Chapter 9 It was Monday morning and Emmett sat at his desk, going over invoices and planning out the incoming week. He was very much a hands-on owner/operator, needing to be a part of all the decisions that were necessary to insure that Fabulous continued to be Pittsburgh’s most successful party planner. In the ten years that he and Max had been together, business had doubled, then tripled, and the little party planning business had evolved into a huge corporation, with satellite businesses in frozen food and party table-ware. There was also a Chicago branch that Max’s sister, Andie Levin managed, however all final decisions were still brought to Emmett’s inbox. Max’s primary responsibility was the food, all areas of it. The buying and preparing and presentation, along with all the dishes sold in the frozen food side of Fabulous, appropriately called Delightful. He too was very much a control freak when it came to his area of expertise and their business partnership flourished as successfully as their marriage. The instances of any kind of disagreement between the two were so rare you could count them on one hand. Emmett’s private line rang, a number only known to a selected few. He looked at the caller ID and saw that Gus was on the other line. “Hey Baby,” Emmett said, sounding perky and upbeat as usual. “What can I do for you?” “Hey Em,” Gus answered. Emmett waited for Gus to continue but when he saw that it wasn’t going to happen, he forged on. “Are you in need of any party planning, sweetie? Do you need to stock your freezer with some yummies from Delightful?” Gus smiled into the phone when he heard that. “No, Em, that’s not why I’m calling.” “What is it Gus?” Emmett asked, switching to a more serious voice. “Are you okay?” “Em,” Gus said, hesitating again, trying to figure out how to spill out his request. “I need to talk to you.” “Sure sweetheart, talk away. I’m all ears,” Emmett gushed. “I mean, in person,” Gus said. “Not on the phone.” “Oh,” Emmett answered surprised. “Do you want to swing by here?” “No,” Gus said, thinking about what he wanted. “Would you mind coming over to the loft? After work?” Emmett took a quick look at his calendar and when he saw that it was clear he said, “I’m free tonight. I can stop by around six-thirty. Will that work for you?” “That’s fine,” Gus answered. “I’ll see you later. And Em?” “Yes?” “Come alone, okay?” “Okay,” Emmett said, twin lines appearing between his brows. He put the phone down, more intrigued than ever. Gus sat back on his chair and covered his face with both hands. He had no idea if he was doing the right thing by calling Emmett, but he had to talk to someone or he felt that he would go out of his mind. His entire world had been upended by one man. One man who had moved him from one place in his brain to another, changing the way he looked at the world and life in general. Gus felt like he was on the most amazing roller-coaster ride. The highs and lows of the last few days had been indescribable and he would have needed medication if not for the fact that every time he started having a moment of disgust or self-doubt, Aedan would appear and would wipe out any sort of misgivings that may have crossed his mind. One word, one touch was all it took. Aedan had been by his side constantly after their little incident in the sauna. He had graduated into letting Aedan into the loft, letting him see him practically naked, lying in bed as Aedan worshiped at his cock, bringing him to heights he had never experienced with his wife or anyone else for that matter. Aedan had been patient and loving and extremely masterful, never once asking that Gus do anything more than allow him to service him. He had never pressed Gus to reciprocate in any way, yet Gus knew that Aedan wanted him desperately. He could feel himself getting more and more comfortable with him and the thought of sex with another male. He wanted to take Aedan in his mouth too, to allow him to do more to his body than just give him blowjobs, to let him fuck him; Gus just needed some kind of reassurance, from someone, anyone at this point, to tell him it was okay and he wasn’t a freak. He also needed to know what to expect, how to do what he was supposed to. All these questions needed answers and since he couldn’t pick up the phone and call Brian, he opted to ask Emmett instead. He believed that Emmett would be able to give him fair answers without judging him in any way. He had been kind the morning after his first meeting with Aedan and he could almost count on him being kind and fair again. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud but his heart was telling him that he was falling for Aedan, in a way that far surpassed anything he had ever felt for Ashley or any other woman he’d ever been with. The thought of Aedan made him smile involuntarily. Visions of him and his mouth on his cock brought an instant hard-on, hearing his voice on the phone made him weak with desire. It was maddening and wonderful at the same time. He could very well be losing his mind, he thought to himself, but at least he’d go nuts happily. Now he finally understood the looks his fathers gave each other all the time. The instances when he’d walk in on a moment of passion, an embrace or a kiss and the now infamous under-the-desk blowjob. He had never understood the need before this. His relationship with Ashley had been passionate enough, although in retrospect, it lacked a certain element that he was experiencing with Aedan. This wanting to please and the willingness to do anything to achieve that had been missing with Ashley. There were certain sex acts that he was willing to do with her and others they never discussed. With Aedan, his willingness knew no bounds; at least in his mind. He had yet to put to practice every fantasy he’d had but he knew for a fact that he would do it. It was just a question of when. He still had to come to terms with the immediate problem of announcing his switch to the whole world. He had no idea how they would react, except for Austin. He would probably cut him out of his life, never wanting to have anything to do with him, ever again. The funny part of all this was that he had absolutely no desire to be with any other man. The thought of sleeping with anyone on his football team or anyone he’d known in school, made him want to throw up. What was it about Aedan that made everything seem okay? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian lay on Justin’s chest, listening to his heart thudding after another session of outstanding sex. They’d snuck away while the girls were having a ‘spa morning’, a gift from the hotel management for Brian’s continued patronage. The twins were treated to manicures and pedicures along with the usual shampoo and blow-dry. Everything their little girly hearts could think of. All Brian cared about was that they be kept occupied for at least two hours so that he could fuck the morning away and groan as loud as he wanted without having Justin covering his mouth and worrying about being heard. So they did. Fuck that is, in every location of the suite, in every position. He fucked Justin down his throat and up his ass. It was like old times, coming over and over, amazing even himself with his own prowess. “Did you take a Viagra without telling me?” Justin asked, completely worn out. “No, don’t be insulting,” Brian snarked, as he rolled off Justin and reached for his first cigarette of the day. “I’m not! I’m fucking amazed at your stamina-you’re wearing me out; I don’t get how a man your age can keep doing this without any letup.” “My age?” Brian asked, leaning on his elbow, the eyebrow raised way too high for Justin’s comfort. “Well, you know what I mean,” Justin said quickly. “No, what do you mean, Sunshine?” “I mean, it’s not fucking normal for a fifty-five year old to get it up multiple times in two hours,” Justin said, covering his eyes with his hands, grimacing as he tried to get in a more comfortable position to take the pressure off his used and very abused asshole. “Don’t you know that fifty-five is the new forty? It’s also the fact that I’m not smoking as much; it’s given me a second wind, so to speak. This is entirely your fault, Sunshine,” Brian said, snuggling up to Justin’s neck and taking a playful bite. “You are only reaping the benefits of my new found health.” “Shit, by your calculations, I should be acting like I’m in my late twenties, yet somehow my ass isn’t quite as resilient as it used to be. What about my God damn health, Brian? I’m going to be sore for days.” “No you won’t. Your asshole has remarkable recovery powers. It always has, so I’m not buying your story,” Brian smiled at his partner, kissing him deeply, loving it when Justin kissed him back, moaning into his mouth, his body betraying him once again, needing Brian more than it needed respite. “How about if we trade places this time,” Brian whispered into Justin’s ear, “Save your ass for a rainy day and use mine for now?” Brian asked, his hand moving down to Justin’s cock which was already half-erect. “’Kay,” Justin said breathlessly, his mind already focusing on the task ahead, moving position so that he could top Brian, always a gift, seldom given. By the time they were done, they were both drenched in sweat. Justin was draped over Brian like a cat on a window ledge, purring in contentment. “I don’t know why I don’t let you do that more often,” Brian said, fighting desperately to keep his eyes open. “I forget how fucking good you are at this.” “One of my many hidden talents,” Justin replied, rubbing his face on Brian’s back, cherishing the compliment that always gave him as much pleasure as the act itself. “Did I tell you yet how much I love you?” Brian mumbled, just before he fell asleep. “Only four times in the last half-hour,” Justin whispered to no one in particular as he too closed his eyes and slept. The next sound they heard was banging on the