Endings and Beginnings 

Chapter 17 

“The money is really adding up.” Ted announced as he sat down at his usual place at the diner giving Emmett a quick peck. Emmett smiled up at him. They were getting together later that evening to discuss moving in together once more for a trial marriage. Neither man had spilled the beans to any of their friends. They wanted to keep it all quiet until they were sure it was going to work. 


“How much?” Michael asked buttering his toast. 


“Well when I called in for the balance last night there was over four thousand and that doesn’t count of the ticket sale money. Lindsay and Deb are giving me the first deposit sometime today.” 


“That’s wonderful. Do you think it is enough?” Emmett asked looking hopefully at Ted. The other man grimaced sadly and shook his head. 


“When I spoke to Mel she was saying 20 to 25 thousand.” 


“Shit.” Michael sighed. “That bitch. I hope she loses and has to pay all those cost herself.” He put down his knife. 


Deb came over to warm up their cups. 


“Did you hear?” Michael asked her. “About the balance?” She looked hopefully at Ted. 


“Four thousand so far and we still haven’t made any ticket deposits.” She smiled then looked up and watched as Justin and Brian entered the Diner. 


“Oh my goodness. Look whose here for breakfast.” Deb stated. 


Brian walked in carrying Stephen with Justin coming up from behind. Deb rushed over reaching for the baby. Stephen recognized her and immediately smiled reaching back for her and hugging her tightly around her neck. 


“You are so much like your daddy. Yes you are. Isn’t he just the spitting image of our Sunshine? “She offered turning toward the boys at their booth. They all smiled at the baby as he stared over at them then immediately latched on to Deb’s earring. “Shit.” She spat as she struggled to keep the baby from pulling on the loop. 


Justin was there in a second easing it out of his son’s tight grip. Deb smiled at the baby and then at his father. She reached over giving him a kiss. “Hey baby how you holding up?” Justin smiled nodding as Stephen turned and launched himself into his Father’s arms. 


“He’s quite the acrobat.” Emmett noted. 


“He leaps without looking.” Brian stated as he brought the high chair over to the booth. 


“How are you holding up, Brian?” She asked. “I haven’t seen you in a day or two.” Brian began to respond but Deb continued undeterred. “Did you hear the good news?” She asked as Justin settled the baby in. 


“I can’t believe all that you’ve done for us. Thanks Deb. Thanks guys.” He glanced over at the group of men who seemed content to watch him wrestle his son into a highchair. 


“No problem Sunshine.” Deb smiled distracting the little boy with her order pad until Justin could get him seated. Once the battle was over Justin turned to regard the men again. 


“Terrible twos are coming early.” He explained. Deb arrived with Stephen’s cup filled with milk. Justin watched his son attack the cup before turning to the men at the table. “Guys I really don’t know what to say. You will never know how much it means to me that you are helping me keep my son. I don’t know how I will ever pay you back.” Emmett leaned over kissing Stephen on his cheek earning him an offer of some milk. 


“You don’t worry about that baby boy. We’re going to do whatever it takes to keep Stephen away from that wicked old witch.” Justin smiled at Emmett tears in his eyes as he watched his son offer Emmett his cup once more. He was such a charmer. 


“It’s no big deal.” Ted humbly replied watching Stephen as well. He had always liked Justin and admired his ability to put up with Brian’s bullshit. Looking at his son close up it was obvious that he was a happy, healthy, and loved child. It was right that Justin should keep him. He was a good parent. He felt his conviction and determination go up another level 


“That’s what friends are for.” Michael said hoping that Justin would understand that this time he wanted them to be friends. He hoped they could put their past problems aside. Justin regarded him for a moment before picking up Stephen’s bag from the floor. 


“Well actions speak louder than words. I’m lucky to have you all in my corner.” Justin stated as he pulled out a bib and tied it around his son’s neck. He felt Brian’s eyes on him the entire time. When he turned there was a soft admiring look on Brian’s face. He smiled at him then grabbed the menu. Glancing down then back up he seemed shocked. 


