Endings and Beginnings - Book 2 Chapter 11 Michael waited patiently for Brian to show up at the bar. He slowly sipped his beer as he considered for the hundredth time what approach he needed to take in order to convince his friend that he needed to protect himself. There had been an obvious change in Brian since Justin had returned to the Pitts. Michael was grateful for that, but had no intention of ever watching his friend live through the personal hell he had endured the first time the blonde had dumped him and moved on. Michael could still remember the drug and drunken calls he had received night after night as Brian buried himself in various forms of pain management in a feeble attempt to forget Justin. It, of course, hadn’t really worked and in time Brian had wised up more than anything else for the sake of his son. It was then that he had shifted gears in his vehicle of denial. The second year the weapon of choice had become work. Michael hadn’t seen Brian much during the second year. By this time Justin had finally taken his advice and disappeared, the ad man was all but invisible to his friends. Brian had spent a lot of time traveling and when he wasn’t off in some distant conference room he was in his office setting up the next client meeting. Now almost three and a half years after Justin had walked away Michael refused to stand by and let history repeat itself. He had tried to discourage Brian the first time. The man hadn’t listened to his best friend; he’d ignored him and even denied having any feelings for the twink, but not this time. This time Brian was going to listen. Michael was determined to protect his friend at all costs. “Do you need a nipple on that bottle?” Brian teased. He had been watching his friend for the last few minutes nursing his beer and staring off into space. Brian fortified himself for whatever good intentions he was about to endure as he motioned for the bartender to bring him a shot of JB. After all there was only so much fortifying that any man could manage alone. Some endurance came in chemical form. “You’re late.” Michael stated ignoring his friend’s barb. “Maybe I’m pregnant.” Brian was determined to keep it light. He had a feeling he knew what this meeting was about and was determined to keep his family out of his relationship with Justin and that included his best friend as well. “Would it be Justin’s?” Michael asked bitterness bleeding through. “Where’s the professor?” Brian asked refusing to take the bait. “He’s at home.” Michael answered absently then pressed on. He knew what Brian was doing and it wasn’t going to work. “I want to talk to you about Justin.” Brian rolled his eyes then leveled his gaze on his friend. Michael shifted uneasily finding Brian’s expression unreadable. “I know it’s none of my business.” He continued defensively. “Let’s leave it at that. Want to grab a table and shoot a quick game?” Brian asked glancing around the room. “No, I won’t leave it that way and maybe later on the table. We need to talk or more importantly you need to listen.” He placed his beer on the bar then crossed his arms over this chest. “Mikey.” Brian warned. “I appreciate your concern but stay out of it.” “How can you ask me to do that?” Michael asked his voice rising. “Because it doesn’t concern you.” Brian down his shot and motioned for another. “It does concern me. You concern me. Not to mention the fact that the last time, after Justin ran off with his fiddler, it was me that you were calling at all hours of the day and night.” He declared. “I thought you liked me calling you day and night.” Brian leaned in seductively. Michael smiled in spite of himself and pushed the man away. “I don’t remember hearing any complaints.” “It wasn’t me. Ben had a fit. Besides this method of distraction won’t work.” He laughed. Brian knew that it had despite what his friend might say. “So let’s grab a table.” Brian stood and started for the back of the bar. He felt Michael’s hand on his arm. “I don’t want him to hurt you again.” Michael stated sincerely. Brian shook his head then sighed. “He didn’t hurt me.” He denied. “He did.” Michael insisted. “There was more to it than you know. I told you that.” Brian hated to bring up the rant he’s performed at the Diner months before, but it was easier than confessing the facts again. “Doesn’t change the fact that you trusted him and he screwed around on you and then left. After all you had done for him, he left.” Michael declared angrily. