No Regrets X 2 -4 Plot Bunny by Judy Dedicated to Phil and Mike “I’m sorry Brian and Justin, but I can’t handle him anymore.” Lindsay wiped her eyes with a tissue. She’d been crying off and on for more than an hour. “Lindsay, he’s an eleven year old boy, what’s to handle?” Brian asked. “We don’t have any trouble with him when he’s here.” “That’s the problem. He doesn’t want to live with me anymore.” She sobbed. “I’ve tried everything.” “Have you tried talking to him?” Justin asked his voice soft. “I think that all of this should be talked about with the person in question.” “That’s me.” Gus stood in the doorway of the living room. “I’m sorry mom, but I really can’t stay with you anymore. It’s too hard for me. I need my dads.” Justin nodded at Gus who came over to him gratefully. The young boy sat at Justin’s feet and leaned back against his step dad’s knee. Justin put his hand on Gus’s shoulder and said to Lindsay. “Tell me why you think it would be better for Gus to stay with you and Melanie.” “We’re his mothers.” And she started to cry again. “Where is Melanie?” Justin asked. It was his turn to lean back against Brian when his partner stood behind his chair and rested his hands on Justin’s shoulders. “She’s busy working, you know that.” “She’s always busy working.” Gus said. “Dad and Pops are busy too, but they are NEVER to busy for me.” “That’s not true Gus.” Lindsay began. “You momma is a busy lawyer and she can’t always take time off from work.” “She can take time off if Jenny wants something.” Gus glared. “I’m tired of being the only kid at school with no one to come on parent days.” “Gus, I didn’t know about parent days. You know I’d have come.” Justin leaned forward and smoothed back Gus’ hair. “You never said anything.” “That’s ‘cause mom and momma wouldn’t let me. They said parent stuff was for the parent you live with.” Gus glared at his mother. “Well I want to live with my dads. I can go and visit you guys when you have time.” “Maybe you should have asked us if we wanted you to live with us Sonny Boy.” Brian’s voice was quiet. “Having you here twenty four seven isn’t what Justin signed up for.” “Dad, Pops?” Gus’ voice quivered. Justin continued to smooth the boy’s hair, grounding him much as he would if his father was closer. “Gus, I love you very much and so does your Dad. We’ll always be there for you no matter what. But I think that we need to talk about this now with your mothers. No decision can be made without both of them here. Just like your dad and I wouldn’t make any kind of decision about you without both of us agreeing. Your dad was reminding you that while you need to let us know how you feel about where you live, you can’t just assume that you can move between the two houses. You need order in your life, just like we need order in ours.” “But pops…..” Gus began. He turned his face up toward Justin and Brian. Hazel eyes filled with unshed tears. He was eleven after all and his father’s son. “Gus, this is the first that Justin and I have heard of you wanting to move in. It’s kind of new to us the whole idea of having you live at our place full time and not just on weekends. We need to talk about it between ourselves and we need to talk to your mothers. What ever we decide, the decision will be final. There will be no running back and forth depending on whom you decide will go easiest on you.” “Dad, thanks.” Gus sighed. “Pops I love you.” “I love you too Gus.” Justin kissed the top of Gus’ head. Excerpt from: No Regrets When Gus was eleven Justin and I were faced with the decision as to whether the boy should be allowed to live with us or remain with his mothers. He was unhappy living with the women. I suppose it stood to reason that we’d be faced with this someday. After all Gus was one young boy living with a household full of women. Subject to their whims and orders day in and day out. It would have killed me had I been doing it, living with all those women. Justin never hesitated. He stood beside me all the way and accepted Gus into our household without once questioning how it would affect our life. It didn’t matter to him. Gus was our son and therefore entitled to live under our roof. He’d always had free run of our home. He’d had his own room and knew our routines. But he’d only been with us on weekends and for the occasional week or two during the summer. Having an eleven year old boy full time was quite another matter. Ground rules had to be established right away. Living with us and visiting with us were two different matters. I know that had I been alone, Gus would have never survived. He was eleven