Chapt 4


	Justin felt groggy when he finally woke up the next morning.  The sun filtered through his blinds, causing him to squint as he finally opened his eyes.  His foot came in contact with another body at the end of his bed and Justin jumped slightly, focusing on the man staring down at him.

	“Brian, what are you doing here?  How did you even get in?”

	“Your roommate, Emmett, let me in as long as I swore to behave myself.  You promised that we would talk today,” Brian explained.

	“Yeah, I figured it would be later in the day.  I wasn’t really expecting you to be sitting on my bed staring at me the moment I woke up,” Justin replied.

	“I didn’t want you to have a chance to run off again.”

	“Fine, I won’t run but would you mind waiting for me in the living room so I can get some clothes on and brush my teeth.”

	Brian’s eyes grazed across Justin’s bare chest and rested momentarily on the bulge beneath the sheets.  Justin’s hands moved to cover it, quickly explaining, “It’s just my morning hard on so don’t get any ideas that it has anything to do with you.  Now if you’ll be a gentleman and excuse me I’d like to get dressed.”

	Brian nodded his head and exited the room.  He smiled to himself when the door clicked and locked behind him.  Brian wandered over to the kitchen, where Emmett was just finishing his cup of coffee.  He eyed Brian warily.

	“You didn’t do anything, did you?” Emmett asked suspiciously.

	“Don’t worry, Little Sunshine’s virtue is still intact.”

	Emmett let out a loud belly laugh, before he could stop himself.  Brian looked over at him perplexed.

	“I’m sorry Handsome but you obviously know very little about Justin.  That boy doesn’t have a virtuous bone in his delicious body.    Don’t get me wrong, cause I do love that boy, but from before we even met three years ago he’s been a tomcat on the prowl.  He scores more action in a week than I do in a whole year.  Every night he has his pick of anyone at Babylon he wants.  Your “Little Sunshine” is the King Stud of Liberty Ave.”

	Brian had heard briefly about Justin’s reputation last night but it was different in broad daylight.  If Brian had stuck around town he had no doubt that label would have been bestowed upon him.  At 18 he was already becoming firmly established on Liberty Ave.  Now he was considered fresh meat and Babylon was Justin’s playground.  It was all too strange to even think about.  Justin had turned into a carbon copy of himself, only new and improved.  Brian had never trusted anyone enough to let them into his life, not after he left Pittsburgh.  But Justin had this whole network of friends who cared about him and who he obviously cared for in return.  It amazed him to think about how two people could be raised in the same hellish existence and turn out so different, yet also the same.  He was so deep in his thoughts he hadn’t even noticed Emmett get up to leave until he called his name.

	“Brian, I don’t know you but it’s obvious you were someone both Justin and Michael looked up to way back when so you can’t be all bad.  Just be careful where you tread in these new relationships with them.  Michael was old enough to remember the good times but Jus was just a kid.  His memories of you are very vague, more centered on emotion.  I think he knows you cared enough to watch over him but that’s been overshadowed by years of pain.  It’s gonna take some time for him to get his bearings.  You don’t know what he’s been through”

	“And he doesn’t know what I have either.  We both grew up in that house.  All I’m looking for is a chance to tell him my side of the story.  He needs to hear it and make up his own mind.”

	“You’ll get no argument from me, Sweetheart.  Actually you won’t have to worry about me at all.  I’m off to cater a party.  Tell my gorgeous boy I had to run and we’ll catch up tonight at the diner.”

	“You got it and thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.  I’m glad Justin has you and Mikey looking out for him.”

	“We take care of our own and Jus definitely fits into that category.  Who knows, if you stick around then maybe you will too.”

	Emmett gave a bright smile before leaving the apartment with a wave.  He had no doubt Brian would be sticking around town for a while.  It would take longer than a few days to thaw Justin Taylor out and there was no way that man was leaving town until he did.
	Brian waited patiently for another couple of minutes before Justin came out to join him.  He was completely dressed but his hair still had the adorable just woke up appearance.  Brian wondered if that’s how he looked every morning.  Brian sat down on a nearby couch and scooted over to give Justin room to join him.  Justin was hesitant but eventually took the offered spot.

	“Can I get you something to eat or drink?” Justin offered politely.
	
	Brian shook his head and leaned forward a little, his eyes never leaving Justin’s.

	“Fine, then talk.  I’ve got a busy day ahead of me and would really like to get this out of the way now so I can continue on with my life.”

	“You like your life?” Brian asked.

	“Yeah, it’s not perfect or anything but you do what you can.  Nothing was ever easy and I got used to that.  I fought hard for everything I have,” Justin stated.

	“So did I.”

	“I don’t doubt that.  The question remains how you could just drop out of all of our lives without once wondering what we were going through, what I was going through.”

	Brian nodded his head in understanding and took a deep breath before starting to speak.

	“I want to tell you everything so please don’t interrupt and listen to everything before judging me.  It’s important.”

	“Fine, just go ahead.”