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to completely forgive Justin for that. “Michael—“ “No. I think this is a mistake. I think getting involved with him again is a mistake. I think you should avoid him. Remember what you said when I was first considering a relationship with Ben. You told me to fuck it but don’t fall in love with it.” Michael’s eyes darted away until he had finished speaking. “If you’re trying to make a point you need to get better at this. You’re not making a case. You didn’t listen to me and you’re still with the professor. Besides Justin and I aren’t together.” Brian stated firmly. He was growing tired of this and wanted his friend to drop it. “That’s what you said the last time.” Michael argued. Brian refused to discuss his history with Justin any further. Michael had never understood it from the start. He’d always resented the blonde. Brian knew that Michael would probably always struggle with his unresolved feelings. Even though Michael had managed to convert those feelings into some strange hovering over protectiveness towards Brian, they were still destructive causing tension in their friendship and in Brian’s relationship with Justin. “Michael, I know you’re just looking out for me like Zephyr would look out for Rage, but I’m not Rage anymore so back the fuck off.” He stated his voice grave with conviction. Michael furrowed his brow. He’d seen Brian pissed off before but there was something more ominous about the man now. “He’s going to hurt you.” Michael replied with an arrogant confidence. “You sound like you’re almost looking forward to it.” Brian replied returning the bar. He threw a couple of dollars down for a tip turned and left. It was the most effective way of saying ‘end of conversation.’ *************************** The week passed quickly for everyone. Justin was thrilled when he learned that the board had approved not just one but two new art instructors. Brian had managed to nail the plans for the Texfield Petroleum campaign as well as its CEO. The plans for the pounding party had come together. Melanie and Lindsay had insisted on having it at their house. They had called and invited Justin and Stephen over for dinner Friday night. Everyone was to arrive at 6:00 sharp with Justin and Stephen arriving thirty minutes later. By six fifteen everyone had arrived except for the guests of honor and Brian. Melanie and Lindsay were circulating around the living area and dining room trying to make everyone feel welcome. Michael and Ben were whispering quietly in a corner when Ted and Emmett found them. “What’s the big secret?” Emmett joked sneaking up behind them. Michael pulled away from his boyfriend and quickly replied. “We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you.” Ben gave Michael a questioning look. They’d been revisiting for the umpteenth time Michael and Brian’s conversation at Woody’s. Michael had heard some rumors before he left that night about Justin and another man. Ben had no idea why Michael was acting so secretively. “Then keep your secrets and get me a drink.” Ted snipped winking at the two men and heading to the table. “Why didn’t you tell them?” He asked once the men were out of earshot. “Emmett is a major Justin supporter. He’d run to Justin before I could find out what happened and tell Brian.” Michael whispered harshly. Ben furrowed his brow in disbelief. “I can’t believe you are going to make the same mistake again.” He sighed. “It wasn’t a mistake.” Michael defended. “He’s my—“ “Best friend. Yes, I know.” Ben moved away from Michael and headed over to where Ted and Emmett were laughing by the table. Deb, Jennifer and Vic were sitting on the couch excitedly discussing Vic and Emmett’s new idea to launch their own party planning business. Vic had provided most of the food for the pounding and had with Jennifer and Deb’s encouragement agreed to cater an upcoming realtor’s reception. Gus was excitedly running around the house. He hadn’t seen Stephen in weeks and was desperately missing his friend. He posted himself in the window waiting impatiently for any sign of Stephen. “He’s here.” He yelled causing the room to go silent as everyone ready themselves to spring out and yell surprise. Gus turned to see why everyone had stopped talking. “Not Stephen, Daddy. Daddy’s here.” He announced. There was muffled laughter as the front door opened and Brian walked in. “We thought you were Justin.” Melanie quipped but before Brian could respond his son launched himself into the man’s arms. “Sonny Boy.” He kissed him and hugged him tightly. He looked around the room taking in all of the faces. He froze for a second as he noticed Max Collins standing next to Lindsay. Max smiled and Brian returned a smirk. Gus had returned to his post and a few moments later announced the arrival of the guests of honor. Everyone once again assumed their party positions with Brian making his way over to where Michael was standing. Lindsay met Justin at the door. “Hey.” Justin kissed her. As Stephen immediately began calling for Gus. “I’m in here.” The little boy announced covering his mouth to keep from laughing. Justin and Stephen walked into the living room and were treated to an exuberant, “Surprise.” Justin seemed completely shocked where as Stephen was so startled that he immediately burst into tears. He wrapped his arms around Justin’s neck and buried his head. Justin smiled as he soothed him. “Oh no.” Lindsay said coming