“I’m telling you he was naked on that long chair in the corner with a naked girl sitting on top of him,” Michael said as he looked around the table and notice no one was paying him any attention.
“Michael honey, you’ve told us this fairy tale at least a dozen times. Maybe you shouldn’t have had that extra crantini last night,” Emmett replied patting Michael’s hand.
“The chances that Brian was having an orgy in his loft with two women are damn slim Michael,” Ted added. “I admit he’s done some kinky things in his day, but he’s drawn the line at women.”
“He took my key and gave it to one of them. Did I tell you they were twins?” Michael continued, his hands gesturing in true Italian fashion.
“Michael, Brian has only been with one woman and that was in college,” Lindsay said, her eyes cast down. “It would never happen again.”
“Maybe you weren’t his type. These women look like fashion models and did I mention they’re black?”
“Black?” Lindsay and Melanie asked at the same time.
“Well, kind of coffee with cream colored, but you know what I mean.”
“They must have been transsexuals,” Melanie offered.
“Well if they were they were definitely post op,” Michael declared. “Because believe me I saw more woman than I ever want to see.”
“Oh, baby, you do know some big words,” Emmett cooed.
“There was a special on television about it the other night.” Michael turned to Emmett, “they explained everything.”
“Ahhhh[…] sort of a horror show.” Emmett shuddered dramatically, his hands covering his dick.”
“Is he still going on about Brian fucking two girls?” Debbie said as she arrived with their dinner orders. “Because I thought he was going to have a stroke when he came in tonight. I mean if Brian wants to walk on the wild side, who the fuck cares.”
“Brian would never do it with a woman,” Lindsay began again.
“Well maybe he’s off blondes,” Melanie chuckled, rather enjoying the conversation.
“I’m going over there. I want to find out what in heck the true story is,” Lindsay said and stood up.
“We need to get Gus home; he’s been out long enough.” Melanie stood up glaring at Lindsay. “Now look what you’ve done, Michael.”
“What have I done?” he whined his head moving back and forth as he tried to figure out what was happening.
“Michael, stop worrying the girls,” Debbie punctuated her request with a slap upside his head. “Ladies, I’m sure Brian won’t appreciate you interrupting him whatever he’s doing. You know how he is about his privacy.”
“Well, he’s the one who wants to share custody of Gus. We have to know what kind of environment our son will be in.”
“Brian would never do anything to hurt Gus,” Debbie said, glaring at the girls. It was one thing to for her to say something about Brian, he was like a son to her, but quite another for someone else to do it.
Lindsay flushed, not saying a thing. She knew Brian would never harm his son, but she wanted to see what was going on. “We’ll see you for dinner,” was all she said as the three of them left.
“Linds, what in hell are you doing?” Melanie hissed when they were outside. “Let’s just go home. We don’t need to visit Kinney to know that he’s fucking around. It’s what he does.”
“But girls… Brian doesn’t do girls,” Lindsay said and not for the first time.
“He did you,” Melanie spat out.
“That was a long time ago,” Lindsay said, but she continued to push Gus’ stroller in the direction of Brian’s loft.
Brian really wasn’t surprised when his buzzer went off and Lindsay’s voice was heard requesting entrance. He figured Michael must have run all the way to the diner to spread the news about his guests. Lindsay was going to be in for a disappointment. The girls were at their hotel and only Justin and LV were here.
“Justin, Lindsay and Mel are on their way up.”
“Don’t worry Brian, I’ll stay in the bedroom. They’ll never know I’m here,” he grinned at his lover, kissed him quickly and moved to the bedroom making sure the windows were all closed and the lights off so that he could stay there unnoticed.
“Lindsay is your son’s mother?” LV asked. He was in the kitchen preparing something that Brian was sure was full of carbs.
“Yes, she and her partner Melanie, no doubt, heard about the 2R’s and their performance earlier,” he snickered “I’m surprised it took them this long to get here.” Pounding at his door announced their arrival. “Can you get the door, I’ll stay here and look pathetic.”
“Ha, as if you can,” LV laughed as he went to unlock the door. “Hey, I’m LV, you two must be Lindsay and Melanie and this has to be Gus.” He reached over and before Lindsay knew what was happening LV had Gus in his arms and was walking over to Brian with him. “Hey, he does look like you in a kind of innocent versus jaded way.” He handed the child to Brian who grinned up at him, but said nothing.
“Brian, I don’t appreciate your tricks handling my son,” Melanie blustered. She looked away when LV stared hard at her. His size alone was intimidating.
