When Irish Eyes are Smiling – chapter nine
Author: Elsa Rose Bryant
Justin wasn’t sure when he made the decision to spy on Brian. It was just something that happened. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the man. He trusted him unconditionally. But he didn’t trust anyone else and he had a feeling that Brian was perhaps getting careless doing whatever it was he was doing. Maybe it was an age thing. He wasn’t sure.
He’d taken to waving at the black car when he entered and left the building. He’d even had the nerve to sit on the steps and sketch the car. Only to have it roar off when the occupants realized what he was doing. He continued to go to PIFA, visit the diner, drag home junk to fix into something amazing and he put up with frequent visits from his sister and his mother.
But when he wasn’t busy in his studio, or doing homework or any of the other sundry things he did to keep himself busy, Justin was on the top floor getting to know the Prince in the tower.
“Don’t you have something better to do kid?” Brian asked when he’d come down from his office to find Justin cleaning his fridge.
“Probably.” Justin replied, taking a final swipe with his bleach soaked cloth. “You know you don’t have to keep broccoli once it goes into a slime. You can actually toss it.”
“Nice to know.” Brian shrugged. “I don’t eat broccoli.”
“Apparently not.” Justin held up something disgusting, green and slimy in a plastic bag. “But it’s good for you, vitamin A and all that.” He threw the bag in a garbage container.
“Thank you Susie Homemaker, now go home.”
“I can’t yet, I have to finish cleaning the kitchen. I don’t want anything that crawls migrating to my apartment.”
“I don’t have bugs.” Brian said. One of the cats walked by, a large bug in its mouth, clearly pleased with his catch.
“Right….” Justin said, eyeing up the cat and his catch. “You might want to get that thing away from Three before he eats it. Throw it over the balcony, I don’t want it in the building.”
“For someone who is in my space without an invitation, you’re very bossy.” Brian grumbled but he chased down the cat and removed the bug with a tissue, throwing both bug and tissue in the guest toilet, before flushing. Three stood on his hind legs watching the bug and the tissue swirl around before disappearing. He merrrowed at Brian twice before flouncing away, tail twitching.
In actual fact, Brian rather enjoyed having Justin show up at odd times, even if he did have OCD urge to clean which was driving Brian batty. “I could get a cleaning person in.”
“Yeah, and how would that work? You’d advertise for someone who would end up being a stranger to you, which you wouldn’t interview, because of the stranger thing. No doubt the men in black downstairs would try and put one of theirs in and you’d end up in a shit load of trouble. Which is, no doubt, why you haven’t tried to replace Sara and Fred.” Justin finished the last of tonight’s cleaning and stood up. “What’s for dinner, I’m starved.”
“I’m heating up something your mother left. You can do the same. I’m sure you have something stashed in your apartment.”
“I cleaned, you can feed me.” Justin pulled out two bottles of water from the refrigerator and handed one to Brian. “Have a water.”
“Go home.” Brian pulled out a frozen package wrapped in foil from the freezer.
“I’ll make a salad to go with what ever you’re unthawing.”
“What part of go home didn’t you understand?” Brian asked. “You can set the table.”
“I always set the table.” Justin griped, but found the plates and silverware. He arranged everything including a small vase of flowers he’d brought home earlier. “I was thinking.” Justin said and then paused. “It’s been awhile since all the knife stuff and blood and passing out. Don’t you think you should let me in on what in hell is going on?”
“No.” Brian checked the temperature on the oven, took his bottle of water and headed for the living room.
“I think you should. I mean I had to clean up after you. I need to know what to do if it happens again.” Justin followed him into the living room.
“It won’t happen again. It was a one time only mistake on my part.” Brian flicked on the television. “Go home.”
“I haven’t had my dinner yet.” Justin sat on the opposite end of the sofa, he leaned back against the arm and put his feet up so that they were touching Brian’s hip. “School was good today. I placed top with both my projects. One is going to be on display in the school foyer.”
“Good for you.”
“My friend Michael thinks we could make some decent money if we developed the comic book hero Rage, the gay superhero I was telling you about. I’d do the art work and Michael would write the stories.”
“I don’t read comic books.”
“Well neither do I. But I don’t have to read them to draw them. And anyway, graphic novels, that’s what comics are called these days, have become the in thing.”
