Book 5 Chapter 8 “This was in Toronto.” Brian was still foggy as the photo was thrown up for his inspection. It was of Mark and Ethan in an embrace. “The idiot wife was at home so we actually shared a suite. I couldn’t answer the phone but no big deal you know? I mean when you’re fucking the husband, who cares if you have to dodge the little wife.” He then shuffled through a few more. Brian was trying to figure it out. How could Ethan have lied to Justin for so long? Why would he have? Justin had alluded that Ethan had always known that Justin had feelings for Brian. Had the little shit musician kept them apart out of spite? Brian glanced at the photo. It was in New York. It was outside the building he’d helped Justin move out of. His outrage grew as he stared at the image. Stephen was in Ethan’s arms and Mark was wrapped around the musician as well. Brian had always tried to give Ethan the benefit of the doubt because of Justin’s feelings and out of consideration for Stephen, but it was obvious now that this lunatic with the gun wasn’t delusional, he’d had a long term affair with Ethan Gold. Ethan had even gone so far as to conduct the sordid mess right under Justin’s nose, right outside their fucking home. “What the fuck?” Brian spat. Mark laughed. “Yeah, the Ball and Chain was out of town. It was his sister’s birthday or something.” Mark dismissed. “Why wouldn’t Ethan have gone and why would he leave Stephen?” Brian asked trying to find some way to make sense out of this. It would kill Justin when he learned of Ethan’s betrayal and it was beginning to look like Brian would die as a result of it as well. “Well Ethan didn’t give a shit about going and the kid, “ Mark sighed obviously still put out that Stephen had been around. “Ethan had decided that Blondie needed a break.” Brian continued to look at the photo. Ethan didn’t really look happy in the photo, not like he had in the ones Stephen had shown him from Justin’s photo albums. As Mark placed one picture after another in front of the brunet, Brian began to see a pattern. Mark was always smiling but Ethan looked more uncomfortable than happy. He wasn’t sure if it was guilt that caused the man to look so pained or something else. For Justin’s sake he chose to believe the latter. “We had such plans.” Mark finally concluded. He tossed the pictures on the coffee table where they lay in disarray. Mark stepped away lost in his regret. “But then it ended. Why couldn’t Justin have been driving? I mean, Ethan had just flown across an ocean. Was it too much to ask that Justin drive?” He demanded. “Well it wasn’t like Ethan had flapped his own wings.” Brian deadpanned. Mark turned and narrowed his eyes. “You know, I’m really going to hate killing you. I think we are a lot a like.” Brian huffed in disgust at the man’s words. “Oh you don’t think so?” Brian refused to meet the man’s gaze until Mark suddenly moved forward, grabbing his chin and forcing Brian’s eyes to meet his own. “You think the fact that I want to hurt your precious little fuck buddy makes me an evil man?” Mark laughed. “I know all about you. Ethan would ramble on and on sometimes about all the things you did to hurt poor little Justin. Ethan felt sorry for him. That’s the only reason that they ever got together. Pity.” Mark’s words had the desired effect. It was obvious that Brian blamed himself for Justin finding his way into Ethan’s arms. “So when are you going to do this?” Brian asked wondering if once his head cleared, he could charge the man while tied in his chair. He wondered if he would have a chance. He wondered if his life would be enough to slake Reinhold’s lust for revenge or would Justin or Stephen be forced to pay that price as well. Brian forced out a shaky breath as the realization that he had no means of protecting either of the them griped him. “Impatient? Anxious? “ Mark asked pulling the gun back out and running it up Brian’s chest finally allowing it to rest at his temple. He cocked it causing Brian to hold his breath. “I haven’t decided.” Mark finally replied. “I keep thinking that Ethan will send me a sign.” He smiled down at the man as he un-cocked the gun and placed it on the table in front of Brian. “A sign eh? How about one that reads “You’re A Whack Job.” Brian replied. To his surprise Mark laughed at that as he flopped down on the couch. “A Whack Job.” He smirked. “I like that. That’s probably what I’ll tell the judge. ‘Your honor, please don’t send me to jail, I’m just a whack a job.’” Brian felt more nervous with each passing moment. Mark Reinhold was passed whack job and deep into menacingly crazy. Brian found his mind fixating on images of Manson, Dahmer and Bundy. “So Mr. Kinney.” Mark spat pulling Brian away from