Chapt 4 – Flashback - 3 months ago *Warnings – there is some violence in this one Justin POV I’ve never been ashamed of who I am but I’ve never really been out of the closet either. In high school it was just easier keeping my sexual life to myself. I had ventured down to Liberty Ave a couple of times and given my fair share of blow jobs, but I never met anyone worth more than one night’s exploration. Not much changed once I started at PIFA, except my steadily increasing steps out of the closet. All of my friends knew I was gay and I had started dating a couple of different guys. Again, no one I was interested in a serious relationship with. So tonight I was on maybe my second date with Andrew and beginning to think that it might be nice to fall in love. I’m not sure if Andrew’s the guy, although it won’t stop me from an after date interlude in my dorm room. God bless singles! We had dinner at a beautiful Italian restaurant and I felt giddy from the wine. We were both stumbling down the hall and into my room, laughing and talking in-between heated kisses. It was still early so I figured we could have a quick fuck and have plenty of time for some dancing before calling it a night. My parents were planning on taking me to breakfast the next day to celebrate my birthday a little early. I didn’t even bother shutting the door completely as we rushed in and wrestled one another to the bed. We were too caught up in each other to really care. I lifted my arms up so Andrew could pull my shirt over my head. His followed closely behind. I kissed down his chest, circling his nipples with tiny bites. “God Justin, you’re driving me crazy.” I smiled down at him, loving every whimper. As my fingers unzipped his jeans, Andrew arched up towards me and pulled my head back towards his so we could kiss. I panted into his mouth. “I could kiss you forever but there are other things I’d like to do with my mouth as well” We both laughed while I continued to kiss every inch of his body, leading down to his cock that I had freed from his boxers. My tongue was lapping up the first of his pre-cum when I heard someone gasp in the doorway. My head whipped up and met my mother’s shocked stare and standing directly behind her was my dad. “Holy shit” I yelped and jumped to my feet, throwing a nearby pillow on Andrew’s lap. “What the hell are you doing here?” At first neither of them answered me. Their eyes were flitting back and forth between me and Andrew, taking in our obvious arousal. I opened my mouth to speak again but was cut off by my dad’s steel tone. “Justin, I think it’s time your little friend left so we can have a little chat. We wanted to surprise you with a late dinner, but I guess you had other plans. Would you mind excusing us young man?” My father was staring intently at Andrew, who by this time had managed to zip himself up and was searching frantically for his shirt. I grabbed it off the floor and flung it in his direction. He looked at me gratefully and practically flew through the door, tossing me a quick “I’ll call you,” before my dad slammed the door shut behind him. His eyes narrowed as he approached me while the rest of his face remained emotionless. My eyes stayed locked with his but I could hear my mom crying and muttering under her breath “how could this happen?” “what did we do wrong?” “maybe it’s only temporary.” I couldn’t really focus on her ramblings when my father was standing stoically in front of me. “Justin, you want to tell me what the hell is going on?” I took a deep breath and quietly whispered the last words I ever said to my dad, “I’m gay.” He nodded his head slightly and for a moment I thought he would hit me. Instead he looked me right in the eyes and calmly explained the way things were going to be. “That is unacceptable. I allowed you, against my better judgement, to go to this school and dabble in your paints because your mother promised me it was a passing phase and you could always transfer in the future. I’m not sure if this is a phase too but I don’t give a damn. No son of mine is going to be taking it up the ass on my dime. So from now on you’re on your own. No more dorm room where you can practice your disgusting lifestyle. No more tuition that’ll allow you to be surrounded by other little faggots. To me, you don’t exist. Don’t bother calling or writing, because I don’t want to hear it. You better decide what you want to take with you, because as of noon tomorrow you are no longer a student here. Jennifer, give him his birthday card, because that’s all you’ll be getting from us from now on. Let’s go. Our daughter is at home, waiting for us.” Dad walked out the door, without even looking back to see if Mom was following. She was shaking from the shock of what had just happened. Tears dripped down both of her cheeks and she roughly pulled me into a hug. Her breath was warm on my ear as she whispered; “I love you Baby and don’t worry. Give it some time and he’ll cool-down. You’ll be surrounded by love again. Just wait.” And then she was gone. I fell to the floor, clutching at my stomach like I was going to puke. I didn’t though, all that came up were more sobs of pain. I did what my father suggested and packed up the items I couldn’t live with out. I had never really cared for material possessions, which made it easy to decide. I grabbed my backpack and threw in a couple of sketchbooks, some warm shirts, and a couple pairs of jeans. I tucked my birthday check for $200 into the back pocket of my jeans and left early the next morning. Two hundred wasn’t going to get me far, but maybe my mom was right and everything would work out sooner than I thought. A few days later I left my mom a message with the number of a flea bag motel that I was staying at. She never called back and the next day the money ran out. Now I really was on my own. I thought about calling Daphne but she had gone out of state for college and I had too much pride to bring her down with me. There was no money for even a bus ride at this point. As I pondered how I was going to come up with the cash, I passed a group of hustlers on the street. A car slowed down next to me and a man leered in my direction, mistaking me for one of them. I shook my head to dismiss him but then a thought crept into my head. What if I did hustle once or twice, just enough to earn a bus ticket. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It was just like tricking, only I’d be getting paid. I pulled the zipper of my jacket down to expose a little more flesh and found a spot to stand just around the corner from the other boys. It didn’t take long before a black mustang pulled up. I leaned down toward the open window, unsure what was the proper protocol, and smiled widely at the man inside. He was actually a good looking man with broad shoulders, rippling muscles, and dark tan. There’s no way he should have to pay for it but some guys must like a little guarantee every once and a while. He asked me how much and once we had settled on a fair price, I jumped in. It didn’t take long for us to reach his hotel room. I held my head high as I entered, not wanting to give away my inexperience. I had only gotten a few feet, when my trick whipped me around and pulled me flush against him. I could hardly breath as he plundered my mouth with his, allowing his tongue to explore every crevice. I tried to pull back a little but his grip was firm and I was far too weak to put up any sort of decent protest. His hands quickly stripped me of all of my clothes, until I was naked in front of him. I waited for him to undress too but he just stood there, looking me up and down. Finally he eased off his coat and took out what I thought must be a condom. Then he turned me around so I was facing away from him. I bent slightly at the waist, figuring now was the time for him to enter me but he stopped me with one arm and pulled my body back against his. I could feel the hardness of his cock as his jeans pressed into me and the cool chill of metal as a switchblade was pressed to my abdomen. I opened my mouth to protest but was cut off by the trick. “Don’t fuckin say a word, Pretty Boy or I really will use this on you. We’re just gonna play a little game. You like games, don’t you?” I nodded my head meekly, realizing I had just made the worst mistake of my life and had no choice but to ride it out. The trick’s other hand wrapped around my dick, slowly stroking it to hardness. I gasped uncontrollably and pressed back harder against the trick, in an attempt to get closer and avoid the blade. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you Dirty Boy?” I nodded my head again, not wanting to upset him. His hand began to move faster. My breathing accelerated even more and as I felt my orgasm building, the knife lightly grazed my skin. My mind immediately shut itself down from the pleasure, when the pain began to course through my body. I could feel the trickle of blood from another cut on my lower stomach and another higher on my chest. I could hardly breath, much as less scream. His strong fingers were now kneading into my flesh, twisting and squeezing everywhere within their reach. “Do you feel it now, how much the pain can intensify the pleasure?” There was no pleasure. I’m not even sure if I was still hard, but it didn’t matter. I realized now, that there wasn’t going to be any fucking. That wasn’t what this was about. My body was his canvas and he was busy decorating my flesh will all the colors of the rainbow. I felt the knife cut a little deeper one more time, before I blacked out. My last thoughts being there was no way Daphne could see me now. It would just be easier if I no longer existed because everything outside of my own mind was filled with pain. Hot sharp pain and I didn’t want to feel it anymore. I didn’t want to feel anything anymore. The next time I opened my eyes, I was laying in a dirty alley with my clothes half on. My blood was beginning to dry but my body was drenched with the sticky feel of it. I tried to pull my clothes on the best I could and was relieved to find my backpack on the ground next to me. I hurt too much to move and had no place to go anyway. I curled into myself, hiding my body from the world. I’m not sure how much time past before I heard someone speaking to me. “Hey, you OK? Kid, I think you need to go to a hospital. You’ve got blood all over you.” I shook my head vehemently. I couldn’t afford to go to a hospital. Plus there would be people there. I didn’t want to see anyone, not even the hustler talking to me. I closed my eyes and willed him to disappear. I thought that maybe it had worked until I felt the roughness of his fingers on my skin. I jerked away suddenly, shoving him off of me. “Whoa, hold up. I’m not gonna hurt you. I just wanted to see how bad off you were. My name’s Hunter. What’s yours?” I shook my head again, looking down at my shoes. “So I guess you’re playing hard to get. That’s fine with me but it’s not safe for you here. Don’t you have somewhere you can go?” I shook my head again. It was the only response I was capable of giving. His face seemed to soften as he looked at me. “Well, I don’t have anywhere to go either. That’s why me and the other hustlers look out for each other. If you want, I could look out for you too.” I didn’t want anyone looking at me at all but Hunter actually seemed to care. It was a strange concept, after the way my parents had rid themselves of me. I just stared at him for the longest time, before he stood to leave. “I don’t want to leave you here alone, but I’ve got a customer waiting and I really need the money. Maybe once I get paid I can bring you back some food. We can share it.” I wasn’t sure how to react to someone’s kindness, so I remained silent and watched him walk away. I assumed we would never see each other again but a couple hours later he came back with two subs and a couple bags of chips. He started to sit down across from me but I edged away before his ass had even touched the pavement. He stood back up and glared down at me, before allowing a smile to shine through. “Fine, I get it but don’t think this is the last you’ll see of me. This is for you. I didn’t know what you’d like so I got turkey with everything on it. That way you can take off anything you don’t like. I’ll leave you alone now, although don’t be surprised if you see me back here tomorrow. I’m gonna be keeping on eye on you for now on. Good night Blondie.” Hunter left the bag of food a couple feet away and waved as he walked down the street. Once he had disappeared from sight, I devoured the food left behind. The next day he came back again and the day after that his friends joined him. Eventually we were all eating together and shortly after that, I followed them out of the alley.