Endings and Beginnings - Book 4 
Chapter 6 


Justin awoke and was surprised to find he was alone in his bed. He rubbed the back of his head grateful that the final traces of the migraine had disappeared. He was just about to push out of bed when he realized he was hearing voices. They were the soft voices of his son and his lover conversing intently about something. Justin smiled as he reached for his t-shirt and jeans. Slipping them on, he walked out into the hall pausing in the doorway to the living area. He leaned against the door frame watching Brian and Stephen cuddled up on the couch looking through a photo album. 


“Hey.” Brian glanced up at the sound of Justin’s voice. Stephen glanced over too but then returned to the pictures he was looking at. Justin moved closer finding a seat on the other side of Brian and curled his body around the tall brunet. 


“How long have you guys been up?” He asked yawning and laying his head momentarily against Brian’s shoulder. 


“Technically I don’t think he was ever down.” Brian replied. “He finished his talk with Mo.” 


“Mo!” Stephen repeated offering Justin the red over loved stuffed creature. Justin smiled, kissed the beloved Mo and returned it to his son. Brian smiled as he continued. 


“Stephen finished his talk with his little friend and then decided it was juice time.” 


“Juice.” Stephen offered Justin the cup that he had been sipping. 


“That’s okay baby. I’m fine. Thank you anyway.” Justin assured his son. 


“Welcome.” Stephen murmured absently returning his gaze to the book. “Pa” He stated pointing to the photo he’d been staring at. It was only then that Justin gave any notice to the book. He looked down to see that Stephen was pointing to a picture of Ethan standing in front of their shitty apartment building. Justin felt a bit of sadness penetrate his body like a draft. 


“Yep.” He quietly confirmed. “That’s your Papa.” He smiled at his son hoping the sadness didn’t show. He didn’t want Stephen to think he had to be sad when he talked about Ethan. 


“Pa Pway.” He pointed to one of Ethan in mid concerto at a park performance. Justin stared for a long moment then nodded. 


“Yep Papa played in the park.” Justin fingered the image for a moment then caught himself and looked up at Brian with what Brian read to be a look of betrayal. 


Brian merely leaned forward kissing the top of Justin’s head. “It’s okay Sunshine.” Justin relaxed again. Things were just starting again between them. He felt almost afraid to breathe. He was so worried something was going to mess it all up again. 


“Park.” Stephen announced. Both men looked to see which photo he was talking about. They then realized this was a request. 


“Okay.” Justin agreed. “You want to go?” He asked Brian. 


“Yeah, let me see if I can get Gus too.” He offered. 


“Gus. Gus.” Stephen chanted as his father took him out of Brian’s arms and headed to his bedroom for a quick diaper change. 


Brian watched them go before returning the album to its place in the bookcase. He’d been surprised when Stephen had pointed to it. He’d thought it was a story book until he’d opened it. He wondered how much the little boy truly remembered of Ethan and how much of it was Justin’s tireless efforts to keep the man a part of his son’s life. 


“Lindz, Brian.” Brian greeted the woman. “How about letting Gus come play in the park with us.” 


“With us?” Lindsay smiled into the receiver. No way was Brian heading off to the park with Tyler. Lindsay took this as a positive sign that maybe Brian was starting to realize that his future was with Justin. 


“Yeah us.” Brian repeated not wanting to be grilled. He heard the woman’s soft laughter and wanted to hang up. 


“Sure.” She agreed. “Come grab him. I’ll have him ready.” Brian disconnected. 


“I’m going over to grab Gus. I’ll meet you at the park.” He yelled. 


“Okay.” Justin replied from the back of the house. Brian went out the front door and was half way down the steps before he thought about the lock. Turning back he locked the door then headed for his car. 


As he pulled away he failed to notice the other car two houses down and on the left. He didn’t see the driver scoot down in the seat to avoid being seen. He didn’t realize that the small sleek BMW looked out of place in the lower middle class neighborhood. All he was thinking about was his blondes, his son, and the park. 


