Lost - 6 ***************************** “Is Deb’s gift a joke?” Justin asked eyeing the beautifully wrapped box that held three of the ugliest clown statues he ever laid eyes on. “No.” Brian chuckled as he continued down the road. Justin joined him enjoying Brian’s amusement. He had always loved the sound of Brian’s laughter. They laughed a lot together when they were alone in the loft. Out of the loft, Brian didn’t seem to laugh as much. He was too busy proving what an asshole he was. That thought sobered the blond as he pulled up quiet and looked out the window. “Vic will like his gift too. It was a good choice. I’m glad you found it.” Brian offered sensing the sudden shift in the younger man. Justin merely made an agreeable sound as he continued to stare out of the window lost in his thoughts. They pulled up in front of the house. Justin sighed then steeled himself for facing the family once more. He only hoped Deb didn’t throw any more diner lingo his way. He would hate to blow his own cover. “I’m going to go out with Mikey this afternoon. You’ll be okay here alone, right?” Brian asked as they retrieved the boxes from the back of the SUV. Justin gave Brian an incredulous look before nodding. He’d survived the streets of New York, surely three hours at someone’s winter condo could be managed. As they stepped up onto the porch the smell of lasagna was overshadowed only by the sound of the voices coming from within. Brian glanced at Justin as he realized what those voices, one in particular was saying, he noted Justin’s clenched jaw and fought not to give in to his anger. As he pushed open the door. ****************************** “What the hell is he doing here? He’s an ungrateful little thief. He still owes Brian all the money from the credit card he stole. I just don’t get why Brian would bother with him. Why would he bring him up here, that’s what I want to know.” Michael argued as he helped himself to another huge serving of lasagna. “I think it’s obvious.” Lindsay stated. “He’s been looking for him all these months, he found him and he wanted to spend some time with him.” “Like he gives a fuck.” Melanie spat. “He just didn’t want to be stuck here out in the middle of nowhere without a convenient fuck.” “Well if nothing else, Justin was that.” Ted replied good naturedly. “Just like a puppy. All Brian had to do was say ‘roll over’.” The sound of their laughter halted abruptly when the front door was closed. The sound of the front door shutting caused everyone to glance guiltily around the table as Brian and Justin entered. “Don’t let us interrupt you.” Brian stated sarcastically. “We didn’t see you.” Lindsay offered. “Obviously.” Brian’s eyes bore into hers. She hadn’t been a part of it but she hadn’t stopped it either. “Let me get you a plate.” Deb offered trying to relieve the tension. “No thanks.” Justin mumbled. “I’m not hungry.” He removed the other sack from Brian’s hand and headed upstairs without looking back. Deb watched him go then shifted her gaze to meet Brian’s. He too had been watching Justin’s retreat. He looked around the table for a long moment before moving to sit by his son. Sighing deeply he lowered himself into the chair. “How about you Brian?” Deb offered. Brian gave a small nod then added. “Make up another plate. He needs to eat. He’s too fucking thin.” He turned his attention away from thoughts of Justin and onto his son. “But you look like you’ve packed it away.” Gus kicked his feet eagerly excited to be the center of someone’s attention. Deb placed Brian’s plate in front of him. “I put Sunshine’s plate in the oven.” Brian nodded grabbing a rag to clean up the little boy who was covered in cereal. “Lindz, can you bring him up to my room when you’re done. I want to take the food up to Justin.” Lindsay looked up and smiled. “I’m done.” She replied anxious to maximize the time Gus had with his father. “Then just grab my plate and Justin’s and I’ll get Gus.” Brian offered still struggling with gooey hands. “Brian,” Lindsay whispered once they were out of ear shot. “Is Justin okay?” Brian wasn’t sure how to respond. “I don’t know.” He finally admitted. “I just don’t know.” “What exactly happened to him?” Lindsay asked once they were at the top of the stairs. “He’d have to tell you that Lindz. Maybe in time he will.” Brian shrugged deepening Lindsay’s concern as she followed him and Gus to his room. He knocked at the door just in case Justin was changing clothes again. A moment later, Justin pulled it back and then stepped aside allowing Brian and Lindsay to enter. “I’ll just put these over here.” Lindsay offered setting the plate on a near by table as well as the two sodas she had brought up. “Enjoy your lunch.” She gave Justin a smile. He offered a small one back. “I said I wasn’t hungry.” He argued as soon as the door was closed. He watched as Brian settled Gus onto the floor. “And I said sit your ass down and eat. The doctor said that you have at least fifteen pounds to put on so get to it.” Justin slowly made his way over to the table and began picking at the food. “I