Little White Lies Part 2 Notes: for Sharon and Misty - Special thanks to Lois for the great beta work - and for Susan - her marvelous pics define the fics. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Bree, do you want to go for a bike ride?" Gus raised his eyebrows at her to silently indicate that she was to answer positively. "Uh, ok" she said. "Can I borrow your bike Melanie?" "Sure honey. Gus don't be too long, it's a school night and Bree will want to get ready for her first day at St. James." "We won't be long. I just need some exercise and Bree can keep me company." The two children left the house quickly. When they were out of ear shot Bree said "Ok, what's up?" "It's about our Dads and you have to promise to keep it a secret." "I promise." "Dad knows that Justin is here and he knows it’s Justin who is going to look after him." "No shit" Bree exclaimed looking at him. "How could he know that? Did someone tell him?" "He's been sort of looking out for your Dad since he left. But nobody knew it. He really loved him." "Well he has a stupid way of showing it." "He can't help it. He thinks he's doing the right thing." "So, why doesn't he just say something?" "I don't know how my Dad's mind works. He's always got to do things the hard way. But he's sick and I kind of promised him I'd help." Gus blushed. "But I don't want to keep any secrets from you." "Really?" Bree was pleased. "That's nice. I've never had a real good best friend before. I'm glad I found you." Bree wasn't paying attention to Gus, but if she had, she would have seen him flush even a deeper red than before. "I think Dad figures that he needs to make your Dad fall in love with him again or something. I'm actually not sure what his plan is, but I do know that he wants me to make sure that his den is locked before you guys move in." "How come?" "Cause he has a bunch of pictures of your Dad there and he has some of his art that he bought since he left. He doesn't want your Dad to know." "That's dumb." "I know, but he's old and they think different when they're old." "So that's where we're going now?" she paused "To your Dad's house?" "Yeah, I figure we better look everywhere, he might have forgotten something. We can lock up anything that looks suspicious in his den." "Kewel" Gus turned his bicycle into a long driveway and Bree followed. "Wow awesome house." Bree said. "It was owned by some famous artist and it's designed to let in this amazing amount of light. The whole back of the house on that side" Gus said pointing to the left. "Is like all glass and is the studio. There's nothing much in there. Well, that's not really true. Dad bought canvases and a couple of easels and other stuff for it. And this really cool day bed and a sound system." He looked at Bree "Do you think he was hoping your Dad would use it someday? Cause Mom has asked him a zillion times to let her use it and he said no." "How come?" "He wouldn't say and with my Dad you don't bug him about stuff like that." "Can I see it?" "Sure, I'll give you the tour. I mean tomorrow you'll be moving in." Gus unlocked the front door and carefully turned off the alarm." It was kind of strange being in his father's house without another adult. Just him and Bree walking through spacious rooms. "Your Dad doesn't have much in the way of comfy furniture." Bree observed looking at the harsh lines of the Italian furniture Brian had always favored. "Yeah, he's not a comfy cuddly kind of guy." "Dad said he used to cuddle with your Dad all the time. They'd watch TV and eat popcorn and snuggle on the sofa almost every Sunday afternoon." "No way!" Gus was astonished. "He won't let me eat anything on the sofa." "That's what he said. He said your Dad would turn off the phone and lock the door and they would pretend no one was home." "Wow, it's kind of hard to see my Dad as a cuddly guy, but I can totally see your Dad that way." "Who's room is this one?" Bree stuck her head in one of the bedrooms. "That's my room for when I stay here. Want to see?" Gus led her into the room. "I've got some great CD's and the television is hidden. Look, push this button by the bed." Bree obliged and a framed map of the world slid along the wall exposing a twenty-seven inch television screen. "I like that" Bree marveled. "Where am I going sleep?" she walked over to Gus' bed "I kind of like this room" she looked at him and grinned, then fell backward on his bed stretching her arms out. "I could lay in bed at night and it would almost be like having you here." Gus rolled his eyes. "You're crazy, the room beside mine is kind of cool. We would share the same bathroom." He walked over to the bathroom. "See that's the door to your bedroom." "Hey, we could sneak into each other's rooms when the Dad's go to sleep." Bree looked into the other bedroom through the bathroom door. "That would be great. I wonder if you can sleep over next Friday?" "I asked Dad and he said that he might not be feeling too good because they're going to start rebuilding him." "That really sucks doesn't it? I mean I know what your Dad looked like, 'cause I've seen him all over our house. And Dad said that your Dad was very conscious of every little tiny wrinkle. Now what's he going to do?" "I don't know and I'm kind of worried about that part. I think that's why everyone wanted your Dad here. They all said that he could get my Dad to do lots of stuff