THIRTY “There you are,” Anarin called out happily when he spotted Siddhir as he stepped onto the road ahead of him. Siddhir stopped and turned to face him, his fair face breaking into a warm smile. “You have been searching for me, *meldir?”* [friend] “Only over the whole of Lothlorien,” Anarin replied with a chuckle as he strolled up and embraced him. “Forgive me. I have changed living quarters since I last saw you. I reside with Haldir now, not too far from here,” Siddhir informed him. “So I was told.” “Who told you?” Siddhir inquired. “I believe his name is Tinion. He is quite the fair one too, I might add. He had these marvelously wonderful big blue eyes,” Anarin replied. Siddhir chuckled. “That is Tinion, all right. I would not mess with him if I were you, *meldir.* He could prove to be hazardous to your health in the long run.” “How so?” Anarin questioned, interested. Siddhir looked at him. “Well, I suppose it would depend on how serious you are about him and where you wanted it to go.” Anarin smiled. “Worry not, *mellon.* [friend] I am not quite ready to become involved in anything overly serious. I am more in the mood for a dalliance or two.” “Then he would work out just fine I imagine.” Anarin laughed. “You think so?” “Dalliances, as you put it- are Tinion’s specialty *and* his preference. He has told me so himself.” Anarin winked. “Then I must seek him out when he is not on duty.” Siddhir raised an eyebrow. “You surprise me, *meldir.* [friend] I had not thought you to be quite the carefree type.” “Can you walk with me? Would I be keeping you from something?” Anarin asked. “Certainly- and no, you would not. I was just going to see Lady Galadriel about personal business, but I can do so later. Is something wrong?” “No, not at all. I just thought we could go and have a bite to eat together and catch up is all. I do not get to see you as often as I would like,” Anarin answered as they started walking in the opposite direction. “As far as me being the carefree type, I really am not, but it seems to me that happiness with just one person takes so long to achieve sometimes. I am beginning to believe we should grab all that we can *while* we can in the meantime.” “I for one certainly cannot find fault with *that* reasoning,” Siddhir offered with a grin. “Tell me, where is Golradir and Melpomaen?” “Golradir I am sure is with Lord Celeborn. Melpomaen, well, I do not know. Sometimes he can be so strange and secretive. I am surprised he chose to accompany us to Lothlorien in the first place. He usually goes to the Havens when he has leave.” Siddhir frowned slightly. “I know why.” Anarin looked at him. “Although he thinks otherwise, I know he desires Haldir. He will be severely disappointed however, because I have no intention of giving him up; not for him- or anyone. At any rate, I am sure he is rather dismayed to find that Haldir is not here presently. He is probably sulking in his talan.” Anarin’s eyes grew large. “I know better than to question you, because I know well your insight- but I have firsthand news that Melpomaen rejected Haldir long ago. Why would he seek him out now? It makes no sense.” Siddhir looked squarely in Anarin’s puzzled eyes. “His thinking is unnatural, because he seeks to hurt Haldir in some way for his supposed arrogance, and it angers him that Haldir is indifferent to him now. But, deep within him *another* fire burns that he uses his anger as a veil to deny. He watches Haldir secretly whenever he gets the chance. I have seen it, and thus I have taken to watching *him.* By any means necessary.” The reached the common and seated themselves at a table adorned with several bowls of dried fruit and lembas. Each of them made a small plate and began to eat. After a time, Anarin turned to Siddhir again. “Will you confront him?” “I have no reason to, for I am not troubled. Haldir and I love each other, and we will bind together in the near future. Melpomaen is of no consequence really, but I would be foolish not to keep him within my sight at any rate,” Siddhir replied simply. “I am truly amazed by these revelations,” Anarin remarked. “I had no idea.” Siddhir shrugged. “Well, enough about me; let us speak about you and this new found freedom you have suddenly acquired a taste for.” Anarin laughed. “Very well, what would you like to know?” Siddhir looked past Anarin and saw Tinion entering the common. His eyes focused on his friend again, and he smiled. “I am afraid we will have to continue this conversation later. As you have said, one must never waste valuable time, nor an opportune moment.” he tapped Anarin on the shoulder and nodded in the direction of Tinion. Then he stood. “We shall meet again, *meldir.