Breaking Rules Chapter 2 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ “Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?” Gus kissed his father on the cheek and held out his hand for the keys. “Gus, that car is older than you are and needs a gentle hand. I don’t know.” “Come on Dad, you aren’t going anywhere, Cynthia already told me you were working late in the studio tonight.” Justin looked sad. It was true. He was working late. Brian never called and Tuesday he found himself waiting around in the hope that maybe the younger man would show up unexpectedly. It was stupid and he knew it. But there had been something about him, something different. Justin shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts that were going through his mind and he dug out his keys from his pocket. “Behave yourself Gus. I want it back in the same condition I gave it to you and fill the gas tank this time.” “You’re the best Dad.” Gus grinned. His smile was identical to his father’s and he blew him a kiss as he ran out the door. “You spoil that boy.” Cynthia said shaking her head. “No, I love him.” Justin said quietly. “I just love him.” “I know you do boss, now are you going to tell me why you’ve been moping around here all day yesterday and today?” “No I’m not telling you anything. I’m a big boy and have to learn to deal with life’s disappointments all on my own. But thanks for asking.” Justin smiled at her gratefully. “Is it about that hottie you ran into on the weekend?” she asked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Cynthia walked over to the covered easel in the corner and pulled off the protective sheet. “This guy.” Brian looked out at them both as Justin first saw him leaning insolently against the wall in the busy party room. His muscles cut and his eyes filled with the knowledge of the ages. “I’d say he was a definite hottie.” “Cover him back up Cynthia; I don’t want to think of him right now.” Justin turned his back and walked away. It was stupid having feelings like this for a man he’d just met. A man eleven years his junior and a whore no matter how prettily the Quoin tried to dress it up. “I’ll cover him up boss, but if I ever see him on the street I’m going to kick his ass for making you feel bad. You don’t deserve it.” She pulled the sheet back over the large canvas and the walked over and gave Justin a quick hug. “You’ll find someone to love, it just takes time.” She whispered. She knew that he’d been looking for love for years, though he’d never admit it. “I’ve got a good life, I don’t need any complications and believe me that boy is one big walking talking complication.” “What’s his name?” Cynthia was testing her friend. He never learned their names. “Brian, his name is Brian.” Justin’s voice was hoarse. He walked out of the back room and into the salon to wait on a customer who had just walked in. “So you know his name eh Boss.” Cynthia thought. “I wonder if I’ll ever meet you Brian.” She said to the picture after taking a quick peek again. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Gus studied the map he’d taken from his Dad’s pocket earlier that day. He’d been gathering up the dry cleaning and emptying the pockets, his dad was the absolute worst for leaving stuff in them. As soon as he saw the map he knew what he had to do. Conscious of every bump his Dad’s precious car was driving over, Gus turned into the long driveway. He followed the drive around to the back to the car park. Sure enough there were a row of cottages there and from what he remembered of his conversation with Brian that night; Brian’s cottage was the one on the end. Steeling himself for a battle, Gus got out of the car and carefully locked it. He squared his shoulders and walked with a determined stride to Brian’s front door where he knocked loudly. “It’s my fucking day off, go away.” Brian called from inside. “Tough shit Brian, open the door and let me in.” Gus called back. Gus could hear a chair scrape on the floor as Brian shoved it back and then the door was thrown open. “Who the fuck are you and what do you want?” Brian’s voice was cold and hard. He looked at Gus who stood eye to eye with him. “Oh you, I don’t do anyone twice, now fuck off.” He turned his back to Gus and started to shut the door. “Look you bastard, you damn well will listen to me.” Gus shoved past Brian and slammed the door shut. Immediately the phone rang and Brian grabbed it. “What?” he paused and listened. “No don’t bother; the little boy won’t be staying long.” He turned and sneered at Gus. “No one and I mean no one is allowed in here uninvited.” Brian roared at Gus as he slammed the phone down. “Why didn’t you call my father? Were you just blowing smoke up his ass? Because if you were, I’m going to punch your fucking face in. My father deserves better treatment than