Thanks for your patience! A huge thanks to everyone who left encouraging feedback! Lois, the amazing beta, fixed the mistakes that she found, but I added a few lines here and there so if you find something let me know so that I can take care of it. Hang in there more coming soon. PART TWO Brian spent a lot of time thinking as he made his way back to New York. So Steve had broken up another couple before. He found himself reliving the various comments that the man had made a year before concerning Justin. ‘He’s young. He doesn’t know what he wants.’ On the spur of a moment he called the HR department and requested Peter Salinger’s forwarding number. Dialing it, he waited until the man answered. “Hello?” Peter sounded close to his own age. “Peter Salinger?” Brian asked. “Yes, who is this?” The man asked obviously concerned it was a telemarketer. “I’m Brian Kinney, I’m a partner in Brenner Vanguard.” He replied. “Not what I heard.” Peter smirked. “I heard you were Steve’s new boy.” Brian pressed his lips together in irritation and swallowed his first response opting for one that was slightly less caustic. “I’m nobody’s boy.” Brian corrected, despising the man already. “Whatever.” Peter dismissed. “What do you want?” He asked, sounding distant. ”I was hoping we might talk.” Brian continued. “I have some questions.” ”About the company or the man?” Brian hesitated for a moment as he contemplated how much he was willing to reveal. “Steve and your relationship.” Brian finally conceded realizing he didn’t have the luxury of games or strategies. He needed answers. He heard the man’s soft laughter and considered hanging up as a wave of something akin to betrayal gripped him. What was he doing anyway? Calling an ex-lover who was no doubt bitter toward Steve? What were the chances that Peter could be objective? Was this really being fair to his lover? Didn’t Steve deserve more than this? “What do you want to know? How is Steve by the way?” The man asked cutting through Brian’s mental gymnastics. Peter didn’t wait for Brian to respond as he continued. “He’s great isn’t he? I bet he had you eating out of his fucking hand, feeling so fucking lucky to be his?” The man laughed, deepening Brian’s concern and anger. “Been there; done that.” “Tell me how you guys wound up together.” Brian asked suspecting that Stanford was full of shit but needing independent confirmation of that fact. “I was recruited out of Dartmouth. As a marketing major I won a national competition that Brenner sponsored.” Brian was aware of the competition. They still used it to locate new talent. “I was in a relationship. My boyfriend had a semester to go before he graduated. I had taken a year off so I was older, wiser.” Peter paused, obviously considering those days. “I took the job, came to New York, Devon would be following, but it never happened.” Peter replied, his regret evident. Brian had picked up on the other man’s shift in demeanor. Peter Salinger was no longer the smug SOB who had answered the call. “Why was that?” Brian feeling uneasy about what Salinger’s response would be. “Peter, he’s holding you back.” Peter mocked. “I don’t want to cause problems between you and Devon. I’ll step aside. It will be just this one time. He doesn’t have to know. I think the attraction is mutual. We’ll get it out of our system. Just give me this weekend.” Peter spoke Steve’s words, words Brian immediately recognized. He felt his stomach roll. “Devon never had a chance.” Peter surmised. “He came to the city to look at apartments. I looked at him, so young, so naïve, so complicated.” Peter paused. “Steve seemed so mature, stable,” The other man sighed clearly reliving those days. “just easier.” Brian knew exactly what Peter was talking about, “Devon caught us fucking in my office.” “You were with Steve for—“ “Seven years.” Peter interrupted. “Seven years of waiting for Steve to commit to me. We were partners but I knew it wasn’t the same. What I had with Steve was more about power than anything. He seemed to know it all. It felt like I was taking a short cut to success, to understanding, to that point in my life where all would be well. In the end, it just wasn’t enough. Fabulous dinners, good wine, nights on Broadway or romping through Europe, it just isn’t enough to make up for what was missing.” Brian felt a truth to those words. Things were so different with Steve. Brian knew that he did care for the older man and was still attracted to him but the feelings were so different than what he felt for Justin. “So you left Steve.” Brian stated wanting to get through this conversation. “Yeah, it was over.” Peter admitted. “I think I hung on for the last two years because I didn’t want to admit that I’d fucked up my life letting Devon go like that. He’s married, has a kid that he adopted with his partner. He’s happy.” Peter paused then continued, “He went on and I have my work.” Peter sighed. “I can’t believe that Steve purposely set out to undermine what you had with Devon. Had it been all that it should have been how could he have been able to convince you so easily?” Brian asked. “Wow, you do a great impression of him.” Peter laughed but there was no humor to it. “Did he do it to you? That’s the rumor you know.” Peter queried. “I was in a relationship.” Brian admitted immediately wanting to terminate the call. “Did you love him?” Peter asked. “Yes.” Brian easily replied. He had loved Justin and knew that in truth he still did. “I loved Devon, but no relationship is perfect. Steve made me think that perhaps with him it would be, but it wasn’t.” Peter admitted. “It was never the same with Steve. I mean life was easier, less drama, less highs and lows, but also less fun, less full, just less.” Brian rolled his lips into his mouth knowing it was true of his and Steve’s life as well. “Thanks for your candor.” Brian began to end the conversation. “Brian, you sound like you’re wising up a little before I did. If it isn’t too late, call the man you left. Maybe he feels the same way about things. You might still be able to mend whatever Steve managed to help you destroy.” He offered. “I doubt he’d even listen.” Brian couldn’t believe he was suddenly considering calling Justin. Their last conversation hadn’t gone very well. He had no idea why he might believe their next would go any differently. “You never know and looking back, I wish someone had given me this advice. I might be married now and a father living a dramatic, complicated but full life.” Peter’s honesty was compelling. Brian thanked him then disconnected. He sat in his rental car on the side of the road for a long time before finally pulling back into traffic and heading on to the airport. He’d have to get a different flight. He’d missed his, but that was okay. He needed more time to think before he faced Steve. He knew the older man would be worried. He knew he should call and explain why he would be getting in so late but for the life of him, Brian couldn’t bring himself to dial the number. … Tyler wasn’t sure about this gathering. He knew that Brian and Steve were coming. He knew how Brian’s visit to his office had thrown Justin off his game for a few