he wouldn't do with anyone else." Bree glanced at her watch. "We'd better hurry up or your Moms are going to have a fit." "Ok, I know about the stuff in the den. But I think there's some pictures of your Dad in his bedroom." Bree followed Gus down the hallway. Gus opened one of two doors into his father's bedroom. "I thought so." He said and walked over to the king sized bed and took two framed pictures off of the nightstand. He showed Bree. "See how cool they looked together" he showed her the picture of Brian standing behind Justin at the GLC, his arms wrapped around him possessively while he kissed Justin's ear. The other picture was of Justin dressed in a business suit. "Hey that's one of the pictures from last Christmas. How did your Dad get that?" "I don't know" Gus studied the picture. "Are you sure?" "Yes I'm sure. See that little shiny thing?" she pointed to the smallest finger on Justin's hand. "That's the pinky ring I gave Dad for Christmas" she looked at Gus and burst out laughing. "That's sooooo cooool, your Dad is a stalker." "It sort of looks like that alright" Gus grinned at her. "We better put these in the den and beat it home." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Bree was silent on the bicycle ride back to Gus' home. She had a lot to think about. "Gus, I'm going to get my stuff ready for tomorrow, I'll see you in the morning." "What's to get ready Bree? We all wear uniforms." Gus was genuinely puzzled. Melanie had been sitting on the porch waiting for the two children to arrive home. She heard Bree and Gus and couldn't help but smile. "Girls are different Gus. They need extra prep time." She laughed. "And with all that hair, I suspect Bree needs a lot of prep time." "It's not too bad Melanie, I have a system that I worked out when I was younger." Bree shared. Melanie smiled to herself; Bree was a baby still as far as she was concerned. "I can't imagine having to deal with all of it myself. Have you ever considered getting it cut shorter?" "I love Bree's hair Mom, it's like silky spun gold." Gus blushed furiously at his spontaneous words. "Why thank you kind knight. If you like it so much, you can help me brush it. Dad usually helps but he's been kind of preoccupied." "You want me to brush it?" Gus asked, astonished. "It's not that hard Gus, but I have to have it brushed twice a day and it really is kind of long. I actually have been considering cutting it shorter." "I can help." He offered gamely. "I'm not exactly sure how to go about it though." "Think of me as this very furry cat. I can sit on the floor and we can watch TV. You can brush it like you would a cat. It keeps the tangles sort of under control. Dad braid's it sometime. Do you know how to braid?" "Sure I can do that." Gus was pleased at knowing at least of something - that he could do to help. "Cool Gus." She smiled at Melanie and Gus. "I'm going to get ready for bed and I have a couple of things to do. But if you don't mind Gus, if Dad isn't home before bedtime, could you help me with it? I braid it at night because when I'm sharing the bed with Dad he says it gets in his mouth when he's sleeping. He said he has nightmares about being strangled by it. But I think he's just kidding." "Alright, call me when you need help." Gus watched her walk inside. He gave a long sigh and Melanie laughed. "Well, Gus my boy, I'd say you have it pretty bad." "Moooom" Gus was embarrassed. "Bree is just a friend." He didn't even try to deny understanding what his mother meant. "I was only making an observation honey." Melanie pulled him in for a hug. "When did you get so tall?" she asked. "It was only yesterday your Mom and I brought you home from the hospital." Gus gave her a hug back. "I think it was bit further back than that Mom. Is it true that Justin named me?" "Yes, he did." "And Dad didn't mind?" "Your Dad asked him. I think the big bad Kinney had fallen hard for his blonde twink even then. Of course he never would admit that. It took me a lot of years to realize how much he loved Justin. I've always felt bad that I never did anything to help them stay together." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Bree walked into the room she was sharing with her Dad. It would be nice to have her own room again. She was looking forward to that part of moving into Brian's house. She wondered where her father was as she made sure that her uniform was ready for tomorrow. Then she bent down and picked up her backpack and pulled out a bundle of notebooks and her pencil case. She took them over to the small desk in the corner of the room. Using the markers with the calligraphic points, Bree carefully labeled each notebook with the names of the courses she would be taking. And as she had done for the past three years, she labeled two of them exactly alike with one exception. At the top right hand corner of one of the books, she added the small figure of a cat. On the rest she placed the same cat in different locations so that to the casual observer, all of her notebooks were identical. Checking that her Dad's rental car wasn't parked in front. Bree sat back down at the desk and opened the notebook with the cat in the top right hand corner. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Journal of Brianna Taylor She started all of her journals like this even though her last name was Chanders, she always thought of herself as Taylor. Someday when she had enough money, she was going to have her name legally changed. She began to write - her journals had begun as an outlet to be able to 'vent' her feelings without making her father feel bad. He was always so worried he wasn't doing a good job raising her. 'Tomorrow I start a new school in a new country. I met the man my Dad has been in love with forever and I met the boy I'm in love with. I think that the Taylor family is doomed to fall in love at an early age with inappropriate people. It's probably a family curse that has been lost through the generations. Sounds interesting and exciting, right?????? NOT. I have to wear a uniform and I look stupid in it. It obviously was designed for some skinny, long legged bitch, instead of a short dumpy one. I HATE being SHORT. Dad’s old flame is kind of a grouch but he's sick so that's probably why. Dad had this really stupid idea about looking after him when he gets out of the hospital. That isn’t the stupid part - well it is sort of - the stupid part is that Dad won't tell Brian (that's Gus' Dad) who he is. Brian can't see him right now because part of what's wrong with him is his eyes aren't working right now. Even I can tell that Dad's idea is a dumb idea. What's even more amazing is that all the friends here think it's a brilliant move on Dad's part. GO FIGURE. AND Gus' Dad is just as bad. He KNOWS all about my Dad but doesn't want him to know he knows. HOW LAME IS ALL OF THIS? Gee I wonder why these two idiots have been apart for a zillion years. Could it be because they haven't got a CLUE?????? Now comes the really shitty part - I met the guy of my dreams and he's FUCKING GAY. I mean he hasn't said anything, but I just KNOW he is. I had to put the run on a bunch of 'shit for brains' jocks that were picking on 'MY MAN' (I can dream can't I?) Welcome to St. James. The whole school probably knows what I told these guys. I am going to be sooooo hated. AND I can't tell Gus that I'm worried because he's kind of sensitive. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Bree sighed and put her journal away. She gathered up her pajamas and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. "Hey Gus" Bree said. She was standing in the doorway of the family room in her pale pink pajamas holding a hairbrush in her hand and two elastics. "Can you help with my hair now?" Gus had been sprawled on the sofa watching Buffy "Sure" he scrambled to sit up. "Tell me what to do." "Sit wherever you're comfortable. I'll sit on the floor between your legs." She handed him the brush and proceeded to sit down, resting her back on the sofa and enjoying the feeling of Gus's long legs on either side of her. "Start brushing. I brought some hair elastics for the ends if you can help me braid it." By the time Justin arrived home he found Bree watching television with a satisfied smile on her face. Gus had managed to braid one side of her hair and was working on the other. Justin could see Bree's hairbrush and he could also see how uncomfortable Gus was. He suspected it had to do with the amazingly hard boner the kid probably had. "Hi Dad" Bree said with a smirk. "Hi Justin." Gus echoed painfully. "You kids watching television?" Justin asked. He knew that only Bree would be able to tell him anything about the program. I didn't look like Gus could even see straight. "Yes Daddy, Gus is helping me with my hair." "I see that. Good job Gus." "She sure has a lot of hair." He finished up the last braid. "She certainly does. Of course if she uses it to get her own way too often we could go for the 'shaved head' look." Justin tried to look at her crossly. "I have no idea what you're talking about Dad." Bree stood up. "I'm going to bed now Gus. Thanks for helping me with my hair. I'll see you in the morning." Justin and Gus watched her leave the room. "I'll let you in on a secret Gus. You've just been played. That little vixen is more than capable of doing her own hair. She's been doing it for years." "She said you helped her Justin." "I did, when she was five." Justin patted his shoulder. "It's all part of the 'spring mating ritual of females’. She'll get over it and you can go back to living your life normally." Gus sat in front of the television staring blankly at the screen after Justin left the room. "What if I don't want my life to return to the way it was" he thought "What if I want to touch Bree's hair." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "What took you so long?" Brian griped when Justin walked into his hospital room. "I've been waiting here for hours." "Actually, Mr. Kinney you aren't scheduled to be released until eleven. It's ten thirty now. I thought I'd come early and see whether you wanted to put some clothes on rather than travel home in your robe." "I'm sorry Jay, it's just that the hours drag, I can't see anything, I hurt like hell, if I never have another sponge bath it'll be too soon. I need to have a shower. My hair feels like a dirty old dog's fur. I'm sick and tired of having to ring for someone to take me to the damn bathroom and I want all this crap off of my face." He indicated the bulky bandages. "Any other things that you want to whine about? I have all day. Let me sit down if it's going to take awhile." Justin walked over to Brian's bed and deliberately scraped the feet of the chair over the floor to show he was about to sit