Lost Chapter 3

The job was the job. His office wasn’t as large as the one he’d had at Ryder but the pay was better and so were the perks. He was doing well but was now realizing how little personal satisfaction he derived from his work. He found himself trolling long nights through clubs filled with sweaty bodies. Bodies that were offered up to him time and again, but even in those bodies he found no satisfaction. It felt good while it lasted but there was something he was missing. He thought it was Mikey. He even had the man up for a long weekend to show him his new loft and office. It had helped but still something was lacking. 

Two months, Brian had been in the city for a little over two months. He liked New York. He liked the way it was always awake, the way it was too full of people to judge any one person. It had the attitude of “Live and Let Live.” Brian had lived by this philosophy for most of his life. He fit right in. All in all he knew that the move had been a good thing for him. 

He wasn’t sure why but over the last two months he’d caught himself more than a few times searching the clubs for the missing blond. He’d never seen Justin though he’d followed enough blond heads thinking that he had. He’d always been disappointed.

Brian hadn’t really given up on finding him, he just had no idea where to look for him. He’d learned, through the grapevine that now stretched to New York City, that the detective that the Taylor’s had hired had given up, closed the case, telling the family that more than likely their son was dead. Brian refused to accept that. He refused to accept that anything could extinguish someone as bright as Justin. 

The older man was now considering the possibility of hiring his own detective. Breaking his life’s philosophy, but something was nagging at him about the way he had tossed the blond out on the curb. Surely Justin was still in the city. He was just too smart to be found or maybe the Taylor’s just refused to look where the boy might actually have wound up living. Still the trail was cold. It had been almost six months since the young man had stolen Brian’s credit card and escaped from his troubles. Brian wondered if Justin realized how insignificant those troubles had been when compared to the ones he more than likely faced now.

As the sun set on the insatiable city, Brian smiled out onto the busy street below him. He loved his new loft. It was spacious like the one he had own in Pittsburgh but this one actually had an elevated sleeping area. There were no walls to separate it from the rest of the loft, from his bed he could look down and see the expansive living area below. He loved the ceilings as well as they seemed to reach to the sky. The moans and groans of his various conquests reverberating from the rafters echoing back to feed his sexual drive like nothing else. He couldn’t help but remember how loud Justin had been in his bed. He’d loved how uninhibited the blond had been, always willing to try something new, pushing Brian further and further, learning quickly each and every place to touch and lick to bring the older man the most pleasure. Brian shivered slightly at the memory. He would call the detective tomorrow, he vowed.

He pulled on the joint and let the smoke relax him into the night. He was up for some entertainment. He had just sold a huge campaign and felt like celebrating. Buying a bottle of Dom he’s headed home and quickly hit the internet. Finding what he was looking for he made the call and placed his order. He wanted a blonde, slim, blue eyed, young but not too young, hot and experienced rent boy. It seemed a tall bill to fill but the man who had answered seemed confident that he knew exactly what Brian wanted and would get it right over to him. 

Brian checked himself in the mirror, the thin grey cashmere sweater hugging his taut body. He glanced further down enjoying the way the black jeans managed to make his flat ass appear more promising. He was 30 but he still looked 29 or maybe even 28. He heard the knock and realized that dinner was served. He smirked as he pulled back the sliding door so reminiscent of the one he’d had on Tremont. 

His eyes landed on his entertainment for the evening and he found he was suddenly unable to breathe. 

************************************

No names. That was the rule. No names. The clients were assigned by number, address, and time allotted. If they had special games that they had requested, those too were included in the information sheet, but other than that, it was just numbers. 

This was number 4263 at 2794 52nd, fourth floor, two hours, no talking. How could he have known that 4263 was Brian Kinney. He held the man’s hazel eyes for a long moment as each man tried to process what cruel twist of fate had brought their paths on this collision course. 