up behind him. “It’s just the noise it startled him. He’s okay. Just give him a second.” Justin continued to whisper to the little boy until Stephen finally pulled back to look into his Father’s eyes. He nodded in response to something Justin whispered. It was a mesmerizing scene so sweet and natural. Jennifer felt a swell of pride watching her son comforting her grandson. She watched as the tenderness of it touched everyone in the room. Gus finally broke the spell completely out of patience and ready to play. He reached up pulling Justin down until the man was squatting next to him. He started reaching for Stephen. Justin waited until Stephen started reaching back to let him go to the boy. “Lindsay, can you please put up the gate if they’re going upstairs.” Justin asked. She was already moving to do just that as she helped Gus get the younger boy upstairs and into his room. Justin turned to the room. “Okay you surprised me…what’s up? It’s not my birthday and it’s not quite Stephen’s.” He was smiling. “It’s a pounding.” Emmett announced rushing forward. Justin raised both of his eyebrows completely unfamiliar with what that meant. “It’s a southern tradition.” Emmett announced then turned dramatically to address the room as well. He loved the attention.” In the South when someone new comes to town or moves in we would give them a pounding to help fill up their cupboards with whatever they might need since no one packs their food.” Justin nodded remembering his first move with Ethan and how broke they had been. He smiled reminiscently and focused on Emmett who was finishing his thought. “But since you are actually setting up a new house we decided to expand that a bit and include any and all things for a new home.” Emmett ended. “Wow! I don’t know what to say.” He shook his head overwhelmed. “Don’t say anything just open your gifts then say thank you like a good little waspy boy.” Brian said moving up beside him Justin obeyed taking a seat beside his mother. It amazed him how everyone seemed to know what it was that he needed. He began eyeing his mother suspiciously. “Something tells me that my mother has been doing a bit of recon in my house this week.” The gang all laughed enjoying the ease of the mood and the occasion. Once the final gift was opened Melanie and Lindsay announced that everyone was to fill up on the food because they had no room to store it. Just as everyone was filing into the dining room Max made his way over to Justin. Brian was already standing beside the blonde his arms wrapped possessively around his narrow waist. “I’m going to give you a private pounding later.” Brian huskily whispered in the blonde’s ear. Justin smirked hoping his mother had not over heard Brian’s promise. Max refused to allow the other man’s physical casualness deter him. “I haven’t given you my gift Justin.” He announced loudly causing everyone to turn their attention back to the living room. “Yes, you have. You brought it Saturday.” Justin began causing Brian’s eyes to narrow. Max halted him looking to Lindsay for a moment before continuing. Brian noticed that she was beaming and wondered what the man had planned. He didn’t trust Max Collins. He wasn’t sure if it was just old fashion jealousy or intuition but he wanted the man far away from Justin. “This isn’t really a gift as much as it is a bonus for a job well done at the Center. The Board met this week and not only did they approve two additional art instructors to handle the growing course load at the GLC, but they also decided to send our Program Director back to PIFA in the Fall to complete his degree with a fully funded scholarship. It seems that you have some fans in the community who want to see you complete what you started.” He handed the envelope to Justin who was staring at the man his mouth falling open in shock. It took him a moment to react. “Oh, Justin.” Jennifer exclaimed moving over to face him as well. Justin stood staring at the envelope in his hand then back up at Max. His friends all exchanged joyful looks. “Max, I honestly don’t know what to say. I mean I don't even know if I can get admitted again not to mention trying to work it around all my other responsibilities.” He stammered more thinking aloud. "Of course you can." Lindsay began moving into the center of the room. "The Chairman of the Board asked me to check about your admission status. The dean of admissions remembered you very well and in fact he all but guaranteed you a place for the Fall” Justin didn't know what to say. It was a dream come true. It was the dream he had turned his back on, walked away from, knowing that once lost he would never have another chance for it again. It was his biggest regret. Glancing over at Brian he realized it was really his second biggest regret. “Thank you.” He said softly. Max moved forward and hugged the man tightly making sure that his eyes met Brian’s as he held Justin a moment longer than seemed normal. “You can take