Authors: 		Lela Rose & Shirley 
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When Justin went to bed Brian locked up the loft for the night and checked to make sure everything was secure. He went into the other apartment to check on things there as well. He walked by Justin's bedroom and saw the door was slightly open so he peaked in and saw Justin already asleep, or so he appeared to be.

Justin’s body made a small lump under the covers.  His silky hair shone brightly against the navy blue silk sheets. His head rested on his arms.   He looked so young and beautiful.  Brian was tempted to go over and run his fingers through his silky hair.  He wanted to feel the soft locks.  He refrained.  He turned around and went back into his bedroom.  He stripped down to his jeans, and unbuttoned the top button. He laid down on his bed and lit a cigarette.

Sleep never came quickly for Brian.  He rarely slept and if he did it was only for short periods of time.   He lay in bed smoking his cigarettes. His mind wandered back to Justin’s innocent question. *Who protected you?*  He thought back to his childhood.  He should have just been truthful and told Justin there was nobody to protect him.  Nobody, he thought sadly.

By the time Carl had moved to Pittsburgh and put a stop to Jack’s beatings he had become so immune to Jack’s fists and backhands it hadn’t really mattered.  Brian had taken his duty as a big brother and protector seriously. From the time he was a young boy he could remember defending his sister and mother from his father’s drunken rages. He should have told Justin he was a bodyguard because it was all he knew.

After awhile Brian glanced over at the clock and saw that it was three in the morning.  He finally conceded that he needed to try and get some sleep.  He put out the cigarette he was smoking and rolled over on his side and tried to force sleep to come. He was almost successful when he thought he heard a strangled moan coming from the other apartment. He heard it again and it sounded like an agonized moan or a soft scream.

Brian got up in and went to check on Justin. He padded across the floor barefoot and did not bother to put his shirt back on. When he reached Justin’s bedroom door the soft moans turned in to loud screams and he could see Justin flailing his arms as if he was struggling with someone.

Brian went over to the bed and tried to wake Justin up.  His arms were flying so wildly that he caught Brian a couple of times in the chest before he was able to control him and wake him up. Somehow Brian ended up lying on the bed holding Justin’s arms down with one hand and holding his head to his chest with the other hand.

Justin was breathing heavily trying to regain his bearings. In his nightmare, he felt like he was being smothered again. It seemed so real.

“Hey are you okay?” Brian asked in a soft whisper.

Justin didn’t answer right away, he was unsure for a moment as to where he was.  He started to remember he was with Brian. And then he realized he was lying in Brian’s arms and he didn’t mind it at all. He actually began to feel calmer than he had felt since waking up from the coma.

“I was having another nightmare about that night.”

“How bad?  Tell me about it.”

Justin scrunched up his nose.  “The same. I see them by the dumpster.  I have to walk past them to get to Daph’s apartment.  It feels weird.  I slow my pace.  They are arguing about something. I’m not really sure what…….I don’t know…..then it’s just pain and darkness.” Justin’s voice trailed off.

“Don’t worry about it right now.  It’s just a nightmare.  You are here with me and you are safe.”  

For some unknown reason Brian kissed the top of Justin’s head.  His lips rubbing across the fragrant silky strands of his hair.  Justin’s hair smelled of something citrus.  Then it dawned on Brian it was his shampoo.  Justin had used his shampoo in the shower.

Justin slumped against Brain’s chest.  He liked the feel of being in Brian’s arms.  Feeling his hard strength holding him close.  He loved the warmth of Brian’s body.  The smell of the expensive cologne he wore.  Justin took a deep calming breath and relaxed against him.  His arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

“Feeling better,” Brian asked.

“I’m okay,” Justin said as he titled his head to look at Brian's face.  

He was still lying against Brian chest. He loved the sound of his heartbeat and wasn’t in a hurry to break the contact.

“I’ll be okay.”

Justin looked into Brian eyes as he said the last statement and Brian wondered if it was more of a question than a statement.  Justin’s blue gaze locked with his.  Brian felt like he was mesmerized.  Trapped by the beautiful blue orbs staring at him with such trust….and lust.  Justin looked so vulnerable lying in his arms that Brian couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him this time. 

He leaned forward and Justin met him half way.   Brian trailed his tongue over Justin’s soft pouty lips.  They were as soft as Brian expected.
  
Justin let out a soft sigh and Brian’s tongue entered the warm recesses of his mouth. Brian explored every crevice.  Brian’s tongue touched his, he tasted a little mint, and his own unique taste. It was heaven. Justin’s slender fingers wrapped around Brian’s neck and pulled him closer to him.