down. "Ok, I'm ready. Now you were saying?" Both men sat in silence. Almost five minutes passed. Brian was furious that Justin was making fun of him and he didn't dare say a word unless he wanted to reveal that he knew the little shit's identity. "Nothing more to say Mr. Kinney?" Justin asked. "Well let's tackle some of the more irritating problems for you. "I'm going to change the dressings on your face and as I do that I’ll clean your face up a bit. I'll be putting back as little as possible. I want the wounds to get some air, but we want them covered on the trip to your home. When I have your face cleaned up we'll do something with your hair before we add these designer bandages." He stood up. "I'm going to move the bed so that you're more upright. Here, let me put my hand on you here." He put his hand on Brian's shoulder gently. "Now the bed is going up. Concentrate on my hand for stability." The bed moved and for the first time Brian hadn't felt panicked with the movement. "See that wasn't so bad. I know your ribs will give you some grief for this next part. What we're going to do is get you off the bed. We'll go to the bathroom and the next part is kind of kinky, but it's the only way I can figure out how to do this. We're going to have a shower. Well you're going to have a shower and I'm going to help. I may have to get in with you, but I promise your tender young body is safe, I'll keep my pants on. I'll only be making sure that you're clean with as little water as possible getting on your facial injuries. We'll wash your hair at that time." "What about this cast?" Brian indicated the bulky walking cast. He couldn't see it but it felt like it was the size of a large doghouse. "I wasn't a boy scout for nothing" Justin said. I've brought a plastic bag to put over it." "You seem to have everything covered." Brian said. Justin could almost see that tongue in cheek smirk that he grew to love so long ago. "I try Mr. Kinney, I try." He picked Brian's hand up. Put your hand on my shoulder and we'll get you standing up. I've brought some fresh things for you to put on when we're done." Brian could smell the familiar aroma of Justin that never had changed and he wasn't surprised to feel his cock stirring. He concentrated on keeping it down. Moving slowly, he managed to get his legs off of the bed with Justin's help. He hated feeling so helpless and was hoping that once his ankle and ribs healed he would at least be able to move freely around his home. "I'm ready whenever you are S - hit" he said. 'damn he almost called him Sunshine.' "Sorry," he said to Justin. "I must have tweaked my ribs when I moved just then." "I've heard worse Mr. Kinney." "I thought I told you to call me Brian" he was trying to concentrate on walking while using Justin for support. "Did they move the bathroom? It sure seems far away." "The bathroom is where it always was and here it is. You might as well use the toilet while I get the shower started. I'm going to let you sit there for a short while. I have to get the tray in to remove some of the old dressings." Brian was impressed that Justin had managed to give him privacy in the bathroom while at the same time not making an issue of it. It was something that he'd come to hate while in the hospital, the complete and utter lack of privacy. A few minutes later Justin gave a gentle knock on the door. "I've brought the tray Brian." He looked at Brian and it was all he could do to stop himself from kissing the bandaged forehead. "You might feel a bit of tugging on some of the wounds, I'll try to be a gentle as I can. Brian sat still while Justin began to snip away at the bandages, slowly one by one removing them all. Justin cut away the bandages; he had to stop frequently to wipe his face to keep the silent tears from falling on Brian. For the first time he was glad that The proud man was unable to see the damage that had been caused. Between the discolored bruising, the last of the swelling, the gawd awful disinfectant that had been used, the cuts and the broken bones were healing badly. Brian's face was a nightmare. Justin realized that this was the initial stage and that with time and many surgeries, Brian would be put back as close as possible to the way he was. But fuck, it tore his heart in jagged pieces to see him like this. Brian was unnerved by Justin's silence. "How bad is it Jay? I've talked to the plastic surgeon and he's explained about some of the things he's going to do. But it really doesn't make a lot of sense. I guess I have to see it to know." "Your face is healing nicely Brian. It's probably just as well that you can't see it right now, because the first few days after an injury aren't the best. But I won't lie to you ever, it's not great, but it will get better. The good part is, you'll probably end up looking mysteriously handsome and any scarring can be passed off as an adventure you've had in your youth." "I wonder if the man I love will still want me?" Brian asked. Justin felt a sharp pain. "The man you love?" he took a deep breath "I didn't know you were involved with anyone." "It's a long story Jay. I'll tell you about it sometime maybe. We'll probably have lots of time to bore each other over the next few weeks. I met him a long time ago." Brian was silent. "Jay do you think it's possible to love just one person, or is that foolish hype put out by frustrated