Out of the Shadows Book 2: From Darkness into Light - Chapter 4 Getting Debbie to take a rest was like trying to knit fog: in other words, pretty damn impossible and she drove everyone mad trying to find something to occupy her time while the diner was being rebuilt. During this time was also the first anniversary of the launching of Kinnetik and everyone was telling Brian he should throw a party. “A party … did … did I hear someone mention a party?” asked Emmett, as he joined the gang at the bar at Babylon. “It’s Kinnetik’s first anniversary … Brian’s throwing a party …” shouted Michael above the noise of the music. “I never said I was throwing a party,” insisted Brian and he saw Michael tilt his head to one side. “But I guess it’s a pretty good idea …” he relented. “Sure it is,” added Ted. “I mean it’s not as if Kinnetik can’t afford to push the boat out … not with the year you’ve had …” and he held up his glass in salute and Brian held up his beer bottle in acknowledgement and he had to admit; the first year had surpassed all expectations. “Oh goody … I do love a party,” exclaimed Emmett, enthusiastically and he moved along the bar so that he was standing next to Brian. “Have you um … have you decided who’s going to cater it for you?” asked Emmett: his eyes wide and innocent looking over the rim of his cocktail glass and he took a swallow of his Cosmo. Always the one people turned to when they had a party in mind, Emmett was beginning to gain something of a reputation as a party planner and caterer and was even considering giving up his job at “Torso”: especially after the business with the attempted fire-bombing that time. “Haven’t really thought about it,” replied Brian: knowing he was keeping the man dangling and then he grinned. “The job’s yours if you want it …” “YES … THANK YOU!” exclaimed Emmett: practically jumping up and down on the spot in his excitement. “Oh … how many people do you think you’ll invite?” asked the man, once he’d calmed down. “100 … 150 maybe …” replied Brian. “150?” Emmett’s eyes opened wide; the biggest party he’d organised so far had involved around 60 people. “My … I’m going to have to get some extra help …” and he frowned and took a sip of his drink as he turned and walked back to the end of the bar. And that’s where Debbie came in. Okay, so she’s not exactly cordon bleu and she’d looked decidedly offended when Emmett told her there was nothing; absolutely nothing going to be served that required marinara sauce, but she was another pair of hands and she had the free time: oh yes, and she was cheap. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Em …” said Debbie, chewing on a slice of cucumber and surrounded by the many dishes in various stages of preparation in her small kitchen. “You know I don’t mind helping out, don’t you … but once the diner’s all fixed up I’m gonna be back there. So … maybe you should get that kid, Darren to help you … he brought a fucking fantastic chocolate dessert to the PFLAG BBQ last year and apparently he’s always cooking for friends …” “Darren? I don’t think I know him,” said Emmett, frowning and covering a bowl of slaw with plastic wrap. “Course you do,” insisted Debbie. “He’s Shanda .. you know … Shanda Leer …” and Emmett smiled in recognition. “Oh Shanda … the drag queen … well sure I know her … him … and that’s very interesting Debbie because between you and me … I think I’ve found what I really want to do.” “You don’t mean you’re fed up kitting out tweaked-out disco twinks?” chuckled Debbie and Emmett turned to face her. “Well I surely don’t want to be doing that all my life … but something like this … I can see myself making a real career out of it … what do you think?” “Emmett … if you can’t make a go out of party planning … then I don’t know the fuck who could,” and Debbie patted his cheek and returned to her task. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Craig Taylor was invited to the celebrations but, not unexpectedly, the man was out of town on business. However, just about all of Brian’s other accounts did attend. The party was a great success and Emmett attracted several enquiries regarding the planning of more. “Well … I think that went rather well,” said the man as he took the check from Brian. “I should hope so … it fucking cost enough,” came the reply. “Quality doesn’t come cheap …” reminded Emmett and he smiled and pocketed the check. Still, it had to be said and Brian acknowledged it, that Emmett and Debbie, for that matter, had worked hard and it had paid off: everyone had said so. “It was a wonderful party Brian,” said Lindsay and even Mel had managed a weak smile. “You’re obviously doing well …” she commented and then whispered into Lindsay’s ear; “Maybe we were a bit quick … telling Brian we didn’t want any financial help with the baby … after all … he can obviously afford it …” “Mel!” whispered Lindsay harshly. “We told Brian he had no obligations where the baby’s concerned …” and Mel frowned and Lindsay grinned back at Brian: hoping he hadn’t heard her partner’s grumbles. “And how is my son and