Note:
lucel, the editor of this story, is the best! The pleasure I get, when she has edited a story and turned it into beautiful English; I cannot begin to describe how good that feels. Thank you, lucel!
Anniversary
Somewhere, sometime
The man giving the presentation was definitely hot. He was also giving his interested listener the eye. Gay, the man had to be gay. It seemed that the man guessed that the listener was gay, too. It wasn’t a secret, but the listener didn’t shout it from rooftops, either, at least he didn’t think he did. The listener didn’t mind, though, since the man was one of the most handsome men he had ever seen. He was tall, lean, graceful, and charismatic. His dark suit was perfectly cut, fitting the man as only a suit tailored by a master could. Of course, with a body like his it was easy to reach that look of careless elegance. The listener let his eyes rest on the handsome face: strong features, beautiful complexion, hazel eyes, and wickedly curled lips. A very handsome face. The listener smiled.
As if the man’s beauty was not enough, he had also given an excellent presentation. The listener was fascinated with the ideas the man had shown them; they were original and bold. It would be a pleasure to work with a man like that. And why not do something more intimate, too, if a possibility presented itself? The looks he got were very promising in that regard.
The presentation was coming to an end, and the man was gathering his things just the couple of steps away. The listener decided that he would lose nothing by asking…
“Excuse me! Could I have a minute of your time?” The listener was almost breathless, he was so excited.
“I can spare you a minute, yes, but I’m in a hurry to catch my plane. What can I do for you?”
“You said you‘ll be back in New York again in two weeks. I was wandering if I could meet you then. I’ve got an idea that might interest you.”
“An idea that would interest me? Usually, I’m the one that comes up with ideas.” The grin that accompanied the words made it clear that the man was thinking about more than ideas coming up….
“I believe that my idea will help your ideas rise up to flow even easier.” The listener’s grin rivaled the one playing on the other man’s lips.
“I might have some interest in your idea. I could meet you on the 14th of September, I’ll be back by then. Is that okay with you?” The man chuckled.
“The 14th? That’s quite… Yes, I guess it’s okay.”
“The minute is over, and I have to go now, but here: my card. Call me, and we’ll set the details for our little meeting.”
“I will. Thanks!” The listener stood there watching the receding back of the sexy man, grinning from ear to ear. Then he noticed something.
“Wait!” he cried out, but it was too late: the door had already swallowed the man. The man that hadn’t even asked the listener’s name…
In Pittsburgh, the 25th of August, the loft
Justin leaned against the wall of the upwards struggling elevator. It was very late, and he was exhausted. He wished that Brian were waiting for him, but he wasn’t coming home from his business trip to New York until the next day. No hope of his expert massage that night. Maybe he could relax his aching back, shoulders, and neck in a hot shower, maybe that would be enough to give him a good night’s sleep.
Justin opened the heavy metal door to the loft and faced the darkness inside. His lonely steps echoed in the cold silence of the mostly empty space. He shivered and thought about his partner: all those years that Brian had lived in the loft alone, was this the feeling he had coming home from work? Justin’s heart ached. Brian was such a lonely man. He was a private person; even now, when Justin was living with him, he kept a part of himself to himself. They were partners, but that didn’t mean that they shared everything. They shared a lot, but not everything. Justin hoped that Brian would open up, that he would trust Justin completely, but it didn’t seem likely that it would happen in near future, if ever.
Suddenly feeling oppressed, Justin turned on all the lights and put on some music just to chase away the desolation of the place. He turned on the coffee machine, too: he needed the hot drink to get back the warmth that the cool evening breeze had sucked out of his body as he waited for the bus home. It was barely September, not even Fall yet, and the weather would turn much colder before it warmed up again. Justin grimaced, he was not a winter person. At least, he wasn’t at the very end of the Summer.
He undressed feeling the temptation to fall in bed right away, but he resisted that urge. From experience, he knew that he would regret such a weakness in the morning when he woke up with all the filth of the previous day in the smelly sheets. Not to mention the smell of himself. Not the bedfellow he enjoyed having in his bed. Brian’s bed. Their bed. Whose-ever-bed.
