---~^~^~^~---
Pittsburgh, PA ~ July 



Law Offices of Carrington, Smith, and Hawkins


Dear Mr. Taylor, 

This is to notify you that the settlement payment in the amount of $1.5 million has been deposited into the specified account disclosed during the final settlement meeting. 

Rhett Carrington



“Not a man of many words” Justin thought as he read the brief letter he had just opened. It seemed as if he was a popular person today. He also received a large packet of information from PIFA. The thought of the school, only reminded him of how discouraged he was with his progress in therapy. It had only been three weeks, but he knew he could be doing better; he just let his frustrations get the best of him. He had sent a small bouquet of flowers and a balloon to Marci after his blow up at his Wednesday session. She had cancelled his Friday appointment telling him that he needed to take an extra day off. So now he found himself staring at information, which he wasn’t sure, what to do with. 

He couldn’t believe that he now had that much money in the bank. He knew that he needed to pay all the hospital and therapy bills. The knowledge that he would be able to pay for college without having to burden his mother or himself with loans, was a great relief to his mind. He just didn’t have the confidence he once had to be certain of his college path. Justin also wanted to do something for Melanie for helping him and his mother with all the legal stuff. He knew that she was doing it because she considered him family, but he wanted to do something. Maybe he could volunteer to watch Gus for a weekend, and Lindz and Mel could go on a little get-a-way.  He would talk to his mom about it. 

What else? Maybe a car? Justin really liked the new Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x4. He wanted it in the metallic mid-night blue fully loaded. It would have plenty of space for his art supplies and canvases. He could take himself to therapy, and not have to rely on his friends so much. He would also be able to take Gus around in it too. Again…talk to mom.

His mom, how could he possibly repay her, he’d have to really think about that. He also wanted to set up a college fund for Molly. He didn’t trust his father’s word about anything, and he wanted Molly to do and become whatever she had a passion for. Maybe he could ask Lindsay what they had set up for Gus and he could do something similar for Molly, or maybe Ted could give him some advice.  He didn’t really want his mother to know about it. He wanted to do this, and figured his mom might object. He could set up the account and then have it be a part of Molly’s graduation present from high school.  Justin was thinking again of what to do for his mom, when… 

“Justin? Are you home?” Jennifer spoke loudly. 

“In the kitchen, mom!” 

“Of course you are!” She said teasingly, walking through the doorway. “What have you got there sweetie?” 

“It’s the letter from the lawyer’s office. It says the money has been deposited into my savings account.” 

“Oh! I guess I thought it might take longer than just two weeks.” Jen stated, just as shaken as Justin about having access to that much money. 

“I was thinking about you when you walked in.” Justin said, getting up to get a bottle of water from the refrigerator. 

“Really? What about?” 

“That I’m really going to need your help and advice dealing with a lot of things.” Justin answered. 

Jennifer glowed hearing Justin say that he needed her. He had become so independent, and then distant and hesitant after the bashing. She wasn’t sure if she would ever truly be able to help him again. She was glad she was wrong. 

“You know I am always here for you, Justin. You are my son, and I will help you in anyway I can. I will give you my opinion and offer advice, but ultimately the decision will be yours. You have turned into a fine young man and I know you will accomplish what you set out to do.” 

“Thanks, Mom. It means a great deal to me to hear you say that. I still have so much doubt and confusion, lack of confidence; and I don’t know how to handle it. I think I know, but then the uncertainty just creeps back in.” Justin said somewhat frustrated. 

“I can’t say that I know exactly how you feel sweetie, but I can say that I too have had my doubts about things I’ve done, or will do, but unfortunately that’s the risk you have to take. I know that risk probably feels like a double-edged sword for you, because you can’t be certain if your doubt is from true uncertainty or if it is a reaction because of your injury. I think all you can do, is try. Be vigilant and steadfast. You may make mistakes, you may have some regrets, but if you have given your best that is all you can do.” Jen squeezed Justin’s hand in encouragement. 

Justin stood and pulled his mother into a tight embrace. At that moment he truly knew how lucky he was to have her in his life. He pulled back and smiled. Jennifer returned the full-bodied beam and laughed a bit at the “after-school special” drama that had been going on in her kitchen. Justin joined her giggling. 

“So what should we tackle first, on the “Justin Taylor to do list”?”

“Well, I want to make sure that enough money is taken out to pay for all the medical bills and my therapy.” Justin said. 

“Okay, I’ll get all the insurance papers together and see what they are paying and then we will see what’s left. So that takes care of that one.” 

“I’d like to do something for Melanie and Lindsay. I was thinking about getting them a weekend spa retreat or something. I know Mel won’t take compensation for everything she’s done, but I want to repay her somehow. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if I offered to watch Gus for them while they went?” 

