The Road To Now – 2

FOUR YEARS IN THE FUTURE FROM ---- CHAPTER 1

“Jennifer, I can’t believe I did this to myself.” Brian looked at the bulky cast that encased his left leg from foot to hip. 

Jennifer, who had been sitting with him in the hospital, laughed. “I probably don’t want to know just how you managed to fall down that hard. And in a hotel room no less.” 

When he’d broken his leg, Brian had been feeling particularly vulnerable after the necessary surgery to repair it. In a moment of weakness he’d called Jennifer, who had insisted on flying to see if he was really okay. “I’m glad you came.” Brian admitted. “Though I feel kind of like I’d called my mommy to make it feel better.” He blushed as he said the words. 

“That’s what mothers are for.” She reached over and patted his hand. “Of course I have to come and make sure you really are in one piece.”

“One piece held together with rods in my leg.” Brian shook his head. “The doctor here has suggested I go to a convalescent home to recover like some old man. Fuck Jennifer, I’m not that old. I can deal with this at the loft. It’s just getting there that could be tricky.” 

They were in Provincetown where Brian had been taking a much-needed vacation.

The last four years had been hard on Jennifer Taylor. Justin had insisted that she keep his whereabouts quiet from Brian and the rest of the gang. It was a foolish request and one she argued about frequently. Made worse by the fact that as years went by, Justin became more and more reclusive, refusing to even consider dating let alone a relationship. She knew from his art work that he still had feelings for Brian. And she suspected from Brian’s relationship with her and Molly, that he too had feelings for Justin. 

“Brian, I have an idea. Now hear me out on this one. I have a friend who owns just such a place, a convalescent home of sorts. It’s actually quite a beautiful place. He designed it himself. Originally it was for his daughter, she had some medical problems and he felt she needed contact with other children in a less sterile environment than a hospital. Over the past few years it evolved into a place where anyone could go and recover. The rooms are bright and rather beautiful. There is a doctor who visits daily and registered nurses on hand. No one wears uniforms and it doesn’t smell of disinfectant or illness. They have a specially designed van to take their guests to and from whatever doctor or hospital in the area that they are receiving treatment.”

“Jen thanks, but I don’t really think being around a bunch of kids is going to help me.”

“Brian dear, there is only JB there at the moment. She’s four, almost five and quite a lovely and bright young lady. The other guests keep to themselves as is their right. It isn’t some kind of place where you’d be expected to actually speak to the other guests.” She laughed; Brian was the most antisocial person she knew. He was only comfortable with a few close friends. 

“No social dances, group hugs etc.” he asked with a laugh.

“No nothing like that. The owner of Mossby House keeps to himself in his own apartment at the top of the house. I call it his tower because it’s shaped a lot like a tower from some kind of medieval home. He has staff for everything.”

“He must be well off.” Brian laughed. 

“He’s comfortable. He discovered when his wife died that the paintings she’d done over the years had become rather valuable. He wanted to make a comfortable home for JB, yet have it for his own work. He refused to leave her with sitters, preferring to be her only caregiver. One thing led to another and Mossby House was built. It doesn’t actually pay for itself despite the rates to stay there, but he’s rather a successful author and an artist in his own right. He manages. You might have heard of his work. JB’s Adventures .

“No shit. Gus has all of the videos and the books. I heard they were making a movie too. For an author of kid’s books, he’s done rather well for himself.” 

“Like I said, he’s comfortable. He tends to invest his money back into Mossby House. What began as accommodation for three guests has morphed into something rather amazing that can have up to twenty guests at one time. I know I can get you a room there with an office. You can still run Kinnetik while you heal.”

Brian sighed and looked away. He’d been killing himself working too many hours just so that he’d be able to fall asleep exhausted, too tired to think of blond hair, blue eyes and lips that tasted sweeter than candy. He was like some sex starved high school girl and so he had to overcompensate so that only he knew what he was thinking all the time. The rest of the world would see him as Brian Kinney, sex machine and entrepreneur. “I’m not sure Jen…” he began. “What about Gus, I have him every weekend.”

“Brian, you’re just looking for excuses. Now I’m not trying to be your mother, but I know if you go home you won’t be able to get around and you’ll soon be frustrated and doing things that you shouldn’t be doing. If the doctor had wanted that he wouldn’t have hesitated to send you home. Six weeks at Mossby House will allow you to not only recover, but to regenerate. And since I happen to have an in with the owner, I’m sure I can bring Gus for the weekends. It’s not a hospital; it’s more like a guesthouse. Gus will love the grounds, there’s plenty of space to run, not to mention a pond with Koi and a few frogs, a few tree swings and even a tree house that is quite safe for climbing. I know he’s eight, but JB will entertain him. She just never stops.”