“I’ll call them. They’ll send someone else.” Justin’s voice was soft in the silence. He turned and started for the stairs knowing it would mean a quicker get away. Brian stood frozen for a moment until he realized the vision that had been before his eyes, the one he had spotted on almost every corner since he’d moved to New York, wasn’t the phantom that all the others had been, but was real. 

Ignoring the fact that his feet were bare he too headed for the stairs realizing that Justin had too much of a lead for the older man to catch him even with his stride advantage. 

“Justin!” Brian called as he raced down the stairs. Justin ignored the man and continued on focusing only on one word “escape.” He had to get away. He already felt too exposed. So now Brian knew and so would everyone else. He’d come to New York to escape his problems only to find himself swimming in even deeper shit. So he’d tried a few hourly jobs until the cold of the streets and the ache of hunger had forced him to sell the one thing he had that was worth anything, his ass. 

“Justin!” Brian called again but the blond was already in the lobby of the building. He had to find a phone on the street. He had to call the service. He was already formulating excuses as he heard the slam of the building door behind him. 

Brian raced out the door and searched frantically up and down the street. There was no sign of the blond. He wondered for a moment if he had indeed imagined it. It was only then that the reality of the situation began sinking in. Justin worked for an escort service. Justin, his Justin, the innocent, determined, idealistic blond, was a rent boy. 

Brian turned to enter his building no longer feeling the desire to celebrate. 

********************************

All night Brian sat staring out at the New York lights. He continued to smoke one cigarette after another until even his eyes began complaining about the haze. He relived all the hours that he had spent wondering what had happened to the blond, assuming he’d somehow landed on his feet once the card had been canceled. Now Brian knew the truth and it haunted him like no other mistake he’d ever made. 

He’d discovered two months after kicking the boy out that a security man had robbed several other lofts. It had been some theft ring. Justin had locked the door that day, but the security agency had merely used another code to override Brian’s. He’d wanted to find the young man and explain but knew “Sorry was bullshit.” Sorry wasn’t going to take away whatever the hell Justin had been forced to do in order to survive in the Big Apple.

Brian didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to consider what the blond had been doing these long months when they had been apart. He turned the white card between his fingers. He knew the agency Justin worked for. It had come highly recommended. At least he was with the best group in town. That had to help protect the blond to some degree. 

The service had tried to send a replacement, someone similar to meet his needs, but Brian had sent the other man away with five hundred bucks in his pocket. He didn’t need a fucking replacement, but he didn’t want to cause Justin any further trouble either. Brian knew enough about the escort business to know that Justin’s running out would not be overlooked. 

Brian took another long drag on the cigarette before giving up his place at the window. He needed to catch a couple of hours of sleep. He had a lot to do later. He had a lsot blond to find.

*****************************

At nine Justin pulled himself up off of the floor of his bare shabby apartment and knew he had to face the music. He was sure that Hamilton was going to be pissed but maybe he’d let Justin off easy. After all this was the first time that Justin had ever been a no show with a client. 

He thought about taking a cold shower. It had been weeks since the building had had any warm water. He chose to merely change his shirt instead. He picked through the few shirts he had hanging in his sparse closet and grabbed the white one. Throwing his jean jacket back on he headed down the two blocks to where the escort service offices were located. 

Walking in the front door he avoided any eye contact with the other employees until he entered the waiting area of Mr. Hamilton’s office. There he stopped short as he met a familiar hazel gaze. 

“Taylor.” Ann Carol stated sounding a little surprised. Justin looked away from Brian for a moment to address the receptionist. He liked Ann. She would bring him homemade cookies sometimes and had even knitted him a scarf around Christmas. She always had a smile for him. That was something he didn’t get very much anymore, so he appreciated it every time he was given one. 

“Hi Ann.” He cleared his throat. “I need to see him.” He continued. 

“Well this gentleman is before you, but hopefully it won’t be long. Just have a seat babe.” She motioned to the couch. Justin nodded and made a point of sitting as far from Brian as he could. Brian noted his actions but refused to be discouraged by them. 