“I think that is a wonderful idea. And you can either watch Gus here or if you think it would be easier, you could stay at their place, and I can stop by every so often and help out if you need it.” Jennifer said in an encouraging voice. “Two items down!”

“Some of the others I think will be a bit more work. I need to get my mind settled about PIFA. I need to go and talk to an advisor. I want to talk to Marci about what she thinks I can handle the first couple of semesters. Or if I’m just deluding myself and shouldn’t even consider going?” Justin said with a sound of self-pity. 

“Justin Taylor, you will be able to go! I have no doubt of that in my mind! I knew you would be an artist from the first time I put crayons in your hand. You may not be able to do as much at the beginning, but you will make it!” 

“Okay, okay!” Justin said putting his hands up in defense of himself, while smiling at the lioness that his mother became when defending him, even against his own doubts. 

“I was also thinking about getting a…um…a car?” Justin wasn’t too sure how she would feel about that. Was it a frivolous want?

“Do you really want one? I mean you’ve never had a problem with public transportation.” Jen asked. 

“I don’t mind taking the bus, but it would be nice not to have to stick to someone else’s schedule for a change. And this way I could take myself to therapy, I could pick up Molly from things, so you don’t have to rush around so much. I also thought that once I start school it might be easier to get all my art supplies around in.” 

Jennifer stopped her son’s prattle by placing her fingers over his lips. “Honey, Justin, you don’t have to convince me. If you want to get yourself a car, it’s fine with me.” 

“Really? You don’t think I’m being frivolous?” 

“No, sweetheart, I don’t. Most young men your age have a car, why should you be any different?” 

“Maybe we could go and look this weekend? I was thinking about maybe the new Jeep Grand Cherokee, but we can look at others too if you think we should.” Justin said. 

“It’s going to be your car Justin, you get what you want.” 

Just as Justin was about to comment the doorbell rang. “Were you expecting anyone?” Jen asked. 

“No.” 

Jen stood and went to answer the door. With a quick glance out the side window she saw Daphne bouncing just outside the door. Jen smiled as she opened the door to let in her son’s long time friend. 

“Hello, Daphne. How are you doing?” 

“I’m doing great Mrs. Taylor. I got my packet from Carnegie Mellon today. I thought I’d come over and show it to Justin.” 

“Well sounds like the two of you will have a lot to talk about. Justin got his stuff from PIFA today as well. Come on in.” 

“Cool! Hey Jus! I got my stuff from CM, let’s compare!” Daphne said as she entered the house and headed towards the kitchen. 

“Hi Daph!” Justin stood and hugged her. 

“Hey Jus! Isn’t this so exciting! I can’t believe that it is coming up so fast! I mean, we will be going to college in just a few short months! Isn’t it great?!” Daphne was acting like a puppy on speed! 

“Slow down Daph!” Justin chuckled. He couldn’t help but be infected with her enthusiasm.

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I’m excited too, but I’m just a bit more uncertain than you are. So much impacts what I’ll be able to do now.” Justin told her, waving his weakened hand at her. 

“Oh, get over yourself, Taylor! You are going to be mister fabulous artiste! And I am going to be a renowned Psychologist! We will be marvelous together!” She refused to let him wallow. 

“If you say so.”

“I do! So let’s look at what each of us is going to be doing in the next few years.”

Daphne sat down at the table and began to spread her packets of information all around her. Justin glanced up at his mother, who was smiling at the two teens. She was glad that Justin had Daphne in his life. She would give him a swift kick in the ass when he needed it, and would be a strong shoulder to cry on just as easily. Yes both of them would be marvelous together. 

Justin decided it would be best just to go along with her. Daphne was unstoppable in this mode of excitement. It would be a futile fight. So he gathered up his information, sat across from her and began to read what his future could entail. 

---~^~---

Several hours later Daphne had successfully planned out the next four years of her life. She was double majoring in Biology and Psychology and was going to pursue a minor in humanities. Justin didn’t know how she was going to have time for eating and sleeping, let alone do all the other activities that she wanted to do. She had regaled him on all the clubs, organizations, and seminars that she just HAD to take part in. She made him exhausted just thinking about it. 

Justin on the other hand did know what the next year would entail, but beyond that…the big question mark! PIFA had what is called ‘The First Year Program’ that all incoming students participated in. It was an intense, interdisciplinary studio concentration that emphasized simultaneous development of technical skills and conceptual thinking. 

He would have classes every day but would be done by 4:00 pm. Monday and Tuesday he had Core Studio Practice from nine to four. This involved working in groups with other students and four faculty members to share lectures, presentations and collective activities.  Then on Wednesday, he had Survey of Ancient to Modern Art and Architecture from one to four. Thursday was Essay Writing from nine until noon and Friday was Research Studio I from nine to four. 