Brian laughed as he held up his hand to say stop. “You’re the best kind of nagging mom; you nag gently but with force.”

“Brian I know we started our relationship years ago on a rather shaky foundation. But over the years I’ve come to love you like a son. You and Gus are part of my family as far as I’m concerned.” She leaned over and gave Brian a kiss on his forehead. “Now rest. I’m going to make arrangements to have you stay at Mossby House. I’ll talk to your doctor so that he can have your discharge papers ready when the Mossby House van picks you up. If you make me a list of what you’ll think you’ll need. I can pick it up at the loft.”

“You don’t have to do all that Jen. I can have Ted or Cynthia…” he started. 

“Brian Kinney, didn’t I just tell you that you are family. This is what family does for one another. Your employees are NOT family.” 

Brian laughed again at Jennifer’s WASP voice and attitude. “Ted and Cynthia are more family than employees.” He admitted. “But I will accept your offer. Now if you can figure out a way to keep the rest of the family away for the six weeks.”

“Of course I understand, Debbie and the crew can be overwhelming. But a short visit near the end of your stay won’t hurt. I’m sure I can convince Deb to keep away the hordes until then.” Jennifer was delighted at her machinations. She’d wracked her brain for years in an effort to find a way to get Justin and Brian together again. 

After Jennifer left, Brian lay back in his bed, as comfortable as he could be considering his leg. He wondered what having six weeks of doing virtually nothing was going to be like. He’d never before indulged in a long vacation. Not that this was a vacation, but it could have been. If he’d just taken the time to whisk Justin off to one of those art saturated places in the world. Justin would have loved it and he would have as well. Hind sight was always twenty twenty. 

“Brian, I see you’re being transferred to Mossby House. I was surprised, they usually have a considerable waiting list.” Brian’s doctor had walked into the room, chart in hand. 

“Really?” Brian asked. “A friend of mine knows the owner. She said she’d have no problem getting me in.”

“That’s great. I have to say of all the places I have on my list, that one is at the top of it. My biggest problem is getting a patient to leave once they’re there.” He laughed. “In fact, there’s been the odd time or two I’ve stayed there myself for a few days. There’s something about it that demands relaxation.” 

“Interesting. I look forward to staying.”

“I see you’re down for six weeks. That should take you up to when we change your cast for something more reasonable that you’ll be able to handle with crutches. Until then Brian, I’m afraid you’ll really have to accept help from the staff. I know how you hate the thought, but I’m afraid it’s going to be necessary.” The doctor sat down on the chair next to Brian’s bed. “Now with Mossby House, they operate under the theory that their guests have one or two working brain cells. Which means that when you leave here, you’ll be given prescriptions for the necessary meds you’re going to need. I’ll be continuing to moderate your progress as will Doctor Chanders, who is the on call doctor for Mossby House.”

“So I don’t need to call helplessly from my sick bed for more pain meds?” Brian asked, his words tinged with sarcasm. 

“That’s right. You take them when you need them. Take too many and you’ll feel no pain forever. You’re an adult.” He stood up. “I’ll see you in a couple of days, once you’re settled in at Mossby House.”

“One more question, the name of the place. Why does it sound somewhat familiar?” Brian asked. 

“It was named for Kaitlyn Mossby, the artist. Since her art and her estate financed the major portion of the rest home. Of course the name was picked long before the actual buildings became a reality. Building the place was a labor of love for her husband, for both her husbands actually. When word got out about the building, some of the guys who’d served with him in Iraq leant their labor to keep building costs at a minimum. It’s a real statement to Kaitlyn’s new husband that her late husband’s buddies would do this.” 

Brian and his doctor talked for a few more minutes before Brian was once again on his own. This time with lots to think about. He had been sure Justin was living with an artist called Mossby when he’d disappeared from his radar more than four years before. Could that be why Jennifer knew the owner, could the owner be Justin?

It made sense, yet it didn’t make any sense. Brian picked up the phone and called Kinnetik. If anyone could find out the scoop on Mossby House, Ted could. 

The trip to the clinic took more out of Brian than he cared to admit. It was one thing contemplating the trip from his hospital bed with a comfortable dose of pain killers in his system and quite another to face the reality of moving from his bed to wheel chair, wheel chair to van, back to wheel chair, and back to bed. And then somehow finding the strength to slip on a robe before collapsing on his new bed. 

