Endings and Beginnings - Book 4 
Chapter 2 


Brian felt the body shift next to his and instinctively tightened his grip. 


“Tyler?” He mumbled not quiet awake. 


“No.” The voice told him immediately of his mistake. Brian fought the urge to wince as he slowly opened his eyes and now found himself staring into Justin’s baby blues. 


“Sorry.” He offered. Justin shook his head slightly dismissing Brian’s concern. 


“Is he living with you?” Justin asked catching Brian off guard. 


“Off and on.” Brian admitted feeling the need to pull away from the man when he was discussing Mayhan. 


“So—“ Justin wanted to ask, but knew it was mistake. 


“So?” Brian raised his eyebrows as he stared intently at the younger man. 


“So—“ Justin began again but then thought better of it. “Thanks for helping me last night.” 


“No problem. “ It was Brian’s turn to dismiss someone’s concerns. 


“Man, it was terrible. It just came out of nowhere.” 


“Like a bat to the head.” Brian replied then immediately regretted it. 


“Yeah something like that.” Justin stated softly. 


“I don’t know where that came from.” Brian explained. “I just feel—“ 


“Wait, was that an admission?” Justin glanced up a small teasing smile on his lips. 


“Yeah. I feel sometimes.” Brian accepted the barb then stood and started dressing. 


“So these times when you feel,” Justin continued, “you feel….happy? sad?” He moved to the edge of the bed rubbing the back of his neck where the pain still lingered. 


“Frustrated.” Brian admitted buttoning his shirt. 


“About what?” Justin asked looking around for his clothes as well. 


“That you still have to deal with this shit while Hobbs is out living his fucking life like it never happened.” Brian huffed. Justin was surprised by the amount of anger and outrage Brian still seemed to have over the bashing. “Don’t you ever just feel pissed?” Brian asked as sat back down on the bed to slip on his boots. 


Justin considered his words for a long moment. He did feel angry sometimes but not like he did at first. At first he’d felt angry but also somehow responsible. It was as if he had been asking for it. He’d blamed himself for the hand job in the equipment shed over and over again. Why had he been so stupid? How could he have believed that Hobbs was gay? Why didn’t he just leave it alone after that, lay low, just survive and get out alive? Why did he feel the need to ‘call attention to himself’ as his father had accused trying to champion gay rights in a conservative private high school? 


“Justin?” Brian’s voice startled him. 


“Hm?” Justin asked trying to remember what the question had been. 


“Don’t you?” Justin remembered, shocking Brian with his response. 


“No, I don’t feel that way. I really haven’t since shortly after it happened. No one really wanted to talk about it. Everyone kept reminding me of how lucky I’d been to survive. It felt lame to stay mad about it, to dwell on it.” He started to get up but found himself a little unsteady on his feet. 


“Whoa.” Brian stood quickly and supported him with his hands. “Easy there. I think the shot is still working.” Justin nodded then laid back down, relieved that the dizziness passed. 


Brian considered Justin’s thoughts about the bashing. He felt guilty knowing that he had been one of the main ones who had encouraged the young man time and again not to dwell on it, to not think about it, to move on. It had been as much about self preservation as anything else. It had hurt so much to watch Justin try to make sense out of it. It had been so frustrating to watch him try to regain the use of his hand, to struggle to remember all those days he had lost, to hope that he would suddenly remember their ridiculously romantic moment. Brian had practically begged Justin to drop it. He couldn’t live through it over and over again so he’d walked away from the memory and pulled Justin away as well. 


“About the song—“ Brian began, not sure what to say. 


“The song?” Justin asked sitting up as he gave Brian a quizzical look. 


“Yeah.” Brian offered again hoping he could find the words. “The one you wake up with.” He looked into Justin’s eyes. Justin raised his brows. “Max told me and Dr. Stewart about last Friday, the song,the dance and the—“ 


“Panic attack.” Brian nodded. “I already told you—“ 


“You didn’t tell me about the song.” Brian continued. Justin remained quiet wondering what the man knew about it. Brian hesitated as his own mind journeyed back to a dance floor, a hard lean body beneath his hand, bright eyes and sunshine smile both overjoyed and stunned that they were actually dancing. 


“Brian?” Justin asked moving closer to the man placing his hand on Brian’s shoulder. Brian smirked and Justin realized that his expression seemed more pained than amused. 


“Ridiculously romantic.” He muttered turning to meet Justin’s curious gaze. He watched as something flickered in those eyes. Justin’s expression slowly evolved as the spark grew. 