Justin was most excited about Research Studio. Students got to explore methods of investigating historical, cultural, political and social contexts surrounding a project. They would learn to use research to generate ideas, to connect form to content, and to realize projects. He felt that this course would provide him with some insight into things he could do with his art, besides just selling it. How he could use it to make a statement, or sell something. Yes, he was thinking of Brian again. 

When Justin had initially requested information from PIFA, he inquired about possible programs in advertising and marketing communications as well as the traditional arts. They did offer a degree in these areas, and unbeknownst to his family and friends he too would be getting a double major. The advertising and marketing courses would not begin until his sophomore year, so he had a year to get himself in shape before he would need to be ready to take on a heavier load. He wanted to surprise Brian. One of the big perks of the additional program was the internship that was required. Students had to apply for positions at various businesses throughout Pittsburgh to gain real life experience as part of their degree candidacy. Ryder, the company Brian worked for, was on the list. Justin knew he would apply at other agencies as well, but he would have loved to work with Brian. 

Justin was always fascinated and intrigued by Brian when he would work on an ad campaign. The way his mind worked and how he could manipulate the mind of society to agree with his ideas was amazing. Justin wanted to share that, learn from it, and maybe even contribute to it. Justin believed that one purpose of art was to sell how you, the artist, viewed an object, feeling, or idea. It wasn’t all that different. People may not buy your product, but you would at least make them consider it. 

Justin was brought out of his musings by his mother’s voice. “Daphne would you like to stay for dinner. I have plenty.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Taylor that would be great!” 

“Justin could you clear off the table and help set it please.” 

“Yeah, sure Mom.” 

While Justin was clearing the table, Daphne went in and collected the plates and silverware from the kitchen. 

“Hey Jus? Have you thought about housing at all?” 

“Not really. I just figured I’d live at home. I had hoped to be living with…” Justin trailed off. 

“Don’t give up hope Justin. Brian has to come home sometime. He still has family here. If anything he will come back for Gus, you know that.” 

“I keep trying to tell myself that, but I miss him so much and I’m so worried about him. He’s out there somewhere, and he thinks I’m dead. You know how Brian is, what if something happens to him?” Justin began to shake, allowing his panic to set in. He dropped the plate that Daphne had been giving to him on the floor, shattering it into small pieces. 

“Shit! Fuck!” 

“Justin! Are you all right?” Jennifer came rushing in. 

“He dropped the plate. I’m afraid I upset him. I asked about housing and…”

“It wasn’t your fault Daphne. I just…I can’t control my emotions when it comes to thinking about Brian.” Justin quickly interjected before Daphne blamed herself. 

“I’ll go get the broom and dust pan.” Daphne said, hoping that Jen could calm him down. She mentally kicked herself in the ass. She shouldn’t have said anything.

“I’m okay mom. I just wish he was here. I wish that stupid nurse hadn’t gotten things all mixed up. Sometimes, I think…I wonder…what is he doing? Is he all right? Then I get mad at him for leaving his family, Gus. They need him! I need him!” Justin began to cry quietly. Jennifer pulled him into her breast and let him have the release he needed. It was times like these that she understood that Justin’s emotions just got so mixed up and overwhelmed him. Once he calmed down, he would be able to regroup and put things in perspective. This was just one of the side effects that came with his injuries. 

Jen looked up and saw Daphne standing in the doorway with silent tears scarring her soft complexion. She gave an encouraging smile and motioned the girl forward. Justin, sensing his mother’s movements looked up and saw how upset his friend was. He loosened his embrace and welcomed her into the fold of the comfort that his mother was providing. 

---~^~---

Twenty minutes later, Justin, Daphne, Molly, and Jen were sitting around the table enjoying a relatively silent meal. Jen was questioning Molly about the movie that she and Teresa had gone to see that afternoon. Their chatter was allowing Justin to regain his equilibrium. Under the table Justin reached over and squeezed his friend’s knee to get her attention. She had barely looked at him since his little melt down, and he wanted to reassure her that he was okay. Daphne glanced up, and saw the little puppy dog pout that Justin was making in an effort to make her smile. She silently acquiesced grinning at him while crossing her eyes to look just as silly. 

“Justin, I was wondering; how would you and Daphne like to share an apartment together while you both go to school?”

Justin and Daphne both swiveled their heads simultaneously toward the older woman. “Mom, are you serious? I thought for sure you would want me to stay at home.” 

“Well it’s not like I wouldn’t be able to find you; and I’d expect to have a key, but, yeah I thought you might enjoy the freedom of your own place.” 

“Wow! I’m not really sure. I haven’t given it any thought.” Justin answered. 

“What about you Daphne?” Jen asked. 