how ever many courses you think that you can handle with your current work load. The Board is aware that, with a full time job and a child to care for, it will take you longer than the average artist to complete your degree. This is just the Board’s way of thanking you for the outstanding job you have done in launching our program in spite of the personal hardships that you have had to face the past few months.” He smiled at Justin. He wanted to kiss the other man. He found his gaze lingering on Justin’s mouth. He wanted to taste him once again. It had only been a week and already he felt consumed by his need to touch or taste of him. Brian watched the man’s actions with great interest and growing concern. Max wanted Justin, his lust was thinly masked. Everyone crowded back around the blonde giving him congratulatory hugs and pats on the back. Brian meanwhile slipped up beside Max who was watching from the doorway now. He had a smug look on his face. Brian wanted to slap it away. “I’m impressed. It was very creative of you to link his working under you with his education.” Brian spoke his voice low. “Well it was a strategy that worked for you. I figured why not try.” Max turned giving him a flash of a smile. “I’d hardly call what Justin did under me work.” He leered. “And you know it really didn’t work for me.” Brian considered his voice filled with malice. “He started fucking around on me not long after I started paying for his school.” “Well that wasn’t because you were paying for his school. From what I understand it was because you were an asshole who didn’t really give a shit about him and he knew it. Justin is worth so much more than to be treated as someone’s convenient fuck.” Max felt his temperature rising. He knew that Kinney would have something snide to say. He just wished the other man could say it and be done with it. “That’s something you’ll never know. You think your little scholarship program can get Justin into your bed?” He asked turning to face the man full on. “That’s not why I did this.” Max defended. “How dare you even assume—“ “Oh I’m not assuming. I saw the look on your face. I’m surprised you didn’t get down on your knees and suck him off right here.” Brian quipped a playful smile on his face. Max knew the game Brian was playing and he had no interest in joining in. “Don’t be ridiculous. Are you always this crude?” Max tried to walk past him but Brian held him in place with a glare. “Stay away from him. Do you understand? He isn’t going to be your lover, your fuck buddy or your boyfriend. He isn’t interested. “ Max noticed that Justin had pulled away from the other group of friends. He was within hearing range as he made his way up behind Brian. “Are you truly insinuating that I would use a scholarship to entice Justin into sleeping with me?” Max asked playing both innocent and wounded. “I’m saying you’ll do anything to get into his pants so if a scholarship will get you there why not?” Brian returned. “Brian I always thought that you believed in Justin’s talent. Just because you chose to use his education to get your sexual needs met doesn’t mean the rest of us have such base motives for wanting to see him reach his full potential.” Max’s tone had changed so suddenly. He no longer sounded defensive but as if he were championing the young man. Brian realized too late that he had been played. He turned to see Justin standing behind him. “How long have you been there?” He asked. “Long enough.” Justin replied. He turned to join the rest of their friends. When Brian turned back Max was smiling at him widely. “You don’t want to fuck with me Brian. I am better at this than you are. You’ll lose.” Max pushed past Brian hurrying to move up along side Justin placing his hand on the other man’s waist. ************************** It was late when the party finally broke up. Max and Brian were helping Justin load up his car. It was obvious to everyone that it wasn’t all going to fit. “Why don’t we put the rest of it in the mine and I’ll bring it over.” Brian offered. Justin had been very quiet for the remainder of the party and he wanted to have a chance to talk to him about what he had overheard. “That’s okay I can just make two trips.” Justin said surveying what remained in Mel and Lindsay’s living room. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Brian chided. “I’ll just follow you.” “Or I could bring the rest over in my pickup.” Max offered. The last thing Justin wanted was to get caught between these two men. He knew in his heart that Brian’s hadn’t paid for his education to keep him in his bed. He did wonder who had initiated the conversation. Justin had asked Brian to be respectful of his situation with Max and not antagonize the man. At the same time Justin did feel slightly suspicious of Max’s motives. Max had made it clear that he was waiting for Justin to work out his feeling for Brian so that they could have a chance to be together. Justin had no idea who to believe at the moment so he decided to just believe the best of both men and move on. His head was beginning to hurt as he watched Brian give Max another warning glare. Justin just wanted to get home, get Stephen to bed and then crash himself. “Really I don’t need either one of you to help me.” He turned to Melanie. “Do you mind if I come by tomorrow for the rest of this? I need to get Stephen to bed.” Melanie smiled. “Of course not, Sweetie. You come get it whenever you want.” Ignoring the other men as much as possible he headed up the stairs to retrieve his son. Max and Brian were left standing together in the living room. “So what the fuck is going on?” Melanie asked confronting the two men. Max sent her his best innocent look while Brian’s look told her where to go. Melanie hated to admit it but there was something more honest about Brian than Max. “Okay don’t tell me just realize that the last thing he needs is for the two of you to turn him into some sort of rope in a tug of war.” The sound of Justin’s feet of the stairs ended the conversation. He was talking with Lindsay who was following behind him. He kissed her at the foot of the stairs and thanked her once again before making his way over to Melanie to do the same. Stephen was practically falling asleep leaning against his Father’s chest. “Do you need some help with him?” Brian asked softly as Justin passed him. Justin looked at him for a moment then reached out and placed his hand on Brian’s arm. “I know. Don’t worry. I know. You don’t have to say anything.” Brian felt relieved and forced himself not to throw a smug look in Max’s direction. Justin turned back to Max. “I’ll be sending a formal note to the board to thank them, but I know that they acted on your request. I never thought I would ever be able to complete my degree. Thanks.” Max smiled softly at him. He knew that Justin was distancing himself from both men. As long as he was getting the same treatment as Kinney he was okay with it. Justin looked from one man to the other then down to his chest as his son yawned. He smiled feeling his steady hot little breath through his clothing. “Well we’re off.” He made for the door making it clear to both of his admirers that he had no desire to deal with their shit. Brian smirked. Justin had definitely grown up over the last three years. There had been no drama to his exit. He had just made a decision and maturely stuck to it. He turned back and found Max looking longingly after the blonde. “I’m going to tell you one more time to stay the fuck away from him.” Brian warned. Melanie was just returning from the kitchen. At the sound of Brian’s voice she paused, remaining out of sight in the dining area. “I’m not interested in what you want Brian. I am interested in what Justin wants.” He thought again about the kiss that they had shared at Woody’s. “You’ll hurt him again it is just a matter of time. I saw the way it hurt him to see you with that man at the bar the other night.” Max walked past Brian sniffing the air slightly with smug satisfaction. Brian reached out grabbing Max’s arm and held the man in place as he laughed amused by the man’s comments. Max turned pulled his arm free. “Yeah he was so hurt that he let me fuck him senseless that night.” Max expression turned speculative. “Right, Kinney.” He sighed. That makes so much sense.” He looked Brian over once with distain. “I know Justin would never have let you touch him after what he saw at Woody’s.” “You don’t know shit about Justin and even less about us. You could never understand how Justin and I work, greater minds than yours have tried and failed. You just stay the fuck away from him.” His tone warned. “I don’t think so. In fact I have to be close to Justin. I see him everyday at the Center. So while you are in your office selling panty liners to teenage girls, you can think about the fact that my office is merely down the hall from his. I am only a breath away.” He gave Brian one last smug look before leaving. Max was fuming as he walked to his car. Surely Brian had been lying. There was no way that Justin had allowed that man to touch him after the display at Woody’s. Justin had been so angry at Kinney. Yes, that had to be it. Brian was lying. Max chuckled as he remembered the look on Brian’s face when he had reminded him of his close proximity to Justin all day. Kinney was overstepping his boundaries threatening him like that. His mind raced as he pulled out into the street. Max knew that he needed some time alone with Justin, away from Kinney, so that he could see how perfect they would be together. He thought about an upcoming conference in Toronto. It was a week long excuse to escape with his Art Program Director. Pulling into his parking slot he was near bursting with excitement. The thought of having Justin all to himself for five whole days was very exciting. He would call Monday and book their reservations. He wouldn’t give him the chance to say no. Justin