Justin had heard that before. He’d heard those words. They sounded so familiar. It was as if he’d heard them in a dream. At that very thought, he saw it in his mind’s eye. It was from a dream, his elusive dream. The one he could never touch once he woke, but here he was not only touching it but seeing it played out before his eyes. Brian’s face near his, smiling the same soft smile that only came out when the mask was gone. “Even if it was ridiculously romantic.” Justin repeated the words he was hearing in his mind. Then Brian had leaned in, paused making sure that Justin saw in his eyes what he wasn’t able to voice, then they kissed. 


Justin smiled. “You said that.” Brian rolled his lips into his mouth, then nodded solemnly. “You said that.” Justin repeated amazed that he was remembering. He looked back up from the comforter and smiled at the older man. “And so much more.” He confirmed. Once again Brian nodded, the movement so slight it might have been missed by anyone else, but Justin always saw what everyone else missed when it came to Brian Kinney. 


Justin leaned in bringing their foreheads together. They sat like that for a long moment as Brian allowed the relief that Justin finally remembered flood through him. He’d never known how much he had needed Justin to remember, to see and to understand what that night had meant. Justin smiled then sighed pulling the man’s lips to his own. Just as they were about to meet, he pulled back slightly mimicking the kiss Brian had given him that night in the garage. Brian smiled just as Justin had. In that moment a thousand promises were made and then sealed with a kiss. 


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“I told you I have nothing to say.” Michael threw his cereal bowl into the sink and stormed out of the kitchen. “I have to get to the store.” He announced. Ben stood, his head lowered, hands on his hips trying to figure out what else to try. He knew that the man was lying. He just needed someway to prove it. 


“Ben, look—“ Michael came back into the living room now wearing his coat. “Justin has already screwed up Brian’s life. Let’s keep him out of ours okay?” He tried to kiss the man goodbye but was surprised when Ben pulled away. “Fine.” He spat then headed for the door. 


Ben stood for a moment longer before deciding on his next move. Grabbing his briefcase he quickly decided to take a side trip on his way in to his office. He suddenly had some business at the GLC. 


************************************ 


“So how many people are you expecting?” Emmett motioned for Vic to come in as he continued to jot down notes. “And semi-formal with a buffet and the theme is spring.” He confirmed. “Yeah I got it. I’ll be in touch as soon as I can get an estimate and tentative plan together.” He gave Vic a victory sign as he ended the conversation. 


Vic settled Stephen down on the floor for a moment while he removed his jacket. 


“What was that all about?” He asked. Emmett moved to the floor cooing at the little boy and was rewarded with a big sloppy kiss. 


“Country Club.” Emmett batted his eyes like a good debutante. Vic whistled and smiled. 


“We’re hitting the big time now.” Emmett agreed then picked up the baby. 


“Is Justin not home?” He asked as he offered the baby a piece of toast. Stephen accepted it. 


“I wasn’t sure. Deb had the morning shift so she dropped me off here. I figured Ted would already be out and you would be up.” Vic explained. 


“I’ll call.” Emmett hit speed dial and was surprised to find a breathless Brian on the phone. “Just wondered if Justin was up.” Emmett inquired. 


“He’s up alright. Give us a half hour.” The phone was quickly disconnected. Emmett smiled as he replaced the receiver. 


“Well.” He gave the baby a tickle then eyed Vic. “Someone’s headache is much improved this morning.” Vic caught his intent and played along. It was nice to know something good had come from all the bad last night. 


“Really.” He shot back. 


“Oh yes.” Emmett looked at Stephen who was busy enjoying his toast while the man carried him back to Vic. “There are no headaches at the Taylor home today.” 


“Taywor.” Stephen announced. Emmett looked from Vic to the baby in surprise. 


“You have so many words now.” He squeezed the baby in excitement. 


“Em Em” Stephen replied. 


“I think he’s saying my name.” Emmett stared over at Vic almost on the verge of tears. Vic had to chuckle at the drama Emmett infused into the moment. 


“Yeah, I remember how special my first Vit was.” He replied. Stephen reached out offering his toast to the older man. Vic shook his head then told him to eat it himself. 


“I love babies.” Emmett announced. 


“Well you could have had this one last night when he wouldn’t stop crying.” Vic gave Stephen a stern look. Stephen grew serious until Vic laughed letting him know he was just kidding. 


“You love him.” Emmett handed him over. The older man made no denial of that fact. “Well I have work to do. I’ve got to head over to the Country Club.” He announced, “And if Brian and Justin would get their butts out of bed you could go with me.” He stared up at the clock. “How long has it been since I called?” He asked. 


