Chapter 18 By morning Brian was wishing that he’d accepted the offer to find another hotel room. Justin had tossed and turned off and on until finally Brian had given up and decided just to watch the other man sleep. He wasn’t sure how many nightmares the blond had experienced but it had to have been numerous. No wonder Justin always looked so exhausted. “Did I keep you awake?” Justin asked rolling on his side to face the man. It felt somehow comforting to wake feeling Brian next to him once more. They had managed it once before since he’d returned to the states. Now here they were in Paris and still it felt like an old fit that nothing else seemed to match. “No.” Brian lied. “Liar.” Justin accused then smiled causing Brian to smile as well. “Sorry, it’s just how it is.” Justin offered sounding slightly embarrassed by the admission. “Maybe if you talked about it?” Brian suggested. “So what do you want to see today?” Justin asked clearly changing the subject. “It’s your free day in Paris. The fashion district?” The blond pushed out of bed making his way to the bathroom. “Yeah.” Brian agreed rising as well deciding not to push the blond for the moment. He followed Justin into the bathroom falling back into comfortable habits. “Brian?” Justin questioned when he started the shower. “What?” Brian asked in confusion. “I’m taking a shower.” Justin offered his tone making it clear he didn’t want any company. “Right.” Brian huffed a small laugh. “I’ll wait my turn. Leave me some hot water this time.” He left the room, the familiar impatience returning. He’d hoped that somehow Paris might be the key to bringing Justin some closure as well as giving he and the blond the beginning at a second chance. Now as time seemed to tick on, Brian found himself unsure of how any of this was about to turn out. Brian had just made his way back to the window when the phone rang. Glancing first to the bathroom door he moved to answer hoping the person calling spoke English. “Brian?” Cynthia questioned seemingly surprised that he had answered. “Yes?” Brian replied not wanting to reveal how good her voice sounded. “I was trying to reach Justin’s room.” She offered her confusion apparent. “You have.” Brian replied curtly. “You two are back together.” She ventured. “No, you fucked up the reservations and we are sharing a room.” There was a long silence. “Cynthia?” “It’s what you wanted anyway so don’t get pissy about it.” The woman replied knowingly. Brian was too far away to fire her and besides she was aware that it was the truth. “What did you need from Justin?” Brian asked ignoring the insubordination. After all she was correct in her assumption. He’d never been one to punish good instincts why would he start now. “I need to know if he has the color board for layout five. We were going to enhance a graphic.” She offered. “Hold on.” Brian groused. “His portfolio is here.” Brian sat the receiver down then moved to the far side of the room where Justin’s portfolio was propped up against the wall. Reaching in Brian immediately located something that surprised him. Pulling out three sketches he glanced at the bathroom door once more then back down at the crumpled art in his hand. They were old. They were ones that Justin had done years ago. He placed the sketches back in the portfolio then walked back to the bedside. “Brian?” Cynthia’s voice startled him. He cleared his throat. “If the layout is here then we will just go with the graphic that we have. If they don’t like it we can enhance it later.” Brian dismissed her concern. “Are you sure? I mean the one we have really-“ “It’s fine.” He assured her. “Was there anything else?” He wanted to get off of the phone. He wanted time to consider what he’d just discovered. “No.” Cynthia replied confused by Brian’s dismissal of what was typically Kinnetik standard operating procedure, “The best or as close as possible before the pitch.” Hearing the bathroom door open, Brian turned. “Justin’s here Cynthia. You can ask him yourself.” He extended the phone. “Hey Cynthia.” Justin greeted. He paused as she spoke. “No, it was fine. They offered to help us find another room.” He paused once more, his eyes still locked with Brian’s. “I think around five o’clock this morning Brian was wishing that he’d taken them up on their offer.” Brian raised an eyebrow indicating the accuracy of the blond’s assumption. “No, I left it with Carol. She has it.” Another pause. “No, she put it in a black binder she was getting ready to ship. I suppose it could have been shipped over with the other promotional items.” Another pause then Justin actually laughed. “Right, I’ll do that. See you later today. Now go home and get some sleep or you’ll oversleep and miss your flight.” He hung up then turned to Brian. “Cynthia said to take your temperature she’s convinced that you’re sick.” He offered. “Something about not worrying if the pitch is perfect.” Brian wasn’t sure how to reply his mind still concentrating on the sketches in Justin’s portfolio that now seemed miles away, innocently mocking him from the other side of the room. There was no way he’d have another chance to look at them. Each had been clearly ripped in several places. They’d been painstakingly mended. They