Endings and Beginnings

Book 5 - chapter 4

Brian woke to the soft yet insistent staccato coughing that was his son’s subtle alarm clock. He still felt a twinge of fear as the idea of Stephen being his son sought out a safe place to reside in his mind. He opened his eyes and met the little boy’s baby blues and suddenly realized that all his fears were vanquished by the smile on Stephen’s face. 

“Good morning Sunny.” Brian whispered then glanced over the little boy to see that Justin was still sleeping. 

“Daddy’s still sweeping.” Stephen announced. “I wan some juice.” Stephen placed his order then began wiggling out of Justin’s arms waking the blond. Brian had to smile as once again he was struck by how much the two looked alike. 

“Morning.” Justin yawned. “Please tell me it’s really early and we can go back to sleep.” He yawned. Brian groaned closing his eyes once more. 

“I wish Sunshine, but we’re going to have to push this morning.” He pulled himself out of bed. 

Justin watched as his son made his way to the steps. “Sit down and crawl down them on your bottom.” Justin reminded his son. Stephen obeyed without giving his Daddy a second look. Justin smirked at the boy’s growing independence. He got out of bed and followed his son, picking him up and blowing a playful raspberry on his neck. Stephen squealed then laughed as Justin placed him back on course for the television. 

“Brian can you put on something for him to watch while I get his breakfast.” Justin called as he headed into the kitchen. 

“You’re right there.” Brian yelled back. 

“Yeah, but I need to get his breakfast.” Justin argued. Brian sighed, dragging himself out of bed and heading in to turn on the television. Glancing over, he caught a look in Justin’s eye. He finished finding the station then made his way into the kitchen. 

“You did that just to drag my ass out of bed.” He wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist pulling him back again his hard chest. 

“You’re on to me.” Justin replied.

“No,” Brian stated leaning in so that his lips were only inches from Justin’s ear, “It’s you that’s always been onto me.” Justin felt the heat from Brian’s breath and leaned back further into the man’s body. 

“Brian.” He moaned wishing they had time to shower together, but knowing that they didn’t. 

“Tonight.” Brian promised. 

“I’ll see if Mom can watch Stephen.” Justin offered. “We need some time.” Brian kissed his head then released him and headed up to shower. He tried not to think about the way he had reacted so badly the night before. He tried not to think about the other man at Woody’s. It had been a mistake and obviously Justin had forgiven him, but Brian was not yet ready to forgive himself. 

They did need time together but not just alone. They needed time with Stephen so that Brian could fully accept and adjust himself to the idea of being a father 24/7. He’d never had that with Gus. Now that he realized he would have it with Stephen, he couldn’t help the guilt he felt over his lack of participation with his own son. Lindsay had always encouraged him to spend as much time as he wanted with Gus. Maybe it was time that he took her up on that offer. Perhaps he and Justin could take both boys away and take some time to adjust to their new family. 

Brian smirked, shaking his head as he entered the shower. “Family.” He muttered aloud. “I’m a family man.” It didn’t feel nearly as bad as he had expected it to. In fact it didn’t feel bad at all. 

It wasn’t long before all three were ready and heading out the door. 

“What do you have today?” Brian asked. 

“Not much, getting ready for the ground breaking.” Justin dismissed. He wasn’t sure how comfortable Brian was discussing Ethan. It always felt a little awkward. 

“When is it?” Brian asked lifting Stephen into his car seat

“Thursday.” Justin waited, then got in once Stephen was secured. 

“Want me to come?” Brian offered keeping his eyes on the road as he pulled out from the curb. He knew this had to be hard on the blond. Even though Justin was moving forward with his life, Brian realized he still missed Ethan. He didn’t like it very much but he understood it. 

“Do you want to come?” Justin asked mimicking the man’s gaze.

“Answer my question first.” Brian refused to play this game with the younger man. Justin bit his bottom lip considering what the day would be like and how it would feel to have Brian there. He wanted him there, but he didn’t want Brian to feel obligated to attend. He knew that anything attached to Ethan was a reminder of what had happened between them almost four years before. “Justin.” Brian spat indicating that time was up. “Stop over analyzing this shit and just tell me what you want.” 

