Chapt 13


	Brian was stunned into silence when he locked eyes with Justin’s intense baby blues.  Neither made a move or said a word for a few moments as they both took in the other’s presence.  Justin could clearly see the fatigue written all over Brian’s face.  The man had obviously been having trouble sleeping and Justin couldn’t help but wonder if he was at least partially the cause.  Brian noticed the tenseness in Justin’s shoulders and wanted more than anything to massage out those knots.  Finally gaining enough courage to step forward, Justin entered the room and made a beeline for the empty chair across from Brian’s desk.  He stood behind it expectantly.  Brian snapped out of his daze and invited Justin to sit down.  Once they were both seated, Justin leaned forward and began to speak.

	“Hi Brian.  I first wanted to apologize for disappearing that night in the hotel room.  I should have stayed with you to face Mom together but I panicked and just needed to get out of there.  I wanted to call you and everyone else to say I was OK but I couldn’t do it.  Anytime I tried to verbalize how I was feeling my throat would close up and it was impossible to speak out loud.”

	“Justin, I…” Brian began before he was interrupted.

	“No Bri, please let me finish or I may never get it all out.  The last few weeks I’ve spent getting to know my son.  Maybe I was a coward for hiding over at Lindsey’s place but after witnessing our family dynamics I wanted my relationship with Gus to start out right.  He’s the one thing in this world that I haven’t managed to fuck up yet.”

	“You’re not a fuck up Justin,” Brian replied.

	“Yes, I am.  I have an amazing group of friends that I love but I’ve never had to put my heart on the line or worry about disappointing someone.  That’s not the case with Gus…or you.”

	“Me?” Brian asked.

	“Yeah, you.  There’s no guarantee that you’ll always be here and the thought of you leaving again scares the crap out of me.  It’s a really big risk.”

	“What is?”

	“Letting you in.  Allowing myself to feel something beyond friendship or family,” Justin replied.

	Brian sighed.  “You’re not alone, you know.  We grew up with the same loving role models,” Brian stated sarcastically.

	“I know,” Justin said quietly.

	“It doesn’t mean we have to grow up to be like them.  Seeing you and your friends together taught me that.  I want to be a part of that life, of your life and you’re right, what I feel for you is more intense than anything I have ever felt.  I think it may take a little time to get used to it.”

	“It’s not exactly old hat for me either,” Justin chuckled.  The tenseness he felt in his shoulders was starting to lessen as the conversation continued.  Brian stood up from his chair and walked over to the other side of the desk so his leg was lightly touching Justin’s. 

	“I guess we figure it out together,” Brian said casually.

	“I guess we do,” Justin replied and stood up.  When he did his body came in full contact with Brian’s, causing the heat to rise in both of their bodies.   Tentatively Brian reached out and rested the palm of his hand on Justin’s waist, who leaned into the touch.  Brian’s confidence began to build as his hand slid around Justin’s back, pulling him in closer.  Justin tilted his head up so he could see Brian’s eyes that were filled with longing.

	“You better go before all my employees see me pull you over my desk and christen my new office.”

	“Yes sir,” Justin giggled, leaning in to lightly brush his lips against Brian’s.  He felt just like a teenager, which is something he never had the chance to be.  Brian smiled back, enjoying the easy rapport he had with Justin.  

	“Since we have so much to work out between us, how about we start tonight and go to Babylon together.  We can say a quick hello to the gang and then it’ll just be you and me.”

	“That sounds good but I’ve got one stop to make first and I’m hoping you’ll come with me.”

	“If it involves a handful of condoms and a few tubes of lube than I’m there,” Brian replied.

	“Not quite, what about a frigid bitch of a mother and a lecture on the bible?”

	“Jesus Sunshine, can’t you think of a better way to spend a Friday night?” Brian said with a sigh.

	“Oh yeah, but I don’t want to live my fucking life in fear of what some woman who isn’t even my real mother thinks.  I’m done playing the dutiful son and I want her to know it,” Justin said in frustration.

	“Fine, I’m in but after this I don’t want her to have an affect on our lives again.  I haven’t needed her the last eleven years and I don’t think either of us do now.”

	“Then we agree.  I’ll pick you up at 8pm at your hotel,” Justin stated.