had been ones that he’d seen before, one of him sleeping, the other of him just standing somewhere in a wife beater and leather jacket and the other clearly one of him holding Gus as an infant. They’d all been drawn during that first year when Justin had still been at St. James and Brian had been in denial about the reality of how this young man was slowly changing his life. “Brian?” Justin moved closer in concern. “Are you okay?” He reached out and actually touched the man’s forehead. Brian started from the contact still lost in his thoughts. “I need a shower.” He offered then moved to the bathroom. “I hope there’s hot water.” Justin watched him go wondering what had the man so distracted. It had to be nerves over the pitch. Villibord was a huge opportunity for Kinnetik. If this went well there would be more European accounts. More trips to Paris. Justin wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He seemed okay being back as long as he was with Brian. As long as he remained in unfamiliar areas of the city, but that wouldn’t last. Today they would venture out. Justin felt anxious just thinking about the side walk café’s and store fronts they would pass. Tables where he and Andy had spent long afternoons discussing their future as well as their pasts, window dreaming more than shopping as they walked along, familiar faces, faces with names that Justin knew and had once considered friends until Andy had grown ill and one by one they had melted away in a haze of concerned complacency. Andy had known about Brian but it hadn’t been until they were already living together that he began to truly understand the depth of Justin’s unresolved feelings for the older man. Justin had down played them for a long time. It hadn’t been an attempt at deception but more wishful thinking on the blond’s part. Then little by little the truth came out as it has a tendency to do. Moving to the portfolio Justin made another check to ensure that the layouts had survived the flight. He carefully pulled out three pieces of much handled paper and gently laid them aside before removing the layout boards. Satisfied he replaced the layouts then finally one by one, protecting them like he would a priceless portrait, he replaced the tattered sketches. It wasn’t an elevated sense of his artistic ability behind their worth. It was the painful realization of how much they had each truly cost him in the end. In many ways each sketch was priceless. After all how could anyone really measure the monetary value of a life? ******** Brian sat debating between Gucci and Armani as he ordered his second espresso. “You are going to be so sorry for that.” Justin offered. “Why would that be Sunshine?” He asked feeling happy in the warm sunlight. Justin watched as the sunlight caressed the man’s features, Justin felt struck by Brian once more. “You didn’t sleep last night. You won’t be sleeping tonight either.” Justin warned. “Doesn’t matter. The pitch isn’t until Sunday.” He replied thanking the cute, French, obviously gay waiter. “He’s straight.” Justin offered amused by the charm Brian had just wasted. “So?” Brian furrowed his brow watching the man walk away. “Are you sure?” “I’m sure.” Justin gave him a confident look. “It’s a culture thing. There’s less machismo here.” “So are you saying we’d fit right in?” Brian smirked. “Well if you lost the arrogance and your fuck the world attitude.” Justin suggested. “I’ve never had a fuck the world attitude. My attitude is that as long as you’re not the person I’m fucking, it’s none of your business.” He corrected good naturedly. “Well then it’s none of my business.” Justin shot back unsure of why he’d felt the need to comment. Brian reached out laying his hand over the blond’s before Justin had a chance to pull away. “I could change that.” He offered sincerely. “I want to change that.” “That’s different here.” Justin replied softly moving his hand away. Brian noted the action but was not surprised by it. Justin had been distracted all day. He wasn’t sure how much his love of fashion had played into the decision to come to the fashion district and how much of it had merely been the fact that Justin and Andy hadn’t ventured to that part of the city much. “So.” Brian leaned back making it clear he was giving Justin all the space he needed. “People in Paris aren’t going to corner us in an alley if we hold hands?” “It’s more accepting. I mean it isn’t that they all think it’s the thing to do. There is just more of a live and let live attitude here.” Justin replied wishing he could reach out to the man who was attempting to reconcile. How could he ever explain the battle raging inside of him? A part of his heart aching at every sight and sound of the city and the other longing to be in Brian’s arms, it was after all a long abandoned dream to be here with the older man. He couldn’t seem to let go though and enjoy the fact that Brian was here, wanting him, making one advance after another. Justin felt too guilty to take advantage of the situation. He found that he felt much as he had when he’d cheated on Brian with Ethan years back. Only this time there was no real victim, just the oppressive sensation of betrayal. “So are you saying that if I