hetros?" "No I think it's possible." "Do you feel that way about your wife?" "My wife? I don't have a wife." Justin was puzzled. "You have a daughter, I just assumed you must have a wife." Brian thought 'there you little brat chew on that one for awhile.' "Bree is mine, but her mother and I were never married. She's my best friend and has been since we were four, but no, Bree's mother and I have our own lives. It was easier on everyone for Bree to stay with me." "Bree is an unusual name." "It's Brianna actually, she was named for someone who meant a lot to me." "A relative?" "A long story Brian. Let's get you into the shower. The faster we do this the faster you'll be home in your own bed. I even bought some things for lunch. You've lost too much weight in here. You need to eat more." Justin bent and pulled the plastic bag over Brian's cast, securing it with elastics. "I'm going to take this delightful little number you're wearing off of you." He undid the gown Brian had on. "Now I'm going to take off most of my things - I don't want to get too wet." Brian could hear him removing his shirt "You could take off everything Jay, it's not like I'm going to be seeing you and it would make it a lot easier on you rather than leaning into the shower." "But, it's not very professional Brian." "But it's practical Jay." "We'll see." He placed his hand on Brian's arm. "Shower time, let's get soaking wet." Brian could hear the grin in Justin's voice. "There used to be a song with those words a long, long time ago." "So they tell me Brian." He helped him into the shower and adjusted the warm spray from the hand held nozzle. "I think we'll do your hair first, and work our way down. I'm giving you the soap and you can do the parts you can reach. Let your head lean back so I can do your hair first." Brian ached all over, yet feeling the warm water in his hair, and then the gentle fingers massaging it into his scalp, was surprisingly erotic despite his injuries. He sighed contentedly and only then did he realize that Justin was using his shampoo from home. "Did you go to the house for my toiletries?" he asked. "No, I brought my own, I figured I had to pack anyway for the move to your place. I hope you don't mind." "The shampoo smells familiar." "It's a favorite of mine. I wasn't able to get it for a number of years, but I was finally able to track it down. It brings back memories for me that I never want to forget." Brian let Justin rinse the shampoo from his hair. "That feels great Jay. I hated knowing that my hair hadn't been washed in darn near two weeks." "I aim to please." Justin moved the spray over Brian's body. "Let's step up the pace a bit Brian, we need to get you home." He took the soap from Brian's hand and washed the taller man's back and he remembered all the showers they had shared and what would happen each and every time. He hated that he'd waited until now to find Brian again. "Ok, all rinsed." He shut off the shower and stepped out into the bathroom. His hand touched Brian's arm. "Careful, the plastic bag on your cast will be slippery." He helped him out of the shower and handed him a towel. "Here's a towel, see what you can do with it while I get dressed." "You aren't going to dry me?" "Your arms aren't broken Brian. I'll help with the hard to reach spots if you need me." Justin was soon dried and dressed again. He moved to Brian and began to dry his back with another towel. "Here's your deodorant" he put it in Brian's hand. "Now I'm going to take the plastic bag off. Hold onto my shoulder for balance." He slipped it off the cast. "Looks good, not wet at all. Now I've brought a pair of loose fitting lounging pants for you to wear home. I've slit the leg to go over the cast, but I'll pin it back in place. Hold me for balance again." He managed to get the pants on Brian. "Looking good Brian. Let me help you with this shirt." "This doesn't feel like my stuff." "It isn't. A fellow called Emmett brought these things over for you." "No way, I'm not wearing something Emmett thought up out in public." Brian turned abruptly away from Justin. The sudden move made the room start to spin and he could feel himself starting to black out. Justin moved behind him and caught him under his arms letting both of them sink to the floor. Brian's back resting against Justin's chest as he sat with his back against the door. "What happened?" Brian asked when he realized that he was on the floor being held in Justin's arms. "You were being an asshole." Justin said with fervor. "You don't talk to your employer with much respect." Brian observed, but he did feel guilty for causing Justin to have to rescue him. "Brian, you could have been hurt worse. I don't even want to think about your face if you'd ended up on the floor front down." He shuddered and Brian could feel Justin's body trembling. "I'm sorry." "I know you don't know me. But I would never let you wear anything that would make you look bad. I have too much respect for you to do that. The pants are a nice tan cotton. The shirt is a darker shade of the same color and it's Indian cotton. It looks nice and sure as hell a lot better than a hospital gown." Brian realized that what Justin had said was true. He did trust Justin not to make him look foolish. "I'm sorry" He began to struggle to get up even though he loved the feeling of Justin's arms around him. "Hold still and let me