This is your life, is it everything that you dreamed That it would be when the world was younger Craig opened the door and came face to face with his son. “Justin.” “Can I still come in?” Justin asked. “Yes,” Craig stepped aside with happiness in his heart. He wanted to fix things between his son and him. “Your mother and I were just starting dinner.” Justin walked to the dinning room where his mother got up quickly and went to hug him and kiss him. “Sit down,” Jennifer told him. “I’ll get you a plate.” Justin and Craig sat in the table. “How are you doing?” Craig asked him. “Good,” Justin told him. He didn’t know why the fuck he had come in the first place. Jennifer put the plate on the table along with the utensils and smiled at him. Justin reached for the salad bowl and started serving himself. “I’m so happy that you decided to come,” Jennifer told him. “Your father said that you weren’t sure if you were free.” Justin looked at his father who was chewing on his food very slowly. He understood that his father hadn’t wanted to disappoint his wife. He was glad that he had come over after all. “So how’s work?” Jennifer asked. “I quit,” Justin told her. “You what?” Craig was shocked. He just saw Justin digging himself a hole deeper into the ground. He wanted his son to triumph not the other way around. “I didn’t like it,” Justin shrugged. “I have enough money in the bank Dad. Plus I decided to paint full time. Painting offers me a lot of more money and I enjoy it.” Jennifer nodded at her son. She was behind him one hundred percent. “As long as you’re happy, Justin.” Justin looked at his plate. He just had finished serving himself all that his mother had cooked. He really wasn’t that hungry. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Jennifer asked her son and took a sip of her wine. Justin sighed and looked at her with annoyance. “No, I don’t Mom.” Craig felt uncomfortable talking about Justin’s lifestyle. He really didn’t care if his son was with someone else. He just couldn’t stand to know that Justin was gay. He was trying his best but it was so hard. “What about Brian?” Jennifer asked. “He seemed like a nice man.” Justin wanted to just die. He looked at his father who looked kind of pale. “Can we talk about something else? Please?” “I just want to know,” Jennifer told him. “We barely talk,” she couldn’t help but think that she had lost her son and she was partly to blame for the loss. Maybe she hadn’t tried hard enough to stay in contact with her baby. “Well, there is nothing to talk about,” Justin told her. “Brian and I are just...friends.” “He’s not good enough for you,” Craig muttered. Justin looked at his father. He sighed and he just knew that his father had checked Brian out. He hated that his father did that all the time. He wasn’t a baby; he knew what he was doing. “Why not?” Jennifer asked. “I met him. I think he was nice and very handsome too.” Justin smirked at his mother. “Don’t talk about him, Jen,” Craig told her his voice was dry and tight. “Why not?” Justin asked. “This is not what we’re here for,” Craig said. “I thought we were getting up to date in my life,” Justin said. “Because this is my life, Dad. I’m not going to change. I’m not going to wake up suddenly and be straight and come to the family dinners and talk about woman. It’s not going to happen so just accept me how I am!” Craig dropped his fork and got up from the table. He shook his head and left. “Ugh!” Justin got up as well. “Justin,” Jennifer walked after him. “You haven’t eaten.” “I lost my appetite,” Justin told her as he opened the door. He was so angry with his father and with himself. He didn’t know why he put himself in situations where his father could drive him out off his mind. “Justin, stop!” Jennifer yelled. Justin turned around and stared at his mother. He could see how distraught she looked. He sighed and knew it wasn’t her fault. “I love you,” Jennifer said. “And I’m sorry that you’re having so many problems with your father but I’m not him. I accept you, Justin. You’re my son.” Justin’s eyes watered a bit but he looked away. He really had pushed his whole family away. “I’m going to call you, Mom.” “No,” Jennifer told him. “It’s not the same. It’s not enough.” Justin sighed and stayed silent. “How about if we meet tomorrow?” Jennifer asked. “I want to spend time with you.” Justin nodded slowly and walked up to her. He kissed her on the cheek and grinned. “But you’re paying because I’m a starving artist now.” “Little rascal,” Jennifer swatted him in the arm. “I’ll let you know where we’re going.” Justin nodded and walked to his car. He decided to go see Daphne. He had abandoned her and he was sure that she was more than pissed. “Oh, so you’re not dead,” Daphne said as Justin appeared in her living