Out of the Shadows Book 1: The Student - Chapter 4: Stephen watched Brian as he slept; the younger man’s face relaxed and so very beautiful in the low light. He should really wake him up so he could go home, but they had both been exhausted. The sex they shared, Stephen knew, was progressing beyond something that was purely physical and towards a meeting of mind and spirit as well as bodies. Everything Stephen knew he’d passed on to Brian and he’d marvelled at how the young man had absorbed all there was to know, even surprising Stephen with the depth of his sensuality; his appetite to explore everything overwhelming. A sensuality that in actual fact had taught Stephen a little about himself; how he was capable of feeling and for the first time, Stephen now felt scared. The code that he’d lived by was in danger of being smashed to pieces as he realised how, over the course of the weeks they’d been meeting, his feelings for Brian were developing. He’d never allowed himself to feel like this before about anyone, but there was something so very special about the beautiful young man lying beside him. Stephen desperately wanted to take him in his arms and kiss him; to shield him and protect him from anyone who would wish him harm, but that was not part of the plan. It was time he was moving on; he had to, before it was too late. Before his feelings could no longer be ignored and Stephen watched Brian sleeping until he too fell asleep beside him. When they woke it was nearly dawn and time for Brian to leave. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “His bed hasn’t been slept in again,” said Joan Kinney worriedly, as she got back into her own bed beside her husband. She’d woken around 4:00 and had gone to check on Brian, but it was obvious he’d not been home. “Don’t worry … he’s in good hands …” Jack tried to reassure her, but Joan was taking some convincing. “Of course I’m worried … we may have trust in the Elders to know what they are doing … but he’s still my son … he’s still a young man capable of being hurt,” and Jack put his arm around Joan’s shoulders as she snuggled up to him. Brian was her son. It didn’t matter one bit how that had come about, but to all intents and purposes, he was her offspring and she loved him with all her heart. Around 6:00 they heard the car draw up and Joan got out of bed to look out of the window. She saw Brian pull around the side of the house and breathed a sigh of relief; Thank God he was home and she listened carefully and heard her son creep up the stairs and go into his room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian didn’t bother undressing but just lay down on top of the bedclothes. He allowed his mind to drift off; reliving the night he’d shared with Stephen. He couldn’t be sure of course, but he thought the man had feelings for him. He doubted he would ever say as much, but it was in his touch and his kiss and the way he said Brian’s name. And all thoughts of his long ago encounter with his soccer coach had been dispelled from Brian’s mind. It was nothing compared to what he shared with Stephen: what the man had taught him, about himself as much as how to pleasure someone else. Brian was spending so much time with Stephen that he knew he’d been neglecting Mikey and his friend had been more than just a little pissed with him at having been abandoned at Babylon that night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mikey had waited around, but had missed seeing Brian and Stephen leave and in the end had given up and walked home and then the following day, Brian had turned up at the Novotny’s as they were about to start dinner. “What the fuck happened to you last night?” Michael had demanded, unable to hide his annoyance and Brian barely inside the door. “I went back to Stephen’s … “ admitted Brian. “Stephen … huh?” and Michael turned his back on him to walk away, but Brian reached out his hand to stop him and turned his friend around to face him. “Mikey … don’t be like this … isn’t that really why we went there? It could have been you who’d met someone …” “You really think so … that someone would choose me over you?” asked Michael, trying to disguise his jealousy. “Of course,” answered Brian, and he put his arms around Michael and pulled him in: kissing him on the mouth. “You are hot you know … “ and he smiled at him. Michael sighed; why was it Brian seemed to be able to say and do anything and all he had to do was smile and he’d forgive him. “Are you going to see him again?” Mikey asked him and Brian nodded. “Definitely”. “Then is he … is he your boyfriend?” continued Mikey, his heart sinking in his chest, but Brian had merely shrugged. “I’m not really sure … we’ve only just met … “ and then he leaned forward and held on to his friend’s shoulder and whispered in his ear, “but you won’t believe what we did last night …” and Brian pulled back and grinned at him. Michael made a face. “Don’t tell me … I don’t want to know” and now smiling, he jokingly pushed him away. “Brian … you staying for dinner?” yelled Debbie from the kitchen and Brian looked at Michael for confirmation; he didn’t have to wait long as Michael nodded. “Thanks Debbie,” replied Brian and he and Michael moved into the kitchen to join her. It still seemed a little strange, calling his friend’s Mom by her first name, but long ago she’d said to him “Let’s cut the Mrs. Novotny crap okay? … call me Debbie … everyone else does” and so Debbie it was. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Once Brian finished his studying and on the nights he wasn’t with Stephen, he usually went over to Mikey’s, where they would go up to his room and work their way through Michael’s large comic book collection or watch a video. When they went out, it was either to the movies or back to Babylon. Going to the dance club was mostly for Mikey’s benefit. Brian didn’t need to frequent the clubs to meet anyone; not with Stephen in his life, though he did enjoy the dancing and being on a crowded dance floor, surrounded by partly clothed young men. Michael couldn’t understand why Brian didn’t talk about Stephen any more or had never suggested he should meet him, even though he’d hinted at it constantly and he was curious to know what the older man could possibly offer his friend; apart from the obvious. But Brian had ignored Mikey’s heavy-handed hints at wanting to meet Stephen; he didn’t want to share the man with anyone. He didn’t know how long the relationship might last and wanted to hang on to every moment and have him all to himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian still wasn’t sure how his family made their money and it never really occurred to him to ask. But his Father did seem to take an interest in several local businesses and had apparently put money into one owned by a member of their small circle of friends. Marty Ryder owned a successful Pittsburgh Advertising Agency and during a small dinner party one evening before Brian left high school, had said he was sure he could offer Brian a position if he was interested once he’d graduated and had even helped him put together his college application. Up until then, Brian hadn’t really any idea which path he would follow, but successfully signed up to several advertising and related courses, including Business Ethics, Business Strategy, Defining the Brand and Marketing. His parents had encouraged him; until the time to undertake his true destiny, Brian would need to focus on something and what better than in an industry dealing with the publics’ perception. Whether it was representing a product or an ideal that reached out to them. An ideal that was presented in such a way that allowed it to be unthreatening and perfectly acceptable. And now well into the college year, Brian’s studies were going well and if he continued like this then he was bound to graduate with honours and life seemed wonderful. But then suddenly, Brian felt a slight shift in his relationship with Stephen, almost as if the man was starting to distance himself from him. The sex was still as hot and as satisfying as it had ever been and he was still learning from the man; drawing on his experience to enhance his own, but there seemed to be something a little cold about him now. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They’d spent the previous night together and Brian managed to get just enough sleep before heading off to class, but for the first time, when they’d parted, Stephen hadn’t mentioned when they should meet again. Brian just assumed this was an oversight and that he would go there again tonight; after all, Stephen hadn’t said not to. Stephen opened the door at the second knock and couldn’t hide the look of surprise on his face to find Brian standing there and Brian was taken aback by the man’s off-hand attitude. “What are you doing here … we never made any arrangements …” “I know,” answered Brian. “But you didn’t say not to come over …” and he grinned and walked passed Stephen into the man’s apartment and that’s when he noticed the suitcase just inside the door. Stephen knew Brian must have seen the suitcase; it was too large to miss and he closed the door and turned around to look at the younger man, dreading what was coming next. “Are you going somewhere?” asked Brian, confused and with his heart pounding as he waited for Stephen’s response. “I’m leaving town,” came the quiet reply and Brian frowned. “Where are you going … how long will you be gone?” Stephen ran his fingers through his hair and turned away. He hadn’t wanted to face Brian like this; he hadn’t had the guts to say goodbye. “Stephen?” Brian moved towards him and caught hold of the man by the arm and turned him around to face him. “You were leaving … without even saying goodbye?” and still, Stephen couldn’t answer him. “But why … what about us … what we have … what we do here … were you just going to walk away … like it counts for nothing?” And with the silence heavy in the room, Brian asked finally; “What about me?” Stephen reached out to brush the younger man’s cheek with the back of