Note: I want to Thank Rory, for all her help with this story without here I wouldn't even being writing it. :) Beta: Rory Banner and Icon: Helen Justin was lying in his bed thinking about what Brian had said and how he‘d reacted. He was so pissed and hurt. He knew Brian wouldn’t be thrilled about him being pregnant and becoming a father himself, but it’s not like he planned it. He just knew that this baby was someone he had already fallen in love with. He wondered how Brian could ever even think Justin would consider giving up his baby. He didn’t understand how Brian could think like that when it was a part of the two of them. **** Brian P.O.V. Holy fuck! Justin’s pregnant…with my kid. 6 weeks. Pregnant. Fuck! I look at the grainy picture and I can see where the heart is. The tiny little heart. Holy fuck! That really, really makes this real. Justin is pregnant with my baby. My baby’s heart is beating inside him. Oh fuck! What am I going to do? I am not going to be a drop in dad. I won’t. But fuck, fuck fuck! What do I know about being a father? I have seen Gus a handful of times since he was born. Of course, I guess it’s because he is really the muncher’s kid, not mine. But…but this baby, this baby would be mine. Mine and Justin’s. Fuck! Christ, I can’t deal with this. I wouldn’t make a good father. How could I? This is too much! Shit everything’s fucked! Justin…and this baby damnit! I’ve got to get out of this loft. I resist crumpling up the picture and place it on the coffee table before grabbing my keys and getting the fuck out of the loft, away from the reminders of my…baby. As soon as I reach Babylon I did not stop to see the guys who were all crowded around by the bar. A drink won’t cut this feeling out of me right now. And I certainly don’t need to talk to any of them. I need a quick mindless fucking orgasm. A trick immediately comes on to me. He isn’t bad looking so I grab him and lead him into the backroom. I push him down to his knees and fist out my angry hard cock. I need to forget. I need to forget. I need to forget. And then, I do as the warm mouth deep throats me into momentary oblivion. **** 3rd Person P.O.V. The next morning the Diner was busy. It usually was on a Saturday Morning. Of course, Justin was feeling more run down than usual and the diner’s pace was wearing him down. He was sure the baby was trying to kill him. It seemed the baby didn‘t even like the crackers he‘d munched on before he‘d gotten out of bed like the doctor had recommended. It was supposed to stop the acid in his stomach from churning before he got up. It hadn’t worked. And now he was really out of energy. He just hoped that the nausea would go away soon. He read that sometimes it did after the first trimester. If it persisted, than he was sure the next 36 weeks would be hell for him. He would also be worried that the baby wasn’t getting the right nutrition. The vomiting from this morning was also coupled with the sleepless night from before. Justin knew the other man was scared but so was he. The image of horror on Brian‘s face when he told him about the baby kept playing under his eyelids each time he closed them. Half way through the night he just decided to stay awake. However, he still was plagued with thoughts and fears concerning his coming child. **** Brian was watching Justin through the window of the crowded diner. He couldn’t face the blond yet. That much he did know. But he didn’t understand what exactly would happen now. He didn’t know what it would mean for him and Justin. Brian knew it was big, and life altering but not having control and the details was really irking him. He did know that he didn’t want Justin to face this pregnancy alone. But, he had no idea if he could be a full time dad the way he knew Justin would want him to be. Justin wouldn’t expect any less from him. But maybe that was a good thing? Brian watched Justin for a few more minutes. His eyes traveled along with the busy blond as Justin bussed tables and charmed customers with his smile. Though, Brian saw the smile didn’t reach the blonde’s eyes. That’s when Brian noticed how tired and run down Justin looked. He had black bags under his eyes and his blues seemed to be faded somehow. He needs to do something about it. He looked at Justin one last time before turning around and walking down the block to his jeep and driving off. His destination would be to find himself some answers. **** Justin finished his shift at the diner feeling a little better once he got in the swing of things. All day he’d felt like Brian was close to him but he never saw the other man. That disappointed him, but he was okay with it. He wasn’t sure he was ready to come face-to-face with Brian. He was still hurting from Brian’s reaction. Daphne was going to be coming over that night. He was very glad because he really needed to talk to her. Once again he was very grateful for having such a supportive best friend. **** Justin and Daphne were sitting in his room devouring a bag of sour crème and onion chips. Justin had already eaten a sandwich and was very happy to not feel nauseated. “So, you just left?” Daphne asked around a mouthful. Justin handed her the two liter soda bottle after taking a drink for himself, “Yeah. What else could I do? I mean, he asked me what I was going to do with ‘it‘. That’s what he called our baby,” Justin stuffed another chip in his mouth, “an ’it’.” Daphne sighed, “Justin don’t you think you over reacted a little bit?” Justin blanched, “What!” “You just told a guy who never fucks anyone twice, let alone has a relationship of any kind, that he knocked you up. You! His 17 year old pseudo boyfriend or whatever you two are this week. How did you expect him to react?” Daphne asked curiously. Justin blushed and stuffed more chips in his mouth, “Um... Happy? I guess,” he said seriously. Daphne couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Justin, I thought you got it. I mean come on! Stop acting your hair color. He is freaking out. He is terrified. Just like you was when you found out! Hell, you told me that his parents never cared about him. He probably is scared he will become them. Or like them. He would never want to hurt you or the baby. Justin sat there taking in what his best friend had said, slowly chewing his now, less tasteful bite. Daphne leaned over and hugged him tightly. “Get some rest okay? We’ll talk again tomorrow.” Justin gave her a tiny smile, “Yeah, okay, “he said as she got off of the bed and walked out of his bedroom closing the door behind her. Justin was once again alone with