that.” Gus stood in front of Brian, his face red with anger, his fists clenched by his sides. “Down tiger, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” Brian moved back to his computer where he’d been trying to work, though the vision of blue eyes swam before him. He was shaken because Gus’s eyes were just like his father’s and blazing mad and he knew why, no matter what he said to the kid. “My father invited you to the gallery, he told me. For some reason known only to him he thought you two had some kind of connection. I should have known you were just leading him on. It’s all part of the price isn’t it? Make the trick feel important. Make him want more. Only my Dad isn’t just a damn trick. He’s my dad and he has never been interested in any one before and now for the first time he is and it has to be you. It fucking makes me sick.” Gus could feel tears of rage and frustration behind his eyes and he turned his back so Brian wouldn’t see. “Why, because I fuck for money, because I’m nothing more than a glorified street hustler?” Brian remembered Morgan’s words. “Do you really think Dad or I give a shit – boy you’re more fucked in the head than I thought.” Gus turned back. “Because you deliberately hurt my Dad, that’s why you make me sick. He told me what happened and how you guys talked.” Gus deflated. “Look, Brian, I’m sorry, but seeing my Dad’s feelings hurt like this, it kills me. I guess it was pretty stupid of him at his age to think you’d maybe want to be friends. I guess guys do this all the time, read more into your time together. But I thought, maybe because you guys didn’t fuck, maybe Dad was right and Auntie Em and I were wrong. I’m sorry I went off on you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few bills. “Here, I’ll pay for your time. After all it is your day off and this was business.” He threw them on the table and turned around. Before Brian realized what had happened Gus was out the door, his long legs carrying him toward the car park. Gus unlocked and climbed into his father’s car. He put his head down on the steering wheel and cried. What a fool he’d made of himself. His dad would be so pissed if he ever found out. He wiped his eyes on the back of his hands and started the car when the door opened. It was Brian standing in the gravel in his tight jeans and with his feet bare. “Gus, turn the car off and come back inside. We need to talk.” Brian looked at him still unnerved by the sapphire blue eyes, now swimming in tears. It was a battle of wills until defeated, Gus turned off the ignition and got back out. They walked back to Brian’s cottage, Gus with his head down and Brian with a comforting hand in the center of Gus’s back. “Do you want a beer?” Brian asked when they got inside. “I don’t drink beer, do you have a soda, or water?” Brian handed him a cold bottle of water and passed him a box of tissues. “Blow your nose.” He said and smiled to himself when Gus complied. Gus was still a kid Brian thought, even if he had fucked him. “Sit down.” “Where?” Gus asked, there really was little choice. “On the sofa, on the floor what do I care, just sit the fuck down.” Brian began to pace as Gus, his back to a wall sank to the floor, his knees drawn up as he looked at Brian warily. Brian didn’t know where to start. Finally “Gus, about your dad, I have to be honest here, yeah, I felt something with him. But it could have been the shrimp I ate for dinner. How do I know?” “Don’t try and bull shit me Brian, I’ve learned from the best. You have no idea what kind of friends’ dad has that I’ve grown up with. I can see it in your eyes. You like my dad.” “Yeah, I like him.” Brian continued to pace. “But even if through some amazing fluke or an alternate reality or something honing down on us – the facts will always be there Gus. I’m just a street hustler whose learned to dress well and can read books with words bigger than on syllable.” “Dad doesn’t care about stuff like that.” “Don’t take offense here Gus, but your dad lives in a dream world. Maybe it’s the artist in him or something.” “But what if it could work out? Don’t you want someone to love you?” “Whose talking about love here Gus? Love is for hetero’s and dykes. I’m queer, you’re queer, your dad is queer, queer rule number nine – there’s no such thing as love for us ‘cause there will always be another hot guy around the corner that makes your dick hard.” “That sucks and it isn’t true.” Gus declared stubbornly. “That’s life Gus.” Brian sat down beside him and put his arm around him. “You can’t tell me you don’t get hard for me. Come on in the bedroom, I’ll give you a freebee, for old time’s sake.” Brian hated saying the words but he needed to make his point with the younger man. Gus shook off Brian’s arm. “That’s fucking sick Brian. I would never do that with a guy my dad