Chapter Two "Baby It's Cold Outside" Brian felt like a total ass.‘How in the hell could I not have noticed?’ he asked himself. "So try it," Justin prompted in reference to Brian's untouched cocoa mug “It's very good,” he said after taking a heavy gulp Justin smiled and brought one of his legs up onto the sofa, “It’s Frango chocolate. I get it shipped from Chicago. Its like my most favorite thing in the world," he said dramatically. Brian smiled at the boy’s enthusiasm," So you liking hot cocoa... it doesn’t have anything to do with it being a cliché' part of Christmas time?” Justin shook his head," Hell no. I make this stuff in the summer.” Brian laughed," I like peppermints.” “Peppermints?" Justin asked wrinkling his blond brows in confusion. “You know.. The red and white little candies..” “Hey, I know what a peppermint is.” “Right. Well, I love peppermints. They're my favorite candy. My grandmother always had them in her candy jars. Every time I went over to her house when I was little she would give them to me. I eat them all year round and people think I’m crazy because….well.. I guess they think you can’t eat them anytime but Christmas or something,” Brian laughed. “I’m not sure why I just told you that,” he could actually feel himself blushing. “If you love peppermint than you’ll love the peppermint cocoa I have. If you finish that cup I’ll make you some of that,” Justin said. Brian smiled back and then took a couple of large drinks,“Um.. Okay. But, shouldn’t you be like resting or something?” Justin sipped the last of his drink before answering, “I feel fine actually. I got a check-up today and my doctor said we are just fine. We're in perfect health actually,” Justin moved his hand to his stomach and rubbed it proudly. Brian couldn’t help but bask in Justin’s glowing pride. He looked at the hand and saw a gold ring shining on his ring finger,“Where is your husband?” Justin’s hand stopped moving and his eyes clouded over with darkness. He looked at Brian and wanted so badly to share his pain with this man, but didn’t want to burden him. He could feel his eyes start to tear up and closed them tightly to stop them from falling. Brian moved closer to Justin and put his hand on the boy's arm and rubbed it soothingly. He hadn't meant to upset the blond with his overzealous question,“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. But, I’ll listen if you want.” Brian was surprised at the words coming out of his mouth. More than surprised, but it had been so long since he'd been able to just sit and talk with someone. He actually enjoyed Justin's presence. That realization scared him, but it also made him want to spend more time with Justin. Justin leaned into Brian’s body, feeling the larger man’s heat against his own body. It was so comforting, but so very confusing. He felt himself wanting more of Brian's touch, the feel of his soft hand rubbing soothingly on his arm made his heart flutter. But Justin didn’t understand how he could even be thinking about Brian. He felt like he was the betrayer. Especially because it hadn't been that long since Neil…. “He passed away,” Justin couldn’t believe he’d been able to get the word past his lips. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever ACTUALLY said it before. Justin stared into Brian's shocked beautiful hazel eyes. He hadn't had anyone to share his grief and pain with. The days that he wanted to stay in bed, not eat or sleep, there had been no one there to comfort him. There was only himself and his baby. Focusing on the child within him was the only light in what seemed to be the never-ending darkness he'd been thrust into six months prior. Now he was sitting with someone, a stranger that...well...Brian didn't feel like a stranger at all. He felt like he was talking to a friend that could possibly become more. However, Justin's fears of abandonment and betrayal were bubbling inside him too. He wasn't sure he could trust this man, hell, any man ever again. After all, Brian would be gone in a few minutes anyway and probably forget all about him. Tossing any words that would spill from his lips to the wind. “I’m sorry," Brian told him, at a loss for what else to say when he felt the blond start to shake under his caress. Justin choked back his emotions and finally, resigned himself to his fate and scooted away from Brian’s comfort. He mechanically grabbed their empty mugs, set them on the tray and quickly stood up, “I’m going to go make that cocoa.” Brian watched Justin disappear from the room, his heart felt heavy and it hurt. He wasn’t exactly sure why. ‘What is it that is drawing me to Justin? he wondered. ‘Why do I feel the sudden need to make him happy? Why do I want to take away his pain and see him smile at me?’ In the kitchen Justin was having most of the same conversation in his head. In the six months since Neil had died he’d not had a meaningful or fun conversation with anyone besides his Doctor. And even Doctor Rhine couldn’t make him feel as happy and carefree as Brian seemed to have done. He wanted to know Brian. Be his friend and maybe…no. ‘There’s no way he would ever want me,’ he told himself. ‘And I should be damned to hell for thinking about another man so soon after loosing Neil.’ Justin looked out his kitchen window as the milk heated up on the stove. He couldn’t believe how fast the snow had fallen! Justin quickly shut off the burner under the milk. He needed to show Brian this or the older man may not be able to leave tonight. He went as quickly as he could into the sitting room, “Brian you need to…” he stopped mid sentence when he saw that the man was apparently sleeping. Justin stopped in front of the brunette’s legs and gazed at him for a few minutes. He couldn’t help but feel his own dick twitch, recognizing his attraction to Brian. He took a deep breath and leaned forward, “Brian. Brian wake up,” he gently shook Brian’s shoulder. Brian felt someone shaking him. He moaned and grabbed onto the hands as his eyelids fluttered open, “What?” Then, he suddenly felt a very heavy weight drop down onto his body. His confused hazel eyes opened and met surprised blue eyes. Justin was startled as he fell forward into Brian’s warm lap. His stomach pressed up against Brian’s firm abs. He blinked rapidly at Brian. Once again, being this close to the man had his insides fluttering around nervously. Both men’s hearts were racing along with their quickening breaths. Their nostrils flared as each smelled the delicious aroma of the other’s natural scents and their cologne. Pale skin quivered with excitement as tanned skin rubbed against it. Brian and Justin both leaned in, their mouths puffed warm breath against one another’s lips as they got closer and closer. Their bodies pressed closer and more tighter to one another, trapping both of their joined hands between their stomachs. Brian felt a movement against his fingers and drew back away from Justin’s flushed face. “What was that?” Brian asked looking down between them and he felt it again. Justin was mortified! He quickly let go of Brian’s fingers and stood up, “We…we… almost kissed,” Justin said in a horrified tone. Brian winced at Justin’s voice. He didn’t think it would be that bad to kiss him! He quickly stood up at glared at Justin. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt so hurt to be so obviously rejected. “I meant that weird feeling by your belly,” he explained. Justin shook his head at himself. ‘I’m such an idiot.’ he thought. “Brian it was the baby,” he explained. Brian’s eyes widened, “Oh, I thought…well your stomach was just growling or something. It felt really fucking weird.” Justin couldn’t help but laugh, however he stopped when he saw how embarrassed Brian seemed to be." Brian,” he stepped closer, “haven’t you ever felt a baby move in a pregnant person‘s stomach before?” Brian shook his head no," No.. I..” he trailed off not really having much to say. Melanie and Lindsay always asked everyone else to feel their bellies when they were pregnant. He didn’t understand why they didn’t ask him. But it never really had bothered him so much until Justin asked him that question. “I’m going to pass on that cocoa,” Brian said standing up. “I think I should get going,” Brian walked past Justin and started to walk into the hall. Justin followed him quickly. He felt bad that he’d obviously said something that had really upset Brian. ‘Oh shit!’ He thought as remembered what’d gone to tell Brian about," Brian wait..” Brian turned around, feeling extremely angry at the blonde. Justin kept making him feel things. Weird things, and he didn’t mean the baby moving. He was so confused and he didn’t like people that confused him, “Can you just get me my coat please? And directions," he growled. Justin flinched at the angry look and loud voice Brian directed at him. He quickly moved over to the closet in the hall and retrieved Brian’s leather coat, “Here,” he said, feeling rather stressed and emotional as he handed it over to the older man. Brian saw the tears forming in Justin’s eyes and he felt bad. Once again his heart hurt for the blond. This was even more confirmation as to why he needed to leave and get the hell out of the boy’s house. Immediately. He turned from the teary eyes and struggled with the locks on the door, "So what way do I go?" Justin went beside the fumbling man and unlocked the latches for Brian. He opened them and then grabbed the handle and swung open the door. Cold assaulted their warmth as he did so. “Holy Shit!” Brian and Justin said in unison. TBC