suite doors as Sasha and Sorina stood outside wanting in. “Christ,” Brian said under his breath as he struggled to get up from underneath Justin’s dead weight. Neither had moved from their earlier position and it was an effort to put one foot in front of the other, much less trying to look normal and fully clothed as he opened the door to let his two excited daughters into the suite. “Dad,” Sasha exclaimed. “You look like you just got out of bed!” “I did. Your Daddy and I took a nap, we were exhausted.” “But it’s only eleven o’clock. Why are you both so tired?” “I don’t know sweetie. Maybe cause I’m older than dirt,” Brian said with a smile. “Come on Dad,” Sorina said, “You’re not old.” “How old is old, Sorina?” Brian asked. “I don’t know. Old is like Babushka and Nana Chanders. That’s old,” she said, her face lighting up animatedly as she talked. “Yeah, I guess then I’m not that old, yet,” Brian said, as he made his way into the kitchenette on one side of the suite and started preparing the coffee. In a few minutes the room was redolent with the smell of newly-made coffee and like clock-work, Justin staggered out of their room and headed straight to the pot. He walked into the kitchen in sweats, shirtless, with a case of really bad bed-head, his lips swollen and red, victims of the mauling they had received earlier. “Sunshine,” Brian said as he watched Justin stagger in. “Don’t you look like a breath of fresh air.” “Shut up, Brian,” Justin replied, taking a sip of the coffee that he hoped would clear his head. Every muscle in his body ached, but in an oh-so-good kind of way. He hadn’t felt this fucked-out in a long time. The few sessions of sex they’d had on this trip had been just that; few and forgettable, except for the very memorable one in Russia. That one made up for all the other mediocre quickies they had to content themselves with due to privacy issues. Yes, they had their own room but Justin was beyond paranoid about the girls listening in on them and it was excruciating to have sex without making one sound. Most people just assumed Justin was the screamer when in fact they both were, in their own way. Grunts and moans were all a part of the fun and without them it was like jacking off in private, way too quiet. This was probably why Brian had the stamina of a thirty-year-old earlier this morning and could sustain their pace for so long. It was all the pent-up energy of withheld screams. Finally, Justin’s brain seemed to settle back to normal. The coffee worked its usual magic and soon he was able to look at Brian and smile at him, the secret smile that said, ‘you are amazing and I love you’, all in one look. He moved over to the table where Brian sat with the girls and he scooted onto his lap, pulling Brian’s arms around his waist, feeling Brian moving forward to rest his head on his back with a sigh. “You okay?” he heard Brian whisper, and he nodded, making sure that Brian was aware that he was fine. “Okay girls, it’s our last day in London,” Justin announced. “Tomorrow we fly to Madrid for a week, to visit Aunt Molly and her family. Think about what you want to do today. Shop? Tour? What’ll it be?” “Harrods,” they both squealed, hurting Brian’s ears but making him happy nonetheless. There was only one other thing he loved more than shopping, and he’d already had his fill for the day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gus sat on his easy chair, staring at the hockey painting. It was almost six-thirty and Emmett would be there any minute. He had a beer in his hand, the third one for the night. He had wolfed down two bottles as soon as he got home, knowing he’d need the liquor to fortify him for this discussion. The squawk-box announced Emmett’s arrival and he pushed the button to let him in. Shortly after, Emmett stood at his front door, holding a bottle of Chardonnay and two wine glasses. “Hey Em,” Gus exclaimed, surprised that he had brought a gift. “You really didn’t need to do that.” “I know honey, I just thought it’d be nice, to relax and have some grape juice with a friend.” Gus thanked him, grateful for the gesture. He took the bottle and glasses and went over to the counter to uncork it, pouring them both generous portions. He went back over to the living room where Emmett was sitting on the couch waiting. “I don’t quite know how to say this,” Gus started, handing Emmett his glass. “Let me help you, sweetie,” Emmett said, “You saw him again, your mystery man.” “Yes,” Gus replied, taking a sip of wine and waiting. “And? Tell me…tell me. What did you think? Was he all that, or was it the booze talking? How did you react? Where did you see him?” “Whoa,” Gus said, laughing at Emmett’s enthusiasm, although relaxing a bit, now that it was out in the open. “I went back to Babylon and he showed up.” “And?” Emmett waited, dying for details. “I guess I’m bisexual Em, only I didn’t know it.” “What makes you say that,” Emmett asked, getting serious now, knowing how important