He paid no attention to the bustling nurse who took his temperature and blood pressure before settling him into his bed. “I need my pain pills.” He managed to voice, his eyes shut tight as he tried to control what he was feeling. “They should be in my toiletries bag.” 

“Your doctor ordered a shot for you after your move. He thought you should save the meds for later.” 

“Shoot me please.” Brian sighed. “This hurts like a motherf… sorry, you know what I mean.”

The nurse laughed. “No problem, I’ve heard worse, but if you don’t mind, keep the profanity to your room. Now this is going to pinch.” She swabbed his arm before making the injection. “I’ll see that your lunch is delayed while you rest. When you are ready to look around, let me know. I’ll find someone to take you on a tour.”

“I’m not going anywhere for a few days.” Brian mumbled, enjoying the flush of numbness that was overwhelming his mind. He felt the nurse pull a blanket up over him and listened as she closed the drapes and turned down the lights before leaving him alone. Jennifer had been right. It didn’t have a hospital smell. And from the little he was able to notice about the room, it was tastefully decorated in clean modern lines. His fingers rubbed cool sheets as he drifted off to sleep. He could tell that the sheets were fine Egyptian cotton, certainly not hospital issue.

Justin didn’t often check the roster of guests in Mossby House. He had other things to do. But his mother had insisted he find a place for her friend. It was such an unusual request for his mother to make. 

The name Brian Kinney flashed across the computer monitor felt like knife hitting him in the heart. He groaned he was in so much emotional pain. Pain he’d done his best to repress over the last few years, but a pain like some kind of chronic illness that would never go away. And like a person faced with that pain, Justin began to read about Brian and why he was at Mossby House. Ashen face and barely holding himself together, Justin slowly read the words on the screen. What he failed to notice was a small red haired girl who was sitting quietly on the hallway floor, watching her father. 

When the phone rang a few minutes later, Justin wasn’t surprised to see it was his mother. “Mom what have you done?” he asked.

“Justin, I know I said I’d never interfere with you and Brian. But you asked me to watch out for him and you know how close we are now. When Brian broke his leg and needed someplace to recover, of course I thought of Mossby House. The poor man works himself to death. He needs this time to recover and to learn to slow down. You don’t need to worry. You never see the guests and he can hardly walk up to your tower.”

“But mom, you know ….”

“I do know what Justin. I know that you love him and he loves you. Know that you’re too damn stubborn to admit you need him. Know that he’s desperately in love with you and always has been, so my heart aches every time I see him.”

“Mom, he was the one who wouldn’t commit. He was the one who refused to tell me how he felt.” 

“And you did. You told him each and every day you loved him. You told him how much he meant to you.”

“Mom, you know I couldn’t do that. Brian wouldn’t want to hear me say that kind of thing over and over.”

“How do you know that? Because he told you never to tell him you loved him? Or because he was too broken to tell you himself how he felt.” She sighed. “Justin, I’m not telling you what to do. I just want you happy and I know you aren’t happy right now.”

“That’s not true mom.” Justin said, though he knew he was speaking a lie. He’d been happy, he’d been in love, he’d loved and laughed and did all the things any young gay boy should do. But it had gotten him nowhere. Nowhere that wasn’t filled with hurt and pain. 

But now he was getting his life on track. His books sold, he had a Saturday morning cartoon filled with his characters and now this movie coming up. He’d be able to continue to finance Mossby House for years on what the movie would bring. He didn’t need Brian back into his life.

“Justin, do whatever your heart tells you to do. I’ll be there tomorrow to see that Brian is settled in. Why don’t you invite me for supper?” 

“You’ve been hanging around Deb far too long mom.” Justin laughed, resigned to his mother’s attempts to manipulate his life. “You don’t need to drive here, don’t you have a job?”

“I never mind taking time out to see you and JB dear. And this time I get to se Brian as well. I’ll spend the day and go home early in the morning.”

“What about Molly?” 

“Molly is a big girl dear. I’m sure she’ll survive without her mother for twenty-four hours. At least she doesn’t head down to Liberty Avenue every chance she gets.”

“Ha, that’s what you think.” Justin teased, feeling a bit better. Just because Brian was here, didn’t mean he’d have to actually talk to him or even see him. It was a big place after all. And like his mother pointed out, he rarely ventured down to where the guests were.

JB watched her father hang up the phone before she ventured into his study and quietly climbed up on his knee. “Hey JB” Justin said kissing the top of her head. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” 

“I can’t sleep.” 