“I want you there.” Justin stated. “But not if you’ll feel uncomfortable.” 

“Why would I feel that way?” Brian asked as he stopped at a red light. He looked over at Justin, obviously confused. 

“Well,” Justin stumbled slightly. “It’s for Ethan. There’s going to be a long speech about him. I’ll be mentioned as his partner…” His voice trailed off.

“Justin, you left me for him. It hurt. But what happened had little to do with Ethan and more to do with you and me.” Brian rationalized. “We’re together now. The past is the past.” Justin watched him closely considering his words. He wondered if Brian was really that comfortable with everything that had happened. Noticing the man’s clenched jaw, he knew that he wasn’t but the knowledge that he would set his own feelings aside to support Justin through that day meant more to the blond than Brian would ever know.

“Thanks Brian.” He finally relented, turning his attention back out the front windshield. 

“Just no violin music.” Brian stated. Justin laughed out loud at that then nodded. 

“I promise.” He smiled softly as Brian smiled back. 

******************************

“You say he was talking to some guy.” Carl stated looking up from his breakfast. 

“Yeah this brown haired guy, who drives a jag but lives in a shit hole.” Emmett added to Michael story. Carl furrowed his brow. 

“Could be just a friend he has down here. I mean that would explain why Justin saw him on the street.” He reasoned trying to take a bit of the anxiety out of the two men. 

“I guess.” Michael admitted in defeat. 

“Michael,” Ben started. “Didn’t you say that Hobbs didn’t seem too happy to see this guy?” Michael gave Ben a grateful smile.

“Yeah, I forgot that part. Hobbs’ was furious.” Carl tilted his head. This was interesting. 

“But you don’t know the guy’s name?” Carl asked.

“No.” Ted admitted in defeat. “Just that he lives on the top floor of that run down flea bag apartment building.” Carl wrote it down with the notes he already had on Hobbs. He’d known that the man was up to something but he wasn’t sure just what. He had hoped that his warning in front of Papa Hobbs would be enough to keep the man away from Justin but now this interaction that the men had witnessed felt connected somehow. Carl knew it was just his instincts warning him, but his gut had been right more times than he cared to admit. 

“What can you do?” Ben asked. 

“Nothing at this point, but we know where the guy lives. If Hobbs causing any more trouble for Justin or Brian, I’ll have this lead checked out.” Carl put his notes away so he could finish his breakfast. “You did good boys. You did real good. Now leave the rest of it to the police.” 

“We need to warn Justin and Brian.” Emmett argued.

“No.” Carl stated emphatically. “They have had enough and this might be nothing at all. Let’s just see what Hobbs does next.” 

The friends exchanged looks of frustration but knew that the detective was making sense. 

“Well I have to get to class.” Ben announced. 

“Yeah I have to get to the store.” Michael replied as well. 

“I’ll walk you that far.” Ben offered. Michael smiled and accepted the invitation. Ted and Emmett exchanged surprised looks but said nothing. 

“What was that about?” Emmett asked once the two men were out of ear shot.

“Not sure.” Ted considered finishing his coffee. “Could be the beginning or the end.”

“The end already happened.” Emmett pointed out. 

“Then perhaps it is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Ted offered. 

“Perhaps.” Emmett lifted his cup as Ted met it in midair, toasting their own friendship.

*******************************

“Mr. Taylor.” Alice walked into his office. 

“Yes.” Justin looked up. 

“This arrived this morning.” She laid a flat box on his desk. “It didn’t have a note.” She offered. 

“Who delivered it?” He asked staring warily at the box. He immediately remembered what Brian had told him about the tickets that had been delivered to Vanguard yesterday.

“I’m not sure. It was waiting on my desk when I arrived.” She stated clearly wondering why her boss suddenly seemed so nervous. Justin merely nodded. 

“Okay, thanks.” He dismissed her. She gave him a long concerned look before returning to her desk.

Justin sat staring at the box for a long moment wondering whether to open it or not. He got up and filed a few documents that he needed to put away and then checked his email but always his gaze found its way back to the box. Finally unsure of what else to do, he called Brian. 

“Kinney.” Brian answered. 

