BRIAN Brian Kinney was tired. He’d put in a grueling sixty hours in the past week and he was mentally and physically exhausted. Being the owner of his own advertising agency was far more work than he’d ever dreamed and he wondered again why he’d ever started it. It was one of life’s mysteries that in your younger years, when the stress and extra hours of work wouldn’t bother you – you never think to go out on your own. Now he was thirty-two – not that much older but still sixty hour weeks did grind him down. Propped beside the door to the loft was a brown paper wrapped parcel, the size of book. Brian bent down and lifted it up – his name in black marker was scrawled across the brown paper in a scrawl that reminded him of Justin’s though he hadn’t seen either Justin or his scrawl for almost a year. Life is funny sometimes and after they’d gotten back together Brian was sure it would last at least for a year or two and he would have taken bets that it wouldn’t be Justin who’d fuck up, but rather himself. Instead, the day after his thirty first birthday, Brian had asked Justin to leave. It wasn’t a break up – not like before – there were no tears – no one placing blame on either of them. In fact Brian had paid for Justin’s traveling expenses and the rent for the small apartment in Seattle that he’d chosen. The two of them had been married in a private ceremony in Toronto a few weeks after the Stockwell triumph. None of the Pittsburgh family was aware of the event – hell Brian even sometimes wondered if it was some kind of dream, that is until he looked at the ring he now wore on the third finger of his left hand. Neither he nor Justin ever answered any of the questions that everyone had thrown at them about the rings they wore. It was none of their fucking business as far as Brian was concerned. And Justin, well Justin was just quiet about it. That in itself should have told Brian that something wasn’t right. If anything, he had thought the blond would be over the moon with excitement over being legally married with all the rights and privileges that it entailed. Instead he would quietly smile, not even his usual sunshine smile and say nothing when asked point blank about the rings. DAPHNE Daphne lay on the sofa of her apartment studying the brown paper wrapped parcel and thinking of the way things had turned out in her life and Justin’s. ‘I always had thought that Justin and I would be best friends forever. Since we were in grade school together, that’s the way it had been. Any kind of triumph or tragedy in our lives we would share with laughter or tears. Things started to fall apart after he and Brian moved back in together. At first it was the same, and then they went away for a weekend and wouldn’t say where. I noticed Justin was wearing this heavy gold ring on his ring finger. It had some kind of fancy engraving on it but he wouldn’t let me look closely enough to see what it said. After that he got all broody and quiet. It was as if he wasn’t all with us, sort living somewhere in his head. Maybe artists do that kind of thing, but Justin had never done it before. And then not long after Brian’s birthday dinner at the Plaza dining room, Justin was gone. No goodbyes, nothing, just gone. The weird thing was Brian; he seemed almost at peace with the whole thing. I mean he was heavily involved with getting his business off the ground and somehow we fell into the habit of having dinner out somewhere once a month of so. He never said a word about Justin and I didn’t either, it was like Justin had never existed, but Brian never removed his ring, the one that matched Justin’s. He was quieter and he worked harder, or maybe it was just as hard and I never noticed. The one time I was in the loft, all the furniture had been replaced. That was odd too, I wasn’t sure what was different about it until I thought for a while – the furniture was more Justin’s kind of thing. You know cozy down filled leather chairs built to curl up in with a book or to watch television. The sofa was long enough that even someone Brian’s height could fall asleep on it and not be uncomfortable. Only the chaise was the same as before. It looked almost out of place sitting as it did in the corner. To me it looked like Brian had bought what he thought Justin would like, you know for when he’d come back even though none of us ever expected to see him again, or at least not for a very long time. So needless to say Daphne was surprised when she got home and found the book wrapped in brown paper with her name scrawled across the surface in that familiar artistic way Justin had. LINDSAY Lindsay saw the brown paper wrapped parcel sticking out of her mailbox as soon as she started up the stairs. She wasn’t expecting a parcel but as soon as she saw the writing she knew that Justin had left it for her. Melanie opened the door for her and kissed her cheek. The smell of supper cooking washed out into the street and Lindsay wordlessly handed the parcel to her wife. “Justin” Mel said softly as soon as she saw the writing. “He’s back. I wonder if Brian knows.” Lindsay hung her coat up and kissed both children before going upstairs to change into something more relaxing. It