“My folks said it was my decision. I could either live on campus, or at home. I hadn’t really thought about an apartment, but I guess it’s another option. 

“The reason I’m asking is because, today I had a new client come in, Mr. Ingersoll. He is part of the development team who is working on refurbishing the downtown areas. He and his associates have just completed their first building and have some apartments available. They are between PIFA and Liberty Avenue, close to the Kaufmanns building. The lower two floors are retail and office space, but the upper five floors are all apartments. I know the location is optimal for you Justin, but would it be too far out of the way for you Daphne?” 

“I don’t think it would be too bad. If they are close to Kaufmanns I can just get on Forbes Ave. and it’s a pretty straight shot to CM. And since my parents got me a car for graduation, I don’t mind driving a little.” Daphne answered getting excited about the prospect of having an apartment, and a new one at that. 

“What would the rent be? Cost might be an issue.” Daphne stated.

“Well this is where I need to get Justin’s input. I thought that you might consider buying the apartment with some of the settlement money. Mr. Ingersoll said that he would give you a reduced price on the overall sale value since you would be able to pay for it outright.” Jennifer looked at Justin with a touch of hesitancy. She didn’t want him to think that she was trying to make the decision for him. 

“Are you sure mom? I mean that’s a lot of money.” 

“It would be a great investment. With the new Downtown Living Initiative there are likely to be a lot of people looking to buy into the area; retail and businesses as well as personal residents.  As the area grows and restoration continues I think it will be a real hot bed of activity. So in the future you could really benefit from it. You could either rent the apartment out or sell it and see a huge return on your investment.” Jennifer was using some of her realtor jargon in order to at least entice Justin to look at the place.

Justin was silent for a moment. Everything that his mother was telling him sounded reasonable and he really would like the opportunity to be somewhat on his own, more independent. It wouldn’t hurt to at least look at the place. He could tell that Daphne was getting more excited by the minute at the possibilities. He didn’t really want to charge her rent. Maybe just have her kick in a little extra on utilities and such. He knew that she would not accept a free ride; they were very much alike in that respect. 

“How much is the asking price?” 

“He is willing to sell it to you for $275,000 which is an absolute steal. I predict in three to four years the space will be worth at least three times that much!” Jennifer answered her son, getting excited herself.

“All right. Do you think we could go and see it tomorrow? You aren’t doing anything say around lunch time, are you Daph?” 

“No that would be great! I’m free all day!” 

“Well, why don’t you meet us here, Daphne, around eleven o’clock, and then we’ll drive over to the apartment and check it out, then have a late lunch.” Jennifer suggested. 

“Can I come too, mom?” Molly asked. The others at the table had forgotten she was there. 

“Sure Molly, I don’t see why not? Is that okay with the two of you?” 

“Yeah.” Justin and Daphne said at the same time. 

“Cool! Mom, may I be excused? I want to go call Teresa.” 

“Yes Molly you can go call Teresa, but rinse your dishes first.” Jennifer said to her youngest. 

Daphne and Jennifer cleared the rest of the table, while Justin put the leftovers in containers. 

“I better be getting home. I need to inform my parents about this new development. Jus, what should I tell them about rent?” 

“Well, I wasn’t really going to charge you rent since I’ll be making a good investment by buying the place. As long as you chip in for your part of the utilities and such, I think that would be fair.” 

“Oh Yes! My parents will definitely like that!!” Daphne grabbed her packet from CM and her purse, yelled bye to Molly from the bottom of the stairs and gave Jen a hug.  “Jus, walk a lady to her car?” 

“What lady? I don’t see any lady, well except for my mom.” Justin smirked sarcastically. 

“You, sir, are no gentleman, but I am a lady so I will graciously forgive your snide comment. Now come on! Walk me to my car! You little shit!” Daphne slid her arm into Justin’s and dragged him out the door. 

---~^~---

The next day saw the Taylor clan plus one driving into downtown Pittsburgh. Jennifer had made arrangements for Neil Ingersoll to meet them outside the renovated building shortly before eleven o’clock. Turning onto Fifth Street, Jennifer brought her Taurus to a stop at the parking meter just down the street from the entrance. 

Justin was impressed with the architectural integrity that the builders had obviously tried to maintain on the old structure, but he could see some of the modern touches in the lines of the new windows and entrances. He glanced around taking in some of the shops that were either already open or going to be open soon. Of course there was a Starbucks on the corner; was there a corner in the country that didn’t have one? There was also a deli, and what looked to be a Chinese restaurant as well. There was a drug store across the street and a dry cleaner. His eyes were drawn to a bright sign in the window of a space that obviously wasn’t open yet, but looked like it would be soon. Michelangelo’s Ceiling: Art supplies; how lucky could he get? 