“Are you thirsty?” 

“No, just worried.” She sighed. “Daddy, if that man makes you sad you should tell him we’re all full up.” 

“You’ve been watching me again.” He tickled her under her chin making her giggle.

“That’s how kids find things out.” 

“Well, don’t worry about me. The man is an old friend. He isn’t a bad man, just a man I used to know.”

“Before you met mommy and daddy?” 

“Yes, before I met your mommy and daddy.”

“He’s very handsome you know.” 

“How do you know?” 

“I watched them put him in his room. He said a bad word and Nurse Kelly said he was to watch his bad words.” 

“He says lots of bad words.” Justin chuckled, remembering the Brian he once knew. “I imagine his leg is making him say more.” 

“He’s very skinny. Nurse Kelly told me they were going to try and fatten him up.” 

“Good luck on that one.” Justin said. “I’m afraid he is rather concerned about his weight. Or he always used to be.”

“Oh.” JB thought for a few minutes. “Maybe you could cook something yummy.”

“Wouldn’t that hurt Cook’s feelings?” Justin asked. “She likes to do all the cooking.”

“I could ask her if it was okay.” JB’s eyelids were getting low. She was tired but hated to admit it. 

“Why don’t you just wait and see. Nanny is coming tomorrow.” 

“Cool, Nanny said she was bringing me new colored pens the next time she visits.” 

Justin had nothing to say to that. He remembered his own desire for every color ever produced. JB was destined to be an artist. Carrying JB into her room and tucking her in, Justin reflected on the last few years. They’d had some tough times but they were more than offset by the good ones. He didn’t have Brian, but he had a daughter and a purpose in life with Mossby House. He wasn’t a great artist, but he was a well-known children’s book author and graphic designer and he could sketch and paint in his free time. And even selling one or two every now and then. 

Unable to resist, Justin headed down the stairs to find Brian’s room. He checked at the nurse’s station to see when he was admitted and to check the medication given. He knew that Brian’s doctor would have made sure the man was comfortable and that he would have been discharged with his prescriptions filled. “Mr. Kinney is sleeping right now Justin.” The nurse said with a smile.

“That’s okay, he’s an old friend. I’m going to look in on him before bed. I won’t wake him up.” Justin smiled at his friend and employee. “And if you don’t mind, please don’t mention to him that I was checking on him. Brian is a rather private person. He’d hate to think I was looking at him when he wasn’t at his best.”

Justin walked to Brian’s room. He wasn’t sure if he should be doing this to himself, taking the chance to see the man he still loved. Maybe he’d built him up into something larger than life, when in reality he was only a man after all. The lights were low, only the small night light near the head of the bed glowed and then faintly. Brian was sleeping on his back, furrows of pain showing in his forehead. Justin knew the man preferred to sleep on his side, but it was going to be awhile before he’d be able to do that. Maybe he could arrange for a special body pillow to be brought in where at least he could lean slightly on his good side. 

Reluctant footsteps took him to the side of the bed. He put his hands in his pockets to keep them from touching Brian’s face. He wanted to smooth the pain lines away and replace them with soft touches and gentle kisses the way Brian had done for him so long ago. Justin watched Brian’s restless sleep for almost an hour, before leaning in and letting his lips barely brush the other man’s, before stealing back the way he came, to the sanctuary he’d created for himself. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Brian’s first night at Mossby House had passed without any problems. For some reason he slept better than he had at the hospital. No doubt he figured, because it was more like a luxury hotel than a sterile hospital. The male nurse who arrived bright and early to help him with his toilet was matter of fact and friendly. There was no need for embarrassment despite the fact he had to be helped to do almost everything. The man seemed to know when to talk and when to shut up, Brian appreciated this more than he’d wanted to admit. 

“Mr. Kinney, I thought you might like to use this when you’re sleeping. It should help you turn more on your side to sleep.” It was his morning nurse, Kevin, with a long body pillow covered in beige ultra suede. Obviously not something that was common to the hospice.

“Oh?” Brian had never actually used a body pillow, though this one looked like something he’d be willing to have in his home. 

“It’s down filled to provide gentle support.” Kevin smiled. “If you’d like, I’ll show you how to use it.” 

“I can figure it out.” Brian grumbled. “I’m not a fucking invalid.” Though he was and they both knew it. 

“Have you taken your pain meds yet this morning?” Kevin asked as he refilled Brian’s pitcher of ice water and made sure he had a clean glass. 