The big shower stall was almost too big for Justin’s slender frame, but he didn’t think about something so trivial. As the magic of the little hot water needles drummed his shoulders and back, he felt his aches disappearing down the drain with the dirty water. Justin lowered the water pressure and just enjoyed the feeling of warmth, cleanliness, and comfort. He almost could feel Brian’s arms around him. Almost.
Brian. They had been partners for months now. Almost a year, actually. Who would have thought it possible? Justin smiled slightly as he remembered the idea he had come up with for their anniversary. He knew that Brian wouldn’t care to celebrate the anniversary. Justin chuckled as he imagined Brian’s response to such a suggestion: “I don’t do anniversaries.” There was so much that Brian didn’t do. Like repeats, boyfriends, relationships, partners. Justin’s famous smile reflected in the dark tiles of the wall. He was pretty sure Brian would do anniversaries. With the right incentive Brian would certainly do anniversaries. But it was time to leave his warm sanctuary: the water was turning cold.
With only a towel wrapped around his hips, Justin shivered in the cool air of the loft. His coffee was ready, and he found some cookies to increase his late night pleasure. Justin took his treasures to the bedroom and set them on the bed side table. When cat’s not home… Justin smiled as he conjured up the image of his disapproving partner. Then he
locked up for the night. When he turned off the living room lights, the bedroom was transformed into an oasis of light surrounded by the darkness. A very welcoming oasis.
Justin’s tired legs welcomed the moment he fell on the bed and experienced the pleasure of the first few seconds on clean sheets, his weight supported completely by the bed, his muscles in rest. There were not many things that would please him more… Just Brian beside him… this bed would see some action if Brian was home. He was not that tired. Never that tired. Justin stretched against the cool sheets; the smooth satiny cotton kissing his skin. Brian’s kisses were hotter, but there was pleasure in this touch, too.
Justin drank his coffee, ate his cookies, and fell asleep the bedroom lights still on.
Elsewhere, the 26th of August
“Yes?” Clearly the name that the man had just heard a caller give meant nothing to him.
“We met briefly yesterday, it was after your PitBull-presentation. You gave me your card and told me to call you. You said you might be interested in my idea. We were to set the details for the meeting on the 14th of September.”
“Oh, yes, I remember. Let me check my schedule… we could meet at 2 p.m., how is that for you?”
“Just fine. Where will I find you?”
“I’ll be visiting the Acumus Hotel until 2 p.m., why don’t you come there; I might be a little late. We could meet in the bar and go on from there.”
“Fine. I’ll look forward to seeing you.”
“Likewise. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Pittsburgh, the 26th of August, Kinnetic
“Cynthia!”
The yelling from the inner sanctum of Kinnetic told Cynthia that her time of peace was over until the next time her boss would be out of town. Well, it would be less than an hour until she could call it a day, so she should survive. She just couldn’t begin to fathom what had the man’s pants in knots this time. She hadn’t heard from him since the same morning, just before his last meeting in New York, and back then he had sounded almost chipper. But then, she was used to his mercurial mood changes.
“Oh! Hey, boss. When did you get in there? I was away for no more than minutes.”
“Apparently I got in here during those minutes.” Cynthia was presented with the familiar sight of her boss rolling his eyes. “If it is not too much to ask I would like to inform you of the changes to my schedule for the next couple of weeks before those weeks have gone by.”
Cynthia took a deep breath and stepped into the den of the irascible lion.
“How did it go yesterday, Brian? Did you get the CiriaBino account?”
“Yes, yes. I got the account. We’ll deal with the details later.”
“Good job, boss. And how was your flight?”
“Fine, it was just fine. Enough of pleasantries already. I just came in to clear up my schedule, so lets get started.”
Apparently Brian was in a hurry to get home, although he didn’t want to admit it. Cynthia thought she had a good hunch about his reasons. Or one blond reason to put it more precisely. Cynthia grinned to herself as she took the notes.