 “This is so cool Justin! It’s amazing down here. I never realized that they were doing all this. Such is the life of a suburban teenager.” Daphne said, while smiling at Justin. 

“Are you going to live here Justin?” Molly asked, absorbing energy from Daphne’s excitement.

“I might; I need to see the apartment first. Besides, Mr. Ingersoll might see us and decide that he doesn’t want two teenagers living here.” Justin replied. 

“Don’t be ridiculous Justin, he’ll love us! Everyone does!” Daphne just couldn’t contain herself; she so wanted to live down there.

Justin continued to survey his surroundings while Daphne and Molly bounced around. He focused on his mother as he watched her approach with a good-looking man whom he assumed was the builder. 

“Justin, this is Neil Ingersoll. Neil, this is my son, Justin, and this is Daphne Chanders, and my daughter Molly.” Jennifer introduced. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Justin. Your mother speaks very highly of you.” Neil extended his hand in greeting. 

“It’s good to meet you too, and mom tends to exaggerate.” Justin said, accepting the other man’s hand. 

“Mine does too, I think it’s in their genes.” Neil said in return to Justin’s comment. 

Justin smiled; he liked the easiness that Mr. Ingersoll had about him. He would say that he was around his father’s age, maybe slightly younger. He had brown hair and a casual-rugged look about his features. He was dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. The leather satchel tossed over his shoulder was worn and showed signs of lots of work. 

“So Justin, did your mom exaggerate about you being interested in one of the apartments?” 

“No, Mr. Ingersoll, she didn’t. I am interested. I would be sharing it with my friend Daphne. We are both starting college this fall. I’m attending PIFA and she will be going to Carnegie Mellon.” 

“Your mother said you were an artist. PIFA is a huge accomplishment, congratulations. One of my business associates graduated from there. I think I will show you the apartment on the top floor. It is in the northwest corner and I think you will really like it.” 

Neil directed everyone to the central entrance of the building and opened the door. “This entrance is being fitted with a secured entry lock so that only people who live in the building will have access. Each resident will be given an individual security code indicating that they have entered the building. This is tracked via an area security company that we chose after much research. The company will also install a security system to individual apartments if you so choose. Also the building is equipped with underground parking that is gated and requires the use of your security code to gain access.  The elevator is located at the back of this entryway, and goes down to the parking levels as well as the upper floors.” 

“I was going to ask about parking. It’s awesome that it is within the building premises. My father will be happy about that. He’s worried about his ‘baby girl’” Daphne said. 

“We took special pains to make sure that our residents would feel safe. We were hoping to attract today’s up and coming professionals, many of which are single females, so safety was a key component.” Neil responded. 

They all entered the elevator and rode to the seventh floor. The elevator exited into a lobby that had four smaller alcoves off of it.  Everyone exited and followed Neil toward the unit he wanted to show them. 

“Here we are suite 710.” Neil took out the keys and opened the main entry. He stood to the side and let Justin and Daphne enter first followed by Jennifer and Molly. He stayed in the shadows a bit and just let them look around for themselves. Neil believed that the space would speak for itself. 

As Justin entered the main door he was greeted with a vast amount of sunlight that poured in through the floor to ceiling windows that made up the exterior walls of the main living space. There was a small powder room and the laundry room on one side of the hallway, along with the entrance to one of the bedrooms and the entrance to the master bedroom was on the opposite side. The living space was sunken off of the upper elevation which housed the bedrooms. It was an open concept that could be visually divided into three distinct areas; the kitchen, dining area and living room. The living room was expansive enough to handle some possible computer workstations for both him and Daphne. 

The kitchen had all the modern amenities; stainless steel appliances including refrigerator, double cook stove, and dishwasher. It also had an island in the center and a staggered bar top for causal dining. The kitchen was distinguished from the dining area by the flagstone-like tile that was on the floor. The rest of the apartment had bamboo hard wood flooring. 

There was a balcony off of the living room that looked out over the surrounding area. Turning around, Justin faced Daphne and his mother and sister who had stopped and just watched him as he looked around his new home. Jennifer was sure that Justin would soon be living here. It was just the type of space that she could see her son spending his college years in. 

“Justin why don’t you go check out the master bedroom?” Jennifer suggested

Neil finally decided to enter in some of his opinions at this point. “Justin, I really hope that you will like the master bedroom. I picked this particular apartment for you because of the features within the suite.” 

Justin was intrigued now. “Lead the way.” Justin said. He followed Neil back toward the main door and veered to the left into the master entryway. Off of the entryway to the right was the master bath and to the left the master walk in closet. Justin was drawn into the bathroom buy the three skylights in the ceiling. There was a large shower built for two and a large-elevated Jacuzzi tub that had a small set of stairs that connected the tub to the shower. Dual sinks were situated across from the tub and an enclosed toilet rounded out the room. 