************************************** 


“He’s staying with you?” Michael wailed incredulously. 


“Yes.” Emmett replied without hesitation as he headed past the brunet and into the apartment. Michael gave Ben a pleading look as he followed Emmett. Ben ignored him and kept moving, grateful that Emmett was along for the ride. 


Michael finally looked to Ted who was hanging back feeling very uncomfortable. 


“Hey Michael.” Ted stated awkwardly. “How’s it going?” He asked without thinking. 


“Peachy.” Michael spat. 


“Teddy, come grab a couple of boxes. You too, Michael.” Emmett chirped. 


“You’re out of your mind. I’m not helping him move out. I want him to stay.” Michael ranted. 


“But he isn’t and he needs your help so grab a box.” Emmett argued. 


“Ben?” Michael pleaded once more. 


“The small one on the table and maybe the one in the bathroom, those are smaller.” He offered. Michael felt crushed. He wasn’t sure how, but all of this had to be Justin’s fault. He just wasn’t sure how. If only the blond had stayed gone then things wouldn’t be like this. If only he would disappear now. Michael thought. 


“Well that’s it.” Ben announced. “I’ll drop off my half of this month’s rent.” He offered. 


“Ben, please don’t do this.” Michael begged. 


“Just grab those boxes will ya?” Ben finally yelled losing his patience with the man. Then taking a deep breath he started again. “Look Michael, I’ve made up my mind. This isn’t about some kid running away from home or a wife running home to her mother. I’m a grown man and I can’t stay with someone I don’t trust. I have to go.” He was firm and completely clear. Michael nodded miserably and suppressed his tears. He would not cry. 


Once the boxes were loaded the three men headed back to Emmett and Ted’s. As they were heading down their street Emmett poked Ted in the ribs. 


“Ouch.” Ted complained. “What did I do?” He asked. 


“Domestic bliss.” Emmett cooed as they passed Brian and Justin walking back from the park. Gus was perched on Brian’s shoulders while Justin pushed Stephen in the stroller. 


“Don’t let him hear you say that.” Ben looked out the back window and waved. 


“Was that Ben?” Justin asked. “In Ted’s car?” Brian nodded. 


“It looked like him.” The two men watched as the car traveled down a few houses then stopped. The three men began moving boxes into Ted and Emmett’s house. 


“Looks like trouble in paradise.” Justin mumbled concerned for Ben and sincerely not giving a shit about Michael. 


“It’s been a long day for Mikey.” Brian stated softly pulling Gus over his head and setting him down on the ground so that he could walk along side his father. 


Justin remained silent. Brian wondered if the blond would suddenly feel the need to confess to his confrontation with Michael. He found that he was both impressed and comforted by Justin’s silence. Justin wasn’t about to pile on or lay blame. Brian realized that Justin accepted that Michael was always going to be special to Brian but that the competition between the two men was officially over. Brian glanced over and wondered if Justin really knew that he had won. That in fact there had never been any competition except in Michael’s imagination, but that today Brian had made it clear that whether it was real or imaginary, it was over. 


“Justin—“ Brian breathed wondering how he would ever explain without having to lay himself bare once more. It had been so hard the first time on the steps of the school. Now it seemed easier to explain Newton’s law of motion than Brian’s law of emotion. 


“You know, I think maybe losing Ben might finally wake him up.” Justin voice held no malice or delight in the other man’s loss. “I just hope Ben will be okay. He really loved Michael.” 


“He still does.” Brian offered as he continued watching the men move boxes. 


“Yeah but sometimes that’s just not enough.” Brian glanced over at Justin wondering what he had meant. Feeling Brian’s eyes Justin continued. “He loved me Brian. Ethan really loved me, but I was really always in love with someone else. No matter how much he loved me, gave to me, tried to make it work,” He stopped pushing the stroller and turned to face Brian. “It wasn’t ever going to be enough. I would have hurt him in the end. One day I would have decided that it wasn’t enough, that life was too short, that it was never too late to go back and fix past mistakes.” 