* [friend] Have fun.” **************************************** “Finally, we are headed home,” Fereveldir sighed, as he mounted his horse. “No one is happier than I,” Haldir remarked, waiting for his friend to ride up beside him before leading their patrol away from the village. “Men are such strange creatures, do you not think? They cannot control themselves, but they continue to drink heavily until almost all of their physical functions are impaired. I see not the sense in what they do,” Fereveldir commented. “Personally, I find them intolerable to the point of retching, but however foul, their loose lips lend us valuable information at times,” Haldir replied smugly. Fereveldir laughed aloud at the obvious distaste written clearly across his longtime friend’s fair features, as if the mere mention of the humans alone brought forth a bitter taste in his mouth that he longed to spit out at the very first opportunity. “Elbereth! You *really* loathe them, don’t you? What could *possibly* have given you reason to have such an appalling opinion of them?” Haldir stared at him as if he had been slapped. “You were there! Did you not smell that wretched odor emanating from their bodies? They probably *never* wash! Or how about the food and drink encrusted amongst all of that gruesome *hair* on their ashen faces! Not to mention that they speak in riddles rather than simply stating the obvious; which is even *more* tedious when their already crude speech becomes slurred and unfathomable because of their low tolerance for the spirits that they seem so insistent to keep ingesting. Honestly, Fereveldir. I fail to see how you cannot be offended yourself.” Fereveldir looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “I have known you for a very long time, *mellon.* [friend] This patrol’s events non-withstanding, I am aware that you have had a rather sour opinion of humans for far longer than this. I may not be a scholar, but I do not think I have to be to know that there is something else underfoot here. Something you have not shared with me- or *anyone,* perhaps. What is it, Haldir?” Haldir was silent, looking straight ahead and they rode. Fereveldir sighed. He had learned long ago to be patient. When Haldir clammed up like this, he knew he would always answer any question posed to him eventually, regardless of what it was. Sometimes he just needed the time to gather his words before he uttered them. This particular time, it took longer than usual. They were almost upon the gates of Rivendell before Haldir turned to him and spoke in a voice low enough that so only he could hear. Fereveldir started slightly at the coldness that had taken over the sparkle in his friend’s grey eyes. “When I escaped with my brothers that night… the night my parents were slaughtered… I came upon a lone man on his horse before I had quite managed to make it to the great divide. He *saw* me, Fereveldir. He saw me, naught but a child myself, struggling alone with a toddler *and* an *infant* in my arms- and he turned his back on me. He looked straight in my eyes and then he rode away, leaving me and my brothers to the mercy of fate. So speak no more to me about men, my friend. There is nothing in this life *or* the next that will *ever* change my opinion about them. Now come; Rivendell awaits.” He broke off and rode his horse to a gallop. Still stunned, Fereveldir and the rest of the patrol followed. ************************************* Siddhir nodded pleasantly to Belurion, Anyriand and Orolonn, on duty at Caras Galadon, as he ascended the many winding steps to where his Lord and Lady dwelled. He seated himself on the long and narrow divan in the receiving room and waited patiently to be called upon. Not long after, the doors opened and a smiling Galadriel appeared, bidding him to enter. He stood and followed her inside, standing quietly and waiting until she seated herself comfortably behind Lord Celeborn’s desk. “How may I help you, sentinel?” she said, her voice sweet as honey and warm as a summer’s breeze. Siddhir bowed. “My Lady, I was wondering if you might enlighten me as to when Haldir and I might possibly bind officially? He has bade me to make the arrangements, as he was the one who posed to you our desire to do so.” Galadriel nodded and smiled politely, but it was a sad smile- and one that was not unseen by Siddhir. “My Lady, is there something amiss? For if it is not convenient for us to do so at this time, we will gladly wait until it is, I assure you,” Siddhir remarked. “It is not that, Siddhir. You may bind anytime you like, even upon Haldir’s return, if you so choose,” Galadriel replied, softly. A feeling of profound sorrow washed over him in an instant, and Siddhir suddenly realized that Galadriel was holding something back from him. “My Lady, forgive me, for I mean no disrespect- but I must inquire. I sense that there is something else I need to know- something that you do not