days. He couldn’t imagine how Justin would react to seeing Brian and Steve together. Tyler groomed his hair taking a quick once over of his body. He knew he was attractive. At thirty he was holding up better than he’d expected. He rubbed a hand over his hard abs. He was startled by a slow sultry whistle. He laughed softly, caught by his lover in a moment of self admiration. He felt the heat of a blush coloring his cheeks. “My, my Mr. Stanford, you do look mighty fine.” Justin teased. “Thank you Mr. Taylor, now if you would kindly fuck off.” Tyler laughed. Justin accepted it graciously, moving up behind his lover and kissing his neck. He felt Tyler tense up. This had all started with Brian’s visit. “What?” Justin demanded. Tyler merely shook his head and returned to his hair. “No, I want to know.” Justin persisted. Tyler sighed, placing his brush on the dresser. He turned and laid his hands on Justin’s shoulders searching for the right words. His eyes met Justin’s trusting blue gaze. Tyler took a deep breath and gathered his wits before he spoke. “Justin, we both know that you are still in love with Brian.” He wasn’t surprised that Justin didn’t argue with him. Justin was honest and they both knew about his feelings. “We both know that it will be hard for you to see him today with Steve.” Justin tried to look away but Tyler wouldn’t allow it. “I know you care about me. I know I’m someone special in your life but I want you to also know that I understand that I’m not Brian and never will be.” “I care about you.” Justin reiterated. “I know that.” Tyler smiled down on the younger man. “What I’m saying is that with all the information I gave to Brian maybe he might try to test the waters with you this weekend.” Tyler paused letting his words sink in. “And if he does and you want to go for a swim, I think you should.” “You want me to let Brian fuck me?” Justin’s voice was shocked and incredulous. “If that’s what you want. I want you to do whatever you want.” Tyler explained. “Thanks.” Justin huffed. “You’re misunderstanding.” Tyler sighed in frustration. “No, I understand. You don’t give a shit if someone bangs me this weekend.” Tyler tightened his grip losing his patience. “I’m trying to be understanding Justin.” He raised his voice. He’d never done that before. “No, I don’t WANT you to have sex with Brian. I love you.” He paused trying to reigning in his emotions but failing. “But I want you to be happy. Your happiness is more important to me than mine. Get it? I’m being self sacrificing for fuck sake!” Justin stared at him for a moment ignoring the fact that he’d just been yelled at. He leaned up and kissed the man. “I would never do you that way.” Justin replied softly. “I would never hurt you like that.” Tyler felt relieved. He knew in his heart what was coming but the fact that Justin still didn’t see it buoyed him. He kissed the blond, then sought those beautiful blues eyes seeking forgiveness. It was easily granted as they found themselves tangled in one another’s arms, struggling against clothing, knowing they would be arriving later than expected but not really caring. … “Something to drink?” Deb asked trying to be nice to the man who had ripped her Sunshine’s heart out. “No thank you, I’m still sipping on this.” Steve replied, fighting the grimace that came from a glass of cheap merlot. “How about you honey?” Deb asked, offering the bottle in Brian’s direction. He waved her off, exchanging a sympathetic look with his lover as he did so. “So Justin is bringing his boyfriend.” Emmett announced, bringing up the subject for the first time in front of the two men. It had been discussed at length for the last two weeks among the family members. Brian and Steve had only arrived the night before. “Justin is seeing someone?” Steve asked. “A boy at college, someone his own age?” He asked, taking another sip from his full glass. “I guess.” Michael admitted. “We don’t know much. He hasn’t said much.” “How long have they been together?” Lindsay asked. She hadn’t been privy to much of the information. “Right after he started there. I think they met then but didn’t start sleeping together until recently.” Ted offered. “Isn’t that what you gathered?” He looked to Michael. “Yeah, he was evasive though. He mainly wanted to talk about Rage.” Michael helped himself to some more chips. “Jus!” Gus yelled as he raced to the front door. “I guess that means Justin is here.” Melanie laughed, following her son to the door. “Jus!” Gus jumped into his arms the moment the door was opened. “Guster!” Justin kissed the boy, giving him a hug. “You’ve grown. I thought I told you not to do that anymore.” Gus laughed. “Can’t help it.” He admitted. “You should see Jenny.” “I bet.” Justin stepped in. Brian had risen from his chair along with Steve. Both men hanging back as the blond was consumed by the embraces of the family members. It was hard to make him out except for an occasional glimpse of blond hair. Brian kept searching but finally gave up. He glanced at Steve who seemed miffed that Brian had been trying to see his ex-lover. “I miss him.” Brian offered. “You know that. It doesn’t mean anything.” Steve rolled his eyes. Things had been strained since Brian had returned from New Hampshire. He’d arrived with both questions and accusations. Steve had attempted to answer the charges as fairly as possible but still felt that there were many issues left unresolved. He’d wanted to forget about this gathering. He’d even contemplated not coming, but knew better than to send Brian back in his present state of mind without him. “This is Tyler.” Justin introduced the dark haired man who was still in the doorway. Brian turned and stared at the entrance where now he could clearly see both Justin and Tyler Stanford. He turned back to Steve then looked once more in disbelief. “Well I guess we know why Instyle wants nothing more to do with us.” Steve muttered cattily. “Yeah, and why their last designs were so fucking good.” Brian muttered back. He should have known it was Justin’s work. The style and technique now screamed back him. It was so obvious he wondered how he had missed it. Justin glanced over and met Brian’s gaze. He reached for Tyler and pulled him further into the room. “Tyler, you know Brian Kinney and Steve Brenner.” Tyler gave Brian a knowing smile dipping his head, then a cooler reception to Steve. “Well this explains a lot.” Steve announced. “BMW ad?” Brian asked. Justin nodded. “And Horizon.” Justin added. “And Vericorp.” Brian smiled and was pleased to see that Justin smiled and nodded as well. “I didn’t realize it was for Brenner Vanguard.” He admitted. “I had no idea.” “I’m thirsty.” Tyler announced. “I’ll get you something.” Justin gave him a grateful smile for the rescue. He headed into Deb’s kitchen. He glanced around the selection and decided on nonalcoholic for both of them. “So, you are with Justin now.” Steve was thrilled. This was perfect. Justin seemed happy, Tyler seemed happy, Brian seemed like he wanted to leave. It was perfect. “Yep, couldn’t believe he was available. He’s an amazing artist.” Tyler replied glancing at Brian. “In every sense of the word.” “Let me guess, he