likes.” “It’s only a fuck Gus, in – out – the maximum of pleasure – no apologies, no regrets.” “I’ve got to go.” Gus stood up. He couldn’t look at Brian. He was so confused. “Sorry I bothered you.” He carefully placed his empty bottle of water on the small kitchen counter and walked out the door, disappointment written all over his face. The door banged shut and in a few minutes Brian heard the rumble of the Corvette’s engines and the crunch of gravel beneath the tires. As the sound faded away Brian put his head down on his knees and for the first time since he was sixteen he cried. He cried for what might have been and he cried for the love he knew that Justin could have given him and he might even have been able to return. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Gus let himself into the locked studio. He had a large pizza and a two chocolate milkshakes from the Dairy Queen; it was his dad’s favorite supper. “Hey Dad, I brought your car back and I brought supper.” “Great, I’m starving.” Justin said. He looked up at his son and he knew right away something wasn’t right. “Okay Gus, tell me what happened.” “Nothing happened ‘Rufus’ is just fine. Gus was referring to the car. “I just had something to deal with and I did. No biggie.” “Want to talk about it?” Justin asked as he took a piece of the still hot pizza and put it on the piece of cardboard he’d ripped from the box top, using it for a plate. Gus helped himself and he sat in the chair next to his dad’s. The two of them ate in silence until Gus finally broke. “Dad is it true that queers can’t fall in love?” he turned and looked at his father. “You know like Melanie and Lindsay, they’re in love and Auntie Em says he loved his Georgie, but do they really feel love? Is that why you stayed with mom – ‘cause it didn’t matter because queers don’t fall in love?” “Where are these questions coming from Gus?” Justin looked at his son puzzled why all of a sudden he was getting quizzed on his relationship with the boy’s mother. “I just wondered is all.” “I think anyone can fall in love. It doesn’t really matter what your sexual orientation is. Love doesn’t pick and choose, it just happens.” “Are you sure?” “Yes I’m sure. Love is a funny kind of emotion. A lot of people think the lust they feel for someone when they first meet is love and sometimes that lust turns to love, but often it doesn’t. People don’t fall out of love, they fall out of lust. I’m thirty four and you know that I’ve had a lot of men in my life.” He laughed at the face Gus made. “But in all my thirty four years, I only felt that special little tingle that tells you this guy could be the one - one time and one time only. The hardest thing about love is – now this is the part that usually fucks you up – the other guy has to feel that tingle too – after all what’s the point if only one of you is in love with the other. It’s rare Gus, but it happens. Two people feeling the same way and maybe it’ll happen to me someday, I’m sure it’ll happen to you.” Justin smiled at his son. “Don’t settle for anything less, you deserve the best. Life is too short to settle.” “This one time you felt it, the tingle I mean. Did the other guy like just not even care?” “I thought he felt it too, but I must have been wrong.” Justin looked away, the memory of Brian to fresh to talk about right now. “It happens Gus, but I’d rather have felt that tingle and know that love could have happened, than to go through life always wondering.” “Dad” Gus’ voice was low. “I went to Brian’s place today, that’s why I needed the car.” “Oh, Gussy boy, why did you do that?” Justin reverted to his pet name for his son from when he was a child. “I had to see for myself, and I was kind of mad at him for hurting your feelings.” Gus confessed. “He’s the one isn’t he Dad? He’s the one you kind of felt that tingle for.” “It wasn’t meant to be Gus.” Justin evaded the question, but Gus knew what he meant. “I think Brian felt it too Dad, but he’s scared.” Gus looked earnest. “He was acting kind of funny, like Uncle Mikey does when he’s trying to be sneaky.” “Brian is a complex person Gus. I made the first move in maybe having a friendship with him, it’s up to Brian if he wants to take me up on it.” “Maybe he can’t Dad, maybe something so bad happened to him when he was younger that he can’t trust anyone anymore to love him.” “What makes you say that Gus?” Justin looked at him curious as to what his son would say. “You remember when I went there for my birthday present” Gus began though he hated to remind his dad that Brian had had sex with him. “Well, when we were in the shower together, did you know Brian showers every single time he’s with someone and he uses this cool shower gel soap called Arabian Nights, it smells awesome.” “Get on with the story Gus.” “Sorry, any way, it was more like