Karma is a more reasonable concept than eternal damnation for the wicked. Spirituality or a belief that virtue is rewarded and sin creates suffering eventually leads to a belief in Karma. Chapter 8 Max stood in his apartment in front of the mirror, preening, trying to decide what hot shirt he should wear tonight. He had picked and discarded several, throwing all the rejects on the floor. There was a small pile that he would eventually have to pick up but he couldn’t care less at this point. Right now all he wanted to do was find something that would make him look good. He needed to get laid. It had been too long and he realized how horny he was when he happened to catch Brian and Justin going at it this afternoon by the pool. They had no idea he could see them and he really wasn’t into voyeurism, but he couldn’t help watching in fascination as he stood over the sink peeling potatoes. He couldn’t actually see what Brian was doing, but he knew his hands were real busy under the towel and that they were making Justin crazy. When he saw Justin wrapping his arms around Brian’s neck and squeezing tight, Max knew that Justin had just come and his own erection was a painful reminder that he needed to go out and get fucked. His forced celibacy was going to end, tonight! He finally decided on a black t-shirt that looked like it was painted on him. It had white piping around the collar and a white stripe down one sleeve. Max had bought it a few weeks ago when he had been in town to do some shopping for Justin, a side job that he did occasionally whenever Justin decided he needed something new to wear. Justin hated clothes shopping; it was a very un-Gay characteristic of his. Max never knew anyone else who hated shopping as much as Justin. He would listen to Brian chastising him about his clothes and the pitiful state they were in and Justin would just roll his eyes and give Max his credit card, telling him to go get some new shirts and pants so Brian would stop queening. It was really funny because Justin loved it when Max brought him the new clothes. He liked to dress and look nice for Brian, he just didn’t like the time it took to get the end results. He hated the crowds and the waiting. So he sent other people, or he had the stores send clothes to the house so he could pick out some outfits and send the rest back. Once he got into his studio and got caught up in an art project, everything else stopped. He would get into a painting frenzy and have little time to stop and go to the bathroom, much less go clothes shopping; which was fine with Max. He loved to shop! Especially when he could spend other people’s money and buy pricey outfits that he had only seen in magazines. If cooking had not been such a passion, he would have chosen a career as a personal shopper. He had been well-honed in the art by a mother and sister who knew every store on the Magnificent Mile in Chicago. Max looked at himself in the mirror and finally approved. He saw a tall, well proportioned brunette with a small waist, tight abs, and muscles on his arms and back that were easily outlined by the t-shirt that was stretched to its maximum. His hair had big, soft curls and he wore it long, because it suited him better. His eyes were a warm brown, surrounded by dark eyelashes long enough to cause immediate envy by every woman he had ever known. His mouth was wide with full lips that easily stretched into a beautiful smile showing off the perfectly straight, white teeth that his parents had paid six-thousand dollars in orthodontic work for. He knew he was quite beautiful and a definite head turner, however, he wasn’t the kind of cocky hot stud that roamed the back rooms, expecting men to throw themselves at his feet. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Max Steiner was almost insecure when it came to relationships. Sure, he could be charming and gregarious with customers he waited on and he was not afraid to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but when it came to prowling the back rooms of Gay bars or sizing up a trick and making a move, he was rather timid. He had to think long and hard before he was willing to risk a rejection or have someone turn around and look away. He supposed it had to do with all those years in Chicago where he had to hide his sexuality. He never knew which one of the men standing at a bar was a friend of the family so he was very tentative about walking up to someone and propositioning them. He’d only had one real relationship in his thirty years of existence and that was short-lived. Neil had been a neighbor in Skokie; they had lived beside each other for years and went to all the same schools. They were both Jewish and knew that their parents would react in horror if they ever found out they were Gay. They discovered their sexuality one night when their parents were at a party and had left the two teenagers alone to baby-sit Max’s sister and brother, Andie and Ari. Both kids were well behaved and shortly after dinner they were put to bed without much fuss. This left Max and Neil with nothing to do but watch television and try to entertain themselves. They happened to have cable TV, and after figuring out how to disable the parental locks, they stumbled upon an old