My Only Critic

Brian awoke the next morning and immediately started to shake.  He didn't feel Justin's arms around him and it scared this shit out of him.  His breathing became ragged and he squeezed his eyes shut.  'Oh god, Oh god' His mind screamed.  'Please let him still be here.  Please!'  

"Brian?  Are you awake sleepyhead?"  At the sound of Justin's voice Brian was able to immediately breathe easy once again.  His eyes snapped open to meet two blue eyes staring at him with concern.

Justin ran his hand through Brian's hair.  "Are you alright Brian?"

Brian attempted to sit up but Justin had moved into a straddling position upon him.  "Yes, yes, I... I just, I thought that you had left.  

Justin frowned.  "I'd never do that Brian."  He whispered and leaned down to kiss Brian.

Brian turned his head to the side.  "My breath, it probably stinks Justin."  He mumbled and carefully pushed the boy off of him.  He swung his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed for his robe and slippers.  He couldn't find his slippers.  He looked around and then realized that Justin was wearing both.

His head started aching.  Shit!  His whole body ached.

Justin let out a sigh.  "I like the smell of your breath.  The way you taste."  Justin ran his hands up and down Brian's naked back.  His hands caressed the sore muscles of Brian's shoulders and then went further down to the small of Brian's back. 

"Justin, I, I really need to take a shower."  Brian protested and tried to get up. He also tried not to think about Justin wearing his things and he really, really tried not to think about how Justin had upset his detailed daily routine.

"I like the way your skin smells after we make love, it's making me so hard."  Justin whispered into Brian's ear.  He immediately felt the older man relax into his touch and started to rub his shoulders again.  On ever other pass or so Brian would sigh and relax further into his caress.

Brian wanted to stay in bed with Justin forever, but no matter the coaxing, he knew that he had to shower.  Justin's hands felt wonderful on his sore body, but he was craving hot water right now.  It was an addiction as strong as it would be if it were a drug.  His skin was feeling like it was crawling with bugs.  "Stop!"  He shouted and bolted up right.  He needed the hot water to tear away his filth. He didn't care if the smell turned Justin on, it was disgusting.

Justin jumped and watched as Brian ran naked through the house and into the bathroom.  Tears brimmed in his eyes as he heard the sound of the water in the shower start.  He wasn't sure what to do.  He was debating this when the phone began to ring.

He looked at the phone next to the bed and saw that the caller ID read, Cynthia Prescott.  He picked it up hoping that he could talk to her and find out where he went wrong.

"Hello?"  He answered.

"Justin?"  Cynthia said, her voice shocked and pleased.

"Yes, it's Justin."  His voice cracked and he felt a few tears roll down his cheek.

"Is something wrong?  Is it Brian?"  Cynthia asked.  She could hear the fear in Justin’s voice.

Justin took a deep breath.  "I don't know Cynthia.  I'm sorry for calling you but Brian he..."  Justin trailed off.  He wasn't sure what exactly to tell Brian's friend.  

"Tell me what happened Justin?  Brian's my best friend, he tells me everything."  Cynthia encouraged.

"Last night was wonderful, we talked and we, we, we made love.  But this morning when he woke up...." Justin lost it and started to cry.

"Justin, Justin, are you there?”  Cynthia asked.

Justin wiped the tears from his eyes and cleared his throat.  "Yes, I'm here.  I'm sorry.  I'm just so worried about him.  I don't know what I did wrong?"  Justin said trying not to cry again.  He'd been so hopeful about his and Brian's relationship this morning.

Cynthia gasped.  "Justin!  You and Brian had sex?"  

"It was more than that Cynthia."  Justin confessed.

"I'm sure it was."  She said.  "Brian hadn't ever been with anyone, so I'm sure you can imagine how much he trusted you.  He's probably just feeling really scared now, it isn't everyday that you loose your virginity, and for Brian, having someone simply touch him can sometimes be dramatic."

"But it was my first time too."  Justin confessed.  "I feel so fucking alone."  Justin said.  "I may have not given him exactly what he gave me, but it was my first time making love.  I had dreamed about making love with him for years Cynthia.  I don't want to loose him now that we have.  Now that we have found one another."  Justin could hear the water shut off in the bathroom.

"Then don't let his insecurities push you away.  He's scared."  Cynthia said but changed her tone to a quieter one.  "But I'm pretty sure he loves you and I think you love him.  Don't let anything change that."

"I won't and thanks.  I better go; I heard the water shut off.  I think we need to do some talking."  

