Chapt 8

	
	Justin didn’t know how to answer Lindsey when she asked about Brian.  He was completely ready to lie through his teeth but found himself nodding his head instead.  The can of worms was now open and he had no idea how to get out of one of Lindsey’s favorite touchy feely conversations.  From the moment Lindsey had met the rebellious teenager it had been her goal to educate him on the finer things in life and open up his heart to the possibility of love.  She thought that it would not only help him emotionally but also artistically as well.  Unlucky for Justin, her methods involved way too much talking and an overabundance of “together time”.  Justin had been so happy to finally get his license and have a means to escape her heartfelt talks.

	“Linds, you just gotta trust me when I say this is something I have to deal with on my own.  No amount of hugs or inspirational phrases will make my life any easier right now.”

	“You love him, don’t you?”

	“Jesus Lindsey, do you not get the hint?  Of course, I love Brian.  At one point in my life we were very close.  Hell, we’re a part of the same family.”

	“I don’t mean love like the way you feel about Mikey.  I mean the type of love you used to sketch about.”

	“I don’t do that anymore,” Justin said defensively.  Lindsey was the only one he had shown his series of sketches depicting romantic love.  It was not exactly something he wanted to share with the masses of Liberty Ave.  It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in love.  He just figured it wasn’t an emotion he would ever experience with one person in particular so there was no point in thinking about it.  The sketches had happened one night after he had gone out drinking with Mikey and his current flame.  They had been all over each other all night and it was the first time he had ever wanted that too.  The reaction felt completely out of character to him but he had never fit into one category as much as everyone wanted him to.  Linds and Daph understood and now he had the strange suspicion that Brian would too.
	Justin sat down heavily in one of the chairs just outside the nursery.  Lindsey took the seat next to him and gently held his hand.  They both remained silent for a little while, just enjoying their closeness.  It always amazed Lindsey when she heard other people’s perceptions of Justin.  He may be the King Stud of Liberty Ave but he was still just a man who felt deeply and had unknowingly been looking for love his entire life.  It was ironic that he seemed to have found it with the man who at one point was like a brother to him.  Now they were practically strangers but Lindsey wouldn’t be surprised if that changed in the very near future.  If only they both let it.
	
	“You have a big heart Justin, no matter how hard you try to hide it.  I feel blessed that our son is going to be the one to benefit from it.  So just cut the bull and stop pretending you’re some heartless shit.  This is me you’re talking to, remember?”

	“Whatever possessed me to become friends with a muncher is beyond me.”

	“Better I like pussy than you.”

	“So true,” Justin laughed, finally getting himself to relax a bit.

	“Linds, would it be OK if I went in there and just held Gus for a little bit?” Justin asked shyly.

	“Sure thing, I’m just gonna lay down up in my room.  Make sure you come up to say good-bye before you go.”

	“Thanks.  I will,” Justin responded and approached the glass.  Lindsey watched him walk into the room and reach down to pick up Gus.  He cradled the baby tightly to his chest, supporting his head in the crook of his arm.  As much as Lindsey wanted to stay and spy on the two, she decided it would be best to allow Justin some time alone to bond with his son.
	Justin was absolutely exhausted and happy to take a seat in one of the rocking chairs nearby.  He rocked gently, lightly caressing Gus’ soft rosy cheek with his fingertips.  

	“Hey little Gus Man, do you think your mom is right?  Cause I know there are a lot of men on this planet and I’m not sure if it’s fair for you to end up with me as your dad.  Maybe Mikey would have been a better choice.  You really have your mom to thank for putting you in this situation.  When she gets a thought in her head, it’s impossible to shake her.  So you better watch out when you’re older, especially if she starts pushing any of that straight shit on you.”

	Gus slept peacefully, his tiny chest going up and down as he breathed deeply.  Justin continued to stare, allowing the easy rhythm to lull him to a much-needed sleep.

	Once Brian’s decision had been made, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.  Although he would have to wait for a bid to be accepted at Vanguard, Brian was already planning his great return.  His good-byes in New York would be mostly insignificant acquaintances, and a few tricks that garnered repeats when Brian was too tired to go out looking for fresh meat.  He’d miss the clubs and living life in the fast lane but it might be nice to actually have someone worth talking to on a regular basis.
	Brian suddenly felt the need to reacquaint himself with his hometown and jumped into his rental car for a drive.  He had no destination in mind when he left the hotel, only the desire to feel at home again.  The word was foreign to his own tongue and when he suddenly arrived at the hospital, the meaning became a little clearer.  It had been a few hours since Justin dropped him off so Brian assumed he would be long gone.  Brian just wanted to see his nephew again and begin to understand why Gus had affected him so much the night he was born.  Never before had Brian even wanted to look at a baby, much as less be in contact with one.  But for some reason he was drawn to the little blonde that was practically identical to his father at that age.
	Brian approached the maternity ward and was shocked to see Justin sleeping peacefully with his son.  The resemblance between the two was unmistakable.  Gus’ eyes were wide open as he gazed up at his father.  Instead of crying, he seemed content to just lie still and listen to Justin’s steady heartbeat.  Brian was about to ease his way through the door when he felt a tap on his shoulder.  He turned around to see a smiling Daphne behind him. 