his hand. “I have to leave … in a few weeks … you’ll forget all about me …” Brian stepped away from him: his eyes blazing with anger. “No I won’t … I’ll never forget about you … but I bet it won’t take you five minutes to forget all about me”. “Well fuck you!” and Brian turned on his heel and rushed to the door. “Brian … stop”. Brian had gotten to the door and was just about to open it, but instead he stopped and leaned against it and Stephen moved up behind him. “Brian … you don’t understand … my work here is done now and I …” “Work?” Brian turned around quickly to face him. “What the fuck are you talking about … what do you mean … work?” and Stephen closed his eyes and made to turn away; Christ, he was making a mess of this and then Brian moved around in front of him. “Are you talking about me?” asked Brian. “What am I … some pet project you’ve been working on?” and he faced the man square on. “So … what was it … find some … some willing virgin and fuck their brains out … make pretend it’s all wonderful … something special … when all the time you’ve just been getting your rocks off … making a fool of me?” Stephen shook his head. How he wanted to tell him that their time together had been the most special of his life and that he had to leave before he was tempted to stay too long. But Stephen couldn’t tell him that. He couldn’t let him think he cared; Brian would expect too much of him. He’d completed what he’d been instructed to and had to move on; it wasn’t up to him to tell Brian the truth. “You’re right … I don’t understand …” said Brian; searching Stephen’s face for the real explanation for his leaving, but found none and with his eyes glistening, Brian turned and opened the door and not waiting for the elevator, ran down the stairs and back to his car. Stephen slowly closed the door and swallowed; sending Brian away and allowing him to think he didn’t care, was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian’s fury at Stephen’s treatment of him spilled over into life at home and college. He’d come away from Stephen’s apartment angry and convinced he’d been used by a man who’d only been looking for kicks and he’d been dumb enough to fall for it. Sure, the sex had been the most incredible experience of Brian’s life; Stephen had showed him things he’d otherwise never have known and he’d become capable of feeling more than he’d dreamt of, but the feeling of being used and cast aside wouldn’t go away; so maybe Stephen hadn’t been that much different to his soccer coach after all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Months passed and Joan and Jack were becoming more and more worried about their son’s behaviour and the wisdom of the Elders they revered so much and now even Brian’s grades were beginning to slip a little. He was out practically every night and often came home more than just a little drunk. The anger that was still so obviously locked inside him wouldn’t go away and they knew some avenue had to be found of channelling that anger into something more positive. How was it possible that the depth of Brian’s feelings; feelings so terribly hurt, would be so badly underestimated? They obviously had so much still to learn about these people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The flyer advertising the White Dragon School of Martial Arts dropped into the mailbox, offering instruction on Kyudo, Yudo, Judo, Aikido, Yusool, Jujitsu, Hapkido and Karate. Brian liked the idea of a new challenge; he liked to keep fit and the thought of concentrating his mind on something totally new appealed to him. Tu Chin Cheng was a man in his fifties and a life-long devotee of his art; his mind and body belying his age and was as alert, fit and supple now as he was in his twenties and the first thing he taught Brian was respect; respect for himself and for an enemy. It wasn’t long before Cheng recognised the level of commitment Brian was willing to undertake and between them, they decided the most suitable discipline to be followed; incorporating shin, gin and tai; for the mind, body and spirit. “Ideally, there should never be the need for confrontation … violence is never the answer … but for when it is not possible to withdraw and walk away, I will teach you the physical techniques to ensure your personal safety … through the ability to defend yourself against attackers and also to achieve some very remarkable feats of physical prowess …but forget everything you’ve seen in the movies,” Cheng told Brian. “Martial arts isn’t just about smashing things … after all … bricks don’t hit back and unfortunately, in 30 years I have never been able to pause in mid-air … or stand on the branch of a tree”. “But what I have discovered and what I will teach you is the understanding of the fundamentals of the human condition … the “doh” … the Way … and that isn’t just the physical techniques that you will study and train in … but the Way of the martial arts … understanding the truth and the reality of life as it is by living it.” Cheng introduced Brian to meditation: to look inside himself, but to be open to forces still to be understood. “It is important to have your own place … a sanctuary where you can meditate … a place you can go to when you need to be alone … and you will need to be alone.” Concentrating his mind and improving his physical condition had the calming effect necessary to allow Brian to put away the anger he’d felt for Stephen’s treatment of him and to move on. It takes years to perfect the techniques of the Masters, but as Cheng watched him move; almost cat-like, he could see in Brian someone who could, in time, accomplish great feats of physical and mental strength. He was undoubtedly, the perfect scholar. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “To have your own place …” Brian had been thinking about Cheng’s words for a little while, but had now come to a decision. With his allowance, which had always been reasonably generous, if he got himself a part-time job, he should be able to afford a little apartment. It wouldn’t be much; just a couple of rooms, but it would be entirely his own space. Besides, he needed a place of his own to bring guys back to. He’d already stayed at home a lot longer than he’d intended and the back room at Babylon or his car weren’t exactly ideal and it would be easier to tell his parents he was gay if he wasn’t living under their roof; Brian didn’t feel comfortable enough to bring anyone back to his room. Brian announced he was leaving home at the breakfast table on Sunday morning. He’d been scouring the local papers and found somewhere suitable. It was only one large room, but with its own bathroom and kitchen and it was in reasonable order and not too expensive. He’d also got himself a part-time job; stacking shelves at the Big Q; alongside Mikey. Joan had looked at her husband who smiled at her; understanding exactly what was going through her mind and Joan suppressed a sigh. Time was moving on; the need to begin Brian’s teaching was getting closer, but she understood his desire to be independent; to assert himself as an adult and Joan tried to hold back the tears. Time was so short; she would only have Brian for a few more years and then they would have to leave. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mikey helped Brian move his things into the apartment and realised he too should probably be thinking of leaving home. But at least his Mom knew he was gay and had told him that as long as he didn’t bring tricks back after midnight, she didn’t mind if he entertained at home. She was longing for her son to find himself a nice boyfriend; someone who would give him everything that Brian couldn’t, but finding a boyfriend was easier said than done, especially if you weren’t really looking for one. At Cheng’s suggestion, Brian arranged his room to allow for his meditation, incorporating a comfortable chair by the window with a small table by its side to use as an altar and on which to place a plant: something living, a candle and a favourite book and a few treasured, personal objects. “These objects will change,” Cheng told him. “As you go through life … different things will become important to you. You are still young … things that are special now, may not be so in a few years from now” and Brian placed on the table a photograph of his parents and one of himself taken with Mikey. Now on his own in the apartment, Brian sat in the chair and took from his pocket the rainbow coloured Serenity beads Cheng had given him; going over the older man’s words in his mind. “Hold something while you meditate … it helps you to focus your thoughts and energies … slide a finger through the loop and cradle the beads in your hand.” “Touch the objects that mean so much to you … let them connect with you … your spirit and your soul … acknowledge what they mean to you.” “And if possible, find a place outdoors … outside the confines of your room … connect with it … understand why you chose it”. “Whether you are inside or out, pause by your altar every morning and again during the day and touch the belongings precious to you … but wherever your place of sanctuary may be, when you enter that place you will be preparing your whole body and soul … you will respond to it and be more ready for the meditation time you give yourself”. Physical exercise always left Brian on a high; stimulating his mind as well as his body and with the episode involving Stephen well behind him, Brian’s college studies soon picked up. And then there was the sex. Brian and Mikey were spending as much time at Babylon as they could, given Brian’s college and both of their work commitments. And though the sex Brian had with the tricks he picked up never reached the level he shared with Stephen, there was no shortage of guys willing to give themselves to the tall, good-looking young man with hazel eyes and Brian’s appetite for sex was increasing along with his physical prowess. Brian now felt he had more direction in his life and had decided that he would seek an internship at the Ryder Advertising Agency, with a view to a permanent position once he’d graduated; as suggested by his Father’s friend. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The internship was going well and Marty took an interest in helping Brian as much as he could; after all, his Father had come along and put money in his business when things had been a little tight; something he’d always be grateful for. But it wasn’t just gratitude Marty was showing, Brian seemed to have a natural flair for advertising. He seemed to know instinctively what appealed to people and how to sell it, but he wasn’t afraid to tell the truth. “People don’t want to hear bullshit … they’re too cynical … they’ll see through it. Tell them how it is … warts and all … you’ll earn a lot more respect that way”. Marty’s team had looked shocked at Brian’s statement, once having been given permission to speak at one of their weekly meetings and more than one of them chuckled to themselves about the young man’s naivety. But to their surprise, Marty stood up for him. “Brian’s right … the public are getting too sophisticated … they want to know stats … they’re demanding more for their money. If we don’t tell them exactly how it is … someone else is bound to”. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Everyone wondered where Brian found his energy from, for as well as his course work, pursuing the martial arts, his internship AND still stocking shelves at the Big Q, Brian had continued with the college soccer team. Another member of the team, Glenn Purnell, had been seen around campus with a rather attractive tall, leggy blonde, who he introduced to Brian one lunch time, when he’d been called over to their table after he’d come in to the cafeteria. “Hi Brian … looking forward to the game tomorrow?” and he’d slapped Brian heartily on the back. Brian looked at him and forced a smile. “Sure … should be a good one … “ So far, only a few guys in college were aware Brian was gay; a knowledge usually gained by first hand experience and though Brian suspected not all the soccer team were as straight as they made out to be, Glenn was a jock; pure and simple; with the emphasis on the simple; barely scraping through on his grades to stay in school. But Brian couldn’t help staring at the blonde who, with her elbow resting on the table and supporting her chin in her hand, had tilted her face up to look at him as she listened to their conversation and even Brian had to admit she was quite something. “Brian Kinney … Lindsay Peterson … Lindsay’s an art major …” “Art huh?” said Brian, holding out his hand. “Well … I don’t know very much about art … but I know a masterpiece when I see it” and as Lindsay shook his hand, she couldn’t prevent the flush that spread from her neck into her face, but found herself grinning at him all the same. “Ah … Brian Kinney … the legendary soccer captain … I’ve heard quite a lot about you … “ she retorted: her tone low and sultry. “Nothing good I hope,” joked Brian and still holding Lindsay’s hand. Glenn had heard the rumours about Brian; had even seen him from time to time just a little too physically close to a few of the other guys on the campus, whispering in their ear and touching them when he didn’t think anyone else was around. But what the heck, Brian’s captaincy and goal-scoring abilities had taken them to the top, so what if the guy was gay. As long as they won the trophy, he could screw as many guys as he wanted: as long as he didn’t bother him. Which is why Glenn didn’t really notice how long Brian and Lindsay maintained physical contact: just that little bit too long. “Come on Lindz … I’ll walk you back to class …” and, reluctantly it seemed to both of them, Brian and Lindsay broke contact as Glenn placed an arm around Lindsay’s waist as the two of them walked off together. But Lindsay couldn’t resist looking back over her shoulder and smiling at Brian and Brian smiled and raised an eyebrow in return. No; surely not. He’d never considered it before, but than, after seeing Lindsay around campus quite regularly and finding themselves increasingly attending the same social events, they soon realised how comfortable they were together; talking to each other; sharing ideas and jokes, but neither of them admitting that there was obviously an attraction of sorts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With so much going on in his life, the college years seemed to be over so very quickly and with graduation this year, the soccer season was over and the Carnegie Mellon team were triumphant once again and the team dinner; whether they were the winning side or not, had been arranged in a rather smart Pittsburgh hotel. Brian, along with most of the team, had booked rooms so they could drink and not have to worry about getting home; the one aspect of following the martial arts that Brian struggled with; even by his own admission. But the burning question for Brian as the day loomed ahead, was who to take as his date. Andy Letwin would have been his first choice; a little shorter than himself, a track and field athlete and built to match; hot as hell and with dark smouldering eyes. But Andy, it would seem, was already well taken by a fellow athlete and couldn’t suppress his amusement at Brian’s shock at being knocked back whenever he approached him. Brian knew he was talked about; it was inevitable. With his looks and as captain of the soccer team, he should have girls fighting over him and whenever asked why he didn’t have a girlfriend in tow; he would just glare at them and say it was none of their goddamn business. But, as captain, there were certain expectations, but even Brian couldn’t believe his good fortune … and Glenn’s bad luck. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was the day that would decide the soccer championship and upon rising, Brian carried out a few exercises to loosen up before going out for a short run in the early morning sun and then showered on his return. Having dressed, he picked up the Serenity beads and sat down in the big, comfortable chair, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Holding the beads in his hands, he imagined walking to a special place; a beautiful meadow basked in sunshine and with spring flowers all around and Brian concentrated on his breathing. Inhale slowly; exhale slowly and Brian relaxed and allowed his mind to picture him sitting in that special place; noting its beauty and every detail around him. “The peace and tranquillity of the place you imagine will be part of its beauty … you will be part of its beauty” Cheng had informed him when first they had meditated together and Brian acknowledged the Master’s words. He concentrated on his breathing, believing how right it was that he should be in this place and with each breath, relaxing deeper into the scene; feeling the calm serenity for as long as he wanted; for as long as he needed to stay there. Knowing when it was right to leave, in his mind’s eye, Brian pictured himself getting up and walking back to his starting point; allowing his breathing to bring him back. Inhale slowly; exhale slowly. He paused, knowing that he could return to this place any time he wanted; if only for a moment, but that it would remind him of the sense of peace that was his. He opened his eyes, feeling the goodness of the mediation flow through him for a few moments. Now he was ready for the rigours of the day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wouldn’t you know it, Michael had to work and missed the game, but Jack and Joan sat excitedly in the crowd and glowing with pride. The teams were evenly matched 1:1, with Brian having scored the goal and then, ten minutes into the second half he heard the bone snap. In fact everyone in the stadium must have heard it; the reckless tackle followed by the sickening crunch and then Glenn’s anguished cry. His left leg was broken and Glenn was stretchered off and taken to hospital. Glenn’s loss was a devastating blow to the team, but it spurred them on even more and, five minutes from full-time, Brian scored the winning goal. After the game and after he’d been hugged by his Mom and Dad and taking his captain’s duties seriously, Brian immediately went to see how Glenn was doing and was pleasantly surprised to find Lindsay already at the bedside. “Hi Glenn … Lindsay … how’s it going?” “Hi Brian,” smiled Lindsay up at him and Brian noticed how she took her hand away from Glenn’s. “Can you believe my fucking luck?” spat Glenn. “Last game of the fucking season and that sonovabitch has to go and break my goddamn leg.” “But at least you have the consolation of knowing we beat the pants off them,” said Brian. “We whipped them?” asked Glenn excitedly and Brian smiled. “Of course,” as if there could ever be any doubt. “Just too bad you won’t be up to celebrating …” Glenn groaned. “I’m gonna be stuck in here for a day or two … while you guys get shitfaced at the dinner …” and then he remembered Lindsay. “Sorry Lindz … that you’re gonna miss the dinner … but I guess … Brian … do you have someone to go with? I mean … well … you know what I mean …” and he averted his eyes from Brian’s gaze. So, Glenn did know he was gay after all, otherwise he certainly wouldn’t be offering to allow him to escort his girlfriend to the celebratory dinner and Brian looked at Lindsay, wondering what her reaction might be. “Glenn … it’s not fair to put Brian on the spot like that …” “No … it’s no trouble,” interrupted Brian. “I mean … I mean I’d be honoured to take you to the dinner … if you want to go with me that is …” “That’s settled then … ouch … Christ … it hurts like a motherfucker …” and Glenn lay back on the pillows. “Are you sure you don’t mind me leaving you?” asked Lindsay and Glenn shook his head and smiled at her weakly. “I’m gonna have to ask the doc for some more painkillers soon … I’ll probably be out for the count before too long.” “No … you two go and get ready … and enjoy yourselves … but I want a full account … it should be one helluva'n evening …” Lindsay gave Glenn a quick peck on the check and then, slightly