going on thirty. He was far too bright for his own good and years ahead of other kids his age mentally. It was easy to see why he hadn’t been able to live with Lindsay and Melanie. To them they saw an eleven year old boy. To Justin and I we saw a young person with thoughts and feelings of his own. We knew enough to offer guidance and not issue orders. Orders had never worked for me and Gus was my son. I certainly could have used a bit of guidance when I was growing up. I suppose Debbie and Vic offered some, but it wasn’t enough. I was never actually domesticated. That’s how Justin puts it and I suppose he’s right in some ways. I wasn’t really domesticated until he came along and gave me a crash course with me kicking and screaming the whole time. I couldn’t have Gus turning out emotionally stunted like his father had been. Even now I constantly had to fight against reverting back to the safety of the walls I’d learned to erect. It was actually my life partner who came up with the idea that we still use now for raising Gus between the two households. Justin had Gus, Melanie and Lindsay and I sit down and write out a list of rules. They were actually pretty straight forward. Homework and study schedules had to be adhered to no matter where Gus was staying. Any disciple from either parent was to be reinforced by either parent so no going to the other house to avoid punishment for a misdeed or chores assigned that might not be to Gus’ liking. By six o’clock each day both parents had to know where Gus was. So while he could live at either place, the other parent had to know each day where he was. There could be no exceptions. There were a few more ‘rules’ on the list, but not many. Justin had written it up and gave everyone a copy once they were in agreement. We all signed the paper and formally put them away in my office. I’ve never seen Gus happier. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He’d been unhappy for a long time and we hadn’t even noticed. He’d been afraid of hurting Melanie and Lindsay by living with Justin and I and he truly hadn’t wanted to leave his mother’s completely. Of course Justin and I had some adjusting to do with how we lived. We’d been together a long time and had our set of unspoken rules that we hadn’t even realized we had. It was an interesting first six months for all of us involved but we worked through it thanks to the level headed blond that I lived with. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ “Daphne, I’m not sure that this book idea is going to work.” Justin was once again on Daphne’s red leather sofa only this time he had a throw pillow over his face. Daphne could barely make out what he was saying. Daphne sighed. This wasn’t the first time he’d queened out since he’d begun the book. She was getting tired of the damn book herself. “What now?” she asked trying her best to keep the exasperation out of her voice. “It’s Brian; he’s hiding something from me. It’s been years since he’s done that. I don’t think that this is such a good idea.” “Aren’t you hiding something from him too?” she asked patiently. “Not really.” “Pardon?” she snorted “and you are doing what for publication?” “It’s not the same thing.” Justin’s voice was sulky. “What did I tell you the last time you said Brian was hiding something?” “Talk to him.” “And the twenty five times before that?” “Talk to him.” “And was he hiding something each and every time you asked?” “Not really.” “Do we detect a trend here?” “Bitch” Justin peeked out from under the pillow. “It’s just that I sent the last of my sketches to the publisher and I haven’t heard anything. I haven’t heard a word from the editor about what I wrote. I suppose that the whole idea really sucks and they are going to tell me.” “You could always publish privately.” Daphne suggested and then laughed when Justin threw the pillow at her. “Justin, I talked with your publisher earlier today. The book will be published. But they have an idea that they want to run past you. I have set up a meeting for you at one o’clock on Thursday. I’ll be there as well. We want to review your contract and they want to show you the mock up of the book for your approval.” “No shit?” Justin sat up. “I guess I’ll deal with Brian later. He’s such a drama queen, it’s probably nothing.” “I’d say you were tied for drama queen of the year.” Daphne’s voice was dry. “Now get out of my office. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes and I have to prepare.” Actually Brian was due and she wanted Justin long gone. “Okay,” Justin sighed. “I should go home I suppose. Gus is bringing some kids over from his school. Something to do with some kind of art project.” “He’s fourteen, supervision might be in order.” “Yeah, if for no other reason than to make sure they don’t completely empty the fridge not to mention the freezer.” “That kid reminds me of you when you were young. He never stops eating.” “Brian actually told me that he used to be like that when he was Gus’ age. He met Michael about then and Debbie indulged the two boys with her Italian cooking. I guess he didn’t get much in the line of extra food from his own mother.” “He sure watches what he eats now.” Daphne said with a laugh remembering some rather basic lunches that she’d shared with Brian over the last few months. “He’s afraid he’ll get out of shape and won’t have all the hot guys lusting after him.” Justin snickered. “Like that would ever happen.” “Get out of here. I’ll meet you later if you want. You could invite me for dinner I could use some of Gus’ words of wisdom.” He was always trying to get Daphne to tell him about Justin and his dad when they first met. “Sure, come on over for dinner. I’ll make my special pizza that way even Brian will eat with us.” Brian liked the home made pizza Justin assembled for him with a low carb crust and a rich veggie topping. “I’ll be there about six.” Daphne kissed Justin on the cheek. “See you then.” “Bring dessert.” Justin ordered. “Don’t I always?” Daphne said with a laugh. Justin left his friend’s office and hurried to the elevator. He’d need to pick up a few things from the market before he headed home. As Justin stepped onto the elevator going down and the door closed, Brian stepped off the opposite elevator. Neither man saw each other. “Hey princess” Brian kissed Daphne’s cheek. “I got your message and here I am. Now what’s this all about?” “No ‘how is your day?’” Daphne laughed. “Right to the point Brian, can I offer you a cup of coffee?” “I don’t need any a coffee.” Brian sat down in the chair opposite her desk and crossed his legs. “I’m assuming this meeting is about the final chapters of the book.” “Yes, in a way it is. And thanks a bunch for having your chapters submitted on time.” She grinned “Not that I expected any different.” “I understand the importance of a deadline. I’ve talked to the editor and done a couple of rewrites to make a few changes that she suggested. But other than that I do believe it’s ready to be printed.” “The publisher wants to talk to you about the book. I set up an appointment for you for Thursday at one and yes I cleared it with your office already. I think Cynthia is glad to get rid of you.” “What’s the meeting about?” Brian asked ignoring the dig about Cynthia. “I don’t really know for sure. But it has to do with the book. I believe the cover needs your approval along with a few other things. We need you to sign off so that it can be printed and out on the streets.” “It’s been a long process Daphne. To say I’m apprehensive would be an understatement. What if Justin hates it?” Brian shifted nervously in his chair and then stood up and began to pace the length of her office. “Brian, I doubt Justin will hate it. But before you get yourself all tied up in knots, just wait until Thursday. You might be pleasantly surprised. I’d say if anything that you should be wondering what the rest of gay Pittsburgh, not to mention everyone else will be thinking when the book comes out. I mean you and Justin have quite the love story going for you. It’s really rather romantic.” “It’s a lot of things all right.” Brian agreed. “I think we manage to touch about every emotion there is and then some.” He fingered his bracelet an unconscious thing that he did often. The bracelet grounded him and kept him calm and rational when things got tough. “I’m going to your place for dinner tonight. I understand Justin is making his famous pizza. Gus is having some friends over. They’re working on some kind of school project.” “Thanks for the warning.” Brian huffed a laugh. “Gus is one thing, but add another couple of kids and the place goes wild. Maybe I’ll work late.” But he knew he wouldn’t. He knew it was an empty threat. He loved being at home with his partner and his son. He loved the fact that Gus was comfortable enough in his home to have friends over. When he’d been Gus’ age he hadn’t dared have anyone over for fear his father would explode or his mother would be her usual snotty self. It just wasn’t worth the embarrassment. Far better to just not have any friends, well that is until Mikey came along and then they spent all their time at Deb’s or the diner. “I’m bringing dessert.” Daphne laughed. “I