“And I’ll be in New York the 13th and 14th of September. I’ll have a meeting with the Acumus people at noon the 14th so I’ll be back in the office again in the following morning.”
“Good. I’ll make the reservations.”
“Oh, I’ll be staying at the Acumus Hotel. They want me to get the feeling of their place.”
“Okay, boss. Now, get your ass out of here, so I can get my work done.” Cynthia sent her boss home with a grin.
Pittsburgh, the 27th of August, Kinnetic
“Hi, Cynthia! How are you this fine day?”
Justin breezed in Cynthia’s room bringing with him the brightness of the day. Cynthia couldn’t help smiling at the man who seemed unable to contain his good mood.
“I’m fine, thanks for asking. You, on the other hand; with a smile like that… there is no need to ask if you’re feeling good. And I think I just might guess the reason for that.” Cynthia teased her blushing young friend.
“I guess you might. I can’t hide my feelings for him, how he makes me feel, I never could.” Suddenly, with a shy smile on his lips, Justin looked even younger than he was and even more adorable than usual.
“He isn’t here at the moment, I’m afraid. He went to lunch early today. You could try to call his cell, you missed him only by a couple of minutes.”
“I know. I saw him leave.” Justin’s cheeks flushed to even deeper color as Cynthia raised her brow. “I waited for him to leave before coming in. I wanted to ask you something without him finding out.”
“Okay. What is it, Justin?”
“Do you already know his schedule for the 14th of the next month?” Justin seemed to be sending messages upwards behind his shy smile. Cynthia didn’t see his hands, he had put them in his pockets, but she wouldn’t have been surprised if she had found him keeping his fingers crossed.
“Yes, I have his appointments up until that time. Let me check… Sorry, Justin. He will be out of town.” Cynthia felt her heart ache as he saw Justin’s bright smile dim.
“Oh… where will he be going?”
“New York.”
“Really!” Justin’s smile brightened again. “That’s okay. I can work around that. At what time will his meetings be?”
“He’ll have just one, at noon; he will meet the representatives of the Acumus Hotel. He’ll also stay at their hotel, and I booked him on the 4.15 PM flight back to Pitts.”
Justin seemed to be making adjustments to his plans. He bit his lips, and his brows knitted into a curious twist. Cynthia could barely keep her smile inside.
“Cynthia, could you change that for me, please? I mean, does he have appointments at the 15th, here in Pitts?”
“So far, no, he hasn’t. I could keep it like that, if that’s what you would like?”
“Yes, that would be good. Change his reservation in the hotel to last for one more night, will you? And if you would move his return flight to the 15th as well? And it’s supposed to be a surprise, so don’t tell Brian, please!”
“Okay, Justin, I’ll do that. But why? If you don’t mind my asking.”
“It’ll be our first anniversary; we’ve been partners for all of a year.” Justin beamed.
“That explains why Brian didn’t make more appointments for that afternoon. He wanted to come home to you.”
“Cynthia, it’s Brian we are talking about.” Justin’s voice was dry.
“Sorry, I got carried away. So it’s up to you: if you want to celebrate your anniversary you have to take care of the planning yourself? Poor baby!”
“Not you, too, Cynthia! Why everybody takes it for granted that Brian has to organize our anniversary? I’m in that relationship, too, for God’s sake! Why I shouldn’t make it a day to remember for him, instead?” Justin was pissed. Slightly, but pissed anyway.
“Forgive me! I guess I see your relationship through the straight expectations…”
“Exactly! People always make me into a woman in our relationship. I’m so tired of it! I’m not a woman!”
“Calm down! Of course you’re not a woman. I’m sorry. It’s just an ingrained attitude I need to unlearn.” Cynthia felt something shift inside. Something that had been a part of her for a long time had unraveled. “Actually, I should unlearn that attitude attached to straight relationships, too,” she said in a spell of a sudden insight. “Why should it be a duty of a man to organize that kind of things? You’re right, Justin. There is no reason for that kind of attitude, not one valid reason!”