we were showering after playing soccer or something, not romantic or sexy or anything, that’s when I saw it. He has like this round scar inside his thigh right about here,” Gus demonstrated where to his father. “That looks like a cigar burn – you know if someone had pushed a lit cigar into his leg.” He looked at his father for confirmation that he’d heard. “I know what you mean Gus.” Justin’s voice was quiet and he felt rage at the man who had done this thing to Brian. “Who would do something like that to a kid?” Gus shook his head in wonder. “I asked Brian what it was and he said it was his old man making a point. Do you think he meant his father did it?” Gus asked in horror. “It wouldn’t surprise me.” Justin was sad. He remembered the look Brian had on his face when he told him about his crystal meth addiction. It was probably his home life he was avoiding. “Dad what are you going to do?” Gus put his hand on his father’s arm. “I don’t know.” Justin was honest. “I know what I’d do.” Justin smiled – it was nice to have the convictions of youth. “What would you do Gus?” “I’d send him a flower. Just one – in one of Sacha’s vases – you know the one in the gallery that looks like it’s made from fractured sea glass – maybe something simple, not a rose, they’re too gay – how about three white violets – the big ones aren’t even that big, but they’re different and they smell amazing.” “You would?” “Yes and put one of the note cards mom designed in with it” “What would I say on the card?” Justin couldn’t believe he was getting advice from his seventeen year old. “Oh I don’t know – maybe “For as long as it takes, I’ll wait.” “How did you get so smart?” Justin put his arm around Gus and gave him a hug. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Brian was heading back to his cottage from the gym. He’d been working out most of the morning(,) it helped to keep the ‘cut’ look that made his client’s come back for more. Despite what he told Gus, Brian had a regular clientele; he’d been at the Quoin so long that he found it almost relaxing knowing what most of them expected from him. He could review his studies in his head while satisfying their needs – every one was happy and he was one day closer to graduating. Today he’d worked out harder than usual, his night with Justin and the visit from Gus was always in the front of his mind and hoped with enough sweat, he could forget. There were times like this when he’d give anything for a hit of crystal. “Brian Kinney?” Brian looked up; he’d been drying the sweat out of his hair before heading inside to shower. “What?” The man in a delivery service uniform handed him a box about fifteen inches long. It was black with a large grey satin bow holding it shut. “This is for you sir.” Brian took the box. “Just a minute, I’ll get you some money.” Brian headed for his door. “Oh no sir, that’s been looked after.” The man touched the brim of his hat and smiled before turning around and leaving. “I see you have an admirer Taurus.” Morgan drawled. “Apparently” Brian continued on into his cottage. “Aren’t you going to open the box, and see who it’s from.” “No, not at the moment.” “Here let me.” She quickly slid the satin bow off. Brian walked over and put his hand on hers before she could lift the top. “Morgan, I said no.” Brian looked at her hard. “I meant no.” “I was only curious, you know about women and curiosity.” “I think you should leave. I’ll be at the big house in time for my shift. But when I’m here, that’s my private time.” He opened the door to the outside. “Perhaps it’s time for me to move on.” “I gave you a chance to make something of yourself Brian. But keep in mind that this is all you know – and you’re getting older, you’re one of the oldest ones here. There are lots of younger boys out there would love to have the opportunities you have. And who would have you anyway – Rush Street is full of old hustlers.” She turned on her heel and left. Brian used all the control he had not to slam the door on her back. “Bitch” he muttered. He sat at the table and studied the parcel. He was twenty three years old and with the exception of the red leather jacket that one of his clients had bought for him three years before, he’d never received a gift, let alone one wrapped as beautifully as this one and she’d tried to spoil it for him. He slid the bow back onto the slick black box, coaxing it back over the corners carefully; his fingers traced the knot and smoothed out the ends of the ribbon. He let the tips of his fingers touch the corners of the box and he turned it on the table to study and memorize the simplistic beauty of the gift. Not satisfied, he put his computer on the floor, first the monitor and then the key board and then one by one all the books until all that was left was the box on the polished oak of the table