Justin sat down and smiled at Jim. “How are things, Justin?” Jim asked. He could see the change in the blond. “It’s getting better,” Justin told him. “That’s good to hear,” the therapist said. “Tell me about it.” Justin looked at the floor. “I take the bus to go to work. The first time it was really scary and when I made it there I stayed in my office the whole day. I didn’t want anyone around me.” “When did this start?” Jim asked. “Like a week ago,” Justin said. “I still take the bus and I feel like I’m going to explode, but I get there. Each day I get there and I don’t explode and I think that sooner or later it will get better.” Jim nodded. “If it doesn’t you have to tell me, Justin.” “I will,” Justin said. “What else has changed?” Jim asked. “I can go up to Brian and kiss him and touch him,” Justin said. “We still…haven’t done it. It’s…I can’t.” “Good,” Jim said. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.” Justin nodded. “I went to Babylon with Brian the other night and it wasn’t as bad as before.” “Why not?” Jim asked. “Well, I would dance with Brian but I used to cling to him like someone was about to kill me,” Justin pointed out. “Now I can relax. Dancing with him helps me forget everything.” “We don’t want to forget, Justin,” Jim told him. “We want to deal with it and crush the problem. So when you remember, you know it can’t hurt you.” Justin nodded slowly. “But it’s good sometimes, you know, when I think it’s too much to just dance the night away with him.” Jim nodded and made a few notes in his notebook. “Have you been keeping a journal?” Jim asked. Justin nodded. “Sometimes I start writing the things I feel and…when I read them it’s like that person is not me.” “You’re not the same person you used to be,” Jim told him. “You’ve changed. You’re stronger now.” “Am I?” Justin asked. “Of course you are, Justin,” Jim said. “You’re fighting with everything you have to make it. Even when it gets hard you keep going.” Justin sighed. “I want to get better so badly. But…it’s still there. He’s still there.” Jim crossed his legs. “Write to him and let him know how you feel.” “He’s dead,” Justin said. “That doesn’t matter,” Jim said. “You can say it out loud if it helps.” Justin thought about it. “I don’t know.” “You can do it when you’re alone,” Jim assured him. “You can scream or you can write it and burn the letter afterwards if you don’t want anyone to see it.” The blond nodded as he listened to the man. They talked about a few more things before time was up. When he got out he was supposed to call Daphne but he didn’t. He took the bus and ended up in the last place he thought he would ever set foot. He asked for the information he needed and then walked slowly. His body was throbbing with rage and something else; fear. Then when he found what he was looking for he started at it like it was the enemy; it was. “You might wonder what I’m doing here,” Justin whispered. “I do too.” The blond sat down slowly and started playing with the grass. He looked back at the headstone. He read the name over and over again wondering if it was a joke. “It’s supposed to be over,” Justin said. “You’re dead.” The young man sighed and shook his head. He started crying and quickly cleaned his tears. “Why did you do this to me?” Justin asked. “Why?” He punched the ground under him and took a deep breath. “I would have done anything for you,” Justin said. “When I was in love with you.” The man knew there had been a time when Cameron had been his everything. “You had no right, Cameron!” Justin hissed. “No right at all.” The blond started sobbing then. He tried to take deep breaths of air and try to calm down but it was hopeless so he gave up trying. When no more tears appeared he moved forward. “I have to tell you something,” Justin whispered. He stared at the date and nodded. He remembered Michael’s words as if he was saying them now. Then thought about Brian’s smile and the way they were now. “I won, Cam,” Justin said and laughed. “I bet you had to be surprised. I beat you and now you can’t hurt me anymore. It wasn’t even Brian. It was me, just little old me. I was better than you and now you’re dead. I was much stronger than you thought. You’re dead Cameron. I killed you. All those things you did to me over the years won’t matter now. I’m still here and you’re not.” Justin moved forwards