Justin was like a man starving.  He sucked hungrily on Brian’s tongue.   His hands roamed Brian’s naked torso.  Somehow he managed to slid into Brian’s lap.  His round ass ground against Brian’s raging hard on.  Brian’s hands trailed down his sides slipping beneath Justin’s t-shirt to touch his soft, silky skin.  

Justin moaned in pleasure the sound trapped in their heated kiss.  If Justin didn’t stop grinding his ass into Brian’s cock Brian knew he’d be lost.  He’d end up fucking Justin against his better judgment.  Brian trailed his hands up and ran them through the silky strands of his hair. His hair was softer than Brian imagined. 

He reluctantly broke the kiss.  Justin sought Brian’s mouth again but Brian gently but firmly held him away.  Brian lifted him off his lap and back on the bed. Reality had set in.  Brian jumped off the bed as if it was on fire, but in truth it was he that was on fire. He left a stunned Justin sitting on the bed staring up at him.  Brian ran a shaky hand through his hair and tried to get control of his lust.

“Why did you stop?” Justin asked somewhat confused.

“We can’t do this now.”

“Well when?” Justin asked sexually frustrated.

“That is not what I meant to say, we can’t do this period.”

“Why?”

Brian let out a sigh of exasperation and leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Have you ever been with anyone other than Ethan?”

Justin fidgeted, “Sure.”

Brian arched an eyebrow in disbelief and stared Justin down. 

“Okay.  Well not really.  You would be my second,” he finally confessed.

“I sorta figured.”  Brian paused.  “Justin, I’m a too old for you.”

Justin stared at the fine, handsome man leaning against the wall looking back at him.  Justin didn’t care how old he was.  All he knew was he wanted this man to fuck him.

“How old is *too* old?”

“I’m 31 years old.  You’re not even twenty.”

“I will be in a few months. When you were younger didn’t you fuck a guy that was much older than you were?”

Brian thought of his Coach in high school.  His home life had been hell.  He spent so many hours after school with sports.  It was his one escape from his father’s fists.  He had a crush on his coach.  He was probably 26 and Brian had been fourteen that first time.  He’d never shared the story with anyone but Mikey.  He found himself sharing it with Justin.

“I was fourteen my first time with my coach.  He was probably about twenty-six.  I blew him in the locker room shower.  He returned the favor.  Eventually we did other things.”

“You were so young then Brian.”  Justin said in awe.  “I’m much older.  I’m an adult.  If you fucked an older man at fourteen why don’t you think I can make that decision at nineteen?”

“I think you need time to be sure it’s the right decision.  Justin you need to be thinking about going back to college.  Meeting men your own age.”

“I’ve done that Brian.  I’ve fucked a guy that was my age.  He didn’t know shit.  I don’t want to do that again.  I want to fuck someone with a little more experience.  Someone that can teach me to be the best homosexual I can be.”

Brian wondered if Justin was really making sense or if it was his hormones just agreeing with him.  He tried again.  “You need to get out and have a little fun.  When I was your age I fucked every gay guy I met.”

Justin liked the fact that Brian said fucked and not made love to.  It’s what he wanted. The passion and heat of fucking.

“That’s what I want Brian…..to fuck.  Not every gay guy I meet.  Right now I just want you to fuck me.  Is that too much to ask?”

He looked at Brian so lustfully, so earnestly Brain almost lost his will power.  Brian walked to the bedroom window and stared out.  He was trying so hard to control himself.  If Justin continued to look at him like that he didn’t know if he’d be able to resist him much longer.

Without turning around he said, “You need to get some sleep. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.  When we both aren’t so……so aroused.   I’ll sleep on the couch in the living room if you don’t want to be alone in the apartment.”

“Could you sleep in here instead?”

“Justin…..“Brian began but Justin quickly cut him off.

“Brian this is a king size bed a small village in Africa can sleep here and not be touching.”

Brian smiled at Justin’s maneuver to get him back in bed.  “How about I sleep in the lounge chair by the window?”

“Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable?”

Not as uncomfortable as sleeping in bed next to you with my dick as hard as a brick Brian thought.

“No I have the same chair in my bedroom; I’ve slept on it a million times. Now no more talking go to sleep.  We have a lot to do tomorrow.”

Justin turned to face Brian and snuggled under the covers.  Brian lounged in the chair by the window, there was a throw on the back of it. Brian wrapped the throw around himself, all the while aware of the baby blue eyes that followed his every move.