“It hasn’t changed a bit.” Everyone at the table laughed. Three years and nothing had changed. Looking over at Brian though Justin knew that his thoughts weren’t completely accurate. He felt the man’s hand on his leg under the table. It wasn’t demanding or sexual just a comforting presence, just a gentle reminder of his support. In many ways everything was changed and change wasn’t always a bad thing. 


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After taking Brian to get his car Justin headed over to Lindsay’s. He needed to thank her for rescheduling his interview as well as get her input on his portfolio. 


“I don’t know what to say.” Justin said over a cup of coffee. “I can’t believe all that you guys are doing for me, well for us that is.” He said looking down at his son on the floor. 


“Gusss?” Stephen asked looking from Lindsay to his father then back. 


“He’s at school baby.” Lindsay informed the little boy. Stephen turned back to his toys. He was having hard time understanding why his friend wasn’t around. Lindsay and Justin watched him for a moment. Lindsay finally couldn’t resist any longer. “Justin, why would Ethan’s sister do this?” Lindsay asked. “I just don’t understand it. From what I understood from both you and Ethan on our last visit, she had no interest in Stephen at all.” 


“You’re right. She never showed even the slightest interest. In fact Ethan even invited her to Stephen’s first birthday party but she didn’t show.” Justin shook his head. “I just don’t get it. It has to be the grief. I know I’ve been acting pretty psycho lately. Maybe she just feels alone with Ethan gone. It’s all I can figure.” 


“Nothing excuses how she attacked you over the phone though.” Lindsay stated still amazed that the woman had actually had the nerve to act so hatefully. 


“Well Brian went off on her as well.” Justin began. “I think Ethan must have told her things about Brian. He never spoke about him in front of me but I’m sure they spoke behind my back. Well Ethan never spoke of Brian that is unless we were having one of our many fights about him.” He handed Stephen another toy. 


“You two fought about Brian?” This was news to Lindsay. She’s only seen the happy side of Ethan and Justin’s relationship. Justin smirked sadly then nodded. 


“It was one of Ethan’s pet arguments. He’d put it away for awhile then bring it out, usually when he didn’t want me to bring up something he had done, and we’d have it out again over Brian and my unresolved feelings for him.” 


“So you have unresolved feelings?” Lindsay continued. Justin stared up at her as if she were crazy. 


“Duh.” He laughed. “I loved him so much. He was everything to me. All I wanted was him, but he didn’t love me like that, so I settled. Ethan knew the score. He knew I loved him as well but not like I loved Brian. Something was missing. We both felt it.” He grew quiet considering his own words. “We WERE happy.” He looked up once more meeting Lindsay’s warm comforting gaze. “But there wasn’t the same passion I guess. I don’t know it was just different.” 


“Does Brian know this?” She asked wondering how the man would react if he did. 


“Yeah. We talked. I tried to explain.” Justin reasoned. 


“So you think Ethan was jealous and made a point of running down Brian to his sister because he didn’t want to say them to you?” She offered. 


“Oh I’m sure he wanted to say them to me but if he did he knew I’d lose it. So I guess Rachel was a good place for him to vent. He and Rachel were close. She was always trying to run interference for him with their folks. She’s really nice. I just don’t understand why she’s being like this. It isn’t really like her.” He explained reaching for his son. Stephen settled into his Father’s lap and leaned his head back against his chest. It was getting to be nap time. 


“Is she married?” Lindsay asked smiling at Justin and then at Stephen. The resemblance was really remarkable. 


“No she has a boyfriend that she lives with. His name is Ken. I’ve met him a couple of times. Seems like a nice guy. Not a total homophobe but not a fan either.” He smiled kissing Stephen’s head. 


“Could you maybe talk to him?” Lindsay suggested. 


“Maybe.” Justin considered as he felt his son relaxing further into his arms. He’d be asleep in mere moments now. 


“Does he know Stephen?” She asked wondering if this was an angle that could help Justin keep his son. Justin shook his head and then frowned. 


“He’s seen him a couple of times. He’s never shown any interest in him. It’s almost as if he wants to believe he isn’t really Rachel’s son.” 


“That’s sort of odd don’t you think?” Lindsay pressed. “Then again some men are just like that. They want kids of their own.” Something in her words triggered a thought that Justin had yet to consider. He looked at his friend in alarm. 