“Ma’am I don’t appreciate your rudeness. I can only assume it’s because you’ve been subjected to verbal abuse due to your size, religion or your sexual orientation. I would suggest you curb your tendency to throw verbal arrows at my friend here when his son is present. It makes you look foolish and it will hurt your son, perhaps even doing irreparable harm to his psyche. Neither I, nor Brian, can allow this to continue.”
Melanie flushed with either embarrassment or anger and started to open her mouth to say something, but Lindsay’s hand on her shoulder stopped her. “Brian, we were just at the diner, Michael said that you had some visitors.”
“Yes, you’ve met Lavaughn, he’s taken on the job of feeding me this week. I broke my ankle.”
“Oh my gawd Brian, I’m sorry. I didn’t notice.” Lindsay stared at the offending cast. “How did it happen?”
“You might say I fell into something,” Brian grinned at LV. “I made quite the impression. Luckily, LV was there, he managed to carry the load as it were.”
“Oh.” Lindsay looked at LV who was stirring something in a pot and then back to Brian. “Michael said something about girls.”
“Michael has a vivid imagination,” Brian drawled. “Unless there are girls hiding in the bedroom under the bed, or maybe in the closet over there, I’d say he was hallucinating. LV did you let any girls in?”
“Not today,” LV turned and smiled, “ only the ones standing here now. Do you ladies want a cinnamon bun? I just took them out of the oven.”
“Who is he?” Lindsay mouthed at Brian before turning to LV. “That would be lovely.”
“None for me thank you,” Melanie replied and sat down on the sofa to watch Brian as he held Gus. “How are you going to drive us to Debbie’s with a broken ankle?” she asked in that demanding manner she had.
“We’ll get there, never fear,” Brian said as he stroked the top of Gus head with the palm of his hand and played with his fingers, studying the tiny perfection that lay on his chest.
“Brian[…] you don’t have to,” Lindsay began.
“I said we’d be going together and we will.” Brian looked at the girls, “I’m not missing Gus’ first Thanksgiving at Deb’s.
“Brian, make sure you take pictures,” LV reminded as he handed around plates with cinnamon buns covered in cream cheese frosting. “I put a pot of coffee on and it should be ready soon.”
On the plate near where Brian sat, the cinnamon bun was tiny, but perfectly shaped. Brian looked at it and grinned at LV. “I see you remembered my no carbs.”
“A few carbs won’t hurt. This way you won’t sneak any in the middle of the night.” LV wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ve heard the fridge open and the glass of milk being poured, you can’t fool me.”
“That’s…” Brian was about to say Justin, instead he said, “That’s my guilty secret.”
Lindsay and Melanie had been following Brian’s easy banter with the tall and imposing black man who seemed to have free reign of the loft. They couldn’t understand just what was happening between the men.
“I’ll let you have some privacy Brian.” LV walked over and kissed Brian’s forehead before turning at looking at the girls. “Don’t tire him out, he has plans for later,” he grinned and wiggled suggestively, “big, black plans.” His laugh was hardy as he turned and headed for the bedroom, carefully closing the seldom-used door.
Justin was rolling on the bed silently laughing. He’d been watching through a crack near the window opening and had almost lost it when he’d seen LV kiss Brian. Only Brian pretending to clear his throat had managed to cover Justin’s unexpected snicker.
LV flopped on the bed and muttered, “Cunts.” He lay back shoving Justin almost to the floor, his large black hand covering Justin’s mouth until the boy quieted.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“I’m going to miss you,” Justin whispered to Brian as they lay entwined in one another on the bed. “It seems like it was only yesterday we arrived.” In fact, he’d been there for almost four days, tomorrow it was time to go back to L.A.
“If you didn’t leave, I’d be as fat as Ted,” Brian laughed. “How do you stand it having LV cooking every minute of the day?”
“It isn’t every minute,” Justin giggled. “But he does cook a lot. He gives it away mostly to the kids in the neighborhood and some of the old people in the building. He likes to try out new recipes. Some of them are kind of weird.”
“I noticed the weird part. He’ll have quite the restaurant some day.”
“We’re going to do it together,” Justin smiled. “I know you think partnerships don’t work, but sometimes they do work. It depends on the people.” He leaned on one elbow so that he could look into Brian’s eyes. “Take the two of us for instance. We make the perfect partnership. We’re opposites in a lot of ways, but in some ways we’re equal. Intellectually and sexually we’re both equal and that is important. I mean it would drive both of us crazy living with someone we couldn’t talk to without explaining every second word.”
“You’re messy.”