“You think you would have come back to the Pitts and hung out under street lamps until I found you again.” Brian asked picking Gus up and swinging him from side to side. 


“Nope.” Justin smiled. “I would have marched into your office, told you, no…begged you to listen to me, and asked you for another chance.” 


“It wasn’t all you. We both contributed to the downfall of whatever the fuck it was we had then.” Brian turned taking Gus’s hand and continued on toward Justin’s house. Justin considered his words then pushed a sleeping Stephen up beside him. 


“What was it?” He asked. “I mean I use to lay awake at night and try to figure it out.” 


“You gave it more thought than me.” Brian confessed. “What did you finally decide?” 


“It depended.” Justin admitted feeling his face heat as he removed Stephen from the stroller and started up the front steps. He heard Brian collapse the stroller as he and Gus followed. 


“What does that mean?” Brian asked once they were all inside the house. Justin put Stephen down then brought Gus some juice before answering. He settled down on the other side of Gus watching the boy wearily lay his head back against his father. He would be asleep very soon. 


“Sometimes I would think about the bad stuff and then I would think it was just a sex thing. We were just—“ He mouthed the word ‘fuck’, “buddies.” Those were tough nights. Easier to be with Ethan though, I would feel grateful for days that he had rescued me from that. Brian furrowed his brow so Justin pressed on. 


“Then there were nights when I would remember you dancing with me at my first Pride, dropping me off at school, offering to pay for my school, and finally doing just that, all the meals and talks, and well just the sum of us and I would realize that we were lovers, not partners, but definitely involved, like Ben and Michael.” He reached out and brushed some hair out of Brian’s face. 


“There is no Ben and Michael.” Brian remarked. 


“So what, is that some sort of omen for us?” Justin asked. He glanced down finding Gus asleep against his father. He gestured to the boy and Brian lifted him and carried him to Justin’s bed where he covered him with a blanket. 


When he returned Justin was waiting for him, arms out, propped up in the corner of the couch. 


“We need to talk.” Brian offered not really wanting to just yet. 


“I know.” Justin admitted gesturing for Brian to come closer. Once he had settled in next to the man, he felt Justin’s arms around him, holding him. 


“What are we doing now?” Brian asked smiling in spite of some trepidation he was feeling. 


“It’s called cuddling. I’ve heard it called lesbianic but I find it extremely arousing.” He whispered into Brian’s neck tickling the skin there. Brian laughed softly in response. 


“I mean where do you want this to go?” He twisted in the blonde’s arms meeting his gaze trying his best to show Justin that he wasn’t afraid. In response the man who had always seen through him, had always been ‘on to him’ long before anyone else suspected that he had a heart, let him off the hook as he kissed Brian softly on the lips, asking for only what the man had to offer. 


“As far as it can take us.” 


********************************** 


The Diner was busy the next morning as Brian came in for his breakfast. He found Michael sitting in a different booth than where they usually sat glaring at Ben, Ted and Emmett who were in their usual spots. 


Brian smirked as he went past the other men and made his way down two to the booth to sit with Michael. 


“Morning.” He leaned over kissing Michael lightly on the head before stowing his brief case and coat. 


“Are we talking?” Michael grumped. 


“I am.” Brian motioned for some coffee. “And from what I just heard I can only assume that you are as well.” 


“He left me.” Michael leaned across the booth and whispered throwing a glare in Ben’s direction. 


“Yeah I know. I saw him moving into Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb’s house.” He stirred the sugar into his coffee. 


“What did he say?” Michael asked hoping Brian might have overheard something that could help. 


“I haven’t spoken to him. Justin and I were –“ Brian stopped talking when he noticed that Michael huffed up at the mere mention of Justin’s name. “ I thought I made it clear.” Brian toned brooked no argument. 


“So what are you married to him now?” Michael asked forking his waffle into his mouth. 


“No, I am not married to him, but I care about him and I expect you to not act like a total shit every time his name comes up.” Brian reached for his brief case. Michael’s arm shot out stopping him. 