He hadn’t noticed how thin Justin was last night. Of course he hadn’t seen him but for a moment before the blond had been a blur racing down the steps. He looked tired and pale. He had dark circles under his eyes. Brian wondered how much sleep he’d gotten. 

“Mr. Kinney.” Carol smiled up at him. “Mr. Hamilton will see you now.” Brian nodded briskly then headed into the man’s office. Justin watched him go. He looked exactly the same. He was dressed impeccably in a designer suit. He smelled good too. Justin now wished he’d opted for a cold shower this morning. 

“What time did he get here?” Justin asked motioning to the door. Carol had noticed the immediate tension between the two men but said nothing. 

“He was here when I arrived at a little before eight.” She replied. “He’s gorgeous.” She winked. Justin gave a small smile. Who could argue with that? It was the truth. 

Justin stood and began pacing nervously around the waiting area wondering what the two men were discussing. He had hoped to have a chance to explain things to Mr. Hamilton before Brian complained but now he saw that wasn’t going to happen. He tried to think of a reasonable excuse for running out. He was still trying to come up with one when the office door opened and Mr. Hamilton appeared. 

“Taylor, come in.” He smiled his oily smile and Justin swallowed hard repressing a slight shudder. He walked stiffly into the office where he found Brian sitting in the chair opposite Mr. Hamilton’s desk. It was the desk that the man had fucked him on during Justin’s initial interview. Justin wondered if Brian had any idea what an interview for an escort agency involved. 

“Mr. Kinney was just telling me about last night.” Mr. Hamilton began. 

“I can explain about that.” Justin began his desperation bleeding through causing Brian’s alarm to rise.

“Justin.” Brian’s voice held a warning note but the blond ignored him.

“You see I just sorta freaked. I mean I just .....well I can’t explain it…but it won’t happen again.” Mr. Hamilton stalked toward him, his lips in a thin dangerous line.

“Are you telling me that you bugged out on Mr. Kinney last night.” His voice was low and dangerous. Justin’s breathing increased at the sound of the man’s menacing tone. 

Justin glanced at Brian which he immediately realized was a mistake as Hamilton’s hand caught him off guard slapping him to the floor. 

He heard Brian’s voice but wasn’t able to concentrate on the individual words as he tried to shake his head clear. 

“This isn’t your concern.” Hamilton spat at the other man. “You are a customer and we value your business but he is my employee and he will do as he is told.” Justin pushed himself up from the floor, his face stinging as well has his pride. He kept his eyes on the floor. “Well I’ll never understand why you wanted to lie for him.” Hamilton stated in Brian’s direction. Justin shot Brian a wary look then returned his gaze to the ground. “But if you want him then he’s yours for the week at a discount rate. We just appreciate your willingness to give our service another chance.” 

Justin’s head shot up as he processed the man’s words. He wanted to protest. He wanted to explain why it wasn’t possible for him to go with Brian for an hour let alone a week, but from the glare Hamilton was giving him he knew such arguments would only serve to get him hit again. 

“Your service provided a replacement.” Brian warned. “I’m sure if you’ll check your records from last night you’ll see that no harm was done.” Brian glanced at Justin his heart twisting as he watched the man’s cheek continue to react to Hamilton’s attack. It was going to be a hell of a whelp. 

“There is no excuse for his behavior. I can assure you he will be fully compliant from here on out.” Hamilton replied finding Brian’s need to protect the blond both curious and concerning. He’d known the boy’s first name as well. Something was amiss here. “Justin, you will behave yourself or I’ll have you back living here under my watchful gaze.” He warned. Brian wasn’t sure what that meant but he didn’t like the sound of it or the effect it seemed to have on the blond, who merely nodded in the older man’s direction.

“Let’s go Justin.” Brian’s voice was firm but gentle. Justin never looked up as he followed the man out of the office. 

*****************************

“We’re going out of town.” Brian stated conversationally as they headed out of the building. “We’ll need to grab a cab and get your things then head to my loft.” 

