Chapter 3
Gus woke up to the sound of pots and pans banging. His mouth felt like he had swallowed a pound of sand and he needed to pee desperately. He sat up in the strange bed, instantly lying back down again and covering his ears with a pillow to try and shut out the sounds that were coming from the outside. Every clank reverberated in his head, as if the kitchen symphony was in his brain rather than outside.
He moved his legs off the bed, noting that someone had taken off all his clothes, leaving his underwear on and nothing else.
Where the fuck am I, he thought to himself.
He staggered up and made his way out the door and saw another door in the hallway close by. He opened it and was relieved to find a bathroom. He stood over the toilet for a good three minutes, relieving himself of at least two gallons of liquid. Probably two entire bottles of Beam, he thought to himself wryly. Finally he was done and he made his way over to the sink to rinse off his face and try and get his mouth to feel better than the inside of his old gym shoes.
He looked around for some mouthwash and toothpaste and after spying the needed products, he used his fingers to do some semblance of oral hygiene.
He splashed water on his face and finally looked in the mirror. The eyes that stared back at him were red with lack of sleep and still hung over from the endless drinks he had downed last night. He had lost count after a certain point. In fact, he didn’t remember much of anything after the music started and he stepped out on the dance floor. He remembered going to Babylon on a whim and standing at the entrance, taking in the heaving mass of half-naked men on the dance floor. He remembered people staring at him and his discomfort, and then standing at the bar asking for a Scotch.
Everything after that was fuzzy. He supposed he should go outside and find out where the hell he was, or who the hell he was with. Somehow he wasn’t quite prepared to face that. God only knew what he had done to himself.
Bracing for the worst, he opened the door and followed the noise down the hallway and into the kitchen. He saw Max standing over the kitchen counter beating something in the green bowl in his hand and Emmett sitting at the kitchen table sipping his coffee and reading the paper. Both of them looked up when he walked in.
“Oh, thank God,” Gus said when he saw them, “It’s you guys.”
He made his way over to the pot of coffee and grabbed a cup off the mug tree beside it.
“Sugar is to your left and there’s cream in the fridge,” Max said, knowing exactly how Gus drank his coffee.
“Thanks, man,” Gus replied.
“No problem.”
He finished fixing up his coffee and moved over to the table where Emmett sat. He pulled out a chair and heaved his semi-nude body into it.
“Are you cold, Gus? Would you like a robe?” Emmett asked.
“No, I’m fine. I just need about four more cups of caffeine and three aspirin. You got any? Aspirin, I mean?”
“Sure, honey, let me get you the bottle.”
Emmett stood up and took off his reading glasses and went down the hallway to the bathroom. He was back in an instant with the bottle of Bayer and handed it to Gus. He watched as Gus shook out 3 pills onto his hand and shoved them in his mouth, washing them down with the coffee, making a face as they made their way down his parched throat.
“Okay,” Gus said. “Tell me how I got here.”
“We brought you home. You were pretty out of it and we thought it would be best if you didn’t drive,” Emmett said, diplomatically.
His partner, however, had no qualms and said, “What the fuck were you doing in Babylon, Gus?”
Surprised at Max’s tone of voice, Gus looked at him and was instantly defensive.
“I don’t recall ever having to ask your permission to go anywhere,” Gus replied, coldness seeping into his eyes. His body language had shifted and he sat poised on his chair like a bird ready to take off.
Emmett put his hand on Gus’ and said gently, “Max didn’t mean anything by that question, Gus. We’re just concerned and if we hadn’t been there, who knows what may have happened.”
“What do you mean?” Gus asked, looking from one to the other.
“You were on your way out the door with some guy that had latched on to you in the backroom,” Max said quietly, looking at Gus. He had met him years ago when he was barely sixteen and he definitely felt some sort of fatherly affection for the boy. He was sorry that he had been so blunt with his initial questioning but he was sincerely worried about him.
“What was I doing in the backroom? And what is that, exactly?” Gus asked.
“Oh Jesus,” Emmett answered.
“It’s the room at the club where people go with their pick of the night and usually get a blowjob or more, depending on who it is,” Max said.
“You’re kidding, right?” Gus said. “I was in the back room?”
“Apparently,” Max replied, waiting for Gus’ reaction.
“Well, I’m sure nothing happened. I would have remembered,” Gus said emphatically.
“I don’t know, honey,” Emmett said gently, putting his hand on Gus’ again. “You were pretty out of it.”
“I would remember, Em. I’m sure nothing happened,” Gus said, looking at Emmett, daring him to contradict.