heir?” asked Brian and he reached out and gently patted Lindsay’s stomach. “OUR son … or OUR daughter … is doing fine … thank you,” cut in Mel: the inference perfectly clear with the emphasis on ‘our’ before Lindsay had a chance to answer. Brian was about to say something back but then caught Lindsay’s pleading expression as she took Mel by the elbow and gently steered her away from any further confrontation with him. She hated it when Mel and Brian fought and Brian didn’t really want to give Lindsay any stress right now. And besides they were probably right: he’d wanted nothing to do with the baby other than providing the sperm necessary, so why the fuck should he get involved or even be concerned? Brian watched them walk away and then turned around to find Ted waiting to speak with him. “You know, Brian … most new businesses don’t have nearly as good a first year as you’ve had … and I really think you should be looking at making a few investments … doesn’t make sense for all that money not to be working for you …” said Ted and Brian smiled. “Spoken like a true accountant …” “Well, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t point out to you …” Brian held up his hand to stop him. “Theodore … come up with something worth investing in and I’ll have a look at it … okay?” “Okay,” agreed the other man. “I’ll have a look around … see what there is”. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The official investigation into the explosion outside the diner had revealed some rather unexpected findings. The Utilities Department had hired a different contractor to the one they’d used before and an official internal inquiry had been instigated. It would seem a certain amount of short cuts had been taken and the hiring of inexperienced crew a certain contributory factor to the events of that day. The company had been employed on the recommendation of the Mayor’s Office and Tom Riordan had now announced he wouldn’t be standing for re-election when the time came. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Craig Taylor threw the newspaper across his desk in anger. Riordan should have been more fucking careful and not been personally involved in the decision of which contractor to use and gone through a third party instead. After all, he’d been handsomely paid to push through that decision and had now announced he was standing down. Some fucking help he was going to be now in getting the shopping mall approved, just when they’d almost got everything in place: Taylor would have to find another candidate who would be more useful. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The diner re-opened in a huge fanfare of celebration. It had been sorely missed down Liberty Avenue and it hadn’t taken long for its usual customers to come back. “I don’t believe it … it’s still the fucking same …” Brian looked on open-mouthed as he and the rest of the gang entered the diner. Sure, there were ribbons, balloons and banners decorating the place for its re-opening, but other than that it was the same layout; the same décor as before. “Why change a winning formula?” asked Debbie, with a huge grin on her face and more than just a little happy at being back in her rightful position: behind the counter at the diner. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was early Saturday morning and Brian had woken up in a cold sweat, his head pounding and with his stomach churning and it wasn’t a hangover. He’d had a nightmare; the same one he used to have as a kid: the one where he was in the car accident where his earth parents were killed and he wondered why it should come back to bother him now: after all this time. This wasn’t the first nightmare he’d had in the last few days. In the other one he saw Justin’s face: beautiful blue eyes and trademark smile beaming at him. But then gradually, the blond’s expression changed to one of surprise, then fear and then pain and he heard him cry out as the first blow landed. And he’d wake up suddenly: as if hearing Justin’s voice calling out to him. Over the last few days, an increasing feeling of unease slowly crept over Brian: something was wrong; something was out of kilter, but he didn’t know what it was. He had a weird sense of anticipation; as if waiting for the axe to fall; for the world to cave in: something so monumental that it would change everything forever. But at the moment, he had no idea at all what that event might be. And now, this Saturday morning, he got up, shaved, showered and dressed and went out for breakfast at the diner. But the headache he’d woken up with hadn’t quit, despite the Advil he’d taken and the churning in his stomach wouldn’t let up either. Maybe he was actually hungry: he’d been so busy this week he’d hardly had time to stop for food, or much of an appetite for that matter. So maybe that was it, but the feeling in his gut was more like one of trepidation than hunger. Debbie was doing the early morning shift and as Brian ordered his meal she noticed how he tilted his head from side to side as if he had a stiff neck he was trying to loosen up. “You okay honey?” she asked him. “I won’t ask you how you slept … though I should probably ask you where …” and she grinned as she poured him his coffee. Brian made a face; in actual fact he’d spent last night alone at the loft: it was still his place of sanctuary and only one other person knew of its existence. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Daphne’s internship had now ended and she was working at the paper full time, leaving her no time for any shifts at the diner. But she continued to drop by and kept in contact with Brian and the rest of the gang: she was expected to keep Justin informed of what was going on and besides, she enjoyed their company. She was also a good contact to have at the paper; should any nosey newshound start to take a closer interest in the gay crusader: she could warn Brian to take care. And now she’d received an email from Justin to say what flight he’d be on as he was coming home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jennifer and Daphne were waiting at the airport to collect him: he’d been in touch with them both and they all agreed that Justin would move in with Daph on his return from Switzerland, to give him breathing space before he met up with his Father. Though in the young man’s heart of hearts he was hoping that once back home he would be with Brian and live with him: but that was probably still a long way off. Daphne took herself off to do some shopping and left Justin and his Mom in the coffee shop to catch up and then Jennifer dropped them both off at Daphne’s apartment with the luggage he’d brought with him: his artwork shipped separately and following on. “It’s so good to have you back,” his Mom had told him. “And I can’t believe how much you’ve changed. You’re not my little boy any more … you’re a grown man!” and Justin smiled at the tears that threatened to spill from his Mom’s eyes and he gave her a big hug. Daphne showed him to the spare room and helped him unpack a few of his things and they talked as they did so: most of Justin’s questions concerning Brian and Daph couldn’t help smiling and even started to count the number of times he mentioned the man’s name. “That’s 12 … so far …” and she grinned at him and he tickled her: chasing her back out into the kitchen. They talked while they ate and then Justin turned in for a nap: he had some further catching up to do later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Despite it being the weekend, Brian went into Kinnetik. He actually liked being there alone and he worked throughout the day completing a presentation: something he did often. The odd feeling in his stomach had continued; it was almost like he was nervous about something: the way his gut continually did somersaults and he’d started to get shivers and actually once or twice looked around him to make sure no one was there. It was so very strange, this feeling: as if he was being watched. Eventually, around 5:00 and having completed his task, he crashed out on the sofa in his office for a few hours; intending to then go home to shower and change before going out to Babylon. And that’s when the dreams started again. Justin was calling his name and afterwards Brian swore he must have been awake, it had seemed so real. And when he did wake, it had got dark in the office: an eerie light forming shadows against the walls. And the feeling of guilt at not being able to protect Justin as he should have swept over him once more and he wondered what it meant that thoughts of Justin were now permeating his sleep. Brian stretched out his limbs; trying to shake off this feeling of unease and slowly, he closed up the office and headed back to the loft. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leaving Justin sleeping, Daph went out to the movies with a friend; a young man, but not as a date and as she returned and was about to turn in for the night, she caught sight of Justin in his room and she pushed open the door. “Wow … my God, Justin … when did you get to be that hot!” and he turned and grinned at her and then looked back at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a tight white tee and dark navy pants and the exercise and working out he’d done while in Switzerland had certainly paid off: he wasn’t particularly over muscular for his frame, but was now very nicely defined and very much appreciated by his new roomie. “I started working out …” said Justin, by way of explanation and he picked up his jacket. “Where are you off to dressed like that?” asked Daphne and Justin looked back at her with an expression that said ‘do you really need to ask?” “Brian,” said Daphne: answering her own question. “Well,” said Justin. “It’s 11:45 on a Saturday night … so the chances are he’s gonna be at …” “Babylon” they said in unison and Daphne disappeared into her own room and then came out again and met him in the hall: she gave him a key. “Here … you better have this … ” Justin reached out and took it. “Thanks,” and he took the key and pocketed it: giving her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was