“We don’t need a cab.” Justin replied from behind him. Brian stopped and considered his words. “I live a couple of blocks down.” Justin headed up the street to his building. 

Brian wordlessly entered the shambles that Justin called home as they both stepped over the various drunks and addicts who were passed out in the entrance and on the stairs. Once Justin reached the fourth floor, he made a motion to Brian covering his lips. Brian remained silent as they crept past the second door. 

Just as they passed it, the door flew open and a wild eyed man emerged. 

“Thought you could sneak past me did you? But I’m on to you now. I’m calling the FBI. I know you’re a fucking alien. I know you are here to abduct the President.” He screeched. Justin seemed unfazed as he continued on to the door around the hall. Brian was more than a little unnerved by the lunatics performance. 

“Does that happen a lot?” Brian asked when he caught up with the blond. 

“Yeah except he usually has a knife with him.” Justin opened the door and Brian was immediately struck by how empty the room was. It had a shabby used mattress in the center of the floor, a small open shower and commode in the center of the room, and a sink in what was suppose to serve as the kitchen. Justin opened a small door in the kitchen area and pulled out two pairs of jeans and four shirts. He then grabbed some hopefully clean underwear out of a laundry basket in the same corner.

Brian couldn’t quite get over how meager Justin’s existence was. He knew how much a night with the escort service cost. He was shocked to see how little of it made it into the hands of the actual workers. 

Justin felt uncomfortable under Brian’s gaze. He knew what the other man had to be thinking. He knew his apartment was a shabby shit hole but it was all he could afford and it beat the fuck out of being in one of Hamilton’s rooms. He knew how things worked in that building. He had no intentions of paying the rent twice, once in cash then once in ass. 

Brian wouldn’t understand any of that so Justin just allowed him to think what he would. He already knew that Justin was a thief; what the fuck did it matter that he now also knew he was a whore.

“You ready?” Brian asked. Justin gave a small nod as he finished packing his things into the small duffle he had brought with him to New York. It was all he had left. Well that and his shoes. Everything else had been lost one way or the other. 

“Don’t you even want to know where we are going?” Brian asked.

“Doesn’t matter.” Justin replied softly. “I’m being compliant.” Brian reached out and stopped the man as he passed. 

“Maybe I don’t want you to be compliant.” Brian raised one eyebrow as he stared into the young world weary face searching for some spark of the old Justin that might remain. 

“Look,” Justin swallowed glancing back to his humble home then up into Brian’s eyes, “I’m not getting shit for this, so let’s just get on with it. Take me where ever the hell you want, fuck me, then bring me back. Give Hamilton his money and forget you ever saw me.” Brian furrowed his brow considering Justin’s words. 

“Is that really what you want? And what do you mean by, ‘not getting shit for this’?” He continued to hold Justin in place.

“The fucking discount you’re getting courtesy of Mr. Hamilton.” Justin sneered the man’s name. “That’s my cut. Its his little way of reminding me that he owns my ass.” He jerked his arm free. “Now let’s get out of here.” He turned away from Brian who suddenly wondered if finding Justin had been a stroke of luck or not.

The two men headed out, quietly passing the asylum on their way down the hall. Brian couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief when they reached the sidewalk. He quickly hailed a cab and gave the man the exclusive address in Manhattan. 

Justin was silent in the cab holding his meager possession tightly in his hands. Brian took in the smaller man’s obvious tension but refused to give in to the voice that was telling him to just stop the cab and let the blonde out. He had wanted this chance for months now and had no intentions of living with the guilt any longer. 

Once they reached Brian’s apartment, they entered. Justin took in the posh furnishings suddenly remembering how many of Brian’s possessions he had allowed to be taken. He wondered when the man would confront him about the money he owed from the credit card. He’d only used it for one night in the hotel and for the air fare. He tried adding up the figures in his head, but couldn’t remember exactly how much the ticket had cost.

