Beginings 

The vehicles came to a halt in a cloud of dust. The first Jeep stopped a few feet from Brian and the others. Justin, sitting in the back of the Jeep, stood up, calmly looked at Brian. "Yes" he said matter of fact. 


With raised eyebrows and a twinkle in his eyes, Brian replied, "You won't regret it." 


His trademark smile in place, Justin answered, "Oh, I expect I will occasionally." as he jumped down from the Jeep into Brian's arms. 


The other men with Brian as well as the Canadian Peacekeepers traveling with Justin were speechless. After both groups had listened to endless tales of either Brian or Justin, they couldn't believe their eyes and ears. 


But Brian and Justin knew. The last email that Brian had sent to Justin, just before being hit with the rifle, had said. 


"Sunshine - I'm half a world away from you, yet when I shut my eyes I can feel you beside me, I feel your hand in mine, I feel your lips on mine. Sitting on this plane I realized that I have been a product of my own hype. I believed my own advertising. You are the only person in my life who saw through all the Kinney shit and shingle. 


Justin Taylor, will you be my official "Life Partner?" 


The email ended there and then a few lines down, Brian's short description of the hijacking. This description was all that Justin had shown the FBI. Brian's message had been far too precious to share. It had sustained Justin for these many weeks. 


"Mister, why are you huggin Poppa Bri?" 


While Justin had focused on his beloved Brian, the artist in him had of course taken in the two children. He didn't want to let go of Brian, but he would never hurt a small boys feelings. Justin squatted down on his heels so he was eye level with Abby. 


"Hi, my name is Justin, what's your name?" 


Abby, hesitant at first and then squaring his shoulders, bottom lip out, said with determination, "I'm Abby, that's my baby, she's called Jenna. Why are you huggin Poppa Bri?" 


Giving Brian a quick puzzled look, Justin spoke to Abby. "Hi Abby and Jenna," he held out his hand to shake hands with Abby, "Your Poppa Bri is my very special friend and I missed him very much." 


Standing back up Justin held out his arms for Jenna. "Hello Jenna" the baby gazed up at Justin, blue eyes solemn, her blonde wispy curls sparkling in the evening sun. Her eyes never left Justin's as she started to smile. "Well, Mr. Kinney," Justin teased, "I think you have a bit of explaining to do." And he smiled down at Jenna and Abby. 


While the men were gathering together what little possessions they had and getting into the trucks that were going to start their journey home, Brian, leaned into Justin, gave him a quick kiss by his ear and whispered "Later". Out loud he said, "How did you ever find us?" 


"I take my job as your stalker, extremely seriously. A truly good stalker never lets thousands of miles get in the way. When I realized that you were well and truly hidden, I went into "stalker mode" contacted the union, we have a secret handshake and everything, and next thing you know, a little of this and a little of that, used up some of my Air miles and here I am." This time Justin leaned into Brian and kissed his neck, with a little lick and whispered "Later." 


The ride back to Kabul, was uneventful, everyone talking and asking questions, but Brian and Justin, sitting next to each other, Brian with Abby on his lap and Justin holding Jenna, couldn't keep their eyes of each other, their bodies always touching. The sounds of the truck and the people talking were faded and muffled, as if Brian, Justin and the children were all alone. 


"Justin, about the children, I can't explain right now, but it's important that you understand." 


"I never thought loving Brian Kinney was going to be a walk in the park. I knew from the beginning that life with you would be complicated. I love you Brian Kinney, no matter what. Together, you and I will deal with all of this, we are partners. I believe that your email would be considered a contract of sorts." And Justin, smiling leaned over and kissed Brian, all his love shining in his eyes. "Of course, I would like to have some veto power about this beard of yours." He teased. 


It took six weeks after they arrived in Kabul, for arrangements to be made that would allow Brian and Justin, take the children from Afghanistan to the United States. Six weeks of increased anxiety and tension, both men trying to be calm in front of the children. The combination of Justin's contacts that he had made in the States while lobbying for Brian's rescue and Joe Cosgrove, Liberty Air's Chairman of the Board's connections to higher ups in the government were all put into play in this adoption of the children. It was only after General Daoud, hearing of the problem, stepped in claiming kinship with the children and giving custody to Brian, that things were finally resolved. 


