Lost Chapter 2


“What do you mean “he’s gone”?” Emmett asked. 

“I mean he is gone. He never went home.” Brian glanced up from his drink. He’d already wasted one weekend of his life in New York looking for the little run away. He had no intention of doing that again. 

“He has to be somewhere?” Ted offered. “Are you sure he isn’t with one of his friends?” 

“I’m his only friend.” Daphne admitted. Brian and Michael exchanged a quick glance knowing that they had been each other’s only friend as well. 

“Well what do you want us to do?” Michael asked feeling pissed off but also scared for the little shit. He couldn’t imagine going to New York by himself now let alone when he was 18. 

“We already looked for him.” Brian grumbled. “He doesn’t want to be found. The end.” He downed his shot.

“You are such a fucking jerk.” Daphne spat. “You fucking outed him at school. You tell him he’s nothing, then you take him in, only to change your fucking mind and tell him he’s nothing again. Well Fuck. YOU.” She turned and headed out the door. It had been a waste of time trying to get Brian Fucking Kinney to help her. She would just have to hope that the Taylors had better luck. They had hired a detective but so far the man had found nothing. It had been two months now and things were starting to look bleak. 

No one had heard a word from Justin. The detective had tried to prepare them all for the worst. As she climbed into her car she wondered which was worse, not knowing or knowing, just not having it confirmed. Her friend was dead. He had probably been murdered the first week he spent in the city. 

He was gone and she was never going to see him again. Feeling lost she laid her head against the steering wheel and gave into the grief. She sobbed until her face was soaked and her breath was coming in stuttered gasps.

*********************************

The sound and the pain hit simultaneously. “You like that boy?” The man’s drawl was on Justin’s last nerve as the man hit him again. He hated the ones that had to hit. He would never understand pleasure from pain. 

“Answer me you little shit.” He hit him again. 

“Yes.” He replied huskily. 

“Yeah that’s good. Now suck it.” He tossed Justin onto the floor and laid back on the bed. Justin sized the guy up and suppressed his gag reflects as he went to work once more. 

The sun was going down on the day and as the blow job progressed, Justin realized that soon the room would be completely dark. It was easier to work in the dark. In that dark all bodies became Brian. In the dark the voices muted and lowered until they became his, all breath changed to nicotine and JB as it blew across his skin and over his lips. 

He always did his best work in the dark. 

*****************************

“So that is your defense?” The head of the ethic’s committee had heard both sides in the case, and without much to consideration unanimously voted to terminate Brian Kinney. 

Brian sat shocked, reeling from the fact that Kip Thomas had played him so completely. 

“We find your behavior both unprofessional and reprehensible.” The man with the glasses and obviously no taste in suits continued. 

Brian glanced at Marty Ryder only to find him avoiding any eye contact. 

“So now what?” Brian asked Melanie who was as shocked as Brian had been. The case had been made but there had been huge holes in it, holes that she had filled with doubt and suspicion. She believed that this had more to do with getting rid of a queer and less to do with justice. 

“Ryder’s insurance will fork over the cash while you polish your resume.” She offered grimly. 

Brian rose, feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of him. He wanted the feeling to stop. He defiantly met every inquisitive gaze as he made his way back to his office to clean out his things. He hated having a fucking security guard along for the ride. He’d made the company millions and yet now he couldn’t even be trusted with a stapler and stack of legal pads. 

He knew where he was headed first, the backroom, then he was spending a few days working on his resume, finding the perfect headhunter then heading for the Big Apple. He should have gone there five years ago, but his ties to his past life had held him firm. Now there was nothing other than Michael, Lindsay and Gus keeping him in the Pitts. He could always come home to visit. It was only a few hours away. He’d never find another job in the Pitts even if he wanted to. He needed to throw his hat into a bigger ring. New York sounded like the perfect escape.

