Thanks to my beta and to my homegirl Sid..thx for your help and input. I know I pester you alot but you told me to.lol
Justin’s POV: I’m standing here waiting for the almighty god of Brian Kinney to get dressed. Last night we decided we would go back to Babylon tonight. We came home and talked about Michael and how it will take some time to get over it. Brian kept reassuring that he will be around and will wait for me. “Ok, I’m all set.” Brian said from behind me. I turn around to see him naked. I start to laugh. “Brian, I really believe they would let you in like that.” “Me too, but I will put these on.” He gets dressed and we are out the door. Once at Babylon and a few drinks in our systems, the night before is out of our minds. We are in each other’s arms when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see Michael behind me, still in my blue sweater. “Damn it Mikey, when are you going to stop this stalking shit?” Brian asks annoyed. Ignoring Brian he looks at me. “I need to talk to you Justin.” He looks like he has been crying. “Mikey, what is it?” I ask a tad more concerned. “Please, just let me talk to you, alone.” I turn to Brian and he looks at me. “Up to you, Sunshine.” And I nod my head, turning back to Michael I nod my head in the direction of the exit. We get outside and Mikey plunges into my arms. I rub his back a minute and push him away. “I know you are hurting and I am sorry, but Mikey, I am hurting too.” “He has HIV.” Mikey blurts out. “Who does?” I ask him. “Ben.” I now know what this is about. He was sleeping with someone with HIV and even though we used protection, it’s a scary thing. “Did you use protection?” “Yes. But accidents happen.” My heart jumps. Oh my god, accidents happen. I take a step back. “Oh my god.” I repeat. “I know, Justin. I was tested. The condom we used broke and now I have it?” I hug him into my arms. Mikey has HIV. Oh my god. Mikey has HIV. What if... I fall back against the wall and Mikey thinks it’s an invitation and kisses me. I push him back. “I need you Justin.” “When did you know?” “He told me at the beginning but I didn’t remember it.” I can’t say anything as I begin to walk away. “Justin?” He yells to me. I stop and turn around. “How the fuck can you forget that someone told you he’s HIV?! You fucking don’t forget. You remember it. And you are using this now because you are hoping that I will fucking feel so sorry that I would come running back. Don’t you fucking get it? Every fucking time we had sex, YOU put ME at risk. YOU put ME in jeopardy. Which now puts Brian at risk. It’s not enough that you fucking cheated on me but you did it with someone with HIV and you never thought about anyone but yourself. You and I had sex all that time and you didn’t bother to tell me you were infected. Why did you stay with him once he told you and once you found out?” “Because I loved him and I didn’t think it was important At the time I didn’t know I was infected. But then I got into thinking that if I got sick tomorrow and died I would want my last days with you” “Fuck you, Michael.” I walk back into the club and find Brian. I lean into him and wipe a tear. “Shh, it’s okay Sunshine.” He whispers to me. “No.” I say in a quiet voice. “Take me home, please Brian. Just take me home.” And he nods, walking me out as I hear him tell the boys he will see them later. Once outside Mikey is leaning against the wall crying. He comes running over, throwing himself in my arms. “I’m so sorry, Justin.” “Get the fuck off me Michael.” And I feel Brian takes him off. “Michael, quit being a whiny baby. Justin has made his choice.” “Shut up, Brian! You don’t know what’s going on.” Michael snaps at him. “Brian, just take me home.” I get in the car and watch as Brian comes around and shuts the driver’s door. We drive toward the loft and once we get there I go up, take a shower. I start to cry. I can’t believe this. I fall to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself. Brian’s POV: I look up at the clock and see that Justin has been in the shower for over an hour. I know he was upset with the break up with Michael but I didn’t know it was this bad. I get up and knock on the door and when he doesn’t answer. I open the door to find him sitting on the shower floor with his arms wrapped around his legs and shaking. I get in and turn the now cold water off and grab a towel. Wrapping it around him I pick him up and carry him to the bed. I lie down beside him and pull the covers up over us. He shivers in my arms and soon enough he is asleep. I don’t move knowing it would wake him up. So I lay there, staring at his features. He looks like an angel. I run my hands down his tear dried face and know that I will be losing him after this tonight. He loves Michael so much. I have to step away and let him be happy. His body has stopped shaking and is now sleeping peacefully. I make a mental note of all his features. I can understand why Mikey doesn’t want to let him go. He rolls over which gives me the opportunity to get up. I go into the kitchen to get some water. I sit on the couch and stare out the window. I don’t know how long I was sitting there when I feel someone sitting on my lap. I look up at Justin who lays his head on my chest, sobbing again. I rub his back until he calms down. “I’m sorry, Brian.” He looks down. I lift his chain up. “I understand. I would do everything I could too not lose you, but in the end it’s still your decision and if you love him this much, maybe you should give him another chance.” He looks at me stunned. He gets up and goes to the window and looks out. “I don’t want him back, Brian. That isn’t why I am upset. He told me something tonight.” I wrap my arms around him and pull him to me. “Let’s just forget him for tonight and be with each other. I thought I was going to lose you.” I kiss his neck. “Brian, I did love him, part of me always will, but I don’t want him back. I don’t trust him.” I let out a long breath knowing how I am grateful for his decision. I lean my head into his neck and kiss it. “Brian.” He whispers as I turn him around and kiss him softly. “It’s okay baby. Whatever it is, I want you with me.” “I don’t want to have sex” He tells me and I nod my head. “It’s not that I don’t want to Brian. It’s because...” I stop him with a kiss “You don’t need to tell me anything.” “Yes I do. Brian, Ben…Ben…” He tries to tell me and I take his hand. Taking him to the couch and sit him down. I kiss him softly and then pull him into me. “You are here, in my arms, safe. Whatever it is Justin, you can either tell me now, or when you are ready.” “Ben’s HIV.” He said so quietly I have to strain to hear it. “Michael knew and they broke up. Michael was hoping I would feel sorry for him because accidents happen and now he has it. And He fucking knew it. I know we used condoms all the time, but it’s the whole thing that he knew. And that we were on the verge of not using them.” “Justin, unless you are with someone for life, don’t stop using a condom. I want you safe. I want you around for a long time.” “Thanks, Brian.” “Whatever happens we will always get through it, together. Oh, I am starting to understand. You are worried that Mikey might have HIV.” “No, he has it. He found out last week. Right before we broke up. I know we were always careful and we checked the condoms each time we pulled out but fuck Brian, he could have given it to me. What if we missed a condom when we pulled out or it leaked? I need to find out.” I pull him into me, holding my angel who my best friend put at risk. This is so fucked up. Justin has been through enough. Even if he has it, I will NOT walk away from him “Justin, look at me.” He does. “I love you, and what Michael did is unforgivable in many ways, but this doesn’t mean you have it. Let’s not jump to conclusions here and get you tested as well as me. I am not worried about me. I am more concerned about you.” He leans into me crying. “Thanks, Brian. I think I needed to hear that. I just want to keep things slow” ********* Justin and I both went to the doctor and both got tested. We get a call from the doctor and we head up there for the results. We are in the room waiting for Dr. Sidney. “I love you, Justin.” I hold him holding him from behind. “Me too.” He answers me. “No matter what the results are Justin, we are in it together.” “Thank you.” Dr. Sidney walks in with the results to the test. “Afternoon, gentlemen.” She says sticking her hand out. We both shake her hand. “Well, the results are back.” Justin and I look at each other waiting for the results. We both look at her again. “And?” I say looking back into Justin’s closed eyes. I grip his hand and turn to look at her and hear her response. “You both are HIV....