The Taming Chapter 2 Plot bunny Katie (starlight) “SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT.” Justin at least waited until he had reached his car, gotten in and started it, before he let himself collapse against the steering wheel in a puddle of insecurity. He was shaking so bad he knew he couldn’t drive. All the lectures on what he’d do when he finally came face to face with Brian had flown out the window when he stood close to him and smelled that wonderful Brian Kinney smell, that still to this day could bring him to his knees. “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK” he shouted in the confines of his car. The unshakable knowledge that the love he’d felt for Brian six years before was not only alive and well but had increased in intensity, rushed through Justin’s body leaving him weak and tearful. Had he really wanted to teach Brian a lesson, or had he only wanted to put himself in a position of having the man see him everyday? Apparently he was fooling himself and had been for some time. Brian Kinney was fucking in his blood. Justin laid his head back against the headrest trying to calm himself inside. To anyone walking by Justin was a tired man dressed in a tuxedo. They wouldn’t see his heart pounding like it was attempting to escape the confines of his chest or his hands shaking with the need to touch the skin of the man he loved and had loved for years. Tears prickled behind his eyes until slowly they began to trace their way down his cheek. He angrily brushed them away. Brian Kinney wouldn’t make him cry anymore. He’d shed enough tears for that stubborn god damned Irishman. Damned if he was going to shed any more. A soft knock on the passenger side window made Justin turn his head. It was Daphne. He released the lock and she slipped inside the car with him. “It was worse than you thought wasn’t it?” she asked quietly. Justin nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Afraid that his resolve would crumble and once again he’d be crying on Daphne’s shoulder. Daphne sat silently beside her friend. She’d warned him that this might happen. It was her that had listened to Justin rail off and on about Brian for the last six years. She alone knew how desperately he still loved the man. Every second of every day since Brian had thrown Justin off the cliff and into the clutches of his father, Justin had thought about Brian, loved Brian, cried for Brian, needed Brian. Daphne knew of the countless sketchbooks filled with pictures of Brian, or of his hands, or eyes, or feet, or cock. Each part of the man idolized by her long time friend. Daphne thought it wasn’t healthy. Justin told her that he had a good life, he went out, had fun, and went to school, worked. The fact that he loved Brian, always had and always would didn’t affect his life. He could put the man in the back of his mind and function perfectly well. It was an old argument between the two of them and Daphne knew she didn’t have to say a word. Justin reached over and took her hand in has. “Thanks Daphne, for not saying anything.” He whispered through the lump in his throat. “When I stood so close to him, it was like six years ago all over again.” He couldn’t look at her. “The pain was just as intense.” “But you didn’t let him know it. I’m proud of you Justin.” She squeezed his hand. He gave a half laugh and turned to look at her. She’d been such a good friend to him through all of this. His eyes gleamed with unshed tears and he smiled sweetly. “I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing.” “I still think you shouldn’t be doing this.” She smiled at Justin. “You know this plan of yours is so much like a high school girl’s idea it isn’t funny.” “What can I say, I’m just a girl at heart.” Justin laughed bitterly. “I know it’s childish, but I want him to suffer like I have. I want him to cry himself to sleep at night, to die inside when my name is mentioned. I want him to feel the pain I feel.” “You want him back, be honest with yourself.” Daphne chided. “I can’t have something back I never had in the first place.” Justin’s voice was low. The words cracked in his throat he continued. “I want him to love me even half as much as I love him.” He sighed. “You think I’m stupid don’t you?” “No, I know what it’s like to love someone you can’t have so much that it hurts.” She smiled at him. Her eyes were filled with love and yet were sad. “Daphne” Justin knew what she was saying. She’d loved him since they were children and while he loved her as well, it was as a sister. It could never be the way she wanted, though there had been a time when he’d tried desperately to be the man she wanted him to be. He was lucky that they’d remained true friends despite his misguided efforts. “Come on, let’s go dancing. You always feel better when you’re dancing.” “I’m not dressed for clubbing.” Justin looked down at himself. He’d wanted Brian to sit up and take notice of the man he’d become. “Why don’t we go back to my place and send out for pizza.” “Okay, but I get to pick this time.