said eat it.” Brian demanded. Justin cut a bit and started chewing. It had been a long time since he’d had this much food. There was no way he’d be able to finish it all. “So when are we leaving?” Justin asked wishing he had some milk instead of a coke to wash down the bite. “Not until Friday at the earliest.” Brian replied without looking up. “It’s only Saturday.” Justin’s replied incredulously. “Make the best of it.” Brian offered as picked up his plate and then returned to the floor where his son was sitting. Brian took a bite of his food chewing slowly as he wondered how he was going to work off the extra calories off. He glanced over at the blond still picking at his food, taking in Justin’s lean hard body, Brian knew one thing he would like to do to burn them off. Justin chose that moment to look up. He saw the lust in Brian’s eyes before the man glanced away. Justin filed the information away for later. “So what do you usually do with Gus?” Justin asked as he took another bite, already feeling full. “Not sure. I haven’t been around him much.” Brian offered. “Still, just spending time with him is important. I’m sure it doesn’t matter that much what you are doing. You know researchers have found that babies imprint on people and he probably already knows you are his Dad. He just needs to be near you.” Justin rattled off sounding so much like the boy who had first stalked him that Brian suddenly wanted to ask him to repeat what he had just said. “What do you suggest?” Brian asked. “Read to him, sing to him, just hold him.” Justin continued not looking up. “Yeah, right.” Brian rolled his eyes causing Justin to look up. “Well if being the stud of Liberty Avenue is more important than hanging out with your kid, maybe you shouldn’t try at all. You’ll just hurt him in the end. Better he know what you are willing to give up front.” Justin returned to his plate. Brian felt slightly chastised, but it had been a long time since someone had challenged him this way. Justin always found a way to be honest, cut through the crap but make it still possible for Brian to do the right thing. “Ever hear from your Dad?” Brian asked. Justin just shook his head dismissively. “Ever tell yours that you’re gay?” He asked looking up. “Yeah.” Brian began pushing the food around his plate. “I did. I went to him and told him.” “What did he say?” Justin asked his shock obvious. “He said that it should be me dying, not him.” Brian pushed his plate away clearly done. “He was sick?” Justin asked. “Yeah, cancer, he died a few weeks later.” Justin nodded. “Did you make any peace with him?” He asked. “Yeah. I told him about Gus and we made peace. I was over at Michael’s. He tracked me down.” Brian explained. “I’m glad you got to make peace.” Justin pushed his plate away as well. “You aren’t finished.” Brian complained. “Neither are you.” Justin returned. “Okay.” Brian gave up. At least the blond had eaten some. That was better than nothing. Brian picked up the plates and headed toward the door. “Watch Gus.” “Brian.” He turned back. “You didn’t have to come up here with me, but thanks.” Justin offered as he moved to join the baby in the floor. Brian nodded but as he turned back to the door he couldn’t help but feel a small smile threatening his otherwise untouched expression. ******************************** Justin was surprised by a knock on his door a few moments later. He carried Gus over and was surprised that it was Lindsay. “Mel wanted to take Gus into town with Em and Ted.” She replied. “You want to come with us? I think Deb and Vic are coming and Brian and Michael have plans.” She smiled encouragingly. “No thanks.” Justin offered, handing the baby over. He really enjoyed time with Gus. He felt like he could be open in front of the baby and not work so hard to keep everything hidden. He could just be himself. She watched as Justin moved to the chair on the far side of the room and stared out the window. Leaving, she returned a few moments later and moved over to stand beside him. Laying a few items on the table she waited for the young man to register what she had brought him. Justin glanced down then back up at her questioning. “I thought you might like these. I always bring too many and I wasn’t sure how close you live to the art supply store in New York, so until you can find a good one, just take these.” Justin reached out as though he were touching precious jewels running his fingers over the sketch pad and pencils. “I don’t know what to say.” His eyes remained fixed on the precious items. “Tell ya what.” She beamed grateful that it had been the right move. “Draw a portrait of Gus and Brian and that will be thanks enough.” Justin nodded then glanced down at the group once more. Lindsay knew that look. It was the look of an artist itching to create. She reached out touching his shoulder just before she left him. He looked up at the touch of her hand. “We’ve all missed you, Justin. No matter what Brian might tell you, he’s missed you the most.” Her smile was soft. Justin remained unreadable but she hoped he