Thanks to muffin_donat2007 for the beautiful banner. Chapter Sixteen Justin's POV I can't believe I just said that. But there's no time to clear the air between us, because we have arrived at the clinic for his appointment. As I go to try and say something anyway, Brian just pushes past me, and he walks into the clinic. I try to shrug off his coolness towards me, but as the minutes tick by, I grow frustrated. I know that both of us are stubborn as mules. I also know that if Brian is pregnant, I don't know what I'm going to do. I just know that everything will change, if he is. Everything will change drastically. I sign Brian in, and then I sit down and wait silently. As I sit and wait while Brian gets checked over, I get a strange feeling in my stomach. My gut instinct is telling me that Brian is going to be pregnant. But my brain is telling me that it's really too soon to know. I sigh softly. An hour has passed before I know it, and Brian walks back up to me. He doesn't say anything, just motions that we should go. I nod, and then follow Brian out of the clinic. Then I pull my keys out, and unlock the car. I press the unlock button, and the other three doors unlock. I slide into the car, and Brian does the same. "Well?" I prompt him. I can't help myself. Not knowing, is driving me up the fucking wall. I have little to no patience for everything except my family, friends, and my art. Brian still doesn't reply. So I sigh softly, buckle up, and then start the car. I watch Brian out of the corner of my eye, and I'm relieved when I see him put on his seatbelt. I check to make sure it's clear, and then I back out. We are half way back to my apartment, when Brian scares the shit out of me. He jumps and says, "Shit!" I slam on the brakes as quickly as I can, thinking that something is wrong, and Brian glares at me. Stupid fucker. He nearly gave me a heart attack. I park the car, and turn to Brian. Forcing myself to try and stay calm, I say, "What's wrong?" Brian mumbles something that I can't hear. "What was that?" He rolls his eyes and then repeats himself to where I can hear him. "I said, I forgot to call Lindsay." I pause for a moment, and then the image of the blonde woman walking in on us fucking, appears in my mind. "You really should call her. She's probably wondering where you are. You need to tell her about the car accident." Brian sighs and then says, "That's not the only thing I need to tell her." My heart stops for a moment, and I freeze. I fall silent, and wait for Brian to finish. "Yes Justin, I'm pregnant." My heart is in my throat, and my stomach is churning at his news. Oh my god. I quickly take off my seatbelt, then I throw open my door, and promptly throw up on the side of the road. After several moments, I'm able to finally stop vomiting. I'm sitting on the ground next to my yellow car, leaning my back against it. My chest feels like it's on fire, and I've just learned that I'm going to be a father for a second time. Oh God. I'm dizzy, I can't breathe, and my heart is pounding like crazy. I think that I'm having a panic attack. I haven't had one of these fucking things in years. It all started on the night of my senior prom. I went to the prom with Daphne, but I had wanted to ask this guy named Chris to go with me. I had jerked him off during detention earlier in the year, and then asked him out once. He said no, and set my locker on fire. Chris decided that he wasn't going to come out, but remain a weak little faggot and hide in the closet. So Senior Prom night comes, and Daphne and I go to the dance. At the end of the night, Chris hits me in the head with a fucking baseball bat. If it hadn't been for Daphne, I'd be dead. She ran toward us, and then pushed Chris away from me and screamed at the top of her lungs for help. People came running, students and adults alike. Daphne told me that Chris ran off, after she pushed him. There was a trial and everything. But he only got community service. I was in a coma for 3 weeks, and rehab for a month, trying to get my drawing hand to work again. My hand will never be good as new, and I accept it. My fucked up hand is a reminder. Don't get too comfortable, and don't ask out a jock. They will kick your ass, and then try to kill you. I had my first panic attack two weeks after I came out of my coma. As I get my mind back on the present, I try to remember what I read about learning to handle panic attacks. I do everything that I have read, about self help, when dealing with panic attacks. When I'm finally able to calm down, I slowly get back into the car. I know that Brian is staring at me, wondering what that was, but all that matters is that we get to my apartment soon. I buckle my seatbelt, and check all my mirrors for traffic. Then I start the car again. Brian finally speaks, and he asks, "What the hell was that?" I've been driving again for only a few minutes, when he asks his question. I put my signal on, and then I switch lanes. It's a few minutes before I answer. "That was a panic attack. I've had them since my senior prom in high school." I don't feel comfortable talking about the bashing, or the side affects. So I increase my speed a little, and before we know it, I'm pulling up at my apartment. I unbuckle my seatbelt, and turn the car off. I take my keys from the ignition, and then open my car door and close it. Brian has just stepped out of the car as well. I press the button on my key chain, and the car locks once more. Then we go into my apartment. As we walk inside, Molly turns and gives me an alarmed look. I just push past her, and head for my room. Brian is already walking into my room, and right before I reach my door, Molly grabs my arm. "Justin, what's the matter?" "Fuck off, Molly." I tell my sister. I'm sorry for being mean to her, but I can't deal with anything else right now. My head is aching, and I need to lie down somewhere extremely dark. She looks at me, and then asks again. "Justin, what happened?" I turn to my sister, and then snap, "I had a fucking panic attack, okay? I haven't had one in years, and now they've come back. I need to lie down. I'll fill my prescription later." Then I leave Molly standing there, and I go into my room. Brian is in lying in my bed, waiting. I slide in next to him, and pull the covers over us. Then I wrap my arm around Brian's waist, and I close my eyes. I just listen to the sound of his breathing. Doing that calms me for some reason. I feel myself fully relax when Brian pulls me to him, and so I fall asleep.