“You’re OCD about perfection.”
“You keep secrets.”
“You do to.”
“I do not.”
“Oh, that’s right, your life is an open book. How silly of me to have forgotten that, Mr. Kinney,” Justin sighed. “The thing is, we’re opposite in things that don’t really matter. It’s what makes us unique and if the truth were known, neither one of us could actually not tell the other person if there was a problem.”
“That’s why you hide the fact that your right hand shakes,” Brian grasped the offending hand to hold it still.”
“I’m not actually hiding it,” Justin mumbled even though he knew he wasn’t being completely honest. “It’s just a bit of nerve damage from the head thing. It’s not that important. I mean heck it doesn’t stop me from doing anything I want to do.”
“If it wasn’t important, why did you hide it?”
“I don’t know. I guess because I want to be the kind of guy that’s perfect for you. I know how much you like things to be flawless. I didn’t want to disappoint.”
“Justin, you could never disappoint me, except if you tried things from me. I need to know what’s happening in your life. Maybe I can help, or maybe I can’t, but I can be there to listen to you, just like you listen to me when I have problems. I think I would have gone crazy a few times over the last couple of months if I hadn’t had you to talk to. You’re really the only person I trust. Was I wrong?” he took Justin’s right hand and kissed each finger. “Was I wrong to put my trust in you?”
“No, I’d never do anything to hurt you Brian,” Justin’s said his eyes filling with tears. “I love you. I know you think love is for lesbians, but that’s how I feel.”
“Then promise me this. Don’t keep things from me. It hurts when I find out and I always do.”
“Can’t I keep anything I do for you a secret?”
“Uh, Justin, what have you done?”
“Not much really,” Justin shrugged. “I’ll tell you what. From now on, I won’t keep secrets if I can possibly help it.”
“Secrets are lies of omission,” Brian sighed. “I’m sorry, but I have a problem with lies.”
“I know.” Justin looked gloomy, he kept thinking about Kip Thomas and what he did to help orchestrate getting him away from Brian. “It’s just that sometimes, if you know something it’s not a good thing. So if you don’t mind, let me keep some of the dumber things I’ve done to myself. I’ll promise you this. When enough time passes to make them less hurtful, I will tell you everything.”
“I’ll make you that same promise,” Brian smiled, because he’d also done some foolish things in his past that he didn’t really want to explain or tell right now. Maybe a few secrets weren’t that bad. “Enough gloomy talk. We need to stay positive. You and the kids are heading back and I’m going to be under attack by Mikey and the gang.”
“You get to have a turkey dinner. We won’t have one until tomorrow.”
“You’re going to have turkey tomorrow?” Brian laughed. “I bet LV has something to do with that. He probably has a menu planned that would rival Deb’s.”
“Actually he was going to cook something, but the girls’ parents have decided we’re all going out to their house. They have their cook making a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. They aren’t even inviting their closest five hundred friends,” he grinned. “It’s like that in L.A. It’s just going to be us tomorrow.”
“Sounds like the four of you’ll have fun.” Brian was envious of the easy camaraderie the four friends had. He and the gang were all friends, but he always felt that there was some kind of underlying agenda with each and every one of them. Justin, LV and girls were friends with no strings attached. It must be nice, he thought.
“It would be more fun if you were there,” Justin said in a soft voice. One hand rubbed his ass. “Of course I’ll still feel you,” he chuckled. “For an old guy you have lots of stamina. Are you sure you didn’t take Viagra?”
“I don’t fucking need the little blue pill.” Brian swatted the ass in question playfully. “I’ve always wondered though what it would be like.”
“Me too. Can you just imagine how much fun we’d have?” It never occurred to Justin that Brian would have a Viagra experience with anyone else.
“More fun than last night?” Brian asked pretending to sulk.
“Maybe, if you didn’t have any part of you broken. That cast hurts when you bang it on my shoulders.” Implying that he was topping Brian.
“In your dreams, Sunshine,” Brian laughed. His fantasy of having an uncomplicated friendship based on mutual liking had been fulfilled when Justin had come into his life. “I want you to call me when you get back to L.A.”
“I’ll call.” Justin reluctantly got out of bed shivering at the cold that was really only the absence of Brian’s warm arms. “Christmas is coming. It’s going to be exciting because it’ll be Gus’ first.”
“He won’t even know it,” Brian snorted. “He’s too young.”
“But you aren’t. You’ll never get another first Christmas with your son. Make sure you take pictures. And Brian, it wouldn’t hurt if you took him someplace to see Santa.”