and put his hand on the headstone. He moved it down slowly his fingertips going over the letters. “I’m sorry that I killed you. I only wanted to protect myself,” Justin whispered. “I didn’t want to but…I was so angry and so scared. You said you were going to hurt Brian. He’s…he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. He cares about me in his own way. He might not be perfect but he isn’t like you. You…you’re the one that’s wrong. Not me or him. You damaged everything you touched and you tried to damage me, but you couldn’t. I’m stronger than that.” Justin pulled away and nodded to himself. He stood up and looked down. “Goodbye Cameron,” Justin said before he turned around and left. *** “I don’t know what to get you guys,” Daphne said. Justin frowned. “What do you mean?” “For your anniversary,” Daphne said. “Can you believe it’s been almost a year?” Justin pouted. “Uh yeah, time flies.” “Are you okay?” Daphne asked. Justin nodded at her. “I’m just a bit tired.” Daphne didn’t believe him for a moment but let it slip. “I can come tomorrow.” The blond leaned back on the sofa and shook his head. “Want to watch a movie?” The girl shrugged and nodded. Justin got up to make some popcorn and Daphne went to help him. Half an hour later they had the popcorn and some drinks. The movie was playing and they were on the sofa with their feet up and a duvet over them. When the movie was almost over Brian came home. He looked at the two friends and smirked. “What is this?” Brian asked. Daphne smiled at the brunet. Brian sat down next to the blond. He lifted the duvet and moved as close to Justin as he could. The blond loved when the brunet embraced him like that. It made him feel safe and wanted. “Missed you,” Brian whispered close to Justin’s ear. The blond couldn’t help but break out into a wide smile. “So this is what you do while I’m away working hard?” Brian asked. Daphne laughed at that. “I can only try,” Justin told him. “Did you go to work today?” the brunet asked. Justin nodded. “I came back early because there wasn’t much to do.” “So,” Daphne said getting up. “I think I’m going to go.” “I hope ist’s not because of me,” Brian told her. She shook her head even thought it was a lie. She could see how close they were and she didn’t want to interrupt them. She could have the blond all to herself later on. She knew that Justin would always be her best friend. “Fine,” Brian said. “I’ve been told I’m pretty good company.” Justin laughed and watched as Brian got up to walk with Daphne to the door. She kissed the blond on the cheek before she followed the older man. Justin turned around. “You’ll call me.” “Yeah,” she said. “Bye Daphne,” Brian said. She waved goodbye at him and left. Then Brian walked back to the blond. “So,” he said as he came back to the sofa. “Hey,” the blond said. Brian got on the sofa and the first thing he did was kiss the blond. He couldn’t keep his hands away from him. “I want you,” Brian whispered. Justin smiled. The brunet moved to kneel on the floor. He pushed the blond’s sweats down at the man’s erection sprang free. Brian didn’t lose anytime in sucking the blond. The smaller man threw his head back and enjoyed it. “Fucking shit,” the blond hissed when the older man started to deep throat him. Brian closed his eyes and moaned as the blond’s cum slid down his throat. Then he pulled back and licked Justin clean. “You know,” Justin said happily. “I’m happy that you’re home.” “I bet,” the brunet said as he finished getting Justin naked. Justin watched as Brian got naked as well before the brunet gave him a condom. He couldn’t believe how easily the man relinquished control to him. He just hope that soon enough he would be okay and Brian would be able to make love to him. *** Justin crossed his legs as he related a few things that had happened to Jim. He was nervous that maybe he’d dealt with things the wrong way. “So how did you handle that?” Jim asked. “I was going to punch him,” Justin said. Jim frowned. “I mean I know that’s totally crazy,” Justin said smiling a bit. “But it was like the first thing that I felt like doing. It was mostly because I was scared.” Jim nodded glad that Justin was being truthful with him. “So then I was thinking that I was nuts for wanting to punch the guy and I wanted to run away,” the blond said. “I don’t know. I started freaking