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “It’ll be okay Justin. You do what you have to do. You know I’ll help you as much as I can.” “I know you will Daphne. I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing. I mean I thought I was, I certainly spent enough money on it.” “Hey, you could have blown it on coke, this way it’s going to a good cause.” She teased. “Coke, riiiiight.” Daphne knew he was allergic to so many things that he didn’t indulge in any recreational drugs for fear it would be his last indulgence. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Brian watched the blond disappear through the double doors of the GLC. He admired the graceful way Justin walked, with a slight sway to his hips that he knew wasn’t a conscious motion. Seeing Justin like that, so unexpected, had hit Brian hard. He could barely breathe, though anyone watching him only saw the sardonic smile on his face that he always had. He clutched the card Justin and shoved in his hand, crumbling it into a damp mess, the palms of his hands were sweating so badly. It was the only outward sign that there was any emotion “Hey Brian, was that your twink?” Michael asked, following Brian’s gaze. He’d appeared on the now deserted stage, quickly followed by Emmett, Ted and Ben. “Brian’s twink?” Ben questioned. “I didn’t know Brian had a twink.” “Ben honey, it was the talk of Liberty Avenue for months.” Emmett smirked. “But poof, just as things were getting interesting, Brian’s love toy disappeared into the dark recesses of Hetero World.” “Fuck you Emmett” Brian growled. “Much as I’d like to, I’m afraid my body belongs to another.” Emmett patted the side of Ted’s face. “His check will probably bounce.” Michael continued to glare in the direction Justin disappeared. “Oh sugar, not too likely, Justin Taylor not only owns one of the most successful graphic design businesses in the city, he’s also an artist of some stature.” Emmett looked smug that he had some knowledge the others didn’t. “And what company would that be?” Brian asked, already pretty sure he knew the answer. “Why Kinnetek Graphic Design. I work there as the receptionist. Part time of course, my party planning business is a priority. As a matter of fact, we at Kinnetek are having a bit of a soiree next week to celebrate the Pittsburgh opening of the business.” “Emmett, you never said a word about working for Justin Taylor.” Ted looked at his best friend. “Yes, Emmett, keeping secrets were you?” Brian asked. “Frankly my dear, I didn’t think you gave a damn what job I had.” Emmett looked at Brian. “And Teddy you knew I was working at Kinnetek.” “But you didn’t tell me Justin owned the place.” Ted spluttered. “Oh, sorry, sweetie, I didn’t think it mattered.” Emmett smiled apologetically. He looked at Brian and then back at Ted. “Brian, you aren’t going to go through with this thing are you?” Michael asked. “I mean everyone knows that you have to take him on seven days worth of dates. You don’t ‘do’ dates.” “I’ll honor the contract I signed.” Brian said. “There’s nothing there that says what kind of date I have to take him on.” He smirked and they all looked away. Brian was pissed about this and they knew what that meant. Look out Justin Taylor. “Brian, it’s amazing, Justin paid twenty thousand dollars for you” Lindsay had joined them on the stage. “Imagine capturing someone’s attention enough to have them spend that kind of money.” “He did get an income tax receipt for his money.” Brian drawled. “I’m sure that’s all that he wanted.” He laughed, the sound almost bitter. “He won’t last the week with me. No one tricks Brian Kinney into taking them out.” “Kinney, if Justin had wanted to trick you into going out with him, I’m sure he could have done it for less than twenty thousand dollars.” Brian turned and glared at Melanie, who only smiled back at him. “I mean, you’re known as rather easy when it comes to blond boy ass.” she laughed at her own joke before walking back to join her friends at the bar. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It was almost four in the morning before Brian stumbled into his loft. He’d spent the rest of the evening trying to drown the pain of seeing Justin again, but alcohol hadn’t been the answer. He could still feel the touch of Justin’s fingertips on his hand and smell the citrus scent of his shampoo, though he hadn’t really been close enough to smell him; it was just the residual memory of times gone by. He’d wanted to crush Justin’s body to him and hang on, never letting him go again. But instead of blue eyes filled with love and trust, blue eyes that had always been able to melt his heart, he’d been faced with blue eyes almost black with distain as Justin had looked at him while spouting his cutting words. Brian threw his tuxedo on the floor, a sacrilege he would never normally have committed. He rinsed his mouth under the bathroom tap and then threw himself on his bed. His hand automatically resting where Justin’s head used to lie. He caressed the ghostly head like he did every night before settling down to sleep. His bed was cold and lonely and he thought of the last time he’d seen Justin. It was one of his most painful memories but one he had tortured himself with over and over again for the past six years. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ “Cynthia” Brian barked. His head was killing him. He had barely been able to shower and get in to work this morning. Three hours of sleep was definitely not enough. “You screamed.” Cynthia handed Brian a large cup of steaming black coffee and then sat down in the chair on the other side of Brian’s desk. “I don’t scream.” Brian mumbled, though he had kind of screamed. Cynthia smiled and tilted her head, waiting for what ever it was Brian wanted of her. “What would you consider the worst possible place to take a date?” “You mean for me or for you?” “For me.” “You don’t go on dates.” “Say I was. Where would I go if I wanted this to be the worst date ever?” “Why do you want it to be the worst date? I mean really Brian, that sucks.” “Just answer the god damned question.” Brian tried to drink his coffee but burned his lip. He glared at Cynthia as if it was her fault. “Well, my sister and I went to this place just outside of Pittsburgh, the Brown Barn. It’s a dance club of sorts. All cowboys, skanky wenches, a riding bull in the corner, you know the kind of place I mean.” “Actually no I don’t.” Brian mused. “Well, it’s the kind of place where the band plays behind chicken wire because the audience is so rowdy. They’d get killed otherwise. There’s sawdust on the floor to soak up the blood, the beer and the puke. Your drink of choice is a shot and a beer chaser. The food could give you food poisoning, though people still eat there. And the music is loud, and very, very country.” “What is the dress code?” “Dress code? “Yes, what do they wear to a place like this?” “Jeans Brian, tee shirts and jeans.” “So if you were dressed in a suit, you’d kind of stand out.” “They’d never let you live it down.” “And fags, how do they feel about fags?” “Brian don’t even consider going there and being out and proud. You’ll get yourself killed. They wear bandannas to cover up their red necks.” Brian sat back in his chair and smiled to himself. Dinner and dancing, what more could Justin ask for as a first date. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin was having a hell of a time concentrating the next day. He shut himself in his office and tried to do some paper work. He was going to have to find himself an accountant. The business was rapidly getting too much for him to handle all of the necessary accounting. He’d ask Emmett if he could recommend someone or at least steer him in the right direction. “Hey Taylor, Daphne filled me in on your little idiocy.” Alan had slipped into his office unnoticed. “Fuck off Alan.” Justin continued to write checks. “Sooooo, where is the great and wonderful Mr. Kinney taking you tonight?” Alan lounged in the chair by the desk. “I have no idea, but I’m betting it won’t be what I would want or like. He was not exactly jumping with joy when I left him last night.” The thought of Brian’s facial expression caused Justin to give an uneasy giggle. He threw his pen down, giving up the pretense of work. “Well, you’d hardly expected him to greet you with open arms. Sweep you up and carry you off into the sunset on his white horse.” Now it was Alan’s turn to giggle. He’d had his Brian Kinney is god but a despicable asshole drunken confessions more than a few times in the past six years that he’d known Justin. “He did remember me though.” Justin had gotten a bit of satisfaction from that. “When he said my name, he said the same way he used to. Kind of purring but surprised.” Alan rolled his eyes and sighed. Clearly his friend was still living under some kind of delusion that Brian would fall madly in love with him. “Justin, oh fuck buddy of many years, let Alan fill you in on something. Seven dates are not going to get you anything more than a broken heart. We all may have to kill you and put you out of your misery or ours by this time next week.” “Well, they say that God created the earth in six days and rested on the seventh” Justin replied tongue in cheek. “They say a lot of weird ass things in that particular book. I’m thinking most of those guys were on something mighty strong before they took pen to paper, or chisel to stone or what ever the fuck. In fact the Holy Grail that old Monty was looking for was the source of that ‘special stash’, he knew it was some powerful smoke.” “You are sooooo irreverent considering your father is a Bishop.” “That my darling friend, is my father’s problem, not mine.” Alan flipped Justin a smoke. “I think I may have discovered the Grail, I got this sent to me from a buddy in