“Santa?” Brian looked confused.
“Yes! Fat guy, red suit, white beard, brings toys,” Justin said sarcastically while pulling on his clothes. “Hey can I take this?” he held up the sweatshirt Brian had worn most of yesterday.
“I suppose, although I don’t know why. Don’t you have one of your own?”
“Not one that smells like you,” Justin grinned. “Think of the possibilities.”
“No jerking off into the shirt, that stuff stains.”
“Gross, Brian,” Justin remarked as he shook his head. “I’m going to sleep with it. That way I’ll be sure to dream about you.”
“You’re such a girl,” Brian laughed, but wished he’d thought of something similar for himself. It was too late, Justin’s bag was packed.
“But I’m your girl,” Justin replied as he swished back to the bed. “LV will be here any minute. He’s never late. I’m going to wait downstairs. Don’t get out of bed, let me remember you all warm and sweaty and smelling of sex. You don’t have to get ready for at least an hour.”
“Are you sure?” Brian hated to let Justin leave, let alone leave without him watching.
“I’m sure.” Justin leaned down for one more kiss filled with longing. “I don’t know when we’ll see each other again, but I’ll call you when I get home.” He looked shy for a moment. “I’m going to send a Christmas present for Gus. You can keep it at the loft for when he visits.”
“Okay.” Brian’s voice was husky with emotion although he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t as if he’d never see the blond again. It wasn’t goodbye, it was just… later .
Without another word, Justin shouldered his backpack and left. He carefully locked the door behind him only to face the elevator with an empty heart. He missed Brian already, and he hated that his eyes were filled with tears, but he refused to let them fall. It wasn’t goodbye. It couldn’t be goodbye.
That afternoon, as Brian sat in Deb’s rocking chair in the living room holding Gus, his phone vibrated. He reached for it and pulled it out knowing it had to be Justin. “Hey,” he whispered not wanting to wake up his son.
“Hey yourself. I got here,” Justin sighed. “Are you holding Gus?”
“How did you know?”
“You are using your Gus voice,” Justin said with a laugh. “You have different voice levels for everyone you deal with. I kind of like the Justin voice and man the I’m cuming voice is amazing.”
“You little brat, you’re making me hard and I’m holding Gus,” Brian laughed as he shifted uncomfortably.
His finger hit the speaker-phone button just as, “Brisie, we miss you handsome. This last week was amazing. For a gay guy you have moves like we never knew existed.” It was Ruby. “LV says hi and he can’t wait to try out something new you demonstrated. I hope it’s good because you know LV, he has to do it over and over until he gets it right.” She made a loud kissing noise into the phone followed by Reggie, then LV and finally Justin. Brian was surprised that he could tell who was who just by how they breathed and kissed the air. He hoped that LV got the recipe for Irish stew right the first time or they’d be gaining weight, all of them. He listened as the phone disconnected and then put it back in his pocket only to look up and realize the room was silent. Each and everyone had heard Ruby and the rest of them.
“Brian…” Lindsay began
“Don’t bother Linds. I don’t ask you about your friends, so you can grant me the same courtesy.” Brian shut his eyes and continued to rock, his hand rubbing small circles on Gus’ back as he relived a few of the memories of the past few days, shutting out the indignant gasps from around the room. He had to admit that the sense of humor LV and the girls had rivaled his own. He knew they were playing with his friends and to be honest he rather enjoyed it.
In L.A. Justin wasted no time checking up on all the websites he monitored. He’d completed a number of updates for his various clients and had Daphne do some others, but a cryptic email from his friend to look at Ted Schmidt’s new site he’d developed, had him curious. He pulled up the site and was surprised to see Emmett’s face staring back at him, and much more of Emmett than he had ever wanted to see. “Geeze.” Justin scrolled through to check the times Emmett was scheduled. “Note to self, stay away from this damn place when Emmett’s on,” he mumbled.
“You talking to yourself again Jus?” LV asked as he wandered in.
“Daphne told me to check this out. I can’t believe Emmett is actually doing this and on the web where anyone can see him.”
“Not unless they have a membership.” LV stood behind Justin and watched. “For a white boy he isn’t bad. Daphne and I watched him a couple of times.”
“You have a membership?” Justin looked at LV in surprise.
“No idiot, we used yours,” LV huffed. “In case you didn’t notice, that’s gay porn. Women are into it, but fuck, I kind of like my porn to include more pussy; much, much more pussy.” He was holding a cake battered wooden spoon. Justin winced when his friend waved it in emphasis and sprayed batter on his desk. “I have no fucking idea why Daphne likes to watch two guys fuck, or in this case Emmett jerk off.”