think I’ll pick up a cake. Something yummy at that bakery on third.” “Make it something chocolate. Chocolate makes Justin horny.” Brian laughed. “You make Justin horny.” Daphne grinned. “But I’ll find something chocolate. It makes me horny and I’m seeing Jamie later.” “Too much information princess.” Brian stood up. “I can’t believe we’re so close to having the book published.” “And what happens next?” “I know what happens, but for now I’ll keep that to myself. Justin will be the first to know and I’m sure you’ll be a close second.” “Sounds interesting.” “Sounds mysterious, that’s what I’m going for.” Brian was at the door of her office. “Later Daphne.” He smiled and then left. He wondered when Justin had been there. He’d left one of his sketch pads on Daphne’s coffee table. As he stepped up to the elevator the door opened at it was Justin. “Hey Sunshine.” “Brian, what are you doing here?” Justin asked. “Visiting my favorite publicity person.” Brian kissed Justin quickly to stave off any more questions. “You left a sketch book in her office.” “That’s why I’m here. I can’t believe I forgot it. Gus is having friends over and I want to be there when they arrive, so I’m kind of in a hurry.” “Why don’t you go home and I’ll pick up the book. I’m heading home now anyway. I thought since you were home, I would be too.” “Now that’s a great idea.” Justin was beaming. He loved it when Brian took time out of his busy schedule to be with him at home. “But we won’t be able to do much with the crowd there.” “I can hold your hand.” Brian brought the hand up to his lips and kissed each finger. Neither man even noticed people in the hallway walking past them. “Geeze Brian, keep that up and we’ll both be late. I know where the supply closet is.” Justin’s knees were shaking with lust. “No closets for me.” Brian laughed. “But Daphne’s red leather sofa looks pretty comfy.” “She’d kill us.” Justin grinned up at Brian. “I’ll be waiting at home, I’m sure we’ll have time for a quick shower.” “You can count on it.” Brian gave Justin one last kiss before heading back in the direction of Daphne’s office. “Brian you’re back.” Daphne was surprised to see the tall and handsome man standing in her office doorway. He sauntered over to the red leather sofa and sat down picking up Justin’s sketch book at the same time. “Justin left this here. I met in at the elevator and told him I’d bring it home for him.” “That’s cool, though I could have brought it to your place later. I am coming for dinner.” “Yes but then I wouldn’t have been able to ask you what Justin is up too. He’s been keeping something from me and it’s been driving me nuts.” “Strange, that’s what he says about you.” Daphne laughed. “I told him you were writing a book about your lives.” “DAPHNE” Brian glared. “That’s not funny.” “Brian, why don’t you ask Justin? Every damn time the two of you get this way you never talk. You’d think that after darn near fifteen years together you’d have gotten a clue by now.” Daphne was exasperated with the two of them and she wasn’t hiding those feelings. “It’s not that we don’t talk. It’s just that we don’t ask questions.” Brian answered her. “We say more than you’d think to each other. My book will tell you that.” “I still think you two should ‘ask questions’ then. If you think Justin is keeping a secret, ask him. But be prepared for his answer.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Just what I said, if he answers with something you don’t like, don’t freak out, listen.” “Yes Doctor Daphne.” He sighed. “So I suppose you aren’t about to tell me what Justin was doing here.” “Justin was doing what he usually does when he visits and uses my sofa as a psychiatrist’s couch, he was talking about you. In fifteen years it never changes, just the sofa changes, not the tune.” “I’ll talk to him tonight.” Brian said. “Maybe it’s time we did ask each other questions.” While he talked, Brian was flipping through the sketch book. It was full of sketches of their life together only their life seemed to be centered around Brian. “He does some good work” Brian commented. “He needs to broaden his subject matter.” This was said with a smirk. “I know, I’ve told him that before.” Daphne laughed at the look Brian shot her. “But he seems to actually love you. I can’t understand why?” “Because I’m the loveable type.” Brian leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. “See you later.” “Later Brian.” She watched the handsome man disappear once again. Brian was thoughtful as he rode the elevator down to the ground floor. The sketches in Justin’s book were amazing. He