were to lean across the table now and kiss you that no one would bat an eye?” Brian asked as if challenging Justin’s statement. “We’re in the fashion district. In any city in America in the fashion district we’d be safe.” Justin laughed. “Not in every city.” Brian defended. Justin nodded accepting the truth of Brian’s words. “So?” Brian raised one eyebrow. “What?” Justin narrowed his eyes. Brian moved his chair then leaned in closer. Justin found himself moving in as well until their lips met. It was just a short kiss. The kind Brian would give him when they first were together whenever he was in front of his friends. Pulling back, Brian met Justin’s gaze offering a small smile. He then glanced around at the nonplussed individuals seated around them. “Well Professor Taylor, your observations seem to be correct.” He teased. Justin smiled, his mind focused not on Brian’s words but the tingling sensation in his lips. “It would be nice to live some place like this.” “It was.” Justin replied. “In some ways, but there were a few things that I missed.” The blond confessed playing with his cup. “Like?” Brian pressed. Justin glanced up biting his lip. “Like a decent hamburger.” Brian laughed. “It would be food.” He observed wryly. Justin pulled up serious on him as the younger man continued. “Not just food.” He held the older man’s gaze long enough to reveal his meaning. Brian gave a small nod regretting for the countless time the fact that he hadn’t gone after the blond years ago. They sat in silence for a few more minutes basking in the dimming light neither wanting their day to end. It had been nice spending time together, walking the streets discussing the various wares for sale in the luxurious stores. Brian had taken advantage of every opportunity to lead Justin into some sort of discussion that might offer some revelation concerning the sketches but Justin had easily deflected every attempt. Brian couldn’t stop thinking of them. Torn, crumpled, yet now carefully mended and protected. Brian knew that Justin had managed to salvage only a few meager possessions from his life in Paris. It touched the older man to know that three of those items were memories of their time together. “Well I guess the rest of the group will be here soon.” Justin offered as they rose and started up the street once more. Brian wrapped his arm around the smaller man’s waist as they walked. Justin found it comforting as he found himself mimicking the action. He allowed himself to enjoy it for a brief moment. The heat of Brian’s hand on his back, the smell of his cologne in his nose, the sound of his sardonic wit in his ears, it was everything he’d ever wanted, but on the edge of all that unadulterated joy there were shadows, memories of painful days, of horrible truths, of youthful insecurities. Justin wondered if he would ever have a shadow free day. As the sun moved lower in the sky he watched as the city came to life, the buildings one by one lit up around them. Justin found himself contemplating how nice it would be if all of his shadows could be banished in the same manner, if only he knew how to help Brian find that magical switch. ******** Brian wasn’t sure what woke him, but he knew immediately that Justin wasn’t in their bed. Sitting up Brian glanced toward the bath and realized it was empty. Rising he made his way to the main light switch. Turning it on he located his clothing noting at the same time that Justin’s were missing. He’d been quiet during dinner. Brian had felt buoyed by the ease of their physical contact during the afternoon. Several times Justin had allowed him to hold his hand, not to mention the kiss at the café, even at dinner they’re been subtle touches and glances. Still Justin had seemed to drift off from time to time. Brian longed to know where it was that the younger man escaped to during those moments. Where ever it was, it wasn’t a place that Brian wanted the blond to go. When ever he surfaced, Justin always seemed more distracted, dark, filled with remorse. It was as if he returned with a weight that he’d allowed himself to set aside for a while. But why did Justin continue to feel the need to carry so much of the pain surrounding Andy’s death? It was a mystery and one that Brian felt certain had to be solved if there was any chance of the two of them ever finding a way back to one another. Once Brian was in the lobby he checked the bar surprised by how many patrons were still up and mingling. Realizing Justin was not one of the those still up and drinking, he moved to the Concierge to inquire if he had seen Justin leave. It took forever to get his message across but finally after more gestures than words, Brian felt certain that the man had spotted Justin leaving a little over an hour before. Brian sighed wondering where the fuck the blond would travel in the middle of the night. Surely he wasn’t out clubbing. He was hardly ever at Babylon. Why would he club here and not at home? It made no sense. Brian dismissed the idea completely. It wasn’t until the second hour that he began to worry. It was then that he placed the call. “Jennifer? It’s Brian. No, he’s fine, I think.” Brian began. “Well he was when we fell asleep but I woke and he was