Brian's POV As the kids sleep, Justin and I just stare at each other. I don't know what to do or what to say, and I feel my heart squeeze painfully in my chest for some reason. I don't know where these feelings are coming from, but I'm starting to feel bad about worrying them. Even though it's not really something that I can help. When going through chemo, just the smell of food is enough to make me sick. But now that I've taken my last treatment, things are slowly starting to go back to normal. The good thing is that everyone will be able to stop worrying. Just as long as they got all of the cancer. But I just can't help the nagging feeling that remission might not be as long as I think or want. I might relapse, and I hate the very thought of it. But if they didn't get all of the cancer, there is a very possibility it might happen. The thing that I most afraid of, is dying and leaving Gus by himself. I mean, I'm sure that someone in the family would take care of Gus if I died, but I don't want to leave my son. He's just a kid, and he's already lost so much, and it's not fair for him. For some reason, I find myself motioning for Justin to come see. When he does, I motion for him to lie down next to me. After giving me a confused look, Justin does. I find myself wrapping my arms around him, and pulling him close enough so I can smell his blonde hair. I try to breathe in Justin's scent without him knowing, but he does, and I wonder what the blonde is thinking. I know that he's probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me, since I'm so hot and cold all of the time. But I'm afraid of getting too close. I have my fucking family to thank for that. When the next morning rolls around, I'm just waking up, loving the feel of Justin and the kids in my arms. For some weird reason, I know instinctively that Justin is still asleep, as are the kids, so I don't move. However, I hear a voice that makes my blood freeze, and I feel anger take over me. The sound of my mother's voice coming down the hall trying to find me, makes me sick to my stomach, and I know that I have to get rid of Joanie and quick. When she finally walks into the room and finds me lying here with Justin and the kids with me in the bed, her eyes go wide. Then she starts yelling about how I'm such a disgrace to my family, and that I'm going to hell. Then I know when she notices Gus, because my mother reaches for him while saying that I'm corrupting my son. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" I yell at her, and I wake up Justin and the kids, and I feel bad about it. When my mother doesn't move, I call for security. "SECURITY! SECURITY!" Two security guards come rushing in, and I command them to get my mother out of my room. As they pull her out of the room, she screams that I'm going to hell, and I can't stop myself from replying, "SEE YOU THERE, BITCH!" Then I fall silent again, pissed that I let her get to me again, in front of Justin and the kids again. When one of the guards comes back, I tell him not to worry about it, since I'm getting out today. The doctor comes in a few minutes later and everyone else exits the room as I get examined. When I get a clean bill of health, the doctor says that he's sorry they let my mother upset me. I look the doctor straight in the eye, as I open the door to leave. Then I say, "She's not my mother. Just the woman who gave birth to me. My mother is Debbie Novotny." Then I walk out and meet Justin and the kids in the hall. Picking up Kyla and Gus, I look at Justin. "Are you guys ready get out of here?" When Justin nods uncertainly, I fight a smirk, and we start for Justin's car. He drives to the loft, where I shower and change, and then I ask if they want to go to the diner for breakfast. When the kids say yes, I look at Justin and smirk, asking if he can stand spending another minute with me. When Justin agrees, I ask if I can drive his car. Justin nods, as we set the kids up and start for the diner. The four of us have a healthy breakfast and then as we start back to the loft, Justin gets a call on his cell phone. It's Molly, asking if everything is okay. Before Justin can reply, I snatch the phone out of his hand and talk to Molly for several minutes. I have Molly laughing after just a few minutes of speaking to her, and then I ask if she would mind looking after the kids so that Justin and I can talk. Being a sharp woman, she automatically caught on to why I was asking, and she said she would be glad to look after the kids. I give her the address to the loft, and Molly says that she will meet us there. When we pull up to the loft a few minutes later, and go inside, Justin gives me a look. As I pack a few of Gus things, Justin makes a few small comments about the kids staying with his sister. The buzzer goes off not long after, and so I make sure it's Molly, and buzz her in. She hugs me, Justin, and then the kids. Then before I know what's happened, Molly and the kids are gone, leaving Justin and I alone. I look at Justin, as I close the door behind