	“Practically from the moment I was born until I left for college I was Jack Kinney’s personal punching bag.  He never wanted me born to begin with and Claire had always been the good child.  When I was ten and you moved in, Jack wasn’t sure what to do with you.  It was one more mouth to feed and he didn’t like that Joan had taken an immediate liking to you either.  There were moments when you just a toddler that I thought Jack might get drunk enough to really hurt you and I couldn’t let that happen.”

	“I know,” Justin replied.

	“You don’t know the half of it Justin.  You were still a baby.  After the first few years Jack started to warm up to you a bit and I thought maybe you would be spared like Claire.  That’s when I realized he was on a mission.  His new goal was to make up for my shortcomings and turn you into the perfect son.  I had been a big failure in his eyes and he had the opportunity to make it right with you.”

	“What?  That doesn’t make any sense,” Justin exclaimed.  Jack Kinney had been abusive and cruel from the moment Brian walked out the door.  There was no way he was ever proud of anything Justin had ever accomplished.  

	“It does make sense if he just found out his only biological son is a faggot.”

	“He knew?”

	Justin looked at Brian in utter shock.  Over the years Justin had never even considered coming out of the closet to the Kinney’s.  There was no way his homophobic father or bible beating mother would accept a faggot in their midst.  It was also none of their business.  They had given up their right to know the real Justin a long time ago.  Hell, they weren’t really his parents anyway.

	“Yeah, but it’s not like I told him or anything.  He came looking for me after one of my soccer games and found me in the locker room receiving a blowjob from one of my teammates.”

	“Holy Shit!”

	“I know.  He beat me so bad that night, I could hardly walk to school the next day.  Then the following week he pulled me aside and warned me to stay away from you.  He was afraid I would corrupt his only chance at a “real” son. So I packed my bags for college and agreed with him to never come back.  He said if I did he would find his own way to insure you became the perfect straight son he had always envisioned,” Brian explained.

	“And you believed him?” Justin asked

	“Hell yeah!  He described in detail how he would hurt you and make me watch.  I couldn’t risk it so I left.  I thought about coming back when I got out of college but it wasn’t the right time.  Then too much time had gone by and I figured you would have forgotten all about me.”

	“When you first left I was devastated.  I remember feeling so betrayed,” Justin began while Brian reached out to hold his hand, “Then the only thing I could focus on was survival.  He might not have followed through with all of his plans to keep me straight but he never hesitated to beat me while you were gone.  The weirdest things would set him off.  I guess the whole irony of things is that with or without your influence I still grew up to be like you.”

	Both men couldn’t help but laugh at how everything had turned out.  Jack’s greatest fear had come true and he didn’t even know it.  

	“But Justin, you’re not just like me.  You have so many people in your life that care about you.  I don’t know how it was even possible growing up in that house.”

	“I was lucky I had the Novotny’s, Daphne, and my art.  Then I met Lindsey when I was maybe fifteen.  She really expanded my perceptions of the world.  She taught me to see the good in people and not always expect a recreation of my youth.”

	“Which one is Lindsey?  Have I met her?”

	“Not yet, but you will.  She was the pregnant blonde at the funeral.”

	“Oh yeah, pretty lady.”

	“Thanks.  You should tell her to her face.  She eats that kind of shit up.”
	
	Both men chuckled, enjoying the momentary respite from any big heavy issues.  Justin felt completely drained from the serious discussion.  Brian’s reasoning did make some sense but eleven years of hardened feelings were impossible to just let go of.  He still needed time to let everything sink in.”

	“Brian thanks for coming over to talk but it’s a lot to absorb in one day.  I can’t give you the absolution that you want.  I can, however, try to put our past behind us and get to know the man you are now.  You’ll just have to be a little patient with me.  We’re basically strangers but I’d like us to be friends.  Do you think we can do that?”

	Brian nodded his head and agreed.  Justin’s willingness to allow him into his life was more than Brian had hoped for.  As they stared into one another’s eyes, Brian found himself getting lost in the twin pools of blue.  He began to realize more and more that friendship wasn’t the only thing he wanted from Justin.  The kiss from last night was still fresh in his mind.  He just had to wait and give Justin time to warm up to him.  They still had a lot to learn about one another.

	“So, I’ve got to head over to the studio today to work on a project but why don’t you meet me and the gang later at the diner?  It’ll be a good opportunity for you to spend some time with my fucked up little family.”

	“Sure, that would be nice,” Brian replied and finally let go of Justin’s hand.  He hadn’t even realized he was still holding it until Justin stood up.  They casually said their good-byes before Justin headed toward his studio deep in thought.  The story Brian had told him was unexpected and added another dimension to the Brian Kinney mystery.  He wanted to know more about this man and wondered why it was so easy letting him into his life.  Justin had a strange feeling that starting today his life would be different.  

	As Brian headed back to his hotel, he came to the conclusion that two more days in Pittsburgh wasn’t going to cut it.  There was no way he would be able to worm his way into Justin’s life in such a short period of time.  His thoughts were all over the place when he pulled up to a traffic light and looked to his right at the sign for Vanguard Advertising Agency.  Quickly grabbing his cell phone, Brian hit the number two on his speed dial and put the phone to his ear.

	“Cynthia, I need you to find out everything you can about the Vanguard Agency.  Oh, and how do you feel about moving back to Pittsburgh?”