gone. I was hoping since you visited that you might-“ Brian listen intently then interrupted. “Can you repeat that?” He handed the phone to the Concierge who listened patiently then handed it back to the handsome brunet. “Thanks Jennifer. Unless you hear from me I found him.” He snapped the phone shut then shrugged at Jean who was eyeing him curiously. It was the same man who had checked he and Justin in the two days before. He was now staring at Brian as if he’d just discovered another planet in the solar system. “Can you get me a cab?” Brian asked. “And give him that address?” The man smiled and moved to the door. So the tall brunet was going after the handsome blond. It was interesting and intriguing. They made a beautiful match but their personalities contrasted one another so completely. The blond seemed quiet, thoughtful, intelligent, but sad. The brunet was more bold, aggressive, blunt, slightly arrogant. He was intelligent though and perhaps it was their equality there that had been the reason for their initial interest, but whatever it was the attraction was evident and the chemistry between them palpable. Brian got into the cab, but as he did the Concierge handed him a card written in French. He furrowed his brow. “To get you back.” He offered with a knowing smile. Brian sighed with gratitude. He hadn’t thought about that. He’d been so focused on finding Justin he hadn’t considered what he would do if he was wrong about where the man had disappeared to. The Parisian streets were a mass of cars still racing about, but as the taxi continued the activity slowed until Brian realized he was the only one in a car in the neighborhood. The streets were dark when the car came to a stop in front of a shabby little building on a dirty dingy street. The man repeated the words that Jennifer had spoken and pointed. Brian glanced up through the car window feeling a moment of hesitation. He glanced back at the driver who seemed to be enjoying Brian’s sudden insecurity. Resenting the cocky smirk on the driver’s face, Brian opened the door and stepped out. The driver didn’t wait for further instructions instead he squealed away. Leaving Brian alone on an unsavory street standing in front of a wreck of a building, he turned and considered the building before moving to the door. He was relived to discover that it was unlocked. He was also grateful to find small dim sconces on the stair way leading up to the other floors. Jennifer had said it was the fourth floor. He started up wondering if he should call up to Justin just to see if the blond was in the building. Only the late hour and Brian’s inability to speak the language kept him to calling to Justin. When he reached the fourth floor he paused at the door. He found it slightly ajar and listened for a moment before entering. It was then that he heard the soft sobs coming from within. He knew it was Justin. His heart longed to burst in, take him into his arms and somehow ease his suffering, but somehow Brian knew that was the wrong answer. Justin needed to grieve. He needed permission to cry out all of the shit he’d endured, to rant against the unfairness of the situation, to demand explanations even knowing that they will never come. Brian moved to the wall to the right side of the door and quietly took a seat on the landing. He knew the filth would no doubt ruin his jeans but for once it really didn’t matter. He sat doing all he could for Justin at that moment. Keeping watch over the blond, he felt powerless to save him from what was destroying him from within but no one would get through him to physically harm the younger man. Leaning back, he closed his eyes puzzling over the mysterious sketches, wondering if he was now destined to always play the role of supportive friend, never to be cast again in the role of Justin’s lover. If only he would have realized how much Justin had wanted to be married, he would gladly have given in, thrown his bravado to the wind, but now all of that was gone and somehow he knew he was a part of the pain that Justin was dealing with. The sound of drunken men filtered up through the stairwell. Brian knew this was more than likely a dangerous part of the city. Justin had lived here for three years the last of which he’d spent struggling to help his lover die with as little pain and as much dignity as possible. It seemed like a nightmare to the older man and yet it had been Justin’s life. ********* They began as they usually began soft kisses and teasing touches. Justin closed his eyes thinking of the feel of Andy’s hands, the sensations moving over him. He could feel his lover holding back but felt certain it was fatigue. He’d been tired lately. It wasn’t until the man stopped moving that Justin opened his eyes and met two very dark worried ones staring back at him. “What?” Justin asked smiling then kissing his lover encouragingly. “I have to tell you something.” Andy’s voice was soft with dread. Justin furrowed his brow then smiled once more feeling certain he was being played. “After.” Justin promised moving his hand down Andy’s body. Andy’s hand intercepted his stopping him. “No, now.” He was determined and Justin sighed in frustration. They’d had sex several times over