room. “What can I say?” Justin smirked. “Hell won’t have me.” Daphne rolled her eyes. “You’re an asshole. You left me waiting for you.” “I had some problems,” Justin told her. Daphne sat down next to him. “With who?” “My father,” Justin muttered. “Oh,” Daphne shook her head. She looked at the blond and wondered why Justin became so vulnerable when it came to his father. He was so tough in everything else but maybe underneath it all it was one big show. “I had dinner today with my parents,” Justin told her. “And you didn’t tell me?” Daphne asked. “I thought you would tell me to fuck off,” Justin sighed as he threw his head back. “Remind me not to do that again.” “I will,” Daphne rested her head on his shoulder. “What happened?” “My father can’t accept me, what else is new?” Justin asked. “Why did you go?” Daphne asked him. “Because I’m an idiot,” Justin told her. “Jesus, Mom started asking about Brian and it all went to hell from there.” “Oh,” Daphne muttered. “So talking about Brian...” “Don’t change the subject Daphne,” Justin told her. “I just think you should see him,” Daphne knew her friend well enough to know that the blond wanted to be with Brian. “That’s all.” “We’re just friends,” Justin repeated for the second time in one day. “You’re going to die all alone if you keep this up,” Daphne pulled away. “Is that what you want?” “Let’s not start this,” Justin got up. He would go home where no one would bother him. “Oh, how the truth hurts,” Daphne grinned. “Fuck you, Daph!” Justin hissed. “I didn’t want this. I...I was fine with him and how things were going. He was the one that pulled back. So fuck him.” “This is not how it was supposed to go,” Daphne said. Justin frowned as he looked at her. “I remember you used to tell me how you were going to live in a big house and have many kids and a husband that loved you,” Daphne hoped that one day Justin would find those things. She wanted him to be happy. “Well,” Justin ran his fingers through his hair. “I grew up, Daphne. I saw the world how it really is and the truth is that I don’t want that anymore.” Daphne felt her heart breaking for him. She didn’t know if it was true or if Justin was lying. “I’m going to go,” Justin turned around and left. He didn’t leave her time to say anything more. When he was outside the apartment door he went down the stairs in record time. Then he reached his car and got inside. He was going home but he stayed there thinking about what Daphne had said. He thought about how the world went in circles and how things changed no matter what. *** This will all fall down Like everything else that was This too shall pass and all the Words she said we can’t take back Brian was sitting in one of the booths staring at his coffee. He didn’t know what the fuck he was doing there. “Brian,” Michael said. Brian smiled a bit to himself, unconsciously he had been waiting for Michael. “Hey, Mikey.” “Are you okay?” Michael asked. “You look kind of down.” “Hard day at the office,” Brian told him. “That sucks,” Michael looked around for his mother. “So, what are we doing tonight?” Brian shrugged. “We can go to Babylon,” Michael said excited. He loved it when Brian and him danced. He couldn’t wait to be close to the man yet again. “Sure,” Brian took out his wallet and put a few bills on the table. “I’ll go change.” “I can’t go to the loft for awhile,” Michael told him. “If you wait for me I can go with you.” “That’s okay,” Brian told him as he got up. “Just meet me there.” “Okay,” Michael smiled and waved. Brian arrived at the loft and the last thing he wanted to do was go to Babylon but he had told Michael they would so he had to. When he closed the door and turned Justin was sitting on the sofa with beer in hand and smoking his weed. “Hello, Brian,” Justin said. “What are you doing here?” Brian asked. Justin shrugged and stayed sitting. He could tell that Brian was in a bad mood. Cynthia was right when she had called him. He smiled a bit thinking that there must be a reason that Cynthia thought he was the one person indicated to handle Brian. “This is my fucking loft,” Brian hissed. “And that’s my beer and my stash.” “I know,” Justin told him smiling. “Want some?” Brian pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re fucking insane. What the fuck are you doing here?” “I was feeling a bit out of it,” Justin told him and looked at Brian. “Being here calms me down.” Brian just sat down and took the blunt away from Justin’s hands. He took a long drag from it and then leaned back slowly. “There, there,” Justin got up and went to get a beer for the brunet.” “What are you doing here?” Brian asked him once again. “I already told you,” Justin answered. He opened the beer and came back with it. “There you go.” Brian grabbed it and stayed silent. Justin