Justin watched Brian settled down on his makeshift bed before closing his eyes in an attempt to succumb to sleep once again. To Justin’s surprise once he closed his eyes he could feel sleep coming quickly; as he was drifting off he wandered if it was because Brian was so close by to protect him, even from his dreams.

Brian relaxed with his eyes close, but not asleep.  Once he knew Justin was, Brian open his eyes and watched him sleep until morning came.
--------------------

Justin woke up to find Brian already gone. The throw was folded and returned to its original place. On the chair he noticed that Brian laid out some clothes and new underwear for him.   A long sleeve designer t-shirt and a zip up sweater that he knew would be a little baggy but would do for now. The underwear was even designer. They were black silk. So sheer they were almost transparent.  

Justin ran his fingers over the smooth material. He’d never owned anything like it or seen anything like it except in men’s fashion magazines.  He and Ethan both wore plain cotton briefs. Justin headed to the bathroom.  

Justin showered and dressed before he sought out Brian. It took him longer than usual to comb his hair because of the length.  A haircut was definitely a priority on his list.  Justin went in to the loft apartment and found Brian sitting at the kitchen counter.  He was already dressed and was drinking a cup of coffee. 

He looked up as Justin entered the room and without saying a word he took down several boxes of cereal and poured Justin a cup of coffee.

“Sorry all I have for breakfast is cold cereal.”

“That’s fine,” Justin said as he reached for the box of Cheerios and poured himself a bowl. He could tell by Brian’s demeanor that he was not going to mention last night. Justin thought it would be better if he didn’t either. At least not right now.  

After breakfast they headed downstairs to the jeep and drove to the hospital for Justin’s physical therapy session.  The ride to the hospital was quiet neither one felt the need to speak even though they both knew they needed to discuss last night.

Brian parked the jeep in the hospital garage and he and Justin headed to the physical therapy department. When they reached the reception area Emmett was at the nurses’ station picking up Justin’s chart. When he saw Justin he smiled. When he saw whom Justin was with he squealed.

“Oh my God! Justin, honey I didn’t know you knew Brian. Oh, stupid me you’re gay aren’t you. Of course you know Brian.”  Emmett then turned his attention to Brian. “How’ve you been?  You look absolutely fabulous. We missed you at Woody’s and Babylon’s last night but I guess you were busy,” he smirked. “I should have known you would know this sweet little morsel.” Emmett said pointing at Justin. 

Justin looked from Brian to Emmett.  He noticed that Brian had not said a word and his expression was not giving away anything. Justin could not tell if Brian even knew whom Emmett was until he finally spoke.

“Hey, Em.  Yeah, Justin and I are becoming close friends….very close friends.”  Uncle Carl introduced us.  Justin needed a ride to his appointment today so I thought I would accompany him,” Brian said casually.

“Oh, how sweet; you can come in the therapy room if want. You can be moral support while I torture our little sweetie here.”

Brian looked over at Justin who was quietly watching the exchange between the two men.  “That would be up to Justin.”

“Uh, sure Brian. I wouldn’t mind if you came into the session.”

Emmett was surprised to see Justin reach out and touch Brian’s hand as he spoke. He knew Justin had an issue with closeness. His uneasiness with touching made it hard for their therapy sessions because Justin was focusing so much on staying calm that he took longer to master the exercises.

“Well isn’t that nice,” he gave Brian a devilish look.  “Okay sweetie follow me,” he instructed.

Brian and Justin followed Emmett into the therapy room. As they followed behind Emmett, Justin couldn’t help notice that if there were ever two different people in the world they were Brian and Emmett. Emmett was dressed in a pair of bright orange scrubs with a matching top.  He had a lab coat on but it was not the traditional white.  It was a blinding fuscia color. He looked so colorful, but the bright colors matched so well with his personality.

Brian on the other hand was dressed in a pair of tight faded jeans, a green long sleeved designer silk t-shirt, black Prada boots and belt and his black leather Hugo boss jacket. He looked as if he stepped off the cover of a GQ magazine.  He was as sexy as ever.

Justin could read Emmett’s every thought and emotion just by looking at him. It was harder for him to read Brian. Justin still couldn’t tell if he was pleased or not to see Emmett.  He wondered why Brian didn’t mention that he knew Emmett yesterday when he was talking about his appointments for today.

They entered the therapy room.  Emmett had Justin’s usual props already set up. Emmett started out with Justin working on his coordination by picking up paperclips and placing them back into the container. He also worked on his reflexes by tossing a ball back and forth. Brian sat and watched as Justin went through his exercises.  He made a mental note of each one, so that he could help Justin with them back at the loft.