“Hey.” The sound of Justin’s voice brought a smile to Brian’s face. 

“Hey, I’m late for a meeting. Can this wait?” Brian asked, his rush evident by his tone. 

“Sure.” Justin accepted. “No big deal.” He replied. He eyed the box then moved it to the far side of his desk. It was probably nothing. He was probably over reacting. He would open it later. Justin felt both frustrated and angry with himself for not handling a simple package delivery. Why did he let Hobbs affect him this way? When would he ever be free of all the fear and anxiety from the bashing?

“You sure? You don’t sound quite right.” Brian continued gathering up the last of his notes. 

“I’m fine. Good luck with the pitch.” Justin pushed the box out of his mind. 

Brian hesitated, wondering if this had something to do with last night. Had Justin gotten to work and started thinking about things. He paused glancing at the clock, knowing he didn’t have time to get into anything at the moment anyway. 

“I’ll pick you up at six?” Brian asked. 

“Great.” Justin hung up the phone and stared at the white box sitting on the edge of his desk. It was a small square box, very thin, with no markings that would indicate what store it was from.

Justin felt ridiculous. Reaching for the box he decided to stop being a scared little faggot and open the fucking box. As soon as he opened the lid he wished that he had waited. There, inside some expensive looking tissue paper, lay a white silk scarf, identical to the one Brian had worn to the prom, with note lying innocently on top of it which read “Remember me?”.

*************************************

“Brian,” Cynthia’s voice came over the intercom.

“Yeah.” He responded as he finalized the copy to go to legal for the contracts for Whitall Resorts. 

“There’s a Jennifer Taylor here to see you.” Brian looked at his phone as if it might hold the answer to why his lover’s mother would suddenly be at his work place. 

“Send her in.” He replied feeling a little uneasy. The last time Jennifer had come to see him at work she had been carrying a bag full of Justin’s underwear and a shit load of guilt to pile on him. 

“Brian.” She smiled as she entered. “I like your new office.” She looked around. They both shared a smile over the memory they were both reliving. “Who would have thought.’ She finally added.

“Not me.” Brian assured her. “Certainly not me.” She relaxed as she realized Brian was obviously happy with the way things were now. He’d had no idea what he was getting himself into with Justin five years ago, but obviously love was stronger than logic. 

“I came for the car seat. Justin said you had it.” Brian furrowed his brow. 

“The car seat?” He asked.

“Stephen’s car seat. I’m taking him for the weekend.” Brian nodded remembering that Justin did say something about them needing time alone. He stood and gestured to the door.

“I’ll go down and get it. Where are you parked?” He asked. 

“Out front.” She stood as well. “I can pull into the garage if that would be easier.” Brian thought about what it would look like to see Brian Kinney wagging a car seat through the main lobby but then realized he really didn’t give a shit. He shook his head.

“No, I’ll bring it out and help you install it.” He replied. 

“Thanks I have the hardest time with that buckle.” She admitted. “Then I’m going to go grab him since Justin has already left for the day.” Brian came full stop turning to look at her.

“What?” He asked. 

“Justin’s already gone for the day and I don’t have any more showings, so I thought I’d just go pick up Stephen now.” She wasn’t sure what the problem was.

“He doesn’t have his car. How could he already have left?” Brian asked. 

“I don’t know. He just called me about two hours or so ago and asked me to take Stephen this weekend, explained that he would bring the baby’s things over tonight, and that you had the car seat.” She didn’t like seeing Brian this worried. “Is everything alright?” She asked.

“I’m sure it is.” Brian reassured her. “I just misunderstood.” He lied. He knew there was more going on but knew that if Justin wanted his mother to know about Hobbs, he would have already told her himself. On the other hand, Brian found himself good and pissed off at the blond for not calling. 

Once Brian had Jennifer on her way he pulled out his cell and quickly dialed Justin’s office. 

“Alice, Brian. I need to know where Justin went today and what time he left.” He had already started back to the parking garage. He’d tried Justin’s cell but the man wasn’t answering. No doubt he had let the battery run down again. Justin was notorious for forgetting to recharge his cell. 