“Not for me.” Brian continued to flip through the channels.
Justin combed through the fur on one of the cats that was now laying on his stomach. “You know, you could write one, a comic I mean, and I could illustrate it for you. It could be like one of those Japanese soft porn, gay anime things. They sell like hot cakes.”
“You’re full of bright ideas tonight. Don’t you ever stop thinking?” Brian turned hazel eyes to look at Justin.
“No. I’m young and I have an active mind.” Justin shrugged and then let out an ‘oomph’ when yet another cat landed on his stomach.
“Why are you still a virgin?” Brian asked out of the blue.
“Uh?” Justin said, not sure he’d heard right.
“You heard me.”
“I don’t know. I’m kind of not a virgin. I mean what’s a virgin anyway? It’s all relative. I mean I’ve fooled around some. Everyone has by the time they’re my age. Maybe not a lot, but some.” He shook his head and closed his eyes, not wanting to let Brian see how he felt about him. “I guess I just want my first time to be special and I haven’t had anyone interested in me enough to make it that way. I know it’s kind of girly, but that’s the way I feel.”
Brian turned his head away. He would never forget his first time. It was anything but special. Painful, horrifying and somehow disappointing, were more like the adjectives to describe what had been done to him. And he’d never forget it. He could understand Justin’s need for something special. He wished he’d had the chance to choose how and when his first time would be. “Stick to your guns kiddo, you’ll never forget your first time.”
“Was your first time special?” Justin asked. Brian rarely let him glimpse into his history.
“Not particularly.” Brian shrugged. “So do you have a boyfriend?”
“Duh, yeah sure, that’s why I hang out around you all the time.” Justin snorted, startling the cats on his belly. “Like that would happen. Besides, if I had a boyfriend, my mother would freak. She’s all about relationships and waiting until you know yourself before starting one. I think it’s because of dad. I mean she married him right out of school and she thought she knew him but she didn’t. It’s not like she would have chosen to marry a homophobic, bigoted, womanizer.”
“I suppose not.” Brian turned back to the television, his one hand unconsciously rubbing Justin’s feet that were now in his lap.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Years Before
“Pops, you’re serious about this.” Brian looked at the now frail old man who had become like a father to him.
“I am serious. There’s too much hatred in this city. I’ve done what I could to help, but Brian, I don’t have anything left in me now.” He sighed. “I’m not asking you to take up where I’m leaving. I only wanted you to know the secrets of this old lady, this Rosewood building. It’s going to be my legacy to you.”
Brian didn’t argue with Peter. He believed in being realistic and as much as it pained him, he knew the man’s days were numbered. “I don’t want the building.” He began.
“Of course you do. You love this old lady as much as I do. I can see it in your eyes when you polish the brass or make a repair.” He sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve arranged for the building to be put in your name. I did it weeks ago. I don’t have any family. You should have what I have rather than let the government get it. Hell, I’m sure your young mind can think of things to do with the money.” He chuckled and patted Brian’s hand.
“Now watch this.” Peter, who was sitting on a sofa, reached his hand down and pressed a carved design on the edge of a thick iron table that sat immovable close by.
Brian gaped as the cushion on the leather wing backed chair beside the fireplace rose exposing an opening. “What the fuck?” he whispered, hesitating but walking toward the chair.
“It won’t bite.” Peter laughed. “If you had to get away quickly, you would find yourself on a fast ride to the third floor, landing in a room hidden behind the elevator shaft.”
“How very….” Brian hesitated and then laughed. “Strange.”
“It’s actually a left over from the twenties. Rumor has it that a mob boss once owned my lady Rosewood. He has a number of these escape routes. You know a couple of them. Tonight I want you to see the rest.”
“Why now?” Brian asked. “You aren’t going anywhere and neither am I.”
“It’s the boy scout in me.” Peter chuckled and then he started to cough. It was a few minutes before he managed to get control of his breathing. “The stairs over there.”
“The ones going to the bedroom floor?” Brian looked at the formerly unnoticed stairway. “Nothing strange about the stairs that I can see.”
“Twist the third post from the end and then stand back a foot or so.”
Brian did as instructed. The staircase rose up revealing hidden stairs leading to a lower level. “Now that’s cool.” Brian grinned at his friend.
