Brian picture by Tadzio ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Chapter 7: Eight Months Later: “Well, Grandma, how does it feel?” Debbie Novotny poured out two cups of strong black coffee, one for herself and one for Jennifer. It was the evening shift at the Liberty Diner and she’d been on since first thing that morning. Jennifer Taylor put her head in her hands, feigning horror. “Oh my God”, she said. “I don’t know that I’ll ever get used to being called that. It makes me feel so old!” But in truth, she couldn’t have been more delighted. Perched on a stool at the counter, now with coffee cup in hand, Jennifer turned to look at the little group behind her. Justin, her son, was sitting at one of the tables, cradling a child of his own. “I still can’t believe it”, said Jennifer, turning back to Debbie. “When Justin came to me at 17 and told me he was gay, I thought my whole world was coming apart. I certainly never thought he would give me any grandchildren”. They looked like any family group and as baby Gus gurgled contentedly in his Father’s arms, his Mother, Lindsay reached across the table to wipe the baby’s chin. At 29, Justin was already the Head of the Art Department at Vanguard Advertising Agency, their youngest manager. And his youthfulness had brought with it an abundance of fresh and innovative ideas to what had become a stagnant section. That he'd got this far at all was in itself no small miracle. Having suffered a blow to the head, resulting in damage to his cerebral motor skills, the very fact that he was alive was a testimony to medical expertise, coupled with Justin's own determination to survive. He had, however, lost some of the mobility in his right hand, which prevented him from creating the wonderful pencil and charcoal drawings he'd once been able to. But his natural flair and the technical capabilities of modern software meant he could still produce the designs required in today's cutthroat advertising industry to the highest of standards. "He gained another 4 ounces this week" said Lindsay "If we're not careful, we'll have a football player on our hands in no time!" Lindsay Peterson, Gus' Mother, had taught art and it was this shared passion that had helped form the close and lasting relationship she and Justin now enjoyed. A tall, willowy blonde, Lindz had been the subject of many a young student's fantasy. However, she was a lesbian and had been with her partner, Melanie, for six years. Justin had been the perfect choice for Father when she and Mel had decided that having a baby would just about make their relationship complete. From the outset, Justin had made it quite clear that if he were to father a child, he would want substantial access. He wanted to be a hands-on Dad, but thankfully Lindz and Mel were happy to oblige, which meant Justin had already done a share of babysitting and diaper changing duties. The diner was beginning to fill up. It was a popular place, with people stopping off to catch up with friend, or drop in after work to grab a bite to eat before hitting the clubs and bars later on in the evening and tonight was no exception. "Well now, won't you look at this?” Two of Justin's closest friends, Emmett Honeycutt and Ted Schmidt had just walked in, waving their hellos to Debbie and Jennifer at the counter and sitting at the last empty table, behind Justin. "Honey", said Emmett, putting his hand on Justin’s shoulder, "You look so sweet, don't they look sweet Teddy?" "Adorable," came the reply. Ted was an accountant and had been with the same firm for seven years, and who always dressed rather conservatively. Em on the other hand was his usual flamboyant self. In other words his lime green spandex top beautifully complemented his dark blue pants, topped off with the pale blue fluffy sweater of which he was so fond. Em and Ted had been the closest of friends for many years. With a somewhat staid appearance and some might say 'boring' personality, Ted was the dependable type who could always be relied upon to put the brakes on any flight of fancy that would often overtake the more romantic Emmett. This said, two better friends no-one could ever hope to find and during Justin's darkest days, he counted himself extremely lucky to have them. "You two out clubbing later?" asked Justin. "Not tonight", said Emmett. "The Mirror Has Two Faces is on TV, so we're going to have dinner here and then be back home in time for that". Emmett was a devoted Streisand fan and no re-run of one of his favourite movies was going to pass him by. “Are you ready to order boys?” asked Debbie, coming over to the table. “Just the usual I think Debs”, said Ted. “And