the last few weeks but they’d never quite recovered from the fight that they’d had over the sketches. Feeling certain this was about to turn into another argument over Brian, Justin sighed once more moving back onto his side of the bed. “What?” He asked wearily. Andy took in the other man’s posture and knew they were already off to a bad start. He considered forgoing the discussion and giving into to Justin’s desire but knew it would only make it worse if he did. He rolled his lips into his mouth and sat up pulling his knees up to this chest. Justin watched the man as he sat in silence as if debating on where to start. “What?” He demanded once more. Andy looked over giving his lover a sad smile. “You’re going to hate to me.” Andy warned. The words shocked Justin as he now sat up as well moving closer though not touching his lover, sensing Andy’s need for space. “I could never-“ “Yes you could.” Andy corrected firmly. “Trust me.” His features softened. “Andy?” Justin’s voice now was worried and Andy knew that he was about to destroy any innocence left in the man that he loved. “I have to tell you something. I’ve done something that, well, it’s terrible really.” He glanced over then back to his knees. He swallowed hard then shifted until he was now sitting facing the younger man. “What did you do?” Justin asked nervously. “Remember a few weeks ago?” Andy began. Justin didn’t reply letting the man continue. “When we had that fight-“ “Oh shit is this about Brian again?” Justin spat in exasperation. “No.” Andy rushed to reassure him. “This is about what I did.” Justin waited. “I was angry. You know I was really angry and well, hurt.” Andy began. “I rushed out and just felt so fucking unwanted.” “Andy shit, I don’t want to do this.” Justin began. “Well too fucking bad!” Andy spat taking the other blond by surprise. “I have to tell you something so just shut the fuck up and let me!” Justin gestured for him to continue. Andy sighed obviously struggling. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“ He began. “Forget it. Just tell me.” Justin offered clearly wanting this over. “Well, I left and I wanted to hurt you. I really wanted to hurt you, so I thought of all the stories you had told me of coming in and catching Brian with someone.” He glanced up and wasn’t surprised by the look of betrayal he now found on his lover’s face. He nodded confirming Justin’s suspicions. “You fucked someone else?” Justin demanded. He’d suspected when Andy had returned. The other man was drunk but mixed with the smell of cheap wine, Justin recognized the scent of sex. He’d wondered if he would get a confession. Now that Andy had finally decided to come clean, it didn’t seem to matter as much. “Yes.” Andy confessed. “I knew.” It was Andy’s turn to be surprised. “I knew what you’d done. You got drunk and fucked somebody.” Justin had been angry and hurt but on some deeper level had felt almost relieved by it. After all he’d been cheating on Andy for years both emotionally and mentally. It was as if suddenly the playing field had been leveled. “It’s over now. Let’s just-“ “It’s more than that.” Andy interrupted still reeling from the realization that his lover had known of his infidelity and yet remained silent. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad sign in their relationship. In a moment though, Andy realized, it wouldn’t matter. “Andy-“ Justin tried once more. “The condom broke!” The sandy blond blurted out silencing his partner. It wasn’t the way Andy had wanted to tell him, but Justin’s understanding lover routine had beaten it out of him. “I’m sorry.” It sounded lame, because of course it was. “Have you been tested?” It was a reasonable question. Justin was taking the news better than he’d expected. “No.” Andy replied. “But we’ve been barebacking-“ Justin mumbled almost in disbelief every warning bell going off full blast in his brain. “I know, it was a reckless thing to do. I put myself at risk.” Andy rushed. “You put me at risk!” Justin spat the realization of his own predicament finally making its way home. “I’m sure you’re fine. I’m sure we’re fine. I haven’t topped you since it happened.” Andy explained. “I knew the moment it broke but it was too late, he couldn’t pull out in time-“ “You let HIM fuck YOU?” Justin pushed out of their bed. Andy found himself wondering if they would ever share a bed again. “I was upset. How many men did Kinney fuck behind your back? Oh no that’s right, YOU knew about it.” Andy left the bed as well, feeling awkward. “He never let anyone fuck him. He knew the risk was higher.” Justin defended his ex-lover. “Oh yeah, he was so fucking altruistic.” Andy shot. “He would never have exposed me like this. Fuck!” Justin felt a rush of panic as he grabbed his jeans. “What have you done, Andy? What the fuck have you done?” He demanded. “I was stupid okay?” Andy shot. “Stupid is okay, fucking idiotic, reckless, thoughtless, inconsiderate and homicidal are something completely different!” Justin yelled. Andy felt as though he been sucker punched as he took a step back. “Homicidal?” He murmured. “ You think that I did this on purpose? You think I went looking to be exposed?” Justin stopped straightening his shirt meeting his