Brian immediately thought of Justin. He wasn’t sure why. He never thought of the kid with any regularity. Well except for the times when he saw a similar blond head on the dance floor or in the backroom, or anytime Lindsay mentioned some lame ass art fair at the GLC, or he noticed a nipple piercing, or someone said something asinine and he wanted someone who would be able to see that it was asinine, those were the only times. 

As he continued separating his life from that of his time spent at Ryder, Brian realized that all the rent boys he’d had for the last three months had all been blonde, blue eyed, lean and very much like Justin. He wondered where the kid had really gone. He’d looked for him in New York. He’d followed the credit card trail but by the time he had reached the hotel the blond was gone. He’d waited for two days, even putting the trio of all that is pathetic up in a hotel while he had waited for more charges. By five the next afternoon he’d realized that Justin wasn’t going to be using the card anymore. 

He wondered if the kid had gone home, but he had soon learned that Justin hadn’t. Brian wondered if he should have moved faster. He had only missed the kid by less than an hour. 

Brian tossed the box in the back of the jeep suddenly remembering the night that Gus had been born. He and Justin had fucked around in the backseat while Michael had driven them back to the loft. His smile was nostalgic as he remembered how surprised he’d been by what a hot kisser Justin had been, in fact what a hot fuck he’d been, even from the first. No matter how hard Brian pushed him, Justin pushed back even harder. It had been the first time Brian had felt that sort of balance from another person. 

He wondered what would have happened had he not thrown the kid out on the street. He wondered if Justin had felt the same way Brian did now; rejected, humiliated and a little lost. Brian realized immediately that Justin’s case had been worse. After all, even though Brian had lost his job, his reputation and his future partnership, he still had a home. He felt something grip his heart and squeeze as he realized that Justin had been thrown out with nothing and no place to go. He’d done that to the blond. 

Maybe he’d look some more once he got to New York. He’d have nothing else to do except work. Yeah, he’d go find Justin. Maybe the kid would need a place to stay. Maybe he wouldn’t. It really wasn’t about making up for the past. Brian just knew now that he needed to know that kid was okay. That was all, then he could walk away.

*************************************

Bachelor Parties. Justin hated being assigned to a bachelor party. It was just a nice name for a gang bang. He looked up as the third guy entered him wincing as the man’s technique left him slightly torn. 

He glanced to his left and realized he had more work to do as he took the other guy in his mouth. 

“You are so fucking tight.” The guy moaned. Justin wanted to yell something about how lousy this guy fucked but instead he sunk down deeper inside himself, forgetting who he was. He was Taylor. No first names though many of his clients thought that was his first name. They requested him. He was always booked solid. He wasn’t sure how he had pulled this assignment. He’d only done a party like this a couple of times before. The last one had landed him in the hospital for a few days when things got a “little rough” as the client had explained on the phone to Mr. Hamilton. 

He had awoken in a white room, in a white gown, alone. He had ached all over. The nurses had been nice but distant. He realized that they had to know what he did for a living. He could see it in their saintly eyes, the cool judgment, the condemnation of his soul to a much warmer destination. Justin felt certain himself that if there was a hell he no longer had to worry about God sending him there, he’d been residing there now for a few months, each day stretching out into an eternity all on its own. 

Justin heard a deep guttural groan pulling him back to the surface and to the performance at hand. The man fucking him finally shot as did the man in his mouth. That was the last of them. As the man pulled out of his mouth Justin felt a hand on his face and looked up into what looked to be compassionate eyes. It was the Best Man. That’s what everyone had called him. The Best. Justin continued to stare into his deep blue eyes so different from the hazel ones he missed. He was wary of emotions like compassion and concern. He’d seen those a few times before over the last few months. They were usually part of some scam. He knew better than to trust a client now. 

“Your money is over there. We paid the service, but you definitely earned a tip.” One of the grooms stated. Justin never looked away from the deep blue eyes even when the groom bent down and began consuming his mouth. 

“Damn Holden, you taste good.” The groom laughed as he gave Justin’s mouth one last long lick. Justin hurt all over at the moment he didn’t have time to think about his mouth, he was too busy wondering if his legs were still working. 