doesn’t want to work with us.” Steve pressed. “No, actually he said he wanted me to do what was best for my company. I decided that I no longer wanted to work for you.” Tyler accepted the glass, kissing Justin lightly on the lips. “You worked for them?” Melanie asked, having overheard as had the rest of the family. “Ty owns a graphic design company. We do contract work for both marketing and advertising firms. Brenner Vanguard was one of our customers. I did some work on a few of their campaigns.” Justin explained. “But now we’ve terminated that relationship.” Tyler smiled evenly. “You’re in touch with that feeling, right Brian?” He challenged possessively. “Don’t.” Justin warned, pulling his boyfriend away from the other men. “I don’t need a cave man.” He whispered as they moved to the couch. “But I want to be your cave man.” Tyler replied. “Knock it off.” Justin warned and Tyler knew that he was serious. They took their seat and picked up in the middle of Emmett’s fashion emergency. Brian stood sipping his wine watching the way Tyler reached around Justin’s slim body and held him against his chest. He noticed how from time to time the older man buried his face in Justin’s hair then pulled back giving him a light kiss. He watched as Justin absently rubbed the man’s arm that encircled his waist and the way he would look back during the most entertaining parts of the story to make sure Tyler was just as amused. Brian’s heart ached at each gesture and smile. He missed being that person, feeling that body in his arms, sharing those private jokes. He and Steve had their private jokes, their gestures of endearment but there was something so unique and caring about the way Justin loved. He was so affectionate and open about his feelings. Brian missed that. “You okay?” Deb moved up as soon as Steve excused himself to the restroom. “I’m fine.” Brian assured her. “He looks happy.” Deb observed. “Yep.” Brian agreed. “You can’t take your eyes off of him.” She added curiously. “I haven’t seen him in a while. I miss him.” Brian admitted. Deb nodded then placed a kiss on the man’s cheek. “It’s not too late. No matter what Steve tells you, Justin still loves you. It’s as obvious as the nose on your face.” Brian looked to her in confusion. “Next time Justin looks this way take a second to notice his eyes. They are the same. They still look at you as though you hold all the answers.” She kissed him once more on the cheek then moved away. Just then Justin looked up offering Brian a small smile. Brian saw the warmth in his eyes and realized that maybe Deb was right. … Steve and Brian were lying in bed. The sex had been routine to say the most. Steve sighed knowing full well what the underlying issue was. “Just go talk to him.” He huffed. “Go find out what you need to know and then come back.” Brian rolled away from him closing his eyes. “Don’t tell me what to do.” He warned. “I’m not.” Steve spat. “I’m just merely making an innocent suggestion.” “Well I’ve had enough of your innocent suggestions.” Brian growled. “Oh no not that shit again. Are we back to how it’s MY fault you stopped loving Justin.” Steve sat up staring down on the man next to him. “Fuck off.” Brian replied unsure of what else to say. “No I won’t. We are going to have this out now.” He ordered. Brian sat up as well. He was more than ready to have this out. “Fine, let’s do it.” Brian challenged. “You subtly suggested that Justin wasn’t right for me. That he was less. That he complicated my life too much.” “I made observations based on my objective opinion.” Steve argued. “Objective? How could you possibly be objective?” Brian interrupted. “If you loved him so much how could you possibly have been so easily convinced?” Steve spat back. Brian was shocked. Hadn’t he asked Peter Salinger the exact question a few weeks before? Why had he been so easy to convince? Why had it been so easy for him to let the blond go? “Well?” Steve pressed. Brian sighed and buried his head in his hands. “You and Justin weren’t right for each other. You know that now and you knew it then. Just because he walked back into your life today, looking young and beautiful and is now attached to someone who is also young and beautiful, you’re trying to second guess your decision.” Steve soothed. Was he? Brian wasn’t sure. He felt so confused about his feelings. Was he just second guessing himself because he saw his ex-lover today? Or was it the fact that Justin seemed so happy with Tyler Stanford? Was Brian struggling with the realization that he’d been replaced? “Do you think Justin is arguing with Tyler about you tonight?” Steve laughed making Brian feel ridiculous. “More than likely he’s getting the shit fucked out of him.” Brian glared up at Steve who knew he was hitting close to the mark. Steve softened his tone as he continued. “He’s moved on Brian. He doesn’t love you anymore.” Brian sighed and looked away. Why did it hurt so much to hear that? Isn’t that what he’d hoped for? “But I do love you.” Steve reached for him and was relieved when Brian didn’t resist. They came together and started again, this time making love for hours. … “You okay?” Tyler asked as he watched the blond remove the used condom and drop it in the trash can. Justin nodded. “It was just weird.” He admitted. Tyler nodded sagely. “I always will be.” He added. Justin smirked as he crawled into bed snuggling into Tyler’s welcoming arms. “I know. You’re right.” He whispered. “I still can’t quite believe that he doesn’t love me anymore.” Justin marveled. “How egocentric is that?” “Not egocentric.” Tyler assured him. “Have you ever talked to anyone who’s been through some sort of catastrophic event?” “Like a bashing?” Justin asked. Tyler kissed his scar then shook his head. “I was thinking more of a hurricane or tornado, or a flood.” He admitted. “You see them staring at the devastation and they all say the same thing ‘I can’t believe it’s all gone.’“ He kissed Justin’s head once more, giving the man a moment to think about his words. ”They never expected it to happen and so it’s just hard to find a place to put it where it could ever make sense, because it doesn’t make sense. Brian’s choosing Steve over you doesn’t make sense.” “I think you’re a little biased. They seem happy together.” Justin argued sadly. “No Justin.” Tyler demanded with full confidence. “I’ve known about Steve longer than you have. I have seen the man in action before. Brian was a victim of a true manipulator. I’m not sure when he’ll wise up but just like Peter, he will. He’ll wake one morning and realize that he let the best thing that ever happened to him slip through his fingers or even worse, have to admit that he willingly threw it away.” Tyler pulled Justin’s face up until they were looking one another in the eye. “His loss is my gain.” He kissed Justin’s lips. Justin wanted to deepen it. He wanted to feel the man inside of his body, to be joined to him once more but instead felt Tyler working to keep the contact light. “Make love to me.” Justin whispered, his voice a mere breath upon Tyler’s neck. The older man took him into his arms and did just that. … “Good morning.” Tyler greeted everyone