The sound of Brian’s voice on the phone caused Justin to look up. He was sitting nervously on the edge of the expensive sofa still clutching his bag in his hands. He looked so small in the slightly oversized jean jacket. Brian wondered where he had gotten it from and also how warm it was. He guessed, not very. After giving orders for their things to be picked up and delivered to the train station, Brian motioned for Justin to follow him. 

The blond tossed his bag down next to Brian’s and followed him out. 

They walked a few doors down then entered a restaurant. Justin had never been to the place and wasn’t really hungry but he followed along still feeling out of place next to the older man. 

They entered and Brian walked past the few people lingering around the door. As they entered the main dining area Justin’s eyes fell onto a face he had that he would never see again. Without thinking his feet instinctive started backing away from the room and toward the entrance. Brian didn’t realize that the blond wasn’t with him anymore until he was about to be seated. 

He gave the man seating him a look that told him to wait as he turned and to go in search for the blond. He found Justin sitting on the front steps smoking a cigarette. 

“What the hell are you doing out here? They’re about to seat us.” Brian’s voice made his irritation obvious.

“I’m not hungry.” Justin replied evenly. He had an arm wrapped around his body forcing himself to stop shaking. 

“I don’t care. Put out that cigarette and come on.” Brian waited impatiently as it seemed for a moment that Justin wasn’t going to comply. 

“Please Brian,” The blond suddenly looked up at him startling the older man. It was the first time the blond had shown any emotion all day. “Just let me stay out here. I’m really not hungry. I promise I won’t leave.” Brian shook his head refusing to give into the blonde’s request. 

Justin stubbed out the cigarette then pushed himself up to his feet. He followed Brian inside knowing he had no choice in the matter. That was what bothered him the most these days. He couldn’t really remember the last time that he’d had a choice about anything in his life. 

He forced himself not to look at the man as they passed the table but he felt the man’s eyes on his body. Justin felt his stomach roll as visions of that night came back to him. He sat down quickly and stared down at the table willing himself to hold it together. 

“Justin?” Brian asked his brow furrowed with concern. It was obvious that something was upsetting the young man. He was trembling slightly. Brian noted the temperature in the room. It didn’t seem cold but then again he wasn’t in a thin jean jacket. He knew their next stop would have to involve getting the blond some suitable clothing for the next week. Justin glanced up and just as he did, Brian noticed that a man in a red shirt was making his way toward their table just over Justin’s right shoulder. 

Justin looked at Brian’s eyes and noticed that they were following something from behind him. He felt a sudden surge of panic but managed to keep his voice steady.

“Is there someone coming up to our table?” He asked. Brian continued to watch the man’s progress as he gave a slight nod. “Red shirt, balding.” Justin continued. Brian shifted his eyes until he met Justin’s. He nodded once more. “Will you excuse me for a moment.” Justin was out of his seat and hurrying toward the back of the restaurant before Brian had the chance to say a word to stop him. 

Brian continued to eye the man in the red shirt. There was something predatory in the man’s gaze. There was a cruelty there that Brian had seen a few times himself over the years. It caused his warning bells to sound as the man altered his course just enough so that he could continue his pursuit of the blond. 

“Where is your back door?” Justin asked one waiter after another as they rushed past him to their various tables. He soon learned that there was no back door, at least none that he was going to find out about. He was just about to give up his plan to escape knowing that the man he was trying to evade couldn’t be far behind him now. He didn’t want to see his face again. He never wanted to smell his breath or feel his hands on his body. 

“Come on.” A young waiter suddenly reappear taking Justin by the arm and leading him down two short passages. He threw open a door then hurried Justin inside slamming the door behind him. Justin turned to find he was in some oversized pantry. He moved to the far wall and did his best to disappear between two shelving units. As he slumped to the floor he fought the memories that were flooding back to him. 

“Take it like a man.” The voice had demanded. The sound of the slap, the hand in his hair, ripping and pulling, forcing the man deeper still inside of his exhausted body. Justin had submitted more from exhaustion than compliance. 