“Not yet. I don’t need them.” But he did need them, he just didn’t like the way they made him feel, so out of control. It was one thing to be high at Babylon and quite another to be high when he was helpless. The irony wasn’t lost on him. 

Since he was confined to bed for the day and Jennifer hadn’t brought his laptop yet, Brian lay back, bored. He pulled the body pillow up and leaned into it. It was rather comfortable. He’d have to make sure Jennifer found out who had thought of it. Could it have been Justin? The blond knew he hated to sleep on his back.

His eyes shut and he was drifting off to sleep when he felt someone standing beside his bed. Brian opened one eye to look into chocolate brown eyes that barely reached the height of his high bed. “Are you my daddy’s old friend?” she asked.

“I don’t know who your daddy is?” Brian answered. 

“Daddy.” She said and pulled up a chair, scrambling up on the chair so she could climb on his bed. “My names Thomasina Kaitlyn Mossby Erickson Taylor, but you can call me JB for short.”

“Wow, that’s some name.” Brian grinned. “But I don’t see how you get JB out of Thomasina Kaitlyn Mossby Erickson Taylor.” 

“Well it stands for Jelly Bean.” She shrugged. “It doesn’t make sense to me either, but it does to daddy.” 

“What’s your daddy’s name, I mean other than daddy.” 

“Oh, his name is Justin Craig Taylor the third, but he doesn’t like the third part. He doesn’t even like the Craig part. He likes daddy best, he told me.”

“Well, he sounds like someone I used to know.” Brian admitted.

“Maybe you should go home then, cause you make my daddy sad.” She leaned back on his pillow. “This is my favorite room. It was the room I was in when I had my last operation. See…” she pulled up her tee shirt revealing a long scar down her chest. “My daddy said it adds character. Do you have a scar too?” she sat up and looked down at his plaster encased leg. “Oh cool, you have a big metal thingy in your leg. I bet that really hurts. It hurt when I had my stitches, but my daddy kissed it and made it better.” She cocked her head to one side and looked up at Brian. “Maybe he can kiss your leg and make it better.”

“Maybe.” Brian said, amused at her chatter. “You remind me of my little boy. He talks all the time too.”

“Is he going to come and visit you?” 

“Yes, he’s coming on the weekend. He’s going to sleep on the sofa over there.” Brian pointed. “He’s eight years old and his name is Gus.”

“Oh, like Gus in the books. Gus is JB’s friend in my daddy’s books. They have lots and lots of adventures and Angel Kat and Angel Tommy make sure they don’t get into trouble. My daddy writes the books. Angel Kat and Angel Tommy are really my mommy and daddy, but Gus and I don’t really do all the things daddy writes about. He says it’s just stories that could be but aren’t. Isn’t that kind of silly?” she leaned back again. “JB and Gus have done lots and lots of things. We’ve been in the hospital and we’ve rescued puppies and we went to Mexico and to the zoo. It’s imaginary adventures.” She pronounced, “Not real.” 

“You two sure have been busy.” Brian laughed. 

“Daddy was just trying to make me laugh. I had a sick heart and couldn’t do stuff, so daddy made adventures for me. They’re like the best adventures in the whole world.”

“Did it work, did you laugh?” Brian asked. 

“Sometimes, sometimes I cried too, but I mostly laugh.” She sighed. “Is Gus the same age as me? In the books he’s four years older than me.”

“That sounds about right. Gus is eight, almost nine.” 

“Does he have pretty hair like yours and sparkly green eyes?” she asked. “And is he taller than me and have a dog called Jim?” 

“No dog called Jim, but everything else sounds right.” Brian winced as the pain in his leg began to get through to him. He leaned over and shook two of his pills into his hand and then gulped them with water. “I have to sleep now JB.” He said as he leaned back and shut his eyes. “Maybe we can talk later.” 

“That’s okay, I have to have a nap too.” She wiggled until she was under the heavy blanket on Brian’s bed. “I’ll have my nap with you so if you need anything you can wake me up and I’ll get it for you. Daddy doesn’t mind, he’s got your picture beside his bed. I was just testing you to see if you were his friend. Your name is Brian Kinney, I saw it in daddy’s journal.” She snuggled close to Brian, closed her eyes and in seconds was asleep. 

Brian looked down at the sleeping red headed moppet. “Justin Taylor, I’m beginning to understand why you couldn’t come back.” He whispered before he too fell asleep, though not before wrapping his arm around the child to make sure she wouldn’t fall off the high bed.