“What if she wins and he becomes Stephen’s father?” He felt a wave of panic rise within him. “Oh shit Lindsay.” He felt tears come to his eyes. She watched him struggle. She moved wrapping her arm around his shoulder. He leaned his head against her. “What will he say about me, Lindsay? What will Stephen think of me? What if he hates me? What if he never knows how much I love him?” He pulled away with anguish in his eyes. 

“What if Stephen calls him dad.” He shook his head. “I’m so scared.” Looking down he saw his son sleeping peacefully in his arms. 


“I know. You have every right to be frightened. It’s a terrible thing you’re facing.” She tried to empathize. 


“I’m also tired. My emotions are all over the place.” Justin excused. 


“No, Justin you’re more than tired. You’re grieving with the added burden of having to get a life going for you and your son. I have no idea why it all has to be so hard. It shouldn’t be, but I guess just because one bad thing happens doesn’t make us immune to all the others. I just want you to know that you aren’t alone. We are here. Melanie and I will do whatever it takes to help you through this.” He nodded wiping his eyes. 


“I know. I swear I don’t know what I would do without all of you. You know Brian has been so good to me.” Justin said. “He came to New York and helped me move out and then he came all the way to upstate New York to get me the other night. He has been such a friend.” 


“He’s missed you Sweetie.” She said simply and Justin knew it was true. 


“I missed him too.” Stephen shifted in his sleep so Justin moved him to the mat Lindsay had laid out in the floor. Deciding to take advantage of the moments of peace, the two blondes moved to the table to get Justin’s portfolio in order. 


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After getting his portfolio in order with Lindsay, Justin and Stephen headed out to a nearby art store that he liked. He needed to see if they carried the paper he wanted for his resume. He was wandering down the aisles when he realized that he was being followed. He moved slowly down a few more aisles just to be certain. His stalker was a male, mid thirties, dark hair, medium build and the subtly of an elephant. He was use to being cruised. It happened all the time in New York but it hadn’t happened since Ethan had died. Something about knowing he was no longer involved with someone made him feel a bit more vulnerable. Justin was just about to confront the man when Stephen took it upon himself to handle the stranger. 


“Hi!” The little blonde chanted keeping his eyes locked on the man who had been behind them now for the last several moments. Justin pinned the man with suspicious eyes. He could now see that the man had dark eyes to match his dark hair. His eyes were so much like Ethan’s Justin found himself distracted for a moment as the man approached. He was smiling but Justin wasn’t. 


“Hello.” The man said extending his hand. Justin looked at him a bit suspiciously. 
”I was just admiring your baby. He’s very beautiful.” The man retracted his hand accepting that the blonde had no intentions of shaking it. 


“Thank you.” Justin said still sizing the man up. 


“He’s beautiful. Just like his father.” Max continued. He really wanted this man’s number. Justin rolled his eyes at the comment. He wasn’t sure he liked this man and he knew he didn’t like his son being used as a pick line. 


“How old is he?” Max continued stepping closer to Justin who was continuing to look for paper determined to ignore the man pursuing him. 


“Eighteen months.” Justin stated with a sigh. 


“How old are you?” Max leered slightly. Justin ignored the man’s question. Max decided to stick with the baby tactics. 


“What’s his name?” He asked. 


“What’s yours?” Justin asked wheeling around from the shelves to finally confront the man. The man smiled laughing a bit. Max realized maybe he was coming on a bit strong. He was definitely out of practice at picking up men. He just didn’t club much anymore. He was struck by Justin no nonsense attitude. It was obvious that he wasn’t just a pretty face. 


“I’m Max. Max Collins I work at the –“ 


“GLC?” Justin finished shocking the man a bit. He nodded curious. He sized the blonde up for a second wondering if they had hooked up before and he just didn’t recognize the other man. One look at Justin though and Max realized that there was no way he would have forgotten having the man in his bed. 