as he entered Debbie’s home once more. He was received warmly which irritated Brian more than he wanted to admit. If he were being honest with himself he would admit that Stanford was a good man, someone who could love Justin and even make him happy. Somehow this fact only seemed to deepen Brian’s growing animosity toward the man. “Where’s Sunshine?” Deb asked. “He’s is off with Daphne.” Tyler announced. “They invited me along but I decided this was a good time to get to know each of you better.” He accepted the cup of coffee Ted offered him. “How about some breakfast?” Deb asked smiling even as she threw a worried glance in Brian’s direction. Brian had grown suddenly sullen upon Tyler’s arrival. “No, I really don’t eat breakfast.” Tyler admitted. “Boy, Justin does.” Deb sighed. “I know, you should have seen him scavenging the first morning after he’d stayed over.” Tyler laughed. “I think he settled for spaghettios.” Everyone but Brian found that amusing. “When would that have been?” Brian asked flipping nonchalantly through the paper working to hide his acute curiosity as to when the two men had begun sleeping together. “It was after his disastrous trip down to the condo.” Tyler admitted. “He came to see me when he got back. He was pretty upset.” Tyler admitted. Everyone was quiet for a moment as all eyes turned to Brian. “So you just thought a fuck might comfort him.” Brian sarcastically observed, laying down the paper to challenge the younger man. “Not that it’s any of your business, Brian, but no.” Tyler met his challenge. “I put him to bed on my couch that is after he’d revealed how deeply hurt he was by your calling him a sell out.” Brian felt the invisible blow and found he had no reply for once. He returned to his paper. “Do you have any idea how much it cost him to go to his father?” Tyler demanded. Brian refused to take the bait choosing to sip his coffee instead. Tyler pressed his lips together scrutinizing the other man for a long moment. Brian was already regretting his decision to leave Justin. Tyler could practically smell the jealousy. “So where is your older half?” Tyler didn’t feel like letting him off easy. “He’s sleeping in.” Brian declared sounding uninterested. “Right, I bet he does have to get that extra sleep. Has he taken to naps in the afternoon yet?” He asked as he took another sip of his cup to hide his smile. “I love naps.” Deb announced not realizing she was adding to the fire. “No, he doesn’t nap.” Brian snapped. “Though, I can remember Justin needing a few when he stayed up past his bedtime.” “Yes, well we nap together.” Tyler remained unaffected. He smiled at Debbie mischievously. “But it’s the waking up part that I enjoy.” Brian got up in a huff and moved to the living room. Tyler gave the group sitting with him a victorious grin. He’d just won the first round. “So how did you meet Justin?” Lindsay asked, changing the subject. She knew what Brian had done to Justin was inexcusable but still felt compelled to protect her friend. “Actually he applied for a job with my company. I went out and met him in the coffee shop in the student center at Dartmouth. He walked in and I don’t remember much more after that. His art work was good. He was intelligent and charming. I left after offering him the job.” He remembered that day so clearly. Justin was so beautiful sitting across from him but at the same time sad and distant. “So it was his looks that got him the job.” Brian offered from the couch. “He’ll be thrilled to hear that. He loves shit like that.” “No it wasn’t his looks.” Tyler disagreed, “But it’s hard not to notice them.” “So you hired him so you could get him into your bed.” Brian felt indignant. How could Stanford sit there and admit that the reason he’d hired Justin had nothing to do with his talent and everything to do with his appearance. Justin would be crushed if he knew. “You aren’t listening.” Michael interrupted. “He just said it wasn’t Justin’s looks.” “I know what I heard.” Brian rejected his friend’s interference. “Do you make a practice of seducing your talent?” “Whatever Brian.” Tyler dismissed him hating how quickly the other man had turned the tables on him. Tyler turned his attention back to Lindsay and the rest of the family. “He was really distant though. It took a while to realize he’d been hurt. We worked together on a couple of things. He’s remarkably talented.” Lindsay nodded her agreement. “You should have seen his work before the bashing.” She sounded filled with regret. “He had a few drawings with him that day. They held such promise.” Tyler admitted. She nodded once more. “But I admire a man who can overcome all obstacles.” “Well that’s Justin.” Emmett agreed. “So then you fell in love with him.” He wanted to get to the good part. “Oh man, I fell hard. I remember this one day. He’d been working for me about three weeks. Justin was working late. I went down to the Art Department to offer him a ride back to campus but as I walked into the art department I just froze. He was there in total immersion working on this layout.” Tyler’s voice sounded slightly distant as he replayed that afternoon in his mind. “The light was coming down from above the way he was holding his body.” Tyler paused then sighed. “I was gone at that moment. He’s amazing.” He admitted. “Smart, funny, clever, persistent.” They all laughed at that. “I love him.” Tyler admitted. “Does he love you back?” Melanie asked wanting Brian to hear the answer even though he was pretending not to be listening. “I think so.” Tyler replied. “He said it, once, but I don’t want to push him. He’s been through a lot. I’m not sure he’ll ever trust anyone the same way he did.” “Oh fuck!” Brian spat. “So another thing to blame on me! His art isn’t the same since the bashing, he can’t love anymore because of me.” Brian threw down the paper then headed upstairs to Steve. Once he was gone Tyler shook his head. “Not very comfortable with the way he handled things.” He observed. “He knows he was a shit.” Deb offered. “But there was a time that he was good to Sunshine. They were happy together once.” Her voice was soft and sad. “He loved Justin.” Lindsay agreed wondering if anyone else had picked up on the fact that Brian was still blaming himself for the bashing. “Yeah, well if that’s how he treats someone he loves, he can hate my ass.” Tyler met her gaze. She looked away knowing it was a losing proposition to defend Brian now. …. “So do you love him?” Daphne asked sipping her coke. Justin gave a small smile then nodded. “Oh man, really?” She sounded happy but there was something in her voice that Justin picked up on. “What?” He asked. “I just always thought you and Brian were meant to be together.” She offered with a shrug. “Well me too but then I opened a pantry one night and realized that I was wrong.” He sipped his own drink then pushed it away. “It was so weird seeing them together. Steve kept touching Brian. I felt..” ”Jealous?” She asked bluntly. “Yeah but why would I? I’m in love with Tyler.” He leaned back in his chair. “Just because you start caring for someone else doesn’t mean you are suddenly not going to care for Brian anymore. I mean