While Cynthia and Justin finished their discussion about Brian’s hotel and flight bookings Cynthia kept wondering about the attitude change she had experienced so unexpectedly. She had thought that she had long since dropped those kinds of mindless attitudes – working with Brian had opened her eyes in so many fronts – but, apparently, there still were things to learn and unlearn.
Pittsburgh, the 27th of August, the loft
Justin listened to the labored breathing of his partner; he was sure his own breathing was just as labored. Nothing new about that. Such a breathing problem was the normal result of their nocturnal activities. Many times a night. Justin smiled.
“Brian.”
“Uhmm.”
“Brian?”
“Yeah?”
“You know, our anniversary is very soon.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Our anniversary. We’ve been partners for a year.”
“So?”
“It’s our anniversary!”
“So?”
“We should celebrate.”
“Celebrate. Why?”
“It’s our anniversary, Brian!”
“I don’t do anniversaries.”
“Of course not! How could I have forgotten!”
Justin sharply turned his back to his lover, but if Brian had seen Justin’s face he would have seen a small smile on his partner’s lips. Justin had known what would be Brian’s reaction. He knew also what would happen next.
“Justin?”
“Justin?”
“Justin! Quit being a brat! When is that fucking anniversary, anyway?”
“On the 14th.”
“The 14th? I’ll be out of the town until the evening, but I guess we could spend the night together, just the two of us. How ‘bout that?”
“I guess.” Justin still had his back turned to his lover, so Brian couldn’t see the satisfied smile on his expressive face. Brian’s reaction was exactly what Justin had predicted it to be.
Pittsburgh, the 7th of September, the loft
Justin stood in front of Brian’s closet trying to decide what to pack for Brian to wear on the evening of their anniversary. He smiled as he remembered the phone calls he had made to make the reservation for their dinner. He had asked about the decore of the places he had phoned. He had wanted to find a perfect place. Considering the fact that it was to be a perfect place for Brian he had been forced to seek for a place that wasn’t romantic. Something classy, that would be much better choice for his demanding lover.
Justin had found a promising place. They would dine high above the city of New York, able to enjoy the lights of the never sleeping business town. The restaurant was a small one, very old, and very loyal to its sophisticated traditions. The food was rumored to be excellent. There would be no music to render the atmosphere ridiculously romantic, no loud dinner parties to disturb them, no vulgar dressing of patrons. Exactly the kind of place to take Brian. Brian Kinney would do a date that evening, and he would enjoy it; Justin had no doubt.
So he would pack Brian’s beautiful dark charcoal Armani suit. He would look magnificent in it. And that deep moss green silk shirt would bring out the green in his eyes just perfectly. Justin licked his lips as he imagined how his lover would look at their anniversary dinner.
But the rest of the evening? There would be time for clubbing after their dinner. If Brian wanted to go to some club Justin wouldn’t have anything against it. Certainly Brian wouldn’t trick on their anniversary. Certainly.
Brian looks fabulous in black, Justin thought as he stroked the black silk of Brian’s sleeveless shirt and eyed his lover’s black jeans.
Pittsburgh, the 14th of September, the loft
“Brian?”
“Are you still asleep? With your SAT score I would have thought that to read a caller ID would be easy for you.”
“Yeah, definitely Brian. Nobody else would wake me up with an insult call at this hour.”
“Twat.”
“Asshole.”
“Good morning to you, too.”
“And now he is being so polite. Too late, man. Years too late.”
“Why are you still in bed? Don’t you have an early morning course on Tuesdays?”
“The course was cancelled today; some business came up, I heard.”
“Well, that should mean that I’ll find a well rested partner when I come home in the evening.”
“I knew you would see an advantage for yourself in it.”
“I can think about some advantages for you as well.”
“Undoubtedly. Brian? You haven’t changed your travel plans, then? That’s not why you’re calling?”
“No, I’ll be there tonight. You won’t be able to reach me later today, so I thought to call now and confirm that.”
“I’ll meet you in the evening, then.”
