Thx to my wonderfor beta Carly for everything. Thx to Sid for letting me use her for any questions I have and for being there when I needed a swift kick in the butt. Thx to the girls and to my fans who keep me going. Enjoy
Justin POV: I wake up to the smell of coffee brewing and bacon cooking. I hear music playing and decide it’s time to get up. It’s time to face the music. I walk into the kitchen to see Em dancing around the kitchen holding a spatula, acting like it’s a microphone and singing into the end. I stand there and watch him as I quietly reach over and pick up a spoon. I join in on the chorus as Em turns around and sees me, smiling. We finish our duet as he pulls me into him and dips me. “Hey sugar, how was your sleep?” He asks out of breath. “Great after my breakdown,” I answer him as I swipe a piece of bacon off the plate. “What are you going to do today?” “I thought I should talk to Brian about these feelings.” “Good idea baby.” He kisses me and hands me my plate. He makes one for himself and sits across from me. “Em, thanks for last night.” “No thanks needed. I know you would have done the same for me.” As we eat our brunch Em asks me some questions. “Justin, Baby, I know it’s rough for you after what your father did, but you really should let Brian help you. I am always here for you baby.” “I know.” “Let him in Justin. He isn’t out to hurt you. I am always around if you need me. You know that?.” “Ya, and I love you for it. It’s just hard to look at him knowing he saw it first hand what my father used to do.” “Justin I want you to listen to me. What that asshole did to you was uncalled for and he deserved what I gave him. What he did to you, you didn’t deserve it. Baby, Brian used to get beaten by his father and understands about that, but like I said. Brian sees you as one of the strongest people.” “I know. That’s the problem because I am not strong. I am weak. I let him do it to me and I am well past the fucking teenage years. I still let him do it because I was to afraid to stand up to him.” “But that is because of who he was Justin. You wouldn’t have let a stranger do it but your father has always had that power over you. Sweetie, I know that you feel weak, but if you would have fought him, it would have been worse.” “How fucking worse could it get Emmett?” “Well you could be in jail right now. Or fucking dead. Don’t raise your voice to me Justin. I am on your side baby. I love you more then life itself and would die for you. THAT is why I killed him instead of letting you do it. You would have felt bad afterwards where I feel like celebrating the bastard’s death.” “And so am I.” We both turn to see Brian standing there. “Hey stranger.” Em said. “Hey Emmett. Hey Sunshine.” He kisses me on the cheek as I look to Emmett. “We were just talking about things.” Emmett looks to me. “Ya. I heard and I’m glad the asshole is dead too. Now he can’t hurt my Sunshine anymore.” Brian kisses me. “Well, gentlemen I am going to go shower. Brian there is plenty of food, enjoy.” He kisses me on the mouth and whispers “Talk to him baby” before walking into the other room, leaving Brian and me alone. “He’s a great cook,” I say to Brian, looking down into my plate. “Justin look at me.” Brian tells me. I look up. “I know he is and I know all about it and as long as it helps you, I don’t care.” I look at him questioningly until I realize what he is talking about. “Oh about that.” “Justin, I don’t need details. I just want to see you smile again.” He kisses me and I take his arm. “Brian listen to me. E and I didn’t do anything. We talked about it and he made me realize that when I am ready for that step, I want it to be with you. I shouldn’t try to push it onto myself, with anyone.” He nods his head and I see the smirk before he looks away. “Brian, I’m sorry for acting the way I have been. I know it hurts you as well but I can’t help but pull towards Em when it’s the only thing I am used to. I have to get used to you as well and I am starting to open up a little more to you.” I look away and he takes my chin in his hand and lifts it up, kissing my lips. “I am willing to wait Sunshine. And for the record, I don’t see you as a weakling but as someone I want to be more like. Don’t question it, don’t wonder about it, just let things happen as they happen. I am here for the long run Justin.” “Thank you.” I wipe a tear as he pulls me into him. At first I tense up and then I hold him closer to me. “I love you Justin.” “I love you too Brian. Just give me time to sort this out.” “I’ll be here every step of the way.” We just stand there holding each other as Emmett walks back in. “So everything settled.” “Yes.” We both say together. I smile up at him as he puts his forehead to mine. “Good, then I need to get to work.” He hugs us