C’est La Vie-4

(c'est la vie = that’s the life. but the context is "that's life"...)
	
author: Elsa Rose
plot bunny: Judy

Justin’s sense of fair play couldn’t allow Brian to get away with not seeing his mother if he was in town. And something told him that the man wasn’t just in Pittsburgh for a short visit. 

“You look lot in thought?” 

Justin turned to where Pip lounged against his truck. “Hey, I didn’t hear you drive up.”

“You were lost in thought. Anything I can do to help?” 

“Actually, yes. I want to know about Brian Kinney.” Justin watched Pip carefully. He wasn’t going to be fobbed off with platitudes. 

“Brian?” Pip asked. “Why?” 

“Curiosity?” Justin asked, eyebrows raised.

“Somehow I doubt that’s the only reason.” Pip looked off into the distance. “Brian and I have been friends for a long time. I’m not sure that I should discuss him.”

“I’m not asking for his innermost secrets. I’m asking because something strange happened last night. He came to the studio to see Gus’ work. I know Gus is his son. When he was there, it was discovered that he’s Peter and John’s uncle, Joan Kinney’s son.” 

“Joan your housekeeper, is Brian’s mother?” Pip was trying to get his head around this information. “Brian hardly ever talked about his family. I know him from University. We roomed together and he worked for my dad in his construction company on weekends and vacations. I worked for him too.”

“You didn’t know he had a family in Pittsburgh?” Justin asked.

“I knew he had connections here. I mean who’d live here if they didn’t? I told you, he didn’t talk about his family. He had a friend whose house he lived at when he was in Pittsburgh and when he finished University, he never looked back. He took his savings and headed for New York. We kept in touch.”

“Interesting, but you didn’t say why he’s here now. Or where he’s living.” 

“You didn’t ask.” Pip walked over to Justin and put his hand on his arm. “Justin, Brian is a very private person. He’s not going to be happy if you confront him about what ever it is that’s got you all riled up.” 

“Joan Kinney is a nice lady, she doesn’t deserve to be treated like a pariah by her son.” 

“You don’t know the whole story.” Pip tried to reason.

“I want to know, so tell me where he is. Actually, you can just confirm that he’s working at the Tremont job.” 

“He <i>is</i> the Tremont job. It’s his building and he’s acting as the General Contractor for the renos.” 

“I’m going to see him. I want to know why he’s being such a fucking drama queen.” Justin was on a rampage.

“Uh, Justin, word to the wise, if you want to get some answers, then do it gently. Brian closes up if there’s any confrontation. I’m serious, Brian’s my friend and so are you. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Justin looked at him curiously. “I just want to ask him some questions.”

“You can’t bull shit a bull shitter, Justin. I see that gleam in your eye when you mention his name. I’ve seen it before. Brian has some kind of charismatic thing going for him that attracts men and women like flies.”

“What a dumb analogy.” Justin shook his head. “I admit he’s good looking. But shit Pip, I don’t jump every good looking man. I do have some scruples.”

“Yeah, well Brian doesn’t always. You’d better be careful, because I have a feeling that one fuck will lead to another and more than one can lead to a broken heart. I don’t want that to happen to either of you.”

“What if we fell deeply, madly and truly in love?” 

Pip burst out laughing.

“It could happen.” Justin snickered. “Well, not likely, but you never know.” 
“Be careful.” Pip patted Justin on the shoulder. “And report back to me, this could be interesting.”

“Ha, like I’m going to tell you if I get any.” Justin laughed and got into his car. “Go pound nails or something.”

Brian had driven for hours after he’d escaped from Justin’s studio. His entire childhood had come to the forefront of his mind when he’d heard his mother’s voice. He felt foolish, but knew he had to leave. Three hours from Pittsburgh, he turned around and headed back. Once he reached the city, he spent half an hour driving up and down the street, trying to decide which house was the one his mother and sister lived in. There was nothing on the outside of the darkened houses to give away their location. Exhausted, Brian went to the loft rather than back to Debbie’s. He didn’t want to talk to anyone and he knew that despite the hour, Vic would no doubt be awake. 

Still exhausted, but unable to calm his mind enough to sleep, Brian paced from one end of the Tremont building to another. He climbed the stairs, walked the empty floors, moved lumber around and generally accomplished nothing until he finally sat down under the front windows in the loft that was to be his. Gradually, as dawn brightened the sky, Brian fell into a troubled sleep.