thought back to when he’d first bought one of his lover’s sketches. It still hung in their bedroom, though Justin often threatened to take it down. Now it was joined by three other sketches with virtually the same pose though the talent of the artist, while apparent in the first sketch, had improved with each additional sketch. Each picture was one Brian had managed to find at different shows that Justin had. Each one he’d bought unknown to the artist. They had all been done at various times of their lives when their love was especially angst filled and Justin had needed him. Brian told his lover that he wanted the sketches to remind him that he meant something to another person. It was hard for him at times to remember that someone cared. Maybe it was time he was completely honest and upfront with Justin. Maybe this surprise he’d been crafting for more than a year was another of his arrogant ideas. Though he was proud of the book he’d written. It was after all the ultimate love story. It had everything that a good love story needed. Maybe it was time to throw caution to the wind and have the book published names and all. It was time to let the world as well as Justin know the two fags could fall in love and they could get married and live happily ever after. Brian suddenly felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. A weight he hadn’t known was there. Tonight was a night to celebrate another stage in their lives. One of no secrets. Justin had also come to a decision as he picked up the things he needed for their pizza and ran a few other errands. He was going to tell Brian tonight what he’d planned for their fifteenth anniversary. The meeting on Thursday with his publisher made him realize that Brian had to know before the book came out. It had to be done by the two of them. Just like they’d faced the last fifteen years together. They were only as good as they were when they were together. Brian made a couple of stops before he headed home. He’d placed an order at Harris Jeweler’s six months before. It was time to pick it up. That was only the first place he stopped. He had a few other places to visit before he headed home. Justin surveyed the family room. He almost laughed out loud but didn’t want to insult the four kids who were all huddled over their various computers. Thank gawd for wireless internet. The boys as one turned to look at him. “Hi Pops” Gus said. “We’re working on our project and when we’re done we’re going to use the pool. Is that okay “Sure, I’m making pizza tonight and your Aunt Daphne is bringing over something for dessert.” “Cool, can the guys stay for dinner?” Gus asked and four pairs of eyes watched Justin for his approval. “No problem, with luck Daphne will bring a cake.” “I hope so. Dad loves cake.” “Don’t tell him that. He thinks he hates it.” “He always eats it.” “But he does protest.” Justin laughed. “Don’t hack into any banks boys and girls. I want to spend my old age at home and not in jail and you’re using my router.” “We’ll be carefully Mr. Taylor.” One of the girls said her laugh evil until she burst into giggles along with the rest of them. “There are sodas in the fridge, but I expect you all to clean up after yourself.” Justin headed for the kitchen. There was a lot of pizza preparation to do. He was putting the dough up to rise when Brian walked into the kitchen and gave him a kiss. He also handed Justin a bouquet of roses and daisies. “Hey Sunshine, how is dinner coming?” Justin held the flowers in his hands and stared up into Brian’s eyes. “They are beautiful Brian.” “They reminded me of us.” Brian put his hand behind Justin’s head and pulled him close. “You’re the elegant rose and I’m the ordinary daisy.” “That is so not true.” Justin laughed he stood up on his tip toes and kissed Brian’s nose. “You are hardly ordinary. That’s not even a close analogy. Thank you for the flowers. I love you Brian Kinney.” “I love you too.” Brian whispered. Justin raised his eyebrows. Brian rarely said the words. In fact it was so seldom said that he was almost not quite sure he’d heard him correctly. Justin didn’t know what to say. Brian was being strangely romantic. “Put the flowers in water Sunshine. I’m going to get changed.” “Want to conserve water?” Justin’s eyes twinkled. “I love being environmentally friendly. I’ll wait for you.” Justin watched Brian disappear down the hall. He couldn’t stop smiling. Almost fifteen years and the man still did it to him every damn time. Checking that the kids were still occupied in the family room, Justin placed the flowers in a crystal vase and took them