“I’m Justin Taylor and this is my son Stephen.” Max’s smile broadened. He felt his face flush red. He’d just cruised albeit unsuccessfully the man he was interviewing Thursday for the Art Director position. They shook hands. Justin seemed to realize the man’s embarrassment as he was also suffering from a mild amount himself. Justin tried to ease the awkwardness of the situation gracefully ignoring the fact that Max had been trying to find a way to hit on him. “I’m sorry I’ve been in New York and well it makes you a bit leery of others. “ Max nodded. “I’m not usually this rude.” Justin finished hoping he hadn’t just blown his chance for the job. He needed that job if he was going to keep custody of his son. 


“I was in New York for a summer seminar. I know what you mean. Can I lend you a hand?” He asked reaching for Stephen. Justin eyed him carefully waiting to see if Stephen wanted the man to take him or not. Stephen went to Max easily but quickly changed his mind and returned to his Father. Both men laughed at the fickle boy’s action. 


“I was a huge fan of your partners.” The man paused wondering if he should have kept his mouth closed. He noticed Justin wince a bit as if bracing for a blow. “I’m sorry for your loss.” Justin gave a small smile the same one he had been giving now for over two weeks. 


“So what brings you to the art store?” Max asked changing the subject. 


“I was actually looking for a specific paper I wanted for my resume.” He glanced at the samples in front of him not satisfied. ”I want to impress this prospective employer. Maybe you can help me pick it out.” He teased getting a smile out of Max. 


“I’d love to. I think it is on the next aisle. I’ve heard that steel grey or pastel blue usually impress prospective employers.” He teased back then let Justin and Stephen lead the way. 


Max was feeling a bit off his game. He hadn’t expected Justin to be so good looking. When he smiled it lit up the room. His son was adorable as well. As Max watched Justin round the corner he found himself wondering what the blonde had been like with Ethan Gold. Max had been a huge fan of Ethan Gold’s. He had even had a bit of a crush on the young violinist, attending his performances and listening endlessly to his music. He had always struck him as a man of great passion. He couldn’t imagine what that passion and Justin’s beauty must have been like together in bed. Well he could imagine and that was his problem. 


“It was very kind of you.” Max realized suddenly that Justin had just spoken to him. 


“I’m sorry.” Max shook his head. Justin repeated his question. 


“I said that it was very kind of you to reschedule my interview. “ Max just nodded then was struck by an inspiration. 


“Hey how about I buy you and Stephen some lunch and we do the interview today.” He offered. Justin waited. He had his portfolio but wondered how well he would be able to concentrate with Stephen along. “Unless you have other plans.” Max gave him an out. 


“I’m not sure I would interview well while caring for my son.” He offered trying not to offend Max. 


“I understand that. I promise not to hold it against you. Do you have your portfolio?” He asked. Justin nodded. He even had a copy of his resume. It just wasn’t on the paper that he wanted to use. “Well what do you say? I really enjoy informal interviews so much more.” Justin looked at Stephen then back to Max. “It really helps me get to know the person. We will be working closely together so it’s important that we both feel comfortable with each other.” Max explained. 


“We can give it a try.” Justin relented. He hoped he wasn’t making a mistake. He knew he was better in informal interview than formal ones so perhaps this would work to his advantage. They left the store having decided upon a restaurant that was only a couple of blocks away. 


Justin was relieved to see that Stephen was on his best behavior. He chalked it up to a nice long morning nap. Lunch went very well and Max seemed impressed with his work. They discussed the parameters of the grant the Center had received. Justin was very curious as to what sort of vision the board had for the future expansion of the art program, as well as, his role in determining that vision. 


By the time lunch had ended, Max was ready to either offer the man the job or take him to bed. Max realized that actually he was ready for both. He found Justin to be intelligent, considerate, talented, responsible, insightful and sexy as hell. How had Ethan Gold managed to keep this secret hidden away in the shadows? Justin naturally stood out against any background. Max hoped one day to be close enough to the man to find out the answer to that question. 


Justin shook Max’s hand one last time as he rose to leave. He left the man his resume but headed back to his car with his son and portfolio in hand. He felt excited and hopeful. He liked Max Collins. He was professional and yet seemed flexible and easy to get along with. Justin especially appreciated how understanding he had been about Justin’s apprehension about leaving Stephen during this difficult time and with the custody case coming up. Max had assured him that if he did get the job that allowances would be made for him and his son until their lives were more settled. 