JB slept for an hour. She woke up relaxed, loving the feeling of being cuddled by her daddy’s friend. She looked over and saw her father sitting in the chair next to the bed. She put her finger to her lips and said “Shhhhh” before sitting up gently and holding her arms out to her father to lift her up.

Justin picked up his daughter, leaned over and straightened the blankets around Brian’s shoulders before carrying her from the room. Justin shut the door to Brian’s room before speaking. “JB, you know the rules about going into the guest’s room.” He began.

“But daddy, he’s your friend.” She protested. 

“JB, you don’t know that. You can’t be getting into bed with strangers.”

JB giggled. “He isn’t a stranger; his picture is beside your bed. Aaaannnnnd… he said he knew you.” She cocked her head when she looked at Justin. “Brian is very nice and he has a boy called Gus like my books. Is Brian’s Gus the Gus in my stories?” 

“Maybe.” Justin carried her up the stairs into their own quarters. 

“Brian says he doesn’t have a dog called Jim.” 

“Well maybe he should have.” Justin said with a smile. “Now JB, no more visiting the guests unless you’re invited. And no more getting into bed with them.”

“Brian isn’t a guest, he’s a friend.” She tilted her chin up stubbornly.

Justin had to bite back a smile; she looked so much like Kaitlyn did during some of the arguments they used to have. How could he refuse her anything? So much for keeping his presence unknown to Brian. 

“Justin, JB, I wondered where the two of you had disappeared.” Jennifer walked into the room. “I put my things in my room but couldn’t find the two of you anywhere.”

“I was having my nap with Brian.” JB said, running to her grandmother for a hug and a kiss. “He’s got a broken leg with a great big piece of metal sticking right through one side and out the other. It’s kind of gross, but I didn’t tell him that.” 

Jennifer looked over JB’s head at Justin, questioning with her eyes.

“Don’t ask.” He tried to grumble since he knew his mother had manipulated Brian into his life once again. 

“Don’t be angry dear. Brian needed a good, comfortable place to stay near the hospital and your place is, after all, the best. You know how Brian likes the best of everything.”

“But mom, did you have to bring him here. You know I’m going to end up having to talk to him and frankly, I don’t want to. I don’t need the grief or aggravation.”

“Now you know that he never did anything to you but be loving and supportive. I don’t understand why you felt you had to leave him just when things were working out so well between the two of you.” 

“Mom, stay out of it. Things weren’t working for the two of us. Brian wanted something different out of our relationship than I did. It doesn’t mean we didn’t have feelings for one another, it just meant we couldn’t stay the way we were. One or the other of us would have ended up hating the other. It was better that I left when we were still friends. And look, I have JB now; I would never have had that. Things have a way of working out.”

“Yes they do.” She smiled at him. “You aren’t too old to consider your life at a standstill. Things can change. Maybe there’s hope for the two of you now. After all, he is a captive audience, he can’t run away and neither, my dear, can you.” 

“Now I know you’ve been hanging around Debbie too much, you’ve become an Italian mother without my realizing.” He laughed. “Lunch time ladies, no time for all of this heavy talk. I have turkey sandwiches on freshly baked multi grain bread and for dessert, chocolate cake.”

“And ice cream.” JB piped up. “Vanilla.” She licked her lips. “Can Brian have some too?” 

“He’s sleeping.” Justin smiled as he headed into the kitchen. But he had taken the sandwich he’d prepared down to the kitchen near Brian’s room, along with a very small piece of cake. That’s what he’d been doing when he discovered his absent daughter. When Brian woke up, he’d have a nice lunch.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It was after one before Brian’s full bladder dragged him from his much needed sleep. With reluctance he rang for Kevin. “I have to piss.” He barked when Kevin appeared. “Fuck, I’ll be glad when I don’t help for every damn little thing.” 

“It sucks, that’s for sure.” Kevin agreed. Soon he had Brian tidied up and as comfortable as he could be. “Would you like to sit by the window? We have a rather comfortable chair that provides the right support and will let you sit up.”

“I’m not sitting in this.” Brian pulled at his pajama top that was slightly the worse for wear.”

“Oh, I have some fresh pajamas. Jennifer arrived with quite the little fashion bundle.” Kevin grinned. “Black silk no less and what’s more, they’ve been tailored to allow for your cast. She’s brought five pair along with a rather lovely quilted silk robe that only comes to your ass. I suppose so you can sit with it on.” 

“Jennifer is here?” Brian asked. “How do you know her?” 