“What were you doing at Babylon in the first place Gus?” Max asked, gentler now, as if he were talking to a child rather than a grown man.
“I don’t know. I was bored. I wasn’t interested in dealing with whiny women so I thought I’d try something different,” Gus said, staring at his father’s friends, waiting to see their reaction.
“Honey, I’m all for walking on the dark side occasionally, but, you aren’t gay, Gus. What made you want to try that?” Emmett asked.
“How do you know I’m not gay? Maybe I am, I’ve just never explored it. Maybe that’s why I’ve made such a mess of my life.”
Max rolled his eyes and looked Gus in the face. “Gus, you aren’t.”
“Yeah, well maybe I want to be,” Gus answered.
Max and Emmett looked at him, stunned into silence. They watched as Gus stood up and looked at them, saying, “All my life, I just assumed I was straight and everyone else did as well. Being Gay was just a word to me. I never really thought about it because I never had to. My parents love each other and are happy and committed to their relationships. It’s something I’ve been around all my life and seeing two women and two men kiss each other and be affectionate towards one another was never repulsive to me. It seemed natural and not at all abnormal. Their loving relationship is what I hoped to find in my life. I didn’t, and now I’m wondering if it’s because I just picked the wrong gender. Maybe I am my father’s son, in the true sense of the word.”
Max looked at Gus and asked him, “Let me ask you something Gus. When you lie in bed at night with a boner, do you think of men or women? Does the thought of a man coming down your throat really turn you on?”
“Max!” Emmett said, shocked at the question.
Gus looked at Max, disgusted with the way the whole conversation was going.
“You know what?” Gus said, his voice changing once more, getting edgier. “I’d like to leave, if you don’t mind. I don’t want to discuss this anymore, and I’d appreciate it if you said nothing to my father. Can someone take me to my car?”
Max stepped forward and reached out to Gus, holding him on his arm, trying to get him to relax, to no avail. “We’re just trying to help, Gus. Not judging.”
“The fuck you’re not!” Gus spat out.
Emmett sighed, really upset that this conversation had turned to shit so quickly. “I’ll take you to your car, honey. Your clothes are in the room, draped over the chair beside the bed.”
“Thanks,” Gus said, stalking out of the room.
“Well,” Max said looking at Emmett. “That went well.”
“You were too hard on him Max. He’s freaking.”
“Someone had to be Em. If Brian were here it would have been a lot worse.”
“Yeah, well he’s not here and you know what? The boy needs people to talk to right now, not people judging him.”
“I wasn’t judging,” Max answered back angrily.
“Yes you were.”
“I wasn’t,” Max said again, trying to convince Emmett.
“Whatever Max. Let’s talk about this later. I just want to get him to his car and home safe and sound, okay?”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Max asked.
“No,” Emmett replied. “I think I’d like to be alone with him, if you don’t mind.”
In the car, Gus was silent for most of the way. Emmett attempted to make small talk but was met with monosyllabic answers. Finally, they pulled into the parking lot at Babylon and just before Gus got out of the car, Emmett reached for him.
“Gus, please don’t be upset at Max. He and I really care about you and are worried.”
“Since when did someone’s homosexuality become a source of worry for you?” Gus asked, looking at Emmett with Brian’s raised eyebrow.
“Since the person who is talking is obviously straight,” Emmett said gently.
“You are assuming I am. I did too, but I’m willing to explore other venues for myself. Why are you having such issues with this?”
“Gus, my flame has burned brightly all my life. I have no problem with you lighting yours, if it’s truly there. I just don’t believe it is. You’ve just exited a heart-breaking relationship and your pendulum is swinging completely over to the other side. I honestly think you are over-reacting and should completely ditch this whole idea.”
“Then let me ask you something, Em? Why did I get hard last night when I was with that guy? I remember him kissing me and I remember wanting to touch him. Is that the reaction of someone straight?” Gus asked, looking for an answer. “Maybe I’m bi-sexual. Has that ever occurred to you?”
Emmett looked at Gus and said, “Gus, last night you were drunk out of your mind. Anyone would have made you hard. You’re young and healthy and a bottle rubbed up against your dick would have done the job. I want you to tell me how you feel, being with a man in the bright light of day, when you are stone-cold sober. If you still feel this way, then maybe I’m wrong and we should talk.”
Gus reached over and embraced Emmett. “Thanks for taking care of me last night, Em. Tell Max too.” He got out of the car and made his way over to his. He watched as Emmett waved good-bye and made his way out of the parking lot.