British Columbia.” Justin rummaged in his desk for a lighter, pleased when he found one. Weed was one of the few things he dared to indulge in. “This is clean isn’t it, the teachings of Brian Kinney about drugs from others is always was present in my mind.” “Yes sir, Brian would approve.” Alan lit one up himself and moved over to sit on the floor under the skylight. Justin got up from his desk and joined him, both sitting cross legged, the sun beaming down on them as if they were spot lit. He took a deep drag, held it in as long as he could before letting the smoke swirl out of his nostrils. The hit was immediate and Justin smiled a heavy lidded smile at Alan. “Glad you came to visit. I was climbing out of my skin.” “Part of being a long term fuck buddy is the ability to know when to share weed.” Alan lay down on the floor, a much better position to blow smoke rings. “I’ve decided that if I don’t get the results I want by this time next week, I’m giving up on Brian.” “What, we can burn the Kinney shrine?” Alan was referring to the small box of memories that Justin had tucked away in his apartment. Little things from the few months he’d had with Brian. “I’m not saying I’d burn up the shrine.” Even Justin had taken to calling it that. “But I would put it as far back into the closet as I could reach.” “Ahhh, Kinney in the closet. I can do that.” Alan smiled. “It’s a good place for him.” “Oh my” Emmett had stepped into the smoke filled office with a letter for Justin to sign. He looked at his boss who lay head to head with his friend on the floor, both of them stoned. He giggled nervously. “Emmett, old friend, you’ve met Alan haven’t you?” Justin grinned up at Emmett, his eyes vague. “Alan’s my bestest fuck buddy in the whole world.” “That’s me” Alan waved his fingers. “Want a toke?” he offered the freshly lit smoke. “Go ahead Emmett, the boss won’t notice.” Justin said with a giggle. “Why not” Emmett dropped the letter on Justin’s desk and lay down his head on the floor so that they now formed a T. He took a deep toke “Oh my sweet Aunt Lizzy, this is some powerful stuff.” “I thought that Taylor might need to relax before his big date with the ogre Kinney.” “Ha, it’s me that Brian should be fearing.” Justin boasted. “I’m the one who had his heart broken in million teeny tiny little pieces.” The last was said in a falsetto voice. “That cold hearted Irish bastard kept his heart intact.” “Oh I don’t know Justin, Brian was not a friendly and happy camper when you departed for parts unknown.” Emmett’s words were slurred, this was good shit. “Doesn’t matter, he threw my boy off the proverbial cliff and now the sweet taste of revenge is close at hand.” Alan offered. “Though it appears that revenge is now having just a tiny little war with ‘love and kisses’. He laughed at his words finding them amazingly funny. Soon Justin joined him and then Emmett. Brian had a productive workday once he’d resolved what he would do for his one and he hoped, only date. He did give some thought around about four o’clock to Justin. He wondered what he was up to. Taking a chance he dialed Kinnetek. After all he did have to tell the blond what time he was picking him up for their ‘date’. “Kinnetek Graphic Arts, Emmett speaking, how may I direct your call.” “Emmett, put Justin on the line.” “Sorry Brian.” Emmett giggled “Justin is just a tad indisposed at the moment.” He giggled again. Brian looked at the phone in his hand. Emmett sounded stoned. “undispose him.” He barked. “Can’t - he’s got the munchies and is down the hall looking for something besides Alan’s dick to munch.” Emmett giggled again. “I’m sending out for pizza or none of the graphics guys will be safe. His appetite for dick is even bigger than yours.” “Who the fuck is Alan?” “Hey, is this the hot, but oh so old, Brian fucking Kinney?” “Who the fuck is this?” a strange giggle answered Brian, as there was a struggle for the phone. “Sorry Brian, but Alan wants to have his way with me.” “Write this down. I’m picking Justin up at seven. If he isn’t ready I’m not waiting.” Brian slammed the phone receiver down. What the fuck was Justin doing getting stoned in the middle of a workday? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Lindsay walked into the foyer of Kinnetek, she looked around, and you’d never know that this used to be a bathhouse. Justin had done an amazing job of renovating the place. “Hey Lindsay,” Justin had been walking out of his office when she appeared off of the street. He still had a slight buzz on, but the affects of the pot had worn thin. He kissed her cheek. “What brings you here?” Lindsay was sure she could smell the acrid smell of dope, but figured she must be mistaken. “I brought over the report forms. Each of the guys who bought a bachelor is supposed to write up a little thing about each date. We thought it would be fun to put them together in a little booklet for future auctions.” She handed him the folder she was carrying. “This could be fun.” Justin said with a smile. Alan and Emmett emerged from the back offices arm in arm. “Alan, leave Emmett alone, he’s supposed to be working.” “I couldn’t help it, Emm is such a tasty little morsel.” Alan grinned. He kissed Emmett and then Justin. “Ta ta for now.” He waved and headed out the door. “Sorry about that Linds, we’re a tad informal here at Kinnetek.” Justin waved his hand around. “Artists and all.” He said vaguely. “Oh boss, Mr. Kinney called. He said he’d pick you up at seven and not to be late because he wasn’t going to wait.” Justin smiled mysteriously. “I can hardly wait.