the usual Saturday night crowd and Brian had almost cried off; unable to shake off this odd feeling he’d had all day, but in the end decided that a few drinks and a blowjob would probably fix him up. The young man he was dancing with looked vaguely familiar: blond hair, blue eyes and cute and definitely up for the back room whenever Brian gave the word. It had been a busy week; in fact every week was busy and he was pretty beat, Brian admitted to himself; what with work and being out on the streets practically every night as the clubs closed; making sure everyone was getting home safely and then meeting up with tricks he’d made previous arrangements with. And now the alcohol seemed to be taking effect and he shook his head: unsure of what he’d seen. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin had entered the club and then stood still: taking in the scene and he smiled to himself. Nothing much had changed; still the thumpa thumpa of that gay beat; much like any gay club he’d ever been to: here or in Switzerland. He tried looking over the heads of the crowd, but he couldn’t see the man he was looking for so he trotted up the steps to the gallery so that he could look down on the dance floor below. It wasn’t long before he spotted him; eyes closed, the cute blond he was with had his back to him and was leaning against him: the two men gyrating to the beat together. And just as Justin turned to head back down the steps; that was the moment Brian suddenly opened his eyes; an overwhelming feeling of some unexplained compulsion to do so right at that moment and he shook his head: trying to clear his mind and then suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. Brian could feel his heart beating fit to bust and was now rooted to the spot and the young man with him turned round to see what the problem was and was startled by the look of shock on Brian’s face. “What the fuck’s up with you?” he asked him, but the older man couldn’t speak and his dancing partner grabbed his hand. “Wanna go to the back room?” he asked him; trying to get some sort of reaction and he started to move off, but Brian pulled his hand away. Shocked and disappointed by the rejection, the kid mumbled something about Brian being a “fucking asshole” and walked off: leaving Brian standing in the middle of the dance floor. Justin walked towards him: seemingly in slow motion as Brian watched. Everyone else seemed to be dancing as normal; the blond carving his way interminably slowly through a sea of gyrating bodies that moved apart for him: taking an eternity to cross the dance floor and then the blond started to smile one of his widest smiles as he approached him. “Hello Brian …” Brian blinked at the man who stood before him. Where was the kid he’d said goodbye to four years ago: the kid who’d clung to him: not wanting to leave? He’d gone away a boy and returned a man: someone who stood before him looking every bit the strong and confident adult he’d become: a wonderful, beautiful man. “Justin …” Brian’s voice was barely audible over the sound of the music and the younger man searched Brian’s expression for evidence of how he felt at his sudden arrival. Shock was clearly registered on the older man’s face; shock, bewilderment and also, it seemed, a little fear. For fear indeed struck Brian’s heart at the sight of Justin. Fear for Justin’s safety now back in Pittsburgh and fear of not being able to keep his distance from him and losing his heart to the blond now standing before him. For if he allowed Justin back into his life then he was bound to get too close and he would be lost and how the fuck would he handle that? How would he ever be able to give Justin what he knew he was looking for without breaking the blond’s heart and probably his own in the process? “You’re looking great,” said Justin and he reached up to kiss the taller man and then pulled back: bewildered by the lack of response. “Brian?” Brian had taken a small step backwards and away from Justin’s advances. “I … I need the men’s room … why don’t I meet you at the bar?” he said to him and then Brian turned and walked away. Justin watched as Brian disappeared through the crowd and then scratched the back of his head in confusion before heading off and ordering himself and Brian’s drinks: finding Emmett and Ted at the bar. “Justin … we didn’t know you were coming home honey … how are you … it’s great to see you …” and Em and Ted each gave him a hug. “I’m great … thanks Em.” “Have you seen Brian?” asked Ted and Justin nodded. “He’s gone to use the men’s room?” “More like the back room …” mumbled Emmett and he glanced at Justin: not realising just how loudly he’d spoken. “Sorry Justin … but Brian …” Em let the words hang and Justin put his hand on the man’s arm. “It’s okay … I know what he’s like … I could hardly expect him to live like a monk while I was away …” and Justin picked up his beer and took a swallow and looked back in the direction that Brian had disappeared to. Several minutes later and Brian had still not appeared and Justin put his empty bottle back on the bar. “I’m gonna go look for him …” said the blond and Em smiled at him and then exchanged glances with Ted, who raised an eyebrow; knowing how disappointed Justin was bound to be if he found Brian with a trick: regardless of what he’d just said. Justin searched the men’s room and the back room and then returned to the dance floor: there was no sign of Brian. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some fucking super-hero: who the fuck was he trying to kid? Wasn’t he supposed to have special powers: to be faster and stronger than anyone else; to sense danger and be able to protect the community and yet he’d run scared: scared shitless from a 21 year old. Brian had fled back to the loft. He couldn’t face Justin: he wasn’t ready and he chuckled wryly to himself as he poured a shot of Beam. He’d had four years to prepare himself for this day: four years to get his head round how he felt about him and he still wasn’t ready. And when the pounding started on his door, he was hardly surprised: he’d been expecting it. Justin knew where to find him: he was bound to be at the loft and even though it had been four years, he found it easily. “I’m not going away, Brian … I’m not giving up …” Brian closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool metal door and then took a deep breath before straightening up and sliding open the door to come face to face with Justin. “Well … aren’t you going to ask me in?” said Justin, coolly and Brian hesitated before stepping aside and allowing him to enter and then slid the door closed behind him. “Why the fuck did you run out on me?” asked Justin and he walked to the middle of the floor and now watched Brian as the man went to sit on the sofa and picked up his glass from the coffee table: Brian briefly closing his eyes before shrugging and taking a swallow of his drink. “Why didn’t you answer my emails … didn’t you miss me?” continued Justin, quietly and he came around the sofa and stood in front of him and then immediately regretted having asked the question: knowing he was unlikely to get any sort of admission from the man. And then Karim’s word came back to him and Justin knew what he had to do: what he’d promised himself he’d do. “I missed you … every day …” “I still love you … and I know you love me … or at least you did …” “Justin …” Brian spoke at last, wanting to stop him: not wanting to hear the words, but the blond ignored his protestations and continued. “Someone told me I should never be ashamed of loving anyone and that you were either very courageous or a fool to let me go to Switzerland … so far away from you …” and Justin saw Brian look down into his glass: unwilling to look the blond in the face or challenge his words. “But I said you weren’t a fool … but that you were smart and successful … and beautiful … and loving … despite what you might think …” Brian got up from the sofa and went to the side table to refill his glass: keeping his back to Justin, who was desperate to reach out to him, despite the older man repeatedly turning away from him. “And that you loved me … even if you couldn’t tell me … like you didn’t think it was possible to ever love anyone …” “And what else did this ‘someone’ tell you?” asked Brian, coldly: annoyed at his feelings being discussed with a third party, but at the same time, realising Justin’s need to be able to talk to someone. Justin sighed and softened his tone. “He told me to tell you how I feel and that … when the time was right … you’d be able to tell me … that you loved me too” and Justin had quietly walked up behind him and put his hand on the man’s shoulder and Brian closed his eyes at the younger man’s touch: a shiver going up his spine. “Just … don’t be too long about it …” said Justin quietly and without another word, he turned and left. Brian let out a deep sigh: relieved that Justin had gone and he threw the contents of his glass down his throat in one swallow. What was it he’d thought: what he’d asked himself? What was real love: The sort that leaves you breathless when you hear your name on the other person's lips: that makes your heart skip a beat when they walk into the room or when you feel like you've received an electric shock when they touch you? Well, now Brian knew. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin had been back several days and still hadn’t made contact with either his Father or again with Brian. But now he’d graduated, he wanted to be able to support himself and knew he should start looking for a job as well as catch up with all his old friends. “SUNSHINE!” Debbie took him into a huge bear hug: practically knocking the breath from him, when he ventured into the diner. “Well … look at you!” she exclaimed: now standing back to look at him and Justin grinned at her. “How are you Debbie … I hear you have a new man in your life …” and Debbie grinned back at him: obviously Daphne had been filling him in. “That’d be Carl … he’s a terrific guy … come over to dinner soon and you can meet him,” and Justin nodded. “Yeah … I’d like that” and he took