“Me either.” Justin blushed. “I’m going to have to talk to her.”
“Won’t do any good. She has a collection of gay porn that would rival Brian’s. In fact, I think the two of them trade movies.” LV shook his head and the spoon as he left Justin’s room.
Justin had to grin at LV’s comment. He would never understand women, but they did seem to have an appreciation for gay sex. Maybe they were just envious at the ease in which gays could have sex without complications. What they needed to understand was that sex was usually done without complications; it was when two guys made love that complications arose.
Christmas was fast approaching, but the four didn’t pay a lot of attention to it at first. Despite the appearance of over dressed Santa’s and festive decorations, they were just too busy with their lives.
“R-1 I said no.” Justin glared at his friend from his slumped position at his desk. “I don’t have either the time or the inclination.”
“Tough shit, white boy. You are coming to the exercise room with Reggie and me.”
“Make LV go down and protect you from the wolves,” Justin whined.
“He’s busy and besides he does go down there and you know it. It’s you who’s the wuss here.” She pulled on his arm making him reluctantly stand up. “Come on. Please, please,” she whined.
“Will you stop whining if I do?” he asked.
“If you promise,” she grinned. “Besides, think of how handsome you’ll be; all muscley and buff.”
“Nobody’s complained so far,” Justin griped as he followed his friend.
It was the beginning of a daily regime. It wasn’t long before Justin actually looked forward to the time he spent in the gym. He occasionally went down before bed to do laps. He found the water calmed him enough to sleep on days he’d been especially involved with the web sites and school.
“Hey Sunshine,” Brian smiled as he said his usual greeting. “I heard that LV and Daphne are getting together for Christmas.”
“Yeah, kind of weird,” Justin laughed. “I can’t wait to see the pictures that the Chalmers take. They must think they’ve died and gone to heaven having Daphne dating a black boy and one that comes from a well off family to boot.”
Brian had to laugh out loud at that one. He could understand, because that’s what his mother and father had always wanted for him. An Irish Catholic, virgin of the female variety. “I told him he could stay here.”
“You don’t have any room. He won’t sleep with you, you know.”
“Geeze give me a break, I don’t have to fuck every guy I meet. Besides, Daphne would kill both of us,” Brian sighed. “I don’t know; I just think I’m feeling my years. I just figured it would be nice to have someone around messing up the loft. He can have the sofa. He’ll probably be at Daphne’s most of the time anyway.”
“I understand.” And Justin did understand. Brian was growing up. He was finding out that there was more to life than being alone.
Christmas had always been Justin’s favorite time of year, but this year it was going to be miserable as far as he was concerned. His parents had made it clear that he wasn’t included in their family celebrations so he didn’t even try to get a plane ticket back east. Kelly had invited him to spend the time with her, using his old room, but he’d begged off telling her that he was too busy with school projects.
“I wish we could be together. Hey did you get the gift for Gus?”
“It came yesterday. What in hell could be in such a huge crate? The thing weighs a ton”
“Hardly that. It’s something I saw in a shop here. I had one made for Gus, after all, it’s his first Christmas. I thought maybe you could keep it at the loft. Take it out of the crate and you’ll understand. When he’s older, he’ll appreciate it more, but for now it’ll do for other things.”
“Now I’m intrigued,” Brian laughed his curiosity aroused. “I’ll uncrate it when I hang up.”
“Your present is in there too, but don’t open it, it’s wrapped. You have to wait until Christmas morning.”
“Justin, I’m not five.”
“Yes you are, but you’re tall for your age,” he giggled. “Besides, it would spoil your Christmas morning if you open it now.”
“You’re a brat,” Brian’s voice was soft, the words more a caress than a rebuke. “Why don’t you come here for Christmas? I can send you a ticket.”
“I can buy my own,” Justin said with a smile. Brian had asked him more than once to come to him during the holidays. “I just don’t think it would be a good thing. You know how much Deb and the gang love the season. I wouldn’t be comfortable there, and my parents, well you know about them. No, I think I’ll stay in L.A.; hang out at the beach and the gym, and basically relax.”
“You could have gone with the girls to Mexico.”
“I still can. I just don’t want to. Brian, don’t worry about me. I’m a big boy; eighteen is old enough to join the army or get married. I’m not going to curl up and die because I’m spending Christmas on my own. It’s just another day on the calendar.”
“I won’t argue that point,” Brian said. The two of them continued to talk for almost an hour before he disconnected leaving both of them wanting more than just words.