out and then Brian looked at my direction and I relaxed a bit.” Jim wrote down again. “So I told him I was with someone and he backed away,” Justin said. “Then I managed to walk back to the bar where Brian was waiting for me.” “What did you tell him?” Jim asked. “That I wanted to go home,” Justin whispered. “I was still…a bit upset about what had happened.” “Did you guys go home?” Jim asked. “Not right away,” Justin said. “Brian told me that I had to relax and that I had to enjoy myself.” Jim nodded. “We had a few drinks and left for home but that has nothing to do with the incident,” Justin pointed out. “It doesn’t?” Jim asked. Justin shook his head. “We...just wanted to get home.” “How are things between you and Brian?” Jim asked noticing that there was a change. “We do things,” Justin said and turned red then he laughed about it. Jim nodded and waited. “I…it started simple enough with making out,” Justin told him and shrugged. “We came in our pants like high school boys,” he said and thought that Brian would probably had a heart attack if he knew that he was telling his therapist about it. Jim had a little grin in place. “Then it got more serious…him touching me more intimately,” Justin said and swallowed. “I…we shower together now and I don’t feel scare when he touches me. And we do have sex.” Jim was surprised to hear that. “You do?” “Yeah,” Justin said looking at the floor. “I’m the one that tops.” Jim wrote that down and controlled himself. He so wanted to laugh about that. Only because it was proof that Brian did cared about Justin and would do anything for him. So all the brunet had said before about not doing relationship was pretty much bullshit. “Has he tried to be on top?” Jim asked. Justin shook his head and sighed. “He’s serious about waiting for me to be ready.” “He cares about you,” Jim said. “Don’t focus too much and what he says. Try to see the things he does for you.” Justin nodded because it was true. Most of the time Brian’s actions were more important than his words. “Are there any concerns that you have regarding your relationship with Brian?” Jim asked. The blond swallowed. “I…I’m scared of what is going to happen once the year is over and he doesn’t need me anymore.” “Justin,” Jim said. “I have to admit this is a very odd situation.” Justin nodded. “But people have fallen in love over the years while they have been in hundreds of different positions in their lives,” the therapist said. The blond shrugged. “You and Brian might have had come together under strange circumstances but you guys love each other now,” Jim said. “I know I love him,” Justin said. “And you’re willing to fight for that love,” Jim said. “And so it’s Brian.” “How can you be so sure?” Justin asked. Jim smiled at that. He knew because just as Justin was having a few sessions a month so was Brian. He had managed to get a great deal of insight when it concerned the brunet. He knew it was hard for the man to express what he felt verbally but Brian was working on it; he was helping him as much as he could. “Are you not sure?” Jim asked. Justin shrugged. “Can we talk about something else?” “Let’s talk about Cameron then,” Jim told him. Justin took a deep breath and nodded. He was certain that he was ready to confront the ghost of his ex. *** “Why are we here?” Brian asked frowning. “Oh shut up,” Justin said smiling. “You like my parents. God, I think you like them more than I do.” Brian smirked. “That’s not true, Sunshine.” “Whatever,” Justin said. “I promise it will be over soon. It’s just dinner. They want to see how…” Brian bent down and kissed Justin’s cheek. “You’re doing fantastic.” Justin smiled at that. “Thanks for being here with me even thought you don’t have to.” Brian nodded slowly. He didn’t know why suddenly Justin was thanking him so much. And each time he would remind Brian that he didn’t have to be there. He knocked on the door and waited. Justin sighed and rang the bell. “Boys,” Jennifer said smiling when she looked at them. “You look great.” “Thanks,” Brian told her. Jennifer pulled her son into a hug and wouldn’t let go. “Stop it mom,” Justin told her. “I want to breathe.” Brian laughed and crossed his arms. He wished his mother was like Mrs. Taylor. “You won’t laugh when she’s all over you,” Justin warned him. And just like that Jennifer was hugging Brian and kissing