“I’m not sure, but let’s head down there anyway. Stephen is missing his father and we have a job to do.” They headed down to Justin’s house to see what was up or hopefully by now, down. 


******************************** 


“Brian!” He cried out. It was like nothing else he had ever felt in his life. There was no one like Brian. The way he held him, kissed him, made love to him, it was always a storm of emotion and raw physicality. 


He felt the older man slump down on top of him making it difficult to breathe. 


“Brian.” He stated once more but this time it was more of a plea. 


“Sorry.” The man gasped as he rolled onto his side and off of the blond. 


“That was amazing.” Justin continued to catch his breath. 


“How’s your head?” Brian asked pulling the blond until Justin’s head was resting on his chest. 


“Just a little twinge now and then, but more than anything I just feel foggy.” Brian kissed the top of his head then ran his hand down Justin’s side until it was resting on his stomach. 


“It’s a little sticky.” He smirked. 


“Yeah, I noticed and cold.” Justin replied closing his eyes enjoying the buzz that only great sex offers. He felt Brian move away from him for a moment then felt a warm tongue lapping at his stomach. Justin opened his eyes and watched with rapt attention. 


“What?” Brian asked his eyebrows raised. 


“Nothing, don’t stop.” Justin quickly assured him pulling a laugh from the brunet. He was just running his tongue into Justin’s navel when they both heard the knock on the door. 


“Shit.” Brian hissed. “Can we ignore it?” He asked flicking his tongue out to fortify his argument. 


“No.” Justin’s eyes were locked on Brian’s tongue. “I don’t think so.” He offered sounding much weaker in his resolve. 


“Daddy.” Stephen’s voice broke the mood as Justin rolled his eyes and Brian sighed and moved toward his clothes once more. 


“I’m coming.” Justin yelled then winced. Brian noticed and placed a hand on Justin’s chest. 


“You stay. I’ll get him.” He headed for the door bare foot, top button of his jeans unbuttoned as well as missing his shirt. Opening the door he suddenly had a handful of Stephen Taylor-Gold. “Hey Sunny Boy.” He kissed the baby’s neck. 


“Bwi Bwi.” Stephen was so glad to see him. Brian never came to see them anymore. 


“I hope we aren’t interrupting.” Emmett glanced warily inside. 


“We were almost done.” Brian deadpanned then motioned for the two men to enter. 


“We can’t.” Vic announced. “We are on our way to the country club.” He handed Brian Stephen’s bag. Brian accepted it. 


“The country club? “ He eyed the men incredulously. 


“We have a party to plan out there.” Emmett explained. Brian nodded. 


“There’s the bus.” Vic announced. “We’ll grab Deb’s car from the diner and head over there.” Emmett gave the baby a hasty kiss then they both headed down the steps. 


Brian followed them out. “Thanks for keeping Stephen.” He hollered watching them hurry to the bus stop. A movement out of the corner of his eye caused him to look down the front walk. 


“Max.” He smugly greeted adjusting the baby as the man moved closer. Max noted Brian’s dress and realized that Justin must be feeling better. He felt a pain twist deep inside. Nothing had really changed since last night. He still wanted Justin, but Justin as always still wanted Brian. From the looks of the things, Justin had gotten what he’d wanted but Max would never know that feeling. 


“I need to talk to you and to Justin.” He stated softly. Brian noted his demurred mood and gestured for him to follow him inside. 


“Justin.” Brian called. “Stephen’s back and your boss is here also.” He added. 


“I’m going to go grab a shirt.” Brian stated passing Justin in the doorway and handing the baby off. 


“Max.” Justin greeted. He felt awkward and embarrassed. “I…ah.” He glanced in the direction that Brian had disappeared then back at Max. “I don’t know what to say.” He paused. “I’m sorry.” He offered sincerely. 


“Don’t be. It’s me that owes you and Brian an apology.” Max conceded. Justin furrowed his brow and was relieved to feel Brian’s hand resting on the small of his back. 


“What do you have to apologize for?” Brian asked. Max moved his eyes from Justin’s to Brian’s. 


“May I sit down?” He asked feeling suddenly as though he were carrying a great weight. 


Justin motioned toward the couch while Brian remained still and silent. Justin moved to the love seat placing Stephen on his knee. Brian stood behind the seat, his hand resting on Justin’s shoulder. 


“What’s up Max?” Justin asked bracing himself. The look on Max’s face made him wonder if he was about to be fired. 


“I don’t know what to say.” Max began staring down at his hands. “I can’t believe that I did this.” He sighed then glanced up then quickly schooled his gaze back to his hands. 