Gus’ crated Christmas gift sat by the window until Christmas morning. Brian figured that since his son actually had no idea about the date or the meaning of it, he might as well keep the secret. In a way that gave Brian two gifts to open since he knew that Justin had placed a gift for him in with Gus’. He hadn’t looked forward to Christmas morning since forever. The morning in question dawned and he lay in bed enjoying the warmth of the loft. He wanted to call Justin, but with the three-hour time difference he didn’t dare. They’d talked the night before until well into the wee hours of the morning.
His anxiousness built until he couldn’t stand it any longer, so he slipped out of his warm bed and headed for the living room. As his foot hit the first step, his living room lit up in a wonder of twinkling lights. Justin, a Santa hat on and nothing else, stood grinning mischievously. LV, who had been there the night before was nowhere to be seen. Brian had heard movement and rustling, over the sound of the television, but with LV staying with him, he hadn’t thought to check on what was happening. Apparently Justin had kept him talking and in bed while LV had done the blond’s bidding.
Brian couldn’t help but notice that Justin’s body was no longer that of a young teen. Instead, the physique of an adult was beginning to appear. As he approached his very own version of Santa, Brian saw Justin’s golden skin and his almost white hair. The California sun had been busy changing the look of the young man who stood in his living room. “You’re here,” was all he managed to get out of his throat; his voice, thick with emotion refused to work anymore. All he could do was hold out his arms.
“I wanted to surprise you,” Justin said, his body wrapped in Brian’s arms absorbing the other man’s sleepy warmth.
“You did,” Brian said as he picked him up, and “I’m claiming my gift.” He turned, Justin in his arms and headed back to the bed. “Sex with you is the best present I’ve ever received.”
“Your cast is off.”
“You noticed,” Brian replied as he laid him on the bed. “Yesterday… it came off yesterday.” He sat back on his knees to look at Justin. “Let me get my camera. I want to have this moment recorded.”
“Christmas morning?” Justin smiled, almost shyly for a change.
“No, you glowing with a radiance I’ve never seen before. You look amazing,” Brian shook himself with drama. “Fuck, I’m a lesbian.”
“Not with that boner you aren’t,” Justin wiggled. He smiled up at the camera. “Can you hurry, Christmas is fading fast. It’ll be Boxing day before you get in here.”
“Patience is a virtue you don’t have.” Brian snapped another couple of pictures before getting into bed. “Come here, leave the hat on. I’ll take one of the both of us.” Justin wiggled over and Brian held out his long arm. The picture that was taken would be one of Justin’s favorites and something he’d treasure for as long as he lived.
For now, the two men were only interested in one thing, the claiming of their presents to one another. “Brian,” Justin breathed as his lover’s warm lips and soft wet tongue began to kiss and taste along his jaw and down his neck. “Brian.” The name a prayer whispered on the air that moved as the man continued his worship of the lithe golden body.
Twice they came together before finally laying back, temporarily sated. “I was surprised to see you,” Brian said as he nuzzled the top of Justin’s head, burying his nose in blond silk.
“That’s why it’s called a surprise,” Justin replied melting with pleasure as Brian continued to touch his body in soft and tender caresses. “LV was in on it too. Of course it would have been more of a surprise had you opened Gus’ gift. I knew you’d leave yours in it until this morning, but I would have been holding it.”
“I would have had a heart attack,” Brian laughed out loud. “If I’d opened up whatever is in the crate only to find you there.”
“Well it seemed like a good idea at the time,” Justin almost purred. “Aren’t you even curious about what’s inside the crate.”
“Of course I am. I was saving it until this morning. That way I’d have two things to open,” Brian sighed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve looked forward to Christmas morning. I’m sure I must have as a young child, but I can’t really remember any pleasant Christmases. For me it was a time of painful silences, loud shouting, things breaking in the night and the never-ending smell of cheap wine. Something that was always in abundance at that time of year.”
“Did you have a tree?”
“Once in a while,” Brian paused. “If there was a tree it never lasted long. One year my father threw it through the front window during a snow storm. It was fucking cold that year with a big piece of cardboard taped over the window until spring. Cold and dark in the room where my father sat on his chair like it was some kind of throne. He’d order me to get him a beer; something I hated because it meant I had to come close to him. It wasn’t always pleasant, but enough of that crap. My life is now; you’re now. Your goodness and willingness to see me as I am, not how I’m perceived is something that has always endeared you to me,” he shrugged. “There I go again, back being overly sentimental. It must be the season.”