Emmett, how about you honey?” “Well, I kinda fancy the blueberry pancakes please Debbie”. “Comin’ up” and Debbie passed in their order to the kitchen before being called over to another table. “What are you doing Justin?” asked Lindsay. “Do you want to come over and have dinner with Mel and me?” “Well”, said Justin slowly. “I planned on having something to eat here and then actually I thought I might go to Woody’s tonight and then maybe on to Babylon later”. Justin had just come through a break-up. He’d been with the same man on and off for the last few years, but this time, the guy had too far and Justin had said enough was enough. He was looking for commitment, not someone who made him promises and then failed to keep them. “Well good for you” said Lindsay and she reached across the table and gave him a kiss. “It’s about time you got back out there and started fucking some of those gorgeous guys!” “Hi, Mom” said Michael, walking in the door. “Hi sweetie” replied Debbie. “You want something to eat – stupid question, when don’t 17 year old boys want something to eat? I swear to God he’s eating me out of house and home right now!” But really, she wouldn’t have it any other way and Jennifer laughed, agreeing that Justin had been exactly the same at 17. Michael would often come to the diner to see his Mom and have something for dinner, when she was working the late shifts. “Are you still reading those?” asked Justin, pointing to the comic book in Michael’s hand. “Sure” said Michael. “Some of these will be collector’s items one day, you wait”. “Captain Astro”, said Debbie. “I swear he actually thinks he’s a real person. You’d think he woulda grown out of them by now”. But Michael was still as keen on his comics as he was at 14 and refused to be embarrassed at the leg pulling he attracted because of it. “Well, I’ve got to run folks”, said Jennifer, getting off the stool. “I promised Craig we’d go over the designs for the new bathroom tonight. Don’t forget it’s your sister’s birthday soon Justin. We’re having a surprise party for her”. And she went to his table where she gave her son a peck on the cheek and then bent down to kiss her grandson on the forehead. “Will you all come to Molly’s birthday party? She’d love to see Gus. She loves the idea of being an Auntie”, Jennifer continued. “We can put Gus to bed upstairs, he won’t be disturbed”. “Thank you, Jennifer”, replied Lindsay. “Mel and I would love to come”. “Well that’s settled. I’ll let Justin know the details later”. And Jennifer said her goodbyes to everyone and left for home. Jennifer had coped well after the initial shock of discovering she had a gay son and nothing would ever stop her loving and supporting him. But Craig Taylor had taken a long time to come to terms with Justin’s sexuality. As if having produced a gay son somehow reflected a doubt on his own. But eventually, when he saw how unhappy Justin had been trying to deny who he was; even refusing to go to Dartmouth like Craig wanted and instead taking up his place at the Art Institute, Craig relented and actually admired his determination to be who he wanted to be and not what Craig had tried to make him into. “I’ve got to run soon as well Justin”, said Lindsay. “Mel will be back from her meeting soon and she’ll want to see Gus before I put him down for the night”. Melanie Marcus was a partner in a law firm and worked long hours in order to allow Lindsay to stay at home and care for their new baby. Initially, they had refused offers of financial help from Justin, but then gave in on his insistence, but only on the condition that Justin’s contributions went into a trust, which had been set up for Gus for when he went to college. They all remembered what it was like to be struggling students and they didn’t want that for their son. Lindsay took the sleeping child from Justin and put him in his stroller, gathering up all the baby paraphernalia that now accompanied them everywhere. “Have a wonderful time tonight” she said and gave Justin a kiss before bidding everyone goodnight and leaving. Justin joined Ted and Emmett and they all chatted and ate until it was time for them to leave to catch the movie. Justin then walked the couple of blocks down Liberty Avenue to Woody’s Bar. It was a while since he’d been in circulation and thought a couple of drinks before he plunged back into the clubbing scene would be the best way to go. Sitting at the counter, now on his second beer, Justin noticed him as soon as he came in the door. He watched the young man work the bar and it wasn’t long before he saw someone follow him out to the men’s room. A few minutes later, on re-entering the room, the young