“Oh Jennifer Taylor is here fairly often, she dotes on Miss JB. The poor little thing is in bed recovering from one procedure after another. Jennifer likes to be here when JB is confined to bed. In this very room I might add. It’s JB’s favorite of all our guest rooms.”

“So I’ve heard.” He paused. “Just what’s wrong with JB?” 

“I shouldn’t gossip, but she doesn’t mind showing off her scars. In fact I think she’s rather proud of them. She calls them battle scars.” He grinned at Brian as he expertly helped the other man dress. “JB was born with heart problems, rather severe ones inherited from her mother or so it’s thought. She had her first surgery when she was barely two days old. Jennifer told me that Justin stayed with her in the nursery for almost six weeks, only leaving if Jennifer took over. He didn’t want anything to happen to JB when she was alone. But of course she was never alone; the little thing has a way of making anyone who sees her, take her into their hearts.” He laughed. “JB is quite brilliant you know, far more so than the average four year old. She’s been reading since she was three.”

“Is she alright now?” Brian asked as he straightened his new pajamas, rather pleased with Jennifer’s choice. Her absences now made sense to him. He’d never asked when she was out of town, just assumed it was business, or perhaps a visit to Justin, whom they never talked about.

“She had a surgery a few months ago and I believe one more when she’s older should fix her up. It’s amazing, the developments in the medical field these days. Of course her mother didn’t have the same advantages and she died. JB should be able to live a normal life with babies and someone who loves her.” He stood back and looked at Brian. “I pronounce you ready for the move to your chair. I’ll bring lunch once you’re settled in.” 

“Wonderful.” Brian’s tone was slightly sarcastic, but he knew he’d go insane if he had to spend another full day in bed. If Jennifer had arrived, then so had his laptop. He could finally be in touch with the world of business. Ted and Cynthia had been pretty good about keeping him updated, but he suspected they only told him what they thought was good for him. Once he had his computer up and running, he could get into Kinnetik’s computer system and find out for himself. 

Transferring to the rather elaborate leather chair by the window wasn’t something Brian wanted to do often. He laid his head back and did his best to control his breathing and his pain, while Kevin fetched his lunch. A lunch he wasn’t looking forward to. His appetite was almost non existent since his accident. Hospital food wasn’t on his favorite list.

“Well aren’t you the lucky one.” Kevin announced as he wheeled in a table designed to fit over the chair. 

Brian was surprised to see a white linen place mat, a fine china plate holding what had to be a turkey breast sandwich on multi grain bread. And from the smell, it was freshly baked multi grain. There was a green salad that looked more interesting than most that had been tossed with an oil and vinegar dressing, a plate with a sliver of double chocolate cake, just a taste really. And a carafe of coffee with an accompanying sugar bowl, but no cream. The mug matched the china plates and the silver ware was sterling. “Is this the way you feed all your guests?” Brian asked.

“We do have a rather wonderful cook, but no, your lunch was specially prepared.” He grinned. “This is Justin’s personal china and silver, so I suspect he made sure you had what you especially liked. Your chart does say your appetite hasn’t been the best. I took the liberty of tossing the salad, but the rest was all Justin.” 

“You call him by his first name. Isn’t he your boss?” Brian picked up the sandwich after unfolding his linen napkin and spreading it on his lap. 

“In a way I suppose he is.” Kevin shrugged. “But he’s my friend more than my boss. I’ve known him since before his wife died. I shared their apartment. When he built Mossby House, I came with him. I’m a registered nurse and an artist. Or is that artist and then nurse.” He laughed. “Whatever I am, it works out good for both of us, it always has. My partner is HIV positive. We have a small house on the grounds. It’s nice to know that if Peter needs medical attention, it’s close at hand. Peter works on the grounds. It’s his passion in life to make things grow.” He looked around to satisfy himself that Brian’s room was tidy and that Brian was eating. “I’ll leave you to your lunch.” 

Brian had finished his sandwich and salad. He was eating his cake and drinking his coffee that tasted a lot like the blend he used at home when Jennifer knocked before coming in. “Brian dear, you’re looking more like yourself.” She carried his laptop case over to him, putting it on the floor beside his chair, before bending down to give him a quick hug and a kiss. “Are you ready to strangle me like Justin was?” she asked with a grin as she recognized the china and silver. 

“Thanks for the pj’s.” Brian replied, ignoring her question. 

“They’re a gift from the gang at Kinnetik, the robe is from me.” She laughed. “They want their boss to look good.” 