At least resolved as far as the children were concerned. Months of forced celibacy for Brian had him practically vibrating with wanting Justin. Living in a tent city, with two small children did not provide ideal conditions for the kind of sexual release that both men needed. Justin was loving it, nothing was quite so much fun as teasing Brian. Especially, when there wasn't much Brian could do. He couldn't run off to Babylon here. Justin had Brian so on edge, between the smoldering looks, his hand brushing Brian's pants covered cock at every opportunity, hot soft fingers lightly brushing the back of Brian's neck when he would walk past, Brian could only growl softly. "You are so going to get it when we get home, Baby." Brian thought to himself. 


They had developed an almost tantric sexual technique lying in side-by-side cots each night. Facing each other, holding hands, fingers entwined, reading the thoughts and feelings in each other's eyes in the dim light, promises unspoken, but known. Cocks, rock hard, balls aching for release, slowly they would start breathing in unison, hearts beating as one. As their life forces joined, a warmth would start to spread, inner heat would build in their groins until wave after orgasmic wave would ripple throughout their bodies and the two partners would quietly fall asleep, the children undisturbed a few feet away. 


The fact of the matter was, that this time spent together, forced both men to talk about things that for years had been ignored or left unsaid. They began to grow as a couple linked by more than sex. Justin was able to breach those twelve years of living that Brian had between them and learned more about Brian than he would ever have known otherwise. Brian, reading the journal that Justin had kept throughout the entire time Brian had been missing, came to realize that he had seriously underestimated Justin, and the strength of Justin's love for him. The journal was enlightening in many ways, Justin had written daily about what was happening with the search as well as family matters. Being an artist the journal was sprinkled with drawings of the children and family. An envelope full of newspaper and magazine articles documenting the efforts to have the men returned was attached to the back cover. Brian had thought those weeks had been lost to him and now he had them back. 


Reading the journal and the clippings, Brian began to realize that not only was Justin responsible for the on slot of support from the American public, but that he couldn't have done it without Brian's Mother's help. Joan Kinney stood beside Justin every step of the way. The two of them showing a united front had helped to sway the public. Keeping this in mind, Brian began to correspond with his mother via email. He felt that she had made the first step in healing any breaches and it was the least that he could do was make a first step in her direction as well. And then came an email that turned his world upside down once again. He felt hurt and betrayed. 


Hello Dear, 

Brian, I have to tell you a story. I want you to try to understand as best you can. It's something I have been ashamed of for many years. I promised Jack Kinney that I would never tell you this, but the past few months have made me realize what a bad mistake I made in keeping this from you. Please don't be angry with Justin, I told him this story and asked his advice. He said that you needed to hear it from me. He said that honesty between us, would eventually allow you to heal your childhood wounds. I pray that he is right. 


Brian, I attended St Mary's School from grade one thru twelve. At that time, the 50's and 60's it was an all girl's school. It was a very strict school, and I was tall and pretty and popular. St. Joseph's boys' school was across town but during special times the boys were allowed to attend dances held at St. Mary's. I met Jack Kinney during my senior year. He was handsome and like most Irishmen, he could charm anything out of anybody. I became pregnant at the end of the senior year and like a good Catholic girl, I forced Jack Kinney into marrying me. I was still a child when Claire was born. By the time she was two I felt my life had passed me by. I was married to a young man who couldn't stand me and truthfully, I couldn't stand him. He drank too much and blamed me and the baby for all his failures and shortcomings. But we were good Catholics and the thought of divorce never crossed our minds. I resigned myself to a life with my child and the Church. Jack Kinney spent his time trying to find happiness in a bottle and loose women. 


One day Jack brought home a friend of his from school. Until then I had never met Jim Magee. I'll never forget the first time I saw him, Jim walked in the front door with Jack. I was sitting on the couch playing with Claire. I looked over and as Jack was introducing us, our eyes met and we both knew that something amazing was about to happen. During the next couple of weeks Jim was a frequent visitor. He was an officer in the Marines, six feet 5 inches of the most handsome personable man I had ever met. He had remarkable hazel eyes and wonderful brown hair, with just a hint of red highlights. He would come over while Jack was at work and we would talk and laugh. He made me feel so special and loved and wanted, something I had never felt and thought I never would feel. The last day I saw him; he came in the door dressed in his uniform. He had received notice that he was leaving for Vietnam that evening. Claire was at my mother's and Jack had left with his buddies for a bowling tournament in the next town. You have to understand, that at that time, young men who went to Vietnam didn't all come back. I was so afraid for him. I was sure that I would never see him again. In the heat of the moment we made love. I knew that I should feel guilty. Committing adultery is a sin. When he left me at the door, and I looked into his eyes for the last time, I knew that something so wonderful couldn't possibly be a sin. 