	“Not at my hotel.  I just closed on a loft last week.  It’s on Tremont.  I’ll write down the address for you,” Brian explained, grabbing for a pen and paper.

	“So you really are sticking around?” Justin said astonished.  Even though all signs had pointed in that direction, Justin had still thought something would come up and Brian would disappear again.  Finding a place to live finally made it real, even more than the office he was standing in.

	“Yes Sunshine, I am.  So get used to it.”

	Brian handed Justin the piece of paper, holding onto his hand a little longer than necessary.  Their eyes met one more time before Justin turned to walk out the door.  Brian stood watching until he disappeared from sight.

	At 8pm on the dot Justin pulled up in front of the loft.  He started to get out of his car, when Brian exited the door and walked over in his direction.

	“Hey Sunshine, thought I’d save you the trip upstairs.  That way you can be suitably impressed when I give you a tour later on tonight.”

	“Sounds good to me,” Justin breathed sexily into Brian’s ear.  Brian could feel his hairs stand up on end.

	The drive over to Joan’s flew by and Justin was shocked to find himself suddenly facing her door.  He knocked lightly, reaching out with one hand to clasp his fingers with Brian’s.  The door swung open suddenly and Joan froze when she caught sight of the two figures on her doorstep.  Her eyes focused in on their joined hands and she snorted with disgust.

	“Why are you both here?” she asked coldly.

	“Mother, I wanted to talk to you,” Justin explained, “Can I come in?”

	“No, I think it’s best you two stay out here.  It’s getting late and Brian made his point pretty clear a couple of weeks ago.  Justin, I was hoping you would come alone and we’d be able to correct the horrible misunderstanding we had back at that hotel room.  Don’t be ashamed that you were so easily influenced by Brian.  It’s why we sent him away in the first place.  I can get you help.  Don’t you worry,” Joan assured Justin.

	Justin couldn’t believe that Joan was still so blind to who he really was.  Brian gently squeezed Justin’s hand in encouragement.

	“Mother, I don’t need any help.  I’m gay and have been since I was twelve years old.  Brian didn’t influence me at all.  You’re right about one thing I have no reason to be ashamed.  It’s just who I am and you’re going to have to accept it.  And if you don’t, then that’s fine too.  Brian and I have each other and that’s really all the family I need.”

	“It’s against god’s plan.  What you and your brother are doing is a sin,” Joan asserted.

	“He’s not my brother, he’s my lover.  Don’t forget that,” Justin said harshly and turned to leave.  

	“I’ll be right with you,” Brian called after him and then turned to look at Joan one more time.

	“And I think that about sums it up, don’t you Mother?  We’re moving on and we don’t need your approval.  If you ever feel like getting off your high horse and actually having a relationship with either one of us than that’s your prerogative.  But I’m not holding my breath.  Until then, just stay the hell away and tell Claire to do the same.  She can find herself another babysitter.  Justin’s retired.”

	Before Joan could utter another word, Brian was gone and making his way back to the car.  It felt good to finally be free of her expectations.  Justin was leaning against the car when Brian reached him.  Quickly grabbing him by the back of the neck Brian pulled Justin into a hard toe-curling kiss.  Both men were breathing heavily when they finally separated.  Although neither glanced back, they both could feel Joan’s gaze burning into the back of their heads and it only fueled their fire.

	“Get in, I think I’m in the mood for dancing,” Justin suggested.  Brian nodded his head in agreement and hurried into the car.  The ride over to Babylon was filled with laughter and light-hearted conversation.  They were on such a high that neither man even thought of the ramifications of their actions when they entered the club holding hands and obviously amorous of one another.  Justin practically skipped up to the bar, tugging Brian close behind.  

	“Hey Eddie, 2 glasses of Beam, straight up,” Justin called to his favorite bartender.

	“Sure thing Taylor, haven’t seen you around in a while.  What the hell happened to you?”

	“Family business,” Justin replied nonchalantly.

	“Oh, well I hope everything’s worked out now.  The boys are over at the end of the bar if you’re looking for them.”

	“Maybe I will just go over and say hello.  And thanks, everything worked out perfectly,” Justin replied.

	Eddie noticed for the first time the tall good-looking man behind Justin and the closeness they seemed to share.  Justin had never been the affectionate type, except with his best friend, Michael.  He recognized the man by Justin’s side but couldn’t place his relation to the Stud of Liberty Ave.  If Eddie didn’t know any better, he would of thought the two men were a couple.