a seat at the counter. “Well … this place hasn’t changed much,” he observed: looking around him and Debbie chuckled, but without any humour. “Not for the want of trying …” “So I hear,” replied Justin and he looked at Debbie. “I also heard how Brian saved the day …” and his knowing look told Debbie that Daphne had certainly been keeping Justin well informed of events back in Pittsburgh. “Have you seen him?” Debbie asked and then immediately knew the answer by the expression on Justin’s face. “I’ve seen him,” he replied and Debbie frowned. “Still the same old same old?” she asked him and Justin shrugged. “He still won’t tell me how he really feels … even after I open myself up to him … he can’t say it”. “He will honey … just be patient,” said Debbie and she patted him on the arm. “But in the meanwhile … do you want your old job back?” she asked him and grinned at how Justin’s face lit up: it was wonderful to see that sunshine smile again. “Sure,” answered Justin. “But I will need to be looking around … I want to use my art … ” “That’s okay kiddo … a talent like yours shouldn’t be serving up burgers and fries all day … but until that job comes along …” and she picked up the apron from under the counter and tossed it to him and Justin grinned: it was good to be back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian took the black velvet jewellery bag from the bottom drawer of his nightstand and removed the crystal: setting it down on his altar and he passed his hand over it. He’d had the overriding impression over the last couple of days that his parents had wanted to speak with him and in just a few moments and after the blinding light faded, they were there: in the room with him. Jack and Joan had sensed Brian’s confusion over Justin’s return: knowing how much their son had feelings for the younger man, even though he’d never told them. But they also knew the danger that lay ahead should Brian allow himself to become close to someone: how it could put them both at risk. They told him to be careful, but that in the end, he should search inside himself and follow his heart and Brian sighed: asking himself when had he ever allowed himself to do that. For the first time in many, many months, Brian sought out Cheng’s advice; the older man surprised but pleased that Brian had come to him: the student, once again seeking the wisdom of the master. “Seek the truth that lies inside you” Cheng had told him and he patted the younger man’s arm and then pulled two chairs out into the middle of the room. “Here … sit with me” and they sat opposite each other: feet placed on the ground and ready for their meditation. “Close your eyes,” Cheng instructed. “Concentrate on your breathing … focussing on each individual breath …” Inhale slowly … exhale slowly … “Relax … picture in your mind a narrow walkway … enclosed by blank, clean walls. Now … walk down this pathway until you come to an opening. It may be a door … or a gate … or a just a break in the wall, but go through this opening and you will find yourself in a deep, quiet and safe open space. It may feel like a forest or a cave or a valley ... whatever is safe for you … somewhere that is safe for you to sit down and wait …” and Cheng paused to allow Brian to concentrate on his breathing: allowing himself to be taken to this place and then Cheng continued. “The place you have chosen is very quiet and is all yours … a place no one else is aware of ... a place where no one expects anything from you … where you can allow yourself to sit quietly as long as you like … and when you are ready you will become aware of another presence near to you. It knows you are there and is bringing you various messages”. “Whatever you have been seeking, this presence is aware of it and has a feeling to share with you … it has an essence to give you that will make you aware of the answers to your own questions”. “Ask it any question you may have … ask it to please answer you in whatever way it is able … but do not be afraid to ask for its help … but then wait … an answer will come to you … you will feel the answer inside yourself”. “Always know you are safe with each question you ask and each answer you receive … stay with your thoughts in this place until you are ready to return … knowing you can return here at any time … to come back for new answers or to reaffirm the feelings you have just received. Thank those that came to you this day and acknowledge the feelings that are part of you”. “Hold dear your sense of instinct and intuition …for they are the conscious source of this intuition … allow them to become part of your life and trust your inner instincts … they will not let you down”. “As you prepare to leave this place you’ve created … remember … it is your sacred place now and you can return often to gather more information for all your life”. “Walk back through the opening and back down the long pathway. You may be moving slightly more quickly now … and anxious to awaken with your new sense of yourself … anxious to see how this will become part of your life … knowing you will