I knew right away that I was pregnant. Deep in my heart I felt that it was God's way of giving me a bit of something wonderful to help sustain me in the coming years. Jack and I had by that time gone our separate ways. Oh we lived in the same house and acted the part of the perfect married couple, but we had separate bedrooms and rarely spoke when he was home, which was seldom. 


I was four months pregnant before Jack realized it. And of course you know the story of the famous dinner and what he wanted me to do. I loved this baby that was growing inside of me. I would spend hours talking to it about its father. I used the excuse that as Catholics, there was no choice but to have the child. I don't know what I thought Jack was going to do. I should have known that he would never admit that the child wasn't his. What would his buddies do if they knew that his wife had been fooling around on him?" But at home Jack never let up on me. Then one day he came home and triumphantly told me that Jim was MIA. All the hopes and dreams that I had woven in my imagination unraveled. All the love that I had for Jim, I focused on you. I learned very quickly not to let Jack see how I felt. You became the focus of his impotence and rage. I did what I could to draw his wrath to me instead but it was useless to try. I was a coward. I believed everything the priests told me. Women have no rights as individuals in the Catholic Church. Eventually, I left the Catholic Church and began attending the Anglican Church. I had no husband, my precious child was becoming more damaged every day and hated me, my daughter sided with her father, and all I had was my religion. 


Your Justin gave me back my life. With Pastor Tim's help the two of them have made me realize the mistakes I've made and the damage those mistakes caused. But they offered me hope. Brian, Justin loves you with an unselfish love that is greater than most of the marriages I know. I realize that love like that can't possibly be wrong. Justin has allowed me to become part of my grandchildren's life and in doing so I have rediscovered my son. Please let me continue to grow with the children, all of your children, and be the kind of grandmother that every child should have. Maybe then I can erase some of the hell that was in your childhood. 


Brian, I'm sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. 


Love, 

Your Mother 


The afternoon that Brian received this email, he read and reread it countless times trying to absorb everything it said. It was a lot to take in and only the circumstance of the past year allowed him to deal with all of the realities calmly. By the time Justin and the children had returned from their afternoon walk, Brian felt he could talk to Justin about his mother rationally. The two men put the children to bed for a nap. Brian sat on his cot, his back leaning against some boxes that were piled at the end. He pulled Justin down so he was sitting between Brian's legs, his back resting on Brian's chest. Brian wrapped his arms around him and leaning his cheek on Justin's hair, they talked quietly. He still found it difficult to discuss personal things, but he had learned that by holding onto Justin, keeping a connection, not actually looking at him, just touching, he could talk to Justin about anything, no matter how personal or how much it hurt. He knew it was childish somehow, but holding onto Justin, comforted him somewhere deep inside. Justin would tease him and say he had to go into "Care Bear Mode". It was a loving kind of teasing and took the embarrassment that Brian felt about needing something away. 


Later that night Brian answered his Mother's email and so began the repair of their relationship. 


Finally word came through that Jenna and Abby were free to leave Afghanistan with Justin and Brian. As usual the decision was subject to review in six months but the men were assured that this was just a formality. It didn't take long to pack their few belongings. Joe Cosgrove had arranged for a Liberty Air jet to take them back to the States. Abby was exited about flying once he realized that Brian and Justin weren't leaving him behind. They had tried to tell him all about his new home but in his short life there really was nothing to compare with. He would just have to wait and see. 


The long plane ride was uneventful. Brian couldn't help but remember the fateful trip that had taken him away from his family for so long. Justin for once was speechless, the past few months had taken it's toll on all of them. He felt mentally exhausted and tried to relax. Justin knew that life would be a roller coaster ride once they hit Kennedy Airport. He was sure that Brian was not aware of what would be awaiting them. Talking and reading a few articles about what had been done to have the men returned to the States wouldn't begin to let him know just how big the media giant would be. 


The Captain of the plane announced that they were approaching the airport. Justin checked that the children were secure in their seats and took his place beside Brian. Brian had been lost in a dream world, when Justin sat down beside him he reached over and twined his fingers through Justin's. "This is it Baby," he whispered." Our lives are beginning again. I would never have thought that picking up a hot blonde twink would have led to Brian Kinney, family man, in such a short time." He glanced over at the children and smiled. Abby was looking out the window at the city lights and holding Jenna's little hand. "What is Gus going to think about his new little brother and sister? Will he be OK with it? Brian worried. 


