Chapter One Sad Story A dim lamp and books are placed on a long table, inches away from the side of the large bed Justin is sitting on. Big pillows are placed behind him to support his back and a warm dark red and beige duvet covers his hips, legs and feet. The night nurse had placed her bags and medical equipment on a table at the opposite side of the room. He is alone in his room. The first snowfall had fallen during the day and now, in the night’s dark blue sky, the white snow rested on the frozen lawn lit by the glowing, warm, orange streetlamps. Justin silently looks out the large window on the left side of his bedroom. The full moon is bright-white and millions of stars shine above. He exhales and rests his head against the bedhead. His eyes gaze sideways towards the window sill. Thoughts and memories come and go through his mind as he lies on his deathbed. He hears a few knocks on the door before an aging woman comes in; she has light brown and gray hair tucked in a bun and rosy cheeks. The woman wears a white nurses’ gown with her stethoscope around her neck. She takes the board with his medical information and reads, Justin Craig Taylor 39 years old and a list of his allergies and pills he must take daily. Justin watches her as she steps forward; he fakes a smile in the corners of his mouth and puts his weight on his hands to sit up straight. “Hi Justin, how are you doing tonight?” She holds her hands together as she smiles with her lips pursed together. “I’m fine.” Justin answers, his voice weak. His mouth feels dry. “Where’s the other nurse that came in last night?” “She felt sick, honey.” She says softly. “I’ll take her place for now if that okay with you.” “Of course.” Justin’s voice is breaking. “Oh, sorry for not introducing myself.” she says and places the board on a one-seat couch in the corner. “My name’s Debbie.” She smiles, her cheek blushes. “Do you want anything for tonight, in case you have a headache, Sunshine?” she asks him. “Sure.” Justin nods once; he hesitates on his response, and holds his hand out to take two small white pills that she hands him. He licks his lips, takes one in his mouth and swallows it quickly with saliva. He places the second one on his long night table, beside his books. She looks at the table where she had placed his food tray earlier while he was sleeping; she lifts the cover and sees that he hasn’t touched a thing. “Justin, you must eat.” She stares down at him as she puts the cover back on top. “I know you’re probably not hungry but force yourself.” Justin inadvertently rolls his eyes, seeing that she has taken the role of his mother already. He nods mindlessly, his thoughts drifting elsewhere. She moves towards him, her gentle hands checking his forehead’s temperature, the pulse on his neck and the pulse on his inner wrist. He doesn’t move or look alert as she handles him. “Listen, I’m very weak and I feel like the room is spinning.” he says as she touches him at different spots on his body for his daily check. “Do you mind if I ask you to leave early tonight?” Justin lowers himself away from her and goes down under the covers. “Okay, but I’ll be back here in the morning.” She walks away towards the door and turns around. “Get some rest, goodnight Sunshine.” She smiles and leaves the room, closing the door behind her. He tilts his head towards the window and lets his thoughts and past recollected memories roam through his consciousness… (memory) It’s late in the afternoon on a cold, breezy, July day. Justin sits on the coach bus bench, his duffle bag on the seat beside him and holds a thick paperback book in his hand. Consumed with the book, he bites his thumb and bottom lip, his eyes never leaving the words printed on his page. The bus comes to an abrupt stop. His body jerks forwards as the conductor brakes. He looks up and closes his novel. Justin puts it back in his bag. He pulls the bag over his shoulder and gets up from his seat, discreetly stretching from a three-hour ride. A boy is waiting for him outside; he’s alone by his car, parked on the sandy grass. He’s twenty-two years old, wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a tight-fitting black shirt. A lit cigarette is placed between his lips and another one behind his ear, hidden by strands of dark, dirty, blond hair. Justin gets out of the coach, a duffle bag hanging around his shoulder and holding another in his strong grip. With his free hand he takes his hat off his head, showing long, blond locks of hair blowing sideways in the strong wind. “Nikko.” He smiles widely as he sees his friend leaning against his car. “Justin.” He steps towards him, throwing his cigarette on the dusty ground and wraps his arms strongly around Justin’s body. Justin hugs him back with one arm. “How’s the Groom doing?” Justin asks his long-time friend as they walk to the parked convertible car. Justin throws his bags in the backseats and sits in the passenger seat. “You know I’m good.” he smiles towards Justin as he slams the door shut. He takes the cigarette from behind his ear and lights it between his lips. “How’s my Best Man doing?” he blows the smoke to the side. “Fine. Can I bum a smoke?” Justin takes the cigarette Nikko hands him and inhales deeply. Nikko lights another one he took from his pocket. The smoke quickly flies away in the wind. “You smoke way too much, man.” Justin comments. “Shut up, it’s a very stressful time for me.” Nick tells Justin, acting like he’s serious. “Bullshit, you always smoked too much; it has nothing to do with you