Gus noticed a white business card stuck underneath his wiper and he pulled it out and looked at it. The card read, Aedan Hughes, PHD, Layton Pharmaceuticals. He turned it over and scribbled on the back was a sentence. “If you change your mind, call me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Justin and Sasha had spent most of the day at the Academy of Fine Arts, soaking up all the magnificent paintings and sculptures. They had sat in front of Michelangelo’s David for hours, sketching and discussing every curve and indentation of the beautiful marble statue.
It was almost four o’clock when Justin looked at his watch and he told Sasha to start putting her sketch pad away as they had to meet up with Brian and Sorina at the Piazza della Signoria. They had agreed to meet at four-thirty so that they could spend the rest of the afternoon and evening together.
“Do we have to go?” Sasha asked.
Justin looked at his daughter and smiled. She had been so caught up in her drawing, completely engrossed in the task at hand. She was very much like him in that respect. When he got caught up in a project and his muse was in full gear he was oblivious to everything and everyone around him. He took the sketch pad from her and went through the different pages that she had finished today, noting that her technique was improving with each one and that she was really applying most of what she had learned at his hands in the last few months.
“These are really quite good Sasha. We’ll have to discuss them some more later, but they are very good preliminaries.
“Thanks Daddy,” Sasha said, her normally serious face lighting up with the compliment.
Justin cupped her face with his hand and bent down and kissed her on the cheek. “You are welcome, sweetheart. You’re getting better each day and I am so proud of you.”
Basking in the glow of her father’s praise, Sasha picked up all her supplies, slung her backpack over her shoulder and took Justin by the hand as they made their way out the building.
The sun was shining brightly and the cobbled streets were bustling with tourists and residents. It was early June and the weather was perfect. Not too hot and there was a slight breeze in the air.
“Are you hungry?” Justin asked, as they walked toward the designated meeting spot.
“A little bit,” Sasha replied. “I wouldn’t mind having an ice cream and one of those wafers that they always serve with them. They are soooo good,” she said, rolling her eyes for effect.
Justin laughed and said, “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind some myself. I had this flavor called Coppa Mista the other day and it was soooooo good,” he said to his daughter in the same drawn out voice.
Sasha smiled when she heard that. “What flavor is that?”
“It’s a combination of Pistachio, Chocolate and Vanilla. All mixed in one. I love it!”
“I don’t like mixing things. I need to savor each flavor by itself. One at a time,” Sasha said.
“You’re a purist, sweetie. But that’s okay. A lot of people don’t like mixing. I do,” Justin said.
“Does Dad?”
Justin instantly thought about the ice cream kisses he and Brian had shared so many years ago. “I’m not so sure about other foods, but I know he doesn’t mind mixing ice cream with different things.”
They had reached their destination. It was a little coffee shop with tables that spilled out into the Piazza and Brian and Sorina were already sitting. There were shopping bags scattered all around them.
“Is there anything left in Florence to buy”? Justin asked, as he bent down to kiss Brian on the lips. He moved over to Sorina and buzzed her cheek and then sat down across from Brian.
“I will have you know that Sorina and I were very good and only bought a few things,” Brian said seriously.
Justin looked at all the bags on the floor and said, “Yeah, right.”
“Really, Daddy,” Sorina piped up. “Dad and I got two things each and we bought two things for you and for Sasha. We all have something pretty.”
“What’d you get Sorina?” Justin asked.
“I got a new pink hoodie with Florence written across it in white appliqué. Sash, I got you one too, but yours is white with pink letters.”
“Can I see it?” Sasha asked.
“Sure,” Sorina replied as she dug into the bag and brought out the top.
“I love it,” Sasha said, admiring the sweatshirt. “What else did I get?”
“We got beautiful gold bracelets that have our names inscribed on a little oval tag and Dad said we can each buy charms in every city we visit and add them to the bracelet. Isn’t that cool?” Sorina said, showing Sasha her bracelet.
Brian reached into a bag and brought out a small box and opened it, taking the bracelet out and fastening it around Sasha’s wrist.
“Do you like it?” he asked Sasha.
“It’s beautiful, Dad. Thank you,” she said, reaching up for Brian and kissing him on the cheek.
Her entire demeanor was the mirror opposite of Sorina’s. Where one sister was calm and cool and quite reserved, the other was a total extrovert, perky and lit up all day long. Sorina didn’t know the meaning of the word subdued. She always sparkled and one couldn’t help but smile when talking to her.