series that had aired in the early 2000’s. It was called, ‘Gay As Blazes’, and starred the most gorgeous men they had ever seen. By the end of the hour, they both had boners that needed immediate attending to. When each one of them noticed that they were sexually attracted to the male characters on TV, they realized that they had yet another thing in common. Their initial fumbling was awkward and over before they knew it. However, after that and through the next year of high school and one more of college, they continued to meet clandestinely and jerk each other off, graduating eventually to blow jobs, but neither one of them dared to put on a condom or get fucked. That would have been too daring for them and a true confirmation of their homosexuality. What they were doing to that point could still be written off as playing and experimentation. After he and Neil had moved away from each other, Max’s life got caught up in the business of learning his trade and dealing with his parents and his choices. There wasn’t much time for him to meet or get involved with anyone. He had many more one night stands and he had actually graduated to fucking but it all seemed emotionless and mechanical and cold. Being with strangers was not his idea of a good time. Sure, he needed to get off, and an orgasm was an orgasm, but what he was looking for was that elusive thing called love that he had only read about. He wanted to believe that having a relationship with another man was possible, a true relationship built on trust, commitment and mutual respect. He had not believed such a thing was possible between two Gay men until he met Brian and Justin two years ago. They were a wonderful surprise for him. They were everything he hoped to find one day and seeing them love each other daily was so heart warming; it was a goal that he now knew was attainable. It would be possible to find it; he just had to look long and hard. He had no idea how long or how difficult it had been for Brian and Justin to get to this point. All the drama of their relationship had been over long before Max came along. What he was seeing was the end result which would have been a cause of envy for anyone. Another reason he was not into prowling the back rooms was that his parents had instilled a very real fear of HIV into him; telling him all the horror stories, making him watch the videos, seeing the movie Philadelphia over and over again. He was rabidly afraid of unsafe sex, always carrying condoms and never, ever being lax or careless. Although he wanted to be in a relationship he was not willing to kiss a million frogs till he found his prince. Men were throwing themselves at him all the time because he was so attractive but he preferred to watch and wait, hitting the bars only when the physical need became too much. The quest for the right guy and the right time had become his obsession. He refused to compromise. He wanted everything to be just right. In the meantime, he consoled himself with the occasional one night stand. Tonight would definitely be one of those nights. He didn’t care where or who with, so long as the mouth was warm and could suck like a Hoover. He decided to go to Babylon even though he rarely frequented the place, because Brian owned it. He had no desire for his employer to know anything about his sex life so he usually stayed clear of that club. Tonight though, he was in the mood for a bigger and better choice. He had heard that the men who frequented Babylon were older and wealthier. They were, for the most part, the upper class of the Gay world in Pittsburgh. At some point Babylon had evolved from being the meat market it used to be long ago to what it was now. He supposed it had to do with Brian’s ownership and his knack for turning everything he touched into the best and the most in demand. The entrance fee was three times higher than other clubs, but the liquor served was always top shelf. Regular patrons were watched by security and were never allowed to drive home if they were too drunk or a little too high. There was a fleet of limos that Brian kept on standby for this purpose alone. There was a dress code now and fucking in public was frowned upon. The back room had been converted into several private rooms where one could go for intimate moments, if the need arose. This alleviated the problem of public displays. All in all, Babylon had evolved into a men’s club where one could go to have fun and meet other Gay men who were successful and had disposable incomes in the five figure range. One could go there and feel safe. Max walked through the doors to the comforting sound of the thumpa-thumpa that never seemed to change. He quickly scanned the place and he saw a few men that might prove interesting. He could feel the eyes on him as he walked across the room towards the bar. He was fresh meat, a new body, and a very beautiful one at that. He knew he looked good tonight and he hoped his mission would be successful. He asked for tequila when he got to the bar and he turned to watch the dancing crowd. To his right stood an older guy, good looking in a wholesome, non-descript way, holding a Cosmopolitan in one hand. He had the body of much younger man, judging by the bulge of his biceps straining through