“They want their boss to ignore what they’re doing with his company.” Brian huffed. “I’m just a little bit pissed about your secret life with JB. I thought you and I were friends.”

“We’re more than friends Brian dear, you’re my other son.” She sighed and kneeled beside his chair. “Brian, you have to understand, Justin asked, no demanded, that I keep BJ and his life a secret. He was so confused about things. I didn’t want to risk him disappearing from my life. After awhile it was too late to tell you without hurting you. I really hated keeping you from this part of my life. Do you understand?” her hand was on his arm.

Brian sat in silence for a moment. “I understand Jennifer; it hurt a bit a first. I find it hard to trust, and I’ve trusted you from the beginning. But I know Justin well, better than he realizes. I understand the kind of demands he’d put on you, thinking he was doing the best for me and, for that matter, himself.” 

Jennifer stood up and pulled a chair over near Brian’s. “I hope you do understand. It’s a like a giant boulder has been lifted from my shoulders now that you know. And I understand you’ve met my little BJ, what did you think?” 

“She’s beautiful Jennifer.” Brian smiled. “I’m sure you’re very proud of her.” 

“I am, there are times when my heart could burst with pride.” She smiled, reminiscing about the young girl. 

“And Justin, how is he really?” Brian made himself ask for the first time in four years. “Is he well, is he happy?”

“Justin is healthy and satisfied with the life he’s made for himself.” She hedged. 

“Is he happy?” Brian asked, his voice low.

“He thinks he is.” She sighed. “But he isn’t the Justin he was when he was with you. He misses you. I know he does. He never stopped loving you, not for one moment. I can see it in his eyes and in the work he does in his studio.” She looked deep into Brian’s eyes. “I really didn’t want to meddle in your lives, but when you broke your leg, it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up.” 

“Making lemonade from lemons?” Brian laughed. 

“Something like that. Don’t be angry. I want you both happy. If you and Justin find each other again during the next six weeks, it would be wonderful. And if you both find that your memories of the past are all you need, then you both can move forward with your life.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Brian mused, finishing the last bite of his cake and wiping his lips. “I know I’ve missed his cooking.” His grin was full of mischief, making Jennifer’s heart leap. She hadn’t seen that look in Brian’s eyes for a long, long time.

“Nanny, isn’t Brian handsome?” JB ran into the room. “Hi Brian, your pajamas are really cool. I have pink ones with bunnies. Daddy can get you some with bunnies. Black is kind of gloomy. Pink is a happy color.” She looked at his chair. “Can I sign your cast? I have new colors. Nanny brought them for me.” 

Brian laughed at her exuberance. “Does she ever stop?” he asked Jennifer.

“Not often.” She smiled and pulled JB onto her knee. “JB sweetie, I’m not so sure Brian would want his nice clean cast to have drawings all over it.” 

“Just a few little ones, I could do bunnies and a dog and maybe some flowers.” She looked at Brian. “I’m going to be a famous artist just like my mommy. I’m really very good now. My pictures will be pretty, not like some little kid. I’m four years old you know.” 

“I’ll consider it.” Brian answered. 

“My daddy said I wasn’t supposed to have my naps with you. He said I should be considerate of your injury.” She reached over and patted Brian’s hand. “I wouldn’t hurt your leg, I promise. You give the very best hugs in the whole wide world. You give hugs just like my daddy. Your hugs make me feel all warm and safe and snuggly like a bunny.”

Brian didn’t know what to say. “I…” he stumbled “I like your hugs too.”

“Do my hugs make you feel like a snuggly bunny?” she asked. 

“I was thinking yours feel like a snuggly bunny; I’m more a big bad bear.” He made a scary face and lifted his arms, making his hands into bear claws.

JB and Jennifer laughed. “Brian Kinney, I do believe you hit the nail on the head. I always thought of you as big old grumbly bear with a heart of gold.” Jennifer teased. 

“What’s a man have to do to get some respect around here?” 

“Is that a rhetorical question?” Justin asked from the door. “Hello Brian, sorry about your leg.”

“Hey Sunshine.” The old name was said with a hint of nostalgia. Brian ducked his head in a nod of greeting. “Don’t I deserve at least a peck on the cheek? It’s been four years, seven months, three days and.” he looked at the clock by his bed. “Eight hours, we’ll forget about the minutes and seconds.”

Justin flushed but he walked to Brian’s chair to lean in and kiss him hello. “Thirty two minutes.” Justin whispered as he brushed his lips over Brian’s “Thirty two minutes.”