“What’s even more cool is the fact that the floor it leads to is completely hidden. The building was designed in such a way that the floor is actually unable to be found by any other way than this and the exit of course. Feel free to explore when you have the time. It’s virtually untouched down there since the day it was built.”
Brian looked down and then jumped back as the stairway began to slowly move back into place. “How much time do you have to get down the stairs?”
“Thirty seconds, but you can close it more quickly by twisting the third post at the bottom of the other stairs. That’s how you raise the stairs again. Of course you wouldn’t want to do that if anyone was in the apartment. It wouldn’t do to dump someone on their head.”
“No, I suppose not.” He looked around. “Any more surprises?”
“One or two.” Peter sighed. “But they are in my personal rooms. I’ll need you to help me up the stairs first.”
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dinner had been over for almost an hour. Justin had insisted on cleaning up the kitchen, sure Brian would never do it to suit him. Brian sat at the table with his computer, watching Justin when he knew he wouldn’t be observed. He was supposed to be correcting a piece of music Molly had emailed him, but her brother was where his mind was. He wondered about the vulgarities of life. And sighed with genuine regret that he was twelve years older than the man busy cleaning up in his kitchen. Like one of his novels, Justin evoked all the feelings he wrote about. There were times he actually felt like swooning like some kind of lovesick girl when he looked at the blond.
Maybe the blow to his head had been worse than he thought. His eyesight still wasn’t a hundred percent. And he was ravaged by headaches when he worked too hard in front of the computer screen. In fact it had been weeks since he’d felt ready to face the world once again and walk the night streets. He was getting too comfortable with this blond who didn’t know enough to go home when he was told.
“I’m done.” Justin seemed to materialize beside him. “Is that one of Molly’s songs?”
“Yes, I’m going through it and adding suggestions. It doesn’t need much tweaking. Your sister is very talented.”
“Yeah, it’s weird, she’s always been able to play anything she could get her hands on. But with me, I can’t even play with myself without losing rhythm. My mind wanders.” He giggled. “It’s like I’m making the right moves, but my mind starts to see some color, or shape, or I think of a smile or something and the next thing you know my dick is forgotten and I’m knee deep in paint.”
“You need to focus on some kind of muse.” Brian laughed. “I have to admit I’ve never heard of someone forgetting what he was doing when he’s jerking off.”
“It’s embarrassing, I have to admit.” Justin laughed and leaned over to kiss Brian quickly on the lips. “Gotta go, old man. I have homework. Thanks for dinner, see you tomorrow.” And then he was gone. So quickly Brian almost thought he’d found one of the secret routes to the lower level.
Brian stood up and made sure the lock on his door was secure. He never asked how Justin always managed to find his way inside, locked or not. He didn’t really want to know. Looking around, Brian had to admit his apartment was as clean or cleaner than when Sara and Fred were around. He had to smile at the small Justinisms that were here and there. A partially finished sketch of Brian’s hands was propped up on a makeshift easel. A note by the sink to wipe the water spots up when he used it. Like that was going to happen. He knew that when he made it to his office, his private office , where Justin would leave his homework, or notes on something he thought might interest Brian for a plot or just an idea to work into something he was already writing. Justin and the cats didn’t know about the words private office . And Brian was beginning to actually like finding a sleeping cat or a relaxing Justin, tucked in the corner when he turned around from an intense bout of writing.
Why was it, with Justin and Molly and even Jennifer, in and out of his apartment? Why was it he felt so damn lonely?
He knew he was attracted to Justin more than he should be. He was too old for the boy, well, young man. He’d been through too much, too fast and too hard, to be able to give the gentle person that Justin was, the kind of treatment, relationship that he deserved. It wasn’t just his insecurity that told him that, it was a hard realized fact. Brian rubbed the spot where he’d been knifed, his fingers tracing the scar, one of many on his body. Justin was perfect, while he, he was not even close.