Justin sighed, it wasn’t often Brian shared anything about his childhood. “We’ve started making our own Christmas memories.” He wiggled out of Brian’s arms. “Come on, open up your other presents.”
Brian looked dejected for a moment. “I don’t have anything for you to open.”
“Hmmm, there’s always your…” Justin nodded at Brian’s ass and wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “You could put a bow on it.”
“Maybe next year,” Brian laughed as he hopped out of bed. “Here put this on, you’ll catch cold.” He threw a thick fleece robe at the blond who burrowed into it gratefully.
“This is awesome; it even fits.”
“It’s yours; I have one that matches. I figured that you’d be stopping by once or twice over the next four years, and you never pack anything like a robe.” Brian slipped on his own version of the robe, both of them black as midnight.
Justin sat on the sofa. A miniature tree was on the crate that held Gus and Brian’s gift. “See you have a tree.”
“Not much of one.”
“Next year’s will be bigger.”
“Promise?” Brian laughed. “I’ll be waiting to see how you get one in here larger than this one.” He walked over to the crate and picked up the small tree. It was perfectly formed and very definitely real. “I can plant this.” He held it up looking at it. “How did you find lights this tiny?”
“I have my ways.” Justin took the tree and placed it on the coffee table. “You can plant it in Gus’ yard in the spring.”
Brian was on his knees in front of the crate. He’d had a screwdriver ready to take it apart. “It isn’t going to explode or anything?” he asked Justin with a grin as one by one the screws were removed.
“Maybe,” Justin smiled back, he was anxious to see what Brian thought. As the sides of the crate came down it revealed a wooden box about three feet by two feet by eighteen inches. On the top were some words written in Gaelic. “They mean memories,” Justin said. “I thought since Gus spends time here, he should have a trunk with favorite memories inside. You could keep it for him. When he’s old enough you can take the stuff out and tell him about it. You know like the picture of when he was born. Tell him about that night.”
“That I fucked you?”
“If you want to, but I’d wait until he understood the fucking part.” Justin watched as Brian carefully opened the lid. Inside the box was a copy of the picture Justin was talking about and another smaller box, but similar. “That one is for you and your memories. For us really.”
Brian opened it and was surprised to see that the lid lifted out and had plastic photo sleeves attached to it like an upside down book. He looked at the photos that were included and smiled as the memories of his times with Justin appeared. He laughed out loud at the one with Ruby dressed in his Armani shirt and nothing else. “This is fucking amazing.” Backing up while still looking at the album that was a box, Brian sat down on the sofa next to Justin. “I don’t even remember some of these pictures being taken.”
“It’s a box filled with memories.” Justin leaned his head on Brian’s shoulder. “You can keep adding to it so that when you need a boost or just something to smile about. You can open the box and relive some cool times.”
“Thank you.” Two words said simply, yet with such feeling and meaning that Justin would treasure them forever.
“I’m going to make sure that Gus’ childhood is filled with happy memories.”
“I know you are,” Justin said rubbing his lover’s back. “He’ll have the best father ever; one who loves him unconditionally.”
“Justin, I’m sorry, but I promised I’d be at the munchers to watch Gus open his gifts. It’s almost time.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” Justin sighed. “I’ll be here when you get back from Deb’s dinner. I’m going with LV to Daphne’s parents. We’ll celebrate Kwanza and Christmas and any other damn holiday they can think of, eat too much, drink too much and laugh too much. The usual when I’m with Daphne and LV.”
“You have some good friends.”
“You do to Brian. You just need to let them get to know the real Brian Kinney. Don’t hide him away.”
“You never had a problem finding the real me.” Brian leaned his forehead against Justin’s, his hand cupping the back of the blond’s head.
“That’s because it was the only Brian Kinney I’ve ever known.” Justin let his lips find Brian’s and they kissed a bittersweet kiss.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you.”
An hour later, Brian was on his way to see Gus armed with his camera. He was determined to buy a camera phone first thing after the holidays. He wasn’t going to take a chance on missing any of Gus’ accomplishments. After all, he had two memory boxes to fill. As he drove on the snow covered streets past happily decorated homes, Brian wondered if perhaps he should buy a home for himself. It would be a place of his own, one he could someday share. And it would be a place to plant his first Christmas tree. It was something to think about in the New Year to come.
“You brought your camera?” were the first words out of Melanie’s mouth. She was doing her best to be pleasant, but the whole Christmas thing annoyed the hell out of her. She should have realized that falling in love with a shiska would mean Christmas and Easter, but each year it came as an unpleasant surprise. Now that they had Gus, it wasn’t ever going to get better.