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Brian hadn’t told him where they were going, so Justin put on a pair of dress pants with a white cotton shirt. He threaded a belt through the pant loops; it was one a friend of his had designed for him, the buckle an intricate stylization of his initials. He added Prada boots the same shade as the belt. Glancing in the mirror, he liked the way his nipple ring showed through the sheer fabric of his shirt. Adding a touch of kohl to his eyes made the blue stand out. A dash of cologne and he was ready for Brian. It was ten minutes to seven. Justin surveyed his luxurious surroundings. His apartment was the exact opposite of Brian’s. Where Brian had lean and spare lines and an almost harsh and spare interior, Justin’s place reflected the warmth and comfort of a old English sitting room. The leather furniture was down filled and comfortable, the carpets, designed by him, were brilliant and deep-jeweled tones. The paintings on the walls were some of his favorites, though he changed them often, all except the one in his bedroom. A full sized nude of Brian as he lay sleeping the first time Justin had stayed for the night. It was done in an impressionistic style and up close it was a swirl of color and power that radiated off of the canvas. But on the bed, looking over at the wall, it became the luscious contours of the man he loved. It was a painting that Justin would never part with. The door buzzer rang promptly at seven. Justin didn’t speak, but instead he released the catch, knowing Brian had expected him to come down. But also knowing that the man couldn’t resist coming up. A knock at the door heralded Brian’s arrival. Justin all but floated over to the door and opened it. “Hey” he said his voice breathy as he opened the door wide. “Don’t you think you should find out who is on the other side of the door before you open it Sunshine?” Brian asked using the old familiar nickname. He stepped inside Justin’s apartment taking everything in. “What, you didn’t bring me candy or flowers?” Justin teased as he picked up his leather Hugo Boss jacket off of the back of a heavy oak and leather rocker. “You’re allergic to flowers and you don’t need candy. I’m sure after your pot smoking afternoon; you had too much junk anyway.” Brian tried to keep his voice neutral, but being alone with Justin in a room that was obviously meant for relaxing in was tough. Justin only grinned at him; he was speechless that Brian had remembered his allergy to flowers. Taking Brian by the arm, he led him out of the apartment. “So Brian, where are you taking me tonight?” he asked when he could make his throat work. “Glad you asked Sunshine. It’s a little place Cynthia recommended on the outside of town called the Brown Barn.” Justin looked startled for a moment and then smiled to himself; Brian would be in for a big surprise if he thought the Brown Barn was going to turn him off. “Sounds good Brian, I love to dance and I hear they have some pretty good music there.” Brian wasn’t sure whether Justin was trying to be funny or not. He opened the door of the corvette for Justin. “Cool car Brian, mid life crisis?” Justin asked tongue in cheek. Brian didn’t answer with anything more than the slamming of the door. Justin giggled, straightening his face by the time Brian got into the other side. Neither man bothered with small talk on the drive to the Brown Barn. Instead they both pretended to listen to the CD that Brian had on. Justin was almost chortling to himself at what was going to happen at the Brown Barn and Brian was wondering if he’d made a big mistake. Justin was dressed a little too ‘gay’ to be well received if Cynthia’s description was accurate. Brian was wearing jeans and a dark shirt. They saw the neon sign lighting up the sky well before they arrived at the place. It was early yet but already the parking lot was filled with a combination of pick up trucks, old cars and motorcycles. Brian parked his corvette as far away from the rest of them as he could. He didn’t want to take a chance on someone hurting his precious car. “We could have taken my car Brian, it’s a jeep and would have blended in better, or the night is nice enough and I have an extra helmet, we could have taken my motorcycle.” “You have a motorcycle. Didn’t your mother ever tell you they