“Be in the loft at 9 PM, I should be home around then. I have to go now. Later.”
“Later.”
Justin smiled at the uninterested ceiling as he stretched the kinks out of his back. His eyes took in the suitcases beside the wall, and his smile became even wider. Much nicer to wake up to Brian’s call, than to the alarm clock. His flight to New York would take off in just two hours, so, actually, he would have to get up in any case.
New York, the 14th of September, Acumus Hotel
Brian waited for an elevator to take him downstairs. He was satisfied. Just a few minutes earlier, he had concluded a business meeting with the Acumus people, and the account was Kinnetic’s. Brian smiled at the people getting out of the elevator at his floor and stepped in. He had just enough time to deal with his most urgent needs before he had to leave to get to the airport in time for his flight. His lunch company was supposed to find him in the bar of the hotel.
The bar was a small and intimate one. Brian had stopped for a drink there the previous evening, and he had found the atmosphere very pleasing. Actually the hotel in its entirety had those same qualities, small and intimate. Just the kind of place his romantic partner would enjoy visiting. Maybe he could some day bring Justin here for a weekend. Brian smiled as he stepped into the bar.
First thing he saw was a delicious bubble butt attached to a blond man walking to a table across from the bar. Brian was dumbfounded as he understood that he was staring at the rear end of his own partner. Justin here! Then it dawned on him that Justin was joining a man already sitting at the table. A hot man. And a man he recognized. Damn!
Brian followed Justin to the table.
“Hey, Sunshine.” He drawled.
Justin swirled around a big grin spreading on his face.
“Brian! Hey!”
“What are you doing here, Justin?”
“I thought I would surprise you. Did I succeed?”
“You sure did.” Brian shifted his eyes towards the other man raising one eyebrow. “Won’t you introduce me to your friend?”
“Mr. Cauhtana. May I introduce my partner, Brian Kinney. Brian. This is Ico Cauhtana, the designer of the IC-Collection and the owner of IC-Creations.”
“Mr. Kinney. Nice to meet you.” The man had an accent Brian couldn’t place.
“Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Cauhtana. Please call me Brian. Let me congratulate you for your success with the IC-Collection. Competition is fierce in that area.
“Thank you, Brian. And I’m Ico. Yes, I have been very lucky with my creations.”
“You didn’t need luck, Ico. Your creations are something unique and very good. How did you meet Ico, Justin?”
“ A couple of weeks ago he gave a presentation at PIFA on clothing design and on his collection in particular. I introduced myself to him then, sort of.”
“Your partner has made a suggestion that I every minute now find more and more tempting.” Mr. Cauhtana’s eyes traveled up and down Brian’s body in evident appreciation.
“What are you up to, Justin?”
“I know how much you like his clothes, Brian, you have said so many times. In his presentation, Ico told us that the inspiration for his designs comes from people: he likes to think about some interesting person while he creates. It was apparent to me that ‘interesting’ actually meant ‘sexy,’ even though he didn’t say so.” Justin directed a teasing grin towards Ico, who burst out laughing. “So I thought that he needed to meet the sexiest man in the world.” Justin’s grin transformed itself into a triumphant smile.
“Brat!” Brian chuckled.
“I have to admit to your partner’s assessment about my need to meet you, Brian. You definitely are an interesting person.” Ico grinned, and, with some assistance from a stray ray of light, Brian, to his surprise, noticed that the man had hazel eyes, like his own. “Brian, Justin suggested that I should create an outfit with you as the inspiration. When he first made that suggestion I doubted his judgement, but not anymore. I would love to do just that, if you have nothing against the idea. What do you think?”
“Tell me more. You are not suggesting that you would create something just because Justin asks you to – What’s the deal?”
“You would be the inspiration, but the outfit would be available to all my clients.”
“Available to me as well, I hope. At what price? Would your muse get a discount?”
“Justin, you didn’t tell me your partner would drive such a hard bargain.” Ico cast a glance of mock reprimand at Justin.