would go with him, after all he was the boss. ******************** Ted had received Emmett’s message and was waiting patiently at the restaurant. This was the same place where they had eaten the night that Emmett had suggested that they take their dry run at a marriage of some sorts. He nervously fiddled with his napkin. He truly cared for Emmett. He never wanted to see the man hurt, but now realized that might be exactly what he was about to do. He was about to crush his best friend. Emmett’s voice surprised him. He looked up seeing the man approach. They kissed cheeks as Emmett seated himself. He ordered a glass of wine then turned to Ted an expectant look on his face. “You seemed lost in thought.” He stated. Ted nodded looking for the courage to voice his earlier thoughts. “Well I guess you are wondering why I wanted you to meet me here.” Emmett stated nervously staring down at this plate then back up at Ted. “Well I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being curious.” Ted smiled. Emmett nodded trying to brighten his own mood but failing. Ted found himself growing concerned. “Are you ok? You aren’t sick or something, are you?” Ted asked reaching across the table and taking his friend’s hand. Emmett shook his head. “No, but I will be after we talk.” He took another sip of his wine. “Em?” He asked cautiously. “Teddy you know I love you. I have forever. You are my very best friend.” Emmett started taking another sip of his wine looking for more courage in his glass. “I would never hurt you. Well I know I have hurt you but I don’t want to ever hurt you again.” He stumbled. Ted nodded seriously. “You are an amazing, kind and caring man. You are generous to me and to your friends. You are intelligent, funny, and a great kisser.” Emmett smiled up from the table locking his eyes with Ted’s. “But you aren’t in love with me.” Ted finished. Emmett nodded his pain at the admission obvious. “It’s okay Em. I’m not in love with you either. We both knew that when we started this.” Ted admitted. “Yes, but I thought it might work anyway. I see now though it just isn’t fair. I don’t want to be your consolation prize and you deserve better than to be mine.” Ted smirked. He had never thought of himself that way before, but that was probably exactly what Emmett thought. “I don’t want to be a consolation prize.” Ted affirmed. “So now what?” He asked watching as the waiter approached. “I guess we go our separate ways.” Emmett admitted sadly. “I will start looking for a place to live.” He said softly picking up his menu for the first time. He flashed Ted a tentative smile testing the waters. Ted smiled back. It was okay. “Why don’t we just look for a two bedroom we can share ? You don’t have your place anymore and to be honest I’m sick of mine. We can be—“ “Roommates?” Emmett announced happily. Ted nodded. “That would be great. After all Michael is now with Ben and I hated living by myself. This way can still eat together, see each other, be a part of each other’s lives but not be--“ “romantically involved.” Ted finished gesturing for the waiter. “I’m starving.” He announced. “Me too.” Emmett announced his appetite returning now that he saw that everything was going to work out after all. He had had the courage to tell the truth and still managed to keep the man in his life. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Little did he know that Ted was just thinking the exact same thought. ********************** “What kind of conference?” Michael whined. “It’s a conference focusing on gay and lesbian issues. It is meant to enable community leaders to help better address the issues that our population faces as well as working to enhance the methods used to increase involvement and education. It is going to focus on avenues that can be explored in order to penetrate our population and draw them toward a common goal.” Ben was absently checking his palm concerning dates. “So what does that have to do with you?” He asked. “You aren’t teaching anything to do with that.” He stated. “But I am. My courses deal with culture and several of them deal with gay culture. I am curious to see what avenues that the conference would propose to better mobilize the gay community. It might be something that I could offer with the University’s approval of course.” His voice was patient but he was beginning to grow weary of Michael’s obvious displeasure with his desire to attend. “When is it?” Michael asked. “In a couple of weeks.” Ben said making some notes. “It starts on a Wednesday and ends at noon on Sunday. I will be home that night.” Michael moved up wrapping his arms around Ben. “Can I come?” He asked. “I mean I haven’t had a vacation in forever and the shop is really doing well.” Ben was surprised. “Are you serious?” He asked. “Yeah. I am. I wouldn’t want to go to the conference but I could stay in the hotel and hang out until you got done then we could do some fun things together.” He offered. “Sure.” Ben