AN: I know I sort of promised people confuntations in this chapter, but the buildup took a bit longer than I thought it would. Next chapter will have the showdowns and Brian's payment for queening out on Justin? As always, I love feedback. Tell me what's good, what needs help, and what is truly dreadful. ********************************************************** Chapter 8 Brian’s POV After “warming” Justin up, we both fall into a light slumber. At least mine was light, Justin, on the other hand, slept like the dead. I’m sure he’s exhausted. The last couple of months had been a bitch with school, prepping for his show and working. I watch him sleeping for a few minutes, marveling as I often do in these quiet times that I’ve gotten so lucky. Pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, I decide to let him sleep a bit longer and go in search of the rest of the household. I find Michael, JR and Gus camped out in the kids’ playroom. Michael is helping JR build something with her giant Lego’s and Gus is quietly playing with his own Lego’s. Seeing me standing at the door, Gus runs to me wrapping his arms around my waist. “Where’s Daddy Jusin, Daddy?” He looks up at me with an adoring look and my heart swells with pride and love for this boy. “He’s taking a nap, Sonnyboy. He’s had a long trip and wants to make sure he’s rested enough so he can play with you later tonight.” I watch his face light up and I’m so grateful the two most important people in my life love each other so much. “More likely you wore him out. Don’t you ever get enough, Brian?” Michael looks at me with a smirk on his face, taking the sting out of his words. As I watch my son walk back to play with his blocks I snark back, “There’s no such thing as enough, Mikey. Especially when it concerns sex and the blond. I could fuck him fifty ways to Sunday and still want more.” “More like 150, and could you watch the language in front of my kid?” Michael glances at JR and sighs with relief that she seems to ignore her Uncle Brian. “You may want to watch your language around your son too, Bri.” Lindsey makes her presence known in her special way. “He’s at an age where he likes to mimic what he hears.” “Yes, Ma.” I glance back at Gus, and seeing that he’s occupied, I motion for Lindsey to follow me. “Take a walk with me.” It’s not a request and Lindsey merely nods her head as we go through the kitchen, grabbing our coats and heading out the back door. We follow the path leading past the pool and head toward the stables. I want to be far away from the house for this particular discussion. “So, Brian, what’s on your mind?” Lindsey runs her hands through her hair, down the legs of her jeans and looks anywhere but at me. Her anxiety lets me know she knows exactly what I want to talk to her about. “You know damn well what’s on my mind.” I pause to open the stable door and usher her to the far end where my neighbor keeps his stockpile of hay. Justin and I have talked about getting horses, but for the time being we agreed that Mitchell Gold, our neighbor on the left, could use it as a storage facility for his extra hay and feed for his own stables. Yes, his last name wasn’t lost on me, but, fortunately, he’s of no relation to the fiddle-fuck. That would have been too much irony, even for me. I’m pulled from these musings by Lindsey clearing her throat. I encourage her to take a seat on a stack of hay and position myself in front of her. “Exactly what is your problem with Gus thinking of and calling Justin daddy?” I watch her squirm for a few moments trying to form her response. Her cloudy, troubled eyes reveal her fear of pissing me off. Finally she seems to make a decision and begins to speak. “I’m afraid of Gus getting too attached to Justin. I don’t want to see him hurt when Justin isn’t around.” “That’s stupid, Lindsey. Gus has had a connection with Justin from the night he was born. He named Gus for christ’s sake.” I begin pacing back and forth, trying to vent my growing anger before it spews onto Lindsey. “I know that, Brian. And I allowed it because he chose the name I wanted. Jesus, Brian, you didn’t honestly think I would let one of your random tricks name our son did you?” She gives me an indignant look and it’s all I can do not to shake her and scream. “He was never just a trick and you damn well know it. How many times did you tell me how much I loved him and to treat him better. I though you loved him, Lindz.” “I do love him. He’s like the little brother I always wanted. But it doesn’t mean I think he’s good for you, or Gus.” “When did you change your tune? How many years have you been telling me to grow up and accept the love he was offering?” I stop packing and pin her with a death glare. “I never though you would do it. I didn’t think Peter would ever grow up. It was the one constant in my life. Something I could always count on. And a part of me thought that if you did one day leave the little boy behind, we could…” She doesn’t finish that thought and instead says, “I don’t know how to deal with this new Brian.” “well, Wendy, you better get used to the new and improved me. Christ, I just get Michael straightened out, so to speck, and now you.” I begin pacing again, stopping Lindsey from coming near me with death glares. “Why does everyone else get to grow up, find love and be happy? Why must I stay the same, never experiencing what everyone else has? Aren’t I good enough?” “You never wanted that, Brian. When did that change?” She looks at me like I’ve grown a second head or something. “When I nearly lost him for the second time. The bomb at Babylon rocked my foundation. Thinking that he was dead, again, made me realize what A stupid ass I’ve been and how stupid all my ideas had become. I’m no longer that 18 year old boy who was hiding from Jack and Joanie Kinney’s legacy of fucked emotions.” “Then why call off the wedding? Why let him go to New York?” Lindsey looked at me with questioning eyes, trying to understand. “Because you were right. He does deserve a chance to make something of his art and New York is the best place to make that happen.” I sit beside her and she puts her arms around me, hugging me tight. “So where does that leave your relationship?” “It’s not easy, that’s for sure, but we’re making it work. We’ve always done better when we let our relationship follow its own course and define itself. He’ll be back, eventually. Or, I’ll move to New York. In a year or two Kinnetic will be ready to expand.” I grasp her hand and force her to look at me. “Regardless of where our relationship goes, Justin will always be a part of Gus’ life and Gus deserves whatever makes him happy. Justin may not physically be around all the time, but he talks to Gus on the phone and sends him packages all the time. I’m just surprised it’s taken our son this long to vocalize his feelings for Justin.” “Me too.” She squeezes my hand and continues, “I’m just worried about what’s going to happen when Justin goes to Europe for a year a year from now. Will he still have time to talk with Gus?” I stiffen at her words. What’s this about Europe? She feels me stiffen. “Oh god. You didn’t know? A friend of mine on the committee called me today to catch up and mention that Justin was one of the twelve chosen for the Philberg Program. It’s a great honor. He’s going to have so many experiences.” I notice a touch of wistfulness in her voice. A knot develops in the pit of my stomach and I have the sudden desire to throw up. Forcing the thoughts away I stand up and pull Lindsey with me. “It’ll all work out. Let’s go back in. I’m sure dinner’s ready by now and you know how Martha hates letting her food get cold.” We stroll back to the house, Lindsey chattering about food or some random shit. I ignore her, lost in my own thoughts about Justin’s European adventure and wondering exactly where that leaves us. Justin’s POV Michael, Ben, Mel and I are just getting the kids settled in the dining room when Brian and Lindsey come back in. I go to Brian and pull him in for a quick kiss. “Thanks for letting me rest. I needed to recharge a bit.” “Anytime.” He pecks my lips again and moves to focus on Gus. It seems a little odd, but I let it go and turn to Lindsey instead. Watching her struggle to meet my eyes clues me in to why Brian is pissy. I’m sure they “talked about Gus’ declaration earlier. Resolving to talk with Mel and Lindz after the kids are in bed, I let it go for the time being and choose instead to put Lindsey at ease. “Welcome back stateside. I’m sorry I haven’t been home to welcome you properly.” I step in to give her a light hug. She pulls me into a deeper hug as she replies, “It’s good to be back. And it’s really good to see you. I’m sorry we didn’t get ot come up for your show, but we were in the middle of moving hell.” She looks like she wants to say more, but I stop her by placing my fingers on her lips. “We’ll talk later. Right now let’s just enjoy this gorgeous mean Martha’s prepared.” The last part is said just loud enough for everyone to hear. I turn toward the table and smile at the seating arrangement. Brian is sitting at one end of the table with and empty chair immediately to his left. Gus is in the next chair with an empty chair on his left for Lindsey. Mel is at the other end of the table, and the irony of Mel and Brian’s positions is almost too much. I giggle and receive a mock death glare from Brian. JR’s highchair is set up to the left of Melanie and Michael is on her left. Ben finishes off the table beside Michael, leaving another empty chair between him and Brian. “Could you imagine having the entire family here for dinner?” I say to no one in particular. “We’ll get to find out at Christmas.” Brian says directing his first full sentence at me since he came in. “Deb’s going to come over Christmas Eve to start cooking. Martha has Christmas Eve to New Year’s off so we’ll be roughing it.” He joked. “I’m sure between leftovers and the rest of us we’ll be fine.” Lindsey said laughing at Brian’s fear of cooking. “You’ll be well fed.” Everyone settled into silence as Martha brought in the first tray of food. Lindz walked and sat down between Gus and Mel. I was unsure which seat to take when Gus made the decision for me. “Daddy Jusin, Daddy said you could sit between us while you’re here.” Talk consists of catching up as food is passed around. I’m the main focus of discussion, though I attempt to ask as many questions as I answer. Dinner passed with ease and I begin to think I imagined Brian’s aloofness. He touches me frequently, even leaning over to kiss me a couple of times. It isn’t until dessert that things start to go wrong. “Justin, honey, Lindsey tells me you were accepted into the Philberg program. A year in Europe, wow, when do you leave?” Melanie looks at me questioningly. I feel Brian tense beside me and remove his hand from mine. Glancing at him quickly, I suddenly realized why he’s been so standoffish. Damn Lindsey. How the hell did she find out so fast anyway? Glancing toward her, I notice she has her head down, refusing to look at anyone. Sighing, resigned to having to deal with Brian later, I reply, “I’m not sure how you found out so quickly. I just found out a half hour before I left to come home.” I glance again at Brian, but his face is a mask as usual. “The Philberg program is part of the MFA program. After I gradue in May, I will start the MFA. The first semester will be class instruction at IFA, then a year from January I will be in Europe hopping between 11 countries. One a month. After that year will be back in New York for another semester learning the fine points of marketing and the ins and outs of running a gallery.” I pause while Martha clears away our dessert plates. Brian’s tense jaw is the only indication that he’s listening. “After graduation it’s up to me where I go and what I do. 99% of the graduate of the Philberg program have been able to do whatever they want. The art world is theirs for the taking and even those who’ve chosen to go into business have been extremely successful.” “Justin that’s wonderful. I know a couple of past graduate and they are very successful.” Lindsey gushes over my acceptance. “I need a smoke.” Brian gets up from the table and goes through the kitchen and out the back. A minute later we see the motion lights go on by the pool. Knowing it’s better to deal with a queening Brian sooner rather than later, I begin to excuse myself. “Daddy Jusin, will you play with me now?” Gus looks up at me hopefully. Altering my plans slightly I say, “Sure bubby. Why don’t you go set up what you want to play while O go talk to Daddy and convince him to play with us.” “YEAH!!! We can play Candyland.” Gus runs off to set up the board game and I can’t help laughing at the mental image of Brian playing the kid’s game. “Justin?” Lindsey says as she places her hand on my shoulder. “I really didn’t’ mean to cause trouble for you. I thought he already knew.” “I planned on telling him, but we were a bit ‘busy’ and I haven’t had a chance.” I blush at bit thinking how Brian had kept me busy. Shrugging her hand off my shoulder I continue, “I would like to talk to you and Mel after the kids go to bed. I think we need to clear the air.” Looking troubled, Lindz starts, “About earlier, I’m…” I cut her off with a look. “Later, Lindsey. Right now I need to remind the beast a promise he made to me.” I turn to follow Brian’s exit, fortifying my resolve to remind him of his promise to me on the night I originally left Pittsburg for New York.