	“Come on Bri, let’s say the obligatory hello and then the rest of the night it’s just you and me.”

	“You got it Stud,” Brian chuckled, still unaccustomed to the way the whole bar seemed to follow Justin’s every move.  Although the blonde had yet to be aware of the gossip already surrounding them, Brian could hear every whisper concerning their not so veiled relationship.  He wasn’t sure whether he should warn Justin or not that their handholding was causing an uproar.  Not only were they blowing Justin’s reputation out of the water, but all of Brian’s headway in his own stud status was also being threatened.  He knew he should care but the hand in his felt too good to let go and he was sick of living up to someone’s expectations.  He suspected they both were.

	Michael noticed their presence first and practically ran over Ben trying to get over to them.  Once he was within reach, Michael grabbed onto Justin and pulled him into a tight embrace.

	“Shit Jus, you scared me half to death.  I wanted to start calling hospitals until Linds told me you had been in touch with her.  Don’t ever fucking do that to me again.  Ma was thisclose to putting up fliers all over Liberty Ave.  When did you get back?  Why didn’t you call me?  What are you and Brian doing here together?  Did he know where you were?  Because if he did and didn’t tell me than…” Michael rambled on in a hurry.

	“Calm the fuck down Mikey.  No, Brian did not know where I was so you can save your not so scary threats for someone else.  I was at Lindsey’s this whole time and now I’m back.  That’s all you need to know,” Justin explained calmly.

	“But then how does Brian fit into all of this?” Michael asked.

	“That’s simple, he’s my date tonight.”

	“YOUR WHAT?” the boys exclaimed at once.  Michael was a little suspicious but Emmett’s enthusiasm was almost contagious.

	“I’m so happy for you Baby,” Emmett squealed; pulling his roommate in for a long hug, too long for Brian’s taste who found it necessary to intervene after a few moments.

	“Come on Sunshine, you promised me a dance,” Brian said seductively.  With his finger hooked into the front loop of Justin’s jeans, Brian began to drag him to the dance floor but Michael grabbed onto Justin’s arm before he got very far.

	“Are you sure about this?  Everyone here is already starting to stare.  This is a pretty big statement,” Michael warned in a whisper.

	“I don’t care.  I want to be with Brian and maybe we won’t become your typical run of the mill couple but I can’t just let him go without a fight.  Whatever I was before this night doesn’t matter.  As of now I’m starting over and you can either accept the new Justin Taylor or not.  It’s up to you but I don’t want to lose my best friend,” Justin said emphatically.

	“You won’t,” Michael assured him, “I’ll always love you and support whatever it is you want to do, even if that includes falling in love with Brian Kinney.”

	“I am not in love,” Justin denied.

	“Oh yes you are, but I’ll let you figure that one out on your own,” Michael laughed at Justin, who responded with a glare.  Brian, completely oblivious to the contents of their conversation, yanked Justin into his arms.

	“Come on, you’re taking too long.”

	Justin was lost in Brian’s gaze and allowed himself to be maneuvered onto the dance floor.  Brian pulled him in close, inhaling the sweet smell of his shampoo.  Their bodies moved in perfect unison, grinding their cocks together until they could hardly control themselves.  Brian’s hands touched almost every part of Justin’s body, memorizing every detail.  Their friends watched from the sidelines, in awe of a Justin Taylor none of them knew even existed.

	“You know, everyone’s watching us.  Even our friends,” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear, taking a little nibble when he was done.  Justin gasped.

	“Let them watch.  I’m right where I want to be.  Are you?” Justin asked nervously as he pulled back to look into Brian’s eyes.  Brian smiled softly.

	“Yeah, I just can’t believe it took me eleven years to get here.”

	“That’s OK, maybe you were just waiting for me to grow up.  I got better with age,” Justin assured him.

	“You sure did.  I’ll have to thank Joan some day for sending me away and then bringing us together.”

	“Now that’s a conversation I’d love to hear,” Justin giggled.  Brian joined in and wrapped his body completely around Justin’s.  Joan no longer mattered, neither did the crowd watching them, all they needed was each other and once that was clear, everything else just faded to black.