"Oh, wait, Justin, the reason I called was because Gardener wants Brian back!  He told me to call and tell him that he wants to meet with him at Brian's convenience."

"How did that happen?"  Justin asked happily.

"Let's just say that I casually mentioned that Brian was dating you and would do the one on one himself after he gets back from his break."

"Well that's great Cynthia!"  Justin said.  "I'm sure he shouldn't have any problem doing the interview now."

"No."  Cynthia laughed.  "I would hope not.  Just tell Brian to call me after you guys work out what happened this morning."

"Thanks Cynthia, I'll tell him."

"Good luck Justin."  Cynthia said before hanging up.

Justin was just replacing the phone when he saw Brian sheepishly pad his way back into the bedroom.  "Who, who was on the phone?"  He asked him.  

Justin was deaf to Brian's words once he caught a glimpse of the man, still dripping wet and wearing only a towel around his small waist.  Justin felt his cock stiffen underneath Brian's robe.  "Huh?"  He asked realizing that Brian's mouth had moved.

Brian crossed the room and sat beside Justin on the bed.  "Who were you talking too?"

"Oh!  Oh, sorry, that was Cynthia she wanted me to tell you that you have your job back."  Justin blushed.  She wants you to call her later.  But we really need to talk first."

Brian gave a small smile.  "Okay."  

"I want to know why you ran to the bathroom earlier.  I want to know what I did wrong."  Justin said softly.

Brian ran his fingers through his wet strands of hair and shook his head.  "Justin."  He stood up from the bed and started to pace.  "I freaked out."

"Because we made love?"  Justin asked with a lump in his throat.

"No!"  Brian said quickly.  "Because, because...."  Brian couldn't explain it any other way than to just tell Justin the truth.  He honestly loved the blond and he never wanted to lie to him.  Not about his disorder or about anything else.  Tears started to form in his eyes and he started to shake inside.

Justin stood up and attentively put his hand on Brian's bare shoulder.  "It's okay Brian.  Whatever it is, it's not going to make me run away.  Just tell me the truth and we'll deal with it together.

Brian lightly shook Justin's hand away and turned his back before speaking.  "When I woke up, I thought you weren't here.  I thought that you had left."  Brian said.

"But I didn't I was here." Justin said.  "Brian I…”

Brian turned back around abruptly.  "You were wearing my things Justin."  Brian said interrupting.

Justin stared at him wide-eyed with shock.  He started to take the robe and slippers off but Brian stopped him by putting his hands on his shoulders.

"I.....I...shit Justin.  I just have things I need to do.  A routine."  He said more softly looking into Justin's blue eyes, hoping that the younger man would understand.

Justin nodded.  "And I'm not part of that routine Brian."  He said sadly.  "And I don't think I ever will be."

Brian shook his head and sat back down motioning for Justin to join him.  When the boy sat stiffly beside him he grabbed his hand and squeezed gently.  "For years I have gotten up and did the exact same thing every fucking day."

Justin had a few tears falling.  "And you think I'm going to get in the way?"

"No Justin."  Brian said.  "If anyone gets in anyone's way I'm sure it will be me with all of my odd behaviour.  I don't want you to have to deal with any of it.  It's not fair for you."

Justin moved closer and brushed a thumb to wipe away one of Brian's stray tears.  "Brian can I ask you something?"  

"Anything."  The brunette quickly responded.

"If I was in a car accident and was stuck in a wheelchair, would you leave me?"  Justin asked.

Brian huffed.  "Of course not."

"But it wouldn't be fair to you.  I would need special treatment; you might have to even rearrange the way you did things because I had to do them differently."  Justin said.

"But that's different Justin.  That would be something you couldn't have possibly helped."  Brian said.

"Like you Brian?"  Justin said and kissed his lovers cheek.  "You can't help what your parents did to you.  You can't help that you have OCD.  And it isn't fair, but it isn't fair for you.  I wouldn't change you Brian.  You are the man that has written words about me that made me want to achieve.  Not my family or friends, none of them have ever encouraged me the way you have.  And I want to do the same for you."

"Justin..."  Brian tried to protest but he really didn't have anything to say to that.

"Unless you don't want to be with me, which would hurt me so much after last night."  Justin brought Brian into his arms.  "If you don't want me then I will go, otherwise you are stuck with me, so you'll just have to bring me up to date on what you need and I'll tell you what I need.  Then maybe together we can make a compromise.  I won't know things that upset you unless you tell me.  You can't take a shower and wash every thing away all the time Brian."  Justin was now openly crying against Brian's chest.  "Now that you have me, and I have you, we can face everything head on ok?"

