Thanks to Eka for our beautiful bannner, to my beta's Lois and Helen, and to our readers whom show great support Justin’s POV As I make it to the park that Brian and I always used to go to when things got out of hand and we just needed time to ourselves to think about it, I see him. I don’t know why I’m not surprised to see him here at the same time I am. I don’t know why I don’t even wonder about the irony but I don’t. I just sit down and wait, not many people know this but if you’re silent for long enough, Brian will open up, it’s just the way he is. "I’m surprised that you even remember this place. I didn’t think that you would ever actually come here." See, what’d I tell you and I have no real answer for his statement so I just shrug. "So why aren’t you with your hubby? I bet he’s going crazy looking for you." He pauses and I know he meant to hurt me with those words but I keep the pain inside, I‘ve gotten good at that. "Never mind. I hear enough about lover’s spats as it is." Lover’s spat, what a weird way to characterize what happened, although Brian doesn’t know that, and I can’t ever let him know it either. I look at Brian and my aching body and battered heart are pushed far from my mind because I see how freaked out Brian is and I need to figure out what is wrong with him and make it better. I have to make him better; I love him too much to let him suffer. “Brian, what’s going on?” I ask as I lay a comforting hand on his arm. I can see the indecision in Brian’s eyes and he looks down at my hand on his arm and I know he is struggling between throwing my hand off his arm and telling me what it is that’s going on. Then he pulls his arm away and I think all is lost until he starts to speak. “Iwasstupidandletsomeguyfuckmeraw.” Brian pushed out in one breath and though I don’t get all the words, some of them I heard loud and clear. “What the fuck? After all the shit you said to me about being safe? How could you be so fucking stupid?” I rage, needing an outlet for my fear. Brian looks at me with hurt and shock in eyes before it’s covered up by his walls and then he gets up and starts to walk away and I know that I haven’t dealt with this the way I should have but I was freaked; give me a break. I jump up after Brian and grab his arm again, stopping his departure. He tries to pull away once again but I can tell his heart isn’t in it. I bring my arms around his waist from behind and lean my head between his shoulder blades. “I’m sorry, I was just shocked,” I say, ignoring how this stance is making my body hurt even more and then it screams an ever greater protest when he leans some of his weight into me. I’m almost crying in pain once again but I know I can’t let it show in my voice. “Come on.” “Where?” Brian questions in a little voice. “We need to get you back to the loft. It’s freezing and you are soaked through.” I say, steering him to the Jeep. Brian was shivering and pretty out of it so he didn’t even make a protest when I put him into the passenger side of the Jeep and jumped into the driver’s side myself. I get us back to the loft in record time and jump out of the Jeep as fast as I can to get to Brian’s side. Once I have Brian in the loft and have his clothes off, I shove him into a warm shower, not making it hot so I don’t shock him. He is looking at me with a weird look on his face when I don’t jump in the shower with him. I know that fact hurt him because he thinks there’s a whole other reason behind it but I just can’t let him see, he has too much to worry about as it is. As soon as he gets out of the shower I can tell he is feeling a little better and also that me not getting in with him has made him pull away from me some more but this is about his health, not my shattered heart or his hurt. I help him into bed although I can see the defiance welling up in his eyes. I know he wants to push me away and deal with this all by himself but I give him a sharp glance and in that look I tell him silently that he deals with me or I’ll tell the gang and he can deal with them; that stops him quick. I know that he’s wondering if I would do it but doesn’t want to find out and the truth is, I wouldn’t because that would make it that much harder for him but he doesn’t need to know that. I have him tucked in and run down to the kitchen to make him some soup. While it’s on the stove, I grab him some water which I bring to him, along with the cold medicine that I grab from the bathroom. “I don’t have a cold.” Brian gripes, only taking the water. “No, but you will.” I say as I lay the medicine on his night stand. I run down to the kitchen to finish the soup and bring that up to him as well. “What the hell, I’m not eating that shit either. I’m not hungry now, why don’t you just run along home to your fiddler and leave me the fuck alone.” I close my eyes for a second after that attack but I see it for what it is and shake it off as best I can. “Nice shot Brian but I’m not leaving until you eat the soup, so you can just do it. Or I could always call Deb and tell her what’s going on. I’m sure she would make sure you were alright.” I threaten again. Brian glares at me but does as I say and within minutes the soup is gone. As soon as he’s done, I pick up the bowl and reflexively place a kiss on his forehead. When I realize what I did, I jump up needing to get out of here before he says anything really damaging. “Okay, well, I’ll just get out of your way now.” I say as a start to back away. “Wait.” Brian says as he grabs onto a particularly sore part of my arm to stop me from leaving. “Fuck!” I cry out in obvious pain.