Justin couldn’t help but smile as he headed to his own apartment. It was a long slow haul, but the seduction of Brian Kinney was actually working. He’d felt the longing in the older man’s kiss. It was just a matter of time before he had those Irish eyes smiling at him in the moonlight. As he did each time he left the apartment, he counted the stairs, it had begun as an idle game, but now it was serious. There were too many stairs between the lower floor of Brian’s apartment and the next apartment and the risers were at least an inch deeper between each step. In fact, by Justin’s estimate there were 10 too many, five extra, the landing, and five more extra. Which in Justin’s mind added up to a space at least 8 feet high that wasn’t accounted for. He had tried and tried to figure out what was wrong, and tonight he had to admit to himself that there was a hidden floor.
The ceiling height in a building where the ceilings were 12 feet tall on each level, was low, no doubt to disguise the fact that something was hidden. The walls between Brian’s level and the next one were in perfect condition, with no hidden seams or bumps. Justin couldn’t begin to imagine how the floor would be accessed. It was a mystery he was determined to solve.
The idea of having a secret place to be alone with his muse, Brian, not that he was going to tell the man that, intrigued Justin.
He was tired tonight. He wished with all his heart that he could fall asleep in his white room, wrapped in Brian’s arms. And once again he wished he could remember the man coming to his rescue the night he’d stayed upstairs.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jennifer was sitting at the kitchen table, her laptop open, but she was staring into the darkness of the backyard. She could hear Molly upstairs playing something she’d written. It was light and cheering and made her smile at the talent her daughter had.
She’d used the resources of her real estate company to research the Rosewood building’s ownership since it was built and was surprised to discover that Brian had owned it since his late teens. It had been purchased by him for the sum of one dollar from a Peter Moss. She knew from experience that the one-dollar transaction was more a paper transaction than an actual purchase. It was a way of circumventing a few tax rules and regulations and that in itself didn’t bother her, but Peter Moss did. Peter Moss had been in the headlines often when she was growing up. He lived a life that was often speculated on, but rarely did actual facts ever come to light. The man was wealthy beyond what most of Pittsburgh could imagine. One day he disappeared, only to be discovered when he passed away peacefully of natural causes in his home. The only real estate that could be his home had to be the Rosewood Building, though the man owned a great deal of Pittsburgh in one form or another.
A series of grisly murders had taken place around the time Peter Moss died, which effectively kept his demise from the press, so caught up were they in the Rent Boy Murders as they’d been called at the time. No one had cared to find out where Peter Moss’ money had gone. It was a well known fact that he had no family. And a lesser known fact was that he had once been a Rent Boy. The only reason Jennifer knew was because of her grand father. He’d been a lawyer and had once mentioned the fact to Jennifer’s father in her hearing. It was a well-known fact in certain social circles, that children and servants heard nothing that was discussed in their presence.
She was worried about her son and daughter, and worried about Brian. Perhaps somehow Peter’s death hadn’t been so peaceful and maybe the men watching the building were still involved. Though she wasn’t sure how. It worried her. Especially now when another boy had been found murdered on Liberty Avenue. It was only a matter of time before the press began to put the two cases together despite the years between them. It was after all, barely ten years since the last murder. And the murderer had never been caught.
Taking a chance that it wasn’t too late, Jennifer picked up the phone and dialed.
Justin looked at his call display and laughed. He wasn’t going to answer his mother while in the middle of fantasizing about Brian making love to him. Instead he turned the ringer off and continued to look up at his white ceiling, picturing Brian leaning over him. Naked, wet from a shower, and hard, damn hard.
Jennifer left an exasperated voice message. She knew Justin was home, he was always home at this time of night. Sighing, she dialed another number.
“Jennifer, I was just thinking about you.” Brian said with a smile in his voice as he answered the phone.
“Call display is good and bad.” She laughed. “I do believe my son just screened my call and turned off his phone.”
“His loss.” Brian smiled. “I was wondering if you and Molly would like to come to dinner on Saturday. I thought perhaps we could have Molly give us a mini recital with her music and my singing, such as it is. It would be a way for me to say thank you for your kindness.”
“Brian dear, I’m sure we’d love to be there. Though you’ll have to clear the recital with Molly, she doesn’t usually let me hear her music.”
“I’ve discussed it with her. She says she’s ready for you to hear some of our songs.” Brian huffed a laugh. “She loves to play.”
“Then we’ll be there.” Jennifer sighed. “Brian dear, how are you feeling, I worry about you?”
“Don’t worry about me Jennifer. I’m Irish, we always survive.”