watched him for a few seconds trying to figure out what was happening with Brian. He put his beer on the coffee table and Brian started bitching about using a coaster. Justin got on his knees and put his hands on Brian’s thighs. “What the fuck are you doing?” Brian asked but didn’t make a move to get away. He just stared at the man and really hoped that Justin’s intention was to start sucking him and not praying. He took a long drag from the blunt before he put it away. Quietly Justin reached for Brian’s crotch, taking his eyes away from Brian while he took the man’s growing erection out of its confines. He licked his lips and he looked up at Brian. He asked silently for permission although he had gained that the minute he had gotten on his knees. Justin licked the tip of Brian’s cock and he felt himself getting harder. His tongue ran across Brian’s head and then down the hard shaft. Brian threw his head back and gripped the beer in his hand. He dreamt of Justin’s mouth every night and he didn’t want to wake up if it was one of those dreams. His eyes opened when he heard Justin undoing his own pants. Brian’s mouth watered and he imagined Justin’s taste in every recess in his mouth. The smaller man’s nimble fingers and palm massaged Brian’s sac. He stopped jerking off as he grabbed Brian’s hips to keep him in place. He started to take Brian all the way in and humming around Brian’s cock. “Fuck,” Brian bit his lower lip and thought of something else to keep from exploding. He didn’t want it to be too soon. His fingers twisted in Justin’s hair. No one could work him as well as the blond. Justin’s hand moved to Brian’s balls again but then it reached for more. He managed to rub his fingers around Brian’s hole at the same time his tongue fucked Brian’s piss hole. “Fuck!” Brian hissed as he shot his cum inside Justin’s mouth. Justin swallowed every drop as if his life depended on it. He pulled back and stared at Brian watching the man’s skin glow. He wanted Brian at that precise moment. He wanted to possess the taller man and never let him go. He quickly got up not sure why he was having those thoughts. It was Daphne’s fault he deduced and wondered how he could think of that woman or any woman for that matter at a time like that. Brian opened his eyes and closed his mouth. He felt a bit shaky so he stayed put and watched Justin’s erection. Justin grabbed the beer away from Brian and took a sip from it. He got really close to the sofa and pull Brian by the back of the head. “Suck me,” Justin told him and Brian did. Brian held the blond by his hips as he sucked on the blond’s cock head. He knew Justin wasn’t going to last long so he went straight to deep throat the man. Justin hips started to move on their own accord and he couldn’t help but to fuck Brian’s mouth. His free hand held on to Brian’s shoulder so he just wouldn’t fall down. Brian didn’t have to wait long to taste the blond’s cum. He swallowed every bit and licked Justin clean. When he pulled back Justin was staring at him like he was about to eat him. “That was great,” Brian commented. “I know,” Justin told him putting the beer on the coffee table next to his. “Are you okay?” Brian asked. Justin zipped his pants quickly. “I have to go.” Brian stayed silent. He didn’t know what to think. One minute Justin was giving him so much and the next he was taking everything away. They shouldn’t have been sucking each other in the first place. Justin leaned closer to Brian and kissed him. “If you need anything call me.” Brian stared at the blond like he was from another planet. He didn’t want to feel Justin so close to him. He didn’t want to need the blond for anything. He hated that Justin could kiss him like that and he hated that Justin could walk away from him without feeling like his world was about to crumble. “Remember that parents are always trying to do what’s best for you even when they’re oh so fucking wrong,” Justin told him. Brian looked up. “How did you know?” “I know you,” Justin shrugged. “They’re the only people that can get through to you and hurt you.” Brian was thinking that Justin could get to him and hurt him but no one had to know that. He just kept quiet. “Later,” Justin told him and walked to the door. When he opened Michael was standing there with Emmett. “What are you doing here?” Michael asked. Justin smirked. It was just too easy to play with Michael and he couldn’t help it. It was like the man’s look alone made him do it. “You know how it goes. I was helping Brian feel a lot better.” “What’s wrong with him?” Emmett asked. “Nothing now,” Justin said as he left. Michael and Emmett looked at Brian who was sitting on the sofa with his eyes closed and his head thrown back. By the looks of him they could tell what he and Justin had been