	“Hey Brian, I’m surprised to see you here.  Mikey mentioned you were there for the birth but I never actually expected you to come back for a repeat visit.”

	Brian shrugged, “Why not?  It doesn’t fit the image you had all picked out for me?”

	“Actually no, it doesn’t.  I’ll admit I don’t know you very well.  I’m not sure I ever did but I do know Justin.  He’s one of the most wonderfully complex people you will ever meet.  I wouldn’t trade a single trait.  That doesn’t mean I don’t know all his flaws.  Those flaws I know so well?  You’ve got them too.  That baby exists because of Lindsey’s perseverance and Justin’s affection for alcohol.  Which brings me back to my original question.  Why are you here?”

	Brian stood staring at her a moment before he responded.  How can you answer a question you can’t figure out yourself?

	“Honestly Daph, I got in my rental car and this is where I ended up.  I had no idea Justin would still be here.”

	“What?” Daphne asked and finally approached the window to look in.  Her breath caught at the sight of Justin portraying the doting dad.  There was an innocence about him as he slept that she hadn’t seen in years.

	“How long has he been in there?”

	“Don’t know, just got here myself.”

	“I promised Linds I’d come right back so I better get going.  You should wake him soon.  He promised Claire he’d go over to her house for dinner tonight.  She practically begged him last week and he’s been dreading it ever since.  Duty calls and he’s never been the type to go back on his word.”

	“Fuck Claire.  She doesn’t deserve his loyalty.”

	“We’re all in agreement on that.”

	“Maybe I’ll tag along and supervise.  Make sure my frigid sister doesn’t rope him into taking care of her two spoiled brats.  I’ve hardly said hello to the both of them and can already tell they’re trouble.  I think Justin’s smart to keep them all away from Gus.”

	“You won’t get any arguments out of me.  Have a good night Brian and thanks for checking up on Justin and Gus.”

	“Hey, that’s what uncle’s do.”

	“It’s good to know you’re taking that job seriously.  That little boy needs all the sane family he can get,” Daphne laughed and disappeared with a wave.

	Brian approached the door one more time and darted in before anyone else could stop him.  He crept silently up to the rocking chair and kneeled down in front of it.  Cautiously Brian lifted his hand and cupped the left side of Justin’s face.  His thumb lightly stroked the area, feeling the soft blonde whiskers.  Peering down into Gus’s miniature face, Brian was mesmerized by the deep pools of blue.  He couldn’t believe all of the strange emotions coursing through his body and was too distracted to notice when Justin opened his eyes.  Justin’s eyes blinked a few times to clear his vision.

	“Bri?” he asked softly.  

	Brian’s eyes immediately locked with Justin’s and held for a moment.  Before he could really analyze his feelings, Justin’s free hand was at the back of his neck and pulling his head down to meet Justin’s raspberry lips.  The kiss started light and soft but grew more demanding as both men gave into the moment.  Brian’s teeth lightly grazed Justin’s lower lip, causing him to open his mouth to Brian’s assault.  Their tongues dueled passionately until Justin could no longer breath.  He pulled back startled by the heat between them and the wiggling little body in his arms.  Both men breathed heavily as they tried to regain their control.

	“Shit Sunshine, I’m sorry.  I guess I got a little carried away.  You OK Sonny boy?” Brian asked, leaning down to look into the baby’s face.

	Justin couldn’t help but laugh when he heard the endearment.  Jack Kinney had made both of their lives a living hell but they were still his sonny boy’s.  It was nice to hear the word said with affection for once.  Shaking his head to get back into the present, Justin looked up at Brian curiously.

	“Why are you here?”

	“That seems to be a popular question for today.”

	“Originality can be over rated.”

	“How about we discuss it on our way over to our wicked sister’s house?”

	“Shit, I completely forgot!  Wait, did you just say you were coming?”

	“Can’t get anything by you Sunshine.  Now hurry up and put Gus down before I change my mind.”

	Justin immediately complied, taking an extra moment to spread a soft blue blanket over his tiny body.  Grabbing his coat, Justin couldn’t help but wonder how smart it was to be spending so much time with Brian.  The man was quickly becoming a part of almost all aspects of his life.  At least tonight he would have someone else on his side.  It felt like he was a kid again, the two of them against the world.  

	“I’m ready Bri, let’s go.”