Justin knew the hour was early, barely seven in the morning. Pip liked to get an early start on the day and so did Justin when he was bothered by something. Stopping by a Starbucks, Justin picked up two lattes, something about Brian’s slim figure told him to get a no fat one for the brunette. 

“Hey, are you awake?”  Justin asked a slumped Brian when he finally tracked him down.

Brian looked up at the blond who was standing hallowed in blinding morning sunlight. “No.” he answered and shut his eyes again. 

Justin nudged him with his foot and this time when Brian opened one eye, he handed him his latte. “Thought you might want some caffeine.” 

Brian took the offered cardboard coffee cup saying nothing, but drinking deeply of the steaming beverage. He shut his eyes again. 

Justin stood for a moment and then sat down beside Brian. “So, what’s up?”  he asked, not really expecting an answer. “By the way, Gus has figured out you’re his dad.”

“Did you tell him?” 

“No, he’s a smart kid.” 

Brian drank more of his coffee. “He takes after his father.” His smile was brief, but Justin saw it.

“Yeah, I think he does.” Justin agreed. “He’s a good kid. His moms have done alright by him.”

Brian turned to Justin, he was going to ask the blond why he cared, when their eyes locked. They stared at each other for a few moments, neither one speaking. Slowly cups were put down near the wall. Later they would argue about who made the first move, but for now there was no arguing. 

Hands cupped heads, pulling them closer to one another until warm coffee flavored breath filled the space between them; lips crushed together in a passion filled kiss that ignited a flame deep inside their bodies.  Clothes disappeared, more torn off than discarded, in a frenzy of needing to have their bodies touch, heated pale skin rubbing against darker hued skin. As Brian pushed Justin down on the floor and lifted his legs to his shoulders, Justin said softly. “It’s been a long time since I bottomed.”

“I’ll be as gentle as I can.” Brian’s voice was rough with passion, though he lowered Justin’s legs. He found the condoms and small container of lube he always kept in the front pocket of his jeans. The moves were somehow familiar between them both as if they’d rehearsed for just such a moment. The dance gained momentum, hard cocks rubbed together before one was encased in latex. Fingers slick with lube that had been warmed by friction, probed and caressed tightness. 

“Are you sure?” Justin asked, his voice a whisper. 

“I’m sure.” Brian said before the pinch and pain of Justin’s cock entering him took his voice away, leaving only primordial grunts and moans that turned into energized huffs of passion, the two voices indistinguishable from one another in their desire for satisfaction. 

It was over far too soon. Brian found himself tucked under the arm of the blond, his head on a pale chest listening to Justin’s heart slowly return to normal. “Did we really just do what I think we did?”  he asked with a chuckle. 

“This hard floor says we did.” Justin’s hand rubbed up and down Brian’s arm before pulling him tight to his body.  “Believe it or not, I didn’t come here to fuck you. I just wanted to talk.”

“That’s what all the pretty boys say.” Brian joked. “Justin, I don’t want to talk about yesterday.”

“I know you don’t, but Brian, you’re going to have to face some realities. Gus is your son and he has questions. Questions I can’t answer but that you can. He desperately wants a dad. John and Peter need a male figure in their lives. Someone who is kind and good, someone they can look up to. They already do have you on a pedestal; your mom is always singing your praises. But if you were actually in the picture, it would be better. And how cool that you’re Gus’ dad and that Gus is Peter’s best friend.” 

“You’ve got things all figured out.” Brian sighed. “Justin, things aren’t always the way you want. Not everything can be tied up in pretty red ribbons.”

“I’m not stupid Brian, I may be blond, but I manage to walk and chew gum at the same time.” Justin leaned down and kissed the top of Brian’s head. “You know, oddly enough, I’m rather enjoying this post coital chat, but your floor isn’t all that comfy.” 

Brian forced himself to sit up. He hated leaving the warmth and security of Justin’s arms. Considering that Justin was so much smaller than he was, Brian was surprised at how protected and comfortable he felt with the blond. “I need a shower.” Brian said needlessly.

Justin stood up and wrapped his arms around Brian, resting his head on Brian’s back. “I love the way you smell.”

“Freak” Brian teased.

Justin sniffed loudly, moving his nose over Brian’s back finally coming up under his arm so that they were now facing one another. “Maybe.” He grinned up at Brian. 

“I don’t have a working shower here yet.” 