"Of course he'll be OK, he has the genes of two wonderful kind hearted parents." Justin leaned over and kissed Brian on the cheek. "Brian, I have to worn you, it's going to be a mob scene when we arrive." 


"How bad can it be? I suppose Mom and Anna will be there and your Mom too. But it's kind of far from Pittsburgh so I'm sure that everyone else will wait until we get home." 


"Well,--- Brian, I didn't exactly tell you everything about what happened to find you." 


"What are you talking about?" 


"You have to understand, no one was interested, and you guys were just one more corporate American problem. Even the FBI didn't get all that hot and bothered about what had happened. In next to no time you guys barely rated a mention in the second section of the newspaper. I couldn't let you be forgotten. So I thought about what Brian would do. It was the beginning of a great plan and you have to admit it worked. We're together again." 


"Justin, I used to ask myself all the time "what would Justin do?" and he gave Justin's hand a squeeze. Brian smiled at Justin with indulgence. "So when you were channeling the ideas of the great Brian Kinney, what did you come up with." 


"I, uh, kind of went overboard " Justin winced. "Besides all the usual family members and the gang, I brought your Mother aboard. Your Mother and I together brought in the congregation of her Church. The Church members brought other Christian Churches and groups together. Mel did the same with the Jewish community. Lindsey and I worked with the University network and the artists network. My Mom brought in most of the upper echelon in Pittsburgh. They in turn brought in their friends and relatives all over America. Debbie brought PFLAG members in all over the United States. Vic helped organize the gay communities. The media of course helped with the hype. We are talking a gay man searching for his partner while caring for his partner's child. There was rarely a dry eye at any of the rallies'. The Government didn't stand a chance. By the time the powers that be realized what was happening it was too late to shut us up." 


"Rallies'?" Brian wondered rolling his eyes. 


Justin said hesitantly. "You are kind of wanted on most of the major news shows when you get back." 


"Jeeze Justin, you ever hear about overkill?" Brian was trying to keep a straight face enjoying Justin's discomfort. He had to admit it was flattering that his man would go to so much trouble. He hadn't been the easiest person to live with and love. 


"I just wanted to warn you." 


The plane was taxiing up to the terminal, the city lights sparkling as Brian looked out at the biggest damn crowd of people that he had ever seen in one place. There had to have been 5000 yellow ribbons tied on anything that had sat still long enough. He looked over at Abby. Abby's eyes were the size of saucers. Brian leaned over and whispered in Justin's ear. "When we get home you are going to learn all about what overkill is. I hope you have some real good plan to get us through the crowd and to the hotel." 


The two men gathered up the children and their carry on bags and prepared to leave the plane. Only Justin was aware of the mild terror that Brian was feeling at facing the hoards of people. To anyone looking at him they would see a tall, handsome man, dressed casually, head held proudly holding the hand of a young boy. Brian and Abby stood to one side and let Justin who was holding Jenna leave the plane first. Brian casually laid one hand on Justin's shoulder as they walked down the stairs. Welcoming cheers rose up and Abby buried his face into Brian's leg. The five men who had returned earlier met them at the bottom. While greetings were being exchanged, Brian looked past the men and saw his Mother and Anna standing with Jennifer, Gus, Mel and Lindsey. Tears were creeping down her cheeks and she was smiling nervously. Just then Gus broke away from his Moms and ran up to Brian and Justin. 


"Daddy, Daddy, Poppa J I missed you guys. I was very sad for a long time Daddy. I told Poppa J he had to find you and he did." And Gus threw his arms around Brian who had squatted down to make it easier for Gus to reach him. 


"I missed you too Gus, I thought about you every day. I'm sure glad you sent Poppa J to look for me 'cause he's good at finding things. While Gus had his arms around Brian hugging him he noticed Abby and shyly ducked his head into Brian's neck. "Gus, I'd like you to meet Abby and Jenna. They are part of our family now." Both boys looked at each other warily. "This is my Daddy," said Gus rather belligerently. 


"That's OK, he's my Poppa Bri." Replied Abby shyly. 


"Poppa J, is Jenna a girl?" Gus asked, quickly forgetting his concern about Abby and Brian. 