doing. The taller man was oblivious to them as he thought of Justin even though “he was trying very hard not to”. Emmett was smirking as he walked inside the loft. Michael on the other hand stood there watching Brian for a few more seconds. His knuckles were turning white as he fisted his hands. He knew he had to come up with something to keep Brian and Justin away from each other. *** The way I hurt myself again Just to get back at you “What do you want to eat?” Daphne asked as she walked with Justin. “I already ate,” Justin looked around the streets. “With Mom.” “Really,” Daphne muttered. “You have to tell me all about it as we eat.” “I...” Justin sighed. “I want Chinese.” Daphne nodded and they kept walking down the street. Close to the end of the block was a little restaurant. She knew that he probably had played with his food while his mother and him talked. And even if it wasn’t like that Justin was a bottomless pit. “I want to know everything about it,” Daphne told him. “Well,” Justin started to tell her but grabbed his phone as he felt it vibrating. He looked at the number and stopped walking. “Who is it?” Daphne asked. “Brian,” Justin said. “Fuck.” “Answer it,” Daphne told him. Justin wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted nothing more than to talk with Brian, to be with him and spend time with him. But he didn’t want things to get weird between them again. He was fine with letting Brian do whatever he wanted, except treating him like a fucking rag doll. “Justin,” Daphne’s voice made it to the blond’s ear. Justin blinked and hit the answer button. “Hello?” “Justin,” Brian’s husky voice was heard. “Brian,” Justin never thought it would feel like that. But his heart actually fell to the floor and back. Now his heartbeat was a mile per minute. “Are you okay?” Brian cleared his throat. “I’m at the hospital.” Justin closed his eyes and waited. He wasn’t going to freak out. “What’s going on?” “It’s Michael,” Brian told him. “I’m okay.” “What happened to him?” Justin asked relieved that Brian was okay. “He had an accident,” Brian informed him. “I wanted to let you know in case you wanted to see him.” “I’m on my way,” Justin assured him. “You don’t have to,” Brian reminded him. “I’ll be there,” Justin looked at Daphne and pointed at the yellow cab. Daphne nodded and went to get them one. Justin walked behind her at a slower pace. “Are you okay?” Justin asked. “Of course,” Brian closed his eyes. “I’m going to go. I need to be here for him, later.” “Later,” Justin closed the phone and got in the cab where Daphne was waiting. “Where to?” the driver asked. “The general hospital,” Justin told him. “What’s going on, Justin?” Daphne asked. “Michael got hurt,” Justin sighed. “He had some kind of accident. Brian didn’t tell me.” “My god,” Daphne commented. “Is he okay?” “Well, he didn’t say that Michael was dead,” Justin said. “And he called you?” Daphne asked. “He sounded upset,” Justin told her. “And he called me.” Daphne smiled at that. She knew that Justin wasn’t friends with Michael. Justin was always complaining about Michael or making fun of the man. She was sure that Brian was well aware of that, so she was sure when she said that Brian needed Justin as much as the blond needed the other man. “We’re here,” the driver told them. Justin gave him the money and didn’t wait for his change. He walked with Daphne inside the emergency room and they spotted David right away. David saw them and walked towards them. “Hi,” Justin pushed his sleeves back. “What happened?” “Michael fell down the stairs at home,” David told him. “He broke his right leg and injured his back. Plus he has a contusion on his head and his hip.” “Fuck,” Justin said. “Did you get to see him?” David nodded and looked back. “Debbie is sitting in there with Brian and Vic.” “Okay,” Justin didn’t wait any longer and went to see Brian. “I need some fresh air,” David said as he looked at Daphne. Daphne put her hand on his arm and gave him an encouraging grip before she followed Justin. She saw the blond hugging Debbie and talking to her. Daphne walked over to Brian and kissed him on the cheek. “Hey,” Daphne smiled. “How are you doing?” “I’m fine,” Brian told her. “How long have you guys been here?” Justin asked as he sat in between Vic and Brian. “Hours,” Debbie took a deep breath. “My baby is going to be okay.” “Thank god,” Vic said. He couldn’t believe that Michael almost killed himself. “It was a nasty fall.” “But how did it happen?” Justin asked. “David said that one minute Michael was okay and the next thing he knew he saw Michael falling,” Brian cleared his throat. “I think you should go home,” Debbie said looking at Brian. “He’s okay now. You guys don’t have to be here.” “Its okay Deb,” Justin told her as he got up. “Is