him. She was so happy to see them. She enjoyed having the boys at her house. She loved the look in Justin’s face; her son was happy and she knew the brunet had a lot to do with that. “Okay, okay,” Brian said as he pulled away. They entered the house and Jennifer closed the door. Then they moved to the living room where Craig welcomed them. Molly got busy talking with her brother while Brian talked with Craig. Jennifer participated in both conversations and from time to time went to check the food. “It’s looks great,” Justin said as they sat down to eat. “Brian told me you went back to work,” Craig said. Justin nodded. “That’s good,” Craig said and gave his son a smile. Justin smiled back and grabbed Brian’s hand under that table. Time seemed to fly by and before they knew it they were saying goodbye. “Call me, okay,” Jennifer said. “I will mom,” Justin assured her. “It was good to see you, Brian,” Craig said shaking the man’s hand. “We’ll talk.” Brian nodded and then left with Justin. “God, I’m stuffed,” Justin said. The brunet smirked. “I can’t believe I ate that much,” he muttered. “Is this going to become a regular thing?” “You don’t have to worry about that, Brian,” Justin told him as they walked to the car. “Two more weeks and this is over. You will have your wonderful life back.” Brian stopped walking but Justin didn’t. When Justin realized that Brian wasn’t next to him he turned around. “What’s wrong?” Justin asked. Brian walked slowly towards him. He knew right then what had been bothering Justin. The blond had to be upset about the whole thing. And he couldn’t blame him; he was pretty angry at how things had happened. If he could go to the beginning he would want to meet Justin and the bet would have never been part of it. “What if...” “What if what?” Justin asked. “What if I didn’t have the money to pay you?” Brian asked. Justin laughed and shook his head. “You won this Brian. Ted has to give you the money or...” he stopped talking and swallowed. Suddenly the light bulb went on in his head. He felt his hands shaking and for the life of him he couldn’t pronounce a single word. The blond turned around and headed for the Jeep. He got inside and waited for Brian. The brunet sighed and walked to the car. None of them said anything as Brian drove them home. Once in the loft Justin went and took a shower and when he came out Brian took his turn. The brunet was racking his brain trying to figure out what the fuck he’d been thinking. He couldn’t believe he had told that to Justin. He had put himself out there and had been turned down. It hurt him so much. When he came out he found that the place was completely dark except for a few candles around the bed. He stared at Justin who was sitting in the bed naked with his knees pulled up to his chest. He was frozen to the spot; he couldn’t move. When Justin looked up he saw Brian staring at him. He kneeled in the bed and extended his hand towards the brunet. Brian moved slowly and took it. They came together in a searing kiss. Justin’s body was trembling in Brian’s arms, but the older man knew it was okay this time. “Love me,” Justin whispered. Brian could have cried out of pure joy at that moment. His hands roamed Justin’s body in every direction. They grabbed Justin’s ass and then moved down to caress the blond’s thighs. He moaned into the kiss as he pressed their bodies together. Then his hands moved up and he touched the blond’s back and pulled back to travel Justin’s chest. He caressed the man’s nipples and then pushed Justin back so he could kiss his lover’s skin. Justin was going insane. It was like Brian had a hundred hands. He gasped when Brian grabbed his cock and frowned when he let go of it. Then Brian was kissing the inside of his thighs and before he knew it the brunet was licking his entrance. “Oh god, Brian!” Justin yelled when the brunet penetrated him with his appendage. Brian pulled back and went to kiss Justin again. He wanted to eat him alive. “You’re beautiful,” Brian whispered. Justin moaned not sure when Brian had gotten the lube. But there they were, Brian’s slick fingers were pushing inside of him and he wanted more. He grabbed his lover’s face and pulled him close for a kiss. He gasped and his body arched up as Brian entered him. It was so slowly that he thought he was going to pass out. “Justin,” Brian