you loved him for what, three years.” Justin nodded. It made sense. He missed Brian. He missed being with Brian. No matter how good it was with Tyler it wasn’t the same. Justin missed so many things that only he and Brian would do together. He missed Brian’s dry wit, his generous heart, his desperate need to stay in the background all the while working to help those around him. He missed how safe he always felt whenever Brian was around. He missed Brian. “I miss the looks.” Justin stated to no one in particular. “We use to exchange these looks where we knew exactly what the other person was thinking.” He smiled, looking up at his friend. “I’m glad you’re moving on.” Daphne noted. “What he did was shitty but he’s human and he did obviously care for Steve if they are still together.” Justin hated to hear it but knew it was the truth. “I just don’t want Brian to get hurt.” Justin admitted. “What?” His friend shrieked in disbelief. “I don’t.” Justin admitted. “First of all who are you and what did you do with my friend? Second of all, why would he?” Daphne asked. “He was a shit to me but that doesn’t mean I want someone to shit on him. I think Steve will. That’s his M.O.” Justin announced. “He did this before to another guy that Tyler knows. Talked him out of his younger lover, and then never would commit.” “Wow, really?” Daphne was amazed. “I wouldn’t think Brian would fall for that.” She admitted. “Well he did.” Justin stood. “Maybe it isn’t a set up.” Daphne defended. Justin furrowed his brow as he listened. Daphne had a way of seeing things from a perspective he had never considered. “Steve is a lot older. He probably couldn’t see what Brian saw in you. I mean Brian 12 years older, Steve has to be at least twenty. It’s a huge gap.” She sipped her tea. Justin rolled his lips into his mouth then nodded. “Are you finished?” He asked, tossing a couple of bills on the table. The woman nodded then rose and followed him out. “So where do you stand now with Tyler?” She asked. “He wants me to move in. I don’t think I should.” Justin admitted. “Why not? He loves you.” Daphne argued as they got into the car. “I thought Brian loved me too.” Justin admitted. “I don’t ever want to feel like I did when I was packing my shit to get out of HIS house.” “You think it would be like that with Tyler?” She asked sincerely. Justin considered the two men. “No.” Justin replied. “He would never do that to me.” “Then?” Daphne pressed. “I’ll have to think about it some more.” Justin replied. It was the best he could offer. … Tyler had a conference call. He had mentioned that it might take a while and that Justin should go out with Emmett, Ted, Michael and Ben. He wanted his lover to enjoy his time visiting with friends and family. Justin had been hesitant but Tyler had insisted. He knew Justin was feeling slightly conflicted and perhaps needed some time on his own to figure out where they stood. He’d asked the young man to move in with him several times but still Justin was resistive. Tyler had felt for a long time that this weekend would be the make or break point in their relationship. He had steeled himself for the fact that more than likely Justin, if given the chance, would go back with Brian. He hated to admit that the blond was still in love with the handsome ad man, but he couldn’t miss the look in Justin’s eyes each time Brian walked into a room. He didn’t blame Justin for it. He knew that Justin was shooting as straight as he could. He’d never once mislead Tyler on where they stood. Tyler wanted more. Justin knew that, but he never made false promises. Tyler had to respect that. “If I get done early I’ll catch up.” He promised. Justin kissed him lightly on the lips feeling insecure and not sure why. Tyler read the hesitancy in the blond’s eyes. He offered Justin a reassuring smile. “Now go drive some men crazy for me.” He teased. Justin was dressed in a pair of dark leather pants Tyler had recently bought and a tight white t-shirt. Tyler hated to send him out to the club like that. Babylon had a reputation and Tyler wondered if Justin would be able to resist all the offers he was about to receive. Tyler wondered if Justin had been expected to resist other men when he had been with Brian. Then again, from what Justin had said of their relationship, Brian had never seemed to care if Justin was with other men or not. Tyler was convinced that the man was a fool. ….. “I’m just going for a little while.” Brian announced. “And do what?” Steve questioned. “And why am I not included?” “It’s just an old time thing.” Brian offered as he pulled up his jeans. “Will there be an old time blond there waiting for you to fuck down memory lane?” Steve spat feeling insecure and defensive about being excluded. “He’s with someone else. You saw how they were together.” Brian argued. Steve refrained from answering. He had also noticed how riveted Brian had been to the couple. He had a feeling tonight would end badly for everyone. “Fine. Go. Fuck someone, but take a shower before you come to bed.” The older man turned his back on his lover. Brian wasn’t sure what to say. He was planning on fucking someone, anyone, he needed it down and dirty. He needed to fuck, something Steve flat refused to give him. ‘Fucking is so crude and selfish.’ The older man had complained. Brian had enjoyed making love with the man in the beginning. It was something new. He’d never taken time with Justin that way, but now it was more automated than inspired. He closed the door behind him and headed down the stairs. “Ready?” He asked. Michael with one look knew what his friend was up to. Brian Kinney ‘Stud of Liberty Avenue’ was back. … Emmett and Ted stood at the bar watching the blond as he was molested before their very eyes. “Should we step in?” Ted asked. Emmett smiled and shook his head. “He’s in control baby. Watch him.” They did and Ted soon realized that Justin was indeed in the driver seat, driving the other men around him crazy. “Buy me a drink?” Michael teased as he moved up along side his friends. Ben and Brian followed. Brian’s eyes were focused on the blond on the dance floor. “Looks like Justin is having fun.” Ben observed watching Brian for a reaction. “He’s been in high demand all night.” Emmett confirmed. “Where is Mr. Right?” Brian snapped bitterly. “On a conference call.” Ted replied. “I’m surprised he let Justin out of his sight let alone let him come here dressed like that. He has ‘fuck me’ written all over him.” “Well some men just don’t appreciate what they have until they lose it.” Emmett added, all men looking at Brian for a moment. “Fuck you.” He spat as he downed a shot and headed out to the floor. Surprisingly he gave the blond a wide berth picking another man, a tall brunet, to grind with. Justin opened his eyes as another set of hands touched his ass. He noticed Brian on the far side of the dance floor and found himself mesmerized by the way he was rubbing against his partner. Justin had always loved dancing with Brian. He lamented then allowed his eyes to travel up Brian’s body until to his surprise he met Brian’s gaze coming back at him. Refusing to look away Justin leaned back into the man