was nice to get out of the more formal clothes she wore to work and into casual sweats. While she changed she thought of the past year since Justin had left and wondered again what had happened. Brian would never discuss it, yet he never seemed to be too unhappy. Just a little sad and his eyes never had that sparkle they used to have when Justin was around. In fact the only time she’d seen that twinkle was when she caught him looking at the ring he wore. He’d been playing with Gus when the sunlight streaming through the window happened to catch it just right, and a flash of gold shone in the darkness of the room. Brian’s eyes had gone to the ring and he’d sat there and stared for the longest time while she wondered what he was thinking of with that sad smile on his lips but the twinkle of Justin in his eyes. JENNIFER AND DEBBIE Jennifer opened the door and smiled at Debbie standing there. “Come on in.” she said in that quiet way she had. Debbie was beaming “I’m almost afraid to open it.” She said as she took off her coat and laid it across a chair. “Do you think Brian meant what he said a year ago?” Jennifer had to ask. Justin may be all grown up, but she worried about him and his happiness. “You know Brian; he never says anything he doesn’t mean.” Debbie replied. “I’m darn proud of him you know.” “I am too, it could have been a disaster, but Brian, “she shook her head in wonder. “The man amazes me sometimes Deb. He comes here every Sunday afternoon and waits for Justin to call. He never says a word, just listens on the extension while the two of us visit. There are days it breaks my heart to look at him, in fact some Sundays I take the call in the other room, just so I don’t have to see the look on his face while he listens to Justin talking to me. I’ll never again doubt that Brian loves my son. I’m not sure I did the right thing in telling Brian about Justin’s phone calls or agreeing to let him hear his voice. Maybe Brian could have moved on if I’d kept it to myself.” “Hun, if Brian had wanted to move on he would have. As long as that ring is on his finger, you know he isn’t prepared to move anywhere but where he is now.” “I know, I tell myself that.” Her eyes pleaded with Debbie’s for understanding. “Brian’s like another son to me Deb, when he hurts so do I.” She remembered the Sunday when she sat with Brian’s head in her lap as he sobbed. Justin had told her he was coming back. The look of joy on Brian’s face was incredible. He was shaking so hard he could barely hang up the phone when she did. He’d crossed the floor to where she was sitting on the sofa, tears of happiness escaping down his cheeks and she’d held out her arms like any mother would to a son who was in tears and he fell to his knees, burying his face in her lap while he cried, Jennifer’s fingers combed through his hair. “Does Brian know his Sunshine’s coming back?” Deb asked and Jennifer chose to change the subject rather than answer, as she wasn’t sure that Brian would want anyone to know that he was aware of Justin’s return. “Deb, did you get the book?” she asked instead. Easily distracted, Debbie reached into the cavernous bag she carried and pulled out her brown paper wrapped parcel. “I think this is it and Jennifer, it was delivered while I was at work. I think Justin is back in Pittsburgh.” Jennifer was sure he was as well, but she knew better than to say anything. Justin owed it to Brian to see him first before anyone else. It was the least he could do. They had never discussed why he left or what had happened between him and Brian since the day he’d gotten on the plane for Seattle. But she trusted him to do the right thing by Brian, as her son she didn’t think he could do any less. BRIAN As soon as I saw the parcel I knew. I knew he was back and this time for good. I could feel warmth spread through my body and I wondered if I’d really been cold and unfeeling without him here. Now, I could feel everything, my senses came alive standing in the hallway of my building. I heard the building sounds and could smell the dust in the air. I’d gambled with my life and I’d won everything. It was like winning the fucking lottery and if I hadn’t wanted to maintain my Kinney cool, I would have shouted for joy. Instead, I turned the key in the lock and pulled back the heavy door. The alarm wasn’t set and I smiled to myself, he’s here, he’s here, he’s home. I tried to be nonchalant and dropped my briefcase on the floor. He was standing on the top step leading from the bedroom, fresh from the shower, wearing only a towel, one of the ones I’d bought because they matched the color of his eyes and I needed that color around me. “Hey” Brian said and held out his arms to the young blond who came flying down the hardwood steps launching himself into them. All they could do for the longest time was hold one another and cry silent tears of relief that what they’d had a year ago was still there - only more intense if anything. “I want to come home.” Justin said when he could finally talk. “Did you leave? I’ve always kept you here in my heart.” Brian replied uncharacteristically. “I’m sorry” “I know baby, but it’s over now.” Brian shut his eyes the better to savor the smells