Brian watched the girls as they admired each other’s bracelet, enjoying their enthusiasm. He loved looking at them, always seeing bits and pieces of Daphne and Justin. It was uncanny how much Sorina resembled her father. Brian was absolutely enthralled by the child and could look at her for hours. She reminded him so much of a young Justin, he couldn’t help but have a soft spot for her.
His relationship with Sasha was entirely different. It was more mental than emotional. She was much more like Daphne than Justin; more level-headed and methodical in everything she did. She was highly intelligent, both sisters were, but Sorina used her heart much more than her head. Sasha was a lot more predictable, never straying very far from a plan. Her world was quite regimented, something she did instinctively, but she also had that artistic side which softened her a little and made her more approachable.
“Are you guy’s hungry?” Brian asked.
“We both want some ice cream,” Justin replied.
“I’m sure that won’t be a problem,” Brian said, raising his arm and signaling the waiter.
“Dad, do you like ice creams that are mixed with other flavors or do you like them plain?” Sasha asked Brian.
Brian looked at Justin and smiled. “I like ice cream mixed with lots of things, Sasha. How about you?”
“Plain.”
“I like ice cream with chocolate syrup,” Sorina piped in.
“Chocolate is good on anything,” Justin answered as the waiter brought them the menu. “I would like 2 scoops of Coppa Mista, in a cup.”
“I want Vanilla with chocolate syrup, please,” Sorina said.
“Brian?” Justin asked.
“I’ll pass; saving the calories for dinner.”
“You’re no fun at all,” Justin said.
“I like my ice cream, Taylor-made,” Brian answered with a grin, enjoying the blush that instantly appeared on his partner’s face.
“What does that mean, Dad?” Sasha asked, confused by that statement.
“Ask your Daddy, Sasha.”
“Daddy?”
“Nothing, Sasha, it means absolutely nothing,” Justin replied, glaring at Brian. “What flavor would you like sweetie?”
“I think I’ll try the Strawberry.”
“Okay, one strawberry ice cream for my daughter, please,” Justin told the waiter.
“Grazie,” the waiter answered, taking away the menus.
They sat around making small talk, waiting for the ice cream dishes to be brought to their table. The outdoor café was in a big square filled with tourists and residents alike. There were shops all around them as well as street vendors, going around and peddling their wares, preying on tourists who sat at tables waiting for food or beverages. One in particular seemed to have her eye on their small group. She had her arms full of colored scarves and she came up to their table and asked them in halting English if they wanted to buy anything.
She was wearing a long red dress that had clearly seen better days. Her dark hair was wrapped in a matching red cloche and her eyes were dark with black pencil eyeliner and mascara. Her lips were wide and full, smeared with bright red lipstick, making her look obscene and garish.
The waiter came back with his tray full of crystal ice cream holders and he said something to the woman in Italian, in a not-too-friendly tone of voice. The woman looked at him and spat on the floor, saying a cuss word in another language.
Sorina gasped when she heard the word and Brian instantly noticed something was wrong and asked her what the problem was.
“She said a bad word in Russian, Dad,” Sorina whispered to him.
Both Sasha and Sorina were fluent in Russian, courtesy of the Cherny grandparents. The gypsy noted that Sorina had understood her and she started speaking in Russian while Sorina listened, wide-eyed. Finally, Sasha turned to Justin and said, “She would like to know if we want our fortunes told. She’s a gypsy and a fortune teller. Can we Daddy?”
“Oh please?” Sorina chimed in. “I want to know what my future is going to be.”
“That’s a bunch of bullshit girls. She just wants to take our money,” Brian replied coldly.
The woman rattled something off again and Sorina turned to Brian and said, “She says that if you let her read your palm, she won’t charge you.”
Brian rolled his eyes and Justin said, “Oh what harm can it do. Go ahead and let her, Brian.”
Brian stuck his hand out, irritated but willing to do this just to appease everyone. The gypsy stepped forward and took his hand in hers. She held it and closed her eyes then suddenly she opened them and started to speak.
She spoke softly, almost chanting, for a good three minutes. When she finished, Sasha said quietly, “She says that you are going to receive some bad news, something that will upset you.”
Brian rolled his eyes and said, “I don’t suppose she’s talking about the stock market, is she?”
“No Dad, she says it’s about a family member.”
“I told you it’s bullshit. Everyone in my family is just fine,” Brian replied. “Tell her to go away, Sasha,” Brian said, pulling his hand back.