always be in touch with this inner messenger and you can trust the answers that came to you”. “Now … breathe deeply and come back to the present …” and Brian did as he was instructed and slowly, he opened his eyes; knowing at last that he was safe to ask the questions he’d been avoiding: questions that only he could answer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was just after 1:00 in the morning and the man walking his little dog suddenly found himself confronted with a stranger. He didn’t usually walk his dog this late, but had been at a friend’s house and got back later than he meant to and had taken his normal route down Liberty Avenue. They usually only attacked now in three’s: their boss determined not to give up his relentless assaults on the community, despite the opposition and seeing this lone man and his dog, a certain amount of bravado overtook the attacker and he’d left his colleagues in the car and approached the man on his own. “Nice little doggie …” said the man menacingly and he chuckled at his intended victim’s nervousness as he picked up his dog and tucked her under his arm for protection. “I don’t want any trouble mister …” and the man and his dog started to back away, but he wasn’t allowed to get very far. “Then your kind should keep off the streets and go back under your rock … where you belong,” and the victim was pushed roughly on the shoulder and sent toppling backwards. “What kind is that?” said the man stepping out of the shadows and the attacker turned to face him: confused by who he found challenging him. This wasn’t the guy he’d come up against before. This man was shorter and of smaller build and blond and he had a vague recollection that he’d seen him some place before and pulling himself up to his full height, the attacker was a good few inches taller and surely had nothing to fear. He swung his fist, but was grabbed neatly by the wrist and twisted around with his hand now up behind his back. Immediately, the car doors opened and the man’s accomplices headed in their direction and the blond was grabbed from behind: an arm around his throat. Forced to let go of the first man, Justin grabbed the arm around his throat, lent forward and managed to bring his attacker over his shoulder and onto the ground in front of him; but that’s when the fist caught him on the cheekbone and he went staggering backwards before recovering and launching himself at the man who’d hit him. Feet and fists flew as Justin turned on the spot and launched a kick at the man’s chest and sent him flying backwards. The two other assailants looked at each other: three against one, it really shouldn’t be much of a competition and they were right. They were no match for Justin, who seemed to be gaining the upper hand against the three men, but the onlooker who’d stood watching for the last few moments wasn’t going to take any chances. He moved quickly to the victim and having assured himself the man was relatively unharmed, sent him on his way and then, with lightening speed, Brian joined in the fray. Justin had successfully fought off all the men: sending them crashing to the ground. But one had recovered more quickly: forcing Justin to defend himself and the man was sent sprawling. Brian fixed his stare on the other two men and with a power indescribable, they were suddenly propelled backwards and several feet above the ground, to land in a heap in front of their car. Justin grinned at Brian and then turned his attention back to the third man who was crouching on the ground, intending to launch himself at Justin, but now he faced two men he changed his mind. Getting to his feet, he quickly turned on his heel and headed for the car: the other two men scrambling to get inside and the vehicle was started and the car raced off. “What the fuck do you think you were doing?” asked Brian. But before Justin could answer him, a window above them flew open and a voice yelled down to them. Not wanting to wake up the whole neighbourhood, Brian grabbed Justin by the arm. “Come on … let’s get out of here before we attract too much attention” and together they took off down the alley. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Ouch,” exclaimed the younger man. “You’ll live,” came the curt response. “Now … I’ll ask you again … what the fuck were you doing?” Brian and Justin were sitting at the table in the loft; Brian had a bowl of warm water and antiseptic in front of him and had bathed the cut along Justin’s cheekbone. “Helping you protect Liberty Avenue …” came the reply and Justin looked Brian directly in the eye. So, he knew, realised Brian. But then again the mask and skin-tight outfit should have been a giveaway. “That was dumb …” observed the older man, but then he sat back in his seat and for the first time since Justin returned to Pittsburgh, he closely studied the blond sitting alongside him. “But you actually looked to be handling yourself pretty good. Where did you learn all that … and when did you start working out?” he asked him and Justin grinned: Brian had obviously noted the change