“He left a little before noon. He didn’t say where he was going. I think Mr. Collins gave him a lift though. I saw them leaving the building together.” Brian clenched his jaw wondering if this had anything to do with what had happened last night. Was Justin teaching him a lesson on fidelity the hard way? “Would you like to talk to Mr. Collins? He’s back in his office.” Brian furrowed his brow at that revelation. 

“Yeah.” He stated absently. 

“Brian?” Max’s voice boomed over the receiver. “How are you?” 

“Cut the crap Max, you don’t give a shit about me and I don’t give a shit about you. We both give a shit about Justin so tell me where you took him.” Brian unlocked the jeep and got inside. 

“I’m very well, thank you for your kind inquiry.” Max sarcastically quipped. “I ran him by his place to pick up his car. He said he had someone he had to talk to.” 

“Did he say who?” Brian asked.

“No.” Max replied. “But he seemed…” Max paused looking for the right word.

“What?” Brian demanded. “He seemed what?” 

“Distant, distracted.” Max finally reported. “He was very quiet but seemed like a man on a mission. Does that make sense?” He asked remembering how uneasy he had been in letting the blond out of his car. 

“And you still took him to his car and didn’t find out where he was going?” Brian sighed wanting to strangle the other man. “Put me back through to Alice.” He ordered. 

“Yeah, good bye and a nice weekend to you too Brian.” The line was filled with music for a moment before Brian heard Alice’s voice once more.

“Was there something else Mr. Kinney?” Alice asked, a little shaken. Mr. Kinney always made her nervous. He was very handsome, even if he wasn’t interested in women, it still didn’t make Alice less nervous around him. Mr. Taylor was handsome too, but he wasn’t as imposing. 

“Tell me what happened before Mr. Taylor left?” He asked pulling out of the garage, heading for the loft. Maybe Justin had a migraine and had just headed home for his meds and some sleep. 

“Well everything seemed okay. He was a little upset about a package that was waiting for him his morning.” She offered. 

“A package?” Brian asked his heart suddenly in the throat. 

“Yeah, it was a white box that was just sitting on my desk this morning. I assumed it was for him so I gave it to him.” She explained. “He asked me a few questions about it.” Brian thought about their phone conversation that morning. Justin must have wanted to tell him about the package. Brian pulled over so he could concentrate on what Alice had to say. 


“Did he open it?” Brian asked rubbing his hand over his face trying to clear his head. 

“I don’t know.” Alice admitted. 

“Could you go see?” Brian asked his tone far more abrupt than he had wanted. 

“I guess I could.” She replied clearly offended. 

“Alice, I’m sorry. I’m worried about Justin. Someone has been sending him things that are disturbing.” Brian explained. 

“Oh.” Her voice was full of concern. “I’ll go see, hold on.” Brian counted the seconds as he watched minutes change on the digital display in his jeep. Two minutes later she returned. 

“It was a scarf.” She reported sounding confused. “It’s a beautiful white silk scarf.” Brian felt his mouth go dry. “There was a card too.”

“What did it say?” Brian asked, his tongue suddenly feeling too big for his mouth. 

“It says, Remember me?” She stated. Brian closed his eyes not really listening to anything else as he realized what Justin’s mission would have been after receiving the scarf. He heard Alice mumble something that cut through his own inner thoughts. 

“Alice what did you just say?” He asked clearing his throat. 

“It’s the same writing as the other card I have in my desk.” She stated. 

“What card?” Brian asked. 

“The one from the flowers.” Brian thought back, then remembered the blue weeds someone had sent. 

“Hold on to the cards. I’ll have a detective from the Pittsburgh police come by and pick them up from you. His name will be Horvath.” Alice felt nervous just thinking about it. 

“Mr. Kinney, do you think Mr. Taylor is okay?” She asked. She really liked working for Justin Taylor. He was nice and funny. He was understanding and really cared about her desire to move up in the world. He was a good father and everyone loved working with him, especially Mr. Collins. 

“I don’t know Alice. I don’t know.” Brian replied hastily. “But I think I know where he went. I’ll be in touch.” He hung up and managed a u-turn in the middle of the busy street. He was ten blocks away and more than likely an hour too late.