his dark thoughts. “How do you think Justin will feel when he learns that he was the reason I killed you?” Brian looked into Mark’s brown eyes wondering how Ethan could ever have chosen this man over Justin. Reinhold was so filled with hate and anger. “I wonder if Mr. Hobbs will finally get over his lack of nads and make a move on Justin.” Brian felt his mouth go dry at the mention of Chris Hobbs. “What does any of this have to do with him?” He asked trying to mask his fear. “Oh Mr. Hobbs and I are old friends. He’s quite taken with your lover. Did you know that? The whole ‘bash him in the head’ was out of mad jealousy not disgust.” Brian couldn’t breathe. He tried not to think about Hobbs, about that other terrible day, about the fact that if he died no one would be there to protect Justin from that man. This had to be yet another head game Reinhold was playing. He would have heard of the bashing from Ethan, he would know it was a vulnerable spot for both Brian and Justin. “He’s a homophobic prick.” Brian replied weakly watching Reinhold’s reaction trying to gauge if the man was on the level or not. “No, he’s a homo prick. He’s as queer as you or me, but Daddy’s rich and Sonny likes the money.” Mark laughed at his own poetry. Brian’s mind was still aching from the fall. It was too much information. He felt himself unable to process it all, to fit it into any sort of reason. He felt as though he was staring at a million jigsaw puzzle pieces all white with no shape, no form, and no reason. None of it made sense. Brian knew he was in danger. He knew that Reinhold was planning on using his death as some means of punishing Justin for his relationship with Ethan, but Brian had no idea how Hobbs fit into it. Slowly Brian began to wrap his mind around all that had been said. He realized how distracted he had been by Hobbs over the last few weeks. Hell, even Carl had gone after the man. Hobbs had been a decoy, a set up, so that Mark’s little plan would work. “I wonder if Daddy’s money will have enough power to keep Chris away from temptation.” Mark pulled out another set of photos. These were in a manila envelop. He tossed them in Brian’s lap. It was Hobbs, parked in his car, his head thrown back, obviously jerking off. Brian looked up in confusion. “Took these myself.” Mark boasted. “Right outside your boyfriend’s house.” ************************************ Chris was surprised when Justin walked through the door. He immediately noticed the Detective and another man by his side. “I have to talk to you.” Hobbs’ implored. “It’s important, but not in front of him.” Chris demanded. Justin exchanged an uneasy look with the Detective. “You aren’t in any position to be making demands.” The older man spat. Chris noticed that the other man standing beside Justin had his hand on the blonde’s waist. He didn’t like it. He wanted that man gone as well. “I think I am.” Chris puffed up with false bravado. “And nothing I say at this point can be used against me.” He demanded. Justin stepped forward, feeling the panic winning over his reason. “Fine.” The blonde announced. “You make this good and I won’t swear out anything against you.” He offered. “Justin—“ The man who had been touching the blond called his name, his concern evident. “Max, I know what I’m doing.” Justin reassured him. ‘Max’ thought Chris. He didn’t like Max. “You’re wasting time.” Chris announced to the room. He gave the two other men a pointed looked. Justin dismissed them both with reassurances that he didn’t feel. Once they were alone Chris found himself fighting to keep his seat. He wanted to cross the room, take Justin into his arms and kiss his lips. He wondered if his lips were as soft as they looked. They’d never kissed. Chris had dreamt of it so many times. In his dreams they were in the equipment room but this time they were both touching each other, kissing deeply, stripping each other. It wasn’t until he woke each day that he remembered it had only been a hand job. Even now though he could still remember the way the blonde’s fingers had felt wrapped around his cock. “Talk.” Justin brought him out of his delusion. “It wasn’t me.” Chris began. “You have to know that I would never do anything to hurt you.” His voice was soft in the face of Justin’s skepticism. “Sit down.” Chris offered gesturing to the chair across from him. He knew this might be his only shot to ever tell the blond how he felt and he was determined to do it as he had always hoped he could. “I don’t want to sit down. I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on. What were you trying to warn me about?” Justin demanded. “First you have to tell me that you know it wasn’t meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you.” Chris