top. He slid the satin ribbon ends between his fingers and smiled at the silky softness. And then slowly and carefully he slid the bow once again off of the box until there was a puddle of silvery gray satin ribbon and the shiny rectangle of a black box. He rubbed a finger mark off of the very edge of the box where someone’s hand, maybe his own, had been just damp enough to mar the surface. He knew he had a wide grin on his face and he was glad no one was there to see him. He wanted this moment with his first present to last forever. The sweat from his work out cooled on his skin and he sat quietly staring at the box, willing it to open so that he could see inside. He was afraid, afraid that he would find something disappointing in the wonderful box. Finally, almost shutting his eyes, Brian took a leap of faith and lifted the top. Nestled inside in a nest of black tissue paper was a vase unlike anything else he had ever seen and the color, the color was the clear blue of the most precious sapphire, the color of Justin’s eyes and in the vase was three perfectly formed white violets, their velvety heads graced with a touch of gold at the center. Brian’s hands shook when he took the vase out of its nest and placed it on the table. The light from the setting sun shining in his window caught the glass and refracted the blue to a thousand points of color all over the white walls of the room he was in. Still shaking he lifted the card from where it had been hidden under the vase. His heart beat faster and faster – he wanted it to be from Justin so bad he ached inside – “For as long as it takes – I’ll wait.” Brian read the words over and over memorizing them and then his fingers traced the scrawling penmanship and he couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face. He carried the vase into the bathroom where he could look at it while he showered. He took it into the bedroom while he changed into a pair of blue silk lounging pants and then realized for the first time since he’d arrived at the Quoin that he couldn’t work tonight despite what he’d told Morgan. He pulled off the silk and replaced them with his favorite pair of jeans before pulling on a black wife beater and carrying the vase to his dresser. Brian lay down on the bed and picked up his cell phone, dialing a number he’d memorized the moment he’d seen it. “Hello” Justin was putting the last touches on a painting he’d been working on. He was expecting a call from Gus but was surprised when no one answered him. Brian, hearing Justin’s voice, froze “Who’s there?” Justin asked, worry in his voice. “Gus is that you, are you okay?” “Did you really mean it, that you would wait for me?” Brian was finally able to breathe. “Brian?” the joy in Justin’s voice was apparent to Brian and he grinned. “Did you mean it?” “I always mean what I say Brian.” “Thank you.” And Brian closed the phone. He lay back with his eyes shut relishing the moment. Then he picked up the phone and called the main house. “Tell Morgan I’m sick and I won’t be in to work tonight.” He said to the hapless man who answered the phone. Brian knew that Morgan would be pissed, but he wanted this night to savor the beauty of his first real present and to think about what Justin had written. The sounds from the big house seemed louder than usual and Brian tossed and turned in his bed. He had finally fallen asleep when suddenly the door to his cottage burst open and four men rushed inside. They went directly to Brian’s bedroom and while his arms and legs were held down a ball gag was forced between his teeth. He was lifted from his bed and they began to carry him out. Brian struggled, his eyes demanding to know what was going on. “Give it up Taurus; Morgan says you need to be taught a lesson in humility. You need a reminder of what you are. So you my boy are tonight’s special entertainment. That’s right struggle, they love that in the dungeon.” Brian continued to struggle as they dragged him across the wet grass, in the back entrance and down the basement stairs. He continued to struggle as they ripped his blue jeans off of his body and locked him securely in a strong leather sling. He continued to struggle as client after client raped him, not realizing that what they were doing was wrong, they thought for sure Brian was part of the act until finally the last client was done and he was all alone in the dark. His eyes blazed – he’d had worse done to him before – he wouldn’t forget – ever. Two of the other boys slipped in through the doors to the dungeon and released Brian from his confinement. They never spoke and Brian didn’t either. The half carried him back to his cottage where they tossed him onto his bed and one whispered, “Sorry Taurus, but Morgan said to tell you that came to her from the gutter and she can just as easily send you back.”