“I thought maybe a picture or two of the happy little family on Gus’ first Christmas wouldn’t be a bad idea.” Brian took off his jacket and walked into the room. “Where’s Gus?”
“Sleeping,” Melanie said. “He has no idea that he’s supposed to get up to see what the mythical Santa Claus has brought him.”
“Santa is alive and well Mel and don’t you forget it.” Brian turned and began to head up the stairs. “I’ll get him.”
“You’ll wake him up.”
“Of course I will; it’s Christmas morning. He needs to get into the program here,” Brian turned and grinned. “He needs to learn some Christmas magic, and what better time to begin his lessons.”
“Are you alright?” Mel asked confused. “I mean you haven’t been drinking have you. You seem far too chipper first thing in the morning. And from what I recall of the last few Christmases, Deb has barely been able to get you to come to dinner, which you drank. I was actually beginning to believe in the Grinch. I figured he’d been patterned after you.”
“Last year I didn’t have a son. This year I do.” Brian took the stairs two at a time. He walked into Gus’ room to be greeted by two green eyes looking at him. As soon as the baby recognized his dad he grinned a toothless grin, his eyes lighting up.
“So Sonny Boy you like to contemplate the morning before you demand attention.” Brian snapped a picture making Gus’ eyes squint shut against the flash.
“Don’t worry, the stars will go away.” Brian lifted him up. “Wow, you’re soaked. I think a quick bath and something nice and clean before you see what Santa has brought for you.”
Brian quickly bathed and cleaned up his son, expertly diapering him and dressing him in a red and white romper made from something warm and fuzzy. “Presentation is everything little man. Next year we’ll have something a little more formal to wear to the great reveal.”
“My goodness Brian, you do that like you’ve been doing it forever.” Lindsay had been watching from the door. “I didn’t know you were such an expert.”
“It isn’t rocket science, Linds. I’ve been undressing and dressing men for a long time. Gus is just a bit smaller than my usual,” he grinned thinking of Justin.
“I’m not even going to go there.” Lindsay laughed, but her laugh was sad because when she looked at Brian holding his son, she couldn’t help, but wonder what it would have been like if they were a real family.
Brian carried Gus down the stairs and, one by one, helped him open his gifts. He had Lindsay take a few pictures for both his and Gus’ memory boxes. “I think Gus could use a nap,” Brian whispered, as his sleepy son snuggled into his father’s neck. “Deb wants us there in an hour, maybe we should go now and put him down at her place.”
“Brian Kinney is volunteering to go to Deb’s early?” Mel snorted.
“It won’t hurt. You girls can help her with the dinner,” Brian grinned at them both. “I’ll do the manly job of napping with Gus. After all someone has to keep him on the bed.”
Debbie was surprised when Brian and the girls came an hour early. “My God, I must have died and gone to Heaven. Brian Kinney is here and early.” She hugged him tightly kissing his cheek. “And my favorite little guy.” She took Gus from Brian while he hung up his coat as well as Lindsay and Melanie’s.
“Gus and I are going to have a nap on Mikey’s old bed. Wake us up when dinner is ready.” Brian headed up the stairs, both Gus and his diaper bag in his arms while Deb, Lindsay and Melanie watched open mouthed.
“Can you believe it?” Melanie asked.
“No! It seems surreal somehow ,” Lindsay answered shaking her head.
Upstairs, Brian arranged Michael’s bed so that it was against the wall, then he padded the edge with a rolled up blanket. Gus had fallen asleep watching his father. Brian lay down on his side facing his son making sure Gus was warm and comfortable before flipping open his phone and calling a familiar speed dial number. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself. Was Gus happy with his gifts?”
“He likes the paper and boxes the best,” Brian whispered. “I’m at Deb’s and Gus and I are napping.”
“Really?” Justin laughed. “You are such a softy.”
“Yeah, I guess I am. Hey, keep that quiet will you?”
“Never, I’m going to shout it to the rooftops.” Justin loved to tease Brian.
“I guess you’ll be sleeping on the sofa tonight with LV.”
“Okay, I’ll keep the secret. Have fun and eat lots and lots of turkey. I’ll see you tonight, and LV and Daphne have a hotel room for tonight.”
“No kidding… what a great Christmas present. I’ll have to thank LV.”
“I already did.” Justin blew a kiss. “That was a kiss for Gus, make sure he gets it.”
“Later Sunshine,” Brian whispered, his own eyes becoming heavy. He disconnected before joining his son in slumber.