who was holding him. He felt the man’s hard cock rubbing against his ass. “I’m going to take you into the backroom and fuck that tight little hole of yours until you’re begging for me to stop.” The man whispered. Justin pulled slightly away not wanting to be a cock tease. He had no intentions of letting anyone fuck him in the backroom tonight. He stopped dancing and made his way to the bar. Ordering water he downed the bottle then ordered another one. “Working up a sweat are you?” Brian’s voice startled him. “Yep.” Justin’s answer was short and abrupt. “Does your Daddy know you’re here dressed like a little hustler?” Brian asked, his breath hot on Justin’s neck. “I don’t have a Daddy.” Justin declared. “You use to call me Daddy.” Brian suggestively argued. He was standing so close to Justin that he could feel the younger man’s heat through his clothing. In a flash, images of past games they’d played together rushed through Justin. He just as quickly pushed them away refusing to give in to those feelings. That was the past; his time with Brian was over. Justin resented how often he still found himself repeating that exercise. “You’re not my Daddy anymore.” Justin threw down the second bottle then moved around Brian to head back to the dance floor. “Dance with me Emmett.” He suggested. Emmett was thrilled to be called out and followed the blond meeting him in the middle of the floor. They both immediately transitioned into the praise Jesus, enjoying one another’s company as they moved to the music. “You really are a prime princess.” Emmett leaned in kissing Justin’s cheek. “I had a good teacher.” Justin bowed his head in respect causing Emmett to laugh. “You know I wasn’t the only one teaching you.” He glanced over at Brian then back to Justin. “Don’t.” Justin warned. Emmett accepted his word and instead concentrated on the music. He didn’t even notice when the man who had been grinding with Justin on the previous song approached and grabbed the blond from behind. Opening his eyes he noticed that Justin was struggling against the man trying to get out of his arms as he was being dragged to the backroom. Emmett scanned the bar and found Ben, Michael and Ted engrossed in a conversation. Brian on the other hand was already in hot pursuit of the situation. Emmett followed hoping he might be of assistance. In the backroom it was hard to see anything. Justin’s mouth now covered, his protests sounded more like moans of pleasure blending with all the other grunts and groans in the room. Brian pressed through the flesh seeking out the man who had Justin in his grip. Justin felt himself being slammed into the wall, his head ringing from the impact. He felt his stomach roll and felt his hand weakly pushing at the man who was now ripping his leather pants down. “Stop!” He yelled once then found his mouth covered by the other man’s lips. He fought to breathe as the world darkened around him. He felt two hands lifting his ass into the air and a hard cock pushing against his hole. He squirmed, desperately twisting away from the unsheathed dick. He felt himself panicking as he realized he would soon black out if he didn’t get some air and then he’d be raped and worst yet, possibly infected. “Please.” He begged into the man’s mouth but it seemed to incense his attacker even more as the hands tightened and the man spread his ass wide. The next thing Justin knew he was falling to the floor, the impact forcing the remaining air from his lungs. He could hear voices immediately recognizing Brian’s as he fought to remain conscious. Looking up he watched as Brian slammed the larger man into the wall, the man’s head impacting over and over again. Justin watched as his attacker struggled then helplessly accepted the damage without protest. It was then that Justin realized that the man was unconscious. He scrambled to his feet and began pulling Brian off of his attacker. “Stop, you’ll kill him!” Justin screamed pulling at Brian with all his might. “Don’t Brian. I’m okay. I’m okay.” He continued fighting off wave after wave of dizziness. Brian finally realized what Justin was doing. He released his hold on the other man and allowed his victim to crumple to the floor. Turning, he took Justin into his arms and held him tight. “Are you okay?” He asked searching the blond’s face. Justin swallowed the nausea that was threatening as he nodded. Brian could tell that he wasn’t. They both searched the floor for what was left of Justin’s pants. They were torn but still covered most of the man’s assets. “Did he?” Brian couldn’t bring himself to ask. Justin shook his head as the realization of how close he had come to being raped slammed into him. He began to tremble as Brian once more took him into his arms. “It’s okay.” Brian soothed rubbing small circles into Justin’s back. “You’re okay.” He kissed the top of Justin’s head, then down his neck, then his face, until he found himself taking the man’s mouth and possessing it as he had a year earlier. Justin closed his eyes allowing the safe familiar feel of Brian to comfort and sooth him. He deepened the kiss pressing his body against Brian’s until there they were united from feet to lips. “Brian.” He moaned, his soft voice going straight to Brian’s cock. He wanted Justin at that moment more than he’d ever wanted the blond before. Brian moved his hand down the back of Justin’s pants cupping his ample ass. Justin moaned reaching down the front of Brian’s pants and stroking the man’s rigid dick. Brian pulled back breathless, his desperate need evident in the way he moved. It was then that Justin’s concussion chose to reveal itself as a wave of nausea hit Justin causing his world to suddenly tilt to the left. “Fuck.” Justin cried as he suddenly pulled away in order to avoid vomiting on the older man. Justin’s head screamed as he braced himself against the wall behind him. “What did you drink?” Brian asked only remembering the two bottles of water. “Nothing.” Justin admitted rubbing his head. Brian touched the back of the blond’s head and was shocked by the size of the knot rising up there. “Fuck.” Brian spat giving the man on the floor a solid kick. “We have to get you to the hospital. With your previous head injury you know the drill.” Justin nodded but then wished he hadn’t as he turned once more losing the rest of the water he’d downed earlier. Brian wrapped his arm around the blond and began steering him out of the backroom. Justin leaned heavily on Brian’s strong chest grateful for the strong arms supporting him. Tyler had just arrived. He was scanning the dance floor when he noticed Emmett, Brian and Justin emerging from what had to be the backroom. He felt disappointed and jealous until he noticed Justin’s appearance. He raced to the trio. “What the fuck?” He demanded. “One of his admirers damn near raped him.” Brian announced. “Brian saved him.” Emmett declared as Brian glanced over meeting Emmett’s knowing gaze. He wondered how much the other man had witnessed. From the look in Emmett’s eyes Brian knew his friend had been there for most of it. Tyler didn’t take the time to thank Brian as he continued to focus on the blond. “He needs to get to