Exiting the bathroom, Justin stepped down into the main area of the master suite. It was a large space that had a built-in unit along one wall that could house electronics, books or other things. The next things that Justin noticed were two sets of French doors leading out onto an enclosed sunroom. Like the living room it had floor to ceiling windows on the two outer walls and skylights in the ceiling. It was a large space 19x8 feet. Justin could just imagine setting up a studio out here. He could lose himself in his art and close out the world around him, while all the time being able to watch life as it happened in real time through the panes of glass. 

“It’s absolutely incredible! Thank you so much Neil! It’s perfect.” Justin gushed. Not wanting to leave his mother out; Justin ran to her and gave her a hug, thanking her profusely for knowing what he needed.

“I knew you’d like it! And Miss Daphne don’t you fret, although your room is not as big, it also has a balcony and a Jacuzzi tub.” 

Upon hearing that, Daphne turned tail and ran to the other room to check out the space and plan out how she was going to decorate. She knew that she and Justin would be moving in soon. 

“Daphne, wait for me!” Molly yelled hot on the heels of her brother’s friend. 


---~^~^~^~---


Jackson Hole, WY ~ The Sassy Moose

Brian stood in the driveway of the Sassy Moose and waved to Ken as he backed up and headed back into town. He had just dropped off the final paperwork on the Hammermill Cottage. Brian was very impressed at how Ken had handled all of Brian’s bizarre requests as far as banking information and such. He only allowed Ken to get information from Brian directly or through his credit report. He didn’t want anyone in Pittsburgh contacted. He wasn’t ready for that yet. His talk with Jesse and Tyler almost two weeks ago had helped to release some of the demons that he had inside, but he still harbored fears regarding those whom he had left behind. No he didn’t need anyone in the Pitts finding him right now. 

Brian planned on going over to the cottage the next day to inspect everything and just brainstorm about things he might want to do with the place. Ken and the county inspector had gone over the specs with a fine tooth comb, so he knew the structural aspects, water and electrical were all up to code. The repairs that were needed were mostly cosmetic. The appliances needed to be updated and Brian wanted to replace the furnace, but otherwise, he could take his time making it his own. 

He had to chuckle at himself; he couldn’t believe that he had been that spontaneous and bought this cottage out here in the woods! Michael would go off the deep end; it was so out of character for him, hell all of his friends would think he had completely lost it. But despite the humor of thinking how his friends would react, Brian was happy with his purchase. He still hadn’t quite figured out where this side of himself was coming from, but welcomed it none-the-less. 

Since their trip to the grizzly and wolf center, TJ had become almost a permanent attachment to Brian’s side. They had gone fishing with Tyler and hiking with Jesse, but Brian had had the most fun teaching the young boy to swim. Brian had always loved the water; it had given him a sense of freedom as a young child. He could escape within the blue depths and forget the harsh land above. Justin’s blue eyes had been the same color of the beautiful water he used to glide through. That was probably why it was so easy to get lost in them. Justin had given him that same sense of freedom; he had just failed to recognize it. 

TJ had taken to the water very easily and was already trying to race Brian across the small lake close to the inn. Of course Brian let him win, even though TJ had to take about ten strokes to every one of Brian’s. TJ was now determined that he was going to be a Merman when he grew up and rule all the fish in the lake. The older men of the house let him have his fantasy; fantasies tended to vanished too quickly. Tyler had told Brian over breakfast that he was going to suggest to TJ’s parents that they enroll him in swimming lessons when they got him home. 

Just as Brian was about to go back inside, Jesse, Tyler, and TJ pulled up in the Jeep. They had driven across town to get TJ a birthday present. His birthday was actually on Saturday of the following weekend, but this particular present couldn’t wait. When TJ saw Brian he stuck his head out the window yelling for him. 

“Brian! Brian! Come and see my present!” 

“I’m coming little man.” Brian said as his bare feet strode over the asphalt. 

Reaching the side of the Jeep, Brian peered through the window and saw what had TJ so excited. Curled up on a soft fleece blanket was a small Siberian husky puppy. TJ roused the puppy and when it opened its eyes, Brian saw that he had one blue eye and one brown eye. The dog’s coloring was black, gray and white and he noticed that it already had a bright blue collar on which was attached to a leash that TJ held onto tightly. 

“Well it seems like someone has a new friend.” Brian said. 

“Yes, I do. His name is King Triton.” TJ replied. They had been watching the Little Mermaid a lot! “I got to pick him out all by myself! Isn’t he great?!” 

“He most certainly is. It is a big responsibility to have such a great and loyal friend; are you up to the challenge?” Brian asked with all seriousness. 