this was to Gus. “I’m crazy attracted to this guy. He’s on my mind, day and night. I can’t stop thinking about him,” Gus said, mortified that his cheeks were turning beet red. “Have you had sex?” Emmett asked, noting Gus’ discomfort. “Not exactly,” Gus replied. “Honey, that’s like saying you’re a little bit pregnant. What exactly do you mean by ‘not exactly’.” “He’s done things to me, I haven’t reciprocated,” Gus said, bending his head and looking down at the floor. “You let him blow you,” Emmett said. Gus nodded, still unable to look him in the eye. Emmett reached over and gently put his hand on Gus’ face, lifting it so he could look at Gus and reassure him. “Its okay, Gus. I really do understand how it is.” “How could you?” Gus asked, his eyes looking haunted and confused. “You’ve never been in the closet.” “But I was with a closet queen for many months. I know what Drew went through before he came out. I felt every moment of his anxiety and pain.” “I’ve heard some of this story from ‘DJ’, but not all of it. Can you share it with me?” Gus asked. “Of course, sweetie,” Emmett replied, and he proceeded to tell Gus all about Drew Boyd, their meeting, his unexpected attraction to Emmett, their secret affair, his denial and subsequent exposure, the divorce and all the drama of those days that had the entire sports world in a major uproar. “So he was straight for years, until you came along?” “Well, he thought he was straight, but deep down inside he was Gay as blazes,” Emmett said with a sad smile. “And how did it end?” Gus asked. “Not well. He finally came out and after the initial shock and dealing with the fallout, he really got into the whole Gay scene and started fucking anything that moved. I couldn’t deal with it so I let him go.” “That must have been very hard for you,” Gus said, looking at Emmett with a whole new respect. Emmett had always struck him as a big flamer, always over the top and very much the drag queen in many ways. Gus had never really taken the time to look through that façade and see the real man underneath the glitter; the man sitting in front of him who was intelligent and successful, but most of all, generous and loving and a very good friend. “It was a nightmare,” Emmett conceded. “But I survived, and then I met the love of my life. I would have never been ready for Max if I hadn’t experienced everything I did with Drew. Max and I were just meant to be. It was Karma.” “Karma,” Gus said, smiling. “We use that word a lot in our house.” “I know sweetie,” Emmett answered, “I’m the one that got Justin into the whole Buddhism thing.” “Right. So, do you think Aedan and I are having some sort of Karmic collision?” “Well, I don’t know about the collision part, but it does sound like you were certainly meant to hook up with him. I mean, what are the odds of you meeting at Babylon that one night when you never, ever go there? I mean, how weird is that?” “Thank you!” Gus said. “That’s what I’ve been telling myself for weeks now. And what are the odds that I even let him near me? Why am I not grossed out by him in any way, shape or form? That the thought of him kissing me makes me want to come in my pants, that all I can think of is his mouth on my cock? How can I be more attracted to this man than I’ve ever been to any woman I’ve ever known?” “Oh honey,” Emmett said, reaching out for Gus’ hand and giving him a tight squeeze. “You’ve got it really bad for this guy.” “Tell me about it,” Gus moaned, leaning his head back on the sofa. “I’m obsessed!” “And is he, with you?” Gus showed Emmett his cell phone, and he clicked on calls received and showed 18 calls from Aedan in the last three days. “Well, that certainly answered that question. Obviously, you have a thing for each other, and I think it should be explored,” Emmett announced. “I’m more than happy to explore, Em. I just need some direction here. I’m like a fish out of water, I don’t quite know which end is up,” Gus said, looking into Emmett’s eyes, imploring him for some basic help in the world of gay sex. “Honey, you have come to the right source. Now, sit back and let Dr. Honeycutt tell you a thing or two,” Emmett said, pushing Gus back against the sofa, and proceeding to lecture him on all aspects of male on male sex. When he was done, Gus sat there with his mouth open, not saying one word. “Gus, say something,” Emmett said. “Are you freaking out on me?” “No, I’m not. I just don’t know if I can do any of that. Until I met Aedan, I never thought of men in a sexual way. I don’t know where this is all coming from Em. Do you have any idea how fucked up this is?” “Did you ever think you could kiss a man before this happened with Aedan?” “No.” “And if some guy at school or at work had tried to touch your dick, let alone suck it, what would you have done?” “Punched his lights out,” Gus replied without hesitating. “And yet?” “I know, I know,” Gus said, running his hand through his hair, and then leaning back on the sofa. “I don’t