Once the session was coming to a close Emmett asked Justin if he wanted him to massage his hand.   Justin consented.  Emmett started from his fingers tips flexing the joint and working his way towards the palm.  Half way through the massage a resident doctor came in with a question for Emmett.  Emmett was about to ask if the doctor could wait for moment when Brian offered to takeover for him. Brian not only surprised himself but also Emmett and Justin with the offer.

“Um, okay sweetie.  Thank you. I’ll just be over there if you need me.”

Emmett walked outside the door with the doctor and left Brian and Justin alone.  Brian took up where Emmett left off.

“Hey, I guess I’m starting to become an old pro at this,” Brian said looking at Justin.  He realized he was caressing Justin’s hand more so than massaging it.

“Yeah, I'm starting to get used to this,” Justin teased. 

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing, now is it Sunshine?”

Justin’s bright blue eyes locked with Brian’s hazel ones.  He wondered if Brian was flirting or if he was serious. Emmett re-entered the room. Brian and Justin were so caught up with each other they didn’t even notice. Emmett over heard the last part of Brian’s statement. He couldn’t wait to tell the guys.  Brian *find’em, fuck’em and dump’em* Kinney was making goo-goo eyes and giving sweet little names to a twink.  He was almost speechless.  Michael would be livid.

“SUNSHINE.  Oh, my goodness!  That is the perfect name for you,” he said smiling at Justin.  “You are so my Sunshine.  You just brighten up my day. Unfortunately we are all done for today. I believe your next appointment with me is the day after tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“So, baby just continue your exercises at home.  Two times a day and more if you can work it in.  You will be on the right path to a speedy recovery.”

“Em, you really believe my hand will be back to normal? I mean 100% normal.”

“Baby I swear to you, you will be back to making Picasso and Michelangelo worthy masterpieces in no time.”

“Thanks Em. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Emmett watched as Brian and Justin walked out of the room.  He noticed Brian had a hand in the small of Justin’s back. He’d never known Brian to gently touch any man. And even more amazing Justin didn’t flinch or shy away from his touch. Emmett was bursting at the seams with this juicy bit of gossip and couldn’t wait to tell gang at Woody's tonight.  Brian Kinney had a boyfriend. A boy-toy friend.

Brian and Justin walked through the waiting room and Justin led the way to the elevator.

“We have to go a couple of floors up for Dr. Bruckner’s office.”

Brian just nodded and followed.  He noticed that Justin stayed very close to him.  When they entered the elevator they were the only ones on it and Justin took that as an opportunity to get some information from Brian.

“Brian?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you mention you knew Emmett last night?”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

“How do you know him?”

“Justin the Pitts gay community is not that large. Just about everyone down on Liberty Avenue know each other. Or at least know of each other.”

“Did you fuck him?”

Brian glanced down at Justin.  He knew he could refuse to answer the question but he saw no reason to keep the truth from Justin.

“Yes.”

Justin was quiet for moment and then he thought of his psychiatrist.

“Dr. Bruckner is gay too.”

“Yeah, I know,” Brian answered.

“So, uh, did you fuck him too?”

“Yeah I did... Does this bother you Justin?” Brian was looking into Justin’s beautiful blue eyes as he asked the question.

“Yeah, it does.” Justin said in a low whisper. “But not in the way you think.”

Brian could see the look of longing and passion filling Justin's eyes.  Brian had mixed emotions about that look.  As much as he wanted to fuck Justin he didn’t want to hurt him.  Justin was so young and vulnerable.  He didn’t know if Justin was ready for an *only* fuck encounter.  He didn’t know if he could give Justin anything other than a hard cock, an amazing rim job and a mind numbing blowjob.  All of these thoughts were racing through his mind when the elevator doors opened on their floor.  Part of him was almost tempted to press the stop button and fuck Justin right there in the elevator. And the rational part of him was saying keep it professional.

“This is our stop,”  Justin said.

Brian stepped aside to allow Justin off the elevator ahead of him. Justin thought Brian was being polite, but in truth he was being quite selfish. Brian figured if he couldn’t touch he could definitely look.  He watched Justin’s bubble butt moved enticingly beneath his jeans.  They walked up to the receptionist desk to check in.

Ben came out within minutes to take Justin into his office. He noticed Brian sitting next to Justin in the waiting room. He gave a slight nod of acknowledgement to Brian and then focused one hundred percent of his attention on Justin.