embarrassed, she smiled at Brian and together, they left Glenn’s hospital room. “Can I give you a lift home?” asked Brian. “Thanks,” answered Lindsay. “I have a place just off campus …” and twenty minutes later, Brian pulled up outside Lindsay’s door. “I’ll pick you up around 8:00,” said Brian as Lindsay got out of the car and he drove off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lindsay was breathtaking in a long, tight red dress with plunging neckline. And, with Brian in his tuxedo, they made a stunning couple. The meal was excellent, the alcohol flowed freely and the waiter was definitely cute and as he leaned closely over Brian’s shoulder to serve him his first course, Brian looked up at him and smiled. With the main course also now eaten, Brian refused desert; he had his mind on other delights and ten minutes later, he made an excuse to leave the table and followed the waiter back to the kitchens and was now manoeuvring him into the men’s room; pulling down the man’s pants and shorts and turning him around to face the wall of the cubicle. Returning to his table, Brian kept an eye on the young man, who returned his looks with a promise of more to come later in the evening, but the band was now playing; inviting couples onto the dance floor. Lindsay had laughed at all Brian’s jokes and now, dancing together, they were hard to ignore by the rest of the group and drew envious glances and, as the evening wore on, the more the two of them enjoyed each other’s company. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian was naked and lying on top of the bedclothes; the weak sunshine now entering the room through the open curtains and he groaned as he tried to lift his head up off the pillow, but it just had the effect of making the room spin around and around and so he lay back down again. A few minutes later, he tried again; this time managing to sit up and, as he did so, realised he wasn’t alone in the bed. He grinned, but when he pulled the sheet off the figure still asleep beside him, he had the shock of his life. “What the fuck …” Lindsay stirred at the sound of his voice and turned over; she opened her eyes. “Oh … my … God …” Never normally embarrassed and certainly not ashamed of his body, Brian felt suddenly very exposed under the gaze of the young woman clutching the sheet up under her chin, not knowing whether he should try and cover up or not, but in the end he grinned at her. “This isn’t funny … no way is this funny …” groaned Lindsay and she closed her eyes. “Well I think it’s pretty hilarious,” laughed Brian, but then Lindsay didn’t know the truth about him. “You do huh?” asked Lindsay, opening one eye. “Sure … but I guess you’re worried about Glenn finding out …” and Lindsay groaned even louder. “Fuck Glenn …” “I thought that’s what you usually did …” answered Brian, but Lindsay shook her head. “Actually … no … we never did …” and Brian stared at her, his eyes open wide in disbelief. “What … never?” and Lindsay shook her head again. “No … I always said I was saving myself …” and Brian started laughing even louder. Sitting up, Lindsay leaned over and gave him a playful slap on the arm. “You’ll be laughing on the other side of your face Brian Kinney …” she told him and Brian tried to pull himself together and looked at her questioningly. “Okay … if you’re not worried about Glenn … then what’s the problem?” “I’m a dyke,” answered Lindsay quietly and this time there was no holding back the laughter as Brian; trying to maintain some sort of dignity, managed to blurt out the words. “I’m a fag …” and now Lindsay looked at him and suddenly burst out laughing too. Now gaining some sort of control, Brian moved back up the bed and lay beside her; pulling the sheet up over him. “Was I any good?” he asked her, a slight smile playing on his lips and Lindsay looked back at him. “I wouldn’t know … I don’t remember …” “Ouch” and Brian put his hand on his heart and put on his most hurtful look, but Lindsay only sighed. “I guess we must have been pretty drunk,” she offered and Brian agreed. “I guess we must have. So … what are we going to do about this?” “Well,” answered the blonde. “I guess it never happened,” but Brian smiled. “That’s a pity … it could have been fun … to find out what gets straight people so fired up …” and he looked over at her; unable to disguise the mischief in his eyes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Graduation day and two more proud parents were impossible to find as Jack and Joan Kinney proudly watched their son receive the recognition he so richly deserved both as scholar and captain of a very successful soccer team; who would have guessed that Brian’s humble beginnings and abusive early childhood would instead be replaced by years of love, care and achievement. But now, slowly, his destiny would be revealed to him and as Brian began his journey into adulthood, further teachings would begin. To be continued. Acknowledgements: http://www.learningmeditation.com/ http://www.philosophos.com/philosophy_article_80.html