The gypsy ignored Brian and took Sasha’s right hand in hers and then she reached for Sorina’s as well. She looked at their palms and started speaking in rapid fire Russian. Justin noticed that both girls were getting agitated and suddenly, Sorina burst into tears and pulled her hand back.
“What the hell did you say to them?” Justin asked the gypsy.
“Get her the fuck out of here,” Brian said to the waiter.
The waiter stepped forward and all but raised his hand as he threatened to call the police if the gypsy didn’t move. She started to laugh and then gave him the finger and walked away.
Meanwhile, Sorina continued to cry, only calming down when Brian took her and sat her on his lap. He put his arms around her and asked her what the woman had said to upset her so.
“First, she said that I am going to be famous one day. Me and Sasha,” Sorina said, wiping away her tears with a paper napkin that she had pulled off the table.
“Well, what’s wrong with that Princess? Everyone wants to be famous,” Brian said, gently rubbing her back.
“That’s not the bad part, Dad,” Sorina said, looking at Brian with her blue eyes shiny with tears. “She said that someone was going to need my help, but I wouldn’t be able to help because I’m too far away, or too young, I’m not sure which. I couldn’t understand her very well because her Russian was different from Babushka’s and she was talking too fast.”
“Did you get any of it, Sasha?” Brian asked.
“I think she was trying to say that Sorina would not be able to help because of time, not her age. I believe that what she meant was there wasn’t enough time,” Sasha said, knitting her brows and replaying the whole conversation in her head.
“Time?” Justin said. “None of this makes any sense and I think we should just forget about it. I’m sorry you guys had to go through any of this. It was my idea and it was a dumb one.”
“Oh well,” Brian said, kissing Sorina on the cheek and moving her off his lap. “Nothing bad is going to happen. Your Daddy and I won’t let it, so you get all those thoughts out of your head. Just think about the famous statement. Maybe you’re going to grow up and become president one day,” Brian said, turning to Sasha and tugging on her hair affectionately.
“I doubt it,” she said, looking exactly like Daphne. “I hate politics.”
Brian and Justin busted out laughing when they heard that. They all stood at once and picked up their shopping bags and headed on back to the hotel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was Sunday night at the loft and Gus had finally gotten rid of the headache that had plagued him all weekend. He knew that a large part of it was all the liquor he had consumed on Friday night, but a major part of the headache came from the shock of what had happened at Babylon.
He kept thinking about what he had done. It had all started as a whim, a moment of hilarity that he had conjured up to relieve his boredom. He had no idea that one moment of craziness would open up such a can of worms. What the hell had he done? Since when did the thought of being with another man even hold a candle to being with a woman?
His memories of that night kept coming back in flashes, like the strobe lights of Babylon. He’d be sitting watching baseball on TV one minute and the next minute he’d feel the guys body pressed up against him, the memory of his cologne, a combination of lemon and some woodsy thing, a presence as real as the painting hanging on his wall. He remembered darkness and fear, but he also remembered warm blue eyes that caressed him, making him feel safe and comfortable.
He thought about arms encircling his waist and the shock of being kissed on the mouth by another man. It was frightening yet intensely erotic at the same time. The rest of the memories were vague and lost in the haze of the boozy night. What stood out clearly was the undeniable fact that he had been sexually attracted to another man. This is what was giving him such a headache. Not the hangover or the lack of sleep. What was causing him such pain and torment was the realization that there was a side to him that he had never explored before but that was evidently a part of his genetic make-up, heretofore dormant and untouched.
He stood up abruptly and made his way over to the kitchen to get a drink. On the way there he passed the semi-circular table that housed the small statue of Buddha sitting on the sandal wood pedestal. There was a small candle in a crystal votive in front of it and several sticks of incense.
Justin had given it to him long ago when he explained the basic principles of Buddhism, not imposing his beliefs, only sharing them to see if they made any sense to Gus and could possibly help in his life. Parts of it had, and other parts had not, but the statue had always been close by, a symbol of peace and tranquility, something he turned to when he was troubled.
Hanging on the wall above the Buddha was a cloth, encased in a glass frame. On the fabric were words embroidered in gold silk thread, probably a labor of love by some ancient Monk years ago. The words read, Peace and Harmony. When you find yourself confused and unbalanced, take a moment, breath deeply and be still. Your inner voice will focus on what needs to be shifted. You can then move on with your day in peace and harmony.
Gus stopped and reached for the box of matches and lit the candle. He then sat on the floor and crossed his legs in the classic lotus position, shut his eyes and began chanting the mantra that Justin had taught him years ago.
TBC