Justin entered Ben’s office. His office was the typical psychiatrist office. It was furnished with an oversized desk, bookshelves, a wall of impressive degrees, a large sofa for reclining and two large overstuffed chairs. Justin could lie on the sofa if he chose to, but part of him found that to be to cliché.  He sat in one of the chairs instead.  He sat down and made himself comfortable in the oversized chair.  Ben sat behind his desk and cut on his tape recorder.

“Justin it is good to see you. How have things been?”

“It’s been good.”

“So, I understand you are staying with your mom and your sister.  How do you like that?”

“Actually I am staying with a friend.”

“Oh, and is that going well?”

“Yup.”

Ben waited to see if Justin would volunteer more information.  When he didn’t he continued.

“So have you had any memory of the attack.”

“I had a nightmare last night, but couldn’t see their faces.”

“Do you remember anything?  Any words or part of their conversation?”

Justin closed his eyes and tried to think back to his dream from last night, but all he could visualize was a pair of hazel eyes looking at him, a hard muscled chest, a long hard cock pressing against his ass and soft lips kissing him. Justin opened his eyes quickly.  He didn’t want to get a hard-on while he was being analyzed in a psychiatrist office.

“No, I can’t remember anything.”

“Okay, let’s try something. Close your eyes again. I will try to talk you through that night with the information we do know.”

“Okay, we can try it.”  Justin closed his eyes.  He took a deep breath and tried to relax.  He was very skeptical that this would work. When he closed his eyes he saw Brian.  He tried to shake his image from his head.  Then he heard Ben talking and images moved to that night almost two years ago.

“Justin you just walked out of Ethan’s apartment.  You are walking towards Daphne’s apartment.”  Ben spoke in a smooth and even tone to help Justin relax and possibly help him to remember something.  “Do you remember this Justin?”

“Yes, I was pissed at Ethan…no I’m pissed at myself for staying with Ethan for so long.  So I’m walking to calm down.”

“Okay, what else,” Ben prompted.

“I walked for a while then I realized I was near Daphne’s so I called her.”
  
A pinched expression crossed Justin’s face.

“And….go on.”

“I decided to take a short cut and a saw two men talking.” 

Justin started to breathe heavily.  His hands clutched the arms of the chair tightly.

“It’s okay Justin you are safe here. I just need you to remember. Can you see a face?”

Justin tried to concentrate on the images in his head.  “No.”

“Can you hear anything?”

“They are yelling……”  Justin paused in consternation.  “Yeah,” he was excited that he could remember.  “I hear them yelling, *I won’t do it anymore.*”  Justin squeezed his eyes tighter concentrating on those angry voices.  “The shorter stockier guy said that.  Then the taller guy with the deeper voice yelled,  * you will do what I tell you.*  There is a lot a swearing and yelling and then…”  It all seemed to vanish. The images floated away from him.  He tried to concentrate harder but it was useless.  The images had faded away.  

“I can’t remember anything else.”

“Okay Justin that’s enough for now. You did good.”

“I’m sorry I can’t remember anymore,”  Justin said frustrated.

“Don’t be sorry.  What you remembered today was a lot.  The rest will come back to you. We just can’t force it.”

“How about we stop here and pick it up next session. We don’t want to stress you out too much. So do you have plans for the rest of your day?” Ben asked after he shut off the recorder.

Ben couldn’t miss the look of excitement that came across Justin’s face or the blinding smile.

“Yeah my friend Brian is taking me and Daphne shopping and to lunch.” 

Justin made a point to see if Ben showed any reaction to Brian’s name. He saw a slight flicker of something in his eyes, but really could not identify it.

“How well do you know Brian?”

“Well enough. His Uncle Carl…you know the detective assigned to investigate my case introduced us.  Brian’s the friend I’m staying with.”

Ben frowned at this bit of information.  He’d had a few thoughts about Justin himself.  Of course he intended to wait until after he stopped seeing Justin as a patient.  Still he wondered what Brian wanted with him.  He knew Kinney, and twinks had never been his thing.  He was disappointed in these new turn of events but he didn’t worry much.  Brian never kept a guy around longer than a day.  By the time his case was solved and closed he knew Brian would be long gone from Justin’s life.

“Well it sounds like you have a great day planned. I’ll walk you out.”

Ben walked out to the waiting room with Justin.   He went over to Brian and extended his hand.

“Brian it was good seeing you again.”

“You to Ben.” Brian said as he shook his hand.

On the elevator ride down to parking garage Justin filled Brian in on his session.  Brian reminded himself to question Justin more thoroughly about his new memories once they got back to the loft.  Justin called Daphne when he reached the car to let her know they were on their way.  Justin was excited about the rest of the day ahead of him.