“It’s not just survival I’m worried about.” She smiled. “I want you to be happy. I’d like you to find someone to love like in your books.”
“It’s always been a fantasy of mine. But fantasies are just that Jennifer, something imagined and usually unattainable. I’m afraid there’s been too much in my life to actually be able to survive a loving relationship with someone else. If it’s even possible for me to love. It’s only a word Jennifer, a four letter word at that.”
“But not a bad one Brian, the word love.”
“It’s all in how you look at it. I’ve been on the look out for just that. That elusive feeling I write about and put words to in describing, though I have no clue of the reality of it.” He laughed a cheerless laugh. “It’s not in the cards for the likes of me Jennifer. I came to that conclusion before I reached my daddy’s knee. It just not for the likes of me.”
Jennifer could hear the pain and longing in those words and she wanted to hold him like she would her own child, making the pain go away. And then she thought of her own son, Justin. He shied away from love almost like Brian. Though not because of a painful childhood, but more because of the betrayal of his father.
“Brian, have you had a chance to get to know Justin?”
“Pardon?” Brian was surprised at the question. “I suppose, the little brat is here all the time. He refuses to listen to me and insists on cleaning and hanging around.”
The cleaning part sounded like her son, but not the persistence in hanging around as Brian put it. She’d never known Justin to stay where he wasn’t wanted. “He is a bit on the stubborn side.” She said.
“No kidding. He’s here every night and insists I feed him. The other day I was finishing up a chapter and turned around and there he was, sketching on the leather chaise in my office. He was covered in cats. They don’t know how to stay out of the office either. I’d never even heard him come in.”
Jennifer smiled at the tone of Brian’s voice. He did like her son. “Justin is a rather unique young man. He has a lot of hidden talents. I know that if he ever falls in love, it will be forever, and trust me Brian, he won’t care about his love’s past. He’ll love with everything he has.”
“Oh.” Brian wasn’t sure what to say. “Uh, this is a rather strange conversation. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were…. were, well, presenting him to me like a future bride.”
“Hardly.” Jennifer laughed. “Can you imagine being married to such a stubborn young man? Brian, you wouldn’t stand a chance of staying quietly in your tower. He, no doubt, would drag you all over the world to see things he’d love to paint. He has no scruples, that boy of mine, when it comes to something he wants.” Which was why he was up in Brian’s apartment every night, which went unsaid, though Jennifer was sure a man of Brian’s intelligence would certainly figure out what she didn’t say.
“Well, I’m not in the market for a wife, or a husband for that matter. Besides, you do realize that Justin is twelve years my junior. In the first twelve years of my life, I’d been to hell and back three times over. It’s a long time Jennifer. Too damn long.”
“Goodness, Justin would shoot me if he even thought I was pushing his cause to you.” She laughed a tinkling laugh and Brian thought of her son and his laugh. “It’s just that kind of night, a night for what if’s and why for’s.”
“I know the feeling.” Brian was looking at a picture he’d taken of Justin one day when the artist had been standing in front of the big windows, framed in a summer sunset. He hadn’t printed it out, but kept it in a locked file on his hard drive. “I have to go Jennifer. I’m glad you called.”
“I’m glad I called too.” Jennifer said. “Goodnight, and Brian, I love you like one of my own.” Her voice was soft as a whisper.
Brian stared at the phone in his hands. He’d felt a rush of warmth go through his body when Jennifer had told him she loved him. She’d said it before, but he hadn’t paid any attention to the words. For some reason tonight he knew that she meant them. If she hadn’t, she never would have offered him her son. For that’s what she’d done, as strange as it was to think the thought.
He stood up and sighed. Fantasy was all his love life with a certain blond Justin Taylor would ever be.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Carl, I want to know.” Debbie looked at her boyfriend, lover, partner of the last few months. “I just have this feeling deep inside of me that it’s the same person. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“Honey, you know I can’t talk about an ongoing case.” He sighed and wrapped her in his arms. “But between you and me, you aren’t wrong.” There was so much he wanted to share with her, but he didn’t dare. He would die before he’d ever put her in danger. It was time to look up an old contact. He could use some help in solving this before it escalated like it had years ago. He just hoped the number he’d had tucked at the back of his wallet still worked.