Justin was also relieved that the man had immediately backed off in the art store once he had realized who Justin was. It was obvious that Max was professional and would keep their relationship on this level as well. Justin had to admit to himself that Max was attractive. His eyes were so much like Ethan’s it had been hard not to stare into them and imagine that they belonged to his lost partner. Feeling a lump rising in his throat, Justin dismissed those feelings quickly and focused on how well the interview had gone. 


Justin had almost made it to his car when his cell phone rang. 


“Justin.” Ted’s voice was a little difficult to hear until he and Stephen got into the car. 


“Hey, Ted. How are you? Is everything okay?” Justin asked. 


“I’d say so. I just wanted you to know that the bank received an anonymous donation of 25 thousand dollars today. It was delivered by a messenger service. Anyway that brings the total up to almost 30 now and we haven’t even had the dinner yet.” Justin was speechless. He hugged his son tighter as he managed to store his portfolio in the backseat. 


“Ted.” His voice was full of emotion making the other man’s day. “I’m overwhelmed and grateful. Thanks for letting me know. It’s so nice to have one less thing to worry about.” 


“No problem. It’s going to work out, Justin. I got to run.” Ted ended the call. 


Justin immediately dialed Brian’s cell phone. 


“Kinney.” 


“Yes, Mr. Kinney this is the messenger service and we just wanted to confirm that the the funds was delivered as per your request to the Liberty Bank with no problems whatsoever.” Brian was obviously distracted. Justin could hear what sounded like a meeting going on in the background. Justin disguised his voice but had tried to fool him in the past and failed. 


“Thank you.” Brian stated and was obviously about to hang up when Justin’s voice stopped him. 


“I knew it.” Justin said smiling as he said it. “You are so busted Mr. Moneybags.” Brian cringed at how easily he had blown his own cover. He was definitely losing it or else Justin was getting better at sleuthing. 


“You twat.” He said softly obviously not where he could speak freely. 


“You, well, I don’t know what to call you.” Justin admitted but then he had never known what to call Brian even years ago when they had been together. When he continued his voice was soft and full of emotion. ”Thank you Brian. I promise to pay you back.” 


“Don’t worry about that part of it. Just remember that bitch, Rachel, can’t know any of the money came from me.” Justin nodded even though he knew Brian couldn’t see him. 


“Hold on a second.” Justin held up the phone and mouthed for Stephen so say thank you. 


“Sanchew.” The little boy’s voice came over the phone warming Brian’s heart. “San chew Bi Bi.” He giggled as Justin kissed his cheek. 


“Thanks Bi Bi.” Justin added playfully. “I’ll let you go. You’re obviously in a meeting or you would have called me more names.” He smiled feeling as though a weight had been lifted. He wasn’t sure how much of it came from the fact that he was going to have the money to pay for the attorney or how much came from how easily he and Brian were communicating now. Their friendship was better than he had ever hoped. 


“You’re getting really good at this detective work.” Brian deadpanned. “But now I’ve stepped out of my meeting and can call you whatever I want.” 


“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you.” Justin paused hoping Brian had time for this. “I met Max Collins, the GLC guy, in the art store. “ Justin started. “He took me to lunch and I had my interview. I think it went really well.” 


“Great. We should celebrate.“ Brian suggested. 


“Let’s wait until we see if I get the job or not.” Justin suggested. 


“Nah let’s celebrate that the interview went well then we can also celebrate when you get the job.” Brian argued. Justin had definitely had enough reason to grieve lately. Brian was ready to jump at any good thing that came the man’s way. 


“Sounds good.” Justin admitted. “Call me when you get off.” Brian ended the call. 


“Things are looking up Stephen.” Justin beamed. 


“Wooking pup.” Stephen repeated with enthusiasm. 


Justin secured Stephen into his car seat and then pulled out of the parking lot. Max Collins continued to sit in his car watching as the blonde drove out of sight. Glancing down at the resume lying in the front passenger seat, Max smiled. He had a few calls to make when he got back to the office. The first was to Liberty Bank where he had learned earlier in the day that a defense fund had been established to help Justin maintain custody of his son. The second call was to inform the board members that the GLC had its new Art Program Director. 


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