he in that room?” he nodded towards it. “Yeah,” Debbie said. Justin put his hand on the back of Brian’s head and scratched him gently. Brian looked up and smiled briefly at him. Justin winked at the brunet before he went to see Michael. “What are you doing here?” Michael asked in a snarl when he saw the blond. “Brian called me,” Justin looked at Michael and shook his head. “Damn.” “What?” Michael asked. “You’re pretty banged up,” Justin said. “How are you feeling?” “What do you care?” Michael asked. “Leave me the fuck alone.” Justin wished that the man would stop being so hostile around him. He knew that they would never be the best of friends and that most of the time they were arguing but at that precise moment he was trying to be nice. “Get the fuck out of my room,” Michael told him. “What?” Justin asked. “I’m here to see that you’re okay. Brian is really worried.” Michael smiled at the thought of Brian. He knew it had been worth it. “I know. Now he’s going to take care of me.” “You have David to do that,” Justin didn’t like the way Michael’s face twisted. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. “Brian is my best friend,” Michael said. “He loves me and he’s going to be with me so I can get better.” Justin moved closer to Michael. He watched the man for a few minutes and had to ask or he would explode. “Did you throw yourself down the stairs to get Brian’s attention?” Michael froze for an instant but it was more than enough to let Justin know that it was true. He couldn’t believe it. He knew that Michael had a crush on Brian but he didn’t think the obsession was of that magnitude. “Fuck you,” Michael hissed. “Leave me alone and tell Brian that I need him here.” Justin shook his head. “Fuck you! How can you do that to a person? To everyone? They’re worried sick for you and you did this on purpose. You’re sick.” “Fuck you,” Michael told him and then shrugged. “I got what I wanted and they will not believe you if you decide to say anything.” Justin had no intention of telling anyone. He knew that it was hard to believe and he didn’t want them to know about it. It would crush their hearts, he was pretty sure. The only thing he didn’t want was Michael manipulating Brian. “Now go,” Michael told him calmly. Justin nodded as he took a few steps back. He knew two could play the same game. “I’ll go. I mean someone needs to help Brian out. I’m here to give him my support,” Justin shrugged and shook his head. “He will need me now that his friend is in such a bad shape. He must be feeling so awful that he couldn’t do more.” Michael shook his head. “Just leave me alone. Brian!” Justin took a step back and shook his head. Brian definitely needed to find himself new friends. “What’s going on?” Debbie asked as she came in after hearing Michael. “I don’t want him here,” Michael hissed. “I’ll just go,” Justin said. He left the room quickly. “Michael,” Debbie said practically running up to her son. “He’s came to see that you were okay. He’s such a nice guy.” “I don’t want him here,” Michael said again. “Can you please bring Brian here?” “Does something hurt?” Debbie asked. “Ma,” Michael whined. “Tell Brian to come here.” Debbie went out to see Brian getting up and stretching. “We’re going to the diner,” Daphne said. “We convinced Brian to go. He looks like he could use some food.” “That’s good,” Debbie told them. They had been there since the afternoon and now it was almost nightfall. Brian had not moved from that spot. “I don’t know,” Brian said. “Mikey needs me.” “He’s fine,” Debbie said. “You can come back later. He’ll understand that you need to take care of yourself too.” At that moment David came back. “He has David,” Debbie said. Brian nodded and looked at Justin. “Okay.” Justin looked at Vic. “You can come with us?” “Can you drop me home?” Vic asked. “I’m kind of tired.” “I didn’t bring my car,” Justin told him. “We can take a cab,” Daphne said. “Here,” David said. “You can use my car. You’re coming back, right?” Justin took the keys and nodded. Debbie was happy that Justin was helping them. The blond had certain magnetism that you couldn’t say no to him. “Be careful.” “I’m going to bring us some coffee, Deb,” David told her walking away. Debbie walked back to the room to check on Michael. “Ma, where is Brian?” Michael asked. “He left,” Debbie said. “He has to eat something.” “What?” Michael asked. “He left me?” “David is here and so am I. Justin convinced Brian that he needed to eat something. He’s such a good boy,” Debbie smiled. “They will be back later.” “Ahhh!” Michael screamed and hit the bed. “Are you hurt baby?” Debbie asked as soon as he saw the tears. “Where does it hurt?” At the time the only place that Michael was hurting was his heart. *** I bet you’re hard to get over I bet the room just