were dangerous?” Brian asked, looking at Justin for the first time since they had gotten into the car. “I’m a big boy now Brian. I like the feel of a powerful engine vibrating between my legs.” He laughed at the look on Brian’s face. “You should try it sometime.” Justin didn’t wait for Brian’s reply but instead let himself out of the car. He stood up and stretched, knowing that his hard earned muscles rippled and showed through his unbuttoned jacket. “I hope they have something spicy on the menu. I’m starved.” He looked at Brian, “But I’m sure there will be something bland. I know that when you get older, you need to stay away from hot and spicy foods.” “Fuck you Justin.” There was no nicely sounded Sunshine in Brian’s voice now. “Oh I don’t think so Brian. I mean this is the first date and all and besides, did I mention that my days as a willing bottom boy are long over. They ended about six years ago.” Six years, one month, five hours and three minutes to be precise is what he was thinking as he hooked his hand through Brian’s arm and they headed toward the front door of the Brown Barn. Country music, laughter and shouts of glee erupted from the door when they opened it. A tall heavily muscled bouncer stood inside the door. He looked at Justin, his eyes raking him from head to foot. Brian could feel the hair on the back of his neck raising; all eyes in the place were trained on the three of them at the door. “What are you doing in here pretty boy?” The man’s voice rumbled. Brian was about to pull Justin back out the way they came. “Fuck you, you big assed, small dicked piece of shit.” Justin said hands on his hips. Brian’s face went white, “for fuck sake Justin are you insane.” He hissed. “Did all of you hear what this little faggot called me?” the man roared. He grabbed Justin and threw him up over his shoulder. “Just for that I’m going to make him sing for his supper.” Brian’s eyes were as big as saucers as he watched Justin being carted away and handed over the top of the wire cage that held the musicians. One of them handed him a guitar. Justin nodded at the group and they immediately began to play something familiar to Brian, it was a rough and raunchy song he’d heard once before. Justin’s voice belted out the lyrics as his fingers played the guitar he’d been handed. The audience clapped and cheered and roars of "Jaytee’s back" circulated the room. Brian felt himself being propelled to a table near the front of the stage. He sat down on the chair that all but was shoved under his ass by an unseen hand. A cold beer was plunked down on the table in front of him along with a shot of whiskey; the waitress waved away any payment. She leaned in. “Drinks are always on the house when he plays. I’ll order up dinner. It’ll be ready when Jaytee breaks.” A roar through the crowd went up when Justin tossed his jacket off. He threw it up and over the cage. It soon found its way to where Brian was sitting, still in shock over the whole performance. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Justin, who, shirt now open to the waist, gold nipple ring gleaming, was belting out his latest song of lost love and hopeful reunions. Someone handed Justin a bottle of water and in a familiar gesture, the sight of which wasn’t lost on Brian, Justin poured it over his head, shaking his head free of the water. He winked at Brian and continued to sing. The set ended with a sentimental ballad that had the dance floor packed. Brian listened to the words that Justin was singing and wondered if they were for him. Each and every word seemed to have some meaning of the time that he and Justin had shared. Their dinner arrived at the table at the same time as Justin did. “Jaytee, you should have told us you were coming tonight. Barry is going to be sorry he missed you.” the waitress purred as she served Justin a drink. “Hey Sandy, I’m off the market for seven days, but tell Barry I’ll be back. Isn’t he playing this week in New Jersey?” Justin asked. “Yes, but he’ll be back for the game here on Sunday.” She looked at Brian and explained. “Barry is a tight end for the Stealers.” “Yes, his certainly is a tight end, but when he’s here, he’s most definitely a wide receiver.” Justin said with a laugh. “Oh you” Sandy blushed. “Enjoy your dinner Jaytee. Are you going to sing again tonight?” “No, tonight is for Brian here. We will be dancing later though.” “Just one more song, I was hoping you’d do my favorite.” She looked at him. “I’m sorry, I’ll wait until next week.” “I’ll do two sets the next time I’m here Sandy. It’s date night tonight and my date is probably feeling left out.” “He’s not bad, not your usual type but not bad.” Sandy observed looking at Brian. “He’s also not deaf.” Brian drawled. He looked at the plates that now covered the table. “What the fuck is all this food?” “Dinner Brian, you are taking me to dinner, hence dinner is now on the table.” Justin explained with a grin. “I didn’t order