man looked around, searching for another possible taker and couldn’t help but notice the blond at the bar. He went over and sat on the empty stool next to him. The blond was even cuter close up, he decided, even though he had to be nearly 30, and he turned to Justin and found himself staring into the most beautiful blue eyes he thought he’d ever seen. “Do you want some company?” he asked. ‘Christ, he only looks a kid’, thought Justin. Staring back at him, this slim young man, with dark hair and hazel eyes, he felt a tightening in his groin, but just smiled and quickly took another swallow of his beer. “You can buy me a drink if you like”, said the youth. “How old are you?” asked Justin, putting down his glass. “21” came the reply. Justin called over the barman. “Jake, I’ll have a Beam and a Club Soda for my friend here” he said, and wasn’t at all surprised at the response when the soft drink arrived. “What the fucks this?” “There’s no way you’re 21”, said Justin quietly, out of Jake’s earshot. “And I’m not about to start buying drinks for minors, so either take or leave it”. They stared at each other for a few moments before Justin’s companion grinned and picked up his drink. “What’s your name kid?” he asked. There was a pause. “What would you like it to be?” came the reply and he took a long swallow. Justin didn’t say anything, but continued to look right at him, until finally the young man turned to face him. “It’s Brian”, he said. “Nice to meet you, Brian. I’m Justin”. Looking in to those liquid hazel eyes, Justin couldn’t help but notice how tired Brian looked. “Pretty late for a school night isn’t it?” he asked. Brian chuckled, “I guess”, he said, “but as I don’t go to school, then I guess it doesn’t matter”. Whilst they had been chatting at the bar, they’d failed to notice the attention being given to Brian by a small group of men sitting at one of the tables. “He is kinda hot, don’t you think”, said one. “Sure”, said another. “And young”. “Just how I like ‘em”, said the last of the little group. “How ‘bout I go get us a freebie”, and he got up from the table and walked to the end of the bar and sat down, facing Brian. He took out his wallet, and having caught the young man’s eye, beckoned him over. Brian saw the man walk to the end of the bar and take out his wallet. ‘Back to business’, he thought, but regretted not being able to continue talking to the blond. He seemed a really nice guy and Brian didn’t get to meet too many of those. Pity he hadn’t taken him up on his offer of company. If he hadn’t needed the money, he’d have done him for free. He finished his drink. “Well, see you around maybe” he said to Justin and left him to join the other man. Brian walked the length of the bar and Justin watched him go. At 17, he was a little taller than Justin and a looker. He’d already acquired a graceful motion, in fact, was quite beautiful to watch and Justin couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed at being taken with someone so young. ‘Christ’, he thought. ‘He must be about the same age as Michael, Debbie’s boy!’ As Justin watched Brian head for the men’s room, closely followed by the man from the bar, he couldn’t help but feel for the kid. ‘Jeez, what a life’, he thought. And turning back to finish his drink, he failed to notice the other two men who followed them. Having downed the last of the Beam, the effects of this, two beers and the coffee he’d consumed earlier at the diner, were beginning to take effect and Justin realised he actually did need the men’s room. Walking the short corridor between the bar and the restrooms, he passed the open fire-escape door before entering the men’s room. He was surprised to find he was the only one there. He didn’t think about the open door until he was on his way back – it was normally closed. He thought he could hear scuffling outside and muted voices and ventured out into the alley. Under the low lights, he could make out the shapes by the dumpsters. Two men appeared to be holding another against the wall, his pants down. The third man was pressed up against him, his own pants around his ankles. “Hey”, called out Justin. “Is everything OK out here?” One of the men turned towards him. “Fuck off”, he yelled back. But Justin heard another voice quite clearly. “Get the fuck off me, bastards”. And Justin realised it was Brian. “Hey, leave him alone”. A memory was triggered in Justin, a flashback to another alley; another violent act and he sprinted towards the group. Justin grabbed one of the men by the arm and pulled him away. “I said leave him alone” and the ferocity in Justin’s voice stopped them all short. “Look”, the man said, backing