his deep purple cashmere Missoni sweater. He was definitely a queen but a very dignified one. His well cut gray woolen pants fell perfectly down his very long legs to break nicely on his black Prada loafers. Max had the ability to recognize labels a mile away. It was another one of the secret traits that he had picked up from his mother and sister on their endless shopping sprees. He could feel the guy checking him out and finally he felt a soft hand on his arm. “I’d like to buy you a drink, if you are so inclined?” Max looked at him, amused that someone would even know the meaning of the word, ‘inclined’, let alone use it, in this day and age. The face that looked at him was open and disarming. He had blue eyes that sparkled, an upturned nose, and when he smiled there was a very slight gap between his two front teeth that was really rather cute and enhanced his boyish look. His light brown hair was receding but thankfully he had not resorted to the dreaded comb-over that was so repulsive. This guy seemed to be very comfortable in his skin. “Sure,” Max said, turning on his full charm. “Excellent! What would you like?” “Well, I just had a shot of tequila, so I think I’ll stick to that for now.” “Fine with me,” the man said, in a lilting, barely noticeable southern accent. “My name is Emmett, by the way, Emmett Honeycutt.” “Max Steiner,” he said, reaching his hand out to shake Emmett’s. He was surprised by the strength of the other man’s grip; he had expected a limp wrist but got the complete opposite. “Are you new in town?” Emmett asked. Where the fuck did he come from? “No, I’ve been around for a couple of years now, I just don’t get out much,” Max laughed, looking a little embarrassed by that admission. “Honey, you must be Pittsburgh’s best kept secret, because I know everyone in this town and I certainly would have heard about you.” Emmett said, staring at brown eyes, fringed by the most incredible eyelashes he had ever seen. Max smiled at him as they continued to check each other out. “I’ve been really busy with my new job,” Max said. “I haven’t had much time to socialize.” “That is unfortunate for you,” Emmett said seductively, “But lucky for me, because if I haven’t heard of you, Honey, no one else has.” “I guess not,” Max said, flashing Emmett his beautiful smile. Holy shit, the man is gorgeous! “What do you do, Max?” “I’m a chef.” “No way!” Emmett said. Now he was very intrigued, because in his line of work he knew every chef in the greater Pittsburgh area and beyond that. How was it that he had not heard of this guy? “Well, now I really am curious,” he said out loud. “Where do you work?” “I don’t work in a restaurant. I work for an individual family, as their private chef.” “Well, that explains it then, because if you worked in a restaurant I’m sure our paths would have crossed before this.” “Why?” Max asked. “What do you do?” “I’m a party planner. I own ‘Fabulous’, Pittsburgh’s premier party planning company,” Emmett said proudly. “I’ve heard of it” Max said. “I think my bosses use your company for their business functions.” “Who do you work for?” Emmett asked. “Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor,” Max said, wetting his lips, licking off the salt that clung there from the shot glass. Emmett’s stomach dropped about two feet, first when he heard who Max worked for and secondly when he watched Max’s tongue licking at his lips, turning his mouth into a wet, shiny oasis that he was dying to take a drink out from. “So, you are the amazing chef that Brian found in Chicago,” Emmett said, unable to take his eyes off of Max. “Now I know why I’ve never met you; he’s been hiding you away at Britin Manor, all to himself.” “You know him,” Max said, alarmed that his life and Brian’s would somehow intersect again. “Honey, everybody knows Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor, but don’t you worry your little head about it, what you do on your own time is really none of their business, unless you want it to be?” Emmett said. “No,” Max said emphatically. “What I do after work is my business, and no one else’s.” “Then I say, put your glass down, and you’re dancing shoes on, and let’s party,” Emmett said, smiling broadly. Max felt Emmett put his hand on his back and gently push him out towards the dance floor. They joined the throng of bodies and began the familiar ritual, moving and swaying to the music, checking out each other’s bodies, trying to decide how soon to make the move that would lead them to their ultimate goal. Max noticed what an amazing dancer Emmett was. He had great rhythm and moves that were difficult for anyone less accomplished. He certainly didn’t act like any older guy that Max had ever met. He wondered exactly how old he really was? Probably Brian’s age, he thought. Emmett couldn’t take his eyes off the young man in front of him. He was the spitting image of John Kennedy, the year they had put him on the cover of people magazine as the world’s sexiest man. He was also quietly confident and charmingly unaffected by his beauty, a quality that Emmett found hard to resist. They continued dancing, getting closer to each other. Soon Emmett had Max in his arms as they moved on to stage two of the mating game. He fit quite nicely, tall