help. The whole point of having a qualified nurse with you is to use their experience to help you recover." Justin soon had Brian up and back to the bed. "Sit down on the bed. I need to finish with your face. I have to keep your eyes covered because we'll be going outside. But when we're at your home, at least while you're in your bedroom, you should be able to wear dark glasses." Brian sat quietly while Justin worked. The pain in his face was becoming overwhelming. Justin noticed the pinched look around his lips and checked his watch. "I'm almost done Brian. Then I'm going to give you a shot to keep the pain down while we drive home." He finished up then prepared the drug. "Can you put your arms around me and lean over a bit? I'm going to give this to you in your hip." He pinched the skin and then quickly administered the shot. "It should take effect quickly. It's ok." He could feel the tenseness in Brian as he tried to control the pain. Brian's arms stayed around him and Justin began to rub circles in Brian's back. "Relax Brian, let the drug work it's way through your system." Gradually Justin could feel Brian's body relax. "I'm going to help you into the wheel chair and don't say a word about it. For one thing the drug I just gave you is going to make you unsteady and for another everyone gets to ride out of the hospital in one of these." "Did I say a word Jay?" Brian smiled. With the pain beginning to recede he could sit in the chair and enjoy the feeling of being clean for a change. He could hear Justin tidy up the bathroom and then assemble the few things that Brian had to take home. "I'm putting the duffle bag in your lap Brian. Hold onto it." "K' Brian said, his voice slurred. 'Boy, Justin has some good drugs.' He thought. "I have to stop on the way out to pick up the rest of the drug prescription. You should actually be taking the pill form, but your doctor has given me some of the stronger stuff for after your surgeries and for times like this." Brian just listened as Justin talked. It was nice to hear his voice rattling on. He'd never realized how much he'd missed Justin's voice until the day he'd shut that damn door, to never hear it again for so long. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Justin wheeled Brian down the hallway and into the elevator. He steadied him by putting his hand on Brian's shoulder as they descended to the lobby. "We're almost out of here Brian." He whispered to himself. 'I love hearing him whisper things......, he always thought he was being so careful and that I'd never hear him, but I did and I missed it when he was gone.' Brian thought. He heard the elevator doors open and felt himself propelled out and then pushed over a smooth floor. He could hear voices all around him and for a moment he felt panicked then the gentle touch of Justin's hand on his shoulder grounded him instantly and he allowed himself to relax. Justin would never let anyone hurt him. Warm sunlight fell on him and he knew he was outside. Finally they stopped. "We've arrived at your chariot. I'm going to throw the bag in the back and then I'll help you into your seat." Justin took the bag and Brian heard it hit the back seat. Then the blonde put Brian's hand on his arm. "Stand up and lean on me for support. Remember the cast is larger than you think and it's hard to compensate for when you get in the car." Brian did as he was told. He allowed himself to be steered in the direction of the seat. He felt it with his hands and then slowly and laboriously climbed in. "What kind of car is this?" he asked. "When your assistant called, I had her rent a Jeep. I figured it was probably the easiest for you to get in and out of." "I've always had a fondness for Jeeps, even though I haven't owned one in years." "They aren't bad" Justin agreed. 'I know that you like jeeps Sunshine, I bet yours is in the long term parking at the Vancouver Airport.' Brian smiled as well as he could and said. "What do you drive when you're at home?" Justin did Brian's seat belt up. "Excuse me Brian, but I have to take the chair back inside. I'll be right back." He wasn't about to tell Brian that he'd always driven a black Jeep. It was a sentimental gesture, but he didn't care. 'Smooth move Sunshine' Brian thought. Justin returned to the Jeep. He could see from Brian's posture that his bravado was just that - bravado and he was probably a lot more uncomfortable that he was willing to admit. "It won't be long until you're tucked into your own bed Brian. Relax and enjoy the ride home." Justin moved out into traffic and began the drive to Brian's home. He'd spent some time the evening before locating the house and plotting the best route to take to get the man he loved there with the least amount of twists and turns and bumps. He looked over and noticed Brian's lips were pinched shut and almost white from the effects of being in a car again and not being able to see what was happening. He put his hand on Brian's and was surprised when Brian clenched it like he was drowning. They were near a park and Justin managed to pull over awkwardly using his other hand to turn the jeep off and put the emergency brake on. He could see the beads of sweat on Brian's top lip and he ached to kiss them off. Instead he began to speak soothingly. "Brian, relax. You're safe in here with me." He managed to exchange his right hand for his left one. He