Molly and the kids. Before I get a chance to change my mind, I pull Justin close and kiss him. I've been craving the feel and taste of his lips since the first kiss we shared. If I let myself think about it, I'm acting like a lesbian. So I just won't let myself think about it. I'll just let it happen. Maybe. When I feel no resistance on Justin's part, I deepen the kiss and run my fingers through his hair. His blonde hair is so soft, and just by running my fingers through it right now, I know that I want to do this for as long as he will let me. A few minutes later we pull apart panting. I look into Justin's eyes, and see the same lust in his eyes that I feel right now. So pull him close once more and we resume kissing. As things start to heat up, I break the kiss, and we shed our clothes. Then I reach with one arm, into my bedside table for supplies. I pull out a small tube of lube and some condoms. I set the items on the bed, and pause for a moment, giving Justin a chance to stop this if he isn't ready. When he doesn't stop me, I pop open the lid on the lube and squirt some on my fingers. Then we get into a comfortable position, and I slip one finger into his waiting hole, working it in and out slowly, opening and preparing him. After a few seconds I add a second and then a third finger. When Justin starts fucking himself on my fingers, I pull them out of his hole and he moans softly at the loss. Then I slip the condom on my dick, and lube it up. Moments later, I slowly start sliding myself inside of Justin. He freezes, so I stop for a moment and let him adjust to the size of my dick. When he starts pushing back against me, I slide the rest of the way inside of Justin, until I'm buried to the hilt. Then I start moving inside of him slowly, and I smile at the moans coming from him. Pretty soon the only sounds in the loft are the sounds of skin slapping skin, and our moans of pleasure. I reach around Justin, grasp his dick, and start pumping it in time with my thrusts. Before long I feel the tingle in my balls, and I know that I'm going to come soon. So I start slamming into Justin, unable to get enough of him. After that I'm coming and coming and coming. As the last waves of pleasure go through my body, I hear Justin groan as he finishes his orgasm a few seconds after I do. We both collapse, exhausted. The two of us lie in my bed for several minutes getting our breath and our strength back. When a little time has passed, I ask Justin if he wants to take a shower. When the blonde nods, I smirk and we head for the shower together, which starts another round. When we finally take our shower and get dressed once more, I glance at the clock. It's only nine thirty. I walk back over to the bed and start to change the bedding. I always change the bedding after it gets used for sex. It's a habit for me. I'm a bit of a neat freak. Just like when putting things away. Everything has a place. After I put that set of bedding in the washer, I get out another set of bedding, and I start to make my bed once more. When I'm finished, I motion for Justin to join me in bed once more. When he does, I spoon in behind him. I pull Justin close and breathe in the smell that's uniquely him, and the scent of my coconut shampoo and body wash. Damn, he smells great. I see a smile tug at the corner of Justin's lips, but he doesn't let it fully form. It's like the blonde knows what I'm thinking, but knows better than to laugh. We get comfortable in my bed, and before long, I realize that Justin has fallen asleep. As he sleeps, I run my fingers through his hair again. I can't help myself. I love doing it, and I know that Justin likes it, and maybe it even relaxes him if even just a little. I end up staying up most of the night, even though I really should be sleeping. But I can't. I have this blonde angel in my bed, and for the first time ever, I don't want this to be just a one night stand. I don't want to be an asshole like I usually am on the day after. I think I want... I don't know what the fuck I want. I want to go to sleep with Justin, and when I wake up, he is one of the first things that I see. I know that we haven't known each other for very long, but I feel something for him. Something that I haven't felt in years. I've never been in a relationship before. Sure, I had crushes on men when I was younger. But I never dated anybody. I always thought that love and romance was complete and utter shit. I always thought that. Hell, I was taught that by living in my family. But now, being with Justin I feel different. I feel like I want to be anything and everything that he needs. I want to be Kyla's other daddy. I want Justin to be Gus' other daddy. I want us to be a family, but I'm so scared of turning out like my father. I never want to raise my hand to Gus, Kyla, or Justin. Or anyone else for that matter, because I know just how it feels. I never want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone, no matter what. I don't want them to hate me. Because I know how it feels to hate someone so