Bridge Over Trouble Water


After taking Brian’s clothes off, feeding him chicken soup I watch him sleeping, thinking about what I have learned.

Brian has cancer. 

I rub his head with my fingers, thinking about what we will do. He is in so much pain. 

I lay my head on his chest, thinking about the future.

<I><b>When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;</I></b>

I see him wince as he moves and I can’t help but want to never let him go.

<I><b>I’m on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down. </I></b>

I will not let him push me away again. I know he wants to, it’s the Brian Kinney way. But fuck that way. 

He was there for me after the bashing, to help me get used to crowds, and he was there for my schooling and art. I refuse to let him go through this alone.

I won’t be like his other friends who turn their back on him when he needed them. Like the whole Kip Thomas thing.

And when his nephew said he molested him. I will not turn away.


<I><b>When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.</I> </b>

I will be there to hold you when you can’t hold on alone. 

I will comfort you through this whole cancer thing and for the rest of my life.

I know it will be hard, but I know that together we will make it. 

<I> <b>I’ll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down.</I> </b>

I wipe a tear away when he mutters something about not wanting me to take care of him, and knowing that he would never admit he is glad that I know how he feels and that I would never leave him just because he is one ball short.

<I> <b>Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down. 


Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind. </I> </b>

“I will stay right by your side. I love you Brian.”

“You will make it through this, no WE will make it through this. And you will be the old Brian Kinney, King of Liberty Ave.”

<I> <b>Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind. </I> </b>

“I’m always going to be here for you. Always and forever.”

<I> <b>Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind. </I> </b>

Leaning on Brian again I hear him whisper to me.

“Thanks Sunshine.” 

Without saying anything, knowing that Brian hates when people acknowledge something like that, I simply kiss his neck.

“Sleep Brian. I will be here when you wake up.” I whisper as he falls asleep, knowing that he will once again try to push me aside but for brief moments, I can see right through him.

I am onto him. Always was. 

Falling asleep next to him, I can’t help but feel like this will end up bringing us closer, even if Brian doesn’t admit it, he is glad that I am here.

And so am I.