Lunch with Emm was fun, I told him about moving in with Debbie and for once he didn’t press for too many details. I love that boy, I should hang out with him more. But the jerk also laughed so hard his Coke came out his nose when I told him about catching Mikey. When Emmett leaves, saying he has to pick up Ryan from the “crap emporium”, aka the Big Q where he works as a stock boy, I go over the counter to talk to Debbie, the crowd has slowed a little and we chat while she sorts out the cash register. “Christ Debbie, you made a ton in tips!” She empties her pockets on the counter and I can’t help but be amazed at the amount of crumpled bills. I know I already have a job but I could stand to pick up another one…. “Hey Debbie?” “Yea Sunshine?” She smacks her gum but doesn’t look up. “Are you really busy here?” “She stops chewing and looks up slowly. “Depends, what’s it to ya?” “Well, if you ever needed any help around here, I learn quickly, and I’d be happy to help, you know, bussing tables or whatever.” Pretty pretty please! I stare at the counter, my fingers rubbing the plasticky surface. Deb surprises me by taking my chin into her hand and raising my head, “You just got yourself a job, and with that bubble butt of yours, you’re sure to make a helluva lot more in tips!” She giggles and turns and grabs a white apron, throwing it at me. Six hours later, at the end of Debbie’s shift, I’m completely drained. My ass must be so red from all the pinching. After about ten minutes, I learned that smiling and shaking your head is not an appropriate dismissal of a fuck offer after a guy thought I was cute and followed me into the bathroom. Debbie kept the rest of the customers in line though, and I made a shitload in tips. The ride home with Debbie is quiet, which lets me think of what to do about Brian. I would just go over to his house, but it’s kinda late now. By the time I shower it’ll be close to 9 and tomorrow’s Monday. Shit, I really don’t want to go to school tomorrow. But I guess life has to go on without Brian. God it’s going to suck, and not in a positive, life affirming way. I let out a deep breathe and lean my head against the cool glass of the window, I’ll guess I’ll just go visit him after school tomorrow and bring him his homework, ha, yea right. The Next Day Every moment of the day I feel it crumbling away if I This day has been so long and awkward. Starting with waking up on Debbie’s couch to the sounds of her singing along with Patty LuPone on her show tunes mix tape. She wanted to make me waffles and everything, but I just grabbed a banana. I still have a crick in my neck from the hideous couch, but at least Mikey goes home tomorrow. When I got to school, everyone and their mother are gossiping about Brian and I just want to scream at all of them. Even the lunch table is awkwardly quiet after I told them all to fuck off. So I guess I’m a little cranky, but if Cynthia starts crying one more fucking time I swear to God I’m going to punch her fucking lights out. I don’t pay attention in any of my classes, but no one really is, everyone’s talking about the fucking game. Finally the last bell rings and I’m freed from this prison, I pack up my books and haul ass out to the parking lot and then to Brian’s house. I run my fingers through my hair as I walk up to his house, I hope he’s awake. I ring the doorbell and wonder if I should have called first. I drum my fingers on my thigh and think about turning around and just going to Debbie’s. I’m about to when Brian’s mom pulls open the door. “Oh hello Justin!” She smiles but looks a little tired, I smile back and step into the house. “I just stopped by to see Brian, is he sleeping or…” “Oh sure honey, I think he’s awake, he’s been sleeping all day.” She chuckles good naturedly, “You know where his room is, would you like something to eat or drink?” “No thanks, I’m fine, I won’t be too long.” She smiles and nods, her manners warm and comforting, not cold and WASPy. I go upstairs and grab the doorknob. It’s cold and I pause a second before twisting it and peeking inside. I see Brian’s beautiful form, stretched out, arms above his head, and I want to sketch him so bad. “Brian?” I step into the room and shut the door behind me. He blinks a couple times and turns his head towards me, “Jus? Come here.” I walk over to him and pull over his desk chair, sitting next to him. He reaches up with one arm and rubs my cheek, encouraging me to lean down. I obey and we kiss. It feels so good to be connected to him once more. He opens his mouth wide and I put out my tongue to meet his. He ends it rather quickly, but keeps his hand on my cheek for a little while as we look at each other. Brian lowers his arm and I lean back, ever the joy kill, “When’s the surgery?” He twists his neck and shakes his head once, “Tomorrow.” I nod and grab his hand, turning it palm up and tracing the lines of his hand. Brian’s POV Justin’s doing his little palm reader thing with his head down so I can’t see his eyes. God I don’t want to talk about this, but I guess we sorta have to. “Will you be there?” He looks up, a bit surprised. “I guess I can call in sick. You want me there?” It’s my turn to look away. “Yea.” I can tell he doesn’t know how to respond, so I continue with the thoughts that have consumed me all day. “I’m scared Jus, I, I know I play it all tough, but I can’t lose this. I know I’m probably worrying too much and this might just blow over like always, but if something goes wrong, if someone fucks up, God, I don’t know anymore.” Justin’s long, strong fingers keep massaging my hand and I watch them, enjoying the small connection. “I know.” I look up into Justin’s beautiful blue eyes and he really does know. Our eyes stay locked and I can feel a little bit of the fear washing away. A ghost of a smile passes on his lips and he stops tracing patterns on my hand and holds it, firm and confident. “I know.” He repeats and he leans down to kiss me once more.