won’t shine Brian opened his eyes when he heard someone opening the lock. He heard the door being thrown shut and that’s pretty much when he realized it wasn’t the door to the loft. He sat up and looked around and wondered when he had gotten there. Justin came into the bedroom and looked at Brian. “Hey,” he walked over to the closet and pulled out a shirt. “I came from the hospital. They’re letting Michael go in the morning.” “Why didn’t you wake me up?” Brian asked. Justin shrugged. “I had to take Daphne home. You were exhausted and I let you sleep. Then I went to drop David’s car off and took a cab back home,” he informed him as he took a pair of underwear from the drawer. Brian remembered they had come to the blond’s apartment after having dropped Vic. They had eaten something and then had a few drinks. He remembered walking to the bed and after that he didn’t remember much. He rubbed his face and sighed. “What are you doing?” Brian asked when Justin started to strip down. “I’m going to take a shower,” Justin told him. “Are you hungry? There still food in the fridge. You barely ate.” Brian shook his head. Justin shrugged and walked to take a shower. When he came back he had a towel around his waist. He grabbed the shirt he had taken from the closet and put it on. “I should go,” Brian told him. “Fine,” Justin said and sat in the bed to dry his feet and thighs to put on his briefs. Brian stared at Justin’s back and smiled. “That’s mine.” Justin looked back and then at his shirt. “Yeah so?” “Well, it’s mine,” Brian told him. “Do you want me to take it off?” Justin arched a brow. Brian frowned. “You’re so fucking weird. You’re wearing my clothes.” “I have clothes that have gone missing too,” Justin pointed out. “Shut up,” Brian told him trying to sound indignantly. But he had stolen a sweater or two from the blond. He was fucking nuts as well. He would smell them and wouldn’t wash them wanting them to smell of the blond. “Weren’t you leaving?” Justin asked. Brian stayed silent. Justin looked back and arched a brow. “Brian? What are you going to do?” “Yes,” Brian said. “What?” Justin asked. “I want my shirt back,” Brian told him. Justin thought Brian was acting like a complete five year old. He was about to get up to find something else when Brian pulled him back. “I want it now,” Brian told him in a husky voice. Justin swallowed and slowly kneeled in front of Brian. “You want it?” “Yes, please,” Brian said both of them pretending to be talking about the shirt. Justin started to unbutton the shirt. He kept staring at Brian who wasn’t taking his eyes way from him. Brian was an impatient man so he just kneeled in the bed and pushed Justin back. He ripped the shirt open and stared at Justin’s cock. He grabbed it and started jerking him slowly. Justin closed his eyes. “We’re not supposed to be doing this.” “No,” Brian turned his head to look at Justin. He bent down and kissed him. His tongue vibrated with pleasure as Justin’s unique taste washed over the appendage. Justin’s hand grabbed the back of Brian’s neck and kept him in place as he sucked Brian’s tongue with such fury that Brian pulled back scared. “What are you doing?” Justin asked and stopped Brian’s hand from jerking him. “Nothing,” Brian muttered as his other hand rested on Justin’s neck. His thumb moved slightly under the porcelain skin. “I thought we agreed not to do this again,” Justin whispered closing his eyes. His heart was beating fast and he was feeling Brian. He was feeling the man in every inch of his body, in every organ, consuming his soul. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian told him. “We’re just friends.” “You do this with all of your friends?” Justin asked smiling. Brian got really close. His lips brushed against the blond’s. “Only the very special ones,” he muttered. Justin could barely hear him. He smiled widely and opened his eyes. “Oh yeah?” “Yes,” Brian said and kissed him. His mouth then moved to Justin’s neck and behind Justin’s ear. “Fuck,” Justin growled. He knew that Brian knew his weak points. Brian pulled back. “Give me a condom.” “Umm,” Justin looked around. “There.” Brian moved back and went to the dresser. He started opening the drawers. “Why do you keep moving them?” “I don’t,” Justin hissed. “I buy them and wherever they end up that’s where they lay. Don’t you have one on you?” Brian stared searching his pocket. “Oh fuck, I have one in my jacket.” Justin groaned in frustration. When Brian came back he did so with a condom and sans his clothes. He got in the bed and put the condom on. “Turn around,” Brian told him. Justin did his eyes closing as he felt Brian’s hand on him. “I’m going to fuck you so hard,” Brian growled. “Then do it,” Justin told him. He moved onto his hands and knees. Brian ripped