(A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and Commented I loved it. :) And to those who tried to help me thank you so much. Gerri, Thank you so much for your help in this chapter. I'm sorry it took so long but it was hard to write. I hope you all like it. :) Comments and Reviews are always loved. Later and Love, Keighley) Torn Apart Chapter 4: Fear you...Fear me.... Justin's POV Fear....I fear everything...lately anything can send me into a panic attack... The thought of going outside or having anyone see me sends me into a mental breakdown... I know this is hell for Brian and Daphne...God, you should have seen them trying to take me to the clinic i seriously was about to ask them to drug me...But I went because I had to. I took all the test..they were all negative thankfully but now I am waiting for the big one.. If I'm positive I know Brian won't leave me but I know it will be unfair to stay here with him. He doesn't deserve someone who is sick...I am going to do what I have to. It will kill me but I have to protect him...I love him more than anything in this world. Brian POV I wish I knew what he was thinking... Daphne and I took him to the clinic and i swear I thought he was going to have a heart attack..I hate seeing him in pain. But it was something that had to be done..So, now we are waiting for the results about the one important test...it could change our lives forever...I wanted to stay with him at the loft but he told me to go in to work for a little while so I did. He promised to call me... I have no fucking idea how am I suppose to concentrate on anything... Fuck, I don't know what I am going to do if he is positive...I will be there for him because I love him..yes, I love the little twat but I won't know how to fix this...How the hell do i help him? Justin Ring...Ring...Ring I hear the phone....I'm scared what's on the other side.... God, this isn't right..I swear I feel more scared now than I when I got bashed... I pick up the phone.... Hello Dr. Fren: Is this Justin Taylor? Yes I got your test results back...I was wondering if you can come in... The phone falls....I can't breathe.... Brian I can't just sit here and wait for him to call me...I have to be with him...I get home and I see him on the floor shaking... Justin baby...come back... Justin I hear Brian, I feel...him... Justin: Br...Brian... Brian: what happened? Justin: The clinic called....they...(tears falling down his cheek) want me to come in.... Brian: shh..what ever it is we will get through this.... We go to the clinic and we wait...I honestly can't believe he didn't fight me to leave the loft that could be because he is still in shock....god, everyone knows what it means when they want you to come in. The fucker..didn't even use a condom. Fuck! How the fuck is going to deal with this? Haven't we been through enough? Justin I'm sitting here why the doctor basically tells me that My life is over. Sure you can live with HIV but honestly...there is a chance you will die before they find a cure. Right now there are drugs to prolong the inevitable . Is it wrong that I don't care...i want the fucker to be dying. I want this to go away... I want to be perfect for Brian. How can I be when I'm Positive... UNKNOWN I can't believe it...I finally got that blond boy ass back. God, this feels good. He deserve what he got. He is probably still living it up with Kinney well, not for much longer. I ruined his life like he ruined mine. At first when I found out I was positive I was pissed anger...and damn well suicideal but I didn't anything.... I figured I could pay back the dick who turned me down...No one makes me look stupid... He had to freak out because Hobbs called him Queer. Well, he is... Fuck it.. No one will ever know it was me....Bill Dickson...I raped him. Who are they going to believe...Some Fag or a Teacher.