with him to the bedroom. He wanted to see them while they made love. He knew that Brian would definitely make time for that. “You’re such a romantic.” Brian said and caressed the side of Justin’s face. He leaned over and turned the lock on their bedroom door. Brian had the CD player already on, they’d learned over the years how to disguise the sounds that they made in the bedroom. “I’ve started a bath.” “Not a shower?” Justin melted into Brian’s arms. “I thought we were pressed for time.” “Everyone will wait. You and I, we need the time. I always did talk to you better when we were hot and wet.” “That was after sex, not in the bath.” Justin teased. “That too.” Brian took him by the hand and led him into the bathroom. The lights were off and there were dozens of candles lit around the large marble walled room. “What’s gotten into you today?” Justin asked. “Is it my birthday?” “Brat.” Brian stripped off his clothing, his eyes holding Justin’s gaze as Justin too stripped off his clothing. Brian stepped into the deeper than usual tub built for two and Justin followed. They had a regular routine when they indulged like this. Brian sat down first and Justin settled between his legs, his back against his lover. A thick sea sponge was used by both of them to put warm water over exposed skin. Brian liked to nibble on Justin’s neck and ears. This afternoon was a bit different. “Now that I have you contained. I want to tell you what I’ve been working on for the past few months. I was going to surprise you on our anniversary, but I really think you need to know everything.” “Brian….” Justin began. “No Justin, I need to tell you this. I’ve been writing a book. A book about you and I. About how I feel about you and what you’ve meant to me. It tells how you saved me from myself and how much I’ve loved you from the first. The thing is, I have an appointment with my publisher on Thursday at one and I realized that I couldn’t go through with everything unless you were with me on this.” Justin, tears in his eyes, turned so that he could look at Brian. “I’m doing a book too. I have an appointment at one on Thursday with my publisher.” “What’s your book about?” Brian asked, his voice tinged with amusement. “It’s about you, about me, us.” “Hmmm, I detect a theme here.” Brian smirked. “Your friend Daphne wouldn’t by any chance be looking after things for you?” “Actually she is.” Justin lay in the water, his head on Brian’s chest. “I can’t believe this. She never said a word. I’ve been working on it for more than a year.” “So have I.” Brian thought for a moment. “I actually think my book is pretty good. It has a lot of insights into a gay man’s life. I’d like to continue with the publication if you don’t mind. I was actually going to change names to protect the innocent, but I don’t think I will now. I want everyone to know their place in our story, good or bad.” “I agree. My book is more illustrative than literary. Maybe we could combine them into one book.” “Like a partnership?” “Like a partnership?” “You know the book would sound better if the author’s names were Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor-Kinney.” “But we’d have to be married. Oh!” Justin was silent his mind whirling. Brian held out his left arm – the bracelet gleamed on it. “Yes we’d have to be married.” He said while the implications of the relocation of his bracelet sunk into Justin’s mind. “You had it moved.” The words were a whisper. “Apparently” “When?” Justin was sure it had been on Brian’s right arm earlier. “Today and I picked something else up at the jewelers.” Justin was afraid to ask what else Brian had picked up. He’d waited for this moment practically from the day they’d met. He’d never expected it to take place in the bath tub though. But that was Brian for you. He’d pick a place where neither one could run away easily. “Aren’t you going to ask what I bought?” Brian pretended to be hurt. He knew Justin would do anything rather than see him hurt. “Brian.” Justin snuggled closer in the warm water. He nuzzled and kissed Brian’s neck before claiming the older man’s lips. “I guess that was asking.” Brian huffed and then said. “Look in the soap dish.” “Oh my gawd, they could have washed down the drain.” Two platinum rings gleamed in the brushed chrome soap dish. Justin’s design of the entwined J and B had been used to fashion them. “We’d have bought others.” Brian picked up one of the rings. For though Justin’s hands were smaller, their ring size was the same as Brian’s fingers were long and lean. “Will you wear my ring Justin Taylor and at a time that we pick