“I don’t care. I have one, and I don’t mind sharing.” Justin put his head on Brian’s chest, playfully nipping at one erect nipple, causing ripples of sensual shivers to move through the taller man’s body. “Hey, something’s come up.” He wiggled his hips.

“You’re insatiable.”

“I know, it’s a cross I have to bare.” Justin joked. “I’ve been looking for someone for years who could even come close to keeping up with me sexually.” 

“In your dreams, you’re so full of it.” Brian laughed. “I can’t believe we’re standing here bare assed naked in my construction site.”

“Think of the fantasy life you’ll have from now on.” 

Brian rolled his eyes heavenward. “Get dressed, I’ll buy you breakfast.” 

“We smell like sex.”

“I like sex, they should market the smell.” Brian reached down and handed Justin his jeans. “Have you ever been to the Liberty Avenue diner?” he asked.

“Sure, once or twice, who hasn’t.” Justin put on his pants, looking longingly at Brian’s semi hard cock. 

Catching Justin’s look, Brian laughed. “Later Sunshine.”.

“You know, buying me breakfast isn’t going to make me forget about you getting back together with your family.” 

“I suspected you were the bull dog type.” Brian finished dressing. “I know, but give me some time. I don’t like to rush into things like some blond twinks do.”

“Hardly a twink,” Justin laughed. “But thanks for the compliment old man.”

Brian threw his arm around Justin’s shoulder and began to walk him to the door of the loft. “There seems to be a lot of Justin Taylor the artist in my new home.” He looked at the doors and thought of the various paintings that were going to be housed in the loft when it was finished. 

“I bet you never think of that particular piece of floor the same way.” Justin giggled.

It didn’t take them long to walk to the diner. Everyone’s head turned when Brian walked in holding hands with Justin. Debbie was about to say something when Brian held up his hand for silence. “This is Justin Taylor for those of  you who don’t already know him. Yes we’re holding hands and yes, we’re going to have breakfast. Other than that, any questions about our relationship or friendship is off limits. Talk about the weather, the crops or the latest football scores.”

“Justin, I see you’ve met my boy.” Debbie smiled, giving Justin a quick hug. “His bark is much worse than his bite and if you want to know any secrets, I’ll tell you everything about him later.” 

“Deb.” Brian cautioned, though Justin could only grin. 

“Oh for fuck sake Brian, I was only kidding.” She grabbed him by the chin and kissed him. “I’d never tell anyone that you sleep with a night light on. That’s just private.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “I like to see where I’m going if I get up in the night.”  He explained. 

“Me too.” Justin put his arm around Brian’s waist. “I have these neat lights plugged in everywhere that turn themselves on when it gets dark enough.”

“Hey, Brian, come and join us.” Michael was sitting in the back booth. 

“Mikey, this is Justin.” Brian said introducing the two of them.

“We’ve met.” Michael smiled up at Justin. 

Justin nodded and slid into the seat beside Brian. “I’m starved.” He said. 

“Me too.” Brian agreed. “I’ll have the hungry man’s breakfast Deb, with orange juice and coffee.” Looked at Justin who nodded. “Same for the blond.” 

“Wow, what did you do to Brian?” Michael asked. “He never eats in the morning.”

“We’ve been up for awhile, think of this more as brunch.” Justin explained. 

“I’ll need another workout though.” Brian smirked. 

“Come over to the studio, I might be able to free up some workout time.” 

“Don’t you have to work at the Tremont building?” Michael asked. “I thought you were all gung ho to get it finished.”

“All in good time Mikey.” Brian relaxed into the corner pulling Justin closer. Michael could only stare at the strange sight of Brian cuddling with someone. 

Breakfast proved interesting for everyone. Justin discovered there was more to Brian Kinney than he’d first realized as he watched the interplay between him and his friend Michael and Michael’s mother. He knew that he’d have to talk to both of them later, but wasn’t sure if he should really do a lot of investigation into Brian’s past. Maybe he should let Brian tell him what he needed to know.

Justin and Brian walked back to the Tremont job site, neither of them talking, but both of them enjoying one another’s company. Until finally they arrived. Justin’s car was parked in front of Brian’s. “I should go.” Justin said unnecessarily.

“I heard you might be interested in opening a gallery. I’ve been renovating the main floor with this idea in mind.”

“You just don’t want me to leave.” Justin teased.

“Perhaps.” Brian huffed a laugh. “It won’t take long to look at.”

“I’ll look.” Justin was pleased that Brian held the door for him to enter first. “For a man well known and looked up to in the advertising world, you make a great carpenter.” 