both as he walks out he looks back at me as he mouths “trust him” and I nod in his direction. After Emmett left Brian and I decided to just hang out there. He took the day off to spend with me. “So when can we go home?” He looks at me. “Brian.” “I know, give it time.” he tells me through rolling eyes. “I’m cool with it.” “Brian, I was going to say, let’s go home. I can’t promise you I won’t run back here.” “Just promise me that you won’t run from me. That you tell me before you take off.” “Ok, I promise.” We head back to the loft when someone stops us. “Justin?” I turn around to see Daphne. “Oh my god it is you.” She hugs me close to her and other then Emmett, Daphne never was a threat since I am gay. “Who is this piece of morsel?” She must have been hanging out with Emmett before meeting us. “I’m Brian, his boyfriend. And you?” Brian answers for me. “I’m Daphne.” “Oh so you are the black beauty Justin talks about on occasions.” He makes Daphne blush. “Aww he talks about me? How sweet.” She pulls me into a hug again, whispering in my ear “Em told me what happened. He thought you could use another friend.” I nod my head. We take her back to the loft where we talk about old times. She tells us she can’t stay too many days because she needs to get back to school but it’s great to have her here. “So Daphne, was Justin always this good looking?” Brian asks her. “Yes he was, only he’s gotten taller.” We all laugh and I throw a pillow at her. She crashes with us and she’s the perfect person to keep me from running. I need that. It’s not that I don’t trust Brian. It’s just that it’s hard for me to give in so quickly. I’m sitting with Daphne while Brian is sleeping on the couch. “So tell me J, what is the problem on letting that hunk on the couch take care of you?” “It’s not that. It’s just that I get scared when someone touches me. I feel so fucking dirty after my dad, after Craig did that. I just don’t feel like I deserve it.” “Well you listen to me mister. You are worth it and if you don’t stop this now then I will just have to steal him from you and yes he’s gay, but like they say, once you go black you never go back” We hear laughing from the couch and Brian looks at me. “You are supposed to be sleeping Brian.” He laughs again. Looking at Daphne he winks at her. “Even if he does let me in, I might hold you up on that invitation. I mean hell; I’m up for anything once. Twice if I like it.” She blushes again. I have never seen her blush this much before. But Brian is a hunk and a half. “Justin, listen to this young beautiful lady. She’s smart in what she talks about. You deserve it baby.” He gets up and moves over by me, pulling me into his arms as I slide in with ease. I don’t know what it is about his arms, but I feel safe. Most of the time, it’s not that I don’t trust him, I just don’t trust my own mind. “I love you.” he whispers into my ear, and for the first time in awhile, I get goose pimples. “Love you too..” Daphne shouts out. I throw a pillow at her. “I love you too Brian.” We laugh at the irony of the thought. “You know I am up for a threesome with you two.” Daphne gives us her best smile and Brian leans into me. “Well that is an invitation worth thinking about. ‘Specially if you make Justin smile like this.” “Ya well, he will be fine. He’s the strongest person I know. Hell he has to be to put up with E’s flamboyant ways.” We laugh as I slap Daphne on her arm. “Ya, well it wouldn’t be the first time, right Justin?” Brian looks from her to me. “Something you care to share Sunshine?” “Uhh not really.” I laugh and Brian bites my neck. I jump at the sudden feeling and close my eyes. “Ya, he was my first.” Daphne lets out; she can tell I am a tad tense. “Really, Sunshine you never said you batted for the other team, at least that one time with Daphne.” “Well it was her first, not mine.” I smile at Daphne who smirks at me. “Ya, but so well worth it.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. We continue to joke about life and Brian gets up and goes to get us some drinks. “Justin, you okay?” She asks me. “Ya, just need some time to get used to it again.” “Just give it time J. You will make it. I know you will. You are better then that fucking asshole.” “Hey stop talking about me when I’m not around.” Brian laughs and hands us our drinks. “What makes you think we are talking about you?” Daphne blurts. “Because you used the word asshole.” We all laugh. I think Brian knew I needed to forget that ‘other’ asshole. ***************************** Brian POV: Daphne seems like a sweet girl and to see her with Justin, or should I say see Justin with her makes me smiles because Justin is doing a lot of smiling with her. When I first met her I knew there was something about her. I think it was her attitude. Reminds me