of Justin’s soap and shampoo and the smell that was uniquely Justin. Justin reached up and helped Brian off with his suit coat and then led him to the large comfortable chair. Brian sat down and pulled Justin down onto his lap. He reached behind and placed the soft chenille throw he’d purchased just the other day around Justin’s bare shoulders and Justin smiled at the gesture of affection. He snuggled close to Brian. Carefully Brian removed the brown paper and looked in awe at the bold colors of the cover on the book. ‘If You Love Him Set Him Free’ by Justin Taylor-Kinney. Brian’s own face looked back at him though he was dressed as a fictional character in Justin’s fairy tale book. He smiled to himself and shook his head. “Me on the front cover Sunshine?” he teased and leaned down to kiss Justin’s forehead. He opened the book to the dedication page: To the man who gave me my freedom to spread my wings and fly, my husband Brian. “My husband” Brian’s fingers traced the words. He felt warm inside and proud of the man his husband had become. He took Justin’s hand and kissed the ring that he wore and then the lips that were smiling up at him. Justin turned the page and began to read the words out loud while Brian studied the pictures that filled the pages full of trees and flowers, animals, sprites and leprechauns, fairies and brownies and people’s faces from their convoluted family as he listened with half an ear to the story unfold. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, a young man lived deep in the forest. So far into the forest that only the oldest of the forest people knew he was there. He lived in a time when magic and mystery filled the land known as Liberty and it was the only place he could hide from it. His name was Brian and he feared the magic and mystery of love and happiness more than any other thing. Brian had many friends among the little people in the Liberty woods, but he didn’t really think of them as friends, more like good acquaintances that were involved in his everyday life with one or two exceptions and yet he didn’t let those two exceptions know the real Brian, the Brian who feared the magic and mystery of love both given and received. There was Vic the famous elven chef who cooked up sumptuous feasts in the kitchen of the fairy queen, Queen Deb. There was Queen Deb herself, a self appointed queen of all the fairies in the land of Liberty, but loved by many. Queen Deb watched out for the wellbeing of more than just her family, she also watched over even the tiniest fairy or the most insignificant leprechaun. Her son Michael never billed himself as a prince, though of course he could have with his mother being who she was. But rather he liked to think of himself as Brian’s very best friend and was quick to remind everyone of this. Everyone should have a ‘best friend’ in their lives, but so often they don’t grow together and one leaves the other behind in some ways and this is what happened here in Liberty. While Brian, the highest White Knight in the land, continued to grow and get older and wiser, while he worked harder and harder to keep and maintain his status as the Black Knight Brian couldn’t see that his heart was pure – he would never be able to truly be a Black Knight. His best friend in the whole of Liberty just didn’t grow. He tried very hard to keep up with everyone, but his heart and mind just wasn’t up to it, though they continued to love him anyway. Life was good for all of them, Brian striving to maintain his reputation (undeserved) as the Black Knight, Michael is trusty sidekick, Emmett, the kind hearted Sprite and Ted, the dark eyed brownie; four unlikely friends but friends nevertheless. Oh of course there was the usual sniping and arguing, but that’s what being friends does after awhile, you lose sight of the fact that words can be sharper arrows, sharper than the ones you carry in your quiver. One night when the forest was lit by the light of a full moon, Brian and his three friends happened upon a Twinky who was standing in the middle of the Liberty forest outwardly showing all the bravado he could summon, while inwardly quaking. He desperately wanted to find a White Knight and become his apprentice though his very best friend in the whole world, Princess Daphne, thought he was far too young to be out there in the dark. Brian looked toward the clearing and his eyes met those of the Twink – everyone there knew that Brian was lost forever; the mysterious magical forces of the mystery of love had wrapped themselves around both the Knight and the Twink. Without another thought Brian took the twink back to his home in the forest on his trusty steed, Cherokee. Now when the Twink thinks back to this night, he remembers the handsome White Knight sweeping him off of his feet. He remembers the magical mystery of love binding their hearts together while their bodies joined. He remembers the joy of meeting the White Knight’s son for the first time and he remembers laughing to himself at the silliness of the White Knight trying so had to be Black. When the White Knight looks back on this special night, he too remembers the magical mystery of love binding their hearts