“I had a lot of motivation to be the best in both trades.” Brian looked at Justin and then sighed. He decided to take a chance with the blond. “I grew up in the house you’re living in. My childhood was less than ideal. My mother had no time for her own kids, she was busy looking after the Anderson kids. My father was… well, let’s just say he was an abusive drunk and let it go at that.  I fucking had to wear hand me downs from the Andersons. Do you have any idea how much rage can be generated by a budding queer who has to wear second hand clothing?”

“I can’t imagine.”

“Trust me, I was well fueled to do the best I could and then some, to get the fuck away from my childhood.” 

“But your childhood is over, it’s time to move forward and forgive and forget.”

“I’m Irish, we don’t forgive or forget easily.” Brian tried to joke, but he was deadly serious. 

“Your mother told me that as well.” Justin said, turning to face Brian. “She didn’t have it easy during your childhood. She says she regrets a lot of things that happened, but at the time it seemed the only way to survive.”

“She managed to not fuck up Claire’s life. Claire didn’t have to wear hand me downs.” Brian began trying his damndest not sound like a five year old.

“I imagine that Claire’s clothing could be easily altered and changed. She was a girl after all.” Justin put his hands on Brian’s shoulder. “I’m no expert, but I think it’s time you let go of a few things. Time is too short to be holding on to old heartaches. If you want, I’ll help you. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” 

“Why, why would you do that? You barely know me.” Brian’s voice had wonder in it. “I know we seem to have some kind of connection, but still, you could be letting yourself into quite the can of worms.” 

“Yuck, you do have a way with words.” Justin laughed. “And to think you’ve made a living with them.”

“You know what I mean.” Brian flushed, not used to the gentle teasing or teasing of any kind.

“Hey, I like this space, it’ll make a great gallery.” Justin looked around in an attempt to change the subject.

“It won’t work Sunshine, I know what you’re doing.” Brian walked to the window and looked out. “You’d better go, I have to go home and shower and I imagine you want to do the same.”

“Brian…” Justin began.

“Don’t, not now. I’ll… I’ll call you later. I’m not sure what I’m going to do.”

“As long as you don’t run away again.” Justin cautioned.

“Apparently I didn’t run far enough or know better than to stay once I got there.” Brian’s voice was bitter. 

“WHY DO YOU HATE ME?” 

Both men turned and stared at the indignant young boy who glared at them from the doorway. “Gus.” Justin started toward him.

“No, I need to talk to my son.” Brian put his hand on Justin’s shoulder, stopping him.
“Gus, I don’t hate. I’ve never hated you. I’ve loved you since the day you were born. You looked up at me from that nursery and I just knew you and I would find each other some day. I guess that day has come.”

“Why didn’t you ever come and see me? Why didn’t you ever send me a birthday card or visit at Christmas?” Gus’ eyes were filled with tears and Justin could see that Brian’s eyes mirrored his sons. 

“Gus, I’ve seen you in my dreams, each and every night since the day you were born.” Brian crouched down in front of his son. “I’ve imagined a thousand different ways we could have been together. Each day on your birthday, well let’s just say those days were a certain kind of hell for me because we couldn’t celebrate, just the two of us. When Pip offered me a chance to come to Pittsburgh, I didn’t hesitate, because I was hoping beyond hope that you and I could meet and maybe, maybe if I was lucky, we could become friends. Could we, could we become friends?” he asked. 

Gus’ bottom lip was quivering, Justin’s heart went out to both father and son. Brian held out his arms and Gus rushed into them. He began to sob with abandon. Justin’s eyes were filled with tears at the reunion, especially when he saw the tears silently tracing their way down Brian’s own cheeks.

“Gus, how did you get downtown?” Justin asked. 

Gus pulled away from Brian. “I hid in the back seat of mom’s car, she never noticed. She works on the next block.” 

“Gus, we need to find your mom and tell her where you are and what you did. And then I think we need to talk.” Brian wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“Do we have to?” he whined. “Mom’s going to be mad. You’re my dad, can’t you do something?” 

Justin started to laugh. “Yeah Dad.” He laughed harder when he saw Brian’s glare. “Gus, you’re going to have to take responsibility for what you’ve done and I do believe your father will back me up on that.”

“Justin’s right.” Brian put his hand on Gus’ shoulder. “Let’s find your mother now.” 
Lindsay was surprised to see her son, accompanied by Brian and Justin, walk into the gallery where she worked. “Gus.” 