whispered. Justin opened his eyes and smiled. This is what he wanted. He was done with everything else. This was his prize. He won. He really had won the battle and the war. It was all his. “I love you, Brian.” Brian kissed him hard and started moving slowly. He wanted to enjoy every inch of the man under him. Justin’s legs were wrapped tightly around his waist. Their bodies were dripping with sweat and moans and groans escaped their mouths. They were burning with passion, love and lust for each other. The world could burn around them and it didn’t matter. Their heat was greater and they wouldn’t have taken notice. “You feel so good,” Brian grunted. “Oh god, Brian!” Justin yelled as his fingers lost themselves in the brunet’s strands. “You’re mine,” Brian whispered. “All mine.” Justin nodded. “I am.” “I love you,” Brian told him and kissed him hard. That’s when tears did fall. *** “I have to Jus,” Brian said and pulled out of the blond. He took off the condom and threw it away. Justin stretched and smiled before he moved closer to the brunet. “That was amazing.” Brian smiled and kissed him. “You’re amazing.” They kissed for a long time. Just touching each other lazily and giggling from time to time. They were very happy and then the blond said what Brian didn’t want to hear. “We have to talk,” Justin said. Brian sighed and sat up. “About what?” Justin stayed laying back. He frowned and knew it wouldn’t be pretty. He didn’t know if it would make Brian change his mind about them. “About us,” he said. “There is nothing to talk about,” Brian said. “We…you’re mine.” Justin smiled at that and sat up so he could hug Brian. “You know what I mean.” The brunet pulled away and got up from the bed. “Okay,” he said. Justin arched a brow. “We’re together,” Brian said. “For real.” Justin nodded slowly. “And…I know that you say you don’t want to change me,” Brian told him. “I don’t want to change you,” Justin said. Brian shrugged. “You fell in love with me because of all we did. We went out as a couple and I pretended that I like every bit of it because I had to. I had to buy you presents and do so many things that I wouldn’t have done otherwise.” “But I knew that,” Justin said. “I knew it was all make believe.” Brian sat back down on the bed facing Justin. “It’s different now. I don’t know if I can give you those things.” “I just want you to give yourself to me,” Justin informed him. Brian frowned. “I don’t know if I can do that either.” Justin sighed and caressed Brian’s face. “I don’t want to lose you, Brian. Do you know how happy I am? How happy I was that you wanted more?” Brian pulled the blond to him. “I love to see you smile.” Justin smiled because of that. “I’m afraid that I would screw things up,” Brian told him. “I don’t know where to start.” “Did you like anything at all?” Justin asked. “Of the things we did together…aside fucking.” Brian laughed. “I liked when we spend time together alone. I like that.” “That’s a start,” Justin muttered. “I liked when we went out together with the guys and Michael would kiss Ben and I knew I could do the same with you,” Brian muttered. “That even I had someone.” Justin liked hearing that. “I liked when someone came to hit on you and I could show the world you were mine,” Brian confessed. “God,” Justin said wrapping his arms tightly around the man. “You’re so fucking perfect.” “I know that,” Brian said and they laughed. “Bri,” Justin said. “I don’t know how things are going to change,” the blond told him. “I know that you’re going to trick because that’s just you and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle it or not. I’m not going to be the perfect boyfriend I was. There were things that really pissed me off and I had to pretend like they didn’t matter.” “Like what?” Brian asked. “Like when you looked at other guys,” Justin said. “I know it’s stupid but I don’t like it. I know it was because…I thought things like if we were really together and there was no bet you would be over that person in no time. I just…” “Justin,” Brian said. “What?” Justin asked sadly. “I don’t think I’m going to trick anymore,” Brian told him. Justin looked at Brian like he was crazy. “I mean,” Brian said. “Think about it. I haven’t been with anyone but you over a period of a year. And it’s true that I look but for some reason I don’t think anything more of it. And…all