smoothed the roughed up auburn hair back from Brian's forehead. "It's alright, take a couple of deep breaths." Justin could feel Brian trembling. He put his arm around him and gently held him, careful not to hurt his healing ribs. Gradually Brian's trembling stopped. "Sorry, Jay, I don't know what happened." Brian let himself lean into Justin relishing the feeling of safety the blonde's touch gave him. "A little panic attack. It's normal Brian. You haven't been outside in a moving vehicle since your accident. We'll sit here and enjoy each other's company until you feel we can continue on home." They sat in silence for a few minutes. "I feel like an idiot." Brian's voice was rueful. "Hmmm that's not what you feel like to me" Justin teased. Hearing the old familiar teasing note in Justin's voice gladdened his heart and he huffed a laugh. "I bet you say that to all your patients" "Nope, only to the Drama Princess ones." "We can go now Jay." Resisting once again the urge to sink into Brian's lips. Justin removed his arm and with a final pat to Brian's knee, once again started the Jeep and headed into traffic. "I went by earlier today and put some things in the fridge and moved my suitcase and Bree's in. I made sure that everything was ready for you." "It's lucky Lindsay has a spare key, I don't know where any of my stuff went." "I've got everything you had on you at the time Brian, including your wallet and your keys. I put your wallet on the dresser in your room along with your keys." "Thanks Jay." "Interesting house Brian. I looked around. I hope you don't mind." "I bought it a few years back." "I see there's a studio, do you paint?" "No" Brian sighed. "I was hoping it would be used by an old friend. I must have been in some kind of fantasy world at the time. But when the realtor showed me the house I could picture him in the studio and I had to buy it." "And did he ever use it?" "Not yet." "Bree is an amazing artist. Did you know that?" "No, how could I?" Brian remembered the paintings she'd done for the Aids Walk Campaign last fall. He'd been lucky enough to buy one before they were all sold. "She did some things last year that helped raise quite a bit of money for the Aids Walk Campaign in Vancouver." "You sound like a proud father." "I guess I am." "If Bree wants to use the studio she can. I understand the lights pretty good for a painter." He paused. "You can use it too, I love your stuff. I have one of your paintings in my office." "You do?" "Yes, I actually found it in a gallery in Seattle three years ago. When Dr. Barrett mentioned your name I remembered the painting." "It's the one with two men facing the ocean, or at least I think it's the ocean. They are standing on a sea wall and one has his hand on the shoulder of the other. There are two small children playing in the sand behind them and a big black dog watching the children." Justin laughed. "I remember that one. Most of it was a fantasy of mine but the dog was real. That was Auntie Em, she was a Newfoundland dog and devoted to Bree. Unfortunately she died last summer. Bree and I both agreed to hold off on getting another dog. Somehow it just didn't seem right to replace Auntie Em." "Funny name for a dog." Brian laughed. "She was named after an old friend. She reminded me of him." Brian wondered how in hell a big black hairy Newfoundland dog could possibly remind Justin of Emmett. "Oh, you have a big black hairy friend?" he couldn't help but ask. Justin smiled. "No, it was her personality - she was exactly like my friend." "Interesting" "We're here Brian." Justin pulled up to the house and parked the jeep. "You must be tired and hungry. I'm going to get you into bed and then fix you some lunch." "I'm not hungry, but I wouldn't mind lying down." Brian admitted. "You have to eat, so don't bother arguing with me." Justin had moved to the other side of the jeep, opened the door and undid Brian's seat belt. "Keep your right hand on my shoulder and we'll be inside in no time." It wasn't long before Justin and Brian were standing inside the spacious foyer. "Are you still waiting to decorate the house Brian? It seems a bit bare." "It's supposed to look like it does. I've spent a lot of money to get it to look like this." "It's great." Justin said "if you like hotel lobbies' was said under his breath. 'I know what you're thinking Sunshine, you find it cold and unfeeling.' Brian remembered Justin's words about his loft. And he also remembered how the cold and unfeeling look disappeared in only a few days of Justin living with him. "I heard that Jay." Brian smirked as best he could. "Sorry" Justin said, but he didn't sound sorry. "Let's get you settled in." he put his arm through Brian's and they walked to the master bedroom. "I assumed that the room with the most clothes in the closets and the biggest bed had to be yours." He helped Brian to the side of the bed and slipped off his shoe. "Do you want to lie on top of the bed until after lunch? I can get you into something more suitable for bed if you'd like." Brian remembered the pictures on the side table. He felt around. "Jay, there were two pictures here. Do you see them?" "Sorry, no pictures Brian. Maybe your cleaning lady moved them." Brian didn't think so. She never moved anything, just cleaned around it. Gus must have thought he was helping and put them in the den. "I must have moved them. It