“Hi mom, see my dad is with me.” He beamed at her.

“I see that.” She looked at the two men, unanswered questions in her eyes.

“Gus decided to pay me a visit this morning.” Brian said, his hand on his son’s shoulder, both of the requiring the touch for strength and grounding. 

“Gus?” Lindsay asked.

“I told you, I wanted to know my dad.” Gus stuck out his chin. 

“And I told you, all in due time.” Lindsay was angry that Gus had taken things into his own hands. She could see his father in the defiance in his eyes. “Gus, your momma isn’t going to be happy about this.”

“It’s my life and my dad. I want to know him. Momma can’t keep me away from him anymore. I’ll just find him.” 

“Gus.” Brian’s hand gently squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Talking this way to your mother isn’t the way to handle things. I promise you that you will be part of my life from now on. No one, not your mother and not Melanie Marcus can change that.” 

“You can’t promise that Brian.” Lindsay began.

“Yes I can.” Brian stared at her and she read the truth in his eyes. He’d never give up his son now. “Gus has always been my son, you know that. The fact that I let my insecurities allow you to keep him from me, was my mistake. A mistake I can fix from this point on. I’m not planning on taking him away from you. I just want to be part of his life, like any father would.”

“But you aren’t any other father.” Lindsay began. 

“I don’t want to interfere, but Lindsay, you should give Brian a chance. The Brian you knew when Gus was conceived, isn’t the same man who is standing here now. Just like you aren’t the same woman.”  Justin smiled at them all. “I’m going to take Gus to school, while you two talk.” He walked over to Brian and Gus and kissed Brian’s cheek. “I’ll be home all day if you want to come over.” He said softly. “If you don’t show up, I know where to find you.”

“I’m sure you’d track me down.” Brian smirked, but he was grateful for the blond’s support. “Gus, Justin will take care of you. I’ll talk to you after school. I know you have a lesson at the studio today. Why don’t I meet you there?” 

“Cool. Is that okay mom?” Gus asked.

“Yes.” She said softly, she couldn’t stop what was unfolding now, even if she tried.

Justin and Gus walked out of the gallery. “Do you think she’ll let me and dad be together?” Gus asked Justin as they headed to his car. 

“Yes I do.”

Two weeks later, Brian was sitting on a high stool in Justin’s studio, watching the blond paint. “It’s been a hell of a couple of weeks.” He said after more than half an hour of silence.

“I’ve rather enjoyed it.” Justin touched the canvas with his brush.

“You enjoy everything. You’re one of those annoying people who just fucking <i>enjoy</i> life. They piss me off.”

“My, aren’t you the grumpy guy.” Justin teased, knowing his words would make Brian cringe. “You know just because you finally grew up, doesn’t mean the world has to come to an end.”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay, but let me finish this painting.” Justin grinned at him.

“Sorry, I have to pick up the kids from school.”  Brian jumped down from the stool, walked over to Justin and kissed him soundly.  “Tonight we’re having pizza night if you recall.”

“I know, Joan has already made the pizza dough.” Justin’s eyes twinkled. “For a work a holic, you sure know how to relax these days. Am I ever going to get rid of you? You hang around here all damn day.” 

“I told you, I’m on vacation.” Brian winked at Justin. “I’m on vacation from my vacation. It’s not like I actually have to work you know.” 

“I know, but it can’t be good for you to just hang around us younger kids.” Justin snickered.

“You aren’t one of the kids.” Brian kissed him again. “I’m making up for lost time.”

“That’s okay, I guess I can put up with you.”

“Boys, it’s time to get the kids.”  They looked at Joan and laughed. 

“I was trying to tell the blond brat that very thing, mom.” Brian broke away from Justin. 

She laughed and shook her head. “I’m sure. Can you pick Claire up as well, she’s getting off early today.”

“No problem.” Brian grinned. He was enjoying being part of a large and busy family more than he ever thought he would. Certainly he’d go back to finishing the Tremont building and he’d look into his company in New York each time he and Justin traveled there for a show. But the most important part of his life was now here in Pittsburgh. He and Justin were moving toward a more permanent relationship. His son was a delight and even his two nephews, as well as his sister and mother, were providing him with hours of enjoyment.

It would take years, no doubt, of this new life before his childhood fears faded away completely. But with the help of a certain blond and the love of his family, Brian knew it was only a matter of time. C’est la vie.

December 9th, 2006