enough to look him in the eye, yet not over powering him in any way. He could feel Max’s muscles through the thin t-shirt. He was tight and wiry in all the right places, yet graceful and pliant at the same time, able to follow most of Emmett’s moves, willing to be led and not being pushy or trying to assert himself. This guy was definitely a top, Emmett thought, but tonight he was acting like a bottom. Emmett could feel his heart racing, not from over-exertion; he was in excellent physical shape for a thirty-nine year old. His heart was racing with the anticipation of what lay ahead tonight. He could feel the mutual attraction, the spark was definitely growing into a huge flame and he sensed that Max was getting burned by the same fire. His eyes would close when Emmett pressed his face to his neck, inhaling the unique woodsy smell. Max’s cologne was definitely high end; maybe Prada or Gautier, Emmett wasn’t quite sure which yet. Whatever it was, it was making him crazy with desire. Emmett’s hands continued to play Max, moving up and down his arms and back, pulling him closer so that he could feel his groin against him and the unmistakable sign of his ever-growing interest. “Would you like to get out of here, and go somewhere more private?” Emmett whispered into Max’s ear. Max pulled Emmett closer to him, pressing Emmett’s hips up to his hardness. This was the only answer Emmett needed. He held Max’s hand and walked him off the dance floor, heading straight to the coat closet to grab their jackets. “You’re place or mine?” Emmett asked, as they moved outside to the waiting car. Max turned to him and leaned in to kiss him deeply. His arms encircled Emmett’s neck; he pushed his body closer, feeling Emmett’s desire pressing against his stomach. He was intoxicated with the feeling that only a first kiss can bring; the heat was unmistakable. Emmett wrapped his arms around Max’s waist, bringing him even closer as Max proceeded to ravage him with his mouth. His tongue traced the inside of Emmett’s lips, encircling them. He was rewarded with a soft moan from Emmett. He pushed his tongue in gently, as it met its partner, exploring the new taste that was sweet and fresh, sucking on lips that had been tempting him for the last hour. He pulled away and looked at Emmett. The tension between the two of them was palpable and urgent. All Max could think of was getting this man home and tearing off his clothes. His breathing had accelerated and he seemed to be having trouble catching his breath. The air was ripe with anticipation. “You lead,” Max said. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin watched Brian as he lay on his side sleeping. He had rolled over after their talk and closed his eyes, not giving Justin the option to argue his case or even discuss it further. He had shut himself in, withdrawn behind his wall. Justin knew he had hurt him. He knew it the minute the words were coming out of his mouth and he was telling Brian how he felt. Justin was sick to his stomach, and it wasn’t from the ribs they had consumed at dinner. He wanted to go to the bathroom and hurl out the food, along with this horrible mess that seemed to be stuck somewhere between his gut and his heart. He didn’t know how to fix this or make this easy for Brian or Daphne. All he knew was that he was caught somewhere in the middle and that was never a good place to be. He got off the bed and threw on a pair of sweat pants. He left their bedroom and padded down the hallway quietly, hoping that he wouldn’t wake anyone. He let himself into his studio and set up a small blank canvas, picked up his charcoals and started to draw. His hand moved across the white expanse, swirling and shading, driven by something he had no control over. He had always said that his art just came through him, that he had no clue where it was coming from and tonight, in the midst of his confusion and angst, his hand was moving of its own volition, pulling out the feelings from deep down inside, doing what it always did when he was unhappy and perturbed. It was creating and building; color upon color, layer upon layer, form upon form. He drew with frenzy, unmindful that it was two in the morning and the house was as quiet as a tomb. He drew because he had to, to finish what he started, to at least be in charge of one thing in his life; a life which seemed all of a sudden to be up-ended. He finally stepped back to take a look; his artist’s eye seeing nuances and subtle variances in spots that the ordinary eye would never see. He made the necessary corrections and then he rubbed his eyes with his hands and threw the box of charcoals down. He was exhausted suddenly, his body felt drained of all energy, as if his life blood had left him through his hands and was now sitting on the canvas that stared back at him. He dragged himself out of the room and walked the hallway leading from his studio to the bedroom, as if he were sleepwalking or in some kind of a trance. He climbed into bed and his movement woke Brian. He felt him turn over and move towards his side of the bed. He felt Brian’s arms move around his body to pull him towards his side, spooned up against him. He heard him whispering, “I love you”, softly, over and over. He heard it and wept. TBC