in his body and saw the approving look in his eye. “While I was in Switzerland … I took self-defence and combat training classes … he was a very good teacher …” and Brian saw the twinkle in Justin’s startlingly blue eyes and nodded: knowing exactly what the nature of Justin’s instruction had been. “But why would you do that … is it because …” Brian hesitated and Justin completed his sentence for him. “I got bashed? Partly … but also because I want to help you … why not?” Justin asked, as Brian was shaking his head. “It’s too dangerous …” “You said I could handle myself …” “When I was back up,” observed Brian. “Even without you,” challenged Justin and Brian saw the determination in his eye and the fear for Justin’s safety rose within him again. “You could get hurt …” Justin reached out and ran his finger along Brian’s jaw line. “Let’s not fight … I can think of a much better way to use our energy …” and he leaned forward and kissed Brian on the mouth. Brian’s automatic reaction was to back away; knowing that once he’d allowed himself to be lured to that place there would be no escape. But the question he asked himself now was did he want to and, try as he might, he couldn’t pull away and felt himself falling: his stomach doing somersaults as Justin deepened the kiss. Four years since the blond had left and Brian knew that during that time, no one else had ever come close and no one else probably would and suddenly, Brian stood and, picking Justin up bodily, moved to the bedroom. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He wanted to slow down; savour this moment forever, but the desire to touch skin only urged Brian on even more quickly as he tore at Justin’s clothing; trying to remove them as quickly as possible. And now, both naked and with Justin on his back and Brian kneeling above him, at last did the older man slow down and he leaned forward to kiss the blond: feeling Justin’s fingers running through his hair. Brian straightened up and then leaned over to the nightstand to retrieve the condom and lube and Justin grinned as their same routine was repeated from all that time before: Brian opening the packet with his teeth and passing the contents to Justin, who rolled it onto the other man’s dick and then Brian applied a generous amount of lube to both of them, but then he moved back down the bed. “On your knees …” he whispered and Justin blinked. Brian usually liked to fuck him face to face rather than doggie-style, but at that moment, whatever the man wanted, Justin was happy to go along with and turning over, he pushed himself up on to his knees. Expecting Brian to start to fuck him in that position, Justin was startled when the man put his arm around his waist and hauled him upright and backwards and then set him down into his lap: Justin slowly becoming impaled on Brian’s cock. The blond moaned loudly as Brian began his thrusts; amazed at the strength the man had; fucking him in that position and Justin leaned backwards so that his head lay on Brian’s shoulder and he turned to look at him and Brian managed to plant a kiss on his mouth as they continued to fuck. Justin raised his right arm over his shoulder and reached around: his hand on the back of Brian’s head. His left hand he placed on Brian’s thigh and matching his thrusts; Justin using his own body weight to take the man in further, he urged him in deeper and deeper: their bodies bathed in sweat. Brian had his left arm around Justin’s chest and held him tightly against him, but he then reached around and his right hand now travelled down the blond’s chest, over his stomach and into the coarse, damp hair: seeking Justin’s cock. The moan died in Justin’s throat as Brian began to stroke him: both of them now nearing orgasm. To have the blond back in his arms and back in his bed, Brian knew now what it was like to be fulfilled, but still didn’t have the courage to tell him, despite knowing how desperately Justin wanted to hear the words and hearing the voice within him. How could he: he’d only just started to believe he could feel like this himself. And as they climaxed; simultaneously and with the younger man clenching and heightening Brian’s orgasm; they came: Brian filling the condom and Justin shooting spurts of cum onto the bedding. They both knew there could never be anything like this with anyone else: that the connection they both felt for each other ran deeper than anything either of them could ever have with other men. They belonged with each other: they fitted together perfectly. Not just with their bodies, but with their minds and their souls: so far unspoken by Brian, but nevertheless, a bond that would never be broken. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The intensity of the sex was replaced by tender kisses and Justin was sure Brian was telling him everything he needed to know. And, as they now lay spooned together, the older man stroked Justin’s hair as the blond sighed: sleep just moments away. “I missed you too,” whispered Brian. To be continued. Acknowledgement: http://www.learningmeditation.com/