much that it starts to consume you. I hate my parents that much, and my sister and her brats too. Yeah, I'm a crappy son, brother, and uncle, but who gives a fuck? It's not like my family actually gives a shit for me. The only time they get in touch with me is if someone is sick, they want money, or they want to condemn me. So fuck them. Who the hell needs a family like that? I keep running my fingers through Justin's hair. I have noticed that most of the time when I'm around him, I feel more calm than I ever have in my entire life. I have to do something, so that even if this ends in a bad way, we can still be friends. Apparently I spent the whole night thinking and running my fingers through his hair. I feel Justin start to move, and he's probably going to wake up soon. So I glance over at the clock and I realize that it's five forty in the morning. I let go of Justin and stretch a bit. He wakes up, and starts rubbing the sleep from his eyes. In that moment, Justin looks so innocent and sweet, and I feel like I want to protect him for the rest of my life. I watch as he sits up, and runs a hand through his blonde hair, making it stand up. I laugh softly, when his hair stands up in different directions. When Justin looks at me, a smile lights up his face, and I'm blown away by how bright and sunshiney it is. Pulling him close, I kiss the blonde once and say, "Good morning Sunshine." Justin gives me a confused look at the nick name, but then shrugs and smiles. "M-morning Brian." I laugh again as he tries unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn, so that he can talk. "We have morning breath, come on. I have a set of extra tooth brushes. You can pick which one you want." As I go to get up, Justin pulls me close and we kiss again. When we pull apart again, I say, "I have really bad morning breath, so let's go." Justin laughs when I turn and start walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then he gets up and follows me a few minutes later. I turn on the shower, and motion for Justin to join me. I'm surprised when Justin declines my offer to join me in the shower. When he begins to speak, I listen. "I need to get back to my place, and change and shower there. I'll see you later?" I nod, and then we kiss again. Right as Justin reaches the door, I say, "Later." Justin smiles and replies in kind. "Later." When he's gone, I start to jerk off in the shower. I remember sliding into the bubble butt of his and how tight he was. My hand speeds up on my dick, and the next thing I know I'm coming harshly. When I come down from my orgasm, and I've got my strength back again, I take my shower. When I'm done and dressed, I call Cynthia at Kinnetik and tell her that Justin and I won't be today. When Cynthia asks if everything is okay, I tell her that it is. "So is he as good as he looks?" I laugh at her question, and then reply sweetly, "Fuck you, Cynthia. Ask about my personal life again, and I'll fire your ass." Cynthia laughs again and then replies, "Sure you will, Brian. I'll have my desk cleared out immediately." We both laugh and then I say, "You know I'd never fire you. You're the only one who didn't cry when I interviewed you with the coffee thing." Cynthia laughs again and then says, "Yeah, it took me 11 tries to get your coffee made the way you like it. You made all the other women who went to interview, cry." We both laugh a few minutes more, and I give Cynthia her instructions for the day. Then we hang up and I start to clean the loft. It's not real messy, but I can't stand having things lying around, and not in their correct place. I clean the bedroom, the bathroom, and then the kitchen. When I'm done, I walk over to my computer and pull up an account to work on. I have no idea when or if Justin will be back, so I call Molly and ask her if I should go pick Gus up. Molly tells me that she can drop Gus off at home, since it's on her way to visit her mother. Yikes. I've never met their mother, but I know that I'm not ready to. A little while later, the downstairs buzzer goes off. I make sure it's Molly and the kids, before buzzing the three of them up. When they come inside, I kiss Molly on the cheek, and thank her for watching the kids last night. Molly smiles at me knowingly and I laugh. We talk for a few minutes, and I hug and kiss both of the kids. When Molly and Kyla leave, Gus and I have lunch and we sit together on the couch with a blanket, to watch one of his movies. I turn on 'The Lion King.' Gus really likes the son Simba. About half way through the movie, Gus falls asleep. I remove him from my lap as I get up, and I set him comfortably on the couch covering him up once more, as I clean up our dishes from lunch. I put the two plates and glasses in the sink, and then I quickly wash, dry, and save them. Then I walk back over to the couch once more. I pick Gus up again, and then lie down with him on my chest. I did this a few times when he was a baby. I smile, and then run my fingers though my Sonny Boy's hair once, before falling asleep myself.