said looking at the conference brochure again. “In fact there isn’t anything Friday afternoon or Saturday that looks good to me. We could play on those two days. Would that work?” He asked leaning down to capture the smaller man’s mouth in a kiss. “Why don’t I just fly up for the weekend then?” Michael offered. “That would really be best.” Ben smiled at the suggestion. “Sounds great. I’ll book our flights.” He hugged Michael before heading to the phone to set up the reservations. ********************* “Justin, do you have a minute?” Max asked knocking on Justin’s door frame to get the other man’s attention. Justin looked up for the class schedule he had been working on for the next quarter. “Sure Boss. Come in.” He smiled. Max returned his smile and came in dropping the conference brochure on his desk as he did so. Justin picked it up and began looking through it. “It’s a conference the board would like for us to attend.” He stated casually. “Us?” Justin raised an eyebrow. “Why both of us?” He asked examining the brochure a little closer looking for some clue why the board would want to fork out the dough for both men to attend. “Not sure. There are a lot of interesting seminars that are being held at conflicting times. I guess they think with the program going so well that the GLC is perched to take off.” Justin nodded. “It’s in two weeks. Not much notice.” He said absently already wondering if his mother could take care of Stephen for him. He vaguely remembered something about a trip she and Molly were taking. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t sure it was going to include you.” Max leaned forward. “Is there a problem?” He asked his voice lined with concern. “No not really. I mean I have to figure out something for Stephen but that’s it.” Justin looked up and smiled to reassure his boss. He hoped he looked convincing. Inside he was feeling slightly panicked about leaving his son for six days. “Good. Well then I am going to have Sherry make our reservations. We will be staying at the Royal York. It is within walking distance of the conference center and has a package deal set up in association with the event. Ever been there?” He asked once he reached the door. Justin was still looking at the brochure. He shook his head absently. “You are going to love it. It’s a beautiful place.” Justin nodded not looking up. He didn’t like the idea of leaving Stephen. He knew one day he would have to but he’d hoped it wouldn’t happen for awhile yet. Once Max left, Justin picked up the phone. A quick glance at his planner confirmed that the conference did coincide with Molly and his Mother’s trip. He wondered if he should call Deb or Lindsay. Stephen would love to see Gus but Vic would love to keep Stephen. After a short debate he called Lindsay. She would know what to do. He was certain that there would be times while he was gone when Lindsay would need for Vic to watch Stephen anyway. Thirty minutes later everything was arranged. Stephen would be staying with Lindsay and Melanie, but would need to spend Friday over at Vic and Deb’s since Mel and Lindsay already had plans for a night out. Gus would be staying at the Novotny house as well so Stephen would have someone to entertain him. Justin picked up the picture of his son from his desk. He felt sad as he realized that he had so little time with his son these days. He really missed their afternoons together. He knew that once he started PIFA again it would be even harder to find time for them to be together. He found himself remembering the way it had felt when Ethan would come in from rehearsals in New York. He and Stephen would be playing in the floor. Ethan would come in, kiss Justin lightly on the lips, and then Stephen on the head. They would then all three just have some time together playing, laughing, and talking. Stephen did most of the laughing since he really couldn’t do any of the talking. Justin smiled fondly as the sweet memory caused a melancholy to settle around him. It was moments like this that he found himself missing his dead partner. He closed his eyes and could hear the man’s soft voice calling to him. Perhaps he was calling to ask where Justin had hidden this favorite sweater or if he had seen where the portable phone was, or maybe he was calling him to come to bed so that they could make love into the wee hours in the morning. Justin could hear him calling his name. It took him a moment to realize that the voice calling his name no longer sounded like Ethan’s. Opening his eyes he found Brian standing in his door. “Justin?” He asked sounding alarmed at the man’s lack of response. When Justin opened his eyes he could feel the moisture on his face and now realized he had been crying. He wiped his face impatiently and forced a smile. “Brian.” He tried to keep his tone up, but could hear it fall short. “Nice try.” Brian sarcastically replied moving to sit across from Justin in the chair that Max had just