the hospital. He was slammed against the wall. Has a nasty lump and is throwing up.” Tyler took Justin into his arms. He took over the job of steering him to the doorway. Brian was still following. Tyler didn’t realize it until he was already in the parking lot and unlocking the car door. “I have this.” Tyler announced, clearly dismissing the other man. “You have to tell them about the other head injury.” Tyler nodded impatiently. Justin was so quiet Tyler was growing more concerned by the moment. He felt the blond pull away throwing up once more. “I feel so dizzy.” The blond offered as he braced himself against the car. Brian moved to Justin’s side freeing Tyler’s hands to unlock the car. “I’ll sit in the back with him.” Brian moved to open the car door and was already helping Justin in before Tyler could turn around to help. “Go left at the end of the alley.” Brian began giving directions as Tyler started the car. He resented that he needed Brian’s help but at the same time was grateful for it. Halfway there Justin reached for the door handle unaware that the car was moving. “Stop!” Brian yelled as he grabbed Justin, keeping the man from falling out. Tyler slammed on the brakes, relieved at the light traffic on the road at that time of night. He listened as Justin once more threw up. His stomach now empty, he heaved nothing as Brian held him, supporting his sides. “It’s okay.” Brian soothed as he pulled Justin back into the car and held him to his chest. “Go.” He ordered the driver. Tyler was once more off, hoping he could get there before Justin felt sick again. Two hours later the two men hadn’t spoken a word as they waited for word on the blond. Emmett had spread the word concerning the incident in the backroom. Michael, Ben and Ted entered first taking a seat next to Tyler. Half an hour later Deb entered with Steve on her heels. “Are you okay?” He asked clearly concerned. Brian gave a brief nod then rose and moved away from the group. “What happened?” Steve asked. Brian moved to a distant window needing some space from Tyler Stanford. “Some asshole tried to rape Justin. I came across them in the backroom. The guy slammed him against the wall.” Brian voice broke as he relived the terrible sound, bringing back the echo of a bat in a parking garage. “I got him off of Justin but he’d already hurt him.” “He raped him?” Steve asked, reaching out and stroking Brian’s shoulder. The brunet shook his head then cleared his throat, regaining his composure. “No, and it’s a good fucking thing. He was going to fuck him bareback.” Steve’s eyes went wild. “Well we all know why someone would do that.” He offered. Brian nodded. No need for someone who was infected to be careful. A doctor appeared at the far end of the hall with Jennifer by his side. “He’s going to be okay.” She assured the group. Tyler was already on his feet hugging the woman. Jennifer hugged him back, both sharing their relief. Brian felt awkward and left out. His gaze met Jennifer’s but she looked away. “He’s asking for you.” She smiled at Tyler. The doctor escorted the man back to his lover. Brian was disappointed. He wanted to see Justin too, but it was obvious that that wasn’t going to be happening tonight. Jennifer moved in the direction where he and Steve were standing. “He doesn’t remember much but he does know that you saved him.” She offered. “Thank you.” She was polite. Brian could tell there was more she wanted to say but was holding back. “Can you get me some water?” He asked Steve, surprising the older man. Steve immediately knew what was up and reluctantly excused himself. “What?” Brian asked once the man was out of ear shot. “I’ll never understand you. You throw him away like so much garbage and then you run into a backroom and take on someone twice your size, according to Emmett, in order to save him.” “He was in trouble.” Brian offered. “Is that the only time you can love him?” Jennifer asked. “He’s in love with someone else now.” Brian tested the waters wondering if Jennifer liked Tyler. “Yes, he is.” She glanced at the group then, insuring that none were listening. “He wants to see you.” Brian could tell that it killed her to tell him that. He felt his spirits lifted by the admission. “Behind Stanford’s back?” Brian asked. “No, I just didn’t want to put Tyler in an awkward position in front of all the people he’d just met.” She replied politely. Brian had to respect Jennifer’s consideration. She’d shown it to him from time to time as well. “I’ll go in when he comes out.” Jennifer nodded then moved away. Steve approached as the blond paused. She turned back meeting Brian’s gaze. “If you can’t wait that long I’m sure he’ll understand.” She moved past Steve without acknowledgment. “She’s a cool bitch.” Steve observed. “She blames you for her son’s broken heart. She’s a real mother.” Brian spoke watching Jennifer as she offered to get coffee for the group thanking them for coming and caring for Justin. “She’s a mother alright.” Steve joked. Brian didn’t laugh, just looked into the man’s eyes. ”Well I didn’t have one, not really, so I’ve always thought it was something, you know the way she protects Justin.” Steve realized he’d overstepped his footing and backpedaled. “So are you ready to go?” He asked knowing he was more than ready. “No, I’m waiting to see Justin.” Brian replied evenly. “See him in the morning. You look exhausted.” Steve leaned up kissing Brian softly on the lips. Brian kept the kiss light as he stepped away. Steve furrowed his brow watching his lover closely. Something was different. He waited. Brian glanced away then turned back meeting Steve’s gaze. “We almost fucked tonight.” Brian admitted, pulling the man up short. “What?” Steve spat, his angry voice capturing the other occupants’ attention. Brian leveled a glare in the group’s direction causing them to return to their previous conversations. He pulled Steve further into the corner. “I said we almost fucked tonight.” Brian kept his voice soft and steady. “Why are you telling me this?” Steve demanded. “I thought you would want to know.” Brian offered not sure why he’d confessed either. “Well, so you stopped before it went too far?” The older man ventured, feeling suddenly inadequate and insecure. He’d sent Brian admitting that there was a chance something might happen but obviously not really accepting that it would. “Justin threw up.” Brian replied. “If he hadn’t, I would have fucked him into the wall.” Brian admitted. Steve felt paralyzed by the revelation, finding himself at a complete loss for words. What was he supposed to do with this new information? What was Brian saying? Steve knew that could forgive the other man but honestly, Brian hadn’t sounded very apologetic. No, Brian hadn’t apologized for his indiscretion, merely confessed it. Steve started to say something then stopped. What was there to say? Brian watched him for a moment then burying his hands into his pockets, Brian moved back to where the rest of the family sat waiting, leaving Steve to work out his feelings alone. … “Hey.” Tyler whispered as he entered Justin’s room. “Hey.” Justin greeted, wincing slightly. “Headache?” Tyler asked. Justin