this stuff.” Brian tried not to whine. “No, but it’s what I eat every time I’m here, so they just brought enough for two.” “But I don’t know what most of this stuff is.” Yes he was definitely whining. This date was not going as planned. “I know at your age you’re set in your ways. But eating can be an adventure. Try some; I won’t let you eat anything too weird.” Justin spooned something out onto Brian’s plate. “You’ll like this.” He took a small forkful and held it to Brian’s lips. Without thinking Brian opened his mouth to take the bite offered. He chewed; “Hey that’s not bad” he said and began to eat. He followed Justin’s advice and soon the plates were emptied. They had actually talked throughout the meal. It was then that Brian had learned that Justin and his friends had spent a lot of time here at the Brown Barn, it was near PIFA. The mural over the bar was one he and his friends had painted for the owner. And that while the place looked like a red necked hang out, it was a mixture of straights and gays, all of them getting along just fine. When dinner was finished and Sandy had cleared away their plates, Justin looked over at Brian. “I’m sure you are figuring out by now, that the little twink you left heartbroken in front of the diner has long been gone.” He stood up. “Hey stud, want to dance?” he held out his hand. “I don’t know if I can dance to this.” Brian said, his heart beating wildly in his chest. What he meant was he didn’t know if he could handle having Justin in his arms without doing something he realized now would be wrong. “Anyone can dance the Texas two step. I’ll show you.” Justin took Brian’s hand and led him to the dance floor. Soon they were dancing as if they’d never stopped. Their bodies moved as one, over and around the crowded dance floor. Brian relaxed by the second dance and was actually enjoying himself by the third. When the band broke for a rest, Brian and Justin sat back down at their table. Fresh drinks appeared along with a slice of a decadent chocolate cake and two forks. “They know you well here.” Brian observed as he looked at the table. “You haven’t lost your sweet tooth.” “It’s Sandy, she’s trying to butter me up to sing the love song I wrote a while back.” Justin flushed. He wasn’t about to sing that song as long as Brian was in the room. It had been written for Brian and about him. All the pain he’d been feeling combined with the love he had for the man was clearly evident in the words of the song. No it wouldn’t be sung tonight. “Why don’t you sing it?” Brian asked. “Your voice is great. A talent I never knew you had.” “Well twelve years of choir practice had to have some results.” Justin said with a laugh. “Though I’m sure my mother never would have expected them to lead me here to the Brown Barn.” Brian looked around, “no I can’t see Jennifer and Craig Taylor dancing up a storm.” He looked at Justin and ventured a question he’d been afraid to ask. “How is old Craig these days?” “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t spoken to him since the day I graduated from PIFA. He was a bit pissed when he discovered my Fraternity brothers were not only jocks, but raving queens whose flames burned almost as bright as Emmett’s.” Justin laughed. “It seems we had conspired against him for four years by not letting him know this little fact about their sex lives and mine. I pointed out that I didn’t ask about his sex life, so why would I tell him about mine. Apparently he didn’t see the humor in the situation.” He looked at Brian; “I was fucking the captain of the football team at the time, in his uniform. It was pretty hot actually, gotta love a guy in uniform.” Brian laughed at the picture Justin had presented. “Craig must have had a stroke.” He rubbed his ribs, imaginary pain from when Justin’s father had beaten Brian almost senseless seared through his body. Justin didn’t know about that and he never would. “Well he was a tad miffed. There wasn’t anything he could threaten me with. I’d started Kinnetek up two years before. I used to freelance graphic design for extra money. I’d sold some paintings and worked on a couple of videos, sold some of my songs, so I didn’t really need his money. Though I did make him pay every cent for my education. It was kind of a ‘fuck you’ to him that gave me some satisfaction. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t afford the money. The man spends money like water on whatever bimbo he’s fucking. Molly and I refer to them as flavor of the week. Mom’s divorced now and in real estate. She’s the one who found me my apartment and the office space for Kinnetek.” Brian wanted to ask, why the name Kinnetek, but he didn’t have the nerve. It would have to wait for another time. He stood up, the band was playing again. It was some kind of love song, the words were somehow poignantly familiar. “One last dance before I take you home?” Justin stood up and let Brian lead him to the dance floor. It was his song that Frank was singing; Sandy must have talked him into it. Justin let his head rest against Brian’s chest instead of holding him at arms length as he had done earlier. He listened to the words of the song, each one had been seared into his brain, the beat of Brian’s heart provided the tempo of the music and he lost himself in the arms of the man he loved. With his eyes shut, his words being sung out loud, the words he longed to say to Brian, it was almost like the real thing. The music was over far to soon and he moved away from Brian’s touch, not trusting himself to be close. “That was nice.” He forced a yawn. “it’s after midnight, I have a couple of meetings scheduled for the morning, so I’d better call it a night.” “I’ll settle the bill.” Brian said heading to the table. “Just take your coat, there isn’t a bill Brian.” Justin smiled softly, “I have a part ownership in the place. Tonight was on me.” Brian helped Justin slip on his jacket. “That isn’t part of the rules Sunshine.” He whispered into Justin’s ear. “I can’t help it if you took me to my own place.” Justin grinned at him. “You could have said something when you knew where we were going.” Brian took Justin’s hand as they headed for the door. “What and spoil all my fun.” Justin beamed. The bouncer at the door bent down and kissed Justin on the cheek. “Don’t stay away so long baby.” He rumbled. “I’ve missed you.” his hand caressed Justin’s face in that gentle way that only truly big men can do. “I’ve missed you too.” Justin said. He reached up and kissed the bouncer firmly on the lips. “Later” he said as he pulled Brian through the door. Brian stiffened when he heard the whispered ‘later’ that was something he and Justin had said to each other. It was ‘their’ word. He felt his gut twisting in jealousy, something he’d rarely felt before. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he didn’t like it. No he didn’t like it one damn bit. “You’re pretty familiar with the help there Sunshine.” His words sounded bitter even to his ears. Justin laughed. “I don’t have the ‘do them once’ rule Brian. I like to know whom I’m fucking. I like to please them and make them beg for more. Think of it as a kind of power trip.” “Aren’t you worried about some twink thinking there’s more too it than just fucking?” Brian’s words cut into Justin and he stiffened. Brian was still a prick; he had been stupid to think that he’d changed. “Maybe, if I fucked twinks that would concern me. But I don’t and frankly I’m up front with all of the guys I fuck. They know the score right from the beginning and if the lines become blurred and let’s face it, it happens. Then I make sure that I let them down gently. I don’t get my jollies from breaking hearts Brian. I leave that up to guys like you.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Brian asked. He leaned up against the corvette reluctant to get in because he knew that it would mean the evening was over. Justin pushed past him and opened the door. “You can take whatever meaning you want out of it Brian. It’s up to you.” he slid onto the leather seat. The cold leather wrapped around him, cradling his body. He sighed, longing for the other man heavy in the sound, as he watched Brian throw his cigarette down and walk around to the driver’s side of the car. Like the drive to the Brown Barn, the drive home was done without talking. Brian didn’t even turn on the music. A dozen times he almost said something, but each time he thought better of it. Justin looked straight ahead, the lights from other cars blinding him to the man he was sitting beside. His heart beat erratically with pent up passion. But years of practice in holding his fortress like walls in place did him in good stead. Brian pulled up in front of Justin’s building. “I’ll walk you to your door.” He said and began to unbuckle his seat belt. “Don’t bother.” Justin turned to Brian. “Where to for the next date?” he asked. “This was rather fun.” He could feel his heart beginning to crack. This was tough. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Brian answered; “I mean today” he looked at his watch. “You do that Brian.” Justin got out of the car. “Stay off the weed.” Brian half joked. “You know us artists, we are such flighty creatures.” Justin shut the car door and ran to his building. As he slipped inside he turned and waved his fingers at Brian. Justin barely made it to the elevator, the door hadn’t closed before he slipped to the floor, all the pent up frustration draining from his body. He wiped away a tear, his resolve about not crying anymore for Brian almost crumbling as the elevator took him slowly home. Brian watched Justin disappear through the elevator doors. He sat in his car trying to control the urge to follow the blond up to his apartment. A light flickered on above him. He wasn’t sure if it was Justin’s apartment or not, but he was content that the other man was safe Brian slowly drove home. Tbc.