off, pulling up his pants, “we’re only having a little fun here. It’s obvious what he is”. Justin was furious. He grabbed the man by his jacket and pushed him backwards. “Nothing gives you the right to do this. Fuck off now, or I’ll call the cops”. One of them laughed. “You really think they’re gonna care what happens to a fag hustler?” he asked. But Justin stood his ground. “You want to wait around and find out?” Brian was watching this exchange intently. He’d come out into the alley expecting to give the guy a blowjob, and had been caught totally by surprise when suddenly two others jumped him. They’d first knocked him to the ground and then hauled him up to his feet, one of the guys pulling down his pants and groping him. They’d turned his face to the wall and Brian knew he was going to be raped. He’d shouted to them to stop, closing his eyes, trying to shut out what was happening, bracing himself for the assault, when suddenly, he’d heard Justin call out. Brian had managed to turn his head towards the voice and saw him standing in the open doorway, a dark figure surrounded by a halo of light. He’d cried out again and suddenly, Justin was there. Now he watched the stand off and the depth of anger he could see in the blond’s face both surprised and scared him and he couldn’t understand why he would put himself at risk to come to his aid. “Okay, Okay”, said one of the men, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I think we’re done here. Come on boys. These kids are ten a penny. Besides, I know where there’s a party on tonight. They’ll be plenty of action there”. And they turned and walked down the alley, out onto the street. Brian was still leaning against the wall. He’d hardly dared breathe before. His forehead hurt where he’d been knocked to the ground and his ribcage ached through the rough handling and they’d scared the shit out of him. But now he reached down for his pants and started to dress himself. “Bastards” he called after them, and then started to pat his pockets in panic. “Fuck. Fuck – they stole my money” he yelled and he made to go after them. Justin grabbed his arm. “Leave it”. “I can’t” said Brian, trying to break free from Justin’s grip. “If I don’t show up with what I made tonight, then…..” but he stopped. “Then what, someone else will beat the shit out of you?” “Look at you” he continued. “You’re pretty shook up and that bruise is gonna need attention”. Brian was already holding his ribs and now he put his hand to his forehead and winced. He hadn’t realised the extent of the damage. “Let’s get you cleaned up”, said Justin and he stepped away from Brian. For a moment he thought the kid was going to run out on him, but instead he followed Justin as he walked back down the alley to the street where his car was parked. On the way to the loft, Justin wasn’t able to drag one word out of Brian and he was silent on his way up in the lift. Justin unlocked the door and walked inside and Brian followed. “Shut the door”, he said. Brian did what he was told, turned and took one step inside Justin’s home. “Jeez”, he said. “This is some place. What the fuck do you do to live somewhere like this?” “I’m in advertising”, Justin answered, tossing his keys onto the counter top and walking over to the refrigerator, where he took out two bottles of water, tossing one to Brian. He’d moved into the loft last year, when he made Manager at Vanguard. Once a warehouse, each level had been converted into spacious living accommodation and Justin owned the one on the top floor. He opened the bottled water and drank half of it down in one go. “I’ll show you where the bathroom is so you can get cleaned up”, he said, setting the bottle down on the counter. Brian put down his own bottle and followed him up the few steps to the raised bedroom area, and into the bathroom. Justin opened the linen cupboard door and took out a fresh towel. “Here”, he said, handing it to Brian. “You can take a shower if you want”. Brian hesitated, but then took the towel. “Thanks”, he said. He took off his denim jacket and then started to strip off the rest of his clothes. Suddenly, Justin began to feel hot and a tingling sensation started in his groin. “I’ll be out here – holler if you need anything”, he said, turning and walking quickly back out to the kitchen. He picked up his bottle of water, opened it and poured some over his head and face. He needed to cool off. He went back to the refrigerator and looked for some ice to use as a pack for Brian’s bruise. He could hear the shower running. He hadn’t mean to, he told himself, but he couldn’t help it. Slowly, he closed the refrigerator door, turned and walked