The Best Man, Holden, made no comment just continued to stare. Finally as the other men dressed, the Best Man’s voice cut through the chaos.

“You have the room for the night.” Holden called to one of the grooms. “ I think I’m going to use it.” He continued to stare into Justin’ s clear baby blues. Justin’s eyes narrowed, running through his instructions in his head. This was not an all night call or was it? What had Hamilton said? Usually once the grooms got off, the party was over. He’d never stayed all night at one of these. 

“We have him all night as well.” The other groom motioned casually to Justin as if he were a DVD they’d rented for their entertainment. The Best Man, Holden, never made any move at all and Justin lay frozen wondering what would be asked of him next. 

There was some good natured comments and teasing about the Best Man but Holden seemed to just took it all in stride. Finally the last asshole left and the two men were alone in the suite. 

“Why don’t you go get cleaned up.” Holden offered softly reaching his hand down and helping Justin sit up. Justin winced as the throb raced through his overused body. “Do you need any help?” Justin stared through the man as he headed for the shower. He didn’t want to stay but they’d obviously paid for it, so he had no choice. 

He stood under the hot spray letting it wash away the aches, cum and saliva that covered his pale skin. His legs grew tired so he leaned against the tile. He wanted to go home. He wanted to sleep on his own mattress. He wanted to disappear and never wake up again. There was a knock on the door and Justin knew that none of that was going to happen. 

He turned off the water and took his time drying. He had a couple of hickeys on his neck, those would cost the fuckers extra. Hamilton would hit the ceiling when he saw that they had marked him that way. He had bruises on this hips where the third guy had held him down. Fucker. 

“You okay in there?” Came the soft voice on the other side of the door. Justin stared at the door for a moment and realized how wide the gap was between where he was standing and the man on the other side. It only looked about two inches deep but it was actually years and miles and black holes of eternity that stretch on forever. He wondered if he would ever be the man on the other side of the door, or if he was forever doomed to be the whore on this side. 

“I’ll be right out.” The fatigue he heard in his own voice surprised him. He wrapped the towel around his waist, used the bottle of mouthwash to lose Holden’s taste along with a few others, then slowly opened the door. To his surprise Holden had put on some briefs and t-shirt. Justin narrowed his eyes in confusion.

“You look really tired.” Holden stated. “Let’s get some sleep.” He offered. Justin moved past him warily as the man gestured to the bed. Justin removed his towel and slipped between the cool white linen enjoying the way it soothed his body. 

He felt the bed depress and knew that Holden was joining him. 

“May I hold you?” The Best Man asked. Justin moved until he was in the other man’s arms. He lay there waiting for what was sure to come next but after half and hour he realized it wasn’t going to happen. 

“How old are you?” Holden asked. Justin considered the date. He’d told Hamilton he was 18 when he had arrived. It was the only way he could have gotten the job. 

“What day is it?” Justin asked his head resting on Holden’s chest. 

“March 30.” The man stated softly his hand gently fingering Justin’s lengthening hair. 

“I’m 18.” He sighed realizing that it was his birthday. It meant nothing to him but for some reason it caused a little hollow spot to open and a cold wind to blow through him. “Today I’m 18.”

“Today is your birthday?” The man asked curiously. 

“Yeah.” Justin admitted. 

“What’s your name?” Holden tightened his hold on the slim pale body. 

“Taylor.” Justin replied his voice still dead, the sound of it saddened the older man who was holding him. It wasn’t right for someone so young to sound so old.

“Happy Birthday Taylor.” The man sighed sadly then kissed the top of Justin’s head. Justin accepted the affection. It had been a long time since anyone had kissed him for his sake, held him just to hold him or talk to him without wanting something more than just information. Maybe this man, this Best Man, Holden, was his gift. Maybe this was the only birthday present he was going to get. 

Justin closed his eyes and relaxed against the man’s body. He was tired. He never knew it was possible to feel this tired at 18.