of a female version of me. We laugh some more at jokes and past things they have done. It’s good to know Justin had some good times through all that hell. Justin has jumped or tensed up a few times I have touched him. Especially when I don’t warn him I am going to do it. I really can’t wait to get my old sunshine back. I want to be able to hold him without him worrying or touch him. The only ones he seems to let fully touch him are Emmett and Daphne, but even with her he is a bit off. I know what I need to do. I need to get Justin to relax with getting touched and I know just how to do that. I just hope Emmett will go for it. Course, why wouldn’t he? I am offering him me. For the rest of the evening I worked out my plan in my head. It has to work. Justin offered it to him the other night, but yet, Emmett didn’t go through with it. He’s a stronger man than I thought. But maybe with his help, Justin will be more at ease. The sooner I get him to open up to me, the sooner we can get on with our lives. The next day I get up and hear that Justin and Daphne are both early birds. “Well why didn’t the early birds wake me up?” I kiss Justin on his cheek as I turn and twirl Daphne into me and lay one on her cheek. “You look hot Daphne, I am still thinking about fucking you.” She blushes. I love making her blush. She has attitude, but no one can turn away from my charm. “You too Brian. We didn’t wake you because Justin told me to let you sleep.” “Did he now?” I pull Justin into a hug and he smiles up at me. “Yes, I did. You looked peaceful.” Justin leans up, kissing my lips and turning back to the stove. “Hungry?” He asks me. “Starving.” I lick his neck and he jumps. “Sorry,” I whisper. “No, just wasn’t expecting it. Plus your tongue is cold.” He smirks back at me. The rest of breakfast went by smoothly. I kept my eye on Justin who every so often would look like he is in his own world. Just then the door opens and I hear the voice and see Justin smile. “Hey everyone, the queen has arrived.” Emmett bursts in and Justin laughs, hugging him tightly. I watch the exchange and know my plan will work. “Emmett can I talk to you for a minute please?” I look him in the eyes. “If you want to go off and talk about me, you can do that in front of me.” Justin tells us. “Not everything revolves around you Sunshine.” I smirk at him to let him know I was joking. He smiles back. I take Em into the other room. “I want your help.” I tell him as he looks at me. “What kind?” “I don’t want to ever hear you repeat this to anyone or use this against me but I want your help in getting Justin to have sex with me.” He laughs and looks at me. “Oh my god, you are serious.” He looks shocked. “Em, he needs this. He really needs to be able to let go and there isn’t a way I can get him to do it alone. The longer he waits, the harder it will be and I don’t mean hard in the good way.” “So what do you want me to do?” “A threesome with you, Justin and me.” He chokes on his drink and looks at me. “Oh lordy lord, did I hear you right?” He looks at me. “Yes, you did and Em stop acting like you never wanted me. Look, this isn’t about us, it’s about Justin. All I ask is you do what he wanted and help and I will be in it also. Emmett, look, Justin needs this. I need to feel him again. I won’t ask you again.” “Have you talked to Justin about this?” He looks at me and I shake my head. “Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. We don’t even need to talk to him, just stay here one night and we can work into it.” I look out to see Justin and Daphne laughing at something. “I want him like that with no worries. You are the only one that he fully wants to be touched by. I know he wants me and loves me, but something is holding him back and I want to break that wall before it gets higher and stronger.” “Ok, I will do this but if it hurts him more, I don’t give a shit who you are, I will hurt you Kinney. Justin is very important to us both and that is why I will do this. But if for any reason he wants to stop, don’t push.” I nod my head. “I wouldn’t MAKE him do anything, but I think with us both there, he will be more at ease.” Okay, then tonight we will go out to Babylon and then have a few drinks and dance. Dancing has always been one of his favorite things to do. Just leave it to me to get him at ease and then I will motion for you to join us.” “Sounds like a plan. What about Daphne?” I ask. “Well, she isn’t my type.” We both laugh. “She is going to be visiting her friends and family tonight so she will be busy as well.” “Okay, just didn’t want her to feel left out.” “She won’t. She has a boyfriend.” I nod my head as we walk back out to the two laughing people in my living room. Justin looks at me smiling. Yes this will work. I want that Sunshine back for good.