that time I was without sex I could have gone and fucked anyone.” Justin nodded knowing that it was true. “But I wanted you,” Brian whispered and pulled the blond even closer. “I always want you. I want to wake with you in my arms and spend the day with you and go to sleep with you. Holding you close to me.” Justin kissed Brian hard. He wanted the brunet again. “Justin,” Brian said pulling back. “I’m not saying that I won’t screw up because I probably will. But I won’t do it on purpose. The last thing in the world that I want is to hurt you.” “Make love to me, Brian,” Justin told him. Brian pushed the blond back in the bed and got on top of him. He kissed him hard and pulled back with a smile. “They are going to shit, huh?” “Who?” Justin asked. “The guys,” Brian whispered. “When I tell them I have a boyfriend and it’s for keeps.” Justin laughed and kissed Brian. He knew it would be new to them to have a real relationship and it was going to be hard, but he was willing to try. He would do anything to make Brian happy. Brian was having the same thoughts. *** “Guys,” Emmett said. “Have you seen the guys today?” Michael shook his head. “What is it?” he asked. He had gotten there with Ben just seconds ago. Ted drank from his beer and kept his eyes on Brian and Justin. “They are all over each other,” Emmett said. “They are together,” Ben pointed out. “No,” Emmett said. “I mean yes.” “You don’t know what you mean,” Michael said and asked for two beers. “What I mean is that they are almost fucking each other in the dance floor,” Emmett said. “Look at them.” Michael handed Ben his beer and searched for Brian and Justin. When he found them he smiled. Brian had his arms around the blond while Justin was grabbing the brunet’s ass. They were barely moving but looked like they were going to swallow each other. “They look hot,” Ben whispered to Michael. Michael arched a brow. “Should I be jealous?” “Never,” Ben told him and kissed his partner. “They look so fucking great,” Emmett said. “Maybe you should run for the bathroom as soon as possible,” Ted spat out. Emmett laughed. “Is someone cranky.” “Leave me alone,” Ted said and walked away. “He’s angry because he’s going to lose,” Emmett pointed out. Ben shook his head. “Want to dance?” “Yes,” Michael said. “Come on, Emmett.” The three of them went to the dance floor. They were having a good time. They kept checking on Brian and Justin who were oblivious to everyone. When Brian and Justin finally parted and walked to the bar they followed them. “Hi guys,” Michael said smiling. “Hey,” Justin said returning the smile. “How are you doing?” “Good,” Michael assured them. Ben came behind Michael and put his arm around the man’s waist. “Check him out,” Emmett said as a tall blond passed them by. “He’s alright,” Ben said. Michael looked back and smiled before he kissed him. “What do you guys think?” Emmett asked turning to look at Justin and Brian. Justin shrugged. “Not my type.” “Brian?” Emmett asked. Brian who was currently cleaning Justin’s neck with his tongue looked up at his friend. “What?” “The guy,” Emmett said. “Do you think he was hot?” Brian looked to the side and scanned the place quickly. Then he looked back at Emmett. “What guy?” Michael laughed at that. “Oh man, forget it. Let me buy you each a beer.” Justin accepted his and drank from it. Brian grabbed his but kept on kissing Justin’s neck. He pressed his hard on against Justin’s ass making the blond purr. Justin closed his eyes and pressed back. “Get a room,” Emmett said but he was thrilled to see Brian and Justin like that. Michael and Ben laughed. “I think we should go home, Brian,” Justin said opening his eyes. “Okay,” Brian said but still didn’t move. “We’re going to go home,” Justin said to the guys. Brian nodded as his hands kept on Justin’s waist. He pulled him closer and sucked the blond’s earlobe. Then he moved the blond’s head and started nibbling at Justin’s jaw line as his hand moved to Justin’s crotch. “You better before Brian fucks you in front of everyone,” Emmett told him smiling. Justin laughed and dragged Brian away. “I wish we could do something to keep them together,” Michael said. “Yeah,” Emmett said. “I know what you mean.” Ben smiled and thought that maybe they wouldn’t have to. If what he just saw was any indication, Brian and Justin were just crazy for each other.