the condom open and put it on. He placed his cock at Justin’s entrance and started to push inside. He closed his eyes and felt everything spinning around him. He felt like an inexperience kid at that moment. Justin started moving of his own accord. “Fuck, Brian. Fuck me!” “You seem to be doing fine by yourself,” Brian’s hands caressed Justin’s back. “Fuck yeah.” Justin gripped the sheets and started to slam back into the brunet. “Easy there,” Brian grabbed Justin’s hips. He took control of their pace and watched as Justin’s muscles rippled as they moved. He moved his hands to Justin’s globes and stretched them apart. He watched as his cock made in and out of Justin’s hole. “Umm,” Justin was in heaven as Brian did whatever he wanted with him. He felt his shoulders being pushed down. “Gripped it really hard,” Brian growled. “I want to feel you around me.” “Oh,” Justin did and felt the man’s cock rubbing his prostate. “Ah, more!” Brian gripped the back of Justin’s arms and fucked him hard. His forehead dropped on the back of Justin’s head. Their breathing was erratic as they bodies moved trying to reach the same goal. Their sweat mixed together and it smelled of nothing but pure sex in the room. Justin reached for his cock and started jerking himself. Brian moved back and gripped Justin’s hips. He started to jab at Justin’s hole. “Brian!” Justin moaned as his cum soaked the sheets. He squeezed Brian inside of him and felt the man shaking. “Ah!” Brian growled hammering fast as he experienced his orgasm. Brian stayed on top of Justin catching his breath. Justin did the same but once they were breathing normally none of them moved away. Brian started kissing Justin’s neck and the blond purred happily. “We have to take a shower,” Brian muttered. “I was clean,” Justin protested. “It’s your fault.” Brian laughed and pulled away from Justin. The two of them went to the shower but didn’t stay long. Justin came out first and changed the bed covers. When Brian came out the blond was already in the bed naked. He got in the bed and they looked at each other. They were both smiling and trying to hide it. Justin was the first to start touching the brunet. His hand caressed Brian’s skin. Brian started doing the same. Their heads came closer until they were kissing one another. “How are you feeling?” Justin asked as he pulled back. “Okay,” Brian thought about Michael briefly. “I’m okay. “You know,” Justin said chuckled. “Your special friends are very lucky,” he informed the brunet as he wrapped himself on the sheets and then moved his head on top of Brian’s chest. Brian looked at Justin and laughed a bit nervous. He threw an arm around Justin’s shoulder and shook his head. “So far,” he took a deep breath knowing fully well what he was saying. “Just one.” Justin looked up at the brunet. He smiled from ear to ear and Brian saw his world shinning again. *** Feel the sun in your face And tell me what you’re thinking Catch the snow on your tongue And show me how it tastes “Jesus fuck,” Brian watched as Justin finished his second plate. “What are you a vacuum?” Justin stuck his tongue out at him and chuckled. “It was really good.” “We can see that,” Melanie said. “Leave space for dessert,” Lindsay told him. “I made apple pie from scratch.” “It’s delicious,” Emmett said to Justin. Justin looked at Debbie. “You’re great Deb. If I was straight I would marry you.” Debbie laughed. “He’s amazing,” she grabbed the blond’s cheek. “Thank you, Sunshine.” “Just for her food,” Ted laughed. “It’s the way to a man’s heart,” Vic told them. “Remember that.” “Brian doesn’t eat much,” Emmett commented. “How do you do it, Justin?” “Well,” Justin said in the same sarcastic tone that Emmett used. “There are other things.” “Like what?” Melanie rolled her eyes. She didn’t like Brian much and was starting to like Justin even less. “My big cock up his ass,” Justin said. “Jesus,” Lindsay said. Debbie laughed and shook her head. “Sunshine.” “Mine is bigger than yours,” Brian told him smirking. Justin smiled and he thought that sunshine was right; the blond’s smile could light up the room like the sun. Brian had missed that smile. “You wish,” Justin told him. “I can always help you guys measure,” Vic offered. “Vic!” Debbie shrieked. The whole table laughed about that. “Here is the pie,” Debbie said putting it on the table before she went to get some plates. “I’ll take Michael a piece,” Brian offered when they started cutting it. “How much can you eat Justin?” Lindsay asked but before he could answer she cut a big piece for him. “Is that enough?” “Yes,” Justin told her and took the plate to put it in front of him. He got up and excused himself to go to the bathroom really quick. He went up the stairs slowly. “What the hell is going on, Brian?” Michael