left. “I’m okay really. I just found out I have to leave Stephen for a few days and it made me start thinking of all those days I never had to leave him.” He took a deep breath. “I’m fine now.” He set the brochure aside and watched as Brian picked it up. “Toronto?” He asked. Justin nodded still trying to give a brave face. “Justin cut the shit okay? You don’t want to go but you have to. Doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be happy about it. I have to go lots of places I don’t want to, but it helps if you can just be honest with yourself about it.” Justin nodded he knew Brian was right. “Max and I have to go.” “Max?” Justin looked up meeting Brian’s gaze. “It’s just work.” He reassured Brian not at all sure why he felt like he had to say that. It wasn’t as if they were in a relationship. “Why both of you?” Brian asked pretending to be reading through the literature about the conference. “I am not really sure. He said something about the board wanting us both to go because of conflicting seminars.” Justin tried to sound convincing but honestly felt that the reasoning was flimsy at best. “I think that this is the same conference that Ben is going to as well.” Brian commented. He was relieved. He would have talk to Ben and get him to watch out for Justin while he was at the conference. He really had no doubt that Justin could handle everything but he didn’t trust Max Collins as far as he could throw him. “So what brings you here?” Justin asked. Brian looked up. “Lunch. I thought maybe you and Stephen might want to get out of here and go with me. I am eating with Gus today. It’s family and friend day at his school. Lindsay and I are the only ones who can make it. Melanie is in court. Thought maybe you guys might want to come as friends.” Justin smiled. “I’d love it. Let’s grab Stephen and head out.” Brian rose as he watched Justin drop everything for Gus. He knew Justin loved Gus but sometimes he forgot how much. They had been very close when the boy had been young. Lindsay and Melanie had always claimed that Justin was Gus’ favorite sitter. “Stephen will just flip.” Justin smiled up at him as they headed down the stairs. Brian had really sort of dreaded the entire school lunch event. He had never been very comfortable surrounded by all the other conventional families. He was always afraid that his presence would only make things harder for his son, but now he found himself looking forward to it. Once they snagged Stephen from the daycare they headed for Justin’s car. Brian carried Stephen who had gotten much more verbal even though it was still hard to understand a word the boy said. Brian tried to nod politely much to Justin’s amusement. As Brian secured the baby in his car seat he looked over and caught Justin staring at him. “What?” He asked a bit confused. “Nothing.” Justin smiled. “You’d hate what I was thinking.” “Probably, but will but go ahead.” He replied sarcastically taking his seat in the front. Justin turned the engine over and began pulling out of the parking lot. “Well?” Brian asked over Stephen’s enthusiastic chatter. Justin sighed. The last thing he wanted was to make Brian feel uncomfortable. He knew that Brian still probably remembered Justin’s stalking days even better than he did. Looking over he could see that the man wasn’t going to drop it. “I was just thinking how tame you look.” He looked over and did a double take. Brian shook his head and responded with mock insult. “Tame? Tame? You think I look tame?” He made an exaggerated survey of his suit and pulled down the visor mirror to check his hair. “Tame?” Justin was laughing now. “I like tame.” Justin offered. “Ward Cleaver is tame Justin. Mr. Rogers is tame. Brian Kinney is a fucking wild animal so get your eyes examined. In fact maybe I should drive.” He reached for the steering wheel. “Brian, don’t say that “f” word in front of Stephen.” Justin corrected looking in the rear view mirror at his son hoping the boy hadn’t just picked up a new word. “Did you just refer to it as the “f” word?” Brian asked. Justin didn’t respond. “And you call me tame.” Brian huffed looking out the window. Both men looked back to one another at the same moment and laughed. Things had definitely changed over the last few years. “Did you ever see us here, like this?” Justin asked. “Never.” Brian admitted staring straight ahead. Justin didn’t allow the hurt that he felt at the man’s words to show. He also refused to admit aloud that he had pictured them like this many times. He had hoped that they would be together, with a child, avoiding the “f” word and at least a bit more domesticated. Justin had wondered if Brian had ever shared this dream. He knew now sadly that the other man had not. Justin remembered his Mother’s words. He wasn’t the same man he had been three years ago. Maybe Brian didn’t really understand that he and Stephen were a package deal. Then again maybe he did, but he just wasn’t interested in that package.