“Ico, if you could bargain your talent for Brian’s, you would do much better than you would trying to get money.”
“Justin! Giving hints to my adversary. Some partner you are.”
“Interesting. What is your talent, Brian?”
“My talent is to sell. If I designed a campaign to sell the design inspired by me, you would sell more of the outfits than you can imagine.” Brian’s winning grin blossomed as he understood the devious plan Justin had cooked up. Some partner indeed.
“He seems pretty sure of himself, Justin. Is there substance there, or is he just a bag of hot air? Hot package, though, he is; there can be no gainsaying that.”
“You might want to ask the name of his business, Ico,” Justin suggested demurely.
“He’s a business man, too. How come, I’m not surprised? I’ll take your advice, Justin. What is the name of your business?”
“Kinnetic.”
“Damn. Justin. You’re a devil. Did you know that, Brian? You’re partner is a devil.”
“I’m well aware of that, Ico.” Brian’s eyes gleamed. “What have you done to the poor man, Justin? He seems to have been hit by some deviousness of yours.”
“Why, he just told us in his presentation that the IC-Collection would need a new add agency soon, and that he had been thinking that Kinnetic might be a good choice. He said that campaigns designed by Kinnetic had qualities he appreciates.”
“Ico, what should we do to the little twat? He has succeeded in playing us both.”
“I think you might be best qualified to mete out the punishment your partner deserves. Good luck, with that! But, in addition to your expert discipline, I think that actually going on with his devious plan will teach him how dangerous it is to parade his sexy partner in front of people like that.”
Justin’s smile wavered as he heard that.
“Sounds promising, Ico. Go on. What do you have in mind?”
“ I’m willing to see what Kinnetic can offer, but that’s not all. I’ve been thinking about launching a line for business men. As it is, the IC-Collection meets the needs of a man looking for casual clothing. However, the men that buy my clothes have led me to believe that they would be interested in dressing in ICs also for business. Until now I’ve had no person in mind to give life to my idea, but you changed that. You personify my vision, Brian. I hope to get to know you; I would like to make the whole line of business clothes for you, Brian. I would need to know your needs in detail. You see, Justin could only blame himself for the long hours I would get to spend with you.” Ico turned to Justin and continued: “Just Brian and me, intimate groping in the form of measuring and fitting, things like that. What would you think about that, Justin?”
Justin opened his mouth, but no words game out. Brian chuckled at his expression.
“I like your idea, Ico, and I’m flattered. As you see, Sunshine, you’re not the only man I inspire. Ico, would it be just you that would know about my involvement, or…?”
“I thought about going public with it, would that be acceptable for you?”
“What kind of publicity are you thinking of?”
“Your name, your reputation would give credulity to the new line of clothing. I would like it if the line was linked with you, maybe your business, too, in the minds of people.”
“That would give free exposure to my business, too. Not bad. Yes, I’m interested. Let’s see. You’ll give me a pitch about your ideas, and I’ll give you one about mine. I’ve never done that before with a potential client.” The gleam in Brian’s eyes had become even brighter. “Okay?”
“Deal!”
Justin looked from one hazel eyed man to the other. He wasn’t sure if he had just helped to create a monster, but it seemed that the two had hit it off from the first moment. And all he had wanted to do was just to get Brian an outfit from the man whose designs he admired.
“Here you are, Brian. I see you’ve found Justin, or was it Justin that found you? Hello, again, Justin. And it’s a pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Cauhtana. I hope your meeting with my assistant went well.”
“Likewise. And the meeting went very well, thank you, Mr. Parnes.”
Brian had turned around when he heard someone addressing him, and had found the manager of the Acumus Hotel behind him. To find the man there didn’t surprise Brian – the man had advised him to wait in the bar while he took care of something – but how did the man know Justin? He turned back to his partner and cocked an eyebrow.
“I asked Mr. Parnes’ help in orchestrating this little meeting between you and Ico.”
“So even you have fallen for my partner’s wiles, Mr. Parnes?”
“He is very persistent.