Brian wrapped his arms tightly around Justin's little body.  "Okay." He said softly and moved to pull Justin's face up to his for a kiss. "I'm sorry."  

Justin looked up and wiped at his tears.  "It's okay, just talk to me.  You really scared me.  I thought you didn't want me."  He whispered.

Brian shook his head and smiled.  Justin was so beautiful.  He felt his cock stir and start to harden.  "I want you Justin."  Brian said in a husky tone.  "Only, this time, can I take you?"  Brian's hands started to unfasten the knot in Justin's robe as he watched the blond head nod in affirmation.

When Justin was completely naked Brian laid the blond back onto the bed.  He threw his towel across the room making them both laugh.  "Very risky Brian."  Justin said through kisses when Brian pounced upon his body making them both bounce.

"You didn’t' even notice that I dripped all over my floors.  Not thinking about that was a feat in itself."  Brian said with a laugh before driving his tongue into the depths of Justin's mouth.

They kissed and groped for awhile.  Giving time to build up the passion that coursed through their bodies like fire.  They were blind to anything outside of themselves.  

Brian's fingers probed Justin's virgin hole with lube gently while Justin sucked Brian's hard member like a pro.  Their moans only served to tingle underneath each others skin.

Justin felt the pain as he was stretched with Brian's fingers but he also felt the pleasure of his lover's arousal at performing the act right in his mouth.  Brian's cock leaked pre-cum heartily into his throat while his fingers probed his pucker expertly.

Suddenly Brian pulled his dick from Justin's mouth and turned around to kiss Justin.  His fingers still spreading the pulsing hole.  "You want me inside you?"  He breathed while moving his three fingers inside the warm passage.

Justin ground down on Brian's hand and breathed against his face. He was so close to cumming as it was, the thought of Brian's long thickness inside him, overfilling him, was almost his undoing.  "Yes, please."  He moaned and started to bite at Brian's neck.

Brian rutted against Justin and then started to kiss him again.  His tongue pushed his spit into the boy's mouth, making Justin savour the mint sweet taste and in return savouring the taste of his dick juice in Justin's mouth.

Justin's legs wrapped around Brian's waist and both men were too eager and too wanton to notice the lack of protection as Brian's spit slicked shaft entered between his fingers, the fingers that were spreading the lips of Justin's ass to make for easier entrance.

"Ahhhhh!!!  Fuck!!!"  Justin screamed in pain and pure abandonment as Brian did this.  But fuck was it good.  His head thrashed back and forth until he came down from the rush and felt Brian kissing and sucking on his nipple.  

He looked down and could tell that only half of Brian's penis was inside! Shit he already felt so full!!!  But he wanted more.  "Come on Brian.  I'm ready, slide it in me."

Brian looked up at him.  He'd started to obsess over the pink hard nub and had been sucking and biting in it while he waited for Justin to adjust to his girth.  But now, now Justin wanted it.  So he leaned up and kissed him gently on the cheek before rising back on his forearms and pushing his pelvis until it was flush with Justin's ass.  

The tightness and heat made Brian scream out.  He'd never felt so fucking good!  He looked down and saw that Justin was squeezing his eyes tight and licking his poutty lips with his pink tongue.  The sights were about to be a visible overload going straight to his pulsing dick.

Justin opened his eyes and saw Brian watching him.  He was in pain, but he knew it would pass; his dick had yet to deflate.  "Fuck me Brian."  He moaned out and started to grind his ass into Brian's cock, feeling the curly brown pubes scrape against his soft cheeks.  God was that a turn on.  It made his cock full mast.

"You're so beautiful Justin."  Brian said and bent his torso to kiss him as his ass raised and pulled out of the hot hole before slamming back in again.

It seemed like hours that the couple kissed and grinded their bodies tightly together.  They were both drenched in sweat when for the fifth time Justin begged for Brian to let him cum and he did.  His screams he was sure could be heard in the condo next door, but neither cared.  

They both saw stars and the fucking ocean and had the out of body experience.  But it was more than that.  It was like they were in one another's bodies, in their brains.  Brian felt every ounce of pleasure he gave Justin and vice versa.  They were reaching the peak completely together.

Brian pounded into the clenching orgasmic chute powerfully as he gave into his own moans and screams, his arms collapsed and he pulled Justin tighter against him as their bodies rocked and instinctively until Justin’s cum lubed their slapping torsos and Brian's cum went shooting hard, splashing warm seed deep inside Justin's orifice.

Panting heavily into exhaustion, both men fell asleep.  Their bodies still atwitter with the aftershocks of their orgasms.