wish to tell me.” Galadriel sighed. “No matter how sporadic, your gift is keen enough at times, Siddhir.” “Please tell me, my Lady,” Siddhir whispered. “Forgive me, but I cannot. I will however, show you- if you wish.” “Very well then, let it be so,” Siddhir replied, steadfast. Galadriel nodded and stood. Then she stepped out from behind the desk and slowly walked past him. Siddhir followed. **************************************** “Haldir! How very good to see you. Welcome again to Rivendell,” Elrond greeted. Erestor, Elrond’s counselor and confidant, stood close by his Lord’s side. He did not speak, but nodded pleasantly to the approaching party. To those who did not know him, his stature might appear somewhat threatening. He was far taller and darker than Elrond, given his olive skin, and his long, straight hair was as black and shiny as a raven’s feathers. His coal coloured eyes were deep set and narrow, but sparkled as if they were smiling, even though his lips did not. Haldir nodded. *“Hannon lle, Heruamin;* [thank you, my Lord] Erestor.” Elrond held out his arms to them, his deep green robes spreading out wide across his arms. “Welcome one and all. I know you must be weary. You will be shown to your rooms forthwith, and you may eat whenever you like, for the kitchens are always open. Please follow Erestor. Haldir, might I have a word?” “Of course, my Lord.” he turned to Fereveldir. “Settle in with the others. I will see you later.” Fereveldir nodded, and he, along with Elviondel, Nilfalath, Calaglin and Dinendal followed Erestor into the last homely house. Haldir stayed behind and strolled in the gardens with Elrond. “How have you been faring, Haldir?” Haldir stole a glance at him. He seemed genuinely concerned. “I am quite well, my Lord. Why do you ask?” “No reason,” Elrond responded casually. “It has been quite some time since I have laid eyes upon you. I told you long ago that I care very much about you, and I meant it. I did then, and I do now. Nothing has changed.” “You are very kind, my Lord- but you need not worry after me. I am no longer the troubled young elf I was then. I like to think that I have evolved,” Haldir returned cheerfully. Elrond smiled, taking a long look at him. “And so you have. Far be it from me to question that.” Haldir chuckled, not lost on Elrond’s quick inspection of the well developed contours of his body. “I am glad to see that you have not lost your sense of humour.” Elrond winked and placed an arm about Haldir’s shoulders. “Nor you yours, my friend.” ********************************** Siddhir stood in front of the mirror with Galadriel. She looked at him cautiously as she poured the water into it. “You may recant, Siddhir. You need not look into it,” Galadriel warned. Siddhir turned his gaze upon her. “I will look. I think that I must see what brings such sorrow into my Lady’s heart that it washes through her in waves like the sea over a cliff’s rocks.” “Very well,” Galadriel whispered, bowing her head and stepping away. Siddhir looked down into the mirror. After a few moments, he saw a raging battle between Elves and Orcs. A battle in which the Elves were greatly outnumbered, but they were faring well regardless. The beasts were falling two and three at a time by the swords of each Lorien soldier that they encountered. Then he saw himself, fighting along with his kin, defending Lorien and gaining the advantage, until something made him turn. What he saw after that, made his breath hitch in his throat. He stood there for a few moments after the images had faded, then he turned to Galadriel, who gazed upon him with sorrowful eyes laden with unshed tears. He smiled and walked slowly over to her, even though his eyes were awash with tears of his own. “Weep not, my Lady. I would *gladly* die in defence of Lorien. It is the reason I chose to become of the Galadhrim. Do not be troubled,” Siddhir whispered. “But *you* are troubled. I had so wished not to have to let you see that- but you asked directly, and I had to comply,” Galadriel answered. “I am troubled not for myself, my Lady. My only thoughts now are for Haldir.” “It is not set in stone, Siddhir. It can be hundreds of years, even a *millennia* from now. It can even *change.* We cannot be exactly sure,” Galadriel explained. Siddhir met her gaze. “Or it can be *tomorrow.”* he exhaled. “Thank you, my Lady. I should be going now. I have taken enough of your time.” “But what of your binding?” Galadriel asked, as he walked away. Siddhir turned back to face her, his eyes unwavering. “I *cannot* bind with him now. I would only take him with me- and that I will *not* do. I will not deny Orophin and Rumil their brother. What I need to do now, is to try and figure the best way to get out of it. *Quel du, Arwenamin. Hannon lle.”* [Good night, my Lady. Thank you]