would trust her words. Justin thought about Lindsay’s words. She had always been so kind to him. He wondered now if she would feel the same way if she knew the truth. He wondered if any of Brian’s family could manage to forget about his past? They all seemed to excel at reminding Brian about his, why would Justin be any different? Could anyone really put a past like his behind them? It seemed impossible. Feeling at a loss as to what to do, he went into the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He glanced up catching his reflection in the mirror and realized it had been weeks since he’d seen himself. He was shocked by how pale he looked, his cheeks were hollow, and his eyes dull. He needed a haircut as his blond locks were now starting to fall into his eyes and beyond. The bruise on his cheek was turning a pale green and he touched it surprised to find it still tender. “Look at yourself Justin.” He stated his voice sounding weak to his own ears. “Nice job of handling your life.” He looked away then, unable to meet the gaze of the boy staring back at him, the boy he had betrayed, sold to the highest bidder for the sake of pride and freedom. He wondered now if freedom had come at too high a price? ************************************ “I don’t want to talk about it and anyway what the fuck do you care? You have your big important life in New York.” Michael spat as Brian and he headed out to a nearby bar Vic had recommended. It wasn’t far from the condo. They could have walked but it was far too cold. “Mikey, you know I care.” Brian replied hiding his exasperation. “My life, important or not, has no bearing on yours. You don’t seem happy.” They pulled up in the parking lot. “Oh and you are?” Michael shot slamming the SUV’s door. Brian stared after him for a minute thrown a bit by the man’s question. He wasn’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t really, but had actually felt a little more so since he found Justin two days before. “This isn’t about me.” Brian dismissed. “Right.” Michael replied rolling his eyes. “This is all about me.” “Fine. Fuck it.” Brian sat at the bar and motioned for a shot. Michael furrowed his brow not liking the way that Brian had dismissed him so easily. He perched next to his best friend ordering a beer. “I don’t know what to do. I mean I try to do shit but he just takes over everything.” Michael took a draw off of the bottle before continuing. “He says he does it all because he loves me but I think he just doesn’t trust me to do it right.” He took another swig. Brian remained quiet. Michael needed to come to his own conclusion. Brian knew that with enough time he would realize that he had no place with the good doctor. “I wanted to go out the other night but he was too tired.” Michael took another sip on his beer. “The dangers of falling in love with older men.” Brian quipped down another shot. “Yeah, I’ll have to compare notes with Justin.” Michael got his jab in. Brian refused to be thrown off topic. This wasn’t about he and Justin this was about Michael and his relationship with the good doctor. “So did you go?” Brian asked getting things back on track. “Did I go where?” Michael asked irritated. “Out.” Brian stated as though he were talking to an idiot. “No.” Michael whined. “I didn’t want to go by myself.” “Then call a friend.” Brian offered. Michael mumbled as he took a drink of his beer. “What did you say?” Brian asked leaning in. “I said I don’t have any friends.” Michael sounded miserable. Brian wanted nothing more than to pummel David at the moment. “I don’t have a job. I hate where we live.” Michael continued. “When why are you there?” Brian asked the million dollar question. “He loves me.” Michael replied softly brown eyes seeking out the hazel ones he loved so much. Brian rolled his lips into his mouth realizing that things were much worse than he had thought. ***************************** David watched the young blond carefully. They were alone now as the afternoon activities had pulled everyone else out of the house and into the resort environment. It was the perfect time to approach the younger man. David rose from his chair and moved to the couch where Justin seemed absorbed in his book. Sitting down next to the blond he let their thighs touch causing Justin to look over curiously. “You know I just can’t figure it out.” David spoke staring at the man’s profile. “How could a 17 year old kid possibly afford to live in New York City waiting tables.” He reached out and laid his hand on Justin’s thigh. Justin glanced down at the man’s hand then turned to meet David’s gaze. “Get your fucking hand off of my leg.” He ordered. David smirked. “That’s good.” He admitted casually. “It sounds like you might even mean it.” He moved his hand up further as Justin reach down halting its progress. “I do mean it. Now get your hands off of me.” He ordered firmly. “I think you’re used to having men’s hands on you.” David ventured. “I think we both know how you’ve been making ends meet. Does Brian know?” Justin looked away turning back to his book trying to appear disinterested. David knew better. He smiled enjoying the younger man’s discomfort. “You know, no one has to know.” He moved his hand out from under Justin’s and began once more moving up the blonde’s lean thigh, his voice a hot whisper against Justin’s neck. “No one has to know about your occupation.” He watched Justin’s profile and noticed a slight grimace. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Justin stated but David recognized the uncertainty in the blonde’s voice. “I’m talking about you doing me a favor and me doing you one.” He shifted, moving his other hand up to run his fingers through the soft blond hair. Justin glanced over hating this man more than he’d ever thought possible. He’d pegged him for a creep from the moment Brian had pointed him out, but now he knew David was something much worse. “I don’t think Michael would appreciate you talking to me this way.” Justin turned back to his book feeling David’s finger run lightly over his crotch. “I don’t think Michael has to know about any of this.” David reached up and began unfastening Justin’s pants. “No one has to know about what it is you’ve been doing to keep yourself off of the streets.” He paused letting the blond consider what he was implying. “And if I don’t do you this favor?” Justin asked sarcastically emphasizing the word ‘favor’. His mind was racing as he tried to deal with what David was implying. “Well let’s just say the family might not be as accepting of Justin the hustler as they are Justin the struggling waiter.” David noted the slight shift in Justin’s demeanor. He was encouraged as the man lowered his book and tossed it out onto the table. This was exactly what he wanted. Brian was so fucking smug about the control he had over Michael, let’s see how well he handled knowing that David could control Justin. Brian had it in with Michael emotionally but David planned to have it in with Justin physically. He’d heard the stories of how possessive Brian was about the blond in the past, he’d seen definite signs that he was still possessive of the blond now. He’d lose it when he learned that his nemesis had managed to bed this precious blond boy ass. “So what are you suggesting?” Justin asked still refusing to look at the man. “Oh I was thinking we could go up to your room and you could show off all the many talents you’ve honed over the last few months.” David took Justin’s hand and placed in his lap letting the blond feel how hard the doctor was for him. “You think I give a shit what these people think?” Justin turned his eyes cool and aloof. David smiled calmly then nodded. “Good try Justin, but yeah I think you care desperately what these people think, especially Brian.” He added. “Brian knows.” Justin defended. “Yeah but no one else does so he escapes the little looks and guilt trips everyone would no doubt love to send his way.” David started working on Justin’s shirt. “Now I bet you could use some money.” He offered. Justin knew it was true. He wasn’t going to get anything from Hamilton for the week since the owner had offered Brian a discount to make up for Justin’s fuck up. Justin rolled his lips into his mouth considering. “I was thinking five hundred.” David offered. Justin continued to stare through him. “Maybe seven fifty.” He continued. Sighing he smiled knowing it would be worth it, “A thousand dollars.” He finally conceded. “I’m with Brian this week.” Justin stated the conflict, hoping somehow it might buy him some time. “Brian’s a savvy business man. He understands supply and demand. He isn’t here at the moment. It’s not like being with me will prevent you for being available for him when he wants you.” David reasoned. It was all so cold. Justin shivered slightly as the man’s words seemed to suck all the warmth he had finally managed to accept from his lean hard body. Justin sighed, the defeat returning like an old friend as he willed himself to disconnect once more. “Your room, not mine.” Justin accepted his fate. He really hated the idea of letting this man touch him, but he needed the money and certainly didn’t want his secret getting out. He wondered how Brian would react if he found out. “Let’s go.” David rose from the couch already hard as he anxiously awaited what the blond had to offer. He watched as Justin slowly made his way up the stairs in front of him. It felt like a win-win for David. He was going to have an excellent fuck and take Brian Kinney down a notch at the same time. He wasn’t sure how he would explain all of it to Michael once the truth came out, but David knew that his lover was easily confused and manipulated. He would think of something. As they entered the room he watched as Justin quickly threw off his clothing. It was the concise motions of a seasoned pro. David gasped at the sight of the blond. He really was absolutely beautiful. No wonder Kinney had found it impossible to push him out of his bed. David removed his own clothes, and then ordered Justin up on the bed. ‘Oh yes.’ David thought as he entered the blond. ‘Life is good. Payback is hell.’