“Did what?” Justin encouraged him trying to ease the terrible wave of despair he felt coming from the man. Max met Justin’s eyes. 


“I just wanted you.” He admitted. “I wanted you more than anything—“ 


“Max.” Justin began but Max shook his head. 


“I know. I’ve always known. It was always there right in front of me.” He looked at Brian his deep brown leveled on warm hazel. Brian tightened his grip slightly on Justin’s shoulder then moved to sit on the arm of the seat keeping his hand in place. 


“So what did you do?” Justin asked wanting the waiting to end. 


“Well I saw that you would always want him.” He glanced up then back down at Justin, “And I thought if I could just have you to myself then you would see that I was better for you. I thought I would be better for you and for Stephen.” He quickly explained. 


“But?” Brian interrupted his tone moving toward lethal. 


“But I went too far. Someone offered me a part in a plan that would keep Brian busy so that I could have that chance and I took it.” He confessed feeling a great weight lifted from his chest. The weight quickly returned under the impact of two blue eyes filled with betrayal. 


“You conspired against Brian and me?” He asked his voice soft with dismay. 


“You were already apart. It was right after we got back from Toronto.” Max rushed out hoping to undo the damage he’d inflicted knowing it was far too late to take anything back. 


“Who?” Brian’s voice was hard and angry. Max looked up wondering if Brian would believe him. Michael was his best friend after all. He glanced at Justin and held the blonde’s gaze as he spoke the man’s name. 


“Michael.” He stated with soft certainty. 


“Bullshit!” Brian roared coming off of the loveseat and approaching the couch. “You’re lying.” 


“I’m not Brian.” Max got to his feet so that could look the man in the eye. “Michael arranged for Tyler to suddenly be available. Tyler was of course more than willing, but it was all Michael.” Brian’s mind raced as he tried to comprehend what it was that Max was telling him. 


“There is no way Michael could have pulled that off. He didn’t even know Tyler.” He defended his best friend. 


“He heard a message that the man left on your machine. He’s also had Tyler erasing the messages that you left for Brian over the last few weeks.” Max cast his eyes at Justin and noticed that unlike Kinney, Justin seemed more than willing to accept the Michael’s involvement. 


Brian took a couple of steps away. It made sense. He hadn’t gotten any of Justin’s messages. Maybe Tyler had deleted them but that didn’t mean that Michael was behind any of this. 


“He’s my friend. Why would do this?” Brian demanded. 


“He hates me.” Justin stated causing Brian to wheel around in order to face him. “He’s always hated me. Since the first night that we met and you took me home, he’s wanted me gone. Well he almost got his way. Mikey almost got his wish.” Justin stood and took his now napping son back to his crib. 


“It’s true Brian.” Max stated sadly. “He has said some deplorable things about Justin. He wants him gone and out of your life. He thinks he’s protecting you.” Brian didn’t want to hear anymore of this. It was starting to sound vaguely plausible and the thought of Mikey conspiring against him was too much for the man to bear. 


“Get out.” Brian spat pointing to the door. 


“Brian—“ Max started but Brian suddenly stepped forward pushing the man violently toward the door. Max allowed it. He deserved this treatment after what he had done. 


“If you don’t believe me,” Max started as he opened the door. “Ask Tyler.” He closed the door behind him. Brian paced to the window then back trying to understand what Max had just insinuated. He didn’t hear Justin enter the room. 


“Brian, what are we going to do?” He asked rubbing the back of his neck feeling the headache building once more. 


“We aren’t going to do anything.” He replied still deep in denial. “I’m going to talk to Tyler. I also need to run by the office. I called in sick but I have an important meeting tomorrow. I need to make sure everything is in place.” He offered refusing to look at the blond standing behind him. He reached for his jacket and headed toward the door. 


Justin stood watching Brian as he prepared to leave. Only an hour before they’d been in bed and now he was walking away. 


“Brian don’t do this.” Justin’s voice caught him at the door. “Don’t walk out on us.” 


“You’re right Sunshine. That’s always been your job.” 


Justin let it go. He watched as Brian stalked out of his house. He pushed the man’s words aside. He knew Brian wasn’t really attacking him. He was hurting. He was wrestling with the idea of Michael, his best friend, the one person he had grown up counting on, betraying him. 


Justin made his way back to the bedroom. He was still feeling weak from the migraine. He needed to lie down. He needed to think. Brian might let Michael off the hook but Justin knew that he couldn’t. The man had sold Justin out once before. It was time that Michael learned once and for all who he was dealing with. 


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