together, but at the time he was unsure of what it was he was feeling because as a Black Knight in training, he had always avoided the stirrings of love. His Twink saw the White Knight for what he was right from the start and no amount of persuading by Michael the very best friend, or good intentions from Emmett or Ted or the many followers of the Black Knight, could ever persuade him otherwise. The love in the green flecks of his hazel eyes, shone true and pure – the kindnesses he performed – never seeking thanks spoke louder than words. And for a time White Knight and his Twink were very happy. The two of them weathered evil plots by the Hobbs Troll. They weathered the jealousy of the White Knight’s best friend and the evil doings of the Twink’s wicked father. But what they hadn’t counted on was the Black Heart of the Wicked Bitch in Training – Ethan – who used the magical mystery of love in a twisted fashion that clouded the eyes and mind of the twink from the love of his life the White Knight – the Twink was after all very young and rather inexperienced – and yes rather stupid at times. The White Knight by now had given up all pretense of ever trying to be a Black Knight, though oddly enough his family and friends continued to see him this way, which goes to show you that stupidity in the land of Liberty wasn’t exclusive to Twinks. He decided to do the only thing he could do – If he truly loved his Twink, he had to let him go – no matter how much it hurt – if his Twink was truly his – well then he would come back to him. So that’s what he did among considerable fanfare, he let his precious Twink go even though his heart was breaking. Some of his friends were triumphant – sure that the Black Knight was back in all of his former glory – though if they were true friends they would have known that the Black Knight was only a figment of everyone’s imagination. Other of his friends grieved for the White Knight and offered solace when they could. And sure enough the Twink came back to his White Knight – the nice part about the magical mystery of love is of course that true love always wins and anyone who attempts to fake it always loses. For a time once again in the land of Liberty the White Knight and his Twink lived in high in the Knight’s castle and were happy. They were so happy that one day they exchanged vows forsaking all others, something the White Knight had never thought would ever happen. The White Knight loved his Twink with all his heart and soul and the Twink returned that love. But the Twink was slowly and surly losing the sparkle that had made him the sunshiniest twink in the land of Liberty. He was young and he was feeling more and more enclosed, almost trapped and it was making him sad and unhappy because he didn’t know why. He loved his White Knight and he didn’t want any other no matter how much they worked the magical mystery of love. But he was sad and fading and fading and fading and the White Knight was afraid for his twink’s life. So he had a long talk with him and then he once again set him free – for after all isn’t that what you do when you love someone and see that they need to go? The White Knight took his Twink and almost all of the Twink’s belongings and sent him far away from Liberty to another kingdom to live and learn and discover many mysteries of life. For one long year they didn’t speak, though the Twink knew that his White Knight listened to his voice each week when the Twink spoke to his mother. The Twink didn’t mind, it made him love the White Knight even more and it made him feel even more foolish for going away. It’s tough being a Twink sometimes. One day the Twink woke up and said – “Enough is enough, my White Knight spent his life hiding in the land of Liberty avoiding the magical mystery of love and when he discovered it and accepted it willingly, the one giving it found he had to hide from the same magic. Life is very strange sometimes. I’m going back to Liberty to live happily ever after with my White Knight because he loved me enough to set me free to learn and live and I love him enough to return to his arms.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ “That’s some book Sunshine.” Brian said and Justin nuzzled his neck. “It’s on the best seller list – but I think it’s more for the illustrations than the story.” Justin admitted “Husband eh? You dedicated it to your husband?” Brian was grinning down at his Twink who really had long ago ceased to be a twink and was a handsome young man now. “Yep, I did. I don’t want to hide our relationship any longer Brian, and I’m sorry I asked you to.” “Sorry is bullshit.” Brian said and they both laughed because they knew he was going to say it. “Do you think we’ll have enough time to consummate this beginning of the next stage of our marriage before half of Liberty descends on us?” Brian asked. “Yea, I do.” Justin’s lips found his and the young blond turned until he sat astraddle Brian’s lap. “Oh?” “I put a note in with their books asking for twenty four hours to make wild and wonderful reunion love with my husband.” Brian rolled his eyes but the twinkle of love in them spoke volumes as he lifted Justin up and carried him to the bedroom.