“I’m sorry Brian. I’m really sorry.” Brian continued to grab his brief case as he shrugged off the man’s hand. 


“Michael there’s a reason you’re eating alone. It isn’t their problem.” He gestured to the other booth. “It’s yours.” He turned and left suddenly feeling the need to see Justin once more before this day started. 


*********************************** 


Justin had just gotten to his office when he heard a light rap on the door. Looking up there was a delivery man with a huge arrangement of blue forget-me-nots. 


“May I help you?” Justin asked moving around his desk. He wondered if Alice his assistant had a new boyfriend. 


“I’m looking for Justin Taylor.” The man offered glancing down at his invoice. “The woman at the front desk told me I’d find him up here.” 


“I’m Justin Taylor.” Justin confessed. The man handed him the bouquet. 


“I’ll need your signature.” He held out an invoice. 


“These are for me?” Justin asked confused. “Surely there’s a mistake.” The man shook his head as he watched Justin sign the slip. 


“Thanks.” The man stated briskly as he headed out the door. Justin stared at the flowers wondering who would have sent them to him. He had just located the card when he felt familiar arms around his waist. 


“Those are the ugliest weeds I’ve ever seen.” Brian whispered playfully against his ear. Justin laughed and pulled away. 


“Did you send me these weeds?” He asked as he held up the envelope that had been attached. Brian furrowed his brow. 


“I don’t do flowers.” He replied. 


“Well someone does.” Justin replied. Brian was curious as well as he watched Justin open the card. He felt a twinge of jealousy and was already planning on having a little talk with Max if he was the one behind the delivery. 


Justin pulled out the card and began reading the words. He furrowed his brow. 


“What does it say?” Brian asked as he moved up beside Justin taking the card from his hand. 


Scribbled on the card were the words: “Forget me?” 


“Weird.” Justin folded the card and tossed it into the trash. He threw in the flowers as well. 


“That is weird. Looks like you have an admirer. I wonder if Max is –“ 


“If Max is what?” Max asked as he entered the office. Brian gave the man a smarmy smile. “I wonder if Max is sending you flowers in order to try to get you into the sack.” 


“Don’t be crude Brian.” Max warned. “Justin and I are professionals. I know the score now.” He glanced at Justin and realized how uncomfortable the blond was in his presence. Maybe this wasn’t going to work out after all. 


“You just remember the score.” Brian warned. He then made a point of thoroughly exploring Justin’s mouth before turning to go. “I have a lunch date with a client but I’ll be home early.” He whispered catching Justin slightly off guard. 


“So you’ve moved in together?” Max asked obviously surprised. 


“Max I think it would be best if at least for the time being we kept our conversations limited to the Center.” Justin offered. Max nodded feeling the loss of Justin’s friendship cutting through him. How could he have so willingly sacrificed something he had come to need so much? 


“Whatever makes it possible for you to stay here.” Max conceded. “I don’t want to lose you.” Max stated then noticed the way Justin’s posture stiffened. He quickly added. “As a member of our team here at the Center.” Justin relaxed a bit but only a very small amount. 


“I have the budget figures and the enrollment chart.” Justin passed it to the man and Max accepted the documents. He glanced at them and as usual was impressed by Justin’s work. 


He offered the blonde one last smile before leaving the office. As soon as the man was gone, Justin buzzed Alice. 


“Need something?” She asked. 


“Yeah, I hate to bother you with this but could you switch trash cans with me. These flowers are starting to make my allergies go nuts.” Alice nodded happily and picked up Justin’s trash can and carried it to her desk where she exchanged it with her own. Looking down at the discarded flowers she picked them up and then placed them in a vase she found in a nearby cabinet. Glancing back down into the can to make sure that she had them all she noticed the small floral gift card. 


She read the words finding them romantic and placed the card in her desk. Fat chance her cheapskate boyfriend would ever send her flowers, but maybe a little jealousy might be the right motivation. After all he was picking her up for lunch today. She started thinking of way she could manage to accidentally show him the card as well. 


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