lover’s gaze. There was so much pain there he felt it in his gut. He could see his own terror mirrored in Andy’s desperate eyes. “No.” Justin offered. “It’s the fear talking.” He confessed. “We’ll go get tested. I’m sure it will be fine but we’ll both go just to be safe.” Andy suggested. “We can go now.” He added. Justin nodded then watched as Andy began dressing. He knew that there was nothing Andy could say or do that would comfort him at that moment. He felt a strong desire to call Brian. He’d know what to say, but not Andy. Justin suddenly felt as though his whole life was over and he’d never had what he really wanted. Wiping his eyes Justin moved to the distant window. The tower so like his memories, distant now. He stood staring at it lit up like a beacon calling him home, back to those days filled with hope and promise. Those days when he actually had believed on some level he could find happiness without Brian. He knew now that it had been false hope, a pipe dream. He had always, would always love Brian and now it seemed that Brian was ready to give him everything that he’d wanted. The trouble was that Justin had no idea if he had the strength to put all that he’d endured behind him in order to have a chance with the older man. Justin turned, taking in the dark dingy bedroom where he’d finally grown up and accepted the consequences of reckless acts and incomprehensible regret. The sky was starting to lighten and he knew he had to get back to the hotel if he wanted to avoid Brian’s inquisition. Stepping out of the apartment he was shocked to find the brunet asleep, leaning against the wall just outside the door. Justin knelt down marveling at this man and how much he had changed over the years of their separation. He reached out and gently shook Brian until weary hazel eyes blinked awake. “Time to go.” Justin offered softly. Brian looked around momentarily unsure of his surroundings. As the night returned to him he started to explain, but was cut off by two fingers pressed to his lips then soft lips making it clear there was nothing left to say. As Justin moved away Brian found his only choice was to follow. He somehow knew that if they were ever to speak of this night it would have to be at Justin’s prompting not his own. He just hoped that Justin had found whatever it was that he’d been seeking. ********* “Bonjour.” Christophe Seifert greeted the Kinnetik team as they met the Villibord group in the lobby. "Deux voitures attendent. Vous pouvez laisser vos bagages et nous nous chargerons de les apporter au domaine.” Justin nodded then turned to the Kinnetik team. After the intial introductions he then explained that there were two cars waiting to take them to the Villibord Estate. Their luggage would follow. The Americans graciously accepted the Villibord team’s hospitality as they moved out of the lobby and onto the sidewalk where they divided into two groups. Justin, Brian and Cynthia in one car with Carol and Mark following in the other. “De quelle longueur est la commande?” Justin asked as they pulled away from the curb. “Au-dessue d’une heure.” The driver replied. “It’s going to be a little over an hour.” Justin remarked. “I bet it’s a beautiful drive.” Cynthia strained around the men to see out of the window. “Here.” Justin moved forward indicating that Cynthia could sit by the window. “Are you sure?” She asked her tone indicating that she was hoping that he was. He smiled and nodded. “I’ve seen it before.” He offered. Brian wondered when and with whom as the blond leaned back closing his eyes. “Lean on me.” Brian suggested. “What about your suit?” Justin asked. “Fuck the suit. Lean on me.” Brian shifted so that Justin would be more comfortable. Cynthia remained silent but watched intently as they two men settled against one another. Brian looked up meeting her knowing gaze. Rolling his eyes he turned back slightly so that he too could watch the French countryside they were traveling through. Less than ten minutes later he realized that Justin was asleep. “Is he okay?” Cynthia whispered, glancing nervously up toward the driver. “No.” Brian replied succinctly. “But he’s trying to be.” Cynthia huffed a small laugh. “You think this is funny?” Brian asked incredulously. “No.” She replied emphatically. “It’s just nice to see that you finally woke up.” “I’ve never been asleep where Justin is-“ “Oh yeah Brian.” Cynthia confessed. “You have been. You were for the longest time. When it came to Justin you were like the walking dead.” Brian started to protest but Cynthia wouldn’t allow it. “Did you ever notice how he looked at you? How he hung on your words, even though he tried to hide it?” Brian didn’t remember. He missed that feeling to a certain extent. “I’m not his hero anymore.” Brian commented dryly. “No, you’re fully human, that’s what makes me think it might just work this time Boss.’ Cynthia offered him a sage smile before turning back to enjoy the trip. Brian closed his eyes enjoying the feel of the blond head resting upon his chest. He’d never really thought about the advantages of no longer being Justin’s super hero. He had always realized he was a mere mortal. Finally Justin seemed to have accepted it and yet still loved him anyway.