It had been unnerving how only when he had truly begged for his life that the man had been able to cum. The sick fuck had gotten off on his ability to break Justin into a million pieces. He’d broken him time and again until it seemed the night would never end.

The taste of cum and blood in Justin’s mouth had threatened to send the contents of his stomach up and onto the filthy mattress he found himself helplessly buried in. He wasn’t sure he that would survive the night and for the first time since he left Pittsburgh he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“Take it you little whore. You know you that you want it. Beg me for it.” The man’s harsh words accentuated by a violent thrust.

Justin continued to huddle against the wall, his small frame trembling as the night returned in vivid detail before his unwilling eyes. His ears pounding with the sound of the man’s voice threatening him, cursing him, destroying him one syllable at a time. His mouth voicing all the terrible things that Justin knew to be true. He would never escape. He would die in some filthy bedroom, a sacrifice to the god of passion, just somebody’s son that they threw away.

As soon as the man had passed their table, Brian had started in behind him hoping to find out what it was about this man that had frightened Justin so badly. He watched as the man pulled up short glancing around like a hunter who had suddenly lost his prey.

Brian watched him curse as he stopped several waiters inquiring after the ‘hot blond’. Brian waited until Red had given up his pursuit and headed back to his own table before he too began making inquiries. 

A young waiter took a few moments to size him up before he motioned with his head. He silently led Brian to a hall in the back of the restaurant. Brian entered the door and noted that the waiter was still watching him. 

“Justin?” Brian whispered into the room as though his own voice might scare the blond further. There came no reply as Brian moved further into the pantry. “Justin?” He called again. He heard a muffled sob and moved toward the sound. He found the blond, shaking violently his hands covering his face. It shocked the older man. He felt a sudden need to find Red and exact some appropriate retribution for what must have been a horrific night for Justin. Brian hesitated unsure of how to proceed. 

“Is he okay?” The waiter’s voice startled Brian. He turned back and nodded moving slowly toward Justin. 

“Justin?” He whispered softly as he reached out and touched the man. Justin jerked back violently his eyes now open as he scrambled away from Brian’s touch. “Justin, its me, Brian. It’s Brian.” Brian tried to reassure him and was relieved to see that Justin recognized him and began working to gain control over himself.

“Is he still out there?” Justin asked his voice small and frightened. Brian felt rage that someone had obviously hurt Justin to this point that the man was cowering in a corner. 

“Yeah.” Brian admitted. “But he isn’t going to hurt you again.” He vowed. Justin eyed him obviously unconvinced. Brian realized that the distrust hurt, but was to be expected after what he had done to Justin months before. 

“You okay?” The waiter asked once more waiting for Justin’s reply. Justin’s head leaned out to see the man standing in the doorway.

“Yes, thank you.” He replied weakly. The waiter nodded. 

“Which one is he?” He asked looking from Brian to Justin then back. 

“Red shirt, bald, asshole.” Brian announced. The waiter gave Brian a conspiratorial look then disappeared. Brian wondered what Red was about to be wearing. 

“Who was he, Justin?” Brian asked wanting to reach out and touch the blond but at the same time not daring to. 

“Just another satisfied customer.” Justin replied his voice sounding harsh but terribly young. Brian waited until Justin finally met his gaze. It was all there in those clear blue eyes. The pain, the fear, the betrayal, and the anger, Brian waited hoping Justin would tell him the rest. “He hurt me.” He finally confessed. “He liked hurting me.” The obvious confusion in the blonde’s tone tore at Brian’s heart more than anything he’d ever heard in his life. 

He reached for the young man then and pulled him against his own body. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing or not. He just knew it was all he had to offer the man at the moment and he felt compelled to give Justin all he had to give. 

“I won’t let him hurt you again.” He repeated against the young man’s hair. He’d missed Justin’s hair, the way it smelled and felt. “I won’t let him hurt you ever again.” Brian determined. 