get it either and it’s driving me crazy. How can this be possible? All my life I’ve been straight, I’ve always been attracted to women, then all of a sudden, out of fucking nowhere, I’m attracted to this guy. And I don’t mean every guy. He’s the only one I want, Em. Is this not insane? Maybe I’m having a psychotic break here and I don’t know it.” “Honey, the only thing crazy about you is that you seem to be crazy in love. Sometimes these things happen. It’s rare for someone straight to all of a sudden be attracted to someone of the same sex, but it’s not unheard of. There are some people that are genuinely bisexual, not just hiding behind that façade to avoid coming out.” “What do you mean?” Gus asked, perplexed by that statement. “A lot of ‘straight’ men call themselves bi when in actuality they’re gayer then a pride parade. They’re either too scared to come out or in a position at work where admitting their sexual preferences would destroy them. So they walk around saying they’re bi, but we know better. More like ‘bi now, gay later’ is what we call them,” Emmett said, a little bitchiness creeping into his voice. “Do you think I’m like that?” Gus asked, his eyes pooling with liquid, turning greener by the minute. “No, Gus, I don’t. You have no reason to deny who you are. Your parents would have readily accepted you, gay or straight. The thing is you have never shown an inclination towards men so your family has treated you like a straight man. None of us knew you were bi.” “Yeah, it’s such a mystery, even I didn’t know about it. Do you have any idea how messed up this is?” “I’m sure that it’s confusing as hell right now, Gus, but the attraction you feel for this guy is undeniable. I’ve been told that a true bisexual will see himself as primarily straight or homo, depending on what they started out as, but then something will change and they will be attracted to a member of the same sex. And I don’t mean anyone. It’s usually one specific person that will cause the shift in interest and many times it never happens again. The reason I know this is because I researched this to death when I was involved with Drew. I wanted to try and understand him and help him through his crisis, however in Drew’s case, there was no bisexuality. The man was queer, he was just too afraid to admit.” “But he did, eventually,” Gus said. “Yes, he did,” Emmett replied, placing his hand on Gus’ arm. “But that was then and this is now. What’s important to me is your mental health and how you are dealing with this. I’ve got to meet this man and see for myself what he’s all about.” “Stick around, Em. He should be here in another half hour or so.” Gus said. Emmett looked at Gus and was so reminded of a young Brian. They looked like twins for one thing, but the sarcasm and edginess was the same. It was never there before, but since his divorce, Gus looked and acted more and more like a Kinney. “I’d love to stay sweetie, but I can’t. Max is expecting me for dinner and I don’t want to disappoint him. I’m sure I’ll meet Aedan another time.” “Whatever,” Gus said, getting up and walking over to the counter to pour himself another glass of wine. “Have you told Brian any of this?” Emmett asked. “No,” Gus replied, emphatically. “And you’d better not either. I don’t want to spoil their holiday. It’s taken DJ forever to convince Dad to get away, the last thing I want is for him to come rushing back here to rescue me.” “What makes you think he’ll want to ‘rescue’ you?” Emmett asked a little confused. “Because he’s my Dad and he’s always wanted things to be perfect for me.” “And who’s to say this isn’t?” Emmett asked. “It’s my call Em, don’t go there, please. I need to do this my way and when I’m ready, I’ll tell him and DJ. They’ll probably need to see Daphne as patients for a whole year after that.” “You give your fathers very little credit Gus. They are not ordinary people. They are both exceptional in their own way. I think you’ll be more than surprised by their reaction to this bit of news.” “Maybe so, Em, but until I know where I’m going with this, and I’m comfortable in my new-found skin, I don’t want them to know. Or my mothers for that matter. They would definitely have a break down. I can just hear my Mom, whining about lost grandchildren.” “Okay sweetie, whatever you say. Promise me one thing though?” “What’s that?” “Call me anytime you need to talk. About anything. Whether it’s the color of his eyes or butt plugs, you need to know that I’m here for you, okay?” “Thanks Em. I really appreciate that. I didn’t know where to turn or who to talk to. It’s such a relief getting this out in the open.” “No problem sweetie. You know Max and I love you like a son. I’ve watched you grow up, Gus. Your best interests are always in my heart. You must know that.” Gus reached for Emmett and hugged him, knowing that he had done the right thing by asking for his help. Now he could only hope that all his other decisions would be just as good. TBC