“That has been said about him by other people as well.”
“But now, would you please join me at lunch. You’re invited too, of course, Justin and Mr. Cauhtana.”
New York, the 14th September, the hotel room
Justin was very satisfied with his punishment. Brian’s execution of it had been every bit as expertly accomplished as Ico had earlier supposed.
The partners had had lunch with Ico and Mr. Parnes, and they had gone afterwards to Brian’s room to rest. Justin had told Brian about the changes to his itinerary and accommodations. He had also revealed the plans he had made for their evening in New York. Brian had smirked at him, but he had agreed to Justin’s plans with minimum of resistance. He had even accepted Justin’s choices for his clothing for the night. Apparently Brian Kinney had nothing against anniversaries as long as he didn’t need to organize them. Justin congratulated himself.
“Justin?”
“Mmmm.”
“You’re not asleep, are you?”
“Not really.”
“Tell me something. Why it is so important to you to celebrate today? What anniversary are we having?”
“It was this day a year ago when you first called me your partner, Brian. It is one of the best memories I have. I think the memory is worth a celebration.”
Brian started to say something, but at the last moment he pulled the words back and kept his silence. Justin noticed his withdrawal, and felt a little twist about his heart. Again Brian was shutting him outside.
“What were you going to say? You can say anything to me, Brian. Please, Brian, talk to me.”
Brian looked at Justin, his demeanor very serious. Then he seemed to come to a decision.
“A year ago was not the first time I called you my partner, Justin. I had done it once before.”
“Wha… when? I don’t remember…”
“No, you couldn’t remember. Justin, you didn’t hear it because you weren’t there to hear it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when we were together again?”
“We weren’t together for a long time after that, Justin, not really. I came home from Chicago triumphant. I had just been made a partner; it was one of the best days of my life, a dream come true. I wanted to celebrate my achievement with you, so I bought a bottle of Champagne on my way home. I called you my partner when I came into the loft, but you weren’t there.”
“I was in Vermont.” Justin gasped.
“Yeah, you were there. And I was in Pitts.”
Justin heard clearly the word Brian didn’t say. Alone. Brian celebrated his biggest achievement alone, because his partner hadn’t understood why Brian had to go to Chicago to save his job. Every tense muscle in Brian’s body told about the wounds he had been dealt that evening. Brian didn’t accuse Justin, he never had – he was equally to blame himself – but the hurt had not disappeared as time had gone by, the memory of his disappointment had not faded.
Justin suddenly wished that Brian had never told him how he had failed his partner. It was a selfish wish, but it had been easier to live without knowing. There was nothing he could do to ease Brian’s pain. Justin couldn’t alter the past.
Brian hadn’t let him in. He hadn’t known about Brian’s hurting. Brian hadn’t told him. Brian had shut him out.
Or, had he, really? No, it hadn’t been Justin that had been left outside. Brian had left that event outside of their relationship, until now. Brian had protected him, Justin, from the pain. Brian had protected their relationship. Justin wondered if he had misunderstood Brian’s silence at other times, too? How many more things Brian had chosen to leave outside of their relationship? Their relationship had always been a fragile thing. Maybe Brian had understood that better than Justin and had helped it along with his silence.
“No wonder you don’t want to celebrate this anniversary. I’m sorry I’ve pressured you. Let’s forget my stupid plans. We can do whatever you like. Or would you like me to go back to the Pitts?” Justin had tears in his voice; he couldn’t hide the pain he felt.
“I actually like your plans for the evening, brat. What do you say if we forget the “Brian called me partner” notion and just enjoy our evening together? And you’re right: we are having an anniversary. I guess it is an achievement after all that you haven’t left me once in a whole year.” Brian gathered his tearful partner in his arms and kissed the tears from his eyes.
“Thank you, asshole.”
“Twat. I think we should first take a short nap, then save some water together in the shower, and after that go to dinner at that restaurant where you made reservations for us.”
Justin snuggled close to his partner and let sleep take him. The grateful smile lingered on his lips throughout their nap.