Justin was stiff in his arms refusing to give in to the burning need to bury his head in Brian’s chest and finally release all of the physical and emotional pain he’d endured over the last few months. It had been a terrible nightmare. One that Justin had no idea how to wake from. 

“Let’s go.” Brian stated huskily. “We’ll just eat on the train.” Justin nodded feeling Brian’s hand on the small of his waist. “We have some shopping to do.” Brian stated as they headed toward the front of the restaurant. 

Justin didn’t question the man further. He knew the rules and it was time he started obeying them once more. Brian had paid for him in full. He belonged to the brunet until a week from Sunday. There had been a time when the thought of being with Brian for nine days would have thrilled the young man, but now feelings were a luxury he knew he couldn’t afford.

There was the sound of a dish breaking as a man howled in pain. Apparently Red was now wearing a scalding bowl of soup. Brian used the distraction to get Justin out of the restaurant without seeing Red again. 

He glanced over as they headed down the front steps. Justin’s shoulders were slumped with defeat. He wasn’t sure what Justin had endured that would have broken him so completely, but what Brian had noted in Red’s eyes told him more than he wanted to know.

***********************************

Justin watched as Brian perused the racks. He furrowed his brow slightly confused by the clothing that Brian seemed interested in buying. He hugged himself tighter relieved that his body was starting to relax. The sight of the man at the restaurant had scared him shitless. Justin had no desire to see any of his Johns again but especially not the ones that had gotten off on his pain. He shuddered.

Brian noted the movement and forced his face to remain neutral in spite of his growing concern for the young man. He didn’t want to think about what Red had done to Justin, forced Justin to do, that had scarred the blond so deeply. He didn’t want to think about it and yet it was all he could think about as he watched Justin shudder once more as he stared out the front window of the store. 

“Justin.’ He called. The blond turned back, his eyes emotionless once more. “Come try these on.” Brian indicated the items the salesman was holding. Justin furrowed his brow. 

He walked past Brian, his expression revealing his confusion and distrust of the situation. 

The salesman followed along with Brian. An hour later they were leaving the store with four huge bags full of jeans, a few sweaters and more than a few close fitting long sleeve Tee’s and a new jacket. 

“Let’s stop in here.” Brian stated as they walked into a small shoe store. 

“Brian, I don’t need shoes.” Justin replied feeling grateful and resentful at the same time. He’d been freezing his ass off for months. Now he would have some warm clothes. 

Brian glanced down at the worn tennis shoes, the same ones he had tripped over hundreds of times in the loft, and then met Justin’s gaze. He shook his head and moved further into the store. 

Thirty minutes later Justin and he were back on the street, this time with heavy socks, new tennis shoes and new water proof hiking boots. The packages were getting heavy as Brian lifted his hand and hailed a cab. 

“Grand Central Station.” He stated. Justin merely stared out of the window. He wasn’t sure what to say. He finally turned to Brian and softly mumbled.

“Thanks for all the new stuff you bought me. You really didn’t have to—“ His voice trailed off as he drew back into the shell he’d grown in the last few months.

Brian watched it happen and wondered how he would ever manage to break through it once and for all. 

“Well actually I did. Where we’re going you would have frozen your ass off.” Justin glanced up at him in surprise. 

“Where are we going?” He asked growing curious despite his earlier claim that he wasn’t.

“Pocono’s.” Brian stated with a sigh. Justin grimaced and turned back to the window without a word. 

Brian had accepted the invitation weeks earlier and had even considered calling and canceling after finding Justin last night, but knew Lindsay would have his balls if he had done so. In fact if Gus hadn’t been one of the attendees Brian would never have agreed to attend in the first place, but he missed his son too much to turn down the opportunity to see him for an entire week. Now as he glanced over at the young blond staring lost out the window of the cab, Brian realized that he wasn’t sure how the rest of the gang was gong to receive the boy, and was even more concerned about how Justin would take seeing them again.

A lot had happened over the last few months. It had been hard on everyone in one way or the other, but looking at the young blond still fighting against his earlier scare, Brian knew who had suffered the most.