back across the lounge room, and up the steps to the bathroom. He could see him in the shower; slim, even skinny, and long-limbed. He was soaping himself and Justin couldn’t take his eyes off him. Brian threw his head back and shook the water from his hair. Justin stopped breathing; such was the effect that this young man was having on him. Before he had time to react, Brian had quickly rinsed himself off and was opening the shower door; too late for Justin to make his escape. So instead, he picked up the towel and held it open for Brian to step into. If he was surprised to find Justin in the bathroom as he stepped from the shower, Brian certainly didn’t show it and he let him wrap the towel around his waist. ‘God, he smells good’, thought Justin, the light perfume from the soap lingering on Brian’s body. But it wasn’t just his body that transfixed him; it was the marks on his skin, some new but many old that held Justin’s attention. Before Brian could realise that he was staring, Justin turned around and hurried to the bedroom. “I’ve got a couple of tee’s and fatigues that’ll do for now. Your stuff’s a bit messed up”, he said and he took out the fresh clothes from the dresser and laid them on the bed. “Get dressed”, he said “and we’ll have a look at that bruise”. When he’d got out of the shower and found Justin in the bathroom, Brian had smiled to himself. He’d looked a bit embarrassed that he’d been sprung, caught watching him. Brian could smell the faint trace of alcohol on Justin’s breath, warm on his neck as he’d allowed the blond to get close whilst wrapping the towel around him and he felt a shiver go down his spine. Leaving the bathroom, Brian scooped up his own clothes and found those that Justin had left for him on the bed and began to dress. He was sure he could feel Justin watching him and looking up quickly, their eyes met. Brian smiled; he knew exactly the effect he was having on the older man. Now dressed, Brian moved to the table where Justin was sitting. “Glad they fit”, said Justin, indicating the clothes. “They’re OK, thanks”, said Brian and he sat down on the chair next to him. “Here”, said Justin, holding out the icepack. “Put this on the bruise, it’ll help take the swelling down. Do you have a headache or hurt anywhere else?” he asked. Brian took the pack and placed it on his forehead. He chuckled. “What?” asked Justin. “Anyone would think you were my fucking Mother?” said Brian and Justin smiled back. Brian closed his eyes, allowing the coolness of the icepack to flow over him. They sat in silence for a few moments, until finally Justin asked gently, “Brian, those guys – did they ……… did they rape you?” Brian opened his eyes and found himself looking directly into Justin’s. He was surprised to see the obvious concern there. “No”, he said. “They didn’t. But I think they would have”. He paused and then asked, “Why did you do that, out in the alley? You could have been hurt”. Justin shrugged. “They were hurting you. I couldn’t let them do that”, he said. But the truth was closer to home than that. “Then I should thank you”, said Brian and, without warning, he placed his hand on Justin’s knee and when the blond didn’t complain, he started to slide his hand up his thigh. He could see the bulge beneath Justin’s jeans and was just about to slide his fingers over it, when Justin grabbed his wrist. “What the fuck are you doing?” he asked. “I ……. I thought …. Never mind”, said Brian and quickly pulled away. “Is that why you think I brought you here?” asked Justin. “That I saw my chance for a quick fuck?” Brian stood and rushed back to the bedroom and started to take of the tee shirt that Justin had given him. “You can keep your fucking clothes”, he shouted out. “I don’t need your fucking charity”. Justin moved to the foot of the steps. “Brian stop. There’s no need for this. We just got our wires crossed. Okay? Keep the clothes, please”. Brian stopped and pulled the tee shirt back over his body. He picked up his own clothes from the floor. “These are pretty gross”, he admitted, and dropped them. Carrying his denim jacket, Brian walked back down the steps and across the lounge room floor. “I have to go”, he said. “Where?” asked Justin. “Back working the streets and bars?” “What’s it to you?” asked Brian angrily, turning back. “Look, I’m in enough trouble already, those bastards taking my fucking money. I’ll be in deep shit if I’ve got nothing to show for tonight”. “Then let me help you”, said Justin, but Brian wouldn’t hear of it. He walked to the door and opened it. He stopped and then turned back to face Justin. “See you around”, he said. And he was gone. To be continued. 10 April 04