nodded then regretted it. “Are you okay?” Justin asked. Tyler nodded, grateful that the blond was awake. He’d been so frightened. The only person more terrified seemed to be Kinney. He was like a zombie in the waiting room. Michael had mentioned how much the night’s events resembled the night years ago when Justin had been bashed. Tyler wondered what sort of hell that must have been for Brian Kinney. “What happened?” Tyler asked. “I don’t remember much; just some guy wanting to fuck me. He pulled me into the backroom and shredded my leathers. He was huge. I think he pounded me into the wall then I was in the floor and I heard Brian’s voice. I’ve never been so glad to hear it in my life.” Justin admitted. Tyler was grateful but silently cursed himself for allowing Justin to go to Babylon without him. “I’m glad he was there.” Tyler kissed Justin’s hand. “You won’t be.” Justin rolled his lips into his mouth. Tyler felt his chest tightened. “Why?” Tyler asked swallowing around the lump in his throat. He felt certain it was his heart working its way out of his chest. “He kissed me.” Justin admitted. “I think if I hadn’t thrown up we would have—“ He couldn’t bring himself to say it. “You weren’t yourself.” Tyler tried. “I knew what I was doing.” Justin confessed further. “I just wanted you to know what a shit I am so if you want to leave you can. I don’t want any secrets.” Tyler was a little surprised by the line. He’d expected something different. “What?” Justin asked clearly confused. “Well I thought this was where you told me that you were still in love with Brian and that you just wanted us to be friends.” Tyler admitted warily. “Yeah, I would have thought that too but when I came to a little while ago, all I wanted was you.” He admitted. “I wanted to see you, hold you, feel your arms around me, hear your words, feel your breath.” Justin pulled on Tyler’s hand drawing him in closer. “I love you Tyler.” He admitted. “I wanted Brian. It’s this sex thing that’s always been there for us. It’s this spark that just ignites for no reason, but it’s not what I want, not anymore.” Tyler felt like shouting for joy as he lowered his lips to Justin’s and kissed him gently until he felt the blond pull back. Tyler knew Justin still cared for Brian. That truth was there plainly written in those dark blues eyes, but Justin was choosing to give them a chance. He was finally willing to see if he could truly have a life with someone other than Kinney. Tyler tightened his grip on the blond’s hand. “So does this mean that you’ll—“ “Move in with you?” Justin finished it for him. Tyler nodded. Justin smiled and nodded as well. There was still some hesitancy on the younger man’s part but that was to be expected. Tyler accepted it and vowed that the blond would never regret his decision. “I’m so happy Justin.” Tyler beamed, cupping the younger man’s face. “I’m happy too.” Justin replied and knew he meant it. … Brian waited for Tyler to come out before he made his way back. He knocked lightly on the door then stepped inside. “Hi.” Justin looked pale but better definitely better. “You look better.” Brian admitted. “Yeah, covered in puke never was a good look for me.” Justin teased. Brian laughed and sat down reaching for Justin’s hand. He took it and intertwined their fingers. Justin watched the action and considered it. “Is Steve out there?” He asked. Brian nodded. “I didn’t want to leave without talking to you. Your mom told me you wanted to see me.” “Yeah.” Justin cleared his throat. “I wanted to thank you for helping me and apologize for what happened afterward.” “What?” Brian smirked. “What’s a little puke between friends? I mean, after all, a few years back it was a daily occurrence with me if I remember right.” Justin didn’t like remembering those long days when Brian had undergone radiation. He remembered how afraid he had been of losing him then. Justin looked away, sobering the brunet. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Brian offered, realizing that he had. “I just hate thinking about those days.” Justin admitted. “I was so afraid of losing you—“ He looked up, his eyes telling Brian all he needed to know. Brian rubbed Justin’s hand affectionately. “I’m okay now.” He reassured him. “And so am I, thanks to you.” Justin admitted, returning the affection with his voice as he watched Brian’s hand covering his own. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again, needing to clear up the misunderstanding. “I’m sorry about tonight. I was caught up in the moment and I let things go too far.” He continued to watch their hands as Brian slowly withdrew his, getting the message. Justin looked up meeting the soulful gaze. “I didn’t mean—“ Brian began but then realized he had no idea what to say. What had he not meant? The kiss, no he’d meant that. The serious attempt to fuck Justin, no he’d meant that as well. He’d wanted the blond and if Justin hadn’t stopped things, Brian was sure that he would have taken him. He put his hands back in his pockets rising from the chair as he did. Justin could tell that Brian was struggling. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. “Brian?” He questioned. “I don’t.” Brian began again then realizing he still had no idea how to explain it without coming clean and they both knew that wasn’t going to happen. “I should let you rest.” He finally stated as he backed from the room. Justin stared at the man wishing he knew what it was that Brian wanted from him but then why should he suddenly know that when it was the one thing that had always eluded him. “I’ll send Tyler back in.” Brian offered weakly as he turned and headed back up the hall. Justin didn’t want him. Justin had moved on. It was really over. Brian felt numb as he stumbled down the hallway finally stopping short of the waiting area; he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He fought the wave of emotion that threatened. He’d lost Justin. No, it was worse than that, he’d given him away. Justin had loved him, really loved him through all the shit and hell that he’d been through. Justin had loved him through his asshole days, through tricks and cancer, through unemployment and relocation. Justin had put up with his shit, fought through his resistance, broken down all the walls and his reward had been a swift kick to the curb while Brian bestowed all the benefits on Steve. Brian despised himself more at that moment than ever before. “Brian?” Brian opened his eyes, meeting Tyler’s concern. He cleared his throat wishing he could hide his pain from the other man but he knew it was plain to see. “He’s all yours.” Brian whispered. “He’s waiting for you.” Tyler understood. Brian had finally realized what a huge fucking mistake he’d made letting Justin slip from his life. There were no words of consolation that could be offered, no sympathy or empathy would lessen the blow. Tyler turned and headed up the hall to Justin’s room leaving Brian to find Steve in the lobby. …… Readers: Do not despair. I’m still working on the rest of the story. Everyone knows it wouldn’t be a mouse story if it didn’t wind up B/J in the end. Hang in there and thanks for your patience!