doesn't matter." He maneuvered himself until he could lay back on the pillows. "I'm tired and I could use another pain shot." "No more shots unless you have to have them. I do have a pill you can take, but you need to eat something first. I'll be right back with your lunch." Brian didn't say anything. Instead he concentrated on relaxing hoping to keep the pain in his face under control long enough to eat enough to take the drug. Justin was back in the room in less than five minutes. "Here you go. Are you awake?" he asked. "I'm awake and my fucking face is killing me." Brian struggled to sit up. "Let me help you. I know your ribs are still in bad shape." Justin leaned down and put his arm behind Brian's back. "Hold onto me and we'll sit you up together. Let me do the lifting. I'm a lot stronger than you might think." 'You always were Justin, you always were' Brian thought. "Shit Jay, maybe I should have stayed in the hospital." Brian sat on the edge of the bed, his arms hugging his ribs not sure which pain was worse and deciding each part of him was equally painful. Justin put a glass in Brian's hand. "This is vanilla Ensure. It's nice and cold and you can take the pill with it." He placed a small paper pill cup in Brian's hand. Brian grimaced as he drank "This stuff tastes like shit." "It's got lots of good things in it. I'm sure you've drunk worse at the gym." Justin thought, in fact I know you have. "Made you a sandwich. It's turkey breast sliced thin on whole wheat with no mayo." He took the empty glass from Brian's hand and replaced it with a quarter of a sandwich. Brian was pleased that Justin had remembered his favorite lunch. "This is a small sandwich" he observed but ate the quarter obediently. "It's been proven that with finicky eaters, that a small portion results in them actually eating more than they would if faced with a larger one." "I think you've been watching too many cat food commercials Jay. In fact I think I wrote that one." Brian had found the sandwich plate on the bedside table and was eating the second quarter. "I don't think so Brian." Justin watched him reach for a third quarter and smiled to himself. "I'll go get you a glass of cold water, you haven't been drinking enough water in the hospital." "I don't like tap water." "I never said I was getting you tap water." He watched Brian take the last quarter. He was smiling all the way to the kitchen and back. It was the most Brian had eaten at one time since he'd been in the hospital. "Here, I kept it in the bottle." Justin handed him a bottle of cold water. He watched as Brian drank remembering their first night when still wet with the water he'd poured on his head, Brian had held him for his first intense kiss at the loft. "Jay, I need these clothes off. I'm not sleeping in my bed dressed." Brian stood up and began to unbutton his shirt. Justin helped him slip it off of his shoulders. Then helped him step out of his pants. "Point me in the direction of the bathroom. I need to piss." Justin had Brian hold his arm and he walked him to the bathroom. "Could you do it sitting down. Your aim won't be the best." Brian sat down on the toilet. "If you ever tell anyone that I sit to pee, I'll kill you." "Your secret is safe with me." Justin laughed. He watched as Brian stood, managed to find the handle to flush the toilet and walked over, barely hesitating to the sink to wash his hands. "You are a lot more confident walking around here in your home. I'm glad we brought you here." Brian headed back to bed, his hand outstretched in case he missed the door. He wasn't fast, he didn't want to fall or hit himself on anything. But he was familiar with the location of his bed and it didn't take much to find it. He reached down and pulled back the covers and then crawled in gratefully sinking into his own pillow. The pain pill Justin had given him was beginning to work. Justin pulled the covers up over Brian's shoulder and quietly left the room with the lunch plate. Brian's skin burned with the light touch of Justin's fingers when they brushed his shoulder with the duvet and he was glad that the thick duvet hid his hard cock. Justin's touch still had an instant reaction with his cock. He lay quietly listening to the sounds that were coming from the other parts of the house; strangely content knowing Justin was here with him. Something he'd longed for since the day the blonde had walked out of his life. Brian wondered if he'd ever be able to tell Justin how often he'd wanted to go and see him. How he'd followed his career and how he'd helped when he could do so without being discovered. How he'd watched Justin and his daughter at that Seattle art show and actually had become physically ill because he couldn't be with the man he loved. He thought of his injuries and realized that having Justin come to his rescue, having him close to him night after night and having him care for him, made the thoughts of what had happened to his face so much easier to take. In fact he realized that in the grand scheme of things, having Justin by his side was far more important than looking perfect. Brian wondered again if Justin had enough feelings left for him so that maybe he would stay. Maybe he could learn to love him again, maybe Brian could convince Justin that the love he had for the blonde was enough reason to live with him. He fell asleep thinking about these things.