his thoughts. But now, now he was starting to see Brian’s reaction in a complete new light. After laying there and pondering the future for a while he picked up his cell phone. It was a midnight and he figured Brian would probably be out and not answer his call, but he’d try anyway. Laying in the dark of he took a deep breath and called Brian. **** Brian was sitting in his bed in the dark loft when his cell went off. He hadn’t been able to think about anything but Justin and the baby. Usually sitting in the dark cleared his mind. He’d gone to the baths to find some answers through anonymous sex but that didn’t help at all. He couldn’t forget his fears or the situation. He had a lousy fuck and wanted a really good one. Brian knew just who it was that could really give him a good fuck. That of course made his thoughts that much worse. He looked at the caller ID on his cell and saw it was Justin phoning him. He was unsure what he would say. So, even though he wanted to answer it…for the fuck, nothing more, really. He didn’t answer it. He just let it ring. He isn’t ready to deal. No, he wasn’t ready to deal. Those were the last thoughts of the night as Brian slowly succumbed to sleep in his over exhausted mind. **** After Justin left a voicemail on Brian’s machine that night he slowly closed his eyes feeling a lot more at peace than he had the night before. He was happy because his body seemed to be settling down and he was sure that would finally be able to get some sleep. Justin pulled the covers up tight around his body and rested his hand on his small stomach. “Good night baby,” he whispers. **** It had been a month since either Brian or Justin had talked to each other face-to-face. Thankfully, none of the gang took notice. They were all too swept up in the dramas of their own personal lives. Justin had taken to calling Brian every night. He would call from his bed, right before he fell asleep. He did it just so that he could hear Brian’s voice on the machine and to also give the man updates on how he was feeling and the changes taking place with his body. Justin had no way of knowing whether or not Brian listened to each message or just deleted them right away. But Brian had been listening. He listened to every single message just left in the mornings as he was getting ready for work. Brian felt guilty that he wasn’t there but Justin always told him, in every message that he understood. He told Brian he would be there waiting for him when he was ready to talk. This morning was different though. Brian didn’t get a message from Justin last night on his voicemail. He was disappointed. It surprised him how disappointed he actually was, and then he became worried about why Justin had not called him. He wondered if something bad had happened to Justin or the baby. He needed to find out. So he took the plunge and phoned Justin. “Hello?” Justin’s voice asked surprised. “You didn’t leave a message,” Brian told him getting straight to the point. “Oh Brian, I’m sorry. I was tried last night and I had to get up early this morning.” “Is everything okay?” “I’m actually at the doctor’s right now. Can I call you back?” “Where is your Doctor’s office? Are you in the waiting area?” “Um. It’s Dr. Lee on Liberty and I am in room 4. Why?” “I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” He said gathering his keys and jacket and rushing out the door. **** Before Justin could say anything else Brian had already hung up on him. It had been a while, but finally Justin had a huge smile on his face when Dr. Lee walked into the room. “What are you so happy about Justin?” She asked. “Brian’s coming; he is actually on his way.” Dr. Lee smiled encouragingly. “So, what does this mean?” Justin’s smile dropped a little. “I have no idea,” he admitted. **** Before Brian could really even think what exactly he was doing, and the ramifications of the action, he was standing in front of the clinic‘s door. He didn’t know why he told Justin he would come there, why he felt he needed to be there. But for some unconscious reason he knew it felt like something he should do. It was more than just that Brian was worried about the blond and the baby. It was something else too. He walked past the reception desk and headed straight to room four. When he found it he stood outside the door for a moment and released the big breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding in. Then, he knocked on the door. He heard Justin mumble for him to enter the room. Brian cautiously opened the door and walked in, though he paused when he was just a few steps into the room. His eyes took in the sight of his boy lying on the exam table. He wasn’t sure where or when he started to think of Justin as his boy, but nerveless he liked the thought. “Hey, come in...” Justin told him, reaching his hand out. Brian nodded and walked over to Justin. He took Justin’s hand and held it with his own. Normally, he would never hold someone’s hand, let alone a trick’s, but of course Justin wasn’t a trick. Brian knew that much. No, he was so far from it that Brian didn’t know what Justin exactly was or where he stood in his life. “Are you okay?” “Yeah.” Justin squeezed his hand. “Dr. Lee just likes to see me once a month to check the progress of the baby. But I’ll have to see her once a week in the last month. Or maybe before that. I am a high risk pregnancy because of my age and small frame.” “Oh good.” Brian said relieved to know that this appointment was normal. “Where is she?” “We did the oral exam but then I told her I wanted to wait for the next part of the exam until you were here,” Justin smiled. Brian felt warmth start to spread through him. “Thank you,” he said, leaning down to kiss Justin’s forehead. Justin flushed. “Anytime. I’m just glad you are here.” Before they could say anything else Doctor Lee walked into the room. She smiled at Justin and then at his lover. “Nice to see you Brian.” “Uh, you too,” Brian replied. Dr. Lee nodded. “Are you boys ready to see your baby?” Justin’s face lit up with excitement, “Yes.” He then turned to look at Brian who slowly nodded his head in agreement. Dr. Lee set the equipment up, Brian and Justin’s anticipation rose. And then, the image appeared on the screen. Brian’s eyes are transfixed by the picture of the little beating of the heart that can also be heard throughout the room. “That’s …” “Our baby,” Justin finishes for him. They both tear their eyes away from the screen and look at each other at the same time. They stare into the other eyes for a moment and then smile at one another. TBC