stated, his bravado completely gone now. Justin saw a glimpse of the boy who had been in the equipment room. The one he had laughed with, and joked with, the one he’d had feelings for, not like he had for Brian, but still there had been lust and interest. There had always been something about Chris that had attracted him, long before he’d ever ventured out to Liberty Avenue. Over the last few years, Justin had often wondered what the hell he had been thinking when faced with the angry miserable bully most of his senior year, but now he remembered. Chris hadn’t always been an asshole. He’d be nice once, funny even, he’d never gone out of his way to pick on anyone, not before the hand job. Justin wondered now if somehow he’d been as guilty for Chris’ transformation as the other had been for his. “Chris.” Justin replied wearily. “Please Justin.” Chris’ eyes sought out his. “Just let me have this and I’ll tell you everything.” Justin sighed and moved to the chair, sitting opposite of the man who had haunted his nightmares, caused him to wake screaming in the night, the man who now seemed to hold all the cards to Reinhold. “What do you want?” Justin asked without emotion. Chris licked his lips. He took a nervous breath and reached out touching Justin’s hands. “You.” He said softly. Justin jerked his hands away from the other man’s touch. “Are you crazy?” Justin demanded. “You tried to kill me.” “No.” Chris shouted desperately. “No, I didn’t want to kill you.” Justin continued to glare at the man in disbelief. Chris sighed then pressed on. “ I just didn’t want him to touch you.” Justin quirked up one brow suspiciously. “It’s true.” Chris demanded. “You were right about me.” He waited for a moment to see if his admission had any effect on the blond. When he realized that Justin wasn’t going to reveal anything, Chris continued. “You were the only one that saw it, but you were right.” He waited again but there was no reaction. “You were always so smart.” He smiled nostalgically. “ and then after that afternoon in the equipment room..” Chris’ voice trailed off. He changed courses his thoughts now tumbling out randomly as he tried to justify his behavior. “I heard what happened when your dad found out about you. The whole school knew,” Justin looked down remembering the humiliation and rejection. “I thought you were so fucking brave but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face it. I would have lost everything.” “I did lose everything.” Justin replied softly still feeling the loss, as he knew he always would. “Not your mom.” Chris stated. “And Kinney. He was with you. He used to pick you up.” Justin continued to narrow his eyes. “I watched. I watched you.” Chris stated softly coloring slightly with embarrassment. “I went down there to see if you were there. I knew I couldn’t do anything but I wanted to see if you were there.” Chris rambled. “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.” Justin replied irritated. “Liberty Avenue, with my friends, I told them it was a freak show but I was looking for you.” Chris replied. “Well you found me.” Justin stated firmly. “With HIM!” Chris yelled accusatorily, then seeing the blonde’s reaction, took a moment to calm himself. “You said all that shit.” He glared at Justin remember the sting of the blonde’s words. “I was so fucking embarrassed. The guys teased me for weeks. I had no choice but to fuck up your stuff, terrorize you in the hall.” He stated solemnly. “You brought it on yourself.” “I brought it on myself.” Justin repeated, his words measured and fill with dismay. “You’re so fucked up Chris. You are so incredibly fucked up.” “Yeah.” Chris smirked. “I am.” He cleared his throat. “Are we done with memory lane, can you just tell me what you know about Reinhold?” Justin demanded. “No, I want you to say it.” Chris stated softly glancing up over lowered lashes. “Say what?” Justin demanded wondering if this was a waste of effort. “That you know I didn’t really mean to hurt you and that you forgive me.” Chris stated his eyes piercing Justin’s. “No.” Justin stated firmly. “I don’t on either account. I don’t believe you and I sure as hell don’t forgive you.” “You know, it was amazing.” Chris leaned back licking his lips. “I can still feel it. Your hand was cold, my cock was hot.” “Shut the fuck up and just tell me what I need to know!” Justin demanded leaning angrily over the table. “Do you ever think of it?” Chris asked seductively. “Yes.” Justin stated honestly. “I do.” Chris gave him a small smile that quickly evaporated at Justin’s next words. “ and each time I do. I regret that I ever touched you.” “Why?” Chris asked shocked and hurt by the man’s admission. “The bat was so cold and my blood was