“Yes, yes I am. Grandpa Jesse said I had to take care of him, because he was just a baby and since he was going to live with me instead of his mommy, I had to be extra good with him. So we went and got a collar and a nametag for him that has my phone number just in case. We also got this leash so he won’t run away, and food, and bowls. I’m going to walk and run with him everyday and keep him brushed too.” 

“It sounds like you are going to be a perfect friend for him.” 

“Come on Triton! Let’s go run in the grass. The small pup jumped down and chased behind his little master and tried to bite on the leash as if to lead himself around. 

Brian reached behind the seat and grabbed the bag of puppy chow and what appeared to be a bag of dog toys. Tyler was busy taking pictures of TJ with Triton, so Jesse collected the rest of the bags and walked with Brian inside. 

“He has been bugging us for a dog, ever since he first saw Hayden at the wolf center. We figured he was old enough so now we have a King living in the Sassy Moose.” Jesse said. 

“I wish I had had a pet growing up. My parents just weren’t the pet type.” Brian said with disdain. 

“Maybe you can get one for Gus when he is older and you can experience having a pet through his eyes.” Jesse commented. 

“Yeah, I guess I could do that. I’m sure Gus would love it; the munchers on the other hand might take some convincing.”   

“We called and talked to Michelle and her husband before we took this little outing to make sure they were okay with it first, but they finally relented. I think TJ was driving them crazy about it too. This way they didn’t have to find the dog, they just have to help take care of it.” 

“When are they coming down to pick him up?” 

“They’ll be here Friday night, stay for the weekend, and then head home. I’ll miss him when they leave.” Jesse sighed and continued to put the few groceries away. 

“Yeah, it will be quiet. I might actually get to sleep in.” Brian laughed and Jesse joined in. 

---~^~---

Brian retired early that evening, needing to think about his next move. He had learned a great deal about himself during his stay; the biggest being he didn’t need to be the “Stud of Liberty Avenue.” anymore. There was more to him than that. He could get along well with people without putting up a false front. He found that he really enjoyed photography, and was quite good at it. He had always felt it was required that he “hit the gym” to keep up his outstanding looks, so he could apprehend that next trick; but his runs in the mountain air and swimming with TJ made him realize that exercise just made him feel good. 

Brian’s interactions with TJ also allowed him to accept that he could be the father that Justin always said he could be. He wasn’t like Jack, and wouldn’t become like Jack either. Surprisingly he had been patient with almost all of TJ’s questions, and enjoyed seeing how the boy learned new things. It was like being able to relive his childhood without all the bad parts. He could only imagine how much more rewarding it would feel to do all those things with Gus. The only problem being, he wasn’t sure he could go back yet. And what about the things he had missed already? He couldn’t get those back. If he was honest with himself he was just plain scared to go back. 

So if he wasn’t ready, where would he go next? 

---~^~---

<i>“I won’t.  I won’t think of you. When I walk out that door I don’t plan on ever looking back…” I see him turn to look back at me… “JUSTIN!”</i>

“JUSTIN!” Brian shot up trembling. He began to rock back and forth trying to regain some sense of calm. What had he done? Why did he push Justin away? He should have been pulling the blonde tightly too him! Damn his insecurities and false sense of self. Why? 

“Brian? Are you all right?” Jesse knocked cautiously on the door to Brian’s room. He and Tyler had been awoken by the bone-chilling scream. “Can I come in?” 

Answering just barely enough to be heard, “Yes.” 

Jesse was startled when he took in the apparition that blankly stared back at him from the bed. He couldn’t tell if Brian was still dreaming or if he was awake. “Brian?” 

“I’m…okay…Jesse. Just too many memories bombarding through my head. If I’d just…” 

“Don’t Brian; it won’t make it any easier blaming yourself.” 

“But I pushed him away so many times, Jesse. And then the one time I try to pull him to me, he’s…Why? Why Justin?” Brian looked helplessly into Jesse’s eyes hoping against hope that he could give him some kind of answer. 

“I wish I could tell you why, Brian, I really do. But I just don’t know. But I do know, that if Justin loved you the way you say he did; do you honestly think he would want you to blame yourself?” 

“I know for a fact he wouldn’t, but I’m not Justin. I’m a self-centered asshole who doesn’t care for anyone but…” 

“Stop! Stop right there! You are not! And I will not let you sit here and say you are. You have been so wonderful with TJ, and you have taken time to get to know Tyler and myself. I know that I can’t begin to know everything about you, but someone like you described wouldn’t even be here right now.” 

Brian looked at Jesse with a question in his eyes. 

“You would have still been in Pittsburgh. Going about your normal everyday activities. Instead, you’re a thousand miles away from home, away from all that is familiar, beating yourself up over something you had no control over.” 

“Don’t you mean being a coward? I couldn’t even stay for his funeral. I couldn’t face his mother, my friends, knowing that they all probably blame me for this ever happening.” 