getting married.” Justin turns his head towards his friend. “It’s true; I haven’t seen her in, what? Two days, and I miss her with all my heart.” “This so doesn’t sound like you. Cut it.” Justin furrows his brows. Nick laughs and nudges Justin’s shoulder. “Can’t wait till you meet her. Rachel’s the most amazingly beautiful girl you’ll ever see.” he says gazing at the road. Justin looks at his happy friend and smiles. Nick laughs. “I know, I sound like a fool.” “Here it is.” Nikko says as they drive up the dirt road to a large, Victorian house. “My parent’s old house.” “We’ll be staying in there?” Justin asks, stunned by the beautiful house. Roses and vines grow all around the house with large windows surrounding it. “Isn’t it the nicest house you’ve ever seen? My parents lent me the key for the bachelor party but I have to give it back again by the end of the weekend.” Nikko explains to Justin. “How come I’ve never heard of it when we were in high school?” Justin asks. He gets out of the car as Nikko parks it. He steps out, his eyes never leaving the sight of the house. Behind, on the horizon, there’s an endless ocean. The sun is setting late in shades of pink, yellow and blue. The moon is slowly making its appearance low in the sky. Nick shrugs and takes Justin’s duffle bag out of the backseat. “Come on, we’ll get your bags inside.” “Here’s the most amazing place on earth. You’ll never stay anywhere better.” Nick mumbles with his cigarette between his lips as he pushes the doors open. Justin huffs a laugh. In the center of the room, a large stairway leads up to all the bedrooms and bathrooms that are formed in a U-shape on the second floor. Doors on each side lead to the kitchen and living rooms. Some of Nikko’s friends are sitting on the living-room couches and in the large stairway, talking, laughing and taking their belongings up into some of the bedrooms. (reality) Justin jerks his eyes open and takes in a sharp breath as he realizes he has fallen asleep, with his memories playing like a movie in his mind. A cold wind was blowing through the billowy curtains covering the large window in the room. The moonlight shines brightly inside Justin’s bedroom. He pulls the covers away from his body and sits up in his bed, his bones aching. He gets up and closes the windows, and then gets back into bed. Justin snuggles with himself in the soft duvets. The air in the room was now fresh. It smells like cold, cold like the first night of winter. It feels good as the breeze hits his skin. Despite the cold temperature, Justin sweats and has chills at the same time, such an uncomfortable feeling. He leans over his night table and reaches for the small, white pill the nurse had given him. Then he swallows it with a gulp of water. He takes a long, deep breath and tilts his head against his pillow, letting his imagination drift away… (memory) Nikko hooks one arm over Justin’s shoulders as they walk outside Nick’s Victorian house. A couple of guys are hanging around outside, smoking and talking. Some stand up from where they were sitting when a black car speeds towards the house. Justin and Nikko wait and watch the car speeding. A smile spreads across Nikko’s lips. “There’s somebody I want you to meet.” Nick says and looks at Justin with a smirk. He walks him onto the grass and gardens. The black car slows down and brakes. Dust clouds form around the wheels. A dark man comes out the car; he wears black sunglasses, used jeans and a tight-fitting black shirt. His skin is nicely tanned and his longish, dark-brown hair brushes against his neck as he moves. He takes a bag out of the passenger seat of his car and pulls it over his shoulder. Nikko walks up to him. “Hey Nick.” The guy says seductively. They wrap their arms strongly around each other. As they pull away, Nikko turns to Justin. “This here is Brian Kinney.” Nikko smiles widely. “Brian, this is Justin.” Brian nods in Justin’s direction. As he steps closer, he bites his bottom lip. “Kinney’s a musician.” Nikko says to Justin. Brian smirks and looks down to his feet behind his black sunglasses. “Justin’s my Best Man.” He lightly hits Justin’s knee with his foot. “Looks like he likes you better. He picked you over me.” Brian says to Justin. Justin huffs a laugh and crooks a smile. “Come on, just so you know, you were the next one on my list.” Nikko nudges Brian’s shoulder. “I’m touched.” Brian says. “He’s a very talented artist.” Nikko says as he lights his eighth cigarette of the day. “An artist.” Brian repeats softly. “So-called artist, I don’t do it as a profession or anything.” Justin says, pulling his bottom lip inwards. Nick laughs. “Yeah. Well, I say you’re both the best at whatever you guys do.” Nikko pulls Justin towards him. “Come on, let’s get a drink and start partying ‘cause I’m fucking getting married in two days, man.” He exclaims loudly and leans a hand against Brian. “Waooh!” He yells and some of the guys on the porch yell words back. (reality) Justin opens his eyes to reality. He looks above the dresser beside his full-length mirror and his bathroom door. There’s a box shaped like a treasure chest peeking from the edge. He pushes the covers away and slides out of his bed. He steps weakly to the tall dresser and reaches over to grab the antique box. He takes it to his bed and huddles under the sheets, placing the box over his lap. He opens it slowly with one hand. It’s dusty. Inside there’s newspaper articles, old souvenirs, a rosary with dark red and gold beads, old pictures and some of Hazel’s baby stuff.