together, will you marry me?” “Yes, yes, yes, yes.” Justin flushed with pleasure as Brian placed the ring on his finger. He solemnly picked up the remaining ring and placed it on Brian’s hand. “I think we should get married before the book is published. The wedding would make a fitting last chapter.” “Or a great first chapter for the next book.” Brian teased. “That too.” Justin leaned into him. “The water is getting cold, how about a hot shower. I’ll drop the soap often.” “Justin Taylor, I love you.” Brian laughed and then tilting the blond’s head, began to kiss him with the passion he’d been saving since they had first stepped into the bath. Soon all thoughts of changing to the shower were lost as Brian slowly and expertly began to make love to Justin in the warm bath water. It didn’t take long for it to heat up again. Epilogue Brian and Justin along with Gus and Michael were sitting in their favorite booth in the back of the diner. “I still can’t believe you’re married.” Michael said for the thousandth time. “Mikey, there is no reason why you and the professor should have exclusive rights to a marriage ceremony.” Brian drawled. “Hey dad are you going to eat those fries?” Gus asked eyeing Brian’s plate. “No, and I don’t know why they insist on giving me fries.” Brian shoved his plate closer to Gus. “I miss Deb, she’d know better.” “Hey is there room for us?” it was Daphne and Jamie. “We brought over the first copy of your book.” She held a brown wrapped parcel in her hand. “What book?” Michael asked. “Cool, am I in it?” Gus asked. “Thanks Daphne, I suppose it hits the bookstores soon.” Justin beamed. He was actually a bit nervous. It was one thing to talk about the book and quite another to actually see it in print. “Yes and we’ve had good reviews so far. The New York Times was amazing. Our retailers have doubled their original orders.” Jamie added. “What book?” Michael said again. “Despite the size and the cost of the thing?” Brian hadn’t really expected large sales. It was after all an expensive book and for a specialized market. “Despite that.” Jamie grinned. “Of course Justin’s illustrations of you have a lot to do with the sales.” “Of course.” Brian was as usual not in the least bit modest. “Get over yourself Kinney.” Justin said and elbowed his husband. “What book?” Michael repeated. “Well aren’t you going to open it?” Gus asked. “I think I’ll leave that to Justin.” Brian put his arm around his husband and Justin gave him a quick kiss. “We’ll do it together, we wrote it together and we’ll open it up together.” Michael had been about to ask his question again when Justin and Brian together ripped off the paper on the rather oversized book. It was clearly a coffee table book. The cover was vibrant with color as Justin’s painting appeared and true to his vision, the important parts of Brian had been printed over with the title No Regrets leaving only tantalizing indications of what was covered. “Cool cover.” It was Hunter who had appeared from nowhere. “Hey Hunter.” Michael and the rest said. “We weren’t expecting you today.” “Are you kidding, I heard about this book. I want an autographed copy.” Hunter pulled up a chair to the booth and watched as Brian and Justin opened the cover of the book. “Dedicated to our friends and family on Liberty Avenue” “Wow, you guys dedicated it to us.” Michael looked at the words. “What’s the book all about?” “It’s about the love between two fags and yes it has a happy ending.” This was Gus. Everyone stared at him. “Well isn’t that what you told me?” he exclaimed. “Justin’s pictures are out of this world.” Hunter had been flipping through the book. “Who did the writing?” “It’s mostly Brian, but some of it’s mine. It was a collaboration.” Justin leaned into Brian. “Fuck you used our real names.” Hunter said looking worried. “Don’t worry Hunter, there is nothing in the book negative about anybody and you are just as much part of our family as Mikey is or Gus.” Brian smiled at the younger man who had plagued him for so long. He’d realized right away that it was Hunter’s ploy for attention so he’d always treated him kindly. “The book is about Brian and I and how we developed as a couple. The rest of you were part of that, but it was really the two of us who did all the work.” Justin smiled happily. His left hand met Brian’s and they twined their fingers together. It was then that Hunter turned to the last sketch in the book. It was Brian and Justin’s hands as they were right at this moment. Twined together, locking fingers that shouted they were together the way they should be. completed March 20, 2005