“If they blame you then they are not truly your friends.” 

“But they are; they’ve been there for me through so much.” 

“Then why are you here? Seeking solace from strangers?” 

“I don’t know?”

Tyler interrupted the conversation bringing Brian some tea with honey, hoping it would relax him. 

“Thank you, Tyler.” Brian said accepting the offered cup. 

Tyler sat down next to Jesse and wondered if he should offer his opinion. 

“Brian I don’t usually like to make assumptions, but I think you’re here because you are ready to make some changes and you’re afraid that your friends won’t be able to accept them. From what we’ve talked about, you are the alpha in your little band of friends. They expect certain things from you and when you deviate from them, they get lost, question the things they do. Justin was the only one who didn’t do that. He didn’t have any preconceived impressions of you; he saw what you allowed him to see.  His perception of you began the first night you were together. You told us that he left an indelible mark on you that first night, I’m sure you did the same for him. Now that Justin is gone I think you might be doubting the changes you were willing to make for him.” 

Brian sat in silence taking in what Tyler had just said. Tyler was right he was scared that his friends wouldn’t accept who he wanted to become and even make fun of him for trying. If he still had Justin he could justify his actions, but without him…

Tyler interrupted his thoughts. “Brian I’m going to suggest the one thing that you probably don’t want to hear, but you have to decide what it is you want for yourself. You need to take Justin out of the equation. What kind of man does Brian Kinney want to be?” 

“I thought I was discovering who I could be with Justin. I think I mentioned that after I didn’t get the job in New York, that I really sat back and started to think about where my life was going and were it was likely to go if I kept doing the things I had always done; what I came up with wasn’t pretty.” 
Jesse and Tyler both nodded silently, realizing the Brian was talking to them, but also trying to rationalize his thoughts. 

“I really started to think about the possibilities that Justin had to offer. Yes he was young, and had moments when he acted less than his age, but those times were outweighed by the times of comfort and wisdom that he offered. Justin was so intelligent, strong, and talented. He had dreams and goals for himself. Did I tell you about the time I actually saved him from himself?” 

“No I don’t think you did.” Jesse answered. 

“Justin was an exceptionally talented artist. When he found out that his parents were getting a divorce, he felt guilty and was going to give up his dreams of Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts to go to Dartmouth where his father wanted him to go. The same father that had kicked him out and tried to kill me. I knew I couldn’t let him do that. I found him at Babylon one night….

<i>“To Dartmouth and your bright shining future as Andrew Carnegie.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

“Only, I thought you were going to be the next Andy Warhol.”

“I changed my mind.”

“And after all the trouble I went through to make you the best homosexual I could. I can’t believe you’d blow it and with the flimsiest excuse…I’ve caused my parents enough pain; how can you even stand there and look me in the eye?”

“It’s true.”

“It’s BULLSHIT! They caused their own pain just like everybody else, and now you’re going to give up everything you want just to make them happy…That. Is. Totally. FUCKED!”

“Shut up Brian! You don’t know anything.”

“I know its scarier finding your own way than doing what’s expected of you.” 

“I’m not scared.” 

“You’re fucking terrified…just like the night you met me…I was sure you’d run back home, but you didn’t…you said ‘I’m going with him…”</I>

Something clicked in Brian’s mind as he re-lived that time in Babylon. It is scarier finding your own way. Brian was running away from his fears; using Justin’s death as his excuse. 

“Brian? Are you okay?” Tyler questioned reaching out to gently touch Brian on the shoulder. 

“Yeah. I just realized I need to take my own advice. I do need to figure out what it is I want to do. Maybe if I do that, I can move on and still look back.” 

“We are here if you need us.” Jesse said.

“Thank you both so much. I have some thinking to do. I guess I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Brian it is morning. It’s almost 5 am.” 

“Oh, well I guess I’ll see you later then.” Brian chuckled. 

“Okay. Try and get some rest too. We’ve still got TJ for a few days, and he’s going to want to spend time with you.” 

“I will.” Brian said as Jesse and Tyler retreated to their room. Once back in the confines of their bed, they embraced tightly, thankful that they had each other. 


---~^~^~^~---
Authors Note: The program of study that is described for Justin is based on an undergraduate program from the Art Institute of Chicago. I have used some of their descriptions that were obtained from their web site: www.artic.edu no infringement was intended. It is strictly used for the detail of the story. 

For those of you who would like to see the floor plan for Justin & Daphne’s apartment it can be found at the following link. Keep in mind I made some alterations to the original plan for the story, but you get the idea. www.lhermitageproperties.com/images/Le_club_loft.gif  
Also here is the link for the Hammermill “cottage” that Brian is buying:  www.architecturaldesigns.com then search for plan number W3313SR.