asked. Justin was about to go into the bathroom but stopped. He moved closer to Michael’s room. The door was ajar so he kept where he was scared that they might see him. He didn’t know why he was snooping around since he never did it but he wasn’t moving away. “Michael,” Brian said pinching the bridge of his nose. “I came here to give you your fucking dessert.” “I don’t want it,” Michael hissed. “I want to know what Justin is doing here. I heard Ma saying that you two were back together.” “We’re not a fucking couple,” Brian hissed. Justin nodded in agreement with what Brian was saying. “Are you fucking him again?” Michael asked. Brian nodded slowly. “Then you guys are back together,” Michael said. “It doesn’t matter what you say or he says. You have this fucked up relationship and I...I...” he let out tears and then looked away from the brunet. “You what?” Brian asked. “Nothing,” Michael said. “I’m your friend, Brian. I just thought you would tell me that’s all.” Justin wasn’t eating the lie and he was sure that Brian wasn’t either. “Right,” Brian said knowing well enough that Michael was about to say something else. Justin backed away slowly and as silent as possible. He went to the bathroom and while he was there he heard Brian go down the stairs. When he went back to the living room the brunet was nowhere to be found. “He’s outside,” Emmett whispered to Justin as he passed him by. Justin took a deep breath and sat down to eat his pie. When he was done Brian was still outside so he just went out to see if Brian was okay. “Hey,” he said as he stood next to the man. “Hi,” Brian looked at him and then passed him the joint. Justin took it and they didn’t say anything else for a long time. “We’re going to freeze to death here,” Brian commented. “I know you wouldn’t let that happen,” Justin told him and smiled. Brian put his forehead against Justin’s. He stared at the blond’s smile and ran his thumb over his man’s lips. Justin arched a brow. “What?” he knew that Brian was cooking something up in his brain. “Nothing,” Brian told him. “What are you thinking?” Justin wrapped one of his arms around Brian’s waist. In the other one he held the blunt. “I know you were there,” Brian said. “Do you have eyes on your back or something?” Justin asked not denying it. Brian shook his head. “I saw you through the mirror.” “Oh,” Justin laughed about it. “I don’t think Michael saw you,” Brian said as he took the blunt back from the blond. Justin shrugged. “I don’t really care.” “He’s right you know,” Brian said. “In a way...about us.” “What are you talking about?” Justin asked. “All I heard was the tirade of a mad man heavily medicated.” Brian frowned and looked away from Justin briefly. They had ended up in the place they had been trying to avoid. No matter how much he pulled away from the blond, it was hopeless. Justin rolled his eyes. “Right, no bad talk about your best friend.” Brian sighed not really caring what Justin was saying about Michael. He had more important things to think about at the moment. “It’s a fucking relationship.” Justin stayed quiet after hearing those words. He wondered how it had happened. How it was that Brian became so important in his life when he hadn’t even been looking for the man in the first place. “I never wanted this,” Brian said. “Me neither,” Justin looked at Brian. “I...I still don’t think of this as a relationship.” Brian felt the same way. “We’re just having fun,” Justin assured Brian but he wasn’t so sure himself. Brian threw the last of the weed on the floor and stepped over it. “We should go back. It’s starting to snow,” he said as he pulled away from Justin. “Okay,” Justin told him but didn’t move towards the house. When Brian turned to look at the blond he caught Justin sticking his tongue out to catch a snowflake. “You’re fucking nuts.” “What?” Justin asked pretending to be shocked. “I used to do it when I was little. It tastes great.” Brian smiled and got closer to the blond. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah,” Justin muttered. “I’ll have to try it,” Brian murmured as he leaned closer to Justin’s mouth. He caressed Justin’s lips with his thumb, a habit he had developed, and then kissed the blond. When they pulled back they were both heavily panting. They were hard as a rock and when they looked around the floor was already covered with white snow. “I care for you,” Justin whispered holding on to Brian. “Me too,” Brian told him. They wrapped their arms around each other tightly. “So now what?” Justin asked meaning to what they were going to do with their fucked up relationship. Would they stay together and see what happened or just separate and go their own ways. Brian rubbed his nose against Justin’s. “I have no fucking idea.” Justin nodded sharing the feeling.