so warm.” Justin hissed watching as horror dawned in the eyes of his attacker. “I’m brain damaged you asshole. You damaged me permanently. You made my life a living hell. Now here you are again. NO hand job is worth this shit. It was a fucking mistake. You were a huge fucking mistake.” Justin stood. “Don’t go.” Chris stood as he pleaded. The door opened and a uniform policeman entered. With a look, Chris slumped back down in his chair. “Cut to the chase.” Justin warned him. “I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.” Chris kept his head down as he spoke clearly defeated. “ I wish I had been brave. I wish I had asked you to the prom. I wish I had whirled you around on the dance floor and kissed you like Kinney did.” His voice was distant as if seeing those images in his mind. “I wish I had made you smile like he did. I wish you weren’t so fucking afraid of me.” Chris felt the sting of tears but refused to let them fall. He swallowed the emotion and took a moment to corral his emotions. Justin sighed. How was this happening? Why was this happening? It was a relief to know that he hadn’t misread Chris’ sexuality like he’d long suspected. He’d been right about their mutual attraction. How could he forgive the man who had taken so much from him? How could he ever give him what he wanted? Brian’s face flashed before Justin’s eyes and he suddenly knew how he could do it. “Chris.” He stated moving back to the table. “I can accept what you’ve said here. I don’t return your feelings. I never will, but I will work to forgive you okay? In time I’m sure I will forgive you, but you have to help me now.” Justin’s desperation was evident. “If you truly have any feelings for me at all, you’ll tell me what you know.” Chris gave him a small defeated smile as he nodded in agreement. It wasn’t what he had hoped for but it was all that he was going to get for now. “Reinhold hates you. He’s linked to your ex somehow.” Chris stated watching Justin’s reaction closely. “I know that. They fucked once.” Justin admitted, frustrated that Chris knew no more than he did. “No, they fucked a lot. He said that he and your ex-lover were having an affair and he blames you for costing him the time he wanted with him. He wants revenge.” Justin’s blood ran cold in the face of Chris’ certainty. How could he be telling the truth though? Ethan had admitted to one or two indiscretions but an affair? How was that possible? It couldn’t be possible. “He’s going to hurt him.” Chris’ voice broke in on Justin’s thoughts. “What do you mean?” Justin asked his face pale and his stomach suddenly in knots. “He thinks you’re responsible for taking his lover from him so he’s going to—“ “No!” Justin’s voice was a harsh whisper as he took another step back from the table distancing himself from the thought of anyone hurting Brian. He knew what Hobbs was about to say but somehow believed if he didn’t hear it that it wouldn’t be true. “Yeah. He’s going to kill him if he hasn’t already done it.” Chris wasn’t surprised when Justin turned and raced from the room. He’d never entertained any chance of replacing Kinney, but maybe if Reinhold was successful he’d get his chance after all. ********************************** “Justin!” Michael called reaching out to stop the man as he raced from the interrogation room. “What did he do to you?” He demanded, ready to go kick Hobbs’ ass. “Nothing.” Justin spat hastily frustrated by the delay. “He said Reinhold is going to kill Brian. He’s going to kill him!” Justin looked wildly around and wasn’t surprised to see Horvath heading out of the adjacent room. He’d been watching through the two way mirror. “I have to let my supervisor know. I’ll be right back.” Horvath stated, his hands on Justin’s shoulders his eyes trying to reassure the frightened man. He gave Michael a meaningful look as he rushed up the hall. “Shit!” Michael spat. “What the fuck!” He felt lost as he continued to stare into Justin’s eyes. Whatever Hobbs had said, it had shaken Justin to his core. Michael had never seen him so unnerved. “You said you followed him.” Justin spat grabbing a hold of Michael. Michael numbly nodded in the face of Justin’s urgency. “Let’s go.” The blond announced pulling Michael toward the exit. “Carl said to wait.” Michael mumbled in protest. “Fuck that.” Justin demanded. “We don’t have time.” They headed down the steps of the station. “Justin.” Max’s voice caused the blond to stop and glance back up at the entrance of the station. “Where are you going?” “To save Brian.” Justin replied as the two men headed toward Deb’s car. Michael jumped in behind the wheel, then narrowly missed plowing into oncoming traffic as he pulled away from the curb racing for Liberty and Independence.