"She sure is Gus. Now we have two boys and two girls in our family. Each of you will have someone to grow up with and have as a friend. Isn't that neat?" 


Gus grabbed Abby's hand and started to walk him over to the other adults. "Come on Abby, we got Grandma's and two Moms and Anna." As the boys were walking, Gus never stopped talking, telling Abby all about his new family. Brian and Justin looked at each other and smiled. "They way he never stops talking, you'd think he was your kid." Brian leaned over and whispered to Justin. Justin smiled and gave Brian a quick kiss. "Lets get this circus over with." He said. 


The crowd behind the barriers had watched these exchanges in silence. When the two men and the others began to walk toward the terminal a roar of approval went up. The media was out in full force and only the charismatic Kinney smile and few well-chosen words held them at bay. An official press conference was arranged for later in the day. Soon the ritual arrival dance was completed and everyone was loaded in various limousines and they headed to the hotel. 


Brian leaned his head back in the seat and closed his eyes. "Well, we survived the first few minutes back home" he sighed. Justin giving his had a squeeze silently let him know that they were doing this together. 


Finally the day was ending, the media had been satisfied, at least temporarily, friendships had been renewed, tears had been shed, and stories of the past few months had been told and retold. Joan Kinney had taken the children to her room for bed leaving the two lovers alone for the first time in months. 


As the door to the suite shut for the final time that night, Brian and Justin looked at each other in awkward silence. It felt strangely like the first time that they were together. Brian looked vulnerable standing by the door. Justin smiled at him and walked over kissed him gently and took his hand. Together they walked into the bedroom, turning lights off as they went. 


Silently they went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. They both stepped in and taking turns they began to softly run the soap over all of their bodies sprinkling baby kisses on all the parts as they were cleaned. Words were unnecessary as they became reacquainted with each other's bodies. The courtship rituals continued as they dried each other off and fingers entwined walked to the bed. "After all that has happened do you really still love me?" Brian asked. He was feeling tender and vulnerable. They had always had great sex, and wild sex, make up sex and tension relieving sex. But it had been a long time and Brian wasn't sure about the different feelings that he was having. Was sex all that their relationship really was. Had Justin, outgrown him but through loyalty didn't want to end things because of the happenings of the past few months. 


Brian was lying on his back, Justin rolled on his side and looked at Brian. He reached out and running his fingers through Brian's hair began, "I love to look and touch and feel your hair." He kissed his brow. " I love the feel and smell of your skin." He softly kissed Brian's temples, first one side and then the other. "I drown in your beautiful eyes and reach into your very soul." He kissed the lids, "Your lips on mine set me on fire." This time his kiss brought a quiet moan from Brian. "Your ears are perfect and rival those of Michelangelo's David" nibbling gently on each lobe taking tine tastes with his warm tongue, Justin moved to the pulse spots just behind each ear planting kisses and tasting with his tongue. "The sweet taste of your skin, makes me hard." Justin was biting and licking down Brian's throat to his chest. "When you hold me in your arms the world disappears, your fingers twined with mine say "I love you" in Brian speak" and Justin trailed kisses down each arm and licked and sucked on each finger planting a soft kiss in the palm of each hand. Brian's moans were louder, his body alive with sensations that had been so badly missed. Justin gently bit each nipple and then put his ear to Brian's chest. "the beat of your heart, so strong, matches mine." He began to descend lower with his licking and kissing, rimming Brian's belly causing his cock to jerk. Avoiding the rock hard beckoning cock Justin nuzzled and kissed the hollows at the top of Brian's groin. "The sensations that are aroused when I touch you here with my lips and here and here, threaten my very being." As Justin's mouth closed around each of Brian's testicles in turn, his nose brushing the base of Brian's cock. Brian holding Justin's shoulders to stop any movement was sure he was about to explode. As Justin began to move to get back to Brian's lips, Brian started to turn over. His eyes meeting Justin's spoke volumes, a silent please was formed by his lips. Justin knew that this was a time for Brian to be loved completely, it wasn't about who was the dominate one, but about giving and trust and the handing over of a heart to someone else. A heart that had been closed to anyone for years. Brian's most precious possession